1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 Rev LU2021 2 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:12,542 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back to 3 00:00:12,742 --> 00:00:15,091 Play of the Week, where each week a new play is performed 4 00:00:15,291 --> 00:00:19,361 live in front of a studio audience and broadcast to the nation. 5 00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:23,732 I am Chris Bean, the fully reinstated director. 6 00:00:25,397 --> 00:00:28,687 Following Robert's ambitious turn as director last week, 7 00:00:28,887 --> 00:00:31,097 the cast came crawling back to me 8 00:00:31,297 --> 00:00:35,927 and I graciously agreed to take on the mantle of director once more. 9 00:00:36,127 --> 00:00:41,037 Which reminds me... Robert, here are your new lines for this evening. 10 00:00:42,373 --> 00:00:44,463 - This is blank. - Yes, it is. 11 00:00:44,986 --> 00:00:47,877 Robert and I mutually agreed it would be best for him 12 00:00:48,077 --> 00:00:51,637 to play only non-speaking roles this evening. 13 00:00:52,163 --> 00:00:56,173 Tonight's piece is a classic by the great playwright Shakespeare. 14 00:00:56,373 --> 00:00:58,576 To be clear, that's Simon Shakespeare, 15 00:00:58,776 --> 00:01:01,806 the much less well-known and much less well-regarded cousin 16 00:01:02,073 --> 00:01:03,723 of Colin Shakespeare. 17 00:01:04,957 --> 00:01:09,017 So, the actors are prepared, the stage is set. 18 00:01:09,223 --> 00:01:10,073 Please enjoy 19 00:01:10,273 --> 00:01:12,642 The Most Lamentable Tragedy Of The Prince Of England 20 00:01:12,842 --> 00:01:15,376 And His Long - lost Twin Brother Prince Regent Of France 21 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,248 And The Problems Therein Experienced By All 22 00:01:17,448 --> 00:01:20,048 When They Came To Know Of One Another After A Battle. 23 00:01:39,790 --> 00:01:42,350 A noble king is tended by his wife. 24 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,640 Advanced in years, he nears the end of... 25 00:01:46,965 --> 00:01:48,165 ...life. 26 00:01:48,365 --> 00:01:50,631 His kingdom disembowelled by bloody war, 27 00:01:50,831 --> 00:01:52,832 where death doth stalk from midland to... 28 00:01:55,541 --> 00:01:56,621 ...the shore. 29 00:02:00,550 --> 00:02:04,020 Prince Richard, who was out of wedlock birthed, 30 00:02:04,220 --> 00:02:06,970 carries his father's name but not his worth. 31 00:02:14,397 --> 00:02:17,303 Queen Isobel would his blood soon spill. 32 00:02:17,503 --> 00:02:20,203 Foul Malcolm plots and for the throne... 33 00:02:23,666 --> 00:02:25,137 ...he'd kill. 34 00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:34,397 With the fair lands in turmoil up and down, 35 00:02:34,597 --> 00:02:38,259 all men do scheme to try and seize the throne... 36 00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:39,489 Crown. 37 00:02:41,249 --> 00:02:43,639 All hail the King! 38 00:03:08,296 --> 00:03:10,779 A merry trumpet and a bold. 39 00:03:10,979 --> 00:03:16,149 But embolden me it doth not, for the body of the king doth canker. 40 00:03:16,349 --> 00:03:17,893 What medicine, my love? 41 00:03:18,093 --> 00:03:23,963 For me, there is none. For the kingdom, the remedy be my heir. 42 00:03:24,183 --> 00:03:26,929 His heir Richard is no better than air itself, 43 00:03:27,129 --> 00:03:29,649 born as he was of a lowly tavern strumpet. 44 00:03:29,849 --> 00:03:31,620 No son of mine is he. 45 00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:34,128 Call forth Eric the Jester. 46 00:03:34,727 --> 00:03:36,337 Eric the Jester! 47 00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:43,699 My liege, you call me forth but my name is Eric 48 00:03:43,899 --> 00:03:46,109 and I am first amongst your court. 49 00:03:54,779 --> 00:03:57,918 Good Eric, I called thee to tell you I do ail. 50 00:03:58,118 --> 00:03:59,887 My Lord, we all do ale! 51 00:04:00,087 --> 00:04:02,989 And at celebration we may wine too. 52 00:04:16,570 --> 00:04:18,779 - Bring forth... - Bring forth... 53 00:04:18,979 --> 00:04:21,859 - the King's... - The King's... 54 00:04:22,059 --> 00:04:23,820 - brother! - Brother! 55 00:04:42,389 --> 00:04:43,769 What news, good... 56 00:04:54,899 --> 00:04:56,649 What news, good brother? 57 00:04:57,708 --> 00:05:00,339 No news but thy impertinence, Malcolm. 58 00:05:00,539 --> 00:05:01,909 Kneel before your King. 59 00:05:14,659 --> 00:05:16,929 Nay, Malcolm. Let us speak as brothers! 60 00:05:17,129 --> 00:05:18,179 Stand. 61 00:05:24,817 --> 00:05:26,017 Whoa... 62 00:05:29,979 --> 00:05:33,339 I know my throne thou covet for thyself. 63 00:05:36,830 --> 00:05:39,339 Nay, Malcolm, if Richard doth beat the French down, 64 00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:42,090 it will be him, not you, that takes the crown. 65 00:05:42,290 --> 00:05:44,847 Call forth Prince Richard! 66 00:05:45,332 --> 00:05:47,232 - Bring forth... - Bring forth! 67 00:05:47,432 --> 00:05:48,608 - Prince... - Prince! 68 00:05:48,808 --> 00:05:50,714 - Richard! - Dick! 69 00:05:56,297 --> 00:05:58,016 You called for me, father? 70 00:06:02,386 --> 00:06:04,678 My days grow short, young Richard, 71 00:06:04,878 --> 00:06:07,958 and soon this crown shall pass unto thy head. 72 00:06:28,049 --> 00:06:30,857 Behold its dignity and pomp. 73 00:06:31,499 --> 00:06:35,948 I shall go forth to war and prove my sword is true. 74 00:06:36,349 --> 00:06:40,730 Well, if thou tastes victory, this crown shall pass to you. 75 00:06:41,271 --> 00:06:43,331 Come, we shall... 76 00:06:54,031 --> 00:06:57,019 P...p...prithee, 77 00:06:57,219 --> 00:06:59,179 where be my man penis? 78 00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:01,989 Tis vanish-ed. 79 00:07:04,483 --> 00:07:07,509 The...the spirits must have frowned upon it! 80 00:07:08,789 --> 00:07:10,323 And what are these... 81 00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:14,056 benetted baps? They... 82 00:07:15,779 --> 00:07:17,779 I must go consult the priest 83 00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:21,779 before any more of me is... 84 00:07:24,791 --> 00:07:26,200 ...released. 85 00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:39,738 And the court thought he was but an irrelevant trumpeter, 86 00:07:40,914 --> 00:07:43,480 but you shall soon see I am most relevant! 87 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:44,969 Non-speaking! 88 00:07:56,140 --> 00:07:57,140 Oof! 89 00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:03,569 I will not see that boy seated upon the throne. 90 00:08:03,769 --> 00:08:06,214 I'd rather see the kingdom in your hand. 91 00:08:06,414 --> 00:08:08,515 Good, my lady... 92 00:08:09,939 --> 00:08:11,635 You will be my queen. 93 00:08:11,835 --> 00:08:15,800 Oh, thou speakest poetry and my heart doth melt. 94 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:20,240 Now we're alone, spare me one secret kiss. 95 00:08:23,054 --> 00:08:26,509 One secret kiss. 96 00:08:26,709 --> 00:08:27,590 We're alone. 97 00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:31,370 - No, you're not. - Yes, we are...prithee. 98 00:08:33,484 --> 00:08:35,763 - She wants you to leave. - Get off! 99 00:08:43,369 --> 00:08:46,139 One secret kiss. 100 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:53,360 Come on... Just... 101 00:09:07,226 --> 00:09:10,856 Now we must be gone before the King sees aught's amiss. 102 00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:24,524 And now away from the King's fine court 103 00:09:24,724 --> 00:09:27,884 to a field where a bitter battle is fought. 104 00:09:28,876 --> 00:09:31,466 Each man covered in sweat and blood 105 00:09:31,866 --> 00:09:35,018 and every one prepared to die 106 00:09:35,218 --> 00:09:36,957 for the common... 107 00:09:37,157 --> 00:09:38,677 ...gud. 108 00:09:45,142 --> 00:09:47,116 Argh! 109 00:09:51,970 --> 00:09:54,631 Argh! Argh! 110 00:09:59,398 --> 00:10:01,556 - Cannon! - Cannon! 111 00:10:01,756 --> 00:10:03,967 - Load! - Load! 112 00:10:04,167 --> 00:10:05,127 Aim! 113 00:10:05,327 --> 00:10:06,701 Ooh! 114 00:10:06,901 --> 00:10:08,321 Oof! 115 00:10:10,982 --> 00:10:12,902 How fare you, sirrah? 116 00:10:13,102 --> 00:10:18,129 Er... Suf-FER-ing GREAT-ly AT the FRENCH - man's HAND 117 00:10:18,329 --> 00:10:22,088 but WHO come-ETH yon-DER hill-TOP? 118 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,588 A man. 119 00:10:25,121 --> 00:10:28,431 Tis Richard, our great prince, upon his steed. 120 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,371 What ho, fine friends. 121 00:10:30,571 --> 00:10:35,152 Steel your courage and stick it to your brother's back for we are one. 122 00:10:35,771 --> 00:10:36,503 Hurrah! 123 00:10:36,703 --> 00:10:37,260 HOO-ray! 124 00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:40,450 Yes! Hooray! Huzzah! 125 00:10:42,690 --> 00:10:47,119 Bravery rule thy head, let valour be thy light! Bravery... 126 00:10:47,319 --> 00:10:49,839 Oh, oh... Ah... Aaaaah... 127 00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:51,966 Dinky! Dinky! Come back! Come back here... 128 00:10:52,166 --> 00:10:54,557 All fight! Fight for good Richard! 129 00:10:54,757 --> 00:10:56,156 Get 'em! Kill the French! 130 00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:58,676 England forever! CHARGE! 131 00:11:00,390 --> 00:11:02,464 Oh, look! They're charging! 132 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:05,643 Get them! Kill the English! France forever! 133 00:11:05,843 --> 00:11:08,691 But wait, I cannot fight, I am a pacifist! 134 00:11:08,891 --> 00:11:10,421 A pacifist? Why are you here? 135 00:11:10,621 --> 00:11:12,662 I have to earn a living, don't I? What do you do? 136 00:11:12,862 --> 00:11:14,858 I'm a court trumpeter, but the pay is not enough. 137 00:11:15,058 --> 00:11:17,720 You're a court trumpeter pacifist who's been forced to go to war? 138 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:18,511 I am. 139 00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:20,911 What a layered and interesting man you are. 140 00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:22,071 I agree. 141 00:11:22,271 --> 00:11:25,128 Do you have a song that might outline your predicament in more detail? 142 00:11:25,328 --> 00:11:26,095 I do, sirrah. 143 00:11:26,295 --> 00:11:31,365 ♪ Oh, when I was a young trumpeter Hey-oh, hey-oh... ♪ 144 00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:32,965 Non-speaking! 145 00:11:43,778 --> 00:11:48,563 Curses! Another eager Englishman bearing bloody blade draws near. 146 00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:50,842 It is the foul Lord Buckingham 147 00:11:51,042 --> 00:11:52,866 whom we Frenchmen do fear. 148 00:11:55,130 --> 00:11:56,733 What ho, Prince Richard! 149 00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:59,043 He thinks me English like himself. 150 00:11:59,243 --> 00:12:02,158 He calls me Richard. What trickery is this? 151 00:12:02,358 --> 00:12:06,137 A fine battle we have won today and we raise our arms victorious. 152 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,573 The sun shines bright upon our deeds. 153 00:12:21,773 --> 00:12:24,269 These noble trees shall bear witness to our glory. 154 00:12:24,469 --> 00:12:27,971 And yet I am no tree! 155 00:12:28,171 --> 00:12:31,651 I am the relevant trumpeter, disguis-ed! 156 00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:39,123 Prince Richard, why wearest thou a Frenchman's cap upon thy pate? 157 00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:42,998 Thou art sure to draw the eye of our own archers in this behatted state. 158 00:12:43,198 --> 00:12:47,908 Buckingham! My father shan't deny that this dost prove my worth! 159 00:12:48,108 --> 00:12:50,377 God's teeth, I see my prince and there his shade 160 00:12:50,577 --> 00:12:51,951 as though a mirror were here before. 161 00:12:52,151 --> 00:12:54,887 By Jove, who art thou? We are one and the same. 162 00:12:55,087 --> 00:12:56,477 I am Prince Richard. 163 00:12:56,780 --> 00:12:59,020 Dick... 164 00:13:01,201 --> 00:13:02,486 Who art thou, sir? 165 00:13:02,686 --> 00:13:05,898 What ho! His voice is the echo of mine. 166 00:13:06,098 --> 00:13:08,371 Mine every syllable dost sound as thine. 167 00:13:08,571 --> 00:13:11,063 My ears deceived both, they sound alike. 168 00:13:11,263 --> 00:13:14,750 From whence do you hail? Come take my hand -e! 169 00:13:18,750 --> 00:13:20,511 I shall not, sir. 170 00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:22,226 I am Prince of... 171 00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:23,865 ...Eng - land -e! 172 00:13:27,288 --> 00:13:30,480 Some magic trickery. How can this be? 173 00:13:34,418 --> 00:13:37,028 His every feature doth mirror me. 174 00:13:39,016 --> 00:13:41,946 Identical except in... BIRTH! 175 00:13:44,604 --> 00:13:47,074 Same voice, same height, 176 00:13:47,390 --> 00:13:48,910 same...GIRTH! 177 00:13:51,803 --> 00:13:59,147 Our gestures knit, each hair in pla-ace-ay-ay-hey-hey-HEY-HEY-HEY! 178 00:13:59,347 --> 00:14:01,487 AY-hey! 179 00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:09,650 It is as if the devil stole my... 180 00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:15,960 ...fa-ace-ay-ay-hey-hey-HEY-HEY-HEY! 181 00:14:23,918 --> 00:14:26,518 And I'm playing a tree? Seriously? 182 00:14:27,198 --> 00:14:30,020 Bind this fellow, lock him away. 183 00:14:30,220 --> 00:14:32,637 I shall to my father this very day. 184 00:14:32,837 --> 00:14:34,237 Lower the bridge! 185 00:14:34,727 --> 00:14:35,571 Argh! 186 00:14:35,771 --> 00:14:37,411 Raise the bridge! Raise the bridge! 187 00:14:37,611 --> 00:14:39,240 Ah... Lower the bridge! 188 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,620 Ah... 189 00:14:55,550 --> 00:14:58,950 Push it up! Lift it! Push it up! Lift it up! 190 00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:09,918 Three, two, one, go! 191 00:15:18,674 --> 00:15:21,954 The battle won by England's merry throng. 192 00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:26,241 Good Eric, toast their health and give a song! 193 00:15:33,110 --> 00:15:36,284 ♪ Bonny Peggy Ramsay that any man may see 194 00:15:36,484 --> 00:15:39,704 ♪ Bonny was her face Fair freckled was she 195 00:15:39,904 --> 00:15:42,741 ♪ Hey, nonny, nonny Hey, nonny, nay! 196 00:15:42,941 --> 00:15:46,221 ♪ With a slap of my thigh I will dance all the day! 197 00:15:46,550 --> 00:15:48,531 ♪ With a slap of his thigh he will dance all the day! ♪ 198 00:15:48,731 --> 00:15:50,994 Ooh! 199 00:15:54,397 --> 00:15:55,947 Argh! Argh! 200 00:16:05,828 --> 00:16:09,070 ♪ There was a goose that was porked by a ham 201 00:16:09,270 --> 00:16:12,890 ♪ I have a sausage, as I am a man 202 00:16:13,090 --> 00:16:15,658 ♪ He has a sausage, as he is a man 203 00:16:15,858 --> 00:16:18,842 ♪ The goose was in charge I drank to its health 204 00:16:19,042 --> 00:16:22,529 ♪ Then I took off my trousers and showed it myself 205 00:16:22,729 --> 00:16:25,631 ♪ He took off his trousers and showed it himself... ♪ 206 00:16:25,831 --> 00:16:28,350 This is a most pleasing tune. 207 00:16:28,550 --> 00:16:32,150 Oh, prithee, more. What happened to Bonny Peggy Ramsay? 208 00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:37,324 ♪ Erm... 209 00:16:37,524 --> 00:16:40,691 ♪ Bonny Peggy came back and what did she see? 210 00:16:40,891 --> 00:16:44,367 ♪ The goose it was nude and laying with me 211 00:16:44,567 --> 00:16:47,640 ♪ The goose it was nude and laying with he 212 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:51,131 ♪ It was the first time It shan't be the last 213 00:16:51,331 --> 00:16:53,658 ♪ I put my sausage in the goose's... ♪ 214 00:16:53,858 --> 00:16:57,575 Prithee, no more, Fool! That's... that's quite enough. Thank you. 215 00:16:57,775 --> 00:17:00,384 What a charming diversion, Fool. More goose, my love? 216 00:17:00,634 --> 00:17:02,390 No! 217 00:17:03,603 --> 00:17:06,387 I have lost the taste for it, methinks. 218 00:17:06,587 --> 00:17:07,545 Father! 219 00:17:07,745 --> 00:17:09,275 What is the meaning of this?! 220 00:17:09,548 --> 00:17:12,363 Upon our fighting in your name did I happen upon this man, 221 00:17:12,563 --> 00:17:13,786 the very shadow of me. 222 00:17:13,986 --> 00:17:15,522 Bless my soul. 223 00:17:15,722 --> 00:17:19,658 Two sons now before me - mine own and this, his brother. 224 00:17:20,003 --> 00:17:22,963 So you confess, this man is my kin? How came this to be so? 225 00:17:23,163 --> 00:17:26,444 Alack, I must at last confess my sin. 226 00:17:26,644 --> 00:17:30,240 Your mother was no strumpet but Queen Eleanor of France herself. 227 00:17:31,326 --> 00:17:32,121 Stop it. 228 00:17:32,462 --> 00:17:34,156 Our kingdoms both at war, 229 00:17:34,356 --> 00:17:38,225 you were born in secret, brought to be raised under mine eye, 230 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:41,162 whilst he, your twin, remained with her. 231 00:17:41,716 --> 00:17:43,674 I hope that all shall now be healed, 232 00:17:43,874 --> 00:17:46,964 at last this wicked truth revealed. 233 00:17:56,554 --> 00:17:59,009 And fortune hath united you. 234 00:17:59,209 --> 00:18:02,624 So you and I are brothers of both French and English blood. 235 00:18:02,824 --> 00:18:03,618 To me. 236 00:18:03,818 --> 00:18:07,528 So you and I are brothers of both French and English blood. 237 00:18:07,916 --> 00:18:09,862 Father, at last our war can end. 238 00:18:10,062 --> 00:18:11,060 Not to me. 239 00:18:11,260 --> 00:18:13,830 Father, at last our war can end. 240 00:18:14,867 --> 00:18:17,737 Yet some wounds be too deep to mend. 241 00:18:29,990 --> 00:18:33,020 A blood moon rose, portending doom. 242 00:18:35,846 --> 00:18:38,748 For foul and bloody murder loomed. 243 00:18:38,948 --> 00:18:41,150 As the King retired to bed that night, 244 00:18:41,350 --> 00:18:43,401 he did not know he'd seen his final light. 245 00:18:58,917 --> 00:19:02,728 My father for his sins shall now atone. 246 00:19:02,928 --> 00:19:04,666 Then I, Prince Richard... 247 00:19:04,866 --> 00:19:06,457 Dick... 248 00:19:07,670 --> 00:19:09,893 ...shall not share the throne. 249 00:19:10,438 --> 00:19:15,908 A single drop of poison in thine ear will rob thee of thy health. 250 00:19:16,108 --> 00:19:21,191 Approach I now in silence and in stealth. 251 00:19:30,772 --> 00:19:32,452 Come, subtle poison... 252 00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:41,148 Come, subtle poison, 253 00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:44,536 do thy work. 254 00:19:45,847 --> 00:19:47,328 Sorry! Sorry! 255 00:19:47,856 --> 00:19:50,102 The king is dead, 256 00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:53,696 but I'll not bear the guilt. 257 00:19:54,024 --> 00:19:57,973 I'll frame fair Louis, then run him to the hilt. 258 00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:01,854 Treachery! Foul treachery! 259 00:20:02,484 --> 00:20:03,689 What news is this? 260 00:20:03,889 --> 00:20:06,749 The Frenchman Louis hath killed the king! 261 00:20:07,004 --> 00:20:07,798 What ho? 262 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:09,885 The king is dead! 263 00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:14,817 My father dead, 264 00:20:15,642 --> 00:20:16,962 reluctant... 265 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,521 ...I am king. 266 00:20:23,950 --> 00:20:26,924 Now to the tower we shall this traitor bring. 267 00:20:27,343 --> 00:20:27,688 Guard! 268 00:20:27,888 --> 00:20:29,336 My liege! 269 00:20:30,110 --> 00:20:31,440 Take him away. 270 00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:34,775 Yet foolish Richard knew not I was no guard. 271 00:20:35,214 --> 00:20:37,121 I was the relevant trumpeter! 272 00:20:37,321 --> 00:20:38,631 Robert! 273 00:20:38,910 --> 00:20:39,724 Adieu. 274 00:20:39,924 --> 00:20:42,979 Foul trickery, villainy. Thou art knaves! 275 00:20:43,179 --> 00:20:46,199 Come, Eric, wake the castle, assemble the court! 276 00:20:46,399 --> 00:20:49,189 All must hear of Louis' wicked sport. 277 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:50,324 My lord. 278 00:20:50,524 --> 00:20:54,651 Aside. I spy upon his hand a stain of poison green. 279 00:20:55,508 --> 00:20:57,588 No. It's an aside - say it to the side. 280 00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:02,044 I spy upon his hand a stain of poison green. 281 00:21:02,244 --> 00:21:04,673 No. To the side! 282 00:21:05,550 --> 00:21:08,778 I spy upon his hand a stain of poison green. 283 00:21:09,008 --> 00:21:11,369 I must betray this message to my Queen. 284 00:21:12,786 --> 00:21:13,826 Go, then! 285 00:21:17,607 --> 00:21:22,103 My Queen, I bid thee brace thyself for news most foul. 286 00:21:22,314 --> 00:21:24,855 Prithee, tell me the cause of thy scowl. 287 00:21:25,055 --> 00:21:28,974 Tarry a moment for, erm...for, erm... 288 00:21:32,444 --> 00:21:35,004 ...tis about the King. 289 00:21:36,748 --> 00:21:38,013 Prithee, tell me. 290 00:21:38,213 --> 00:21:40,486 Tis it about the king? 291 00:21:40,686 --> 00:21:44,199 Yes. Methinks it is. 292 00:21:44,399 --> 00:21:47,266 You bring me news of the King's health? 293 00:21:47,466 --> 00:21:49,186 Methinks... 294 00:21:49,550 --> 00:21:51,725 Methinks...the King is well. 295 00:21:51,925 --> 00:21:53,125 - Nope. - The King is dead. 296 00:21:53,325 --> 00:21:53,537 Mm-hm. 297 00:21:53,737 --> 00:21:56,270 Aye! The King is well dead. 298 00:21:57,711 --> 00:22:00,122 But the worst is still to come for, er...er... 299 00:22:01,382 --> 00:22:02,487 Speak, Fool! 300 00:22:02,687 --> 00:22:03,997 Oh, it's the twist. 301 00:22:04,197 --> 00:22:07,277 Ay! He was murdered by Chris. 302 00:22:09,926 --> 00:22:13,076 Prithee, but who doth Chris play? 303 00:22:13,470 --> 00:22:14,287 The King. 304 00:22:14,487 --> 00:22:16,972 Nay. The king didn't kill the king, did he? 305 00:22:17,172 --> 00:22:21,077 But he...he said he was the King... methinks. 306 00:22:21,277 --> 00:22:22,753 Yes, well, he's the King now 307 00:22:22,953 --> 00:22:26,019 but before he killed the King, who was he? 308 00:22:26,219 --> 00:22:27,334 - Chris. - No! 309 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:30,260 That's reality. 310 00:22:30,912 --> 00:22:33,402 Join me in fiction... 311 00:22:35,743 --> 00:22:38,543 In the play, who is Chris? 312 00:22:38,931 --> 00:22:39,802 The director. 313 00:22:40,002 --> 00:22:42,432 No! Which character? 314 00:22:42,722 --> 00:22:44,294 Wasn't he Richard? 315 00:22:44,494 --> 00:22:45,712 - No. - Yes, he was. 316 00:22:45,912 --> 00:22:46,671 I thought he was Louis. 317 00:22:46,871 --> 00:22:48,888 No, he's Richard. They are twins. 318 00:22:49,088 --> 00:22:50,146 But they don't look the same. 319 00:22:50,346 --> 00:22:53,916 They're not... Why are you confused! 320 00:22:55,179 --> 00:22:57,079 I don't even want to be in this scene. 321 00:22:59,693 --> 00:23:00,693 Just... 322 00:23:01,089 --> 00:23:02,135 Look... 323 00:23:02,335 --> 00:23:06,056 My goodly fool, my heart in pieces 324 00:23:06,717 --> 00:23:09,321 tides thee submit gentle Malcolm hither. 325 00:23:09,521 --> 00:23:09,696 What? 326 00:23:09,896 --> 00:23:11,797 Get Malcolm! Get Malcolm! Get Malcolm! 327 00:23:12,030 --> 00:23:13,690 All right, all right, all right! 328 00:23:15,315 --> 00:23:19,385 Oh, double joy, for now King Walter's dead, 329 00:23:19,635 --> 00:23:22,694 his heir shall join when Malcolm kills Rich-ed. 330 00:23:22,894 --> 00:23:23,747 Here. 331 00:23:24,072 --> 00:23:29,051 No! Get the actor who, in the play, is Malcolm! 332 00:23:29,256 --> 00:23:30,217 I'm so sorry. 333 00:23:30,417 --> 00:23:31,554 Malcolm! 334 00:23:38,036 --> 00:23:40,105 Now is the time to seize this power. 335 00:23:40,305 --> 00:23:43,265 Richard and Louis must die this very hour. 336 00:23:43,726 --> 00:23:47,560 You speak the truth, m'lady. To the dungeon! 337 00:24:02,281 --> 00:24:04,110 Oh, no! 338 00:24:21,842 --> 00:24:23,482 To the dungeons! 339 00:24:30,710 --> 00:24:33,127 I will stretch thee until thou canst no more. 340 00:24:33,327 --> 00:24:36,057 Demon of hell, do thy worst. 341 00:24:46,180 --> 00:24:47,211 Ooh! 342 00:24:47,411 --> 00:24:50,311 Ooh! Ooooh! 343 00:24:50,711 --> 00:24:53,561 Oo-oooh! Wahey! 344 00:24:56,653 --> 00:24:59,669 Go, torturer, leave this knave to me. 345 00:24:59,869 --> 00:25:02,080 I shall to hell dispatch him presently. 346 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,900 My liege! 347 00:25:06,103 --> 00:25:10,003 Will thou unbind my hands so that I may pray? 348 00:25:10,692 --> 00:25:12,081 Be quick. 349 00:25:12,634 --> 00:25:14,434 Then I shall send thee on thy way. 350 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:20,178 With one swift strike, I set both of us free. 351 00:25:21,478 --> 00:25:25,454 Thus with your death, my secret dies with thee. 352 00:25:26,792 --> 00:25:28,396 Not so fast! 353 00:25:30,172 --> 00:25:32,301 Well, Malcolm here has caught me unaware. 354 00:25:37,421 --> 00:25:40,741 No mercy, now your treachery is revealed. 355 00:25:41,187 --> 00:25:42,525 Then let us fight. 356 00:25:42,725 --> 00:25:45,046 And death to him who yields. 357 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:50,560 Oh, no! 358 00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:01,261 Prince Richard, struck by Malcolm's noble blade. 359 00:26:05,766 --> 00:26:07,476 Argh! 360 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,750 Thus with this wound my plans are all unmade. 361 00:26:10,950 --> 00:26:14,758 Guard! Take him away! 362 00:26:14,958 --> 00:26:16,369 Oh... 363 00:26:16,711 --> 00:26:19,191 Throw him in the darkest cell. 364 00:26:21,033 --> 00:26:25,535 Thank you, sweet Malcolm. The day is saved and all is well! 365 00:26:32,834 --> 00:26:36,135 One twin is defeated. Now strike the other down. 366 00:26:36,335 --> 00:26:39,896 With them both gone, we two shall share the crown. 367 00:26:41,613 --> 00:26:44,063 Prepare to die! 368 00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:48,401 Another traitor in this nest of snakes. 369 00:26:49,050 --> 00:26:51,530 Let our blades decide our fates. 370 00:26:55,390 --> 00:26:58,126 Thy sharp tongue cannot harm me now. 371 00:26:58,326 --> 00:27:01,292 Hya! Hya! Hya! 372 00:27:01,492 --> 00:27:06,268 My blade doth pierce your back... and you fall. 373 00:27:22,850 --> 00:27:25,548 Malcolm is dead. Richard is in chains. 374 00:27:25,748 --> 00:27:27,848 The crown does pass onto Louis' head. 375 00:27:33,869 --> 00:27:37,459 Er...Louis is...dead. 376 00:27:37,786 --> 00:27:41,167 So the crown shall now pass onto... 377 00:27:41,367 --> 00:27:43,567 ...Queen Isobel. 378 00:27:51,831 --> 00:27:52,981 Argh! 379 00:27:55,281 --> 00:27:56,470 No. 380 00:27:56,670 --> 00:27:58,036 No... 381 00:27:58,236 --> 00:28:02,770 The crown shall now pass onto... 382 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:06,020 No. 383 00:28:09,039 --> 00:28:10,039 Oh, dear. 384 00:28:10,239 --> 00:28:11,715 Er... 385 00:28:12,145 --> 00:28:14,934 It seems all our characters are spent. 386 00:28:16,669 --> 00:28:19,949 And, at last, the trumpeter... is relevant! 387 00:28:30,442 --> 00:28:32,073 Execute Chris!