1 00:00:50,809 --> 00:00:52,362 You were incredible. 2 00:00:53,018 --> 00:00:55,227 My heart is still racing. 3 00:00:56,677 --> 00:00:58,437 I felt it too. 4 00:00:58,541 --> 00:01:00,474 All thanks to your brute strength, Dash, 5 00:01:00,577 --> 00:01:03,718 and your knowledge of ancient Aramaic mathematics. 6 00:01:03,822 --> 00:01:06,721 Please. This has nothing to do with my two doctorates 7 00:01:06,825 --> 00:01:08,896 and my master's in Gender Studies 8 00:01:09,793 --> 00:01:12,762 and everything to do with you, Dr. Lovemore. 9 00:01:13,211 --> 00:01:15,109 The truth is, 10 00:01:15,213 --> 00:01:17,594 I never thought I would find the Lost City of D. 11 00:01:17,698 --> 00:01:20,632 I would choose your words carefully. 12 00:01:20,735 --> 00:01:22,496 They will be your last. 13 00:01:22,599 --> 00:01:26,362 You led me right to King Kalaman's tomb 14 00:01:26,465 --> 00:01:30,055 and his queen's legendary Crown of Fire. 15 00:01:30,159 --> 00:01:33,058 And now I will be very rich, 16 00:01:33,162 --> 00:01:35,854 and you will be very dead. 17 00:01:36,786 --> 00:01:40,169 Hold up. Are these-- Are these your snakes? 18 00:01:40,272 --> 00:01:41,894 No, they were just here. 19 00:01:41,998 --> 00:01:44,449 There were just hundreds of snakes in this temple 20 00:01:44,552 --> 00:01:46,416 just waiting for us to show up? 21 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,625 Who feeds them? You feed them? No, what do they eat? 22 00:01:48,729 --> 00:01:50,938 Why is that one not biting that guy? Why is that happening? 23 00:01:51,041 --> 00:01:53,906 -Are they trained not to bite henchmen or something? -Yeah, well... 24 00:01:54,010 --> 00:01:56,288 I mean, the snake-to-temple ratio alone... 25 00:01:56,392 --> 00:01:58,842 This is ridiculous. Delete. 26 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,018 I-- I think my character can still work. 27 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,847 Delete. 28 00:02:03,951 --> 00:02:06,126 Loretta, you still have a story to write. 29 00:02:06,816 --> 00:02:08,128 Delete. 30 00:02:10,509 --> 00:02:12,373 Hey, it's me, Beth. 31 00:02:12,477 --> 00:02:14,893 I don't want to pull the whole "I'm your publisher" card, but I am. 32 00:02:14,996 --> 00:02:17,344 And I'm really looking forward to seeing this last chapter. 33 00:02:17,447 --> 00:02:19,484 But no pressure. No, there actually is pressure. 34 00:02:19,587 --> 00:02:23,764 The exact amount of pressure that motivates you but doesn't paralyze you. 35 00:02:23,867 --> 00:02:25,248 You got this. 36 00:02:26,801 --> 00:02:27,768 Thank you. 37 00:02:27,871 --> 00:02:29,908 Me again. 38 00:02:30,011 --> 00:02:31,875 Okay, so everything is set for the book tour, 39 00:02:31,979 --> 00:02:34,809 but, uh, the only thing we need is a book to tour with. 40 00:02:34,913 --> 00:02:37,053 I can't help but get the feeling that you're not finishing 41 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,607 because you don't want to leave your house. 42 00:02:39,711 --> 00:02:44,888 Listen, I know these last five years have been hard after John's passing, 43 00:02:44,992 --> 00:02:48,375 and it feels easier to live in your bathtub, 44 00:02:48,478 --> 00:02:51,136 drinking Chardonnay on ice. 45 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:54,035 But, girl, there is a great big world waiting for you 46 00:02:54,139 --> 00:02:57,142 and a book tour that I can't cancel, so just make it happen, all right? 47 00:02:57,246 --> 00:02:58,488 Love you, bye! 48 00:03:17,507 --> 00:03:19,026 We have to keep going. 49 00:03:20,061 --> 00:03:22,547 Let's see what's on the other side of that door. 50 00:03:22,650 --> 00:03:24,756 But what if there isn't anything? 51 00:03:25,515 --> 00:03:27,586 There's only one way to find out. 52 00:03:28,484 --> 00:03:30,417 Then Lovemore realized 53 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,798 the treasure she wanted was lost forever 54 00:03:32,902 --> 00:03:35,284 and her adventures were coming to an end. 55 00:03:35,387 --> 00:03:36,526 That doesn't feel right. 56 00:03:36,630 --> 00:03:38,425 Yeah, but that's it. 57 00:03:38,528 --> 00:03:39,978 That's the end. 58 00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,575 Well, John, 59 00:03:51,161 --> 00:03:52,266 here I go. 60 00:03:52,370 --> 00:03:54,648 Dulcius ex asperis. 61 00:04:01,171 --> 00:04:03,933 Okay, honey, it's showtime. -Are you sure about this? 62 00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:07,626 Because I have a wedgie in the back and in the front in this thing. 63 00:04:07,730 --> 00:04:09,973 I feel like a nerdy figure skater. 64 00:04:10,077 --> 00:04:12,769 Sexy. Stunner. I'm all about it.No, it's not. It's not. 65 00:04:12,873 --> 00:04:14,806 -How do I move in this? -Don't touch it. 66 00:04:14,909 --> 00:04:17,118 I'm not touching it. I'm holding it out.Stop it. Will you stop? 67 00:04:17,222 --> 00:04:19,397 Get it out now 'cause you can't do that onstage. 68 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:22,192 And we're done. And we're done. Okay, good. 69 00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,194 Do I need to be wearing a glitter onesie? 70 00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:25,748 You only have to wear this for two hours. 71 00:04:25,851 --> 00:04:27,819 Do not mess this up, do you hear me? This is on loan. 72 00:04:27,922 --> 00:04:29,924 Everyone's wearing sequins right now. 73 00:04:31,443 --> 00:04:33,514 Why is she taking my photo?This is Allison. 74 00:04:33,618 --> 00:04:35,930 She is our new social media manager. 75 00:04:36,034 --> 00:04:38,864 And she's gonna be helping us target that younger demographic. 76 00:04:38,968 --> 00:04:41,453 Meaning women in their 30s who wish they were in their 20s. 77 00:04:41,557 --> 00:04:43,075 Hey, what's up? 78 00:04:43,179 --> 00:04:46,527 Um, I took over your socials, so this morning you tweeted, 79 00:04:46,631 --> 00:04:51,808 "Where are my ladies at? Meet me at Ballroom G at- 00 p.m. 80 00:04:51,912 --> 00:04:53,362 #ShawnMendes. 81 00:04:53,465 --> 00:04:56,330 #GaggingToMeetYouAll." 82 00:04:56,434 --> 00:04:58,988 Okay, we are having fun. Let's go. 83 00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:02,060 We need to remind people that you are still alive. 84 00:05:02,163 --> 00:05:03,579 People know I'm alive. 85 00:05:03,682 --> 00:05:05,650 And to remind them why this used to be 86 00:05:05,753 --> 00:05:07,824 the best selling franchise.In Romance. 87 00:05:07,928 --> 00:05:10,551 Yes, which is the top revenue-generating literary category. 88 00:05:10,655 --> 00:05:13,520 Revenue-generating isn't how I would describe our presales right now. 89 00:05:13,623 --> 00:05:15,763 Just think of this as a way that uses word of mouth. 90 00:05:15,867 --> 00:05:17,489 Oh, you want word of mouth? Here we go. How's this? 91 00:05:17,593 --> 00:05:20,389 "The only thing more lost than the city is the author herself." 92 00:05:20,492 --> 00:05:22,252 "Loveless." "Passionless." 93 00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:26,256 Uh, "Way past her prime." And, oh, "This is fake history at its worst." 94 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,535 A book tour could change everything, okay? 95 00:05:28,638 --> 00:05:30,951 We have to remind the fans why they love you so much. 96 00:05:31,054 --> 00:05:34,644 Real history. I merely season it with a smidge more nudity. 97 00:05:34,748 --> 00:05:36,957 History had a ton of nudity. 98 00:05:37,820 --> 00:05:39,891 Deep exploration. 99 00:05:39,994 --> 00:05:42,480 Steamy wondering. 100 00:05:42,583 --> 00:05:47,623 Will Lovemore and Dash find Queen Taha's priceless Crown of Fire? 101 00:05:47,726 --> 00:05:49,521 Join them on their search. 102 00:05:49,625 --> 00:05:51,558 So, listen, I wanted to talk to you about something. 103 00:05:51,661 --> 00:05:52,904 There's so many people. 104 00:05:53,007 --> 00:05:55,147 I know how much you hate doing these things, 105 00:05:55,251 --> 00:05:57,978 so I've invited Alan to do the Q and A with you today. 106 00:05:58,081 --> 00:06:00,083 -What? -And the rest of the book tour. 107 00:06:00,187 --> 00:06:03,155 Beth, I expressly asked not to do any more events with Dash-- Alan, Alan! 108 00:06:03,259 --> 00:06:06,089 -He's gonna humiliate me. -He's not gonna humiliate you. 109 00:06:06,193 --> 00:06:09,230 Thank you. You're very good at your job. Thank you so much. Thank you. 110 00:06:09,334 --> 00:06:10,542 Let me help you with that. 111 00:06:10,646 --> 00:06:12,544 He is-- He's a body wash commercial. 112 00:06:12,648 --> 00:06:14,512 He's always glistening all over the place. 113 00:06:14,615 --> 00:06:17,515 There hasn't been an event where his shirt didn't come flying off. 114 00:06:17,618 --> 00:06:19,137 You wish. Well, he's already here, 115 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,381 so put on your big-girl panties and let's get out there. 116 00:06:21,484 --> 00:06:24,660 Remember, no grumpy face, big words or boring academic talk. 117 00:06:24,763 --> 00:06:28,042 Yes! Yes! 118 00:06:28,146 --> 00:06:30,079 Come on, RTP! 119 00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,667 Ha-ha! 120 00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:34,014 Yes, my Lovemore-heads! 121 00:06:34,117 --> 00:06:37,569 I am so excited to introduce to you 122 00:06:37,673 --> 00:06:41,504 the award-winning author, Loretta Sage! 123 00:06:41,608 --> 00:06:44,162 Beth, I can't do this. I'm not ready.Are you kidding me? 124 00:06:44,265 --> 00:06:45,991 Listen, I've got your back. You got this. 125 00:06:46,095 --> 00:06:47,614 Go give the people what they want. 126 00:06:47,717 --> 00:06:49,581 It's not me they want.Get out there now! 127 00:06:52,135 --> 00:06:55,967 Hi. How are you? Nice to see you. Thank you. 128 00:07:01,317 --> 00:07:03,043 Yep. Mount it. 129 00:07:05,494 --> 00:07:08,393 Mount it. Mount it. Okay. 130 00:07:08,497 --> 00:07:10,188 Find your center. 131 00:07:10,291 --> 00:07:13,847 And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. 132 00:07:13,950 --> 00:07:15,711 The sexiest... All right! 133 00:07:15,814 --> 00:07:19,818 ...most influential hero of a generation. 134 00:07:19,922 --> 00:07:21,130 That's a bit strong. 135 00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:23,857 His 20th cover of an Angela Lovemore novel. 136 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,584 Dash McMahon! 137 00:07:32,037 --> 00:07:34,557 Oh, my God! Dash! 138 00:07:57,235 --> 00:07:59,582 Take a bow.I already did mine. I did mine. 139 00:07:59,686 --> 00:08:02,654 Okay, come on. One more. I got you. 140 00:08:17,669 --> 00:08:19,326 Did you guys rehearse that? Oh, my God. 141 00:08:19,429 --> 00:08:23,261 I'm loving this chemistry between you two, and I got to say, 142 00:08:23,364 --> 00:08:25,505 I love this book. 143 00:08:25,608 --> 00:08:26,678 Oh, thank you, Ray.Thank-- 144 00:08:26,782 --> 00:08:28,128 Spoiler alert. 145 00:08:28,231 --> 00:08:29,509 A really bold choice 146 00:08:29,612 --> 00:08:31,545 to not have them go into the tomb at the end. 147 00:08:31,649 --> 00:08:33,271 Talk about what went into this one. 148 00:08:33,374 --> 00:08:36,826 I mean, this one's such a special book for me personally. 149 00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:39,760 I-- I don't know how to say how much it means to me 150 00:08:39,864 --> 00:08:41,969 that Loretta, word writer extraordinaire, 151 00:08:42,073 --> 00:08:45,110 has, you know, named the book after me. 152 00:08:45,214 --> 00:08:47,043 The Lost City of Dash. 153 00:08:47,147 --> 00:08:48,251 The Lost City of D. 154 00:08:48,355 --> 00:08:50,599 Um, but that's not what the D stands for. 155 00:08:50,702 --> 00:08:53,291 It's D for "dick," right?No dick, no. 156 00:08:53,394 --> 00:08:56,501 It's based on the name of an ancient tribe, Dapocagihou-dysphem-ica. 157 00:08:56,605 --> 00:09:01,161 And, um, it was too difficult for the European colonizers to pronounce, 158 00:09:01,264 --> 00:09:04,544 so, in true colonial fashion they abbreviated it.No one cares about this. 159 00:09:04,647 --> 00:09:06,373 That's so interesting. Okay. 160 00:09:06,476 --> 00:09:08,789 How about we take some questions from the audience? 161 00:09:08,893 --> 00:09:10,688 Right here, handsome!Yes. 162 00:09:10,791 --> 00:09:14,933 Dash, what's your favorite romantic moment?Ooh. 163 00:09:15,037 --> 00:09:19,559 What I would really like to know is what is Loretta's favorite romantic moment? 164 00:09:19,662 --> 00:09:21,595 Ooh, spicy. 165 00:09:21,699 --> 00:09:23,632 Oh, uh... 166 00:09:23,735 --> 00:09:26,427 -Well, being a sapiosexual-- 167 00:09:26,531 --> 00:09:28,740 Oh, is that when they do the snakes around the... 168 00:09:28,844 --> 00:09:32,917 No. That's someone who finds, uh, intellect 169 00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:36,921 or intelligence, uh, very sexy, you know. 170 00:09:37,024 --> 00:09:38,129 Same. 171 00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:39,855 Really? 172 00:09:39,958 --> 00:09:42,374 Dash! Rip off your shirt! 173 00:09:42,478 --> 00:09:46,206 No, no, no. We're not gonna do that today. We're here for Loretta's book. 174 00:09:46,309 --> 00:09:48,173 Do we have questions for Loretta? 175 00:09:48,277 --> 00:09:53,454 Uh, yes, studious-looking young lady? What would you like to ask me? 176 00:09:53,558 --> 00:09:55,595 Can you rip off Dash's shirt? 177 00:09:57,148 --> 00:09:59,978 No, no. We're not gonna do this again. Sorry. 178 00:10:00,082 --> 00:10:02,602 Rip it off! Rip it off! 179 00:10:02,705 --> 00:10:05,018 Rip it off! Rip it off! Rip it off! 180 00:10:05,121 --> 00:10:08,849 Of course. Of course, yes. Can do. 181 00:10:09,816 --> 00:10:11,093 Is this happening? 182 00:10:11,196 --> 00:10:12,922 You don't have to do this.Oh, we have to. 183 00:10:13,026 --> 00:10:15,097 We have to give the people what they want. Yes, yes. 184 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,927 We have to give the people what they want, yes. 185 00:10:18,031 --> 00:10:21,275 Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy. 186 00:10:21,379 --> 00:10:26,039 Because The Lost City of D is Dash's final adventure. 187 00:10:26,142 --> 00:10:28,213 If there even is a next book, 188 00:10:28,317 --> 00:10:31,423 it will open with Lovemore receiving the tragic news 189 00:10:31,527 --> 00:10:33,874 of his untimely death. 190 00:10:33,978 --> 00:10:35,358 What? 191 00:10:35,462 --> 00:10:36,912 Shit. I'm sorry. My smartwatch is stuck.Ow. Hold on. 192 00:10:37,015 --> 00:10:38,085 I know. Don't pull it. 193 00:10:38,189 --> 00:10:39,708 It's okay. Just be real still. 194 00:10:39,811 --> 00:10:41,226 No. That's pulling it.You're pulling it. 195 00:10:41,330 --> 00:10:43,919 You're gonna rip my wig off. No, you can't-- 196 00:10:48,337 --> 00:10:49,303 Oh, my! 197 00:10:49,407 --> 00:10:50,822 Oh, my God.Is he okay? 198 00:10:50,926 --> 00:10:52,548 God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 199 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,309 -I'm so sorry. You're a bad person. 200 00:10:55,413 --> 00:10:59,659 Stick around for the costume contest at- 00 p.m. 201 00:11:00,521 --> 00:11:02,765 "If there is another book"? 202 00:11:02,869 --> 00:11:07,770 I'm investing everything we've got into this tour, okay? 203 00:11:07,874 --> 00:11:11,325 I just don't think I have another Dash and Lovemore adventure in me. 204 00:11:11,429 --> 00:11:12,810 How does Dash die? 205 00:11:12,913 --> 00:11:15,053 Was it the snakes?No. 206 00:11:15,157 --> 00:11:17,504 Okay, so I have something that I have to take care of. 207 00:11:17,607 --> 00:11:20,058 You guys have an interview in the next suite in ten minutes. 208 00:11:20,162 --> 00:11:22,578 So can you please do me a favor and be grown-ups 209 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,200 and get yourselves there on your own? 210 00:11:24,304 --> 00:11:25,512 Okay. Thank you so much. 211 00:11:26,306 --> 00:11:28,377 Does he die from a staph infection? 212 00:11:30,344 --> 00:11:32,415 It is a staph infection. I knew it. 213 00:11:33,589 --> 00:11:34,970 I-I-- All right. 214 00:11:35,073 --> 00:11:38,145 Look, I get it if you need a break or something, 215 00:11:38,249 --> 00:11:40,251 but you can't just kill me, okay?Okay. 216 00:11:40,354 --> 00:11:44,738 I hate that I have to ask this, but you do know you're not Dash, right? 217 00:11:44,842 --> 00:11:47,016 Dash is a character I made up. 218 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,362 Dash? 219 00:11:51,193 --> 00:11:52,435 Thanks. 220 00:11:52,539 --> 00:11:53,747 Thank you. 221 00:11:56,232 --> 00:11:58,510 Loretta, it's this way.No, I think it's this way. 222 00:11:58,614 --> 00:12:00,961 Can't you see that Dash means so much to people? 223 00:12:01,065 --> 00:12:02,929 Means so much to you.Not to me. 224 00:12:03,032 --> 00:12:04,689 Well, yeah, to me, but to other people too. 225 00:12:04,793 --> 00:12:07,761 What about Beth?You know what? Beth is gonna be fine. 226 00:12:07,865 --> 00:12:11,696 She's gonna find plenty fresh, young writers full of great ideas. 227 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,802 You can transition gracefully 228 00:12:13,905 --> 00:12:16,252 into the shirt-on phase of your modeling career, 229 00:12:16,356 --> 00:12:17,702 and I can be left alone. 230 00:12:17,806 --> 00:12:19,531 Everybody is happy. 231 00:12:19,635 --> 00:12:21,430 No, it's this way. 232 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,363 Beth says you don't even leave the house anymore. 233 00:12:23,466 --> 00:12:25,503 I don't feel like that's very happy. 234 00:12:25,606 --> 00:12:28,506 You should be going out in the world, filling yourself up on new experiences. 235 00:12:28,609 --> 00:12:30,853 I'm already filled up. I'm full. I'm fully satiated. 236 00:12:30,957 --> 00:12:34,305 Why would you want to be stuck at home alone when you could see the world? 237 00:12:34,408 --> 00:12:35,927 You could be visiting ancient Greece. 238 00:12:36,031 --> 00:12:38,930 Okay. How could I visit ancient Greece? 239 00:12:39,034 --> 00:12:41,070 I get it. Because you're afraid of flying. 240 00:12:41,174 --> 00:12:44,591 No. Because ancient Greece is in the past. 241 00:12:44,694 --> 00:12:46,248 Just like Dash. 242 00:12:46,351 --> 00:12:49,561 Okay. You want to know who else is stuck in the past? You are. 243 00:12:49,665 --> 00:12:52,426 You're so afraid of life hurting you again that you've stopped living. 244 00:12:52,530 --> 00:12:54,843 You're like a human mummy. 245 00:12:56,327 --> 00:12:58,363 I didn't, um... 246 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:00,814 Oh. 247 00:13:00,918 --> 00:13:03,058 Mummies are human. 248 00:13:12,343 --> 00:13:14,310 Stupid-- Oh, crap. 249 00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:17,348 I'm so sorry. I-I will clean this up. 250 00:13:17,451 --> 00:13:19,937 I am not a litterer, I-I assure you that. 251 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,526 Do you, um-- Do you think you could, uh, call a car for me, please? 252 00:13:23,630 --> 00:13:25,149 Thank you. Thank you. 253 00:13:27,910 --> 00:13:29,084 Bring the car around. 254 00:13:29,187 --> 00:13:30,637 God, is that someone's retainer? 255 00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:33,088 I've never said the right thing one time around her. 256 00:13:33,191 --> 00:13:35,124 I get nervous because she opens her mouth, 257 00:13:35,228 --> 00:13:39,680 and just an encyclopedia of beautifulness comes out, and I just never say-- 258 00:13:39,784 --> 00:13:41,096 You know she's trying to kill me? 259 00:13:41,199 --> 00:13:43,374 I just need those tomatoes. 260 00:13:43,477 --> 00:13:45,825 You're right. No, you're right. 261 00:13:45,928 --> 00:13:47,412 I should apologize. Thank you, man. 262 00:13:47,516 --> 00:13:49,759 I appreciate that very, very much.You're welcome. 263 00:13:59,908 --> 00:14:02,186 Uh, Loretta Sage. Yeah. 264 00:14:07,398 --> 00:14:08,502 Uh-- 265 00:14:09,814 --> 00:14:11,022 Hiya. 266 00:14:11,126 --> 00:14:12,610 Uh, I did not order an UberPool. 267 00:14:12,713 --> 00:14:15,682 Someone wants to meet you. We'll have you right back. 268 00:14:15,785 --> 00:14:16,959 Um... 269 00:14:20,445 --> 00:14:21,722 Loretta! 270 00:14:21,826 --> 00:14:23,345 Loretta! Loretta? 271 00:14:26,244 --> 00:14:28,108 Uh, Loretta? 272 00:14:28,212 --> 00:14:30,800 Did you say "Loretta"?Yeah. 273 00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,112 Follow that SUV, man.No. 274 00:14:32,216 --> 00:14:33,976 Come on, please!No, no, no. 275 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,152 I'm not helping any more handsome strangers. Fool me once. Mm-mmm. 276 00:14:37,255 --> 00:14:40,569 What is this, Taken? Am I "tooken"? 277 00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:42,088 Am I sold already? 278 00:14:42,191 --> 00:14:45,194 Am I-- Am I sold to him? 279 00:14:45,298 --> 00:14:48,957 Ow. Stop.Oh, no. Did this feel creepy? 280 00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:51,683 I said don't make it creepy, guys. 281 00:14:51,787 --> 00:14:53,616 I'm so sorry about the setting. 282 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,309 I just flew in. I was in a real panic to meet you. 283 00:14:56,412 --> 00:14:58,483 I didn't have time to dress the place up much. 284 00:14:58,587 --> 00:15:01,383 I read you love cheese, so I just got them all. 285 00:15:01,486 --> 00:15:05,559 Are you the one who's been emailing me for photos of my feet? 286 00:15:05,663 --> 00:15:07,527 No. Um-- 287 00:15:07,630 --> 00:15:11,945 And I promise what I'm about to show you is gonna make you very happy. 288 00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:13,913 But first, a little bit 289 00:15:14,016 --> 00:15:17,226 about the mysterious rogue you see before you. 290 00:15:17,330 --> 00:15:19,608 Uh, my name is Abigail Fairfax. 291 00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:22,645 Abigail?It's a gender-neutral name, like Leslie or Beverly. 292 00:15:22,749 --> 00:15:26,442 Yes, but you're Abigail Fairfax of the media-mogul Fairfaxes? 293 00:15:27,374 --> 00:15:30,584 Didn't you just take over your company or... 294 00:15:30,688 --> 00:15:34,623 No, that was my brother, actually. That was Leslie. We're all very proud. 295 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:37,833 Ah. Yes, I should say so, at such a young age to-- 296 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,869 Some might even say too young. 297 00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:42,700 But that world never really interested me. 298 00:15:42,803 --> 00:15:45,392 My passions, as you may know, 299 00:15:45,496 --> 00:15:48,602 lie in the hidden things in the world, 300 00:15:48,706 --> 00:15:51,329 things which defy possession. 301 00:15:51,433 --> 00:15:54,470 Um, some might call me a collector. 302 00:15:54,574 --> 00:15:58,267 But there is one obsession in particular 303 00:15:58,371 --> 00:16:00,476 that has held me captive. 304 00:16:01,650 --> 00:16:03,134 The Crown of Fire 305 00:16:03,238 --> 00:16:05,619 and its cascading red diamonds. 306 00:16:05,723 --> 00:16:09,382 Is this a... Is this a hidden-camera thing? 307 00:16:09,485 --> 00:16:13,075 So imagine my surprise when, in your new book, 308 00:16:13,179 --> 00:16:16,458 amidst the pages of coital reverie, 309 00:16:16,561 --> 00:16:17,390 was something... 310 00:16:17,493 --> 00:16:19,564 Oh, God....quite magnificent. 311 00:16:21,428 --> 00:16:23,983 I get it. I get it. I so get it right now. 312 00:16:24,086 --> 00:16:25,398 Oh, my gosh. 313 00:16:25,501 --> 00:16:27,676 I literally thought you guys kidnapped me. 314 00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:30,265 I mean, this is marketing, right? Beth set this up? 315 00:16:30,368 --> 00:16:33,268 This was so good, you guys. This was amazing. 316 00:16:33,371 --> 00:16:36,616 You, with your gun and your mustache 317 00:16:36,719 --> 00:16:39,688 and your, "You'd better get in there" and you know... 318 00:16:40,896 --> 00:16:42,415 Oh, my God. 319 00:16:42,518 --> 00:16:46,281 You, with the G.I. Joe tone-on-tone outfit. 320 00:16:46,384 --> 00:16:51,389 Your fictional archaeologist was making real translations of a dead language. 321 00:16:51,493 --> 00:16:54,392 Mm-hmm.Something nobody else has been able to do. 322 00:16:54,496 --> 00:16:56,912 Well, nobody else had ever tried. 323 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,845 Is that right? Am I saying the right thing? 324 00:16:58,948 --> 00:17:00,605 Except you, right? 325 00:17:00,709 --> 00:17:02,676 Except me! 326 00:17:02,780 --> 00:17:04,506 Yes. See, it turns out 327 00:17:04,609 --> 00:17:07,923 Loretta Sage was once a young college girl doing her dissertation 328 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,891 on the dead language of the D with her future husband, 329 00:17:10,995 --> 00:17:14,102 dreaming of finding Kalaman's tomb and the Crown of Fire. 330 00:17:14,205 --> 00:17:17,312 I was sorry to read you gave up your search after he died. 331 00:17:17,415 --> 00:17:19,038 But what that means is, 332 00:17:20,315 --> 00:17:22,213 you're all I have left. 333 00:17:22,317 --> 00:17:25,492 All-All you have left for... what? 334 00:17:25,596 --> 00:17:26,631 Hmm. 335 00:17:28,426 --> 00:17:29,669 Oh. 336 00:17:29,772 --> 00:17:31,153 Here we go. 337 00:17:45,271 --> 00:17:46,996 What is this? 338 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:50,793 I believe it is describing the exact location of Kalaman's tomb, 339 00:17:50,897 --> 00:17:54,349 in which Taha and her priceless headdress are buried. 340 00:17:54,452 --> 00:17:56,592 Well, if this were authentic, 341 00:17:56,696 --> 00:18:02,046 you would still have to uncover an entire city 342 00:18:02,150 --> 00:18:05,187 that nobody has been able to find. 343 00:18:05,291 --> 00:18:06,947 I found it. 344 00:18:07,051 --> 00:18:10,192 On a tiny, forgotten island in the Atlantic called Isla Hundida. 345 00:18:10,296 --> 00:18:13,851 What I have not been able to find is Kalaman's final resting place. 346 00:18:13,954 --> 00:18:18,235 This piece of parchment is the only clue we found among the ruins. 347 00:18:18,338 --> 00:18:21,479 I need someone who can decipher these symbols. 348 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,654 I need you. 349 00:18:24,793 --> 00:18:26,243 Well...Miss Sage, 350 00:18:26,346 --> 00:18:29,729 surely this isn't how you want your story to end. 351 00:18:29,832 --> 00:18:32,421 We both had our dreams crushed by bad luck, 352 00:18:32,525 --> 00:18:34,768 or in my case, an arse-kissing little brother, 353 00:18:34,872 --> 00:18:37,978 but this is our chance to show them all. 354 00:18:38,082 --> 00:18:39,670 Come with me... to the island. 355 00:18:39,773 --> 00:18:44,916 Translate these symbols and help me find the Crown of Fire. 356 00:18:45,020 --> 00:18:47,643 You can name your price. 357 00:18:50,267 --> 00:18:53,097 I must respectfully decline. 358 00:18:57,964 --> 00:18:59,172 Well... 359 00:19:00,794 --> 00:19:02,762 I can't say I'm not disappointed. 360 00:19:03,659 --> 00:19:06,145 But I understand how you feel. 361 00:19:09,493 --> 00:19:11,253 Will you at least let us give you a ride? 362 00:19:11,357 --> 00:19:15,637 Oh, no, thank you. I'll call for my own car, and I'll just... 363 00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:40,972 I don't feel like you're listening to me. This is urgent, and we-- 364 00:19:41,076 --> 00:19:44,010 Okay, so the police are saying that they put out an APB... 365 00:19:44,113 --> 00:19:45,770 APB....on an SUV, 366 00:19:45,874 --> 00:19:48,117 and there's this 24-hour rule...Why is there a rule? 367 00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:50,637 ...and they won't do anything until...What about the FBI or the CIA? 368 00:19:50,741 --> 00:19:52,708 -They said to call the police. -I'm sure Loretta's fine. 369 00:19:52,812 --> 00:19:55,401 When I was in college, my friend Nicki went missing. 370 00:19:55,504 --> 00:19:57,126 Everyone was, like, freaking out. 371 00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:59,577 But then she was just in her car. 372 00:19:59,681 --> 00:20:02,856 She was dead, but we found her. She wasn't gone. 373 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:07,309 Um, what about... Maybe we could get a PI 374 00:20:07,413 --> 00:20:09,932 or, like, you know, private security or-- 375 00:20:10,036 --> 00:20:11,934 What about an extraction team, like the movie? 376 00:20:12,038 --> 00:20:14,523 Yes! But who does that? The ex-military, right? 377 00:20:14,627 --> 00:20:17,216 Oh, yeah. I think I actually have somebody that could help us. 378 00:20:17,319 --> 00:20:20,288 -Oh. -I did this meditation retreat, 379 00:20:20,391 --> 00:20:22,462 and there was this trainer guy there. 380 00:20:22,566 --> 00:20:24,084 You should see this guy meditate. 381 00:20:24,188 --> 00:20:25,603 But he's ex-Navy SEAL. 382 00:20:25,707 --> 00:20:29,504 He-- He's a special ops trainer. What was his name? 383 00:20:30,194 --> 00:20:31,333 Yeah. Jack Trainer. 384 00:20:31,437 --> 00:20:33,059 So he's a trainer named Jack Trainer? 385 00:20:33,162 --> 00:20:35,337 That's how I have everybody in my phone. See, "Janice Mom." 386 00:20:35,441 --> 00:20:36,890 "Larry Doorknob." "Stacy Butt Stuff." 387 00:20:36,994 --> 00:20:39,686 Look, this is what this guy does. He finds people. 388 00:20:39,790 --> 00:20:42,068 If there's anybody that can help us, it's him. 389 00:20:49,006 --> 00:20:51,526 Jack Trainer.Oh, so his name is actually Jack Trainer. 390 00:20:51,629 --> 00:20:55,530 Hi, uh, this is Alan from "Touching Your Inner Self." 391 00:20:57,014 --> 00:20:58,843 The meditation retreat? 392 00:21:00,569 --> 00:21:03,641 Anyway, uh, okay. Our friend Loretta has been kidnapped, 393 00:21:03,745 --> 00:21:05,194 and no one's helping us. 394 00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:06,782 How long she been missing? 395 00:21:06,886 --> 00:21:08,128 Maybe two hours now. 396 00:21:08,232 --> 00:21:09,544 Who is that? 397 00:21:09,647 --> 00:21:13,686 Um, this is B-- This is Beth. I'm Beth. 398 00:21:13,789 --> 00:21:16,205 And Allison is on too, sir. 399 00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:18,518 Did she have any Wi-Fi-enabled devices? 400 00:21:18,622 --> 00:21:21,521 -She's got her phone, right? -No, I have her phone. 401 00:21:21,625 --> 00:21:24,248 Oh! She has a smartwatch. It ripped my wig off. 402 00:21:24,352 --> 00:21:27,286 What was that scenario? Never mind. Open the phone. 403 00:21:27,389 --> 00:21:28,942 Go to the smartwatch app.All right. 404 00:21:29,046 --> 00:21:31,359 Then hit "Find My Smartwatch." 405 00:21:31,462 --> 00:21:34,396 Oh, my... That is so good. That's why we called. 406 00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:36,950 "Anticipate the difficult by managing the easy." 407 00:21:37,054 --> 00:21:40,747 Is that Oprah or Deepak? Laozi fromTao-te Ching. 408 00:21:40,851 --> 00:21:42,059 Oh, my God. 409 00:21:42,162 --> 00:21:43,854 It's in the Atlantic. 410 00:21:43,957 --> 00:21:46,305 She's on a plane? How can you tell that? 411 00:21:46,408 --> 00:21:48,583 'Cause she can't swim that fast. 412 00:21:48,686 --> 00:21:50,136 Doesn't sound like a ransom scenario. 413 00:21:50,239 --> 00:21:52,863 My guess is blood sport, Hunger Games type situation. 414 00:21:52,966 --> 00:21:55,797 Possibly some coke-fueled dark web scavenger hunt. 415 00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:57,937 Real clown shit. We'll have to move fast. 416 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,974 -How do we pay you? -Cryptocurrency. Cash App. 417 00:22:01,078 --> 00:22:04,564 I'll have her back within 48 hours or your next rescue is free. 418 00:22:04,668 --> 00:22:06,152 How many people need a next rescue? 419 00:22:06,255 --> 00:22:07,774 More than you'd think. 420 00:22:07,878 --> 00:22:09,707 -I'm gonna need that phone. -I'll bring it to you. 421 00:22:09,811 --> 00:22:12,572 Let me know where she lands. I'll meet you there, Alan. 422 00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:28,623 Hello. 423 00:22:33,213 --> 00:22:34,353 Where am I? 424 00:22:34,456 --> 00:22:36,458 Um, you're on my plane. 425 00:22:36,562 --> 00:22:37,770 It's nice, isn't it? Hmm? 426 00:22:37,873 --> 00:22:39,703 The seats are made of mama llama leather. 427 00:22:39,806 --> 00:22:42,913 Well, I'm getting off your plane. 428 00:22:43,016 --> 00:22:44,397 Unchain me! 429 00:22:44,501 --> 00:22:46,054 That's your seat belt. 430 00:22:46,641 --> 00:22:48,505 Did you chloroform me? 431 00:22:48,608 --> 00:22:50,817 People actually do that? 432 00:22:53,199 --> 00:22:55,857 Well, you know, it's a classic for a reason. 433 00:22:56,547 --> 00:22:57,790 My body feels drunk. 434 00:22:57,893 --> 00:22:59,792 It'll wear off in a bit. I am sorry. 435 00:22:59,895 --> 00:23:02,311 I just couldn't wait around for you to change your mind. 436 00:23:02,415 --> 00:23:04,866 Stop playing jelly.Time is not on our side. 437 00:23:04,969 --> 00:23:07,696 You see, the volcano we're excavating around 438 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,767 has developed a bad case of indigestion. 439 00:23:09,871 --> 00:23:11,735 I'm rather worried that when it blows, 440 00:23:11,838 --> 00:23:13,909 everything that's left of the Lost City will be destroyed. 441 00:23:14,013 --> 00:23:15,911 Oh, my God. My legs don't work. 442 00:23:16,015 --> 00:23:21,434 So, this is our last chance to find both the tomb and the crown. 443 00:23:21,538 --> 00:23:23,574 Oh, God. Oh! 444 00:23:23,678 --> 00:23:25,956 Don't worry. That's just our final descent. 445 00:23:26,059 --> 00:23:32,065 But it is the beginning of the greatest adventure of your life. 446 00:24:40,686 --> 00:24:42,757 Welcome to the Lost City. 447 00:24:52,387 --> 00:24:53,802 How did you find it? 448 00:24:53,906 --> 00:24:56,046 So, the city was built on a lava dome. 449 00:24:56,149 --> 00:24:58,842 As the volcano became active, the dome filled with lava, 450 00:24:58,945 --> 00:25:01,569 and sunken things rose to the surface. 451 00:25:01,672 --> 00:25:03,571 The D exposed itself. 452 00:25:03,674 --> 00:25:06,712 -The entire city? -No, no. Just the tip. 453 00:25:06,815 --> 00:25:10,025 As soon as I heard rumors of the ruins, I flew over and bought the place. 454 00:25:10,129 --> 00:25:13,408 The site?No. The island. The southern half. 455 00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:15,859 I got a good deal 'cause this is where the lava flows. 456 00:25:15,962 --> 00:25:18,206 We've been excavating for a year now. 457 00:25:19,276 --> 00:25:21,830 One doesn't kidnap a romance novelist on day one. 458 00:25:21,934 --> 00:25:23,970 Ah, yes, as the saying goes. 459 00:25:24,074 --> 00:25:27,077 Rafi doesn't like it. Do you, Rafi? 460 00:25:27,180 --> 00:25:30,356 He says we're disrespecting his heritage. 461 00:25:30,459 --> 00:25:33,704 But not a lot of other job options on the island, are there, Rafi? 462 00:25:33,808 --> 00:25:35,879 Beggars can't be choosers. 463 00:25:45,716 --> 00:25:47,546 No more charcuterie, I take it. 464 00:25:47,649 --> 00:25:49,755 Mmm. Please. I'm not a monster. 465 00:25:49,858 --> 00:25:51,688 Whatever you need, just shout. 466 00:25:53,206 --> 00:25:58,073 Uh, leave one hand free. She has some translating to do. 467 00:25:59,281 --> 00:26:00,524 And then what? 468 00:26:00,628 --> 00:26:03,147 Loretta, I really wish you would try and see 469 00:26:03,251 --> 00:26:05,391 what an exciting opportunity this is for us. 470 00:26:05,494 --> 00:26:09,395 I believe this text describes the exact location of the tomb. 471 00:26:09,498 --> 00:26:12,018 It's a logographic system. 472 00:26:12,778 --> 00:26:15,366 Like cuneiform or hieroglyphics. 473 00:26:15,470 --> 00:26:19,267 Now, if you have other documents that possibly I can compare-- 474 00:26:19,370 --> 00:26:20,648 Yeah, no luck there. 475 00:26:20,751 --> 00:26:23,547 We found some scratching at a nearby waterfall, 476 00:26:23,651 --> 00:26:24,548 but it was useless. 477 00:26:24,652 --> 00:26:26,205 Just pictures of women. 478 00:26:26,308 --> 00:26:30,899 Look, I, too, wish your dear old dead archaeologist husband 479 00:26:31,003 --> 00:26:33,730 was here to help, but he's not, so, 480 00:26:33,833 --> 00:26:36,940 time to shine, Loretta, sex-book writer. 481 00:26:38,355 --> 00:26:40,081 They will come for me. 482 00:26:40,668 --> 00:26:42,393 Who, exactly? 483 00:26:42,497 --> 00:26:44,223 Your-- Your many cats? 484 00:26:44,326 --> 00:26:46,121 Oh, I don't have cats. 485 00:26:46,708 --> 00:26:48,537 Somehow even more sad. 486 00:26:48,641 --> 00:26:51,610 I have a hamster, asshole! 487 00:26:51,713 --> 00:26:53,370 You have a hamster's asshole? 488 00:26:53,473 --> 00:26:57,236 No, there was a-- there was a comma between-- Forget it. 489 00:26:57,339 --> 00:27:00,757 I bet your brother never had to kidnap anyone! 490 00:27:32,478 --> 00:27:35,757 ♪ From the dusty mesa♪ 491 00:27:35,861 --> 00:27:40,175 ♪ Her looming shadow grows♪ 492 00:27:40,279 --> 00:27:43,662 ♪ Hidden in the branches♪ 493 00:27:43,765 --> 00:27:47,838 ♪ Of the poison creosote♪ 494 00:27:51,497 --> 00:27:53,085 Good to see you, man. 495 00:27:53,188 --> 00:27:54,811 Phone.Right. 496 00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:07,927 What? 497 00:28:08,031 --> 00:28:10,619 Yeah, I was thinking that I could, you know, 498 00:28:10,723 --> 00:28:12,311 maybe just sort of come with you. 499 00:28:12,414 --> 00:28:14,175 Why?To help. 500 00:28:14,278 --> 00:28:18,420 I know CPR. I know some light karate. CrossFit certified. 501 00:28:18,524 --> 00:28:20,043 Okay, okay, listen, listen! 502 00:28:20,906 --> 00:28:22,597 I just-- It's my fault. 503 00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:24,806 Not the kidnapping and stuff, 504 00:28:24,910 --> 00:28:27,982 but, like, I said some really mean stuff to her, and I regret it, 505 00:28:28,085 --> 00:28:29,708 and I just need to take it back. 506 00:28:29,811 --> 00:28:31,192 I called her a human mummy. 507 00:28:32,538 --> 00:28:33,953 Mummies are human. 508 00:28:34,609 --> 00:28:37,025 I'm aware of that now, yes. 509 00:28:37,129 --> 00:28:40,166 That is true. 510 00:28:40,270 --> 00:28:41,271 Please. 511 00:28:42,548 --> 00:28:45,240 All right, Alan, I can't be responsible for you. 512 00:28:46,207 --> 00:28:47,208 Okay. Yeah. 513 00:28:47,311 --> 00:28:50,280 I need you to stay in the car.Yeah. 514 00:28:50,383 --> 00:28:52,489 In the car.In the car. 515 00:28:52,592 --> 00:28:55,043 The whole time.The whole time? 516 00:28:55,147 --> 00:28:56,389 Whole time. 517 00:28:56,493 --> 00:28:57,736 Mm-hmm. 518 00:28:59,496 --> 00:29:00,773 Yes! 519 00:29:07,711 --> 00:29:09,057 This is me. 520 00:29:09,955 --> 00:29:12,233 Really? Is this what the SEAL teams use? 521 00:29:12,336 --> 00:29:14,994 "Only a fool chooses a horse by its color." 522 00:29:15,098 --> 00:29:17,894 Right, right. The Tao-te Ching? 523 00:29:17,997 --> 00:29:21,138 No, it was on the sign back there at the rental place. 524 00:29:29,664 --> 00:29:30,872 Thank you. 525 00:29:35,428 --> 00:29:41,262 ♪ I once had a life Or rather, life had me♪ 526 00:29:41,365 --> 00:29:44,368 ♪ I was one among many♪ 527 00:29:44,472 --> 00:29:47,924 ♪ Or at least I seemed to be♪ 528 00:29:48,027 --> 00:29:54,862 ♪ Well, I read an old quotation In a book just yesterday♪ 529 00:29:54,965 --> 00:29:57,899 ♪ Said "Gonna reap just what you sow♪ 530 00:29:58,003 --> 00:30:01,213 ♪ The debts you make You have to pay"♪ 531 00:30:01,316 --> 00:30:03,042 ♪ Can you get to that?♪ 532 00:30:03,698 --> 00:30:05,148 What? What? 533 00:30:07,391 --> 00:30:09,393 I was hoping to invite you to breakfast, 534 00:30:09,497 --> 00:30:12,155 but it looks like you still have work to do. 535 00:30:13,121 --> 00:30:14,882 Uh, wait, wait, wait. 536 00:30:14,985 --> 00:30:16,504 Wait. Wait, wait, wait. 537 00:30:16,607 --> 00:30:18,609 I believe this says 538 00:30:18,713 --> 00:30:20,715 "rest" or "resting." 539 00:30:20,819 --> 00:30:23,718 So it would be, "Kalaman and his treasure..." 540 00:30:23,822 --> 00:30:28,309 And then there are some missing pieces, and then "rest," "resting," 541 00:30:28,412 --> 00:30:31,830 and something about "tears," so... 542 00:30:33,624 --> 00:30:34,625 Resting where? 543 00:30:34,729 --> 00:30:35,937 Hmm? Oh! 544 00:30:36,041 --> 00:30:38,802 Didn't say. It doesn't say. 545 00:30:40,148 --> 00:30:43,151 Miss Sage, I need you to do better. 546 00:30:43,255 --> 00:30:46,706 Then next time maybe don't kidnap a romance novelist, hmm? 547 00:30:46,810 --> 00:30:49,019 My God, this shouldn't be this hard! 548 00:30:49,123 --> 00:30:51,056 It is not some pauper's grave we're looking for. 549 00:30:51,159 --> 00:30:53,437 It is a monument to a great man! 550 00:30:53,541 --> 00:30:55,474 King Kalaman was ambitious, he was powerful, 551 00:30:55,577 --> 00:30:58,028 he was the first man to build a city in the Atlantic. 552 00:30:58,132 --> 00:31:00,789 The eyes of his subjects would have turned to him. 553 00:31:00,893 --> 00:31:04,138 He would have had a pyramid, a ziggurat, a tower 554 00:31:04,241 --> 00:31:06,209 to hold his Crown of Fire. 555 00:31:06,312 --> 00:31:09,212 All I need to know is where it is. 556 00:31:09,315 --> 00:31:12,560 I don't know if you recall, but you only said translate it. 557 00:31:12,663 --> 00:31:14,803 I-I translated it. 558 00:31:15,597 --> 00:31:17,185 Translate it again. 559 00:31:22,811 --> 00:31:25,849 One day, we're gonna laugh about this. 560 00:31:25,953 --> 00:31:28,093 Such an adventure we're having. 561 00:31:31,199 --> 00:31:35,548 I should go with you, just for backup and awesomeness. 562 00:31:36,515 --> 00:31:38,172 This is pretty awesome. 563 00:31:38,275 --> 00:31:40,933 You got nature, the radio. 564 00:31:42,072 --> 00:31:45,696 Yeah, you're right, but it's very, very important to me 565 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:47,664 that she knows that I came to rescue her. 566 00:31:47,767 --> 00:31:49,459 Why? Do you like this woman? 567 00:31:50,460 --> 00:31:52,669 No, I just brought snacks and stuff. 568 00:31:52,772 --> 00:31:54,947 And she gets a little grumpy when she's hungry. 569 00:31:55,051 --> 00:31:58,468 Blood pressure drops. And I get that because I'm a five-meal-a-day kind of guy. 570 00:31:58,571 --> 00:32:01,367 Do you keto, by the way? You look like you keto. 571 00:32:01,471 --> 00:32:03,162 No.No. Yeah. 572 00:32:03,266 --> 00:32:04,992 You don't need it. 573 00:32:05,095 --> 00:32:06,579 What is it? 574 00:32:06,683 --> 00:32:10,273 I just want her to think of me as more than a cover model. 575 00:32:10,376 --> 00:32:14,622 But, Alan, you are so much more. You're my lookout. 576 00:32:14,725 --> 00:32:18,074 Okay, can I at least do the part where I put her in the car 577 00:32:18,177 --> 00:32:21,905 and I just go, "Shh. You're safe now"? 578 00:32:22,975 --> 00:32:24,977 Sure, champ. She'll love that. 579 00:32:25,081 --> 00:32:26,945 Oh, you're just going? Going to start? 580 00:32:27,048 --> 00:32:29,464 You're starting the mission now? Okay. 581 00:32:53,661 --> 00:32:55,870 Oh! 582 00:33:04,913 --> 00:33:06,398 Go to sleep. 583 00:33:06,501 --> 00:33:08,158 ♪ Take a little walk To the edge of town♪ 584 00:33:08,262 --> 00:33:10,989 ♪ And go across the tracks♪ 585 00:33:12,335 --> 00:33:16,442 ♪ Where the viaduct looms Like a bird of doom♪ 586 00:33:16,546 --> 00:33:20,653 ♪ As it shifts and cracks♪ 587 00:33:20,757 --> 00:33:26,521 ♪ Where secrets lie In the border fires In the humming wires♪ 588 00:33:26,625 --> 00:33:29,766 ♪ Hey, man, you know You're never coming back♪ 589 00:33:29,869 --> 00:33:32,079 ♪ Past the square Past the bridge♪ 590 00:33:32,182 --> 00:33:35,116 ♪ Past the mills Past the stacks♪ 591 00:33:35,220 --> 00:33:36,359 Alan.What? 592 00:33:36,462 --> 00:33:38,223 This is a breach of trust, Alan. 593 00:33:38,326 --> 00:33:39,879 I can help. Let me help. 594 00:33:39,983 --> 00:33:43,159 ♪ A tall handsome man In a dusty black coat♪ 595 00:33:43,262 --> 00:33:45,920 Stay close. Stay alive. 596 00:33:50,787 --> 00:33:52,030 Hey. 597 00:33:54,446 --> 00:33:56,862 ♪ He'll wrap you in his arms♪ 598 00:33:56,965 --> 00:33:58,484 Go to sleep. 599 00:33:58,588 --> 00:34:00,762 ♪ Tell you that you've Been a good boy♪ 600 00:34:00,866 --> 00:34:04,973 I got his head. What do I do with his head? I'm just gonna set him down. 601 00:34:11,118 --> 00:34:12,326 No. 602 00:34:12,912 --> 00:34:14,086 Hey, hey, no! 603 00:34:14,190 --> 00:34:15,398 No, no, no! 604 00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:19,747 ♪ There won't be a single thing That you can do♪ 605 00:34:19,850 --> 00:34:22,853 ♪ He's a god, he's a man He's a ghost, he's a guru♪ 606 00:34:22,957 --> 00:34:24,786 Ooh, yeah! Ooh. 607 00:34:24,890 --> 00:34:25,856 Ow. 608 00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:27,513 Teamwork, yeah! 609 00:34:27,617 --> 00:34:30,896 Great effort, Alan, but that man was already unconscious. 610 00:34:30,999 --> 00:34:32,691 I was already wound up. 611 00:34:33,623 --> 00:34:36,384 Just don't do it when I'm... 612 00:34:39,456 --> 00:34:40,733 Hi. 613 00:34:42,977 --> 00:34:44,703 -Oh! 614 00:34:45,980 --> 00:34:47,602 On your seven! 615 00:34:52,538 --> 00:34:53,608 Oh! 616 00:34:58,406 --> 00:35:00,339 Trainer, he's not asleep! 617 00:35:00,443 --> 00:35:02,617 Stay-- Stay down. Stay down. 618 00:35:05,275 --> 00:35:07,795 -You're doing great. -Thanks. 619 00:35:07,898 --> 00:35:09,417 Where you going? 620 00:35:09,521 --> 00:35:12,282 ♪ Through the ghettos And the barrio♪ 621 00:35:12,386 --> 00:35:14,905 ♪ And the Bowery and the slums♪What? 622 00:35:17,563 --> 00:35:19,047 Loretta Sage? 623 00:35:19,531 --> 00:35:20,325 Yes. 624 00:35:20,428 --> 00:35:22,292 I'm getting you out of here. 625 00:35:23,328 --> 00:35:26,365 Why are you so handsome?My dad was a weatherman. 626 00:35:28,574 --> 00:35:29,403 A-Alan? 627 00:35:29,506 --> 00:35:31,543 Yeah.What are you doing here? 628 00:35:31,646 --> 00:35:34,442 -Uh, irregardless, I'm here to save you. -That's not... 629 00:35:34,546 --> 00:35:36,789 -I think he meant "regardless." -Yes. 630 00:35:38,205 --> 00:35:42,174 Ooh, uh, does she need saving in there, Trainer? I think she's fine there. 631 00:35:42,278 --> 00:35:45,453 No, no, leave it. Don't take their stuff. They'll come after us. 632 00:35:48,111 --> 00:35:49,664 Alan, why do you keep doing that? 633 00:35:49,768 --> 00:35:51,735 Why do you keep doing that? I had that one. 634 00:35:51,839 --> 00:35:54,359 It's just getting mean now. It's unnecessary. 635 00:35:54,462 --> 00:35:56,223 I'm sorry. I just wanted to get one in. 636 00:35:56,326 --> 00:35:59,398 -Excuse me. Would it be possible to remove me from the chair? -No time. 637 00:35:59,502 --> 00:36:01,918 -No time? There's been so much chitchat. 638 00:36:02,021 --> 00:36:03,333 We should definitely go. 639 00:36:03,437 --> 00:36:05,059 Let's go! Let's go! 640 00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:08,131 ♪ We're running with The shadows of the night♪ 641 00:36:08,235 --> 00:36:12,411 ♪ So, baby, take my hand It'll be all right♪ 642 00:36:12,515 --> 00:36:16,519 ♪ They'll come true in the end♪ 643 00:36:30,912 --> 00:36:32,051 Why are things exploding? 644 00:36:39,714 --> 00:36:40,750 I got-- 645 00:36:42,407 --> 00:36:43,615 Okay. 646 00:36:44,512 --> 00:36:45,789 Shh... 647 00:36:45,893 --> 00:36:47,791 Shh. You're safe now. 648 00:36:47,895 --> 00:36:49,034 You're... 649 00:36:49,137 --> 00:36:51,278 How-- How are you so calm? 650 00:36:51,381 --> 00:36:53,866 That was my-- That was my line.Here. 651 00:36:56,006 --> 00:36:57,905 What?Is that Reiki? 652 00:36:58,008 --> 00:37:00,459 Are you healing me?I think so. 653 00:37:00,563 --> 00:37:03,773 -Ah. -As Laozi says, "To the mind that is still..." 654 00:37:03,876 --> 00:37:06,776 "...the whole universe surrenders."Hey, yeah, I know some-- 655 00:37:06,879 --> 00:37:09,675 I know some, um, quotes that could be good for this moment. 656 00:37:09,779 --> 00:37:11,505 In omnia paratus. 657 00:37:12,402 --> 00:37:14,266 "Ready for anything." 658 00:37:14,370 --> 00:37:17,027 Maybe we shouldn't be just staring lovingly into each other's eyes 659 00:37:17,131 --> 00:37:20,583 like you're gonna fall in love like I'm not here. 660 00:37:21,135 --> 00:37:22,101 Who are you? 661 00:37:22,205 --> 00:37:24,932 Just a guy trying to do his job. 662 00:37:25,035 --> 00:37:27,831 And right now, that job is to get this lovely lady-- 663 00:37:28,660 --> 00:37:30,178 Oh! Oh. 664 00:37:30,282 --> 00:37:32,180 Oh, God. Okay. 665 00:37:33,354 --> 00:37:35,563 -No. What is happening? 666 00:37:39,015 --> 00:37:40,982 Okay. What do we do? 667 00:37:41,086 --> 00:37:43,191 We need to do-- I can't see. 668 00:37:43,295 --> 00:37:44,710 I don't like it! 669 00:37:44,814 --> 00:37:46,298 Here. Here! 670 00:37:46,402 --> 00:37:48,852 -Why would you throw a gun? -Seriously? 671 00:37:50,233 --> 00:37:53,063 Get me out of the chair.I can't. We don't have time. 672 00:37:56,619 --> 00:37:58,690 Gotta squeeze! You got to do a Kegel or something! 673 00:37:58,793 --> 00:38:01,175 -Kegel it! -What do you think a Kegel is? 674 00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:03,660 I'm not in it, not in! Still not in! 675 00:38:03,764 --> 00:38:06,145 -You got to go in more. -Stop. Stop. Stop it! 676 00:38:06,249 --> 00:38:08,251 Oh, oh, oh! 677 00:38:08,355 --> 00:38:11,875 Oh, God. Get in the car, get in the car! Start the car! Start the car! 678 00:38:11,979 --> 00:38:13,256 -Go, go. -Move your leg. 679 00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:15,672 Which one?Both of them! Move them! 680 00:38:19,435 --> 00:38:21,402 Forward, forward!Okay. Okay. 681 00:38:21,506 --> 00:38:25,820 -I'm going! I'm going! Okay! -Drive! 682 00:38:26,959 --> 00:38:30,584 Shh. You're safe now. Shh. 683 00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:33,621 Ow. 684 00:38:33,725 --> 00:38:35,865 Shh. You're safe now.No, I'm not. Not safe. 685 00:38:35,968 --> 00:38:37,729 Oh, no, am I bleeding? 686 00:38:37,832 --> 00:38:40,835 -I don't think that's yours. -Oh, no, that's a lot of blood. 687 00:38:42,147 --> 00:38:43,976 Cheese and rice! 688 00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:45,564 Are those his brains?What? 689 00:38:45,668 --> 00:38:47,635 I think his brains are on my face! 690 00:38:47,739 --> 00:38:51,363 Definitely his brains are in my mouth. I can taste his thoughts! 691 00:38:51,467 --> 00:38:52,675 Focus on the road. 692 00:38:52,778 --> 00:38:54,918 He just liked training people. Trainer. 693 00:38:55,022 --> 00:38:57,887 -What are you talking about? -He loved me. 694 00:38:57,990 --> 00:39:00,579 Can you just scooch the car over to the left? 695 00:39:00,683 --> 00:39:04,411 Get it off. Get it off.Oh, God. 696 00:39:04,514 --> 00:39:05,791 Watch out! 697 00:39:10,002 --> 00:39:12,902 Oh! Oh! Oh! 698 00:39:15,145 --> 00:39:16,906 Oh, did you see... 699 00:39:19,874 --> 00:39:20,910 No. 700 00:39:26,329 --> 00:39:27,641 Oh. 701 00:39:29,090 --> 00:39:31,403 Oh, no. Oh, no. 702 00:39:31,955 --> 00:39:33,440 Oh, no. 703 00:39:41,862 --> 00:39:43,415 Oh, no. 704 00:39:46,004 --> 00:39:49,594 Oh, holy Christmas. Are you okay? Are you okay? 705 00:39:49,697 --> 00:39:51,768 Do you think you could get me out of here? 706 00:39:51,872 --> 00:39:53,425 Yeah. Okay. 707 00:39:53,529 --> 00:39:56,428 You just flew out of the car.I did. I did, indeed. 708 00:39:56,532 --> 00:39:57,981 Okay. I got you. I got you. 709 00:39:58,085 --> 00:40:00,536 Can you get me out of the chair? Get me out of the chair. 710 00:40:00,639 --> 00:40:02,469 You're right. You're right. You're right. 711 00:40:03,815 --> 00:40:05,644 Is that-- Is that a nail filer?Yeah. 712 00:40:05,748 --> 00:40:07,232 Can you just rip it?It's working. 713 00:40:07,335 --> 00:40:09,130 And maybe next time I toss a gun at you, 714 00:40:09,234 --> 00:40:11,132 you can catch it instead of ducking. 715 00:40:11,236 --> 00:40:14,446 How about the next time you toss a gun at me, you say, "Hey, Alan, catch"? 716 00:40:14,550 --> 00:40:16,414 Then maybe do that before you throw it? 717 00:40:16,517 --> 00:40:18,623 Well, "here" is a synonym for "catch." 718 00:40:18,726 --> 00:40:20,245 No, "here" is not a cinnamon for "catch." 719 00:40:20,348 --> 00:40:22,420 In a colloquial kind of way, yes, it is. 720 00:40:22,523 --> 00:40:24,629 You say, "Here," I toss you a sweatshirt. 721 00:40:24,732 --> 00:40:26,734 You say, "Here," I toss you a pen. 722 00:40:26,838 --> 00:40:29,910 How 'bout just, "Hey! Catch! Gun!" 723 00:40:30,013 --> 00:40:33,016 Anything that you want to throw, I'll catch it because you said, "Catch." 724 00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:34,880 And I'll catch it because you said it. 725 00:40:34,984 --> 00:40:37,400 That is also an option, and then we would have a gun with us. 726 00:40:37,504 --> 00:40:38,608 That's a thing. 727 00:40:38,712 --> 00:40:40,990 Be careful.Okay, we need to call-- 728 00:40:41,093 --> 00:40:42,750 Be careful. 729 00:40:42,854 --> 00:40:45,373 We need to call for help, get to the airport and get out of here. 730 00:40:45,477 --> 00:40:47,479 And I am driving.Okay. 731 00:40:49,688 --> 00:40:52,553 Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh! 732 00:41:02,287 --> 00:41:04,669 Okay, call for-- call for help. 733 00:41:04,772 --> 00:41:06,567 Where's your phone? 734 00:41:09,950 --> 00:41:10,985 Okay. 735 00:41:14,610 --> 00:41:17,440 -Tell me you caught them. -I tagged the blond one. 736 00:41:19,097 --> 00:41:21,927 Oh, Loretta. 737 00:41:22,031 --> 00:41:24,102 What are you thinking? 738 00:41:24,205 --> 00:41:27,312 You might've killed one of them, but his partner's still with her. 739 00:41:27,415 --> 00:41:31,074 And he is clearly skilled, highly trained 740 00:41:32,075 --> 00:41:33,732 and very dangerous. 741 00:41:43,535 --> 00:41:47,608 So, Miss Sage said she was gonna leave the event, 742 00:41:47,712 --> 00:41:52,371 then got in a car and left the event? 743 00:41:52,475 --> 00:41:55,167 -Did you try calling her? -She doesn't have her phone. 744 00:41:55,271 --> 00:41:56,686 Stolen phone.Didn't say that. 745 00:41:56,790 --> 00:41:58,550 Where's my magnifier? 746 00:41:58,654 --> 00:42:00,656 Listen, can you please help with Nana? 747 00:42:00,759 --> 00:42:03,141 I don't want her hearing about Loretta 'cause it's going to upset her. 748 00:42:03,244 --> 00:42:06,316 -What about Loretta? -Nothing, Nana. She just went on a trip. 749 00:42:06,420 --> 00:42:07,697 Yeah. 750 00:42:07,801 --> 00:42:10,251 That girl needed to get out of the house. 751 00:42:10,355 --> 00:42:14,532 So, this is the thing. Loretta's phone is not stolen. I took it. 752 00:42:14,635 --> 00:42:19,088 I gave it to Alan. Alan then gave it to the trainer, uh, Jack Trainer. 753 00:42:19,191 --> 00:42:21,469 And that is how we found her wearable. 754 00:42:21,573 --> 00:42:23,264 And who's Alan?Dash. 755 00:42:23,368 --> 00:42:26,198 -What's that? -He's the hero in all of her books. 756 00:42:26,302 --> 00:42:29,339 -Nana. Hey, slut. -Mm-mmm. 757 00:42:29,443 --> 00:42:32,377 Let's go in the other room and talk about whichever war you lived through. 758 00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:35,622 Okay. Come on, it'll be fun. I'm sorry. It'll be fun. 759 00:42:35,725 --> 00:42:37,658 Listen, Loretta Sage is missing. 760 00:42:37,762 --> 00:42:39,971 When I looked at her smartwatch, it said that she had flown 761 00:42:40,074 --> 00:42:41,731 to some island I've never even heard about. 762 00:42:41,835 --> 00:42:43,561 That means y'all need to do something about this. 763 00:42:43,664 --> 00:42:46,046 And if you can't, I will, and that won't look good for you. 764 00:42:46,149 --> 00:42:48,876 Pretty sure that's outside our jurisdiction. 765 00:42:48,980 --> 00:42:52,017 -You'd have to call the Feds. -Okay. 766 00:42:52,121 --> 00:42:54,502 And if you do go to the Feds, put in a good word for me. 767 00:42:54,606 --> 00:42:56,988 For me.For us. 768 00:43:02,614 --> 00:43:04,133 Oh, oh. 769 00:43:11,174 --> 00:43:13,418 What are you gonna do, put the car back together? 770 00:43:13,521 --> 00:43:15,731 Well... we could-- 771 00:43:31,643 --> 00:43:34,335 Where did you say the phone was?Passenger glove. 772 00:43:34,439 --> 00:43:36,199 What?Passenger glove compartment. 773 00:43:36,303 --> 00:43:37,545 Goodness. 774 00:43:38,650 --> 00:43:40,169 Oh, my God. 775 00:43:40,272 --> 00:43:42,516 Oh, my God. No phone, no car. We're so gonna die out-- 776 00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:44,345 Here.What is this? 777 00:43:44,449 --> 00:43:46,106 Boots for the jungle. 778 00:43:46,969 --> 00:43:48,798 It's not exactly hiking boots, but... 779 00:43:48,902 --> 00:43:51,559 I figured your feet would be killing you after wearing heels for this long. 780 00:43:51,663 --> 00:43:54,010 It was the best we could do. They're Allison's. Sorry. 781 00:43:54,804 --> 00:43:56,875 Oh. Okay, well, thank you. 782 00:43:56,979 --> 00:43:58,774 Here, oh, I got you cheese. 783 00:43:58,877 --> 00:44:00,672 Oh, my God.You got to stay hydrated. 784 00:44:00,776 --> 00:44:02,743 Thank you so much.They didn't have glass bottles, 785 00:44:02,847 --> 00:44:04,849 so we'll definitely hold onto it and recycle. 786 00:44:07,437 --> 00:44:12,132 Okay, so what we need to do is find a phone, we need to call the authorities, 787 00:44:12,235 --> 00:44:15,135 and we need to wait here until somebody comes and rescues us. 788 00:44:15,238 --> 00:44:18,759 Uh... This... This is the rescue. 789 00:44:18,863 --> 00:44:20,140 No one else is coming. 790 00:44:20,243 --> 00:44:22,211 I'm sorry?I'm the rescue. 791 00:44:22,314 --> 00:44:25,248 It was originally just gonna be me, then I was like, Trainer should come. 792 00:44:25,352 --> 00:44:27,078 Oh, Trainer. Rest in peace. 793 00:44:27,181 --> 00:44:31,427 So, our best bet is to get to the airport. See this road right here? 794 00:44:31,530 --> 00:44:34,223 From this area, just take a shortcut through the jungle to the road. 795 00:44:34,326 --> 00:44:36,225 Did you just say "shortcut through the jungle"? 796 00:44:36,328 --> 00:44:37,847 Yeah.Okay, do you see us? 797 00:44:37,951 --> 00:44:40,470 Uh-huh.You are not Dash, and I'm not Lovemore. Okay? 798 00:44:40,574 --> 00:44:41,989 I'm Loretta, and you are Alan. 799 00:44:42,093 --> 00:44:44,405 And jungles eat people like us, okay?Eat people. 800 00:44:44,509 --> 00:44:47,823 And I don't want to mess up the jumpsuit. It's on loan. So we're gonna stay put. 801 00:44:47,926 --> 00:44:49,859 We're not just gonna stand around here, okay? 802 00:44:49,963 --> 00:44:51,343 We're gonna go through the jungle, 803 00:44:51,447 --> 00:44:53,552 we're gonna go to the airport and find a phone, 804 00:44:53,656 --> 00:44:56,659 -so you can have your cake and get what you want. -"And eat it too"? 805 00:44:56,763 --> 00:44:59,213 If that's what you want to do with your cake, fine. Let's go. 806 00:44:59,317 --> 00:45:01,250 -That's the only thing you do with cake. -Not mine. 807 00:45:01,353 --> 00:45:03,804 I don't know what your people do, but my people eat it. 808 00:45:03,908 --> 00:45:06,117 You could give it to someone as a gift. 809 00:45:06,220 --> 00:45:08,429 Those people are still going to eat the cake. 810 00:45:08,533 --> 00:45:10,086 Everybody eats cake. 811 00:45:10,190 --> 00:45:12,019 What about the kind people jump out of? 812 00:45:12,123 --> 00:45:15,057 They don't eat it, when they're in it.Oh, my God. 813 00:45:41,359 --> 00:45:42,947 What did they kidnap you for anyhow? 814 00:45:43,050 --> 00:45:44,914 Is it some weird sex stuff like Taken? 815 00:45:45,018 --> 00:45:46,571 Oh, my God, thank you. 816 00:45:46,674 --> 00:45:49,401 I thought so too, but the guy's one of the Fairfaxes. 817 00:45:49,505 --> 00:45:51,334 Beverly?No, the older one. 818 00:45:51,438 --> 00:45:54,890 The really odd one that had the vlog on finding Montezuma's treasure. 819 00:45:54,993 --> 00:45:57,409 The dude that was on the news for trying to raise the Titanic? 820 00:45:57,513 --> 00:45:59,308 Yes, he's looking for the Crown of Fire. 821 00:45:59,411 --> 00:46:03,381 Wait a minute. Like the actual Crown of Fire? Like the one... 822 00:46:03,484 --> 00:46:06,833 So those ruins were--They were the Lost City of D, yes. 823 00:46:06,936 --> 00:46:09,249 What? Are you kidding me right now?Shh. 824 00:46:09,352 --> 00:46:10,802 This is like your book. 825 00:46:10,906 --> 00:46:13,736 So we're basically on a Lovemore and Dash adventure right now? 826 00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:15,842 What is that? 827 00:46:15,945 --> 00:46:18,430 What if Fairfax actually finds the crown? 828 00:46:18,534 --> 00:46:19,915 He won't. He won't. 829 00:46:22,089 --> 00:46:23,194 Where do we go?Uh... 830 00:46:23,297 --> 00:46:25,265 Oh, oh, oh. 831 00:46:28,337 --> 00:46:30,477 Okay, uh, we need to get in the water. 832 00:46:30,580 --> 00:46:32,686 W-What?We need to go by river. 833 00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:34,619 No, no, I don't really do water. 834 00:46:34,722 --> 00:46:37,070 What do you mean, "do water"? I'm not asking you to procreate with it. 835 00:46:37,173 --> 00:46:39,624 Uh, my body and water don't really go together. 836 00:46:39,727 --> 00:46:42,075 How do you feel about dying? Oh, God. 837 00:46:42,178 --> 00:46:44,042 Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're okay. You're okay. 838 00:46:44,146 --> 00:46:46,976 I got you. Fine.I can swim. I can swim. Thank you very much. 839 00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:49,151 Where are you going?I'm crossing. 840 00:46:49,254 --> 00:46:51,222 No, we have to stay in the water. 841 00:46:51,325 --> 00:46:53,776 I researched aquatic counter-tracking for my book, A Year in the Bush. 842 00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:55,882 They'll lose our tracks in the water. 843 00:46:55,985 --> 00:46:58,781 Why is it warm here? Wait, are you peeing? 844 00:46:58,885 --> 00:47:00,887 Just go around it. 845 00:47:29,674 --> 00:47:31,193 Okay, I think... 846 00:47:31,296 --> 00:47:33,195 I think we lost them, right? 847 00:47:33,298 --> 00:47:36,301 Yeah. That wasn't so bad. Yeah. 848 00:47:36,405 --> 00:47:38,062 Okay, uh... 849 00:47:38,165 --> 00:47:40,581 Don't panic.What do you mean, don't panic? 850 00:47:40,685 --> 00:47:41,893 -Just don't panic. -No. 851 00:47:41,997 --> 00:47:43,757 Stop saying "panic." I'm panicking now. 852 00:47:43,861 --> 00:47:45,724 You have something on your back. 853 00:47:47,243 --> 00:47:48,037 No! 854 00:47:48,141 --> 00:47:49,625 Stop screaming.What is that? 855 00:47:49,728 --> 00:47:50,971 What is that?Stop screaming. 856 00:47:51,075 --> 00:47:52,524 Do you have any on you?No. No. 857 00:47:52,628 --> 00:47:54,078 Why don't you have any on you? 858 00:47:54,181 --> 00:47:55,976 Maybe the jumpsuit scared them off. I don't know. 859 00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:57,598 Get 'em off.Oh, my God. 860 00:47:57,702 --> 00:48:00,222 Okay. No, I can't touch those blood-gorged mucous sacks. 861 00:48:00,325 --> 00:48:01,775 Can you fling it?Right now. 862 00:48:01,879 --> 00:48:03,259 Get it.Just pick it and fling it. 863 00:48:03,363 --> 00:48:05,261 Just pick it and fling it.You pick it and fling it! 864 00:48:05,365 --> 00:48:07,436 Can you spin it off?Please, get it off. 865 00:48:07,539 --> 00:48:09,576 I don't like touching it. I'm feeling faint. 866 00:48:09,679 --> 00:48:12,786 They're sucking my soul out.Okay, okay. Stop, stop, stop. 867 00:48:14,443 --> 00:48:16,686 Don't make that sound. 868 00:48:20,276 --> 00:48:21,760 How many of them are there? 869 00:48:21,864 --> 00:48:23,383 Oh, there's not many. 870 00:48:23,486 --> 00:48:25,488 It feels like there's so many.What are you-- 871 00:48:25,592 --> 00:48:26,904 I feel so many.Oh! 872 00:48:27,007 --> 00:48:29,561 Holy mother of God!Why are you praying? 873 00:48:29,665 --> 00:48:32,702 Is it that bad? It can't be that bad. Is it that bad? How many? 874 00:48:32,806 --> 00:48:34,049 It's not great. 875 00:48:34,152 --> 00:48:35,809 They're gonna suck every bit of me out. 876 00:48:35,913 --> 00:48:38,570 Just please stop speaking. I just need to-- need to get low. 877 00:48:38,674 --> 00:48:40,400 Hold on a second. 878 00:48:40,503 --> 00:48:43,299 Oh, God! I can feel them just-- they're just sucking out so much. 879 00:48:43,403 --> 00:48:46,268 I'm gonna be like a shriveled-up skin sack when they're done. 880 00:48:46,371 --> 00:48:48,339 You cannot tell my dad I died this way, okay? 881 00:48:48,442 --> 00:48:52,481 You gotta tell him I was wrestling an anaconda with a sword or something. 882 00:48:52,584 --> 00:48:55,380 I'm like a blood Jamba Juice. They're just sucking it all out. 883 00:48:55,484 --> 00:48:57,106 Why are they all on my butt though? 884 00:48:57,210 --> 00:48:59,833 Kind of like picking anchovies off my Caesar salad. 885 00:48:59,937 --> 00:49:01,662 -It's actually not so bad. -Anchovies? 886 00:49:01,766 --> 00:49:03,354 Why do you go to food right now? 887 00:49:03,457 --> 00:49:06,322 Just find the queen, and let's be done with this. 888 00:49:06,426 --> 00:49:08,773 Think you're good. I need to just check your front. 889 00:49:08,876 --> 00:49:11,120 Okay. I can't look. 890 00:49:13,364 --> 00:49:14,675 Is it bad? 891 00:49:14,779 --> 00:49:17,885 Uh, wow.What is it? Just say it. 892 00:49:17,989 --> 00:49:21,337 I mean, you expect it to, you know, not... 893 00:49:21,441 --> 00:49:24,168 Then suddenly there it is, and it is, uh... 894 00:49:24,271 --> 00:49:26,515 You know, you get excited for a person.What? 895 00:49:26,618 --> 00:49:29,242 I mean, I'm excited for all people.Why are you excited? 896 00:49:29,345 --> 00:49:31,658 Well, you know, people wonder, they wonder, 897 00:49:31,761 --> 00:49:33,384 but they don't know, right? 898 00:49:33,487 --> 00:49:35,973 They don't, until suddenly they do know, 899 00:49:36,076 --> 00:49:40,391 and then they-- they know something that wasn't known before. 900 00:49:40,494 --> 00:49:42,358 Just-- Do I have any leeches or not? 901 00:49:42,462 --> 00:49:46,569 Oh, your plucky warrior hangs in tranquil solitude. 902 00:49:46,673 --> 00:49:47,777 What? 903 00:49:47,881 --> 00:49:50,021 No, you're good. You're good. 904 00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:52,886 We were so brave just then. 905 00:49:52,990 --> 00:49:55,233 Why do they go for the butt so much? 906 00:50:16,530 --> 00:50:19,395 What's that song you're singing? 907 00:50:19,499 --> 00:50:22,502 A song my abbiused to sing to me when I was a kid. 908 00:50:23,468 --> 00:50:26,126 "If you suck life from the island...Yeah? 909 00:50:26,230 --> 00:50:29,026 ...the island will suck of you." 910 00:50:29,129 --> 00:50:33,064 Your grandma sang you songs about getting sucked off by an island? 911 00:50:33,168 --> 00:50:35,515 It doesn't translate super well. 912 00:50:36,412 --> 00:50:39,243 Is phantom leech syndrome, like, a thing? 913 00:50:39,346 --> 00:50:41,348 They don't lay eggs, do they? 914 00:51:30,466 --> 00:51:31,674 Queen Taha? 915 00:51:45,274 --> 00:51:49,658 "King Kalaman and his treasure laid to rest... 916 00:51:50,590 --> 00:51:54,249 laid to rest in the well of endless tears. 917 00:51:54,352 --> 00:51:56,285 Laid to rest in the well of endless tears." 918 00:51:56,389 --> 00:51:58,253 What does that mean?Loretta! 919 00:51:58,943 --> 00:52:00,669 You gave me a heart attack. 920 00:52:01,359 --> 00:52:03,016 Where'd you go? 921 00:52:07,089 --> 00:52:08,642 What is this? 922 00:52:08,746 --> 00:52:11,990 I'm not sure, but maybe they gathered here? 923 00:52:14,545 --> 00:52:17,203 Can you imagine being right here, 924 00:52:17,306 --> 00:52:19,964 right in this very spot back then? 925 00:52:20,067 --> 00:52:21,793 The stories that they told? 926 00:52:21,897 --> 00:52:24,658 So much history I'm sure happened right here. 927 00:52:29,974 --> 00:52:31,355 They've got us cornered. 928 00:52:31,458 --> 00:52:33,150 Okay. We've got to go up. Come on.What? 929 00:52:33,253 --> 00:52:36,360 Have you seen what I'm wearing? I'm in a glitter straitjacket. 930 00:52:36,463 --> 00:52:39,432 There's nowhere to go but up. Come on. Let's go. 931 00:52:39,535 --> 00:52:43,090 Oh! I should not be doing this. I'm too old for this. 932 00:52:43,194 --> 00:52:44,299 No, you're not. You're beautiful. 933 00:52:44,402 --> 00:52:46,059 I didn't say I'm not beautiful. 934 00:52:46,163 --> 00:52:48,061 I said I'm too old to be doing this. 935 00:52:48,165 --> 00:52:51,789 My skill is sitting and thinking and eating when I can't think. 936 00:52:51,892 --> 00:52:54,309 Yeah, you definitely could be wearing better shoes for this. 937 00:52:54,412 --> 00:52:56,311 You brought me these shoes. 938 00:52:56,414 --> 00:52:58,968 I can't go any further. I can't go any further. 939 00:52:59,072 --> 00:53:00,798 I'm not doing so great here. 940 00:53:00,901 --> 00:53:02,317 You got it. Come on. 941 00:53:02,420 --> 00:53:04,284 I know you think that you're safer holding on, 942 00:53:04,388 --> 00:53:05,665 but you have to keep going. 943 00:53:05,768 --> 00:53:07,667 I can't. I can't, I can't.Okay? 944 00:53:08,461 --> 00:53:09,910 Do you smell that?Smell what? 945 00:53:10,014 --> 00:53:11,774 I smell something.Is it a predator? What is it? 946 00:53:11,878 --> 00:53:13,811 A downward cascading fire?You got to smell deeper. 947 00:53:13,914 --> 00:53:15,088 I don't smell anything! 948 00:53:18,505 --> 00:53:21,750 Take a big, deep breath. 949 00:53:21,853 --> 00:53:23,165 All right. 950 00:53:23,269 --> 00:53:24,891 Good job.Okay. 951 00:53:24,994 --> 00:53:28,619 That was manipulative. Thank you.Yeah, it was. 952 00:53:28,722 --> 00:53:31,208 Here we go. I'm gonna help you out a little bit, all right? 953 00:53:31,311 --> 00:53:33,382 -One, two, three... Here we go! -What are you doing? 954 00:53:33,486 --> 00:53:34,866 Get out of there.Come on. 955 00:53:34,970 --> 00:53:37,041 No, no, don't flex.That's my hoo-hoo. 956 00:53:37,144 --> 00:53:40,078 Just ride the head. Keep the hands moving and ride the head. 957 00:53:40,182 --> 00:53:41,494 Oh, God.You're doing great. 958 00:53:41,597 --> 00:53:44,255 Sorry about the scratchy haircut. Come on. 959 00:54:04,344 --> 00:54:06,588 Dulcius ex asperis. 960 00:54:07,174 --> 00:54:08,555 What was that? 961 00:54:08,659 --> 00:54:10,177 Oh, nothing. 962 00:54:10,281 --> 00:54:12,525 It was just something that John and I would say 963 00:54:12,628 --> 00:54:15,769 after we finished something big, like a... 964 00:54:15,873 --> 00:54:17,840 like an archaeological dig or a manuscript. 965 00:54:17,944 --> 00:54:21,258 It's Latin. It means "sweeter after difficulty." 966 00:54:22,397 --> 00:54:23,777 What's... 967 00:54:23,881 --> 00:54:25,814 What's Latin for "Loretta's a badass"? 968 00:54:25,917 --> 00:54:30,405 I am a badass. I climbed a mountain. 969 00:54:30,508 --> 00:54:33,477 Oh, my God. I wish Beth could've seen us do this. 970 00:54:33,580 --> 00:54:36,411 Oh, God. Beth.Don't worry about Beth. 971 00:54:36,514 --> 00:54:40,000 She's probably got the whole navy after us right now. 972 00:54:40,104 --> 00:54:43,176 I get that you think you have to go to the island authorities yourself, 973 00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:46,697 but don't worry, I'm keeping Loretta's socials super active. 974 00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:49,182 Just tweeted, "Did I just get kidnapped? 975 00:54:49,286 --> 00:54:52,806 #FML, @ShawnMendes, #ShawnMendes." 976 00:54:52,910 --> 00:54:54,567 And you're traveling alone? 977 00:54:54,670 --> 00:54:57,501 Yes, I'm traveling alone. Mm-hmm. I'm single. 978 00:54:58,087 --> 00:54:59,296 Then this might work. 979 00:54:59,399 --> 00:55:01,228 Okay! Talk to me.You'll hit New York. 980 00:55:01,332 --> 00:55:04,853 From there, you'll fly to Guinea, where you can pick up a puddle jumper. 981 00:55:04,956 --> 00:55:06,026 A what? 982 00:55:06,958 --> 00:55:08,443 Small plane.Yeah, no leg room. 983 00:55:08,546 --> 00:55:09,720 That's fine. I'll take it. 984 00:55:09,823 --> 00:55:11,860 Or you could just come home.Thank you. 985 00:55:19,730 --> 00:55:22,215 We need something more flammable. Everything is just so wet. 986 00:55:22,319 --> 00:55:23,837 What's in here? What's in your bag? 987 00:55:23,941 --> 00:55:25,805 Uh...Oh, a lot. Okay. 988 00:55:25,908 --> 00:55:27,358 What are you doing? 989 00:55:27,462 --> 00:55:29,326 Okay. Face masks. 990 00:55:29,429 --> 00:55:30,844 Yeah, that was like a gift-basket thing. 991 00:55:30,948 --> 00:55:32,915 You brought a scented candle into the jungle? 992 00:55:33,019 --> 00:55:34,296 My mom gave me that. 993 00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:35,953 It was like a weird gift for Mother's Day. 994 00:55:36,056 --> 00:55:38,335 Your mom gives you gifts for Mother's Day? 995 00:55:39,646 --> 00:55:40,440 Noir-- 996 00:55:40,544 --> 00:55:42,511 Eucalyptus rosemary oil. Ooh. 997 00:55:43,098 --> 00:55:44,375 Oh, that smells good. 998 00:55:44,479 --> 00:55:46,653 Um-- Oh, okay. All right. 999 00:55:46,757 --> 00:55:48,379 Whoo! Yes! 1000 00:55:48,483 --> 00:55:50,933 Yes, I made fire! 1001 00:55:51,037 --> 00:55:54,592 -That's pretty impressive. You have to-- -It is a beautiful fire. 1002 00:55:54,696 --> 00:55:56,629 Who would have thought? 1003 00:55:56,732 --> 00:55:59,217 Oh, you're just, um, taking your shirt off? 1004 00:56:00,322 --> 00:56:02,359 That looks really uncomfortable. 1005 00:56:02,462 --> 00:56:04,361 Are you okay? The back? 1006 00:56:04,464 --> 00:56:08,537 Yeah. That is why I don't do water. 1007 00:56:08,641 --> 00:56:10,919 Okay.My body becomes an eighth-grader's face. 1008 00:56:11,022 --> 00:56:13,887 Do you have anything for it? Like some ointment or something? 1009 00:56:13,991 --> 00:56:15,889 Yeah, I do. Well, I did. 1010 00:56:15,993 --> 00:56:18,064 It was in a little, tiny little bottle. 1011 00:56:18,167 --> 00:56:20,135 It was this. I'm sorry. 1012 00:56:20,238 --> 00:56:22,275 Oh, God, I'm sorry. 1013 00:56:22,379 --> 00:56:23,725 It's okay. 1014 00:56:23,828 --> 00:56:26,141 -Hold on. Yes. Come here. Come here. -What? 1015 00:56:26,244 --> 00:56:28,661 -Come here. Sit down. -Let me see. 1016 00:56:28,764 --> 00:56:30,248 Just sit down.Right here? 1017 00:56:30,352 --> 00:56:31,560 Yeah. 1018 00:56:32,768 --> 00:56:34,391 Okay. 1019 00:56:34,494 --> 00:56:36,358 Oh, no, you don't have to touch it. It's okay. It's fine. 1020 00:56:36,462 --> 00:56:38,464 I touched your engorged sacks, so... 1021 00:56:40,673 --> 00:56:42,399 The leeches.Oh, okay. 1022 00:56:42,502 --> 00:56:45,298 Okay, this might be a little bit cold. 1023 00:56:46,472 --> 00:56:48,197 Sorry.Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. 1024 00:56:48,301 --> 00:56:49,578 Sorry, sorry, sorry. 1025 00:56:49,682 --> 00:56:51,649 Maybe this is how Dash should die. 1026 00:56:51,753 --> 00:56:54,790 Horrible eczema outbreak. That's so sexy. 1027 00:56:54,894 --> 00:56:56,413 I could make it work. 1028 00:56:56,861 --> 00:56:57,897 Yeah? 1029 00:56:58,553 --> 00:57:00,002 All right, then. 1030 00:57:01,279 --> 00:57:03,005 How would you write this? 1031 00:57:03,109 --> 00:57:04,593 Okay. 1032 00:57:06,492 --> 00:57:09,805 "Warmed by the fragrant fire..." 1033 00:57:09,909 --> 00:57:12,359 Mm-hmm. 1034 00:57:12,463 --> 00:57:14,361 Starting strong.Mm-hmm. 1035 00:57:14,465 --> 00:57:17,572 "Lovemore's hands explored the... 1036 00:57:19,332 --> 00:57:21,817 the contoured scenery 1037 00:57:21,921 --> 00:57:23,509 of Dash's body. 1038 00:57:25,649 --> 00:57:28,341 Familiar terrain made 1039 00:57:28,445 --> 00:57:30,792 new and exciting with every... 1040 00:57:31,724 --> 00:57:34,071 with every scarlet rim." 1041 00:57:35,175 --> 00:57:36,867 And that didn't, uh... 1042 00:57:37,695 --> 00:57:39,214 didn't turn her off? 1043 00:57:39,317 --> 00:57:40,526 No. 1044 00:57:41,354 --> 00:57:43,183 "Because with every cardinal ridge, 1045 00:57:44,184 --> 00:57:46,601 Lovemore discovered another letter in the language 1046 00:57:46,704 --> 00:57:48,810 that only their bodies spoke." 1047 00:57:49,845 --> 00:57:51,882 And what were their bodies saying? 1048 00:57:53,849 --> 00:57:55,402 "Take me... 1049 00:57:57,301 --> 00:57:58,923 take me, 1050 00:57:59,510 --> 00:58:01,201 take me." 1051 00:58:01,305 --> 00:58:02,617 How's that? 1052 00:58:03,445 --> 00:58:04,722 It was good. 1053 00:58:04,826 --> 00:58:06,552 Your back. I mean, how is your back?Good. 1054 00:58:06,655 --> 00:58:08,070 Okay. You sure?Yeah. 1055 00:58:08,174 --> 00:58:12,730 I also meant my back. Right there, yeah.Okay. 1056 00:58:20,980 --> 00:58:22,015 Supplies. 1057 00:58:24,155 --> 00:58:28,435 Okay, I'm chilly. I think I'm gonna probably turn in in a little bit. 1058 00:58:28,539 --> 00:58:29,747 Okay.You good? 1059 00:58:29,851 --> 00:58:32,509 Yeah, I'm fire-- fine. I'm fine. 1060 00:58:32,612 --> 00:58:35,546 I'm not "fire." I'm fine by the fire. 1061 00:58:36,236 --> 00:58:37,962 Okay. All right. 1062 00:58:45,867 --> 00:58:49,180 Uh, it's up to you, but if you're cold, 1063 00:58:49,284 --> 00:58:53,495 maybe we could probably both fit in here, if you wanted to. 1064 00:58:54,151 --> 00:58:55,877 Both of us? 1065 00:58:55,980 --> 00:58:59,018 Only if you want to. I mean, it's just--Yeah, no, that sounds... 1066 00:58:59,121 --> 00:59:00,606 Uh... 1067 00:59:00,709 --> 00:59:02,090 Okay. How do you... 1068 00:59:02,193 --> 00:59:04,161 You can go first, then I'll figure it out. 1069 00:59:04,264 --> 00:59:07,405 No, no, you go. It's definitely a "ladies first" type of situation. 1070 00:59:07,509 --> 00:59:10,167 Keep hands out of the bag at all times.That's what I was gonna do. 1071 00:59:10,270 --> 00:59:11,927 Butt to butt.Hands out and butt to butt. 1072 00:59:12,031 --> 00:59:15,344 Yeah. What do I do?Just get in. Go ahead and sit. 1073 00:59:15,448 --> 00:59:18,140 I sit first? Okay. I'm in. 1074 00:59:19,694 --> 00:59:22,282 You're too heavy. You're gonna flip this thing like a cruise ship. 1075 00:59:22,386 --> 00:59:25,044 You watch yourself. Hold on. I'm not in. 1076 00:59:25,147 --> 00:59:28,323 Why is this engaging my core so much? 1077 00:59:29,117 --> 00:59:31,015 How 'bout you shimmy? 1078 00:59:31,119 --> 00:59:33,224 I can't breathe. I'm not breathing.Are you good? 1079 00:59:33,328 --> 00:59:34,640 My face. 1080 00:59:35,226 --> 00:59:36,469 Yeah. Okay. 1081 00:59:39,576 --> 00:59:41,060 Hands are out. Butt to butt. 1082 00:59:41,163 --> 00:59:42,199 Okay. 1083 01:00:13,402 --> 01:00:14,990 Well! 1084 01:00:15,094 --> 01:00:16,233 Come on. 1085 01:00:16,336 --> 01:00:17,993 Come on! Let's hear it! 1086 01:00:18,097 --> 01:00:21,583 Let's give a nice round of applause to Loretta! 1087 01:00:21,687 --> 01:00:23,309 She earned it. 1088 01:00:23,412 --> 01:00:27,278 A geriatric shut-in left you holding your dicks in the jungle. 1089 01:00:27,382 --> 01:00:28,763 Good job, Loretta. 1090 01:00:28,866 --> 01:00:31,386 Boss, come on. People are dying now. 1091 01:00:31,489 --> 01:00:35,148 Don't you think that maybe this has all gone too far? 1092 01:00:36,391 --> 01:00:38,117 Is it really worth it? 1093 01:00:38,220 --> 01:00:41,603 I am on the cusp of attaining the unattainable. 1094 01:00:41,707 --> 01:00:44,710 Something singular, something no nation, 1095 01:00:44,813 --> 01:00:48,403 no emperor, no brownnosing brothers ever have. 1096 01:00:48,506 --> 01:00:51,613 The legendary Crown of Fire. 1097 01:00:52,062 --> 01:00:53,201 So, yes. 1098 01:00:53,304 --> 01:00:55,617 Yes, I would definitely say it's worth it. 1099 01:01:05,351 --> 01:01:06,870 Excuse me! 1100 01:01:06,973 --> 01:01:09,873 Excuse me, sir. I need to get to my next connecting flight. 1101 01:01:09,976 --> 01:01:11,322 No flight. 1102 01:01:11,426 --> 01:01:14,015 The pilot is sick. Come tomorrow. 1103 01:01:14,118 --> 01:01:16,258 No, no, sir. I cannot come tomorrow. I need to do this today. 1104 01:01:16,362 --> 01:01:21,091 I need to get to the island Isla Hundida tonight. Lives are at stake. 1105 01:01:21,194 --> 01:01:22,679 Come tomorrow. 1106 01:01:26,510 --> 01:01:28,201 Excuse me, miss?Yes? 1107 01:01:28,305 --> 01:01:32,378 I couldn't help but overhear you say that you like steak. 1108 01:01:32,481 --> 01:01:35,761 Okay, this is a little bit crazy, 1109 01:01:35,864 --> 01:01:37,659 but I also like steak. 1110 01:01:37,763 --> 01:01:40,110 What?I also like steak. 1111 01:01:40,213 --> 01:01:43,665 Would you like to, maybe, I don't know... 1112 01:01:43,769 --> 01:01:46,599 -Maybe there's a-- -No. "Lives are at stake." 1113 01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:48,463 I need to go to the island tonight. 1114 01:01:48,566 --> 01:01:49,982 Ah.Yes. 1115 01:01:50,085 --> 01:01:51,673 Even more serious.Extremely. 1116 01:01:51,777 --> 01:01:54,780 Well, I believe that I may be able to assist you. 1117 01:01:54,883 --> 01:01:56,816 I have a cargo plane. 1118 01:01:57,990 --> 01:02:01,683 Maybe after I make my delivery, we could swing by your island. 1119 01:02:01,787 --> 01:02:04,582 I'm about to ask you something, and you better tell me the truth. 1120 01:02:04,686 --> 01:02:06,550 Have you ever murdered anyone before? 1121 01:02:06,653 --> 01:02:09,898 No! 1122 01:02:13,488 --> 01:02:16,215 I don't know if I really buy it, but let me tell you something. 1123 01:02:16,318 --> 01:02:20,564 If you ever think about murdering me, I promise, I will murder you first. 1124 01:02:20,667 --> 01:02:22,014 My pleasure. 1125 01:02:22,117 --> 01:02:24,257 You are weird. Let's go. 1126 01:03:19,657 --> 01:03:23,075 "King Kalaman and his treasure laid to rest in the well 1127 01:03:23,730 --> 01:03:25,146 of endless tears." 1128 01:03:26,837 --> 01:03:28,011 What is that? 1129 01:03:29,184 --> 01:03:32,636 Oh, it's a-- it's a thing. I mean, it's not, uh... 1130 01:03:32,739 --> 01:03:34,983 You know, it's not what you think it is. 1131 01:03:35,087 --> 01:03:38,884 So it's not Fairfax's fragment of an ancient parchment? 1132 01:03:38,987 --> 01:03:42,784 Okay. It's what you think it is. 1133 01:03:42,888 --> 01:03:44,337 Loretta, I thought you were smarter than that. 1134 01:03:44,441 --> 01:03:47,237 Fairfax is never gonna stop hunting us now. 1135 01:03:47,340 --> 01:03:48,341 What were you thinking? 1136 01:03:48,445 --> 01:03:50,412 We have a volcano that could bury the tomb 1137 01:03:50,516 --> 01:03:54,071 before we get to it, before we see it, before we preserve its memory. 1138 01:03:54,175 --> 01:03:56,108 This is--I'm sorry. Is that what we're doing? 1139 01:03:56,211 --> 01:03:58,731 'Cause no one told me. When were you gonna tell me? 1140 01:03:58,835 --> 01:04:00,250 Why would I tell you? 1141 01:04:00,353 --> 01:04:02,183 We're in this together. I came here to rescue you. 1142 01:04:02,286 --> 01:04:03,978 You know you're not Dash, right? 1143 01:04:04,081 --> 01:04:06,325 You don't ride in on a white horse to rescue people. 1144 01:04:06,428 --> 01:04:10,708 You... spray yourself with bronzer and you stand in front of wind machines, 1145 01:04:10,812 --> 01:04:12,331 which is great for you. 1146 01:04:12,434 --> 01:04:15,092 How would you have any idea what I'm actually like? 1147 01:04:15,196 --> 01:04:18,130 I know you. You're a pretty open book, Alan. 1148 01:04:18,233 --> 01:04:20,028 -Okay, then who am I? -Really? 1149 01:04:20,132 --> 01:04:21,167 Yeah. 1150 01:04:23,238 --> 01:04:25,447 O-- Okay, uh... 1151 01:04:25,551 --> 01:04:28,657 You were a homecoming king and you coasted on your good looks to LA, 1152 01:04:28,761 --> 01:04:31,281 but then realized that being the most handsome kid in the middle of nowhere 1153 01:04:31,384 --> 01:04:33,110 doesn't mean you're going to be a star. 1154 01:04:33,214 --> 01:04:35,043 Until one day, when a woman who couldn't publish her book 1155 01:04:35,147 --> 01:04:38,736 on Spanish colonization in the Atlantic decided to write a romance novel, 1156 01:04:38,840 --> 01:04:40,773 uh, chose you at random to be on the cover. 1157 01:04:40,877 --> 01:04:44,294 Lucky for you and her, the novels were a smashing success. 1158 01:04:44,397 --> 01:04:47,400 She kept writing her schlock, you kept posing, 1159 01:04:47,504 --> 01:04:52,958 um, you know, neither one of us becoming who we'd hoped we would be. 1160 01:04:53,061 --> 01:04:57,169 Uh, and then one day, we both die in the jungle 1161 01:04:57,272 --> 01:05:01,173 on one of those Atlantic islands I wrote about all those years ago. 1162 01:05:01,276 --> 01:05:02,312 Right? 1163 01:05:03,658 --> 01:05:04,970 Mm-hmm. 1164 01:05:16,257 --> 01:05:17,983 It was Sarasota, by the way. 1165 01:05:18,500 --> 01:05:20,088 It's not nowhere. 1166 01:05:20,192 --> 01:05:22,435 I grew up there with my mom and two sisters. 1167 01:05:22,539 --> 01:05:23,574 And yeah... 1168 01:05:24,575 --> 01:05:27,268 I started modeling 'cause I wanted to get away. 1169 01:05:27,371 --> 01:05:29,304 It was the only job that I could think of 1170 01:05:29,408 --> 01:05:32,652 that could take me to all of the places that I always dreamed of going. 1171 01:05:32,756 --> 01:05:34,068 Then finally to Los Angeles, 1172 01:05:34,171 --> 01:05:36,933 where I posed on the cover of your romance novel. 1173 01:05:37,036 --> 01:05:39,936 And I was so embarrassed that one of my friends might've seen me 1174 01:05:40,039 --> 01:05:42,179 in that wig on the cover of your book 1175 01:05:42,283 --> 01:05:44,941 that I avoided talking to them for months. 1176 01:05:45,907 --> 01:05:47,391 And then one day, 1177 01:05:48,116 --> 01:05:49,980 I'm walking home, 1178 01:05:50,084 --> 01:05:52,879 and I hear this lady yell, "Dash!" 1179 01:05:52,983 --> 01:05:55,503 She runs up, and she is so happy. 1180 01:05:55,606 --> 01:05:59,369 Then I thought, "How could I be this embarrassed 1181 01:05:59,472 --> 01:06:02,165 about something that makes people this happy?" 1182 01:06:05,513 --> 01:06:07,204 Loretta, you can do whatever you want. 1183 01:06:07,308 --> 01:06:09,413 If you don't want to write anymore, don't write. 1184 01:06:09,517 --> 01:06:14,004 But don't minimize the people that love your work by calling it schlock. 1185 01:06:14,108 --> 01:06:16,662 That's not fair to them. 1186 01:06:17,870 --> 01:06:20,769 You know what's ironic? I thought you of all people would know 1187 01:06:20,873 --> 01:06:23,324 not to judge a book by its cover. 1188 01:06:27,397 --> 01:06:29,986 Judge a book by its cover model. 1189 01:07:01,465 --> 01:07:02,639 Alan? 1190 01:07:02,742 --> 01:07:04,020 Alan. 1191 01:07:15,997 --> 01:07:17,343 There's two of them. 1192 01:07:23,453 --> 01:07:26,145 Loretta! I'm over here!Alan! 1193 01:07:27,215 --> 01:07:30,287 Alan! Motorcycles and guns, motorcycles and guns! 1194 01:07:30,391 --> 01:07:32,531 Come on, this way! 1195 01:07:32,634 --> 01:07:34,257 Stop shooting! 1196 01:07:39,503 --> 01:07:41,471 Just give 'em the parchment!I can't. 1197 01:07:41,574 --> 01:07:44,232 Yes, you can, actually. You just say, "Here," and throw it at 'em. 1198 01:07:44,336 --> 01:07:46,648 Right. And then I'm sure they'll happily let us go. 1199 01:07:46,752 --> 01:07:48,754 Okay, keep down.How do they keep finding us? 1200 01:07:48,857 --> 01:07:51,343 You're basically a walking disco ball.We need to come up with a plan. 1201 01:07:51,446 --> 01:07:52,516 I have an idea. 1202 01:07:52,620 --> 01:07:54,070 We're gonna dig a hole, throw our voices. 1203 01:07:54,173 --> 01:07:56,106 "We're over here." Can you sound like a bird? 1204 01:07:56,210 --> 01:07:58,522 No, I have a plan.Alan, please, I'm thinking. 1205 01:07:58,626 --> 01:08:02,319 I know, but I have a plan.Please, just let me think about... 1206 01:08:02,423 --> 01:08:06,047 Wait a minute. They're shooting at you.Yeah, that's why we're hiding. 1207 01:08:06,151 --> 01:08:08,463 No. No, no, no. They're shooting only at you. 1208 01:08:08,567 --> 01:08:11,087 They won't shoot me. It's my brain that's valuable. 1209 01:08:11,190 --> 01:08:15,056 What? I don't think you actually hear the things you say sometimes. 1210 01:08:15,160 --> 01:08:17,852 Maybe I can shield you.You are not shielding me. 1211 01:08:17,955 --> 01:08:20,199 I should be shielding you.Why? Because I'm a woman? 1212 01:08:20,303 --> 01:08:23,375 That's supremely sexist. Well, look, I don't think using women as human shields 1213 01:08:23,478 --> 01:08:26,205 is exactly the change that Gloria Seinfeld had in mind, do you? 1214 01:08:26,309 --> 01:08:29,139 Gloria Steinem?Whatever. Her too. You know what? Fine. 1215 01:08:29,243 --> 01:08:32,315 Please mansplain sexism to me right now.Oh, my God. I am a woman. 1216 01:08:32,418 --> 01:08:34,524 I can't mansplain anything. 1217 01:08:34,627 --> 01:08:39,356 Uh, I'm a feminist, and I think a woman can do anything a man can do. 1218 01:08:39,460 --> 01:08:41,910 We just need to stay here until they get tired.I have an idea. 1219 01:08:42,014 --> 01:08:43,705 Please can I tell you my plan?Alan! 1220 01:08:43,809 --> 01:08:47,123 This is not a situation you can get out of by ripping your shirt off. 1221 01:08:47,226 --> 01:08:49,159 Not my shirt. 1222 01:09:20,604 --> 01:09:21,916 Three! 1223 01:09:22,019 --> 01:09:23,607 -Yes! -Oh! 1224 01:09:27,715 --> 01:09:29,579 Oh. 1225 01:09:29,682 --> 01:09:32,927 That was different than I had in my head. 1226 01:09:33,030 --> 01:09:37,103 I just wanted us to stop them. Could it have been the wind that made it do that? 1227 01:09:37,207 --> 01:09:39,313 No, I think it was us. I think... we did it. 1228 01:09:39,416 --> 01:09:41,832 We did the one guy, right? But that was, like-- 1229 01:09:41,936 --> 01:09:45,284 We just wanted him to stop. But I think the other guy could've moved, really. 1230 01:09:45,388 --> 01:09:47,528 So, that was-- that one was on him. 1231 01:09:47,631 --> 01:09:50,496 Even if we weren't here, that could've happened. 1232 01:09:50,600 --> 01:09:52,326 Why are you gonna stop next to a cliff? 1233 01:09:52,429 --> 01:09:54,880 They were wearing helmets, so maybe they're... 1234 01:09:54,983 --> 01:09:57,158 But the rest of their body didn't have a helmet. 1235 01:09:57,262 --> 01:09:58,470 So there'd just be a head. 1236 01:09:58,573 --> 01:10:00,851 They were driving recklessly, right? 1237 01:10:00,955 --> 01:10:02,681 Don't be mean on a bike. 1238 01:10:03,371 --> 01:10:05,131 Don't do mean stuff on a bike. 1239 01:10:08,928 --> 01:10:11,172 I mean, perhaps they're fine. 1240 01:10:11,276 --> 01:10:13,692 Yeah, probably not. But that's okay. 1241 01:10:13,795 --> 01:10:18,075 That's all right. You know, things happen. Let's go. 1242 01:10:20,285 --> 01:10:23,460 -You gonna put it back together? -It's on loan. 1243 01:10:36,266 --> 01:10:38,579 Look at me.Okay. 1244 01:10:39,476 --> 01:10:41,513 What more can I do, you know? 1245 01:10:41,616 --> 01:10:43,549 You've done so much already, Beth. 1246 01:10:43,653 --> 01:10:46,690 My poor, sweet, little Nana has lost her sight. 1247 01:10:46,794 --> 01:10:49,521 The book release is a complete disaster, 1248 01:10:49,624 --> 01:10:51,281 which I've leveraged everything on, 1249 01:10:51,385 --> 01:10:53,732 so I'm probably, most definitely broke right now. 1250 01:10:53,835 --> 01:10:57,080 And most importantly, I've lost a writer. 1251 01:10:57,183 --> 01:10:58,737 Who does that? Who loses a writer? 1252 01:10:58,840 --> 01:11:03,362 Okay, Beth, you remind me of my best friend, Randy. 1253 01:11:03,466 --> 01:11:05,951 Always looking out for other people, 1254 01:11:06,054 --> 01:11:08,402 never taking care of herself. 1255 01:11:09,403 --> 01:11:10,818 Isn't that right, Randy? 1256 01:11:13,338 --> 01:11:15,201 She's like my therapist, this one over here. 1257 01:11:15,305 --> 01:11:17,411 LOL. "Laughing Out Loud." 1258 01:11:17,514 --> 01:11:19,482 After you take care of your friend, 1259 01:11:20,379 --> 01:11:21,725 how about we go to a beach? 1260 01:11:21,829 --> 01:11:24,314 What?Look, I have a pickup in Hawaii. 1261 01:11:24,418 --> 01:11:26,385 She doesn't have to come. 1262 01:11:26,489 --> 01:11:29,285 -Okay! Okay, you can come! 1263 01:11:29,388 --> 01:11:31,390 She's hilarious. 1264 01:11:32,184 --> 01:11:34,013 Let me ask you something. 1265 01:11:34,117 --> 01:11:36,222 We're all sitting here chitchatting, but who's flying the plane? 1266 01:11:36,326 --> 01:11:38,259 Autopilot.What? 1267 01:11:38,363 --> 01:11:41,089 Sir, go to the cockpit, fly the plane. 1268 01:11:41,538 --> 01:11:42,539 Okay. 1269 01:11:43,299 --> 01:11:45,059 I'm going to go land the plane. 1270 01:11:45,162 --> 01:11:46,612 Okay. 1271 01:11:46,716 --> 01:11:48,614 No, no, no. Take the goat. Please, take the goat. 1272 01:11:48,718 --> 01:11:51,376 She's on break. Enjoy the flight! 1273 01:12:26,790 --> 01:12:28,136 Hi.Hola. 1274 01:12:32,589 --> 01:12:35,281 This English dude came in and basically kidnapped her. 1275 01:12:37,422 --> 01:12:40,735 Hey, it's Beth. Please leave a message, and I'll get right back to you. 1276 01:12:40,839 --> 01:12:43,704 Uh, hi, Beth. 1277 01:12:43,807 --> 01:12:44,808 It's me. 1278 01:12:44,912 --> 01:12:46,741 Uh, I'm alive! 1279 01:12:47,466 --> 01:12:49,503 Uh, listen, um... 1280 01:12:50,814 --> 01:12:51,850 Uh... 1281 01:12:53,299 --> 01:12:57,407 I'm sorry that I blew up the book tour. 1282 01:12:57,511 --> 01:12:59,236 Um... 1283 01:12:59,340 --> 01:13:01,722 I was just afraid 1284 01:13:02,861 --> 01:13:04,518 and selfish. Uh-- 1285 01:13:04,621 --> 01:13:07,348 Oh, here comes Alan. I'll call you back. 1286 01:13:10,524 --> 01:13:13,527 So, uh, police are searching for Fairfax, 1287 01:13:13,630 --> 01:13:16,081 and they're gonna provide us protection while we're here. 1288 01:13:16,184 --> 01:13:18,014 Did they say how long we'd be here? 1289 01:13:18,117 --> 01:13:20,775 They're gonna try to get us on a puddle jumper later this evening. 1290 01:13:20,879 --> 01:13:23,088 But, uh, they said in the meantime, the inn is really nice, 1291 01:13:23,191 --> 01:13:25,780 and we can get cleaned up and maybe a change of clothes. 1292 01:13:25,884 --> 01:13:27,299 Okay. 1293 01:13:30,751 --> 01:13:32,304 Okay. Yeah. 1294 01:14:25,081 --> 01:14:26,531 Thank you. 1295 01:14:27,117 --> 01:14:30,362 Come on. 1296 01:14:30,466 --> 01:14:31,708 Dance with your husband. 1297 01:14:31,812 --> 01:14:33,607 No, no, no.He's not my husband. 1298 01:14:33,710 --> 01:14:35,436 It's okay.Dance with him. 1299 01:14:35,540 --> 01:14:38,025 No, no. She doesn't want to. She doesn't have the right shoes. 1300 01:14:38,128 --> 01:14:40,648 Actually, it's the only thing these shoes are right for. 1301 01:14:40,752 --> 01:14:42,995 You don't have to do this. 1302 01:14:43,099 --> 01:14:44,859 It's okay. It's okay. 1303 01:14:45,757 --> 01:14:46,723 Yeah? 1304 01:16:05,353 --> 01:16:07,045 I wonder what she's saying. 1305 01:16:09,426 --> 01:16:10,911 It's folklore. 1306 01:16:12,326 --> 01:16:14,362 Love song about a woman 1307 01:16:14,466 --> 01:16:17,780 whose lover died, and she didn't want to leave his side. 1308 01:16:18,815 --> 01:16:21,646 So she laid down and refused to get up. 1309 01:16:22,232 --> 01:16:23,993 Must be scary. 1310 01:16:24,096 --> 01:16:27,997 Having to face your future without the person that you planned it with. 1311 01:16:40,354 --> 01:16:41,907 What was that? 1312 01:16:44,047 --> 01:16:47,706 Excuse me. Excuse me. The, um-- the last line that you sang. 1313 01:16:47,810 --> 01:16:50,157 ¿Quién llorará junto a mí? 1314 01:16:53,091 --> 01:16:55,921 "The island will weep for me in the well of endless tears." 1315 01:16:56,025 --> 01:16:59,407 What is that, the well of endless tears? Is that a real place, or... 1316 01:16:59,511 --> 01:17:01,133 Sinkhole place. 1317 01:17:02,928 --> 01:17:04,654 Thank you. Gracias, gracias. 1318 01:17:04,758 --> 01:17:06,829 Come here, come here.What is it? 1319 01:17:08,451 --> 01:17:10,280 Hey, on the parchment, it said, 1320 01:17:10,384 --> 01:17:14,457 "King Kalaman and his treasure laid to rest in the well of endless tears." 1321 01:17:14,560 --> 01:17:16,666 I thought maybe it was a metaphor. 1322 01:17:17,184 --> 01:17:18,737 It's not. 1323 01:17:18,841 --> 01:17:21,706 The Well of Endless Tears is a place. 1324 01:17:21,809 --> 01:17:23,811 It's a sinkhole. 1325 01:17:23,915 --> 01:17:26,089 There's a sinkhole on the map. 1326 01:17:27,435 --> 01:17:29,196 I think the tomb is there. 1327 01:17:29,299 --> 01:17:31,681 This is so much better than your books.What? 1328 01:17:31,785 --> 01:17:33,269 There's like-- No, I don't mean any offense. 1329 01:17:33,372 --> 01:17:35,271 I'm kidding. I'm kidding.It's, like, equal. 1330 01:17:35,374 --> 01:17:37,583 I'm kidding. I'm kidding.Look at you. You want to go there. 1331 01:17:37,687 --> 01:17:39,551 What? No.I can see. Yes, you do. 1332 01:17:39,655 --> 01:17:42,761 That would be insane. That would be insane. I just-- I just-- 1333 01:17:42,865 --> 01:17:47,248 It's just that we're so close to it, but, you know, we can't-- 1334 01:17:47,352 --> 01:17:48,664 No. 1335 01:17:48,767 --> 01:17:51,459 This is your story. How do you want to write it? 1336 01:17:52,253 --> 01:17:54,566 I'd like to know that it's there, 1337 01:17:54,670 --> 01:17:56,326 that all this meant something. 1338 01:17:56,430 --> 01:17:58,294 Okay. Then let's go. 1339 01:17:58,397 --> 01:18:00,261 We'll stay one more day. As soon as the sun's up, 1340 01:18:00,365 --> 01:18:02,125 we're gonna go find the Well of Endless Tears. 1341 01:18:02,229 --> 01:18:05,094 But what if it's nothing?So what? Then we say we tried. 1342 01:18:05,197 --> 01:18:06,440 And Fairfax? 1343 01:18:06,543 --> 01:18:08,960 The cops are after Fairfax. Don't worry about him. 1344 01:18:10,064 --> 01:18:10,858 This is crazy. 1345 01:18:10,962 --> 01:18:12,653 Yeah, but look at you.What? 1346 01:18:12,757 --> 01:18:15,725 It's the very first time I've ever seen you totally unafraid. 1347 01:18:16,346 --> 01:18:18,072 And alive. 1348 01:18:18,176 --> 01:18:20,696 I'm gonna go tell them our plans have changed and find us a ride. 1349 01:18:20,799 --> 01:18:22,249 Where are you going? 1350 01:18:25,908 --> 01:18:27,979 I see you met my friend here. 1351 01:18:28,082 --> 01:18:32,466 He told me you were just about to jump on a plane, 1352 01:18:32,569 --> 01:18:35,020 without so much as saying goodbye. 1353 01:18:35,124 --> 01:18:38,541 I said, "No way. Not my Loretta. 1354 01:18:38,644 --> 01:18:43,097 Not when she's the only one who can lead me to the tomb." 1355 01:18:46,514 --> 01:18:48,585 Stop squeezing so hard. 1356 01:18:49,414 --> 01:18:52,210 Ow. Get your hands off of me! 1357 01:18:53,073 --> 01:18:54,937 Ow! Let go! 1358 01:18:55,420 --> 01:18:56,628 I-I need a car. 1359 01:18:56,732 --> 01:18:58,664 A car, an auto. Does anybody have an auto? 1360 01:19:07,156 --> 01:19:08,226 No, no. No. 1361 01:19:08,951 --> 01:19:10,262 I-I-I need an auto. 1362 01:19:10,366 --> 01:19:11,712 I'll trade you my watch. 1363 01:19:11,816 --> 01:19:13,231 It's a really expensive watch. Do you have a car? 1364 01:19:13,334 --> 01:19:14,853 It's a Bulgari. This thing glows in the dark. 1365 01:19:14,957 --> 01:19:16,752 It's waterproof.I have motorcycle. 1366 01:19:30,351 --> 01:19:32,112 Cool, isn't it? 1367 01:19:32,215 --> 01:19:35,322 I always thought, why can't your personal tank also have a minibar? 1368 01:19:35,425 --> 01:19:36,910 Have a drink. 1369 01:19:37,013 --> 01:19:38,566 Do you mind? 1370 01:19:38,670 --> 01:19:40,085 Uh, yes. 1371 01:19:40,189 --> 01:19:42,329 He has a bit of a grudge against you, I'm afraid. 1372 01:19:42,432 --> 01:19:45,228 Something about a motorbike accident his friends had? 1373 01:19:45,332 --> 01:19:46,505 Why are you doing this? 1374 01:19:46,609 --> 01:19:48,369 I want something nobody else has. 1375 01:19:49,267 --> 01:19:51,096 When my father gifted-- 1376 01:19:54,168 --> 01:19:55,687 As I was saying, 1377 01:19:55,791 --> 01:19:58,724 when my father gifted his empire 1378 01:19:58,828 --> 01:20:01,279 -to my baby brother-- 1379 01:20:08,320 --> 01:20:09,839 Who is that? 1380 01:20:18,572 --> 01:20:20,781 Is that a Ken doll on a moped? 1381 01:20:21,575 --> 01:20:23,094 I know him from somewhere. 1382 01:20:23,197 --> 01:20:24,854 Oh, I-I-I doubt that. 1383 01:20:24,958 --> 01:20:27,167 Because what you are looking at 1384 01:20:27,270 --> 01:20:30,170 is a highly trained combat specialist, 1385 01:20:30,273 --> 01:20:33,863 forged in the furnaces of Afghanistan, Iraq, 1386 01:20:33,967 --> 01:20:36,555 Kuwait, Sa-- Sarasota... 1387 01:20:36,659 --> 01:20:38,730 Incredible skin. No eczema problems. 1388 01:20:38,834 --> 01:20:42,527 And he will not stop until I am safe! 1389 01:20:42,630 --> 01:20:44,840 So you pull this space tank over, 1390 01:20:44,943 --> 01:20:48,084 unless you would like to perish like his friends did. 1391 01:20:48,188 --> 01:20:51,605 And he is responsible for their perishment. 1392 01:20:51,708 --> 01:20:54,401 He might not have meant to, 1393 01:20:54,504 --> 01:20:57,783 but they... perished, so... 1394 01:21:12,729 --> 01:21:13,972 Okay, who-who is this? 1395 01:21:14,076 --> 01:21:15,974 I have seen him somewhere before. 1396 01:21:18,459 --> 01:21:19,702 No, no, no. 1397 01:21:19,805 --> 01:21:21,531 That's your cover model, isn't it? 1398 01:21:21,635 --> 01:21:23,913 Yes. I knew I knew him from somewhere. 1399 01:21:24,810 --> 01:21:25,881 Get up there. 1400 01:21:25,984 --> 01:21:27,365 And kill him creatively. 1401 01:21:27,468 --> 01:21:29,574 I love watching hunks fail. 1402 01:21:31,921 --> 01:21:34,165 I guess I-I will have that drink. 1403 01:21:35,856 --> 01:21:37,133 Oh, shit. 1404 01:21:37,237 --> 01:21:39,791 Is it okay if I just top 'er off? 1405 01:21:39,895 --> 01:21:41,068 Yeah, that's fine, but-- 1406 01:21:41,172 --> 01:21:43,139 Oh, my God, have you used a glass before? 1407 01:21:43,243 --> 01:21:44,589 Sorry. 1408 01:21:44,692 --> 01:21:46,177 What would Jack Trainer do? 1409 01:21:48,386 --> 01:21:49,456 It's hot in here. 1410 01:21:49,559 --> 01:21:52,562 Anyone else feeling how hot it is? 1411 01:21:52,666 --> 01:21:53,736 Are you trying to be sexy? 1412 01:21:53,839 --> 01:21:55,634 This is very weird. Please, stop. 1413 01:21:55,738 --> 01:21:57,636 I could set your world on fire. 1414 01:22:08,233 --> 01:22:10,546 Go to sleep! Go to sleep! 1415 01:22:10,649 --> 01:22:12,375 Go to sleep! Sleep! 1416 01:22:14,791 --> 01:22:16,621 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1417 01:22:16,724 --> 01:22:18,002 Time-out. 1418 01:22:18,105 --> 01:22:19,037 Time-in! 1419 01:22:24,870 --> 01:22:27,701 No! Don't shoot her! I need her! 1420 01:22:29,358 --> 01:22:31,222 Oh, Jesus! 1421 01:22:31,325 --> 01:22:32,740 Ow, ow, ow. 1422 01:22:36,675 --> 01:22:39,092 Move your foot! Move your foot! 1423 01:22:42,164 --> 01:22:44,373 -Go to sleep, asshole. 1424 01:22:44,476 --> 01:22:46,133 Get out there! Look! 1425 01:22:50,724 --> 01:22:52,036 A bigger guy? 1426 01:22:52,139 --> 01:22:53,347 Oh, no. 1427 01:22:54,693 --> 01:22:55,936 What? 1428 01:22:58,421 --> 01:22:59,353 Move it! 1429 01:23:01,079 --> 01:23:03,392 No, no, no. No, no, no. 1430 01:23:04,289 --> 01:23:06,188 Hey! Get in. 1431 01:23:06,705 --> 01:23:07,810 Him or me? 1432 01:23:11,917 --> 01:23:16,715 This is not one of your cheap, vapid lady-fantasy books, Loretta. 1433 01:23:16,819 --> 01:23:18,786 This is real life. 1434 01:23:19,718 --> 01:23:21,582 And we will kill him. 1435 01:23:21,686 --> 01:23:23,412 Tell us where the tomb is. 1436 01:23:38,082 --> 01:23:39,393 Hi. So, whoever's in charge, 1437 01:23:39,497 --> 01:23:42,120 I need you to send officials to go here. 1438 01:23:42,224 --> 01:23:43,328 Here. 1439 01:23:44,467 --> 01:23:46,297 We are closed. 1440 01:23:46,400 --> 01:23:47,746 You're closed? 1441 01:23:49,679 --> 01:23:52,786 You know I've been trying to take a nap for a year and a half? 1442 01:23:52,889 --> 01:23:54,443 A year and a half. 1443 01:23:55,375 --> 01:23:58,481 I have been burning the candle at both ends, 1444 01:23:58,585 --> 01:23:59,931 the midnight oil, 1445 01:24:00,035 --> 01:24:03,003 since way before my friend got kidnapped. 1446 01:24:03,107 --> 01:24:04,970 And all I want to do 1447 01:24:05,523 --> 01:24:07,663 is kick my feet back 1448 01:24:07,766 --> 01:24:09,009 and drink some wine 1449 01:24:09,113 --> 01:24:11,494 that I'm probably too tired to drink. 1450 01:24:11,598 --> 01:24:13,531 And I want a massage. 1451 01:24:13,634 --> 01:24:18,294 I want someone to massage my shoulders and my feet, 1452 01:24:18,398 --> 01:24:20,434 and I want it at the same time. 1453 01:24:20,538 --> 01:24:24,231 And I don't care if logistically that doesn't make sense. 1454 01:24:24,335 --> 01:24:26,992 Because I have worked hard. 1455 01:24:27,855 --> 01:24:30,306 The same way that I know that you have. 1456 01:24:31,204 --> 01:24:33,413 So I hate to ask you 1457 01:24:33,516 --> 01:24:35,898 to leave this place open a few more minutes, 1458 01:24:36,001 --> 01:24:37,934 because if we don't, 1459 01:24:38,038 --> 01:24:41,593 a very close friend of mine and her cover model 1460 01:24:41,697 --> 01:24:43,457 are going to die. 1461 01:25:06,308 --> 01:25:07,861 No good way in, boss! 1462 01:25:07,964 --> 01:25:10,105 What about the caves? 1463 01:25:10,864 --> 01:25:12,210 That's too dangerous! 1464 01:25:12,314 --> 01:25:15,317 Well, we'll be very careful then. 1465 01:25:28,882 --> 01:25:30,194 Well, come on! 1466 01:25:34,888 --> 01:25:36,717 This way.I have a rule about 1467 01:25:36,821 --> 01:25:38,340 not going into super creepy caves. 1468 01:25:49,696 --> 01:25:52,630 Julian? His name is Julian? 1469 01:25:52,733 --> 01:25:55,598 He seems more like a Buck or a Bruce. 1470 01:25:55,702 --> 01:25:57,186 Lead the way. 1471 01:26:00,879 --> 01:26:03,261 Go on. Don't be scared. 1472 01:26:33,015 --> 01:26:34,810 Watch your step there. 1473 01:26:34,913 --> 01:26:36,087 Bruce! 1474 01:26:36,191 --> 01:26:37,192 Julian. Oh, no!Julian! 1475 01:26:37,295 --> 01:26:38,917 Whoa. 1476 01:26:39,021 --> 01:26:40,540 Whoa. 1477 01:26:41,196 --> 01:26:42,680 Well... 1478 01:26:43,508 --> 01:26:45,234 Let's not have his death be in vain. 1479 01:26:45,338 --> 01:26:48,099 -Onward and upward. -What do you mean onward? 1480 01:26:48,203 --> 01:26:50,653 We're not gonna go and get him now, are we? 1481 01:26:50,757 --> 01:26:52,172 Oh, man. 1482 01:27:04,564 --> 01:27:06,221 Okay. 1483 01:27:06,324 --> 01:27:09,016 Yeah. Look, let's just go back to the boat. 1484 01:27:09,120 --> 01:27:10,984 This is over. Nobody else has to die. 1485 01:27:11,087 --> 01:27:13,262 No, no, no. Ha-ha! It's a breeze. 1486 01:27:13,366 --> 01:27:15,816 There's a tunnel. This could lead to the tomb. 1487 01:27:15,920 --> 01:27:17,784 That's not person-sized.Ah, speak for yourself. 1488 01:27:17,887 --> 01:27:20,165 Come on. It's practically a kiddie slide. 1489 01:27:20,269 --> 01:27:22,582 More like a rock sphincter.Or a troll anus. 1490 01:27:22,685 --> 01:27:25,067 All right, well, you are going through the anus-- 1491 01:27:25,170 --> 01:27:26,482 the hole-- the tunnel! 1492 01:27:26,586 --> 01:27:28,588 Why her?You are our canary in the coal mine. 1493 01:27:28,691 --> 01:27:30,106 No, that's impossible. I can't. 1494 01:27:30,210 --> 01:27:31,660 Please let us know if you get through. 1495 01:27:31,763 --> 01:27:34,076 If we don't hear from you, Fabio's got to die. 1496 01:27:34,179 --> 01:27:36,354 Wait, I'm the damsel in distress? 1497 01:27:37,044 --> 01:27:38,287 It's okay. I'm fine. 1498 01:28:14,323 --> 01:28:16,774 I can't. I'm so sorry. I can't. 1499 01:28:16,877 --> 01:28:18,603 -Hey. -What? 1500 01:28:19,328 --> 01:28:21,296 Hey, you smell that? 1501 01:28:21,399 --> 01:28:24,333 You mean centuries worth of bat feces? Yes, I definitely smell that. 1502 01:28:24,437 --> 01:28:26,646 You gotta take a big breath for me. 1503 01:28:31,754 --> 01:28:33,135 There you go. 1504 01:28:33,238 --> 01:28:35,102 You can do it, Loretta. 1505 01:28:48,046 --> 01:28:50,808 I think I see a way out. 1506 01:28:54,363 --> 01:28:56,572 Oh, cheese and rice! 1507 01:29:01,266 --> 01:29:02,613 I made it! 1508 01:29:02,716 --> 01:29:04,200 I made it! 1509 01:29:04,304 --> 01:29:06,789 -See? Totally safe. 1510 01:29:07,790 --> 01:29:08,860 Go on. Your turn. 1511 01:29:10,552 --> 01:29:13,451 I'm coming through! Be right there, okay? 1512 01:30:17,619 --> 01:30:19,759 Why would they build this here? 1513 01:30:20,863 --> 01:30:22,589 But how is anyone supposed to worship 1514 01:30:22,693 --> 01:30:24,384 or remember you if they can't even see it? 1515 01:30:24,488 --> 01:30:26,351 They aren't. 1516 01:30:26,455 --> 01:30:29,424 This isn't a monument to Kalaman's power. 1517 01:30:30,528 --> 01:30:33,117 It's a hiding place for a grieving woman. 1518 01:30:33,220 --> 01:30:36,672 Taha came here to be with her fallen lover. 1519 01:30:38,329 --> 01:30:39,779 She just wanted to be alone. 1520 01:30:41,436 --> 01:30:42,954 Taha doesn't want us here. 1521 01:30:43,058 --> 01:30:44,404 God, shut up, Rafi. 1522 01:30:44,508 --> 01:30:46,371 It's just the volcano. 1523 01:30:48,028 --> 01:30:49,340 Come on. 1524 01:30:54,483 --> 01:30:56,140 We have to keep going. 1525 01:31:04,320 --> 01:31:05,977 All right. Let's go, Muscles. 1526 01:31:06,771 --> 01:31:08,601 Open it up. 1527 01:31:08,704 --> 01:31:11,155 -Don't disturb them. -She will be wearing the headdress. 1528 01:31:11,258 --> 01:31:13,847 Come on. We didn't come all this way just to pay our respects. 1529 01:31:13,951 --> 01:31:15,608 I can't, um... 1530 01:31:18,369 --> 01:31:20,578 Uh...I'm sorry, abuela. 1531 01:31:41,806 --> 01:31:43,118 What is that? 1532 01:31:45,258 --> 01:31:47,674 Are those... seashells? 1533 01:31:48,433 --> 01:31:51,298 The crown is made of seashells? 1534 01:31:51,402 --> 01:31:52,955 Where's the treasure? 1535 01:31:53,956 --> 01:31:55,406 She's holding him. 1536 01:31:58,202 --> 01:31:59,962 You mean the dead guy? 1537 01:32:06,486 --> 01:32:07,694 Look. 1538 01:32:09,696 --> 01:32:11,422 It's their courtship. 1539 01:32:11,526 --> 01:32:15,426 Kalaman is searching the island for something. 1540 01:32:18,256 --> 01:32:19,844 Rare red seashells. 1541 01:32:19,948 --> 01:32:24,953 To prove his love, he gave her one shell every day for a year 1542 01:32:25,056 --> 01:32:26,610 and made them into a crown, 1543 01:32:26,713 --> 01:32:29,509 bright red like the flame of their love, 1544 01:32:29,613 --> 01:32:32,995 until the day came where she accepted his proposal. 1545 01:32:33,099 --> 01:32:34,859 It was never about jewels. 1546 01:32:34,963 --> 01:32:38,691 Kalaman and Taha's riches weren't material. 1547 01:32:40,624 --> 01:32:42,557 It was their love. 1548 01:32:42,660 --> 01:32:45,007 That's what it meant. That was enough. 1549 01:32:45,111 --> 01:32:46,319 So that's it? 1550 01:32:47,216 --> 01:32:50,116 All of that time and money 1551 01:32:50,944 --> 01:32:54,534 spent on, what, just a cheap metaphor? 1552 01:32:54,638 --> 01:32:57,433 It's a pretty rich metaphor.Oh, shut up! 1553 01:32:57,537 --> 01:32:59,574 -We got to go. We got to go now. 1554 01:32:59,677 --> 01:33:02,853 -Come on. Let's go. -No, no, no. You are staying here. 1555 01:33:02,956 --> 01:33:05,027 You think it's all so sweet and poetic. 1556 01:33:05,131 --> 01:33:07,616 Well, then you can stay here and spend your last moments 1557 01:33:07,720 --> 01:33:10,654 pondering the richness of that metaphor. 1558 01:33:11,344 --> 01:33:13,622 -Get in. -What? Come on, man. 1559 01:33:13,726 --> 01:33:16,176 -Oh, God. Just get in. Get in the tomb. -Okay, okay. 1560 01:33:16,280 --> 01:33:18,903 It's better to be buried alive than buried dead, I guess. 1561 01:33:19,007 --> 01:33:22,286 -It's really not. -You know, it is a shame, really. 1562 01:33:22,389 --> 01:33:23,908 This is a hell of a story. 1563 01:33:24,012 --> 01:33:26,704 Pity you won't be around to tell it. Come on. 1564 01:33:26,808 --> 01:33:28,395 -But they'll die. -So will you 1565 01:33:28,499 --> 01:33:31,088 if you don't stop being such a snowflake! Get over here! 1566 01:33:40,684 --> 01:33:42,686 This is fine. This is not an active nightmare 1567 01:33:42,789 --> 01:33:44,446 I've had since I was 14 years old. 1568 01:33:47,794 --> 01:33:51,522 Why are you going so fast? It's not a race. 1569 01:33:56,527 --> 01:33:58,840 Wait, no! What are you doing? Come back here! 1570 01:33:58,943 --> 01:34:03,638 You may have bought the island, but now the island owns you! 1571 01:34:04,500 --> 01:34:05,985 You can't just leave me here! 1572 01:34:08,021 --> 01:34:10,403 Rafi! Come back! 1573 01:34:12,577 --> 01:34:13,993 I need a boat! 1574 01:34:23,416 --> 01:34:25,521 Hey, hey, stop! Stop! 1575 01:34:27,523 --> 01:34:29,387 Help! Help! 1576 01:34:29,491 --> 01:34:31,596 One of the locals just stole my boat! 1577 01:34:31,700 --> 01:34:33,460 Have you seen a woman? 1578 01:34:33,564 --> 01:34:36,671 She's a brunette in a sequined jumpsuit. 1579 01:34:36,774 --> 01:34:40,778 No. Is she in some sort of trouble? 1580 01:34:52,445 --> 01:34:54,171 It's kind of funny. 1581 01:34:55,586 --> 01:34:57,381 I used to think this... 1582 01:34:57,484 --> 01:34:59,383 this sort of thing was so romantic. 1583 01:34:59,486 --> 01:35:00,867 Yeah? 1584 01:35:00,971 --> 01:35:04,319 Being locked in a coffin about to be buried by lava, 1585 01:35:04,422 --> 01:35:07,011 or... cuddling dead people? 1586 01:35:07,805 --> 01:35:10,877 Just laying down with a lost love. 1587 01:35:10,981 --> 01:35:12,189 Like Taha did. 1588 01:35:14,743 --> 01:35:15,951 God.Oh... 1589 01:35:16,538 --> 01:35:17,919 Oh, God. 1590 01:35:18,022 --> 01:35:20,231 I'm sorry. 1591 01:35:20,335 --> 01:35:22,786 I'm sorry that I couldn't save you. 1592 01:35:22,889 --> 01:35:24,857 I'm sorry I couldn't be Dash. 1593 01:35:25,443 --> 01:35:26,721 You're right. 1594 01:35:27,756 --> 01:35:29,309 You're nothing like Dash. 1595 01:35:29,413 --> 01:35:32,450 You didn't ride in on a white horse to save me. 1596 01:35:32,554 --> 01:35:37,939 You rode in on a... borrowed scooter with a broken muffler. 1597 01:35:39,319 --> 01:35:40,735 Yeah. 1598 01:35:40,838 --> 01:35:43,738 I never could've written a Dash like you. 1599 01:35:45,636 --> 01:35:47,569 'Cause I never knew 1600 01:35:48,259 --> 01:35:50,054 a Dash like Alan. 1601 01:35:50,158 --> 01:35:52,608 I was so afraid of being hurt by life again 1602 01:35:52,712 --> 01:35:54,093 that I just stopped living. 1603 01:35:54,196 --> 01:35:56,198 Couldn't see the good things in front of me. 1604 01:35:56,302 --> 01:35:59,788 I'm just so sorry I didn't see you sooner. 1605 01:36:00,755 --> 01:36:02,480 I have a confession too. 1606 01:36:02,584 --> 01:36:06,484 See, I was really liking where this new story of ours was headed. 1607 01:36:06,588 --> 01:36:09,798 I just wanted to see how it was gonna turn out, I guess. 1608 01:36:11,110 --> 01:36:13,664 The Adventures of Loretta and Alan. 1609 01:36:15,770 --> 01:36:17,702 No, it would need a better title than that. 1610 01:36:17,806 --> 01:36:19,774 Yeah, definitely. Definitely. 1611 01:36:20,913 --> 01:36:24,709 Sorry. Just... Taha's femur is poking me. 1612 01:36:28,403 --> 01:36:30,163 Rafi must have left that. 1613 01:36:30,267 --> 01:36:32,787 How do you forget your crowbar? It's gonna help us escape. 1614 01:36:32,890 --> 01:36:34,512 No, he left it on purpose. 1615 01:36:34,616 --> 01:36:36,307 Oh, cool. I always liked him. 1616 01:36:36,411 --> 01:36:37,826 One...Okay. 1617 01:36:37,930 --> 01:36:39,759 ...two, three!Okay. 1618 01:36:39,863 --> 01:36:43,798 I would've preferred him to not leave us here in the first place, but... 1619 01:36:44,488 --> 01:36:45,316 Okay. 1620 01:37:06,372 --> 01:37:08,581 Dulcius ex asperis. 1621 01:37:12,930 --> 01:37:14,829 Sweeter after difficulty. 1622 01:37:21,456 --> 01:37:22,906 Go up! Run for the trees! 1623 01:37:24,114 --> 01:37:27,013 Wait. Nope. Never mind. Trees are on fire. 1624 01:37:27,462 --> 01:37:29,153 Okay. 1625 01:37:30,741 --> 01:37:32,605 We can go back through the tunnel. 1626 01:37:33,571 --> 01:37:34,849 Nope. Tunnel's a no-go. 1627 01:37:39,957 --> 01:37:41,925 Um, okay. I'm open to other ideas. 1628 01:37:42,028 --> 01:37:45,583 There's a current. We can follow it into the ocean. 1629 01:37:45,687 --> 01:37:47,309 How do we know what's on the other side? 1630 01:37:47,827 --> 01:37:48,897 We don't. 1631 01:37:50,726 --> 01:37:52,867 There's only one way to find out. 1632 01:37:54,420 --> 01:37:56,077 Worth the rash.Yeah? 1633 01:38:17,063 --> 01:38:18,064 Alan? 1634 01:38:26,521 --> 01:38:27,763 Alan! 1635 01:39:05,215 --> 01:39:06,216 Alan? 1636 01:39:06,319 --> 01:39:09,012 A-- Alan? 1637 01:39:10,220 --> 01:39:11,221 Alan! 1638 01:39:14,500 --> 01:39:16,226 Oh, my God! You're alive! 1639 01:39:16,329 --> 01:39:18,573 I'm alive.Oh, my God. I thought I killed you. 1640 01:39:21,541 --> 01:39:22,508 Is that Beth? 1641 01:39:22,611 --> 01:39:23,854 Loretta! 1642 01:39:24,475 --> 01:39:25,649 Beth! 1643 01:39:25,752 --> 01:39:27,409 Beth! 1644 01:39:27,513 --> 01:39:28,755 Beth! 1645 01:39:34,416 --> 01:39:35,797 Beth, you're here! 1646 01:39:36,453 --> 01:39:37,661 Why are you here? 1647 01:39:37,764 --> 01:39:40,560 I told you I got your back, girl! 1648 01:39:41,147 --> 01:39:42,942 I'm so sorry! 1649 01:39:43,046 --> 01:39:45,151 I destroyed the jumpsuit! 1650 01:39:45,600 --> 01:39:46,601 What? 1651 01:39:46,704 --> 01:39:49,224 Never mind! Later. 1652 01:39:49,328 --> 01:39:51,330 I found a British guy in a cave. 1653 01:39:51,433 --> 01:39:53,918 I thought he was a little boy, but he has a full beard. 1654 01:39:54,022 --> 01:39:57,301 Beth, that's Fairfax! He kidnapped us! 1655 01:39:57,405 --> 01:40:00,166 He's a bad guy, Beth! He killed my trainer! 1656 01:40:00,270 --> 01:40:01,271 Get him! 1657 01:40:01,788 --> 01:40:02,962 Stop him! 1658 01:40:10,797 --> 01:40:13,007 I got your back, girl. 1659 01:40:15,147 --> 01:40:17,114 Where were you running? It's a boat. 1660 01:40:17,218 --> 01:40:18,736 This guy's hilarious. 1661 01:40:18,840 --> 01:40:20,566 Got you. 1662 01:40:20,669 --> 01:40:21,946 Swim over to the rock! 1663 01:40:22,050 --> 01:40:24,121 I don't got you. No, I got you.I got you. 1664 01:40:24,225 --> 01:40:26,123 We're gonna get you. It's gonna be okay. 1665 01:40:26,227 --> 01:40:28,815 "Finding refuge on a nearby rock, 1666 01:40:28,919 --> 01:40:31,025 he lifted her from the water, 1667 01:40:31,128 --> 01:40:34,304 his powerful arms pulling her body close. 1668 01:40:34,407 --> 01:40:35,546 Alan whispered..." 1669 01:40:35,650 --> 01:40:38,204 Shh. You're safe now. 1670 01:40:40,620 --> 01:40:45,280 "In that moment, Loretta could feel a new adventure was just beginning." 1671 01:40:46,557 --> 01:40:49,215 "The heart-pounding passion of the narrow escape 1672 01:40:49,319 --> 01:40:52,253 only inflamed Loretta's desire for him. 1673 01:40:52,356 --> 01:40:56,567 She was thirsty for the hot lava soon to be pulsing from his..." 1674 01:40:56,671 --> 01:41:00,261 Don't you go stopping right at the good part. 1675 01:41:01,607 --> 01:41:03,436 It's nothing she hasn't read before. 1676 01:41:03,540 --> 01:41:04,920 Didn't I tell you? 1677 01:41:05,024 --> 01:41:08,027 The most beautiful beach in the world. 1678 01:41:08,131 --> 01:41:11,444 Maybe later, I'll show you the Cove of Enchantment? 1679 01:41:11,548 --> 01:41:13,136 No, you can take Randy. 1680 01:41:13,239 --> 01:41:16,898 Remember, you are my platonic man friend. 1681 01:41:17,001 --> 01:41:20,039 Platonic? I like the sound of that. 1682 01:41:20,143 --> 01:41:22,800 Not sure what it means, but I like the sound of it. 1683 01:41:22,904 --> 01:41:25,113 Here you go, Randy. 1684 01:41:26,873 --> 01:41:29,186 My dear.You are an angel. Thank you. 1685 01:41:29,842 --> 01:41:31,257 How did you know? 1686 01:41:43,166 --> 01:41:45,961 Nice way to end a book tour, right?Mm-hmm. 1687 01:41:46,514 --> 01:41:48,343 Um... 1688 01:41:48,447 --> 01:41:52,692 You know, I have a phrase I like to use in moments like these, actually. 1689 01:41:52,796 --> 01:41:54,038 Um... 1690 01:41:55,523 --> 01:41:56,938 Quid deinde? 1691 01:41:58,077 --> 01:42:01,253 It's Latin. It means, uh, "What's next?" 1692 01:42:03,151 --> 01:42:04,670 Quid cogitas? 1693 01:42:04,773 --> 01:42:06,154 Mmm. 1694 01:42:06,879 --> 01:42:08,052 Buca di Beppo. 1695 01:42:11,470 --> 01:42:13,127 Yeah. I know zero other Latin.No. Yes. 1696 01:42:13,230 --> 01:42:16,164 I looked it up for this moment right now. 1697 01:42:16,992 --> 01:42:19,133 So, what does come next? 1698 01:42:19,236 --> 01:42:21,721 How would you write this?I don't know. 1699 01:42:21,825 --> 01:42:24,379 How would you write it?Do we really want me to write this? 1700 01:42:24,483 --> 01:42:26,830 Just try. Take a stab at it.Okay. I'll write it. 1701 01:42:26,933 --> 01:42:28,280 Okay. 1702 01:42:28,383 --> 01:42:31,386 "We were-- They were, uh... standing on a beach." 1703 01:42:31,490 --> 01:42:33,423 Sets the stage for the audience. They know where we are. 1704 01:42:33,526 --> 01:42:35,321 You're already laughing. Why are you laughing at me? 1705 01:42:35,425 --> 01:42:37,220 I'm not laughing. I'm smiling.You are. 1706 01:42:37,323 --> 01:42:41,327 "There are palm trees above a brown 1707 01:42:42,190 --> 01:42:44,813 bark-like hair of the maiden. 1708 01:42:44,917 --> 01:42:46,781 There is a dead jellyfish--" 1709 01:42:46,884 --> 01:42:49,335 All you're doing is describing what you're actually seeing right now. 1710 01:42:49,439 --> 01:42:52,269 "He's nervous because he really likes her." 1711 01:42:53,132 --> 01:42:55,169 It's nice writing. 1712 01:42:55,272 --> 01:42:56,584 Thanks.You're welcome. 1713 01:42:56,687 --> 01:42:57,792 I'll keep going. 1714 01:42:57,895 --> 01:42:59,483 "He looked deep in her eyes. 1715 01:42:59,587 --> 01:43:03,038 The only thing that could compare to the pulse of that ocean 1716 01:43:03,832 --> 01:43:04,902 was the throbbing in the--" 1717 01:43:05,006 --> 01:43:08,112 Okay, no, you can't throb.Why not? 1718 01:43:08,216 --> 01:43:09,942 Can't come out of the gate with a throb. 1719 01:43:10,045 --> 01:43:12,358 You throb all the time.I don't come out of the gate with it. 1720 01:43:12,462 --> 01:43:14,360 You have to earn the throb.Who made you the queen of throb? 1721 01:43:14,464 --> 01:43:18,157 It's usually a chapter four thing. You want it brought up appropriately in four. 1722 01:43:18,261 --> 01:43:20,366 I think you throb in all the chapters. "Pulsating." 1723 01:43:20,470 --> 01:43:22,403 It's a precursor to throb. 1724 01:43:22,506 --> 01:43:24,612 "Undulating."You just jumped to five. 1725 01:43:24,715 --> 01:43:27,580 How 'bout they just kiss? Why not?Just like a regular kiss? 1726 01:43:27,684 --> 01:43:29,548 Yeah. Like a beginning-of-the-chapter kiss. 1727 01:43:29,651 --> 01:43:31,239 I'm good at starting-- 1728 01:43:35,105 --> 01:43:36,589 How was that? Any notes? 1729 01:43:37,349 --> 01:43:40,731 Very good first chapter attempt. 1730 01:43:41,870 --> 01:43:43,700 ♪ Bad chick I could be your fantasy♪ 1731 01:43:43,803 --> 01:43:46,012 ♪ I can tell You got big, big energy♪ 1732 01:43:46,116 --> 01:43:48,325 ♪ It ain't too many of 'em That can handle me♪ 1733 01:43:48,429 --> 01:43:50,327 ♪ But I might let you try it Off the Hennessy♪ 1734 01:43:50,431 --> 01:43:52,709 ♪ Make 'em sang to this thing Like a melody♪ 1735 01:43:52,812 --> 01:43:55,090 ♪ And if your girl ain't right I got the remedy♪ 1736 01:43:55,194 --> 01:43:57,645 ♪ It ain't too many of 'em That can handle me♪ 1737 01:43:57,748 --> 01:44:00,303 ♪ Bad chick I could be your fantasy♪ 1738 01:44:00,406 --> 01:44:01,890 ♪ Tell me how you want it♪ 1739 01:44:01,994 --> 01:44:03,858 ♪ Three, two, one And I'm on it♪ 1740 01:44:03,961 --> 01:44:05,825 ♪ Feel good, don't it? Hood chick, you in a bonnet♪ 1741 01:44:05,929 --> 01:44:07,896 ♪ I'ma bust it on a pole Like Onyx♪ 1742 01:44:08,000 --> 01:44:11,175 ♪ I'm just being honest Juicy, Minute Maid♪ 1743 01:44:11,279 --> 01:44:12,970 ♪ But can't do it One minute, man♪ 1744 01:44:13,074 --> 01:44:15,559 ♪ Not a side or a main I'm the only one he entertain♪ 1745 01:44:15,663 --> 01:44:17,734 ♪ Spending his Mine in the bank♪ 1746 01:44:17,837 --> 01:44:21,462 ♪ I like what I see A boss like you Need a boss like me♪ 1747 01:44:21,565 --> 01:44:23,533 ♪ Daddy from the street So he move low key♪ 1748 01:44:23,636 --> 01:44:25,914 ♪ Tryna ride that mic Like karaoke♪ 1749 01:44:26,018 --> 01:44:28,503 ♪ On the count of three Bad, get money♪ 1750 01:44:28,607 --> 01:44:30,678 ♪ Broke to the left We don't want it♪ 1751 01:44:30,781 --> 01:44:32,956 ♪ I'm the one they love to hate But they can't get past♪ 1752 01:44:33,059 --> 01:44:36,200 ♪ Pretty face, no waist And a big old back♪ 1753 01:44:36,304 --> 01:44:38,237 ♪ Bad chick I could be your fantasy♪ 1754 01:44:38,341 --> 01:44:40,481 ♪ I can tell you got Big, big energy♪ 1755 01:44:40,584 --> 01:44:42,690 ♪ It ain't too many of 'em That can handle me♪ 1756 01:44:42,793 --> 01:44:44,761 ♪ But I might let you try it Off the Hennessy♪ 1757 01:44:44,864 --> 01:44:47,039 ♪ Make 'em sing to this thing Like a melody♪ 1758 01:44:47,142 --> 01:44:49,490 ♪ And if your girl ain't right I got the remedy♪ 1759 01:44:49,593 --> 01:44:51,733 ♪ It ain't too many of 'em That can handle me♪ 1760 01:44:51,837 --> 01:44:54,253 ♪ Bad chick I could be your fantasy♪ 1761 01:44:54,357 --> 01:44:58,188 ♪ Got that real big energy...♪ 1762 01:45:05,989 --> 01:45:07,473 Psst! 1763 01:45:08,129 --> 01:45:09,613 Psst. 1764 01:45:10,580 --> 01:45:11,581 Psst. 1765 01:45:13,652 --> 01:45:14,618 Mother-- 1766 01:45:14,722 --> 01:45:16,448 You were dead. 1767 01:45:16,551 --> 01:45:19,416 Your brains came out of your face and hit the back of my throat. 1768 01:45:19,520 --> 01:45:22,074 -He was in my mouth. -Don't say he was in your mouth. 1769 01:45:22,177 --> 01:45:23,800 -I could taste you. -Don't ever say that. 1770 01:45:23,903 --> 01:45:29,081 We only use 10% of our brain, so I just switched to another 10%. 1771 01:45:29,184 --> 01:45:32,015 So, you're okay? 1772 01:45:32,118 --> 01:45:33,810 One hundred percent. 1773 01:45:33,913 --> 01:45:35,398 Meaning 10%. 1774 01:45:35,501 --> 01:45:37,261 We thought you were dead. 1775 01:45:37,365 --> 01:45:40,092 Naturally, I have some anger issues I need to let go of. 1776 01:45:40,195 --> 01:45:42,543 Of course.And resentment. 1777 01:45:44,441 --> 01:45:45,787 So good to see you, man. 1778 01:45:45,891 --> 01:45:47,962 Okay, let's keep the chatter down. 1779 01:45:48,065 --> 01:45:52,449 We're closing our eyes and reconnecting to our breath. 1780 01:45:53,519 --> 01:45:54,624 Great. 1781 01:45:55,452 --> 01:45:56,453 Great.