1 00:00:49,666 --> 00:00:52,249 (upbeat music) 2 00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:59,124 (baby crying) 3 00:01:08,582 --> 00:01:10,683 But we live in a permissive society. 4 00:01:10,707 --> 00:01:12,725 Not on this street, we don't. 5 00:01:12,749 --> 00:01:14,433 Everybody's at it. 6 00:01:14,457 --> 00:01:16,225 Not with me, they're not. 7 00:01:16,249 --> 00:01:18,642 Girls are supposed to be crying out for it. 8 00:01:18,666 --> 00:01:20,558 Not this one. 9 00:01:20,582 --> 00:01:22,892 I'm the silent majority. 10 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,058 It's only manners these days. 11 00:01:24,082 --> 00:01:27,100 Total strangers do it now instead of shaking hands. 12 00:01:27,124 --> 00:01:28,124 God is love! 13 00:01:30,499 --> 00:01:31,499 Jesus! 14 00:01:32,916 --> 00:01:35,666 (wind whistling) 15 00:01:38,624 --> 00:01:41,207 (horn honking) 16 00:01:53,541 --> 00:01:56,124 (horn honking) 17 00:01:57,457 --> 00:01:58,808 [Sandra] We've never seen him in real life, though, 18 00:01:58,832 --> 00:02:01,082 only his picture in the papers. 19 00:02:01,957 --> 00:02:03,642 Oh come on, Sandra, let's go. 20 00:02:03,666 --> 00:02:04,683 No I don't want to. I want to wait. 21 00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:06,600 I've had enough standing out here. It's stupid. 22 00:02:06,624 --> 00:02:08,017 But he might come in a minute. 23 00:02:08,041 --> 00:02:10,225 We waited ages yesterday, and he never turned up then. 24 00:02:10,249 --> 00:02:12,808 - But that was yesterday. - He might be here today. 25 00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:14,475 I feel really daft standing here. 26 00:02:14,499 --> 00:02:17,517 Come on, we're supposed to be going shopping. 27 00:02:17,541 --> 00:02:18,832 Please let's go. 28 00:02:22,166 --> 00:02:24,058 Oh, no. 29 00:02:24,082 --> 00:02:25,183 I told you so, didn't I? 30 00:02:25,207 --> 00:02:27,041 I feel a right twit now. 31 00:02:28,416 --> 00:02:29,499 I don't fancy yours. 32 00:02:30,707 --> 00:02:31,933 Which is mine? 33 00:02:31,957 --> 00:02:33,207 Any except the blonde. 34 00:02:34,666 --> 00:02:36,166 Oh, good. 35 00:02:37,332 --> 00:02:38,975 We're being stared at. 36 00:02:38,999 --> 00:02:39,999 Where? 37 00:02:42,332 --> 00:02:43,957 Don't fancy yours. 38 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:46,975 Which is mine? 39 00:02:46,999 --> 00:02:50,041 Any. Except the blonde or the one with the yellow legs. 40 00:02:52,791 --> 00:02:54,874 Thanks, neither do I. 41 00:02:56,499 --> 00:02:58,124 Fancy the one with the twitch? 42 00:03:00,624 --> 00:03:02,975 About as much as Mao Tse Tung's granddad, 43 00:03:02,999 --> 00:03:05,832 with all due respect, to his granddad. 44 00:03:06,874 --> 00:03:08,808 Ask them if they'll do a turn. 45 00:03:08,832 --> 00:03:10,142 Ew. 46 00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:11,225 I thought we were given sex up 47 00:03:11,249 --> 00:03:12,957 as a protest at never getting any. 48 00:03:13,832 --> 00:03:14,832 Ignore them. 49 00:03:22,874 --> 00:03:23,874 Hi. 50 00:03:24,749 --> 00:03:26,267 Hi. 51 00:03:26,291 --> 00:03:27,100 Hi. 52 00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:28,124 Hi. 53 00:03:30,416 --> 00:03:31,416 Ha... 54 00:03:33,207 --> 00:03:34,207 Peace, man. 55 00:03:34,957 --> 00:03:37,850 Were you hoping to see Georgie Best? 56 00:03:37,874 --> 00:03:40,142 He's in Majorca. 57 00:03:40,166 --> 00:03:41,225 Come on then. 58 00:03:41,249 --> 00:03:44,475 We only get an hour for lunch. 59 00:03:44,499 --> 00:03:46,541 There's a discotheque in Albert Square. 60 00:03:52,832 --> 00:03:53,832 Come on. 61 00:03:54,957 --> 00:03:58,600 I thought we were going for tights. 62 00:03:58,624 --> 00:04:00,082 It's our lunch hour. 63 00:04:01,499 --> 00:04:04,166 It's ours. We were going for lunch. 64 00:04:08,541 --> 00:04:09,600 Shall I tell you something pretty 65 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,249 mind-blowing about Majorca? 66 00:04:12,249 --> 00:04:13,791 It's one place I've never been. 67 00:04:15,374 --> 00:04:16,374 Pardon? 68 00:04:18,041 --> 00:04:19,041 I'm Geoffrey. 69 00:04:20,582 --> 00:04:22,725 I don't happen to be attached. 70 00:04:22,749 --> 00:04:25,642 I'm Beryl. I don't happen to be surprised. 71 00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:28,249 (upbeat music) 72 00:04:41,832 --> 00:04:44,767 ♪ Don't you worry ♪ 73 00:04:44,791 --> 00:04:49,642 ♪ Love and rainy weather may sound funny ♪ 74 00:04:49,666 --> 00:04:54,666 ♪ But they go together fine ♪ 75 00:04:55,499 --> 00:04:58,142 ♪ Every single time ♪ 76 00:04:58,166 --> 00:05:00,058 ♪ Don't you worry ♪ 77 00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:02,058 ♪ Love and rainy weather ♪ 78 00:05:02,082 --> 00:05:04,975 ♪ First you're up there ♪ 79 00:05:04,999 --> 00:05:09,791 ♪ On another plain and then you're nowhere ♪ 80 00:05:09,832 --> 00:05:14,832 ♪ And the tears are raining down ♪ 81 00:05:14,999 --> 00:05:19,999 ♪ It's a runaround ♪ 82 00:05:20,666 --> 00:05:25,058 ♪ Love and rainy weather ♪ 83 00:05:25,082 --> 00:05:28,416 ♪ Sure can get you down ♪ 84 00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:34,457 Not going twisting tonight then? 85 00:05:38,457 --> 00:05:40,683 That's the modern name for it, isn't it? 86 00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:41,892 For what? 87 00:05:41,916 --> 00:05:43,041 [Mildred] Cutting a rug. 88 00:05:44,666 --> 00:05:45,518 Pardon? 89 00:05:45,542 --> 00:05:46,933 Grooving, Mildred. 90 00:05:46,957 --> 00:05:48,558 It's called grooving nowadays. 91 00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:51,600 Grooving and/or freaking, right? 92 00:05:51,624 --> 00:05:52,957 What I'm not doing tonight? 93 00:05:52,999 --> 00:05:53,999 Right. 94 00:05:54,916 --> 00:05:56,308 Right on. 95 00:05:56,332 --> 00:05:58,100 Are you staying in tonight then? 96 00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:00,582 Tonight, tomorrow night, every night. 97 00:06:02,041 --> 00:06:03,725 I might sell me overcoat. 98 00:06:03,749 --> 00:06:05,541 Life's not all pleasure, you know. 99 00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:09,433 Mildred, don't hassle the lad. 100 00:06:09,457 --> 00:06:10,457 Hassle. 101 00:06:11,707 --> 00:06:14,183 It's a different world today, Mildred. 102 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,225 We had a week's honeymoon in Blackpool 103 00:06:16,249 --> 00:06:18,183 for what this Finney Hatty cost. 104 00:06:18,207 --> 00:06:20,017 They do their own thing. 105 00:06:20,041 --> 00:06:21,957 The usual 1,300 weight? 106 00:06:24,707 --> 00:06:27,433 Now that's the new world that we worked for. 107 00:06:27,457 --> 00:06:28,957 And fought for. 108 00:06:28,999 --> 00:06:31,642 Full-page advert for contraception. 109 00:06:31,666 --> 00:06:32,707 It's his birthright. 110 00:06:35,582 --> 00:06:36,582 I'm not hungry. 111 00:06:37,999 --> 00:06:39,808 What's that supposed to mean? 112 00:06:39,832 --> 00:06:43,142 It's the hip way cool people say I'm not hungry. 113 00:06:43,166 --> 00:06:45,749 (soft humming) 114 00:06:50,291 --> 00:06:53,308 ♪ La, la Ia ♪ 115 00:06:53,332 --> 00:06:55,517 ♪ La, la Ia ♪ 116 00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:58,957 (traffic passing nearby) 117 00:06:59,957 --> 00:07:02,249 I enjoy staying and chatting as an evening. 118 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:06,808 I find it fantastically enjoyable. 119 00:07:06,832 --> 00:07:09,767 No, really. I really do. 120 00:07:09,791 --> 00:07:10,791 Some people don't. 121 00:07:13,124 --> 00:07:14,308 I do. 122 00:07:14,332 --> 00:07:16,433 Beryl, please take my word for it. 123 00:07:16,457 --> 00:07:18,517 Paul McCartney's never going to ring that doorbell 124 00:07:18,541 --> 00:07:20,017 and invite you to the pictures. 125 00:07:20,041 --> 00:07:21,350 Paul McCartney who? 126 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:22,850 He doesn't know you've been faithful to him 127 00:07:22,874 --> 00:07:24,600 ever since "Hard Day's Night." 128 00:07:24,624 --> 00:07:27,058 And please don't say Paul McCartney who? 129 00:07:27,082 --> 00:07:29,767 I sacrificed too much for your six O levels. 130 00:07:29,791 --> 00:07:30,791 Five. 131 00:07:31,832 --> 00:07:34,850 You were terrific in there, weren't you? 132 00:07:34,874 --> 00:07:35,684 I never touched you. 133 00:07:35,708 --> 00:07:36,999 Terrific self-control. 134 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:40,916 (baby crying nearby) 135 00:07:41,957 --> 00:07:43,725 What did you say your name was? 136 00:07:43,749 --> 00:07:46,249 (light music) 137 00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:55,791 (toy squeaking) 138 00:08:02,332 --> 00:08:05,249 Mind you, just a weekend would do with you, Paul. 139 00:08:06,291 --> 00:08:07,541 Not a dirty weekend. 140 00:08:08,957 --> 00:08:10,332 A disgusting one (giggles). 141 00:08:14,082 --> 00:08:16,457 Night-night, Percy Filth. 142 00:08:17,582 --> 00:08:20,082 (light music) 143 00:08:21,749 --> 00:08:24,767 (dog barking nearby) 144 00:08:24,791 --> 00:08:26,808 Have you always been insatiable? 145 00:08:26,832 --> 00:08:28,892 (dog barking) 146 00:08:28,916 --> 00:08:31,142 It's not my fault. 147 00:08:31,166 --> 00:08:34,166 It's just that I don't like blondes. 148 00:08:36,457 --> 00:08:38,041 It's psychosomatic. 149 00:08:41,332 --> 00:08:42,143 I'm sorry. 150 00:08:42,167 --> 00:08:44,666 (dog barking) 151 00:08:46,249 --> 00:08:47,374 Ah. 152 00:09:02,082 --> 00:09:03,558 (light music) 153 00:09:03,582 --> 00:09:04,582 Sandra. 154 00:09:05,874 --> 00:09:07,874 Your hair's almost blonde in this light. 155 00:09:11,957 --> 00:09:12,957 What's wrong? 156 00:09:14,207 --> 00:09:15,374 I'm just being brave. 157 00:09:16,666 --> 00:09:17,808 What about? 158 00:09:17,832 --> 00:09:18,832 Ending it all, 159 00:09:20,374 --> 00:09:22,499 before we hurt each other too much. 160 00:09:23,457 --> 00:09:24,957 It's our first date. 161 00:09:27,874 --> 00:09:31,600 Probably wasted your entire evening, haven't I? 162 00:09:31,624 --> 00:09:32,933 Not yet. 163 00:09:32,957 --> 00:09:35,249 Not if your parents aren't back till midnight. 164 00:09:37,832 --> 00:09:41,457 Don't you think you're too old for this sort of thing? 165 00:09:41,499 --> 00:09:44,892 Straight from Stanley Matthews to Brigitte Bardot you went. 166 00:09:44,916 --> 00:09:45,916 Overnight. 167 00:09:46,666 --> 00:09:49,517 That was when you were too young for this sort of thing. 168 00:09:49,541 --> 00:09:51,475 It's artistic, Mother. 169 00:09:51,499 --> 00:09:53,332 Like your Tutankhamun butter dish. 170 00:09:54,166 --> 00:09:56,666 (light music) 171 00:10:03,499 --> 00:10:04,600 What? 172 00:10:04,624 --> 00:10:05,476 Got it. 173 00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:06,850 Got what? 174 00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:09,517 You now ask if I never want to see you again. 175 00:10:09,541 --> 00:10:11,392 I say I do. 176 00:10:11,416 --> 00:10:14,517 You then stop crying quick as a flash and say something like 177 00:10:14,541 --> 00:10:17,558 how about Sunday, half seven, outside Central Library? 178 00:10:17,582 --> 00:10:18,582 No, I don't. 179 00:10:19,666 --> 00:10:21,999 Tomorrow, half seven, outside Central Library. 180 00:10:23,416 --> 00:10:27,225 Then when I say okay, does your zip miraculously undo? 181 00:10:27,249 --> 00:10:29,850 It does not. 182 00:10:29,874 --> 00:10:31,808 I thought it did. 183 00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:36,142 Not until you've unfastened the pressed stud. 184 00:10:36,166 --> 00:10:37,892 I can see her doing your ironing, 185 00:10:37,916 --> 00:10:39,517 and cooking, and cleaning. 186 00:10:39,541 --> 00:10:41,933 You wouldn't need to book for the Christmas pantomime. 187 00:10:41,957 --> 00:10:44,517 I don't intend to marry her, Mother, 188 00:10:44,541 --> 00:10:46,933 in case it interferes with my career. 189 00:10:46,957 --> 00:10:48,517 We're just good friends. 190 00:10:48,541 --> 00:10:49,541 Good night. 191 00:11:02,999 --> 00:11:03,999 Miss Bardot, 192 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,291 marry me. 193 00:11:10,166 --> 00:11:13,225 You know what they say, once you've had a Manchester lad 194 00:11:13,249 --> 00:11:14,749 you never touch anything else. 195 00:11:15,582 --> 00:11:18,933 (supporters chanting) 196 00:11:18,957 --> 00:11:23,957 United, United, United, United. 197 00:11:29,791 --> 00:11:31,350 About time and all. 198 00:11:31,374 --> 00:11:32,183 Hi. 199 00:11:32,207 --> 00:11:33,017 - Hi. - Hi. 200 00:11:33,041 --> 00:11:34,041 Peace, man. 201 00:11:36,624 --> 00:11:38,308 Did you have a good time last night? 202 00:11:38,332 --> 00:11:39,142 Great. 203 00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,142 Did you? 204 00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:40,976 Satisfied. 205 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,374 I stayed in for a change. 206 00:11:44,457 --> 00:11:45,457 Did you get much? 207 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,017 Did you? 208 00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:52,433 (fans chattering) 209 00:11:52,457 --> 00:11:53,475 Did you know that raping Princess Anne 210 00:11:53,499 --> 00:11:54,666 was a capital offence? 211 00:11:55,499 --> 00:11:56,582 Not that I have done. 212 00:11:57,957 --> 00:12:00,017 Stayed in for a change instead. 213 00:12:00,041 --> 00:12:03,124 (turnstile clicking) 214 00:12:18,499 --> 00:12:20,558 Ticket, I haven't got me ticket. 215 00:12:20,582 --> 00:12:21,957 We're late already. 216 00:12:23,457 --> 00:12:25,350 See you behind the goal then. 217 00:12:25,374 --> 00:12:28,541 (supporters chanting) 218 00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:42,767 [Geoffrey Voiceover] Well, a night's beauty sleep's 219 00:12:42,791 --> 00:12:45,582 done nothing for her, snooty old bag. 220 00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:51,433 [Beryl Voiceover] Trendy, 221 00:12:51,457 --> 00:12:53,874 crimson shoes with bottle green socks. 222 00:12:54,791 --> 00:12:56,874 Must be going steady with a traffic light. 223 00:12:57,791 --> 00:13:00,041 Still, who else would have him? 224 00:13:00,957 --> 00:13:02,225 - [Geoffrey Voiceover] - Anyway, they're all the same 225 00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:04,124 in the dark, rumour has it. 226 00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:12,642 - [Beryl Voiceover] - Different girl every night. 227 00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:13,957 I know the type. 228 00:13:15,916 --> 00:13:16,726 [Geoffrey Voiceover] Probably an omen 229 00:13:16,750 --> 00:13:17,874 seeing her before the match. 230 00:13:18,749 --> 00:13:20,416 Bet we lose, three-one. 231 00:13:21,749 --> 00:13:22,643 [Beryl Voiceover] Well I'm certainly not 232 00:13:22,667 --> 00:13:24,017 making the first move. 233 00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:25,416 At least I've got my pride. 234 00:13:26,499 --> 00:13:27,499 Oh hello. 235 00:13:28,499 --> 00:13:30,017 Oh, hi. 236 00:13:30,041 --> 00:13:31,100 Hi. 237 00:13:31,124 --> 00:13:32,018 Didn't see you. 238 00:13:32,042 --> 00:13:33,892 No, nor me. 239 00:13:33,916 --> 00:13:35,517 Are you going that way? 240 00:13:35,541 --> 00:13:37,666 Yeah, not especially, no. 241 00:13:38,957 --> 00:13:40,308 Are you going there? 242 00:13:40,332 --> 00:13:43,267 Yeah, well, no. 243 00:13:43,291 --> 00:13:44,101 I was sort of... 244 00:13:44,125 --> 00:13:46,267 Going to the football match? 245 00:13:46,291 --> 00:13:47,100 Are you? 246 00:13:47,124 --> 00:13:48,100 Shopping. 247 00:13:48,124 --> 00:13:49,124 Oh. 248 00:13:54,332 --> 00:13:55,475 I'm probably going to the pictures tonight. 249 00:13:55,499 --> 00:13:56,475 I am. 250 00:13:56,499 --> 00:13:57,309 Which? 251 00:13:57,333 --> 00:13:58,725 Which are you? 252 00:13:58,749 --> 00:13:59,558 Any. 253 00:13:59,582 --> 00:14:00,582 I am. 254 00:14:07,207 --> 00:14:08,308 See you then. 255 00:14:08,332 --> 00:14:09,268 Tonight? 256 00:14:09,292 --> 00:14:10,433 Pardon? 257 00:14:10,457 --> 00:14:11,850 Oh, I... 258 00:14:11,874 --> 00:14:13,475 All right then. 259 00:14:13,499 --> 00:14:14,499 Right. 260 00:14:16,541 --> 00:14:19,124 (horn honking) 261 00:14:19,999 --> 00:14:21,332 Super socks. 262 00:14:25,207 --> 00:14:26,350 Did you see that? 263 00:14:26,374 --> 00:14:28,832 They're all on drugs, the lot of them (coughs). 264 00:14:29,749 --> 00:14:32,933 (crowd cheering) 265 00:14:32,957 --> 00:14:35,666 (crowd moaning) 266 00:14:46,374 --> 00:14:47,374 Any score? 267 00:14:48,041 --> 00:14:49,082 Losing, three-one. 268 00:14:52,582 --> 00:14:55,392 (diners murmuring) 269 00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:57,832 (soft music) 270 00:15:09,332 --> 00:15:10,517 Excuse me. 271 00:15:10,541 --> 00:15:12,957 (soft music) 272 00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:18,582 Excuse me, I... 273 00:15:22,666 --> 00:15:25,933 I only go to restaurants with deaf waiters. 274 00:15:25,957 --> 00:15:26,957 Ah. 275 00:15:29,541 --> 00:15:30,541 Hi. 276 00:15:31,624 --> 00:15:32,791 Hello, mate. 277 00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:34,767 Peace, man. 278 00:15:34,791 --> 00:15:35,933 Surprise, surprise. 279 00:15:35,957 --> 00:15:36,975 Surprise. 280 00:15:36,999 --> 00:15:38,225 Been anywhere controversial? 281 00:15:38,249 --> 00:15:40,558 Pictures, "The Boyfriend." 282 00:15:40,582 --> 00:15:42,725 - She's slim. - I'm just going to the um... 283 00:15:42,749 --> 00:15:43,957 Oh, I'll come with you. 284 00:15:47,082 --> 00:15:50,291 Are you and Beryl, you know? 285 00:15:51,791 --> 00:15:53,041 You know. 286 00:15:53,916 --> 00:15:54,893 Oh. 287 00:15:54,917 --> 00:15:57,332 (soft music) 288 00:16:00,166 --> 00:16:03,558 (diners murmuring) 289 00:16:03,582 --> 00:16:05,433 Would you, 290 00:16:05,457 --> 00:16:07,249 would you sort of reckon she's a 291 00:16:08,874 --> 00:16:11,707 fair sort of bird, sort of? 292 00:16:12,999 --> 00:16:13,999 She's all right. 293 00:16:16,124 --> 00:16:18,267 I mean nothing sensational, obviously. 294 00:16:18,291 --> 00:16:20,249 Geoffrey, she's a bird. 295 00:16:24,582 --> 00:16:25,518 You having a coffee with us? 296 00:16:25,542 --> 00:16:27,416 No thanks, kid, Neville's ravenous. 297 00:16:28,666 --> 00:16:30,332 You've just eaten. 298 00:16:31,374 --> 00:16:32,957 Oh of course, yeah, sorry. 299 00:16:35,957 --> 00:16:39,808 You see, what I think Caruso was trying to do... 300 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:40,832 By implication. 301 00:16:41,582 --> 00:16:43,392 Probably by implication 302 00:16:43,416 --> 00:16:45,725 was to allow the images to provoke a moral response 303 00:16:45,749 --> 00:16:47,475 from our own aesthetic judgement. 304 00:16:47,499 --> 00:16:48,600 You see? 305 00:16:48,624 --> 00:16:49,624 Yes. 306 00:16:51,332 --> 00:16:53,183 Was he the errand boy? 307 00:16:53,207 --> 00:16:54,225 Was who the errand boy? 308 00:16:54,249 --> 00:16:55,933 Ken-thingy. 309 00:16:55,957 --> 00:16:57,558 He directed it. 310 00:16:57,582 --> 00:16:58,624 Oh, yes. 311 00:17:00,249 --> 00:17:02,207 I was probably thinking of Andy Warhol. 312 00:17:03,082 --> 00:17:04,142 Probably. 313 00:17:04,166 --> 00:17:07,267 (soft music) 314 00:17:07,291 --> 00:17:11,041 You're not like other boys at all, are you? 315 00:17:12,041 --> 00:17:13,767 Well, I'm probably a little more mature, that's all. 316 00:17:13,791 --> 00:17:16,308 It's over 200 yards from the cinema, 317 00:17:16,332 --> 00:17:19,457 and you talked to me the whole way, like a person. 318 00:17:22,749 --> 00:17:25,725 Other boys seem to have one-track minds these days. 319 00:17:25,749 --> 00:17:26,558 Sex. 320 00:17:26,582 --> 00:17:27,582 Marriage. 321 00:17:28,541 --> 00:17:29,351 Pardon? 322 00:17:29,375 --> 00:17:32,100 The number of boys that asked me to marry them. 323 00:17:32,124 --> 00:17:35,433 A couple of dates and, pow, they want to get married. 324 00:17:35,457 --> 00:17:37,808 I want to live a bit before I get married. 325 00:17:37,832 --> 00:17:40,124 I suppose I just don't have a hangup about it. 326 00:17:41,457 --> 00:17:42,642 Getting married? 327 00:17:42,666 --> 00:17:44,267 Mm. 328 00:17:44,291 --> 00:17:47,582 No. 329 00:17:48,749 --> 00:17:51,291 Actually, I find girls, most girls that is, 330 00:17:53,291 --> 00:17:55,183 a bit obsessed these days. 331 00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:56,249 Not marriage? 332 00:17:57,082 --> 00:17:58,457 No, sex. 333 00:18:00,041 --> 00:18:01,041 Percy Filth? 334 00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:04,476 Sex. 335 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:05,541 That's what I said. 336 00:18:06,541 --> 00:18:07,975 Oh. 337 00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,249 Well I'm not like that. 338 00:18:10,207 --> 00:18:11,892 Not Percy Filth motivated? 339 00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:12,916 No. 340 00:18:14,457 --> 00:18:15,642 No. 341 00:18:15,666 --> 00:18:18,082 (soft music) 342 00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,707 Did you want to say any more about Andy Warhol? 343 00:18:29,749 --> 00:18:30,600 Ken Russell? 344 00:18:30,624 --> 00:18:31,624 Yeah. 345 00:18:32,499 --> 00:18:35,582 (clock bell tolling) 346 00:18:38,582 --> 00:18:39,582 This is it. 347 00:18:52,249 --> 00:18:55,058 I won't come in, with it being our first date. 348 00:18:55,082 --> 00:18:56,433 No. 349 00:18:56,457 --> 00:18:57,268 Oh. 350 00:18:57,292 --> 00:18:59,933 Anyway, me mum's gone to bed. We'd be on our own. 351 00:18:59,957 --> 00:19:02,642 Is that a reason for me not coming in then? 352 00:19:02,666 --> 00:19:03,957 Yes, Geoffrey. 353 00:19:13,457 --> 00:19:14,725 Nice house. 354 00:19:14,749 --> 00:19:15,749 Thank you. 355 00:19:17,207 --> 00:19:19,457 25-year mortgage. 356 00:19:23,499 --> 00:19:25,541 Well thanks for seeing me home. 357 00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:30,332 Funny, isn't it, first date with someone. 358 00:19:31,666 --> 00:19:33,916 It always leads to one of three things. 359 00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:38,082 Either nothing, or something, 360 00:19:40,874 --> 00:19:42,041 or everything. 361 00:19:43,832 --> 00:19:47,207 Don't think about Percy Filth at this stage, Beryl. 362 00:19:47,249 --> 00:19:49,350 I'm not. 363 00:19:49,374 --> 00:19:50,374 No, I'm not. 364 00:19:51,957 --> 00:19:53,499 Night-night, God bless. 365 00:19:56,332 --> 00:19:58,916 (key clicking) 366 00:20:01,541 --> 00:20:04,374 (traffic passing) 367 00:20:05,207 --> 00:20:06,267 I won't give you me phone number, 368 00:20:06,291 --> 00:20:09,142 in case you think I'm one of those scheming females. 369 00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:09,976 What is it? 370 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,332 327 double four 21. 371 00:20:12,166 --> 00:20:13,933 The easy way to remember it is, the three and the two 372 00:20:13,957 --> 00:20:15,957 make five, which is two less than seven, 373 00:20:15,999 --> 00:20:17,933 then two fours and half of four, which is two, 374 00:20:17,957 --> 00:20:19,933 and half of two, which is one. 375 00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:20,768 Um... 376 00:20:20,792 --> 00:20:22,308 But you mustn't ring me if you don't want. 377 00:20:22,332 --> 00:20:23,143 No. 378 00:20:23,167 --> 00:20:25,767 - But you can if you do. - Do you want me to? 379 00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:26,916 Not if you'd rather not. 380 00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:28,999 327, double four 21. 381 00:20:30,249 --> 00:20:31,249 Night. 382 00:20:37,582 --> 00:20:40,082 (light music) 383 00:21:00,249 --> 00:21:01,226 (gasping) 384 00:21:01,250 --> 00:21:03,017 Well hello, Mrs. Battersby, 385 00:21:03,041 --> 00:21:04,683 Beryl's brought you up a cup of tea. 386 00:21:04,707 --> 00:21:07,582 Oh me, all of me past life flashed before me then. 387 00:21:11,457 --> 00:21:14,124 Can't be Mother's Day. You'd have forgotten. 388 00:21:15,416 --> 00:21:17,058 Has there been an eclipse? 389 00:21:17,082 --> 00:21:20,457 Mum, I want the benefit of your experience. 390 00:21:22,291 --> 00:21:24,808 What do you think of Andy Warhol? 391 00:21:24,832 --> 00:21:27,767 See, Geoffrey has this theory that by implication... 392 00:21:27,791 --> 00:21:28,601 Who's Geoffrey? 393 00:21:28,625 --> 00:21:31,058 Of course, Geoffrey knows about these things. 394 00:21:31,082 --> 00:21:34,100 Ho, these things. Everything. 395 00:21:34,124 --> 00:21:35,267 Who's Geoffrey? 396 00:21:35,291 --> 00:21:37,725 He's fantastically intelligent. 397 00:21:37,749 --> 00:21:39,308 See, Geoffrey's idea... 398 00:21:39,332 --> 00:21:41,332 Beryl, who's Geoffrey? 399 00:21:42,832 --> 00:21:43,832 Oh no one. 400 00:21:48,457 --> 00:21:49,707 No one special. 401 00:21:53,707 --> 00:21:54,707 His name's Geoffrey. 402 00:21:59,624 --> 00:22:02,517 How'd this Beryl bird turn out last night then? 403 00:22:02,541 --> 00:22:03,600 What Beryl bird? 404 00:22:03,624 --> 00:22:04,892 I told him. 405 00:22:04,916 --> 00:22:07,582 Does she, uh, does she uh? 406 00:22:08,957 --> 00:22:09,957 What? 407 00:22:12,541 --> 00:22:13,541 Wow. 408 00:22:15,541 --> 00:22:16,541 She doesn't then. 409 00:22:17,457 --> 00:22:18,767 You don't listen, do you? 410 00:22:18,791 --> 00:22:19,600 I said... 411 00:22:19,624 --> 00:22:20,624 How about Sandra? 412 00:22:27,249 --> 00:22:28,142 Chips. 413 00:22:28,166 --> 00:22:29,166 Jammy sod. 414 00:22:34,791 --> 00:22:36,749 [Mother] Not seeing him tonight then? 415 00:22:38,041 --> 00:22:40,850 (laughing on television) 416 00:22:40,874 --> 00:22:41,874 Who? 417 00:22:45,624 --> 00:22:47,725 I have rather better things to do, thank you. 418 00:22:47,749 --> 00:22:51,166 (laughing on television) 419 00:22:55,999 --> 00:22:58,892 I said he was no one special. 420 00:22:58,916 --> 00:23:00,183 Have they got a phone here? 421 00:23:00,207 --> 00:23:01,475 (dart clattering) 422 00:23:01,499 --> 00:23:02,499 Why? 423 00:23:03,874 --> 00:23:05,124 They haven't, have they? 424 00:23:06,041 --> 00:23:08,683 Do you want to get some nookie lined up or something? 425 00:23:08,707 --> 00:23:11,350 If I did, do you think I'd be playing darts with you two? 426 00:23:11,374 --> 00:23:14,183 Look, are you fed up here? 427 00:23:14,207 --> 00:23:15,433 Are you? 428 00:23:15,457 --> 00:23:16,808 We'll split after this game. 429 00:23:16,832 --> 00:23:17,684 Anything you say. 430 00:23:17,708 --> 00:23:19,642 And go for a few at the King's Head. 431 00:23:19,666 --> 00:23:20,933 Great. 432 00:23:20,957 --> 00:23:21,768 (dart clattering) 433 00:23:21,792 --> 00:23:23,475 [Announcer] And that ends our pro... 434 00:23:23,499 --> 00:23:25,808 Well, Monday tomorrow. 435 00:23:25,832 --> 00:23:26,933 Hallelujah. 436 00:23:26,957 --> 00:23:28,350 Pardon? 437 00:23:28,374 --> 00:23:29,600 I don't know what you're paying for that phone, 438 00:23:29,624 --> 00:23:32,225 but whatever it is, you're being done. 439 00:23:32,249 --> 00:23:33,642 Good night. 440 00:23:33,666 --> 00:23:36,166 (light music) 441 00:23:46,124 --> 00:23:48,600 (horn beeping) 442 00:23:48,624 --> 00:23:51,124 (light music) 443 00:23:56,957 --> 00:23:59,874 (doorbell ringing) 444 00:24:00,957 --> 00:24:02,666 - Morning. - Morning. 445 00:24:10,749 --> 00:24:11,892 John for pope. 446 00:24:11,916 --> 00:24:13,350 Long may he reign. 447 00:24:13,374 --> 00:24:14,374 Amen. 448 00:24:15,582 --> 00:24:16,850 What's going on? 449 00:24:16,874 --> 00:24:18,558 The pound's up again. 450 00:24:18,582 --> 00:24:20,350 Oh, God. 451 00:24:20,374 --> 00:24:23,933 - Today's special. - Bloody travellers checks. 452 00:24:23,957 --> 00:24:24,809 Here you are. 453 00:24:24,833 --> 00:24:26,725 Suddenly, everyone's going on holiday. 454 00:24:26,749 --> 00:24:27,749 Except us. 455 00:24:28,624 --> 00:24:30,332 Enjoy yourself while you're young. 456 00:24:35,332 --> 00:24:37,916 (door closing) 457 00:24:46,457 --> 00:24:48,350 Why do we always to that? 458 00:24:48,374 --> 00:24:49,582 93 times a day? 459 00:24:51,166 --> 00:24:52,374 We never see anything. 460 00:24:59,041 --> 00:25:01,624 (door closing) 461 00:25:06,041 --> 00:25:07,600 (typewriter clattering) 462 00:25:07,624 --> 00:25:12,017 ♪ Early one morning as the sun was rising ♪ 463 00:25:12,041 --> 00:25:16,225 ♪ I heard the maiden singing in the valley below ♪ 464 00:25:16,249 --> 00:25:19,308 Is my typing not disturbing your singing, I hope? 465 00:25:19,332 --> 00:25:20,874 Seeing Geoffrey on Sunday? 466 00:25:23,166 --> 00:25:24,725 Oh Geoffrey. 467 00:25:24,749 --> 00:25:26,582 That Neville's the greatest. 468 00:25:30,332 --> 00:25:32,416 Is he dishy, or is he dishy? 469 00:25:35,291 --> 00:25:36,683 Neville promised he's going to take me to... 470 00:25:36,707 --> 00:25:39,808 I'm considering packing Geoffrey in. 471 00:25:39,832 --> 00:25:41,600 One date was enough. 472 00:25:41,624 --> 00:25:42,624 Why? 473 00:25:43,582 --> 00:25:45,392 He's Cancer, and I'm Libra. 474 00:25:45,416 --> 00:25:46,767 Is that bad? 475 00:25:46,791 --> 00:25:47,791 Hopeless. 476 00:25:49,499 --> 00:25:52,558 Actually, I'm slightly off the male gender at the moment. 477 00:25:52,582 --> 00:25:55,999 (typewriters clattering) 478 00:26:01,166 --> 00:26:04,457 Five, five, which is, which is... 479 00:26:05,332 --> 00:26:07,749 Three and two's five, which is two less than seven. 480 00:26:09,207 --> 00:26:10,207 Which is... 481 00:26:13,624 --> 00:26:15,100 I see the Spanish police are throwing 482 00:26:15,124 --> 00:26:16,624 your lot out of Ibiza. 483 00:26:17,666 --> 00:26:18,933 Bank clerks? 484 00:26:18,957 --> 00:26:20,433 Your lot. 485 00:26:20,457 --> 00:26:22,225 Football supporters? 486 00:26:22,249 --> 00:26:23,767 Hippies. 487 00:26:23,791 --> 00:26:25,541 Oh, my lot. 488 00:26:27,166 --> 00:26:27,976 [Operator] At the third stroke, 489 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,249 it will be 7:22 and 40 seconds. 490 00:26:32,791 --> 00:26:36,225 (phone dialling) 491 00:26:36,249 --> 00:26:41,058 It will be 7:22 and 50 seconds (beeps). 492 00:26:41,082 --> 00:26:42,999 That's it then, fate. 493 00:26:43,874 --> 00:26:45,957 All over by 7:23 precisely. 494 00:26:48,166 --> 00:26:49,166 So what? 495 00:26:50,041 --> 00:26:51,791 Plenty more where she came from. 496 00:26:52,957 --> 00:26:56,058 (phone ringing) 497 00:26:56,082 --> 00:26:57,767 Is that the speaking clock? 498 00:26:57,791 --> 00:26:59,308 [Beryl] Is that Geoffrey? 499 00:26:59,332 --> 00:27:00,558 Is that Beryl? 500 00:27:00,582 --> 00:27:01,725 [Beryl] Yes. 501 00:27:01,749 --> 00:27:02,808 Yes? 502 00:27:02,832 --> 00:27:05,433 [Beryl] Hi. 503 00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:06,268 Hi. 504 00:27:06,292 --> 00:27:09,291 (soft upbeat music) 505 00:27:24,291 --> 00:27:26,517 It's terrifically exciting, isn't it, 506 00:27:26,541 --> 00:27:28,142 getting to know a person? 507 00:27:28,166 --> 00:27:29,558 Fantastic. 508 00:27:29,582 --> 00:27:32,767 (soft upbeat music) 509 00:27:32,791 --> 00:27:36,058 I want to know all about you. 510 00:27:36,082 --> 00:27:39,267 That's what it's all about. 511 00:27:39,291 --> 00:27:42,392 For example, we have things in common already. 512 00:27:42,416 --> 00:27:43,499 Definitely. 513 00:27:45,416 --> 00:27:46,850 Like what? 514 00:27:46,874 --> 00:27:50,017 (soft upbeat music) 515 00:27:50,041 --> 00:27:53,058 We're enormously fond of animals. 516 00:27:53,082 --> 00:27:54,082 Right. 517 00:27:55,541 --> 00:27:57,207 And we're both from Manchester. 518 00:27:58,207 --> 00:28:00,683 (soft upbeat music) 519 00:28:00,707 --> 00:28:02,600 Have you ever been abroad? 520 00:28:02,624 --> 00:28:03,624 No. 521 00:28:04,707 --> 00:28:05,684 Have you? 522 00:28:05,708 --> 00:28:07,183 No. 523 00:28:07,207 --> 00:28:09,499 Unless you count Istanbul. 524 00:28:09,541 --> 00:28:10,434 Istan... 525 00:28:10,458 --> 00:28:12,267 Was it beyond belief? 526 00:28:12,291 --> 00:28:14,457 I don't know. I was only three. 527 00:28:19,999 --> 00:28:23,017 Do you ever get the feeling you've been somewhere before? 528 00:28:23,041 --> 00:28:24,267 Sometimes. 529 00:28:24,291 --> 00:28:25,291 I do. 530 00:28:26,749 --> 00:28:27,749 What, now? 531 00:28:29,707 --> 00:28:32,499 No, just sometimes. 532 00:28:35,457 --> 00:28:36,457 Yes, I do. 533 00:28:39,249 --> 00:28:41,082 Such a lot, isn't there? 534 00:28:42,374 --> 00:28:43,374 In getting to know. 535 00:28:44,249 --> 00:28:45,249 Mm. 536 00:28:49,791 --> 00:28:52,207 [Beryl Voiceover] He was lithe and easy-limbed. 537 00:28:52,249 --> 00:28:57,249 His stride quietly casual, his eyes clear and confident 538 00:28:57,499 --> 00:28:59,642 and his strong mouth ready to break 539 00:28:59,666 --> 00:29:03,082 into a relaxed, assured, lopsided grin. 540 00:29:07,457 --> 00:29:11,207 You know, Geoffrey, you have a really lopsided grin. 541 00:29:11,249 --> 00:29:13,332 Really, you know, lopsided. 542 00:29:15,957 --> 00:29:17,267 I don't think I have. 543 00:29:17,291 --> 00:29:18,999 It's in the eye of the beholder. 544 00:29:21,332 --> 00:29:22,332 See? 545 00:29:23,749 --> 00:29:27,142 Geoffrey doesn't need someone else when he's tying a knot. 546 00:29:27,166 --> 00:29:29,207 He holds it down with his little finger. 547 00:29:31,124 --> 00:29:32,916 Must be marvellous being a man. 548 00:29:34,249 --> 00:29:35,600 It's okay, I suppose. 549 00:29:35,624 --> 00:29:37,392 Men can do anything. 550 00:29:37,416 --> 00:29:40,808 Conquer Everest, do heart transplants. 551 00:29:40,832 --> 00:29:42,791 Become leader of the opposition. 552 00:29:44,249 --> 00:29:45,249 Anything. 553 00:29:49,791 --> 00:29:53,267 (birds chirping) 554 00:29:53,291 --> 00:29:55,332 Geoffrey, N-O spells no. 555 00:29:56,499 --> 00:29:58,558 It's good for your circulation, Beryl. 556 00:29:58,582 --> 00:30:00,642 Read any women's magazine. 557 00:30:00,666 --> 00:30:01,643 It's good for theirs too. 558 00:30:01,667 --> 00:30:04,374 I'm not sure they recommend Percy Filth on Tuesdays. 559 00:30:05,332 --> 00:30:07,475 I only see you on Tuesdays and Saturdays. 560 00:30:07,499 --> 00:30:08,541 Or Saturdays. 561 00:30:10,749 --> 00:30:15,433 Beryl. 562 00:30:15,457 --> 00:30:16,600 Oh, Beryl. 563 00:30:16,624 --> 00:30:18,683 Oh, Geoffrey Bubbles Bumble. 564 00:30:18,707 --> 00:30:20,100 Oh, Beryl. 565 00:30:20,124 --> 00:30:21,642 Oh, Geoffrey. 566 00:30:21,666 --> 00:30:23,308 Oh! Beryl. 567 00:30:23,332 --> 00:30:24,767 - Are you all right? - What exactly happened? 568 00:30:24,791 --> 00:30:26,350 Don't tell me. 569 00:30:26,374 --> 00:30:28,892 I just had a sharp attack of dramatic irony. 570 00:30:28,916 --> 00:30:29,916 Pardon? 571 00:30:34,541 --> 00:30:35,933 Come back. 572 00:30:35,957 --> 00:30:37,999 They're better, it's better. I'm okay. 573 00:30:39,666 --> 00:30:41,933 (thunder banging) 574 00:30:41,957 --> 00:30:43,933 I told you, it's going to pour. 575 00:30:43,957 --> 00:30:44,957 It's not. 576 00:30:45,957 --> 00:30:48,350 (rain falling) 577 00:30:48,374 --> 00:30:49,374 There. 578 00:30:51,957 --> 00:30:54,249 It's only the angels crying. 579 00:30:56,041 --> 00:30:57,207 I know how they feel. 580 00:30:58,416 --> 00:31:00,933 - Well don't blame me. - I haven't done anything. 581 00:31:00,957 --> 00:31:01,957 That's true. 582 00:31:03,332 --> 00:31:06,392 That's not true, Beryl. I have apologised. 583 00:31:06,416 --> 00:31:08,933 I keep going down on me knees when I'm talking to you. 584 00:31:08,957 --> 00:31:10,392 Independent observers thinking I'm training 585 00:31:10,416 --> 00:31:11,541 to be a Cossack dancer. 586 00:31:12,541 --> 00:31:14,892 It must be a bad line. I can't hear you. 587 00:31:14,916 --> 00:31:16,499 You better apologise again. 588 00:31:18,207 --> 00:31:19,291 I apologise again. 589 00:31:20,874 --> 00:31:22,582 Gosh, this lousy line. 590 00:31:23,957 --> 00:31:26,957 [Mother] How would Geoffrey like to come to tea on Sunday? 591 00:31:28,916 --> 00:31:30,142 Pardon? 592 00:31:30,166 --> 00:31:31,166 Pardon? 593 00:31:31,874 --> 00:31:34,183 Is that who I think it is? 594 00:31:34,207 --> 00:31:35,207 No, dear. 595 00:31:37,957 --> 00:31:40,707 (birds chirping) 596 00:31:46,291 --> 00:31:47,791 Well, isn't this nice? 597 00:31:51,291 --> 00:31:52,332 Sardine sandwich? 598 00:31:53,332 --> 00:31:54,267 Are they all sardine? 599 00:31:54,291 --> 00:31:55,291 Yeah. 600 00:31:56,124 --> 00:31:57,416 She got her own trawler? 601 00:32:03,916 --> 00:32:05,457 Isn't it awful? 602 00:32:05,499 --> 00:32:06,309 What? 603 00:32:06,333 --> 00:32:08,142 I was speaking to Geoffrey. 604 00:32:08,166 --> 00:32:11,475 What's happening in the world, I blame the politicians. 605 00:32:11,499 --> 00:32:12,393 What for? 606 00:32:12,417 --> 00:32:15,166 For what's happening. In the world. 607 00:32:16,166 --> 00:32:18,433 (birds chirping) 608 00:32:18,457 --> 00:32:19,457 Talk to her. 609 00:32:21,541 --> 00:32:22,874 I don't speak Portuguese. 610 00:32:23,874 --> 00:32:24,874 Tasty? 611 00:32:26,374 --> 00:32:28,017 They're in oil. 612 00:32:28,041 --> 00:32:30,707 That's enough. She's got a bad leg. 613 00:32:32,207 --> 00:32:34,267 The bread's extremely wholesome. 614 00:32:34,291 --> 00:32:35,767 I have this little baker down the road. 615 00:32:35,791 --> 00:32:37,499 He does something with the bleach. 616 00:32:40,499 --> 00:32:41,499 Yes. 617 00:32:47,541 --> 00:32:48,518 I can't do a lot of conversations 618 00:32:48,542 --> 00:32:50,142 about sardine sandwiches. 619 00:32:50,166 --> 00:32:51,166 My mind goes blank. 620 00:32:54,707 --> 00:32:57,041 I start thinking about life after death. 621 00:33:01,166 --> 00:33:03,933 Oh, that Neville, honestly. 622 00:33:03,957 --> 00:33:05,933 Number of hearts he musta broken. 623 00:33:05,957 --> 00:33:08,166 Every girl in Manchester nearly. 624 00:33:09,166 --> 00:33:12,416 Geoffrey definitely has, probably even more. 625 00:33:14,124 --> 00:33:15,124 Air hostesses, 626 00:33:16,499 --> 00:33:17,499 all sorts. 627 00:33:18,499 --> 00:33:19,975 Tell me about your terrible past, Geoffrey. 628 00:33:19,999 --> 00:33:21,624 I haven't had one yet. 629 00:33:22,707 --> 00:33:25,183 White man speak with forked tongue. 630 00:33:25,207 --> 00:33:27,624 Actually, I was hoping more for a terrible future. 631 00:33:30,916 --> 00:33:33,350 (sighing) 632 00:33:33,374 --> 00:33:36,808 Wow, is that the time, at this moment in time? 633 00:33:36,832 --> 00:33:37,726 What have I done? 634 00:33:37,750 --> 00:33:40,267 Is Neville the insanely jealous type? 635 00:33:40,291 --> 00:33:42,392 Not in the slightest. 636 00:33:42,416 --> 00:33:43,767 You're lucky. 637 00:33:43,791 --> 00:33:44,791 Why, is Geoffrey? 638 00:33:45,791 --> 00:33:47,225 Wow. 639 00:33:47,249 --> 00:33:49,683 You're not jealous of all my ex-flames, are you? 640 00:33:49,707 --> 00:33:52,308 Of course not, why should I be? 641 00:33:52,332 --> 00:33:54,957 Please stop interrogating me, Geoffrey. Forget it. 642 00:33:56,249 --> 00:33:57,666 That's all in the past. 643 00:33:59,166 --> 00:34:00,957 They're nothing to be jealous about. 644 00:34:03,791 --> 00:34:04,957 Who needs drama? 645 00:34:07,166 --> 00:34:08,392 So I shouted back at her, 646 00:34:08,416 --> 00:34:10,850 No shop assistant shouts at me, I shouted. 647 00:34:10,874 --> 00:34:13,249 And then Neville nearly belted me for swearing. 648 00:34:14,332 --> 00:34:18,142 He thumped you? Walloped you one? 649 00:34:18,166 --> 00:34:19,999 No. I said nearly. 650 00:34:23,541 --> 00:34:27,308 You'll never thump me, will you, like Neville does Sandra? 651 00:34:27,332 --> 00:34:28,374 She adores it. 652 00:34:29,624 --> 00:34:31,558 Of course not. 653 00:34:31,582 --> 00:34:32,582 No. 654 00:34:34,749 --> 00:34:37,392 Geoffrey, Percy Filth isn't the only thing in life. 655 00:34:37,416 --> 00:34:38,808 It isn't even one of the things in mine. 656 00:34:38,832 --> 00:34:40,392 You used to talk to me. 657 00:34:40,416 --> 00:34:41,957 All right, let's talk. 658 00:34:46,874 --> 00:34:48,975 Geoffrey, I've just had the most super idea. 659 00:34:48,999 --> 00:34:50,457 Why, is your mum going out? 660 00:34:51,541 --> 00:34:53,725 (Mother singing) 661 00:34:53,749 --> 00:34:55,374 May as well pack it in really. 662 00:34:57,457 --> 00:34:58,457 Why? 663 00:34:59,624 --> 00:35:00,559 Why not? 664 00:35:00,583 --> 00:35:03,225 (Mother singing) 665 00:35:03,249 --> 00:35:04,249 Good thinking. 666 00:35:10,624 --> 00:35:12,517 Thanks for a stimulating few weeks. 667 00:35:12,541 --> 00:35:14,350 You too, it was real... 668 00:35:14,374 --> 00:35:15,374 Psychedelic? 669 00:35:16,207 --> 00:35:17,642 You can keep me Grateful Dead LP. 670 00:35:17,666 --> 00:35:18,957 It was scratched anyway. 671 00:35:20,249 --> 00:35:21,683 It's been a gas. 672 00:35:21,707 --> 00:35:22,707 Groovy. 673 00:35:24,374 --> 00:35:25,683 I won't wave from the window. 674 00:35:25,707 --> 00:35:27,600 No, I won't look back anyway. 675 00:35:27,624 --> 00:35:29,183 Good. 676 00:35:29,207 --> 00:35:30,018 It's been a gas. 677 00:35:30,042 --> 00:35:31,207 You've said that once. 678 00:35:40,541 --> 00:35:41,850 You're well rid, Beryl. 679 00:35:41,874 --> 00:35:43,832 There's plenty more fish in the sea. 680 00:35:45,541 --> 00:35:48,041 About three very lonely sardines. 681 00:35:51,249 --> 00:35:53,582 Mother, please don't try raising one eyebrow at me. 682 00:35:53,624 --> 00:35:54,874 You know you can't do it. 683 00:35:56,582 --> 00:35:59,166 (upbeat music) 684 00:36:00,874 --> 00:36:03,225 [Beryl] You'll never thump me, will you, Geoffrey? 685 00:36:03,249 --> 00:36:04,892 Ow! 686 00:36:04,916 --> 00:36:07,600 [Geoffrey] Beryl, I've just had the most super idea. 687 00:36:07,624 --> 00:36:08,975 [Beryl] Are we going to Percy Filth? 688 00:36:08,999 --> 00:36:10,558 [Geoffrey] No, we're going to pack it in. 689 00:36:10,582 --> 00:36:12,975 [Beryl] Don't say that, please don't say that. 690 00:36:12,999 --> 00:36:13,999 That. 691 00:36:15,791 --> 00:36:16,892 Sandra? 692 00:36:16,916 --> 00:36:18,433 Sandra. 693 00:36:18,457 --> 00:36:20,183 Your Sandra? 694 00:36:20,207 --> 00:36:21,207 Mine. 695 00:36:23,457 --> 00:36:24,850 Two months? 696 00:36:24,874 --> 00:36:26,207 Two months, nine days. 697 00:36:28,874 --> 00:36:29,957 Is she positive? 698 00:36:29,999 --> 00:36:31,683 The test was. 699 00:36:31,707 --> 00:36:32,916 What are you gonna do? 700 00:36:34,041 --> 00:36:35,475 She'll think of something. 701 00:36:35,499 --> 00:36:38,082 Sandra, it's stupendous. 702 00:36:39,624 --> 00:36:42,058 Congratulations, I hope you'll both be very happy. 703 00:36:42,082 --> 00:36:43,166 Oh thanks, kid. 704 00:36:44,666 --> 00:36:46,541 Sandra, I don't know how you do it. 705 00:36:48,332 --> 00:36:49,332 Often. 706 00:36:55,582 --> 00:36:58,332 (engine humming) 707 00:37:28,707 --> 00:37:31,707 (soft upbeat music) 708 00:37:42,082 --> 00:37:43,392 John for pope? 709 00:37:43,416 --> 00:37:45,017 Long may he reign. 710 00:37:45,041 --> 00:37:47,541 (light music) 711 00:37:51,207 --> 00:37:52,600 Aren't you, uh? 712 00:37:52,624 --> 00:37:53,624 Yeah. 713 00:37:55,832 --> 00:37:57,100 And you're, uh? 714 00:37:57,124 --> 00:37:58,374 That's right. 715 00:37:59,582 --> 00:38:01,058 Going somewhere incredible? 716 00:38:01,082 --> 00:38:02,308 I'm meeting me parents. 717 00:38:02,332 --> 00:38:04,267 Taking them to see "Fiddler on the Roof." 718 00:38:04,291 --> 00:38:07,791 - That's pretty incredible. - Your Mummy and Daddy? 719 00:38:08,999 --> 00:38:12,082 Uh, hell, no, that's tomorrow. 720 00:38:13,416 --> 00:38:14,457 If I'm in the mood. 721 00:38:16,749 --> 00:38:17,749 Where are you off? 722 00:38:19,082 --> 00:38:20,457 Depends where you take me. 723 00:38:21,499 --> 00:38:24,332 (burlesque music) 724 00:38:31,249 --> 00:38:33,475 What I was saying about your friend with the glasses... 725 00:38:33,499 --> 00:38:34,309 Roland. 726 00:38:34,333 --> 00:38:37,142 Roland, is that I found him intellectually unaware 727 00:38:37,166 --> 00:38:39,850 and psychologically incredibly boring. 728 00:38:39,874 --> 00:38:41,166 He's not bad at snooker. 729 00:38:43,457 --> 00:38:45,207 And how are you and little Beryl? 730 00:38:46,791 --> 00:38:48,225 Didn't she tell you? 731 00:38:48,249 --> 00:38:50,183 I don't work there anymore. 732 00:38:50,207 --> 00:38:51,207 I packed her in. 733 00:38:53,249 --> 00:38:54,767 Good. 734 00:38:54,791 --> 00:38:57,541 (men catcalling) 735 00:38:58,832 --> 00:39:01,225 Does she turn you on? 736 00:39:01,249 --> 00:39:02,683 Beryl? 737 00:39:02,707 --> 00:39:03,707 Her. 738 00:39:06,207 --> 00:39:07,791 I hadn't really looked. 739 00:39:09,957 --> 00:39:11,541 You seen one, you seen them all. 740 00:39:13,582 --> 00:39:14,916 Not quite all. 741 00:39:15,957 --> 00:39:17,767 I'll go and get me coat. 742 00:39:17,791 --> 00:39:20,624 (burlesque music) 743 00:39:24,124 --> 00:39:25,957 Must be me birthday. 744 00:39:29,082 --> 00:39:31,291 Boys aren't the only thing in life, Beryl. 745 00:39:32,249 --> 00:39:34,207 I do wish you'd find one. 746 00:39:37,916 --> 00:39:39,916 They aren't all after Percy Filth. 747 00:39:41,041 --> 00:39:42,683 Yes they are. 748 00:39:42,707 --> 00:39:44,558 (moaning) 749 00:39:44,582 --> 00:39:47,058 Oh, you were terrific on the bus. 750 00:39:47,082 --> 00:39:48,183 Was I? 751 00:39:48,207 --> 00:39:49,892 (moaning) 752 00:39:49,916 --> 00:39:51,707 Terrific self-control. 753 00:39:53,707 --> 00:39:54,808 Joan of Arc never married, 754 00:39:54,832 --> 00:39:57,100 yet she led a fully and happy life. 755 00:39:57,124 --> 00:39:59,308 Or am I thinking of someone else? 756 00:39:59,332 --> 00:40:02,142 Mother, I don't happen to be interested in boys. 757 00:40:02,166 --> 00:40:04,142 I happen to be interested in having early nights 758 00:40:04,166 --> 00:40:06,642 and writing poetry in bed with me new felt-tip pen. 759 00:40:06,666 --> 00:40:09,332 It's run out of ink. I used it for my laundry list. 760 00:40:10,249 --> 00:40:13,933 My God, your generation's got a few things to answer for. 761 00:40:13,957 --> 00:40:16,267 (moaning) 762 00:40:16,291 --> 00:40:18,308 Please. Don't. 763 00:40:18,332 --> 00:40:22,433 Please, you can't ravish a girl on her own doorstep. 764 00:40:22,457 --> 00:40:24,183 (baby crying) 765 00:40:24,207 --> 00:40:25,374 Let's go inside then. 766 00:40:26,916 --> 00:40:28,582 Smooth-talking bastard. 767 00:40:32,832 --> 00:40:34,100 (door opening) 768 00:40:34,124 --> 00:40:35,791 It is me birthday. 769 00:40:36,916 --> 00:40:38,683 What about the boy with the freckles 770 00:40:38,707 --> 00:40:40,558 from Shakespeare Crescent? 771 00:40:40,582 --> 00:40:42,517 I don't believe that question. 772 00:40:42,541 --> 00:40:44,291 You used to be crazy about him. 773 00:40:45,541 --> 00:40:47,058 I was 11 years old. 774 00:40:47,082 --> 00:40:49,082 He used to let me choke on his tortoise. 775 00:41:20,082 --> 00:41:21,392 What's your name again? 776 00:41:21,416 --> 00:41:22,707 What's yours? 777 00:41:22,749 --> 00:41:23,643 Rock. 778 00:41:23,667 --> 00:41:25,082 That's not your real name. 779 00:41:26,457 --> 00:41:28,600 No, Steven. 780 00:41:28,624 --> 00:41:31,850 Ooh, God, that turns me on. 781 00:41:31,874 --> 00:41:34,041 (moaning) 782 00:41:38,207 --> 00:41:40,267 When I first met you in the street, 783 00:41:40,291 --> 00:41:43,457 I thought just a quiet drink and a chat. 784 00:41:43,499 --> 00:41:46,100 Shows you the art of conversation isn't dead. 785 00:41:46,124 --> 00:41:48,392 (moaning) 786 00:41:48,416 --> 00:41:49,892 Mm. 787 00:41:49,916 --> 00:41:54,082 Don't move a muscle, however gorgeous. 788 00:42:19,041 --> 00:42:19,975 (pants zipping) 789 00:42:19,999 --> 00:42:20,934 Testing. 790 00:42:20,958 --> 00:42:23,558 Oh, Geoffrey, many happy returns of the day. 791 00:42:23,582 --> 00:42:26,058 I wish you everything you've ever wished yourself. 792 00:42:26,082 --> 00:42:28,749 (pants zipping) 793 00:42:42,041 --> 00:42:43,832 I'm fed up. 794 00:42:45,624 --> 00:42:46,601 Who are you? 795 00:42:46,625 --> 00:42:47,791 Who are you? 796 00:42:49,499 --> 00:42:51,600 What are you fed up about? 797 00:42:51,624 --> 00:42:53,874 Teachers don't have to do homework. 798 00:42:54,749 --> 00:42:55,541 No. 799 00:42:55,582 --> 00:42:57,433 They just mark it. 800 00:42:57,457 --> 00:43:00,999 Anyone can mark it. They've got the answers. 801 00:43:05,166 --> 00:43:08,850 Do you know it's after two o'clock? 802 00:43:08,874 --> 00:43:10,291 What's he doing here then? 803 00:43:12,499 --> 00:43:15,666 Well, this is your uncle Steven. 804 00:43:16,832 --> 00:43:19,916 This is my revolting brother, Jeremy. 805 00:43:22,541 --> 00:43:23,933 How do you do? 806 00:43:23,957 --> 00:43:25,558 Do Mum and Dad know he's here? 807 00:43:25,582 --> 00:43:27,058 Jeremy, bed. 808 00:43:27,082 --> 00:43:29,017 I could always wake them up and tell them. 809 00:43:29,041 --> 00:43:33,624 Jeremy, little boys need sleep. 810 00:43:35,207 --> 00:43:37,225 Even big astronauts. 811 00:43:37,249 --> 00:43:39,166 Do you know where babies come from? 812 00:43:41,457 --> 00:43:42,457 Do you? 813 00:43:43,291 --> 00:43:44,225 Say no. 814 00:43:44,249 --> 00:43:45,058 No. 815 00:43:45,082 --> 00:43:45,934 I do. 816 00:43:45,958 --> 00:43:47,850 - Say yes. - [Jeremy] Shall I tell you? 817 00:43:47,874 --> 00:43:49,267 He knows. 818 00:43:49,291 --> 00:43:51,933 The man has this male organ and some blood cells 819 00:43:51,957 --> 00:43:55,017 and erectile glands, and there's these 500 billion 820 00:43:55,041 --> 00:43:58,683 spermatozoas in these testes that he has as well. 821 00:43:58,707 --> 00:44:01,183 And they go through his male organ into the female 822 00:44:01,207 --> 00:44:03,350 uterus that the lady has. 823 00:44:03,374 --> 00:44:04,933 Who told you that? 824 00:44:04,957 --> 00:44:07,308 Then they go through the fallopian tubes after that. 825 00:44:07,332 --> 00:44:09,975 One of them fertilises with a female egg. 826 00:44:09,999 --> 00:44:11,975 The others don't bother. 827 00:44:11,999 --> 00:44:13,850 Anyway, that's what you have to do. 828 00:44:13,874 --> 00:44:15,582 And then you have a baby. 829 00:44:17,249 --> 00:44:19,183 Did they teach you that at school? 830 00:44:19,207 --> 00:44:21,600 They were doing woodwork in the next class. 831 00:44:21,624 --> 00:44:24,975 People can only make babies at certain times of the year. 832 00:44:24,999 --> 00:44:28,725 But animals, like dogs and cats, and rats I think, 833 00:44:28,749 --> 00:44:30,041 do it all the time. 834 00:44:31,249 --> 00:44:33,725 No, um, 835 00:44:33,749 --> 00:44:35,850 that's people. 836 00:44:35,874 --> 00:44:36,874 What is? 837 00:44:38,582 --> 00:44:41,582 Well, people do it all the time. 838 00:44:44,499 --> 00:44:47,082 Whenever they feel like it. 839 00:44:50,957 --> 00:44:52,642 In the next class you can do metalwork 840 00:44:52,666 --> 00:44:54,124 if you don't like woodwork. 841 00:44:55,416 --> 00:44:56,874 Good night, Jeremy. 842 00:44:58,457 --> 00:45:00,142 25p? 843 00:45:00,166 --> 00:45:01,166 50. 844 00:45:02,624 --> 00:45:07,624 50. 845 00:45:13,082 --> 00:45:15,475 Good night, Uncle Steven. 846 00:45:15,499 --> 00:45:19,082 (door opening and closing) 847 00:45:30,124 --> 00:45:34,600 Would you care for a government health warning? 848 00:45:34,624 --> 00:45:36,100 [Father] Hey, Veronica. 849 00:45:36,124 --> 00:45:37,101 Yes. 850 00:45:37,125 --> 00:45:38,642 [Father] Who in the hell is Uncle Steven 851 00:45:38,666 --> 00:45:39,476 at 10 past two in the morning? 852 00:45:39,500 --> 00:45:42,582 A friend of Jeremy's. He's going now. 853 00:45:44,791 --> 00:45:45,791 Good night, Love. 854 00:45:48,749 --> 00:45:50,100 Look, we would have done that, wouldn't we? 855 00:45:50,124 --> 00:45:51,124 And how? 856 00:45:55,166 --> 00:45:56,642 You can't win them all, can you? 857 00:45:56,666 --> 00:45:59,791 Anyway, do you good going without for a change. 858 00:46:05,624 --> 00:46:07,475 Still, there's always another day. 859 00:46:07,499 --> 00:46:08,476 Tomorrow? 860 00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:10,350 No. 861 00:46:10,374 --> 00:46:11,392 Tomorrow's another day. 862 00:46:11,416 --> 00:46:15,808 Sh, sh. Not unless you happen to be in Plymouth. 863 00:46:15,832 --> 00:46:16,684 Where? 864 00:46:16,708 --> 00:46:19,041 I'm joining the WRENS for three years. 865 00:46:20,957 --> 00:46:22,392 What WRENS? 866 00:46:22,416 --> 00:46:24,416 The Royal Navy's WRENS. 867 00:46:26,582 --> 00:46:28,600 This time tomorrow, I'll be in barracks with about 50 868 00:46:28,624 --> 00:46:30,791 other girls and 30,000 sailors. 869 00:46:31,749 --> 00:46:32,749 Hope I like it. 870 00:46:36,707 --> 00:46:39,207 Well, thanks for nearly everything. 871 00:46:41,249 --> 00:46:42,975 We definitely would have done, wouldn't we? 872 00:46:42,999 --> 00:46:44,600 Well obviously. 873 00:46:44,624 --> 00:46:48,558 We as good as did, in a way, really. Almost. 874 00:46:48,582 --> 00:46:51,874 Just keep telling yourself and we will have, only better. 875 00:46:52,832 --> 00:46:54,249 Good night, Love. 876 00:46:55,416 --> 00:46:56,582 Ciao, Beryl. 877 00:47:03,791 --> 00:47:06,874 (fish tank bubbling) 878 00:47:17,749 --> 00:47:20,332 Morning, previous generation. 879 00:47:27,207 --> 00:47:28,249 What's for breakfast? 880 00:47:31,874 --> 00:47:33,850 You knew it was your mother's birthday. 881 00:47:33,874 --> 00:47:35,433 Now, what we would like to know is where were you 882 00:47:35,457 --> 00:47:37,642 when we were fiddling on the flaming roof? 883 00:47:37,666 --> 00:47:39,433 I'm sorry, Mum. 884 00:47:39,457 --> 00:47:41,767 I'll take you out another night. Something cropped up. 885 00:47:41,791 --> 00:47:42,791 Like what? 886 00:47:43,791 --> 00:47:45,749 Dad, you understand. 887 00:47:47,457 --> 00:47:48,457 I don't, Geoffrey. 888 00:47:49,707 --> 00:47:51,683 Well you always say you do. 889 00:47:51,707 --> 00:47:53,541 Geoffrey, you're at it every night. 890 00:47:54,541 --> 00:47:55,350 Yes, Dad. 891 00:47:55,374 --> 00:47:56,225 And we don't complain. 892 00:47:56,249 --> 00:47:57,101 No, Dad. 893 00:47:57,125 --> 00:47:59,100 But last night was different. 894 00:47:59,124 --> 00:48:00,582 I knew you'd understand. 895 00:48:01,457 --> 00:48:04,541 (light upbeat music) 896 00:48:30,249 --> 00:48:31,308 John for pope. 897 00:48:31,332 --> 00:48:32,142 Long may he reign. 898 00:48:32,166 --> 00:48:33,166 Amen. 899 00:48:33,957 --> 00:48:35,392 What's going on? 900 00:48:35,416 --> 00:48:36,725 Pound's down again. 901 00:48:36,749 --> 00:48:39,017 Opened down like a pair of knickers. 902 00:48:39,041 --> 00:48:40,041 You should know. 903 00:48:40,957 --> 00:48:41,957 Or me. 904 00:48:43,082 --> 00:48:44,082 Know what I mean? 905 00:48:45,166 --> 00:48:46,850 What a night. 906 00:48:46,874 --> 00:48:47,874 Wow. 907 00:48:48,582 --> 00:48:49,582 The lot. 908 00:48:50,874 --> 00:48:53,374 Including action replays in slow motion. 909 00:48:57,207 --> 00:48:59,558 Hey, lads, I picked up a bit of spare last night. 910 00:48:59,582 --> 00:49:00,393 Who didn't? 911 00:49:00,417 --> 00:49:01,457 No, it's true. 912 00:49:03,457 --> 00:49:05,100 Yes, Geoffrey. 913 00:49:05,124 --> 00:49:06,267 It is. 914 00:49:06,291 --> 00:49:07,558 Yes, Geoffrey. 915 00:49:07,582 --> 00:49:10,249 (keys punching) 916 00:49:12,541 --> 00:49:13,541 Bloody is. 917 00:49:16,457 --> 00:49:17,457 Poor Geoffrey. 918 00:49:17,499 --> 00:49:20,350 Beryl, please, it's Neville's engagement party as well. 919 00:49:20,374 --> 00:49:22,558 We had to invite him. 920 00:49:22,582 --> 00:49:24,666 He'll see me. It's cruel. 921 00:49:25,541 --> 00:49:26,808 He'll see other girls. 922 00:49:26,832 --> 00:49:29,249 I shan't take him back, Sandra. 923 00:49:30,874 --> 00:49:31,892 I shan't. 924 00:49:31,916 --> 00:49:34,707 It's been two weeks. He may have got over you by now. 925 00:49:36,416 --> 00:49:38,749 Don't know much about men, do you, love? 926 00:49:40,291 --> 00:49:43,457 (upbeat groovy music) 927 00:50:02,957 --> 00:50:05,142 [Beryl Voiceover] It was doing him a kindness, really, 928 00:50:05,166 --> 00:50:06,416 finally splitting up. 929 00:50:07,499 --> 00:50:09,291 He only had one ambition in life. 930 00:50:10,707 --> 00:50:12,332 Send my knickers to Oxfam. 931 00:50:16,957 --> 00:50:18,850 [Geoffrey Voiceover] Good job she hasn't joined the ranks. 932 00:50:18,874 --> 00:50:20,624 The entire Navy would go on strike. 933 00:50:21,832 --> 00:50:24,600 [Beryl Voiceover] I expect he's sorry now. 934 00:50:24,624 --> 00:50:27,124 I won't even consider taking him back if he isn't. 935 00:50:28,416 --> 00:50:30,725 [Geoffrey Voiceover] She might have changed, of course. 936 00:50:30,749 --> 00:50:33,933 If she has, I might let her be in an orgy now and again. 937 00:50:33,957 --> 00:50:36,642 [Beryl] He's got to accept we've finally split up. 938 00:50:36,666 --> 00:50:38,874 Otherwise, I definitely won't take him back. 939 00:50:42,707 --> 00:50:43,517 - [Geoffrey Voiceover] - Well I'm certainly not 940 00:50:43,541 --> 00:50:44,541 making the first move. 941 00:50:45,791 --> 00:50:47,166 At least I've got me pride. 942 00:50:48,332 --> 00:50:49,892 Hello, Beryl baby. 943 00:50:49,916 --> 00:50:50,975 Oh hi. 944 00:50:50,999 --> 00:50:52,058 Didn't see you. 945 00:50:52,082 --> 00:50:53,166 No, nor me. 946 00:50:54,749 --> 00:50:56,058 And how's Manchester City doing 947 00:50:56,082 --> 00:50:57,475 without me cheering them on then? 948 00:50:57,499 --> 00:50:59,582 United. We're winning every game now. 949 00:51:00,791 --> 00:51:01,791 Ah, good. 950 00:51:03,124 --> 00:51:05,142 And what's new with Geoffrey then? 951 00:51:05,166 --> 00:51:08,332 (upbeat groovy music) 952 00:51:10,624 --> 00:51:11,850 I asked you what was new with you. 953 00:51:11,874 --> 00:51:13,267 I answered you. 954 00:51:13,291 --> 00:51:16,808 (upbeat groovy music) 955 00:51:16,832 --> 00:51:17,643 Did you? 956 00:51:17,667 --> 00:51:18,707 Need I say more? 957 00:51:20,541 --> 00:51:21,351 Pardon? 958 00:51:21,375 --> 00:51:23,041 How's Beryl baby getting on then? 959 00:51:24,124 --> 00:51:25,558 Geoffrey, I'm not all that ecstatic 960 00:51:25,582 --> 00:51:28,183 about you calling me Beryl baby. 961 00:51:28,207 --> 00:51:29,892 It isn't like you. 962 00:51:29,916 --> 00:51:31,832 You can say that again, Beryl baby. 963 00:51:33,791 --> 00:51:35,249 What's your name, handsome? 964 00:51:37,166 --> 00:51:39,350 You'll laugh. Everybody laughs. 965 00:51:39,374 --> 00:51:40,791 It's the story of my life. 966 00:51:42,124 --> 00:51:43,707 You tell it like it is, chum. 967 00:51:44,791 --> 00:51:47,374 (upbeat music) 968 00:51:50,749 --> 00:51:52,124 She's putting on an act. 969 00:51:53,582 --> 00:51:55,166 What do you care? 970 00:51:56,291 --> 00:51:57,291 I don't. 971 00:51:58,916 --> 00:52:02,975 (dramatic music on television) 972 00:52:02,999 --> 00:52:05,124 Is she going to get into bed with him now? 973 00:52:06,624 --> 00:52:07,624 Probably. 974 00:52:09,874 --> 00:52:13,892 Geoffrey always looks half asleep these days. 975 00:52:13,916 --> 00:52:15,832 Well, it's very exhausting. 976 00:52:17,166 --> 00:52:19,517 What is? 977 00:52:19,541 --> 00:52:20,975 Working at a bank. 978 00:52:20,999 --> 00:52:22,058 Oh. 979 00:52:22,082 --> 00:52:25,249 (upbeat groovy music) 980 00:52:27,499 --> 00:52:29,600 Hi. Had this bad scene. 981 00:52:29,624 --> 00:52:31,832 This chick decided to split. 982 00:52:33,749 --> 00:52:37,291 So I cut out, man, like there's no tomorrow. 983 00:52:38,832 --> 00:52:42,374 This cat gets it together where he's at, man. 984 00:52:44,749 --> 00:52:46,457 Lots of beautiful bank, baby. 985 00:52:47,499 --> 00:52:49,416 So if you want a piece of the action, 986 00:52:50,582 --> 00:52:51,582 don't cool it. 987 00:52:53,457 --> 00:52:54,457 Dig? 988 00:52:56,416 --> 00:52:57,416 Hm? 989 00:52:58,332 --> 00:53:00,874 I'm sorry. I no understand English. 990 00:53:01,749 --> 00:53:05,166 (party-goers chattering) 991 00:53:07,124 --> 00:53:08,207 Gesundheit. 992 00:53:09,541 --> 00:53:12,499 I thought she'd only just been to bed with the other one. 993 00:53:13,832 --> 00:53:14,832 She has. 994 00:53:15,832 --> 00:53:17,767 And which is her husband? 995 00:53:17,791 --> 00:53:18,791 Neither. 996 00:53:23,124 --> 00:53:25,267 It's warming up, isn't it? 997 00:53:25,291 --> 00:53:28,291 (soft upbeat music) 998 00:53:31,916 --> 00:53:34,308 Great beat, isn't it? 999 00:53:34,332 --> 00:53:35,541 Great to dance to. 1000 00:53:40,499 --> 00:53:44,100 Do you agree that life's an onion? 1001 00:53:44,124 --> 00:53:44,957 Pardon? 1002 00:53:44,999 --> 00:53:46,207 If so, what's death? 1003 00:53:47,624 --> 00:53:48,624 Um. 1004 00:53:50,249 --> 00:53:51,249 A banana. 1005 00:53:52,957 --> 00:53:56,267 Yes, I expect it is when you think about it. 1006 00:53:56,291 --> 00:53:59,416 Have you read Schopenhauer's "Concept of Existence"? 1007 00:54:00,541 --> 00:54:01,541 Um. 1008 00:54:02,291 --> 00:54:03,291 No. 1009 00:54:03,957 --> 00:54:06,017 But I've seen the film. 1010 00:54:06,041 --> 00:54:07,041 Are you married? 1011 00:54:08,374 --> 00:54:09,392 No. 1012 00:54:09,416 --> 00:54:13,249 - Grab yourself an adage. - Marriage is a cabbage. 1013 00:54:14,166 --> 00:54:15,582 Are you a poet? 1014 00:54:16,624 --> 00:54:19,600 - Never ask the questions. - Ask the answers. 1015 00:54:19,624 --> 00:54:20,624 You are a poet. 1016 00:54:22,999 --> 00:54:24,874 To any manager marks expenses. 1017 00:54:26,124 --> 00:54:27,124 Ciao. 1018 00:54:28,582 --> 00:54:30,558 Arrivederci. 1019 00:54:30,582 --> 00:54:32,374 Now he's taking his clothes off. 1020 00:54:34,624 --> 00:54:35,874 What's on ITV? 1021 00:54:37,041 --> 00:54:38,041 This. 1022 00:54:38,874 --> 00:54:40,082 What's on BBC? 1023 00:54:43,499 --> 00:54:45,142 "Casanova." 1024 00:54:45,166 --> 00:54:46,166 What's that like? 1025 00:54:47,166 --> 00:54:48,166 This. 1026 00:54:49,791 --> 00:54:52,975 Come on now. You know that's not where it's at. 1027 00:54:52,999 --> 00:54:55,392 Let's get this word for word. 1028 00:54:55,416 --> 00:54:57,558 Let's get it clear. 1029 00:54:57,582 --> 00:55:00,874 Let's get down to the real nitty gritty's fill, okay? 1030 00:55:01,957 --> 00:55:04,541 (upbeat music) 1031 00:55:09,207 --> 00:55:14,207 Women's lib is not about burning bras. Papers, yeah. 1032 00:55:15,541 --> 00:55:16,541 What papers? 1033 00:55:17,499 --> 00:55:19,392 Marriage certificate, dog's licence, 1034 00:55:19,416 --> 00:55:21,600 whatever you prefer to call it. 1035 00:55:21,624 --> 00:55:23,600 Let's be basic about this, Enid. 1036 00:55:23,624 --> 00:55:26,142 All girls want marriage, and a baby. 1037 00:55:26,166 --> 00:55:29,517 Really basic. You want to be really basic? 1038 00:55:29,541 --> 00:55:30,933 Utterly basic. 1039 00:55:30,957 --> 00:55:31,957 Balls. 1040 00:55:33,082 --> 00:55:34,082 Grass? 1041 00:55:35,416 --> 00:55:39,975 Enid, when Sandra says every girl, she means most girls. 1042 00:55:39,999 --> 00:55:41,100 Like herself. 1043 00:55:41,124 --> 00:55:42,767 Not me, of course, because I incredibly 1044 00:55:42,791 --> 00:55:46,475 value my independence, but most girls definitely want... 1045 00:55:46,499 --> 00:55:47,499 Balls. 1046 00:55:48,249 --> 00:55:50,475 If you can't conduct an intelligent conversation 1047 00:55:50,499 --> 00:55:51,309 without recourse to... 1048 00:55:51,333 --> 00:55:52,933 I'm not recoursing to anything. 1049 00:55:52,957 --> 00:55:55,183 I'm merely telling you what girls want. 1050 00:55:55,207 --> 00:55:56,017 What? 1051 00:55:56,041 --> 00:55:56,851 Balls! 1052 00:55:56,875 --> 00:55:58,058 Whoa. 1053 00:55:58,082 --> 00:55:59,874 Would you please stop saying that? 1054 00:56:00,916 --> 00:56:01,726 You believe in free love, right? 1055 00:56:01,750 --> 00:56:04,350 Wrong, I believe in free everything. 1056 00:56:04,374 --> 00:56:07,517 Freedom from all male chauvinist pig domination. 1057 00:56:07,541 --> 00:56:09,350 Honestly, don't you understand? 1058 00:56:09,374 --> 00:56:10,808 Excuse me, you've got your hand on me. 1059 00:56:10,832 --> 00:56:12,642 Beryl, grass? 1060 00:56:12,666 --> 00:56:13,476 No thank you. 1061 00:56:13,500 --> 00:56:15,183 Excuse me, excuse me, you've got your hand on me. 1062 00:56:15,207 --> 00:56:16,267 No! 1063 00:56:16,291 --> 00:56:17,291 Oh! 1064 00:56:17,999 --> 00:56:20,308 Oh, sorry. Wow, man, sorry. 1065 00:56:20,332 --> 00:56:21,642 It's all right. 1066 00:56:21,666 --> 00:56:23,517 It's a pleasure. 1067 00:56:23,541 --> 00:56:24,476 Grass? 1068 00:56:24,500 --> 00:56:25,808 Geoffrey, you're not to. 1069 00:56:25,832 --> 00:56:27,017 Why not? 1070 00:56:27,041 --> 00:56:29,100 I said don't. You're not to smoke it. 1071 00:56:29,124 --> 00:56:32,374 (soft saxophone music) 1072 00:56:35,707 --> 00:56:38,541 (coughing) 1073 00:56:38,582 --> 00:56:40,100 Oh wow (laughs). 1074 00:56:40,124 --> 00:56:41,832 We're as liberated as you, Enid. 1075 00:56:42,707 --> 00:56:45,475 We have equal importance as individuals. 1076 00:56:45,499 --> 00:56:46,393 Neither of us is boss. 1077 00:56:46,417 --> 00:56:47,582 Just doesn't rise. 1078 00:56:49,041 --> 00:56:50,350 Go make some coffee, dear. 1079 00:56:50,374 --> 00:56:52,267 You see, what we believe is... 1080 00:56:52,291 --> 00:56:53,600 Now. 1081 00:56:53,624 --> 00:56:54,624 Right. 1082 00:56:56,041 --> 00:56:56,850 You see... 1083 00:56:56,874 --> 00:56:57,874 Well one. 1084 00:56:58,916 --> 00:57:02,124 I can see there's only one way to get through. 1085 00:57:05,582 --> 00:57:06,725 What are you doing? 1086 00:57:06,749 --> 00:57:08,166 Lighting everybody's fire. 1087 00:57:12,124 --> 00:57:13,124 Burn my bra. 1088 00:57:17,249 --> 00:57:19,725 Right, that's it, finished. 1089 00:57:19,749 --> 00:57:21,374 The end. Full stop. 1090 00:57:23,124 --> 00:57:24,350 We're finally split up. 1091 00:57:24,374 --> 00:57:27,416 Neville, Sandra wants you, I should imagine. 1092 00:57:29,374 --> 00:57:30,707 [Enid] Sad, isn't it? 1093 00:57:33,916 --> 00:57:34,916 Pathetic. 1094 00:57:38,499 --> 00:57:40,499 Well I can't follow plays these days. 1095 00:57:41,749 --> 00:57:44,517 It's just showing real life, that's all. 1096 00:57:44,541 --> 00:57:48,975 (violin music on television) 1097 00:57:48,999 --> 00:57:51,642 I once thought I'd found her. 1098 00:57:51,666 --> 00:57:52,666 The perfect girl. 1099 00:57:54,249 --> 00:57:55,808 Red hair. 1100 00:57:55,832 --> 00:57:56,832 Not too skinny. 1101 00:57:58,332 --> 00:57:59,707 Very gentle and shy. 1102 00:58:02,041 --> 00:58:03,666 Passionate when aroused. 1103 00:58:06,874 --> 00:58:09,725 She packed me in for picking me teeth with a matchstick. 1104 00:58:09,749 --> 00:58:11,082 You're very sweet, Roland. 1105 00:58:12,457 --> 00:58:14,166 I've always thought you were. 1106 00:58:17,332 --> 00:58:19,999 Did you know you very nearly have a lopsided grin? 1107 00:58:21,291 --> 00:58:22,475 It's just I'm a bit tired. 1108 00:58:22,499 --> 00:58:23,808 No, it's nice. 1109 00:58:23,832 --> 00:58:26,666 (saxophone music) 1110 00:58:45,832 --> 00:58:47,433 (dish clattering) 1111 00:58:47,457 --> 00:58:50,267 I don't think I've washed that one. 1112 00:58:50,291 --> 00:58:51,291 Oh, sorry. 1113 00:58:55,207 --> 00:58:56,018 Do you know... 1114 00:58:56,042 --> 00:58:57,602 What, Beryl? You can ask me anything. 1115 00:59:00,041 --> 00:59:02,308 Do you know where Geoffrey's got to? 1116 00:59:02,332 --> 00:59:04,892 (saxophone music) 1117 00:59:04,916 --> 00:59:06,933 He's upstairs, I think. 1118 00:59:06,957 --> 00:59:09,541 (upbeat music) 1119 00:59:12,166 --> 00:59:14,249 Is it true they dry on their own? 1120 00:59:15,749 --> 00:59:16,601 Usually. 1121 00:59:16,625 --> 00:59:19,207 (upbeat music) 1122 00:59:20,957 --> 00:59:21,957 Oh. 1123 00:59:22,791 --> 00:59:25,392 I hate to be any trouble, but I think I'm dying. 1124 00:59:25,416 --> 00:59:28,058 You'll be all right, honest. 1125 00:59:28,082 --> 00:59:29,933 She said I shouldn't smoke it. 1126 00:59:29,957 --> 00:59:31,267 Who? 1127 00:59:31,291 --> 00:59:32,291 She said. 1128 00:59:35,249 --> 00:59:36,249 Geoffrey? 1129 00:59:38,707 --> 00:59:39,933 Geoffrey? 1130 00:59:39,957 --> 00:59:42,767 (knocking on door) 1131 00:59:42,791 --> 00:59:45,308 (woman laughing) 1132 00:59:45,332 --> 00:59:46,332 Sorry. 1133 00:59:52,499 --> 00:59:53,874 Geoffrey? 1134 00:59:53,916 --> 00:59:57,267 (Geoffrey moaning) 1135 00:59:57,291 --> 00:59:59,475 [Enid] Move up a bit, Geoffrey. 1136 00:59:59,499 --> 01:00:00,541 With your legs. 1137 01:00:01,541 --> 01:00:02,666 That's better. 1138 01:00:05,916 --> 01:00:08,124 It's because it's your first time, isn't it? 1139 01:00:09,457 --> 01:00:11,624 (sobbing) 1140 01:00:13,874 --> 01:00:17,082 Call Dr. Weisberg on Crums Mill Road. 1141 01:00:21,041 --> 01:00:23,749 It wasn't marijuana, you know. 1142 01:00:26,832 --> 01:00:28,267 What was it then? 1143 01:00:28,291 --> 01:00:29,291 Grass. 1144 01:00:30,541 --> 01:00:32,207 Grass is marijuana. 1145 01:00:33,082 --> 01:00:34,666 This grass wasn't. 1146 01:00:36,291 --> 01:00:37,582 It was the real thing. 1147 01:00:39,416 --> 01:00:40,416 From the front lawn. 1148 01:00:46,541 --> 01:00:49,433 (door slamming) 1149 01:00:49,457 --> 01:00:51,207 Is that you, Beryl? 1150 01:00:55,416 --> 01:00:57,558 Had a nice time? 1151 01:00:57,582 --> 01:01:00,308 Even though it's three o'clock in the morning. 1152 01:01:00,332 --> 01:01:03,808 Not that I mind, if you've had a nice time. 1153 01:01:03,832 --> 01:01:05,457 Even though I've been in bed since 10 1154 01:01:05,499 --> 01:01:06,957 having a good night's worry. 1155 01:01:08,666 --> 01:01:10,225 Did you see Geoffrey? 1156 01:01:10,249 --> 01:01:11,850 (footsteps ascending) 1157 01:01:11,874 --> 01:01:13,017 (door slamming) 1158 01:01:13,041 --> 01:01:14,041 That's good. 1159 01:01:19,166 --> 01:01:21,582 (soft music) 1160 01:01:32,957 --> 01:01:37,433 Do you ever get the feeling you're trying too hard? 1161 01:01:37,457 --> 01:01:38,624 I didn't try at all. 1162 01:01:39,666 --> 01:01:41,183 Gave it a rest. 1163 01:01:41,207 --> 01:01:44,392 (soft music) 1164 01:01:44,416 --> 01:01:45,749 I'm right off birds. 1165 01:01:46,916 --> 01:01:47,916 - I am. - I am. 1166 01:01:49,874 --> 01:01:50,874 [Roland] For good. 1167 01:01:51,957 --> 01:01:53,767 [Geoffrey] Me too. 1168 01:01:53,791 --> 01:01:55,291 [Roland] And me. 1169 01:01:59,541 --> 01:02:04,541 (soft music and singing in foreign language) 1170 01:02:13,707 --> 01:02:16,142 Good morning. Your mother would like to know if you have 1171 01:02:16,166 --> 01:02:17,975 a reservation at this hotel. 1172 01:02:17,999 --> 01:02:19,142 Good night. 1173 01:02:19,166 --> 01:02:24,166 (soft music and singing in foreign language) 1174 01:02:27,416 --> 01:02:29,582 (sighing) 1175 01:03:04,416 --> 01:03:06,582 (moaning) 1176 01:03:08,832 --> 01:03:09,832 Beryl. 1177 01:03:10,791 --> 01:03:11,791 Beryl. 1178 01:03:16,332 --> 01:03:17,332 Geoffrey. 1179 01:03:19,457 --> 01:03:22,166 Can I rip your trousers off and have my way with you? 1180 01:03:23,374 --> 01:03:24,350 (door creaking) 1181 01:03:24,374 --> 01:03:25,374 Oh, Beryl. 1182 01:03:27,999 --> 01:03:29,582 Oh, Geoffrey. 1183 01:03:30,916 --> 01:03:31,957 Oh God. 1184 01:03:34,957 --> 01:03:39,457 (upbeat dramatic music on television) 1185 01:03:43,291 --> 01:03:45,308 - Hello. - I'm off. 1186 01:03:45,332 --> 01:03:48,600 Will you be requiring the room again, sir? 1187 01:03:48,624 --> 01:03:49,559 Because we're thinking of taking in bookies 1188 01:03:49,583 --> 01:03:51,166 for the next pop festival! 1189 01:03:52,207 --> 01:03:53,207 Bugger. 1190 01:03:55,332 --> 01:03:56,957 I don't know who he takes after. 1191 01:03:59,957 --> 01:04:02,624 (phone ringing) 1192 01:04:04,249 --> 01:04:05,433 Hello. 1193 01:04:05,457 --> 01:04:06,683 [Beryl] It's me. 1194 01:04:06,707 --> 01:04:07,518 Who? 1195 01:04:07,542 --> 01:04:09,600 My God, that's symbolic. 1196 01:04:09,624 --> 01:04:10,850 Oh, hello, Beryl. 1197 01:04:10,874 --> 01:04:12,225 I'm just ringing to tell you I never want 1198 01:04:12,249 --> 01:04:13,683 to see you again. 1199 01:04:13,707 --> 01:04:15,350 If you ever phone or call, please don't 1200 01:04:15,374 --> 01:04:16,558 because I shan't be in. 1201 01:04:16,582 --> 01:04:18,308 Tonight or any other night. 1202 01:04:18,332 --> 01:04:19,683 Anyway, tonight I'm helping me mum 1203 01:04:19,707 --> 01:04:20,999 at the school jumble sale. 1204 01:04:22,041 --> 01:04:24,457 (soft music) 1205 01:04:26,374 --> 01:04:29,541 (shoppers chattering) 1206 01:04:49,041 --> 01:04:50,041 Small world. 1207 01:04:53,291 --> 01:04:54,933 Good evening, Mrs. Battersby. 1208 01:04:54,957 --> 01:04:57,267 I was looking for a nice lampshade. 1209 01:04:57,291 --> 01:04:58,291 Oh? 1210 01:04:59,499 --> 01:05:00,499 Probably this one. 1211 01:05:01,374 --> 01:05:03,017 Definitely, magic in satin. 1212 01:05:03,041 --> 01:05:05,517 Oh certainly, Geoffrey. 1213 01:05:05,541 --> 01:05:07,916 Look who's here in his nice crimson shoes. 1214 01:05:11,457 --> 01:05:14,249 You'd like some nice fancy wrapping paper, wouldn't you? 1215 01:05:17,874 --> 01:05:19,350 I'm a child of the universe, Beryl. 1216 01:05:19,374 --> 01:05:20,351 I have a right to be here. 1217 01:05:20,375 --> 01:05:22,308 I'm afraid we don't sell marijuana on Sundays. 1218 01:05:22,332 --> 01:05:23,309 Try the co-op. 1219 01:05:23,333 --> 01:05:25,225 - Beryl, listen. - If you can smell burning, 1220 01:05:25,249 --> 01:05:26,558 it's just the vicar's been round burning his jockstrap. 1221 01:05:26,582 --> 01:05:27,559 - Beryl, listen. - Can I help you, madame? 1222 01:05:27,583 --> 01:05:30,100 Have you got that in another colour? 1223 01:05:30,124 --> 01:05:31,059 No, madame. 1224 01:05:31,083 --> 01:05:32,124 I'll leave it then. 1225 01:05:32,957 --> 01:05:36,124 (shoppers chattering) 1226 01:05:40,291 --> 01:05:42,874 Listen to what, for heaven sake? 1227 01:05:44,082 --> 01:05:45,392 Doesn't matter. 1228 01:05:45,416 --> 01:05:46,226 What doesn't? 1229 01:05:46,250 --> 01:05:47,517 You wouldn't anyway. 1230 01:05:47,541 --> 01:05:48,874 Wouldn't what? 1231 01:05:50,249 --> 01:05:52,767 Go to the match with me on Saturday. 1232 01:05:52,791 --> 01:05:55,058 Me? A football match? 1233 01:05:55,082 --> 01:05:57,332 With 40,000 skinheads and you? 1234 01:05:58,416 --> 01:05:59,416 Told you. 1235 01:06:00,791 --> 01:06:02,707 Who are they playing? 1236 01:06:06,874 --> 01:06:08,850 Huddersfield Town. 1237 01:06:08,874 --> 01:06:10,017 In the Cup. 1238 01:06:10,041 --> 01:06:12,457 I've always wanted to watch Huddersfield Town. 1239 01:06:16,707 --> 01:06:19,124 They're, they're fourth from the bottom. 1240 01:06:20,457 --> 01:06:21,457 Shows you. 1241 01:06:23,499 --> 01:06:26,142 Away from home, they've won three, 1242 01:06:26,166 --> 01:06:28,666 drawn five and lost 12. 1243 01:06:29,791 --> 01:06:30,832 Drawn five. 1244 01:06:34,499 --> 01:06:37,683 So what do you think? 1245 01:06:37,707 --> 01:06:40,041 I think I nearly love you. 1246 01:06:42,707 --> 01:06:45,624 (crowd chattering) 1247 01:06:50,499 --> 01:06:53,475 (whistle blowing) 1248 01:06:53,499 --> 01:06:56,416 (crowd chattering) 1249 01:07:03,041 --> 01:07:05,624 Never mind, it's only a game. 1250 01:07:06,916 --> 01:07:09,517 I thought you said you nearly loved me. 1251 01:07:09,541 --> 01:07:12,457 (crowd chattering) 1252 01:07:13,832 --> 01:07:15,499 Boo, ooh, get out. 1253 01:07:17,041 --> 01:07:19,975 I don't recall Grace Kelly enticing Prince Rainier 1254 01:07:19,999 --> 01:07:23,017 by going to watch United, I may be wrong. 1255 01:07:23,041 --> 01:07:24,058 Grace who? 1256 01:07:24,082 --> 01:07:26,433 We live in a permissive society, Beryl. 1257 01:07:26,457 --> 01:07:28,433 Read any colour supplement. 1258 01:07:28,457 --> 01:07:30,350 Mother, you're supposed to be my mother. 1259 01:07:30,374 --> 01:07:32,517 I am, love, and it wasn't through 1260 01:07:32,541 --> 01:07:34,475 going to football matches. 1261 01:07:34,499 --> 01:07:36,558 You are the same mother that makes me tug me skirt down 1262 01:07:36,582 --> 01:07:38,933 every time I stand up even if he's only on the phone? 1263 01:07:38,957 --> 01:07:43,957 Yes, well, boys are very sick, and I am your mother. 1264 01:07:44,166 --> 01:07:45,416 That's what I said. 1265 01:07:47,499 --> 01:07:50,832 I don't mean permissive permissive. 1266 01:07:52,582 --> 01:07:53,832 Romantic. 1267 01:07:55,291 --> 01:07:56,600 Pardon? 1268 01:07:56,624 --> 01:08:00,249 Kissing, cuddling, things of that nature. 1269 01:08:02,666 --> 01:08:03,767 Oh we do. 1270 01:08:03,791 --> 01:08:05,308 Do what? 1271 01:08:05,332 --> 01:08:06,642 What you just said. 1272 01:08:06,666 --> 01:08:07,892 Good. 1273 01:08:07,916 --> 01:08:09,183 Not too much, I hope. 1274 01:08:09,207 --> 01:08:10,683 Oh, God. 1275 01:08:10,707 --> 01:08:12,058 Boys are very funny. 1276 01:08:12,082 --> 01:08:13,957 They're novices compared to mothers. 1277 01:08:18,541 --> 01:08:20,433 Did I tell you that two new people have moved 1278 01:08:20,457 --> 01:08:23,475 into the house opposite with the green curtains? 1279 01:08:23,499 --> 01:08:24,499 Oh. 1280 01:08:27,291 --> 01:08:29,017 Two new people have moved into the house opposite 1281 01:08:29,041 --> 01:08:30,249 with the green curtains. 1282 01:08:32,207 --> 01:08:33,207 Fantastic. 1283 01:08:38,124 --> 01:08:39,124 The Cowgills. 1284 01:08:40,457 --> 01:08:41,832 Mr. and Mrs. Cowgill. 1285 01:08:42,916 --> 01:08:43,916 Married couple. 1286 01:08:45,124 --> 01:08:46,124 Newlyweds. 1287 01:08:46,874 --> 01:08:47,957 Not long married. 1288 01:08:49,249 --> 01:08:50,582 You'll go bald doing that. 1289 01:08:51,541 --> 01:08:52,541 Doing what? 1290 01:09:04,207 --> 01:09:06,392 Did I tell you 28 stockbrokers have moved 1291 01:09:06,416 --> 01:09:09,475 into the office opposite with the dirty curtains? 1292 01:09:09,499 --> 01:09:10,499 Living in sin. 1293 01:09:12,791 --> 01:09:15,225 Can you say one single sentence 1294 01:09:15,249 --> 01:09:16,832 without the word marriage in it? 1295 01:09:21,749 --> 01:09:23,892 If I said to you, do you think Cassius Clay 1296 01:09:23,916 --> 01:09:25,892 would have beaten Rocky Marciano, 1297 01:09:25,916 --> 01:09:26,933 would you say what's it matter 1298 01:09:26,957 --> 01:09:29,017 so? Long as they're happily married? 1299 01:09:29,041 --> 01:09:30,082 I don't think so. 1300 01:09:31,999 --> 01:09:32,999 Beryl would. 1301 01:09:34,332 --> 01:09:36,541 Giving you a bad time, is she? 1302 01:09:38,457 --> 01:09:40,207 I wouldn't say that. 1303 01:09:43,874 --> 01:09:46,183 I haven't even mentioned the word. 1304 01:09:46,207 --> 01:09:47,207 What word? 1305 01:09:47,916 --> 01:09:50,225 Goodness me, a single person can have a relationship 1306 01:09:50,249 --> 01:09:52,142 with another single person without everyone thinking 1307 01:09:52,166 --> 01:09:53,392 she's automatically out to... 1308 01:09:53,416 --> 01:09:54,393 I never said you were. 1309 01:09:54,417 --> 01:09:55,666 You think it. 1310 01:09:58,832 --> 01:10:01,666 (vehicle passing) 1311 01:10:09,499 --> 01:10:11,058 All right, Geoffrey, 1312 01:10:11,082 --> 01:10:13,457 I hereby promise never to utter the word again. 1313 01:10:15,916 --> 01:10:16,808 Marriage? 1314 01:10:16,832 --> 01:10:17,832 Never. 1315 01:10:19,207 --> 01:10:22,350 Well, until I am, if I ever do. 1316 01:10:22,374 --> 01:10:25,100 Which I fervently hope I never will. 1317 01:10:25,124 --> 01:10:26,308 For someone who's not uttering something, 1318 01:10:26,332 --> 01:10:28,558 when's your LP coming out? 1319 01:10:28,582 --> 01:10:31,308 (traffic passing) 1320 01:10:31,332 --> 01:10:33,017 [Beryl Voiceover] No two people have a divine right 1321 01:10:33,041 --> 01:10:34,957 to happiness, Geoffrey. 1322 01:10:34,999 --> 01:10:36,832 You mustn't feel guilty about me. 1323 01:10:38,166 --> 01:10:39,166 Sorry. 1324 01:10:40,874 --> 01:10:41,684 [Beryl Voiceover] No one can say you've 1325 01:10:41,708 --> 01:10:43,457 completely ruined me life. 1326 01:10:44,332 --> 01:10:45,332 Not yet. 1327 01:10:50,291 --> 01:10:52,058 What are you staring at? 1328 01:10:52,082 --> 01:10:54,999 (knocking on door) 1329 01:10:55,957 --> 01:10:56,767 Hello. 1330 01:10:56,791 --> 01:10:57,601 You all right, Son? 1331 01:10:57,625 --> 01:10:58,892 Terrific. 1332 01:10:58,916 --> 01:11:01,308 Why did you throw your sponge pudding at the cat then? 1333 01:11:01,332 --> 01:11:03,457 Your mother's theory is you're overworking. 1334 01:11:04,416 --> 01:11:05,226 Yeah. 1335 01:11:05,250 --> 01:11:08,475 My theory is you're overdoing it with some dolly bird. 1336 01:11:08,499 --> 01:11:09,309 Oh. 1337 01:11:09,333 --> 01:11:10,850 What's your theory? 1338 01:11:10,874 --> 01:11:12,392 Indigestion. 1339 01:11:12,416 --> 01:11:13,416 Oh. 1340 01:11:14,707 --> 01:11:15,957 What's yours, Sundance? 1341 01:11:17,999 --> 01:11:19,725 Hasn't he said anything at all? 1342 01:11:19,749 --> 01:11:20,933 He has said one thing. 1343 01:11:20,957 --> 01:11:21,934 Oh, what's that? 1344 01:11:21,958 --> 01:11:23,725 If God had meant sardines to be in oil 1345 01:11:23,749 --> 01:11:25,707 he'd have given them dipsticks, all right. 1346 01:11:27,749 --> 01:11:30,183 - [Man On Television] - Weeks, and months, drag by, 1347 01:11:30,207 --> 01:11:32,683 and with neither side willing to compromise, 1348 01:11:32,707 --> 01:11:34,166 we still have deadlock. 1349 01:11:35,124 --> 01:11:37,600 Her Majesty's government have consistently tried 1350 01:11:37,624 --> 01:11:39,433 to find a way out of this dilemma. 1351 01:11:39,457 --> 01:11:41,475 [Geoffrey Voiceover] Another wild night learning what. 1352 01:11:41,499 --> 01:11:42,725 N-O spells and how many of her 1353 01:11:42,749 --> 01:11:44,850 school pals are getting married. 1354 01:11:44,874 --> 01:11:46,166 And what N-O spells. 1355 01:11:47,041 --> 01:11:49,892 And what N-O spells, great. 1356 01:11:49,916 --> 01:11:52,517 I might as well go bald and open me own monastery. 1357 01:11:52,541 --> 01:11:55,142 [Man On Television] And so society, that's you and me, 1358 01:11:55,166 --> 01:11:57,791 says end this dispute. 1359 01:11:58,707 --> 01:11:59,957 End it now. 1360 01:12:00,791 --> 01:12:01,768 Good night. 1361 01:12:01,792 --> 01:12:03,267 Here here. 1362 01:12:03,291 --> 01:12:04,600 Good, weren't it? 1363 01:12:04,624 --> 01:12:07,291 Terrific, especially when he said good night. 1364 01:12:08,832 --> 01:12:10,933 We're just enjoying ourselves. 1365 01:12:10,957 --> 01:12:12,892 Having a good time. 1366 01:12:12,916 --> 01:12:13,725 Just having fun. 1367 01:12:13,749 --> 01:12:14,749 Being happy! 1368 01:12:16,416 --> 01:12:20,600 Take two a day, after meals, and one if you find yourself 1369 01:12:20,624 --> 01:12:22,350 crying hard again in the middle of a zebra crossing 1370 01:12:22,374 --> 01:12:23,624 for no reason at all. 1371 01:12:27,166 --> 01:12:29,957 You are sure this has nothing to do with a boyfriend? 1372 01:12:29,999 --> 01:12:31,082 Absolutely positive. 1373 01:12:32,832 --> 01:12:35,957 That was the first film we ever saw together. 1374 01:12:38,249 --> 01:12:40,082 Make that three a day after meals. 1375 01:12:42,249 --> 01:12:45,416 (church bell tolling) 1376 01:12:49,582 --> 01:12:51,100 - [Geoffrey Voiceover] - Look, Beryl, how's this 1377 01:12:51,124 --> 01:12:52,124 for a peace plan? 1378 01:12:52,957 --> 01:12:54,600 You join a marriage bureau, 1379 01:12:54,624 --> 01:12:56,308 and I'll get a job on the stage. 1380 01:12:56,332 --> 01:12:59,683 Twice nightly in Denmark. Then we'll both be happy. 1381 01:12:59,707 --> 01:13:01,957 Right? Right. 1382 01:13:01,999 --> 01:13:03,582 Jesus Christ Superstar, amen. 1383 01:13:05,916 --> 01:13:07,350 Oh, hell. 1384 01:13:07,374 --> 01:13:08,183 Pound's up again. 1385 01:13:08,207 --> 01:13:09,207 See you tomorrow. 1386 01:13:10,832 --> 01:13:13,058 Where do you think you're going? 1387 01:13:13,082 --> 01:13:15,666 (upbeat music) 1388 01:13:17,124 --> 01:13:18,933 Geoffrey, I'll get the sack. 1389 01:13:18,957 --> 01:13:20,308 It's important. 1390 01:13:20,332 --> 01:13:22,124 (upbeat music) 1391 01:13:22,166 --> 01:13:23,166 What is? 1392 01:13:24,832 --> 01:13:26,666 I keep asking you what is? 1393 01:13:28,082 --> 01:13:29,082 What is? 1394 01:13:30,957 --> 01:13:33,142 To be on our own. 1395 01:13:33,166 --> 01:13:34,725 What? 1396 01:13:34,749 --> 01:13:36,850 So's we can talk. 1397 01:13:36,874 --> 01:13:37,874 What? 1398 01:13:42,749 --> 01:13:45,624 I had a whole speech worked out on the bus this morning. 1399 01:13:47,207 --> 01:13:51,457 The only bit I can remember is, and that's what I think. 1400 01:13:51,499 --> 01:13:54,058 Last night I dreamt I was in goal for Manchester United 1401 01:13:54,082 --> 01:13:56,207 and Grace Kelly kicked nine goals past me. 1402 01:13:57,082 --> 01:13:57,893 Grace who? 1403 01:13:57,917 --> 01:14:01,082 She was playing for United as well. Weird, isn't it? 1404 01:14:02,499 --> 01:14:05,832 (traffic passing below) 1405 01:14:09,874 --> 01:14:10,874 The main thing is, 1406 01:14:12,624 --> 01:14:14,517 we do communicate. 1407 01:14:14,541 --> 01:14:15,541 Oh, we do. 1408 01:14:24,416 --> 01:14:26,850 - What basically I wanted... - See what I think... 1409 01:14:26,874 --> 01:14:27,684 Goon. 1410 01:14:27,708 --> 01:14:29,082 No, you, mine wasn't important. 1411 01:14:30,624 --> 01:14:31,642 Mine wasn't. 1412 01:14:31,666 --> 01:14:34,957 (traffic passing below) 1413 01:14:41,832 --> 01:14:42,832 Beryl? 1414 01:14:45,791 --> 01:14:46,791 Are you 1415 01:14:48,082 --> 01:14:49,350 happy? 1416 01:14:49,374 --> 01:14:50,374 Course. 1417 01:14:51,332 --> 01:14:52,332 Very. 1418 01:14:54,166 --> 01:14:55,457 I am. 1419 01:14:55,499 --> 01:14:58,249 No one is every second of every minute of every day. 1420 01:15:01,374 --> 01:15:02,374 No. 1421 01:15:03,749 --> 01:15:04,749 I'm not. 1422 01:15:08,416 --> 01:15:09,808 Do you think it's because we love 1423 01:15:09,832 --> 01:15:11,892 each other, do you think? 1424 01:15:11,916 --> 01:15:15,249 (traffic passing below) 1425 01:15:17,166 --> 01:15:18,350 Probably. 1426 01:15:18,374 --> 01:15:21,100 You've not actually said the words often. 1427 01:15:21,124 --> 01:15:23,308 Not in so many words. 1428 01:15:23,332 --> 01:15:25,124 Mostly in words to that effect. 1429 01:15:26,791 --> 01:15:30,041 (plane engine roaring) 1430 01:15:38,374 --> 01:15:40,457 Is there anything you don't love about me? 1431 01:15:42,416 --> 01:15:44,100 No, don't think so. 1432 01:15:44,124 --> 01:15:45,291 Honestly no? 1433 01:15:46,166 --> 01:15:46,933 Nothing. 1434 01:15:46,957 --> 01:15:47,809 - If there is... - There isn't. 1435 01:15:47,833 --> 01:15:49,183 You just tell me, and I'll stop doing it. 1436 01:15:49,207 --> 01:15:51,558 There isn't anything, honest. 1437 01:15:51,582 --> 01:15:52,582 Good. 1438 01:15:54,749 --> 01:15:56,517 It wouldn't upset me, it would just make me 1439 01:15:56,541 --> 01:15:58,666 a better human being to deserve your love. 1440 01:16:03,916 --> 01:16:05,374 Like, you know, 1441 01:16:06,416 --> 01:16:08,374 crimson shoes and bottle green socks. 1442 01:16:10,957 --> 01:16:11,893 You don't wear crimson shoes 1443 01:16:11,917 --> 01:16:13,600 and bottle green socks, Beryl. 1444 01:16:13,624 --> 01:16:16,332 If I did, I'd stop, to please you. 1445 01:16:20,457 --> 01:16:21,457 I see. 1446 01:16:25,374 --> 01:16:27,850 No need to be sensitive, Geoffrey. 1447 01:16:27,874 --> 01:16:29,725 In a meaningful relationship, you must like 1448 01:16:29,749 --> 01:16:31,416 even what you don't. 1449 01:16:33,457 --> 01:16:34,475 Your mother. 1450 01:16:34,499 --> 01:16:35,308 Pardon? 1451 01:16:35,332 --> 01:16:36,142 I like your mother. 1452 01:16:36,166 --> 01:16:37,059 Please don't sulk, Geoffrey. 1453 01:16:37,083 --> 01:16:38,225 And her lampshades. 1454 01:16:38,249 --> 01:16:40,999 Sulking isn't the most endearing quality in a person. 1455 01:16:42,541 --> 01:16:45,683 Well you ought to know. You've almost made it an art form. 1456 01:16:45,707 --> 01:16:46,975 Anything else at random? 1457 01:16:46,999 --> 01:16:48,767 You got 24 hours to spare? 1458 01:16:48,791 --> 01:16:51,267 After all, I'm no Brigitte Bardot. 1459 01:16:51,291 --> 01:16:52,600 According to reliable sources 1460 01:16:52,624 --> 01:16:54,933 in San Tropez, she's 105 next birthday. 1461 01:16:54,957 --> 01:16:57,308 Over 98% of the male population of Manchester 1462 01:16:57,332 --> 01:16:58,517 and Salisbury can tell the difference 1463 01:16:58,541 --> 01:17:00,767 between Brigitte Bardot and Beryl Battersby. 1464 01:17:00,791 --> 01:17:03,892 Ask any opinion poll. I'm much fatter, for a start. 1465 01:17:03,916 --> 01:17:05,475 You're not all that fat, Beryl. 1466 01:17:05,499 --> 01:17:06,309 I am. 1467 01:17:06,333 --> 01:17:07,433 Start slimming. 1468 01:17:07,457 --> 01:17:08,957 Men like something to get hold of. 1469 01:17:08,999 --> 01:17:10,933 If they're allowed to get hold of it. 1470 01:17:10,957 --> 01:17:13,350 You always succeed in getting back to Percy Filth 1471 01:17:13,374 --> 01:17:14,892 in the end, don't you, always? 1472 01:17:14,916 --> 01:17:16,142 No, I don't, Beryl. 1473 01:17:16,166 --> 01:17:18,058 You do. I always fail. 1474 01:17:18,082 --> 01:17:20,392 Do you know what some girls find extremely likeable? 1475 01:17:20,416 --> 01:17:21,957 The extremely likeable way some boys 1476 01:17:21,999 --> 01:17:23,683 stare at every girl they see. 1477 01:17:23,707 --> 01:17:26,600 Boys like it when girls tell them what N-O spells, 1478 01:17:26,624 --> 01:17:29,374 especially for the 600th time, that they really dig. 1479 01:17:30,249 --> 01:17:31,642 You never say dig. 1480 01:17:31,666 --> 01:17:32,666 I did then. 1481 01:17:33,749 --> 01:17:36,725 You're passionate, unrequited love for 11 boring men 1482 01:17:36,749 --> 01:17:39,166 kicking a ball about, that's really lovable. 1483 01:17:40,041 --> 01:17:41,666 I never knew you thought that. 1484 01:17:42,541 --> 01:17:44,142 Neither did I. 1485 01:17:44,166 --> 01:17:45,892 I do now, though. 1486 01:17:45,916 --> 01:17:49,249 (traffic passing below) 1487 01:17:54,332 --> 01:17:56,041 I used to say dig before I met you. 1488 01:17:58,791 --> 01:18:01,332 Used to say all sorts of things. 1489 01:18:05,791 --> 01:18:07,832 There's a lot about me I can't even remember. 1490 01:18:09,207 --> 01:18:12,541 (traffic passing below) 1491 01:18:29,541 --> 01:18:31,332 Thinking what I'm thinking? 1492 01:18:34,166 --> 01:18:35,166 I think so. 1493 01:18:35,999 --> 01:18:37,582 We just don't like each other. 1494 01:18:38,957 --> 01:18:40,058 That's all. 1495 01:18:40,082 --> 01:18:43,249 (soft clarinet music) 1496 01:18:51,624 --> 01:18:53,933 Well goodbye then. 1497 01:18:53,957 --> 01:18:54,957 Good luck. 1498 01:18:55,749 --> 01:18:56,749 Peace, man. 1499 01:19:00,291 --> 01:19:01,268 St. John's Square. 1500 01:19:01,292 --> 01:19:02,707 St. John's Square, please. 1501 01:19:03,624 --> 01:19:06,041 (soft music) 1502 01:19:13,291 --> 01:19:17,392 So that just leaves a cot, two matinee coats, 1503 01:19:17,416 --> 01:19:21,499 two rumpus suits, and what else do I need? 1504 01:19:22,957 --> 01:19:23,809 Oh yes, a ring. 1505 01:19:23,833 --> 01:19:25,249 A teething ring? 1506 01:19:26,416 --> 01:19:27,558 Wedding ring. 1507 01:19:27,582 --> 01:19:29,183 Of course. 1508 01:19:29,207 --> 01:19:32,517 Oh, there are gorgeous prems in the shops these days. 1509 01:19:32,541 --> 01:19:34,124 No wonder everyone's at it. 1510 01:19:34,957 --> 01:19:36,332 Oh sorry. 1511 01:19:37,332 --> 01:19:38,475 What about? 1512 01:19:38,499 --> 01:19:39,499 Skip it. 1513 01:19:40,707 --> 01:19:43,892 [Beryl Voiceover] About time too, which is sympathy. 1514 01:19:43,916 --> 01:19:47,142 Not that I need any. I never been as happy in me life. 1515 01:19:47,166 --> 01:19:49,225 She doesn't know that. 1516 01:19:49,249 --> 01:19:51,892 If I'm looking miserable, Sandra, 1517 01:19:51,916 --> 01:19:54,017 it's because I'm feeling happy for you. 1518 01:19:54,041 --> 01:19:55,041 Yeah. 1519 01:19:58,249 --> 01:19:59,808 We know what you must be thinking. 1520 01:19:59,832 --> 01:20:01,100 Of course we do. 1521 01:20:01,124 --> 01:20:04,582 I've got to pop the pink one in without going off. 1522 01:20:06,166 --> 01:20:08,933 (balls colliding) 1523 01:20:08,957 --> 01:20:09,957 Ace”? 1524 01:20:11,332 --> 01:20:14,725 She used to wear pink, you know. I won't tell you where. 1525 01:20:14,749 --> 01:20:17,082 (chuckling) 1526 01:20:17,957 --> 01:20:20,582 A hell of a lot more where hers came from. Wow. 1527 01:20:22,541 --> 01:20:25,058 (balls colliding) 1528 01:20:25,082 --> 01:20:27,100 Did you want the chalk, Geoffrey? 1529 01:20:27,124 --> 01:20:28,207 N-O spells no. 1530 01:20:30,416 --> 01:20:31,957 [Beryl] Super day for it. 1531 01:20:33,041 --> 01:20:35,457 Shouldn't be inside a day like this. 1532 01:20:36,874 --> 01:20:39,725 Well, Sandra, this is it. 1533 01:20:39,749 --> 01:20:40,933 Yep. 1534 01:20:40,957 --> 01:20:42,142 The big day. 1535 01:20:42,166 --> 01:20:42,976 Yep. 1536 01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:44,683 Going to the crunch. 1537 01:20:44,707 --> 01:20:45,707 Crunch? 1538 01:20:46,957 --> 01:20:48,350 I daresay it'll hardly break me heart 1539 01:20:48,374 --> 01:20:50,082 in the slightest seeing him again. 1540 01:20:51,374 --> 01:20:52,683 You mustn't think I'll be crying inside, 1541 01:20:52,707 --> 01:20:54,457 because I most definitely won't be. 1542 01:20:55,499 --> 01:20:58,142 And what's more no one will know that I am. 1543 01:20:58,166 --> 01:20:59,166 Because I shan't. 1544 01:20:59,999 --> 01:21:00,999 Truly. 1545 01:21:02,791 --> 01:21:05,767 Sandra, please, you have enough to think of. 1546 01:21:05,791 --> 01:21:09,058 (church bells ringing) 1547 01:21:09,082 --> 01:21:11,624 It's a big day for you as well, really, isn't it? 1548 01:21:11,666 --> 01:21:14,642 (church bells ringing) 1549 01:21:14,666 --> 01:21:16,392 (camera snapping) 1550 01:21:16,416 --> 01:21:18,791 And now one of the bride and groom on their own. 1551 01:21:19,666 --> 01:21:21,600 Do you mind stepping back, sir? 1552 01:21:21,624 --> 01:21:22,517 Fine. 1553 01:21:22,541 --> 01:21:23,475 Is this far enough. 1554 01:21:23,499 --> 01:21:24,308 Here? 1555 01:21:24,332 --> 01:21:25,332 About there, lovely. 1556 01:21:26,124 --> 01:21:27,975 You can kiss the bride on this one, sir. 1557 01:21:27,999 --> 01:21:30,975 Wow, official permission to actually kiss her. 1558 01:21:30,999 --> 01:21:31,999 Whew. 1559 01:21:33,124 --> 01:21:34,350 Ow! 1560 01:21:34,374 --> 01:21:35,374 Oh, sorry. 1561 01:21:36,291 --> 01:21:38,249 [Photographer] That's right, hold it. 1562 01:21:39,082 --> 01:21:40,183 Lovely, thank you. 1563 01:21:40,207 --> 01:21:43,933 All right now, a nice family group, please. 1564 01:21:43,957 --> 01:21:47,249 Funny, I remember the Friday lunchtime they first met. 1565 01:21:48,957 --> 01:21:49,957 How have you been? 1566 01:21:50,832 --> 01:21:53,517 Absolutely great. You? 1567 01:21:53,541 --> 01:21:56,041 Never better, ever. 1568 01:21:57,624 --> 01:22:00,499 It's all over now, bar the salmon salad. 1569 01:22:02,499 --> 01:22:03,749 It's tuna fish. 1570 01:22:04,874 --> 01:22:06,308 Looks like. 1571 01:22:06,332 --> 01:22:09,249 (group chattering) 1572 01:22:12,832 --> 01:22:14,791 See President Nixon went to China, no? 1573 01:22:15,707 --> 01:22:17,808 That was before we ever met. 1574 01:22:17,832 --> 01:22:19,017 [Geoffrey] I know. 1575 01:22:19,041 --> 01:22:21,267 [Beryl] Why, something happened about it? 1576 01:22:21,291 --> 01:22:22,101 [Geoffrey] No. 1577 01:22:22,125 --> 01:22:24,725 Could I trouble you for the salad cream please? 1578 01:22:24,749 --> 01:22:25,749 Oh. 1579 01:22:27,707 --> 01:22:29,683 Speaking personally, I think there are enough problems 1580 01:22:29,707 --> 01:22:33,392 to sort out on Earth to solve without going to the moon. 1581 01:22:33,416 --> 01:22:34,892 Nixon? 1582 01:22:34,916 --> 01:22:36,808 What, is he going? 1583 01:22:36,832 --> 01:22:37,832 No. 1584 01:22:38,541 --> 01:22:39,642 The astronauts. 1585 01:22:39,666 --> 01:22:40,666 Oh. 1586 01:22:41,416 --> 01:22:43,916 It's the wives and sweethearts I feel sorry for. 1587 01:22:46,416 --> 01:22:50,707 We never really talked, did we, about things that matter. 1588 01:22:50,749 --> 01:22:51,684 Good, isn't it? 1589 01:22:51,708 --> 01:22:53,308 Shows we're friends. 1590 01:22:53,332 --> 01:22:55,933 Now that we know we don't like each other. 1591 01:22:55,957 --> 01:22:58,642 Everybody thinks we're broken-hearted. 1592 01:22:58,666 --> 01:23:01,725 I know. 1593 01:23:01,749 --> 01:23:03,933 We've really grown up, haven't we? 1594 01:23:03,957 --> 01:23:05,767 Me mother's convinced herself we split up 1595 01:23:05,791 --> 01:23:07,808 because we had too much Percy Filth. 1596 01:23:07,832 --> 01:23:09,600 I'm right off it myself. 1597 01:23:09,624 --> 01:23:10,808 I've been able to walk off urges 1598 01:23:10,832 --> 01:23:12,725 perfectly normally for the past few weeks. 1599 01:23:12,749 --> 01:23:16,183 Aw, I expected it's only temporary. 1600 01:23:16,207 --> 01:23:18,642 I hope not. It's marvellous. 1601 01:23:18,666 --> 01:23:19,933 Good. 1602 01:23:19,957 --> 01:23:22,225 I don't fancy you in the slightest now. 1603 01:23:22,249 --> 01:23:23,249 Thank you, love. 1604 01:23:26,957 --> 01:23:28,499 Still off the food, I notice. 1605 01:23:32,916 --> 01:23:35,642 And we've learned a fantastic amount for the future. 1606 01:23:35,666 --> 01:23:36,559 Fantastic. 1607 01:23:36,583 --> 01:23:39,433 For example, say I finally did marry someone like you, 1608 01:23:39,457 --> 01:23:41,183 only someone I love. 1609 01:23:41,207 --> 01:23:42,683 I bet I'd now let him wear crimson shoes 1610 01:23:42,707 --> 01:23:44,457 and bottle green socks every night. 1611 01:23:46,791 --> 01:23:47,791 In bed I bet. 1612 01:23:51,457 --> 01:23:53,100 And you'll probably meet some little fatty 1613 01:23:53,124 --> 01:23:54,892 who's never even heard of Kenny Warhol 1614 01:23:54,916 --> 01:23:56,791 and marry her three days later. 1615 01:23:59,457 --> 01:24:01,916 We probably won't see each other at all, now we're pals. 1616 01:24:02,791 --> 01:24:04,517 I expect you're going to the match this afternoon. 1617 01:24:04,541 --> 01:24:05,850 Oh yeah. 1618 01:24:05,874 --> 01:24:08,267 I'm helping Sandra pack a going-away case. 1619 01:24:08,291 --> 01:24:09,267 Where's she going? 1620 01:24:09,291 --> 01:24:10,291 Hospital. 1621 01:24:13,457 --> 01:24:16,791 Well, we'll bump into each other sometime. 1622 01:24:19,416 --> 01:24:22,332 (crowd applauding) 1623 01:24:31,291 --> 01:24:33,707 (soft music) 1624 01:24:42,249 --> 01:24:45,166 (crowd applauding) 1625 01:24:54,207 --> 01:24:56,850 (phone beeping) 1626 01:24:56,874 --> 01:24:58,874 Hello, Mrs. Battersby. 1627 01:24:59,957 --> 01:25:01,642 You won't remember me. 1628 01:25:01,666 --> 01:25:03,707 [Beryl's Mum] Good afternoon, Geoffrey. 1629 01:25:04,624 --> 01:25:07,183 Oh, is, uh, 1630 01:25:07,207 --> 01:25:08,767 is Beryl there please? 1631 01:25:08,791 --> 01:25:10,711 [Beryl's Mum] She's gone to the football match. 1632 01:25:12,832 --> 01:25:14,850 [Geoffrey] There is no football. It's cricket now. 1633 01:25:14,874 --> 01:25:17,457 [Beryl's Mum] Well, it's the same thing, isn't it? 1634 01:25:20,457 --> 01:25:22,808 (phone hanging up) 1635 01:25:22,832 --> 01:25:26,082 (soft accordion music) 1636 01:25:40,166 --> 01:25:41,166 Hi. 1637 01:25:42,374 --> 01:25:43,499 When's the kickoff? 1638 01:25:45,166 --> 01:25:47,142 In about three months. 1639 01:25:47,166 --> 01:25:49,558 Football season's over now, Beryl. 1640 01:25:49,582 --> 01:25:53,183 Well what on Earth did you want to come for? 1641 01:25:53,207 --> 01:25:54,207 I forgot. 1642 01:25:55,041 --> 01:25:56,999 I'm not all that interested these days. 1643 01:25:58,957 --> 01:26:00,249 Where do we go now then? 1644 01:26:01,249 --> 01:26:02,249 Don't know. 1645 01:26:05,124 --> 01:26:07,916 Could always go inside and practise booing for next season. 1646 01:26:10,666 --> 01:26:12,183 How about you? 1647 01:26:12,207 --> 01:26:14,207 Might go and get a new pair of tights. 1648 01:26:15,082 --> 01:26:18,308 Hey, it's like the countryside, isn't it, when it's empty. 1649 01:26:18,332 --> 01:26:20,058 Fancy a stroll in the country? 1650 01:26:20,082 --> 01:26:22,225 May as well, if you like. 1651 01:26:22,249 --> 01:26:23,582 Don't mind. Why not? 1652 01:26:24,999 --> 01:26:26,642 Just as friends? 1653 01:26:26,666 --> 01:26:28,058 Oh I meant just as friends. 1654 01:26:28,082 --> 01:26:29,082 Yeah, I did. 1655 01:26:35,957 --> 01:26:36,957 Wish we had a ball. 1656 01:26:39,124 --> 01:26:40,291 I'd shoot it in. 1657 01:26:43,082 --> 01:26:44,124 You could go in goal. 1658 01:26:49,499 --> 01:26:51,332 Amazing how people change, isn't it? 1659 01:26:58,999 --> 01:27:02,082 (footsteps receding) 1660 01:27:17,541 --> 01:27:20,249 Well we're certainly much happier without each other. 1661 01:27:22,832 --> 01:27:24,957 We'll be even happier with someone else. 1662 01:27:26,082 --> 01:27:27,207 Anyone really. 1663 01:27:34,291 --> 01:27:36,082 There's millions to choose from. 1664 01:27:38,082 --> 01:27:40,249 All nearly exactly right for us. 1665 01:27:41,916 --> 01:27:43,416 You'll find someone, Geoffrey. 1666 01:27:44,499 --> 01:27:45,850 You will, Beryl. 1667 01:27:45,874 --> 01:27:48,499 Just a matter of keeping your eyes open really. 1668 01:27:49,916 --> 01:27:52,100 Picking one out of the crowd. 1669 01:27:52,124 --> 01:27:55,017 (crowd chanting) 1670 01:27:55,041 --> 01:27:57,124 United, United, United. 1671 01:27:58,874 --> 01:28:00,791 United, United, United. 1672 01:28:04,291 --> 01:28:05,541 United, United. 1673 01:28:13,207 --> 01:28:16,207 (soft upbeat music) 1674 01:28:29,541 --> 01:28:33,725 ♪ And you find sometimes ♪ 1675 01:28:33,749 --> 01:28:38,183 ♪ Love and rainy weather can turn out fine ♪ 1676 01:28:38,207 --> 01:28:43,207 ♪ Getting wet together's fun ♪ 1677 01:28:43,666 --> 01:28:48,666 ♪ When the crying stops ♪ 1678 01:28:49,249 --> 01:28:53,975 ♪ Love and rainy weather ♪ 1679 01:28:53,999 --> 01:28:58,999 ♪ Are followed by the sun ♪ 1680 01:28:59,291 --> 01:29:03,725 ♪ Love and rainy weather, hm, hm, hm, hm ♪ 1681 01:29:03,749 --> 01:29:08,749 ♪ Love and rainy weather ♪ 1682 01:29:09,332 --> 01:29:14,308 ♪ When the crying stops ♪ 1683 01:29:14,332 --> 01:29:19,017 ♪ Love and rainy weather ♪ 1684 01:29:19,041 --> 01:29:23,767 ♪ Are followed by the sun ♪ 1685 01:29:23,791 --> 01:29:27,541 ♪ Love and rainy weather, ah ♪