1 00:02:08,806 --> 00:02:12,350 Saturday, March 24, 1984. 2 00:02:13,519 --> 00:02:17,647 Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois, 60062. 3 00:02:23,279 --> 00:02:24,946 Dear Mr. Vernon... 4 00:02:26,282 --> 00:02:29,159 we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention 5 00:02:29,243 --> 00:02:31,786 for whatever it was we did wrong. 6 00:02:32,329 --> 00:02:33,663 What we did was wrong. 7 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:37,041 But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay 8 00:02:37,126 --> 00:02:39,002 telling you who we think we are. 9 00:02:39,962 --> 00:02:41,963 What do you care? 10 00:02:43,591 --> 00:02:45,592 You see us as you want to see us, 11 00:02:45,676 --> 00:02:47,385 in the simplest terms 12 00:02:47,469 --> 00:02:49,429 and most convenient definitions. 13 00:02:49,513 --> 00:02:51,973 You see us as a brain, 14 00:02:52,057 --> 00:02:54,309 an athlete, 15 00:02:54,393 --> 00:02:56,686 a basket case, 16 00:02:56,770 --> 00:02:59,063 a princess, 17 00:02:59,148 --> 00:03:00,899 and a criminal. 18 00:03:02,985 --> 00:03:04,194 Correct? 19 00:03:07,198 --> 00:03:11,326 That's the way we saw each other at 7:00 this morning. 20 00:03:11,410 --> 00:03:12,619 We were brainwashed. 21 00:03:22,588 --> 00:03:25,215 I can't believe you can't get me out of this. 22 00:03:27,009 --> 00:03:30,178 I mean, it's so absurd I have to be here on a Saturday. 23 00:03:32,097 --> 00:03:35,683 - It's not like I'm a defective or anything. - I'll make it up to you. 24 00:03:36,518 --> 00:03:40,104 Honey, ditching class to go shopping doesn't make you a defective. 25 00:03:40,189 --> 00:03:42,023 Have a good day. 26 00:03:46,862 --> 00:03:50,073 Is this the first time or the last time we do this? 27 00:03:50,157 --> 00:03:51,324 Last. 28 00:03:51,408 --> 00:03:54,118 Well, get in there and use the time to your advantage. 29 00:03:54,203 --> 00:03:56,996 Mom, we're not supposed to study. We just have to sit there and do nothing. 30 00:03:57,081 --> 00:04:00,208 - Well, mister, you figure out a way to study. - Yeah. 31 00:04:02,753 --> 00:04:04,128 Well, go. 32 00:04:10,719 --> 00:04:13,763 Hey, I screwed around. Guys screw around. 33 00:04:13,847 --> 00:04:17,100 There's nothing wrong with that. Except you got caught, sport. 34 00:04:17,935 --> 00:04:19,978 Yeah, Mom already reamed me, all right? 35 00:04:20,062 --> 00:04:22,730 You want to miss a match? You want to blow your ride? 36 00:04:24,775 --> 00:04:27,819 Now, no school is gonna give a scholarship to a discipline case. 37 00:05:56,533 --> 00:05:59,452 Well, well. Here we are. 38 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,915 I wanna congratulate you for being on time. 39 00:06:03,999 --> 00:06:06,834 Excuse me, sir. I think there's been a mistake. 40 00:06:06,919 --> 00:06:11,255 I know it's detention, but, I don't think I belong in here. 41 00:06:14,134 --> 00:06:17,720 It is now 7:06. 42 00:06:17,805 --> 00:06:21,641 You have exactly eight hours and 54 minutes to think about why you're here, 43 00:06:23,102 --> 00:06:25,019 to ponder the error of your ways. 44 00:06:27,773 --> 00:06:30,149 You may not talk. 45 00:06:31,735 --> 00:06:34,737 You will not move from these seats. 46 00:06:37,616 --> 00:06:38,825 And you... 47 00:06:39,576 --> 00:06:40,993 will not sleep. 48 00:06:45,999 --> 00:06:49,627 All right, people, we're gonna try something a little different today. 49 00:06:49,711 --> 00:06:51,712 We are going to write an essay... 50 00:06:53,048 --> 00:06:55,883 of no less than a thousand words... 51 00:06:56,969 --> 00:06:59,095 describing to me who you think you are. 52 00:06:59,179 --> 00:07:00,304 This a test? 53 00:07:00,389 --> 00:07:04,809 And when I say "essay," I mean essay. 54 00:07:05,853 --> 00:07:10,481 I do not mean a single word repeated a thousand times. 55 00:07:11,358 --> 00:07:12,650 Is that clear, Mr. Bender? 56 00:07:13,902 --> 00:07:15,653 - Crystal. - Good. 57 00:07:15,737 --> 00:07:18,114 Maybe you'll learn a little something about yourself. 58 00:07:18,198 --> 00:07:21,868 Maybe you'll even decide whether or not you care to return. 59 00:07:23,162 --> 00:07:25,788 You know, I can answer that right now, sir. 60 00:07:25,873 --> 00:07:27,707 That'd be "no" for me, 'cause - 61 00:07:27,791 --> 00:07:30,209 - Sit down, Johnson. - Thank you, sir. 62 00:07:32,421 --> 00:07:34,839 My office is right across that hall. 63 00:07:34,923 --> 00:07:37,467 Any monkey business is ill-advised. 64 00:07:37,551 --> 00:07:38,718 Any questions? 65 00:07:41,346 --> 00:07:43,848 Yeah. I got a question. 66 00:07:43,932 --> 00:07:46,976 Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe? 67 00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:50,229 I'll give you the answer to that question, Mr. Bender, next Saturday. 68 00:07:52,524 --> 00:07:55,693 Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns. 69 00:07:58,197 --> 00:08:00,740 That man is a brownie hound. 70 00:08:33,106 --> 00:08:35,775 You keep eatin' your hand, you're not gonna be hungry for lunch. 71 00:08:38,445 --> 00:08:40,613 I've seen you before, you know. 72 00:08:51,166 --> 00:08:53,584 Who I think I am. 73 00:08:53,669 --> 00:08:55,920 Who are you? 74 00:08:56,004 --> 00:08:57,505 Who are you? 75 00:09:00,217 --> 00:09:02,093 I am a walrus. 76 00:09:34,418 --> 00:09:36,085 It's the shits? 77 00:10:06,950 --> 00:10:10,036 I can't believe this is really happening to me. 78 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,121 Oh, shit! 79 00:10:12,205 --> 00:10:14,957 What are we supposed to do if we have to take a piss? 80 00:10:15,042 --> 00:10:16,959 - Please. - If you gotta go, you gotta go. 81 00:10:19,129 --> 00:10:20,838 Oh, my God. 82 00:10:20,922 --> 00:10:23,966 - Hey, you're not urinating in here, man. - Don't talk. It makes it crawl back up. 83 00:10:24,051 --> 00:10:27,803 You whip it out and you're dead before the first drop hits the floor. 84 00:10:29,097 --> 00:10:32,642 You're pretty sexy when you get angry. 85 00:10:34,686 --> 00:10:37,730 Hey, homeboy, why don't you go close that door? 86 00:10:37,814 --> 00:10:40,483 We'll get the prom queen impregnated. 87 00:10:41,234 --> 00:10:43,694 Hey. Hey! 88 00:10:43,779 --> 00:10:44,654 What? 89 00:10:44,738 --> 00:10:47,657 If I lose my temper, you're totaled, man. 90 00:10:47,741 --> 00:10:49,825 Totally? 91 00:10:49,910 --> 00:10:50,951 Totally. 92 00:10:51,036 --> 00:10:54,413 Why don't you shut up? Nobody here is interested. 93 00:10:55,582 --> 00:10:57,416 Really. 94 00:10:57,501 --> 00:10:59,126 Butt face. 95 00:10:59,211 --> 00:11:03,381 Hey, sporto, what'd you do to get in here? Forget to wash your jock? 96 00:11:03,465 --> 00:11:06,300 Excuse me, fellas. I think we should just write our papers. 97 00:11:06,385 --> 00:11:08,761 Just because you live in here doesn't give you the right to be a pain in the ass. 98 00:11:08,845 --> 00:11:10,471 So knock it off! 99 00:11:11,014 --> 00:11:12,932 Well, it's a free country. 100 00:11:13,016 --> 00:11:16,977 He's just doing it to get a rise out of you. Just ignore him. 101 00:11:17,854 --> 00:11:19,438 Sweets? 102 00:11:20,482 --> 00:11:23,109 You couldn't ignore me if you tried. 103 00:11:26,029 --> 00:11:27,405 So... 104 00:11:29,366 --> 00:11:30,741 so... 105 00:11:31,952 --> 00:11:33,786 are you guys, like, boyfriend-girlfriend? 106 00:11:36,164 --> 00:11:37,540 Steady dates? 107 00:11:39,626 --> 00:11:41,001 Lovers? 108 00:11:42,295 --> 00:11:45,256 Come on, sporto. Level with me. 109 00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:47,675 Do you slip her the hot-beef injection? 110 00:11:47,759 --> 00:11:49,552 - Go to hell! - Enough! 111 00:11:49,636 --> 00:11:51,929 Hey! What's going on in there? 112 00:11:54,725 --> 00:11:56,100 Spoiled little pricks. 113 00:12:03,108 --> 00:12:04,817 Scumbag. 114 00:12:06,319 --> 00:12:08,362 What do you say we close that door? 115 00:12:08,447 --> 00:12:11,282 We can't have any kind of party with Vernon checking us out every few seconds. 116 00:12:11,366 --> 00:12:13,367 You know, the door's supposed to stay open. 117 00:12:13,452 --> 00:12:15,286 - So what? - So why don't you just shut up? 118 00:12:15,370 --> 00:12:17,621 - There's four other people in here, you know. - God, you can count. 119 00:12:17,706 --> 00:12:20,332 See, I knew you had to be smart to be a wrestler. 120 00:12:20,417 --> 00:12:23,002 - Who the hell are you to judge anybody anyway? - Really. 121 00:12:23,754 --> 00:12:25,671 You know, Bender, you don't even count. 122 00:12:25,756 --> 00:12:28,466 If you disappeared forever, it wouldn't make any difference. 123 00:12:28,550 --> 00:12:30,760 You may as well not even exist at this school. 124 00:12:34,222 --> 00:12:38,225 Well, I'll just run right out and join the wrestling team. 125 00:12:38,310 --> 00:12:40,436 Maybe the prep club too. 126 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:43,689 - Student council. - No. They wouldn't take you. 127 00:12:43,774 --> 00:12:45,024 I'm hurtin'. 128 00:12:45,108 --> 00:12:47,401 You know why guys like you knock everything? 129 00:12:47,486 --> 00:12:49,487 - Oh, this should be stunning. - It's 'cause you're afraid. 130 00:12:49,571 --> 00:12:53,741 Oh, God, you richies are so smart. That's exactly why I'm not heavy into activities. 131 00:12:53,825 --> 00:12:55,534 You're a big coward. 132 00:12:55,619 --> 00:12:57,077 I'm in the math club. 133 00:12:57,162 --> 00:13:01,040 You're afraid they won't take you. You don't belong, so you have to dump all over it. 134 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,918 Well, it wouldn't have anything to do 135 00:13:04,002 --> 00:13:06,837 with you activities people being assholes, now, would it? 136 00:13:06,922 --> 00:13:09,590 You wouldn't know. You don't even know any of us. 137 00:13:09,674 --> 00:13:12,051 Well, I don't know any lepers either, 138 00:13:12,135 --> 00:13:14,261 but I'm not gonna run out and join one of their fucking clubs. 139 00:13:14,346 --> 00:13:17,139 - Hey, let's watch the mouth? - I'm in the physics club too. 140 00:13:17,808 --> 00:13:20,476 Excuse me a sec. What are you babbling about? 141 00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:23,938 Well, what I'd said was, I'm in the math club, 142 00:13:24,022 --> 00:13:26,941 the Latin club, and the physics clu - physics club. 143 00:13:29,528 --> 00:13:31,737 Hey. Cherry. 144 00:13:34,032 --> 00:13:35,908 Do you belong to the physics club? 145 00:13:35,992 --> 00:13:38,494 That's an academic club. 146 00:13:38,578 --> 00:13:39,995 So? 147 00:13:41,581 --> 00:13:44,542 So, academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs. 148 00:13:44,626 --> 00:13:48,379 Ah, but to dorks like him, they are. 149 00:13:49,506 --> 00:13:51,507 What do you guys do in your club? 150 00:13:51,591 --> 00:13:56,470 In physics, well, w-we, - we talk about physics, properties of physics. 151 00:13:56,555 --> 00:13:58,472 So it's sort of social. 152 00:13:58,557 --> 00:14:01,725 Demented and sad, but social. Right? 153 00:14:01,810 --> 00:14:04,979 Yeah, well, I guess you could consider it a social situation. 154 00:14:05,063 --> 00:14:08,190 I mean, there are other children in my club. 155 00:14:08,275 --> 00:14:13,779 And, a-at the end of the year we have a big banquet at the Hilton. 156 00:14:13,864 --> 00:14:16,115 You load up. You party. 157 00:14:17,284 --> 00:14:20,828 No. We get dressed up, but we don't - we don't get high. 158 00:14:20,912 --> 00:14:22,746 Only burners like you get high. 159 00:14:22,831 --> 00:14:25,165 I didn't have any shoes, so I had to borrow my dad's. 160 00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:27,918 It was kinda weird, 'cause my mom doesn't like me to wear other people's shoes. 161 00:14:28,003 --> 00:14:31,922 My cousal K - My cousin Kendall from Indiana, he got high once. 162 00:14:32,007 --> 00:14:36,677 He started eating really weird foods. Then he felt like he didn't belong anywhere. 163 00:14:36,761 --> 00:14:38,929 Kind of like, you know, Twilight Zone, kind of. 164 00:14:39,014 --> 00:14:40,097 Sounds like you. 165 00:14:40,181 --> 00:14:43,225 You guys keep up your talking and Vernon's gonna come right in here. 166 00:14:43,310 --> 00:14:46,562 I got a meet this Saturday. I'm not gonna miss it on account of you boneheads. 167 00:14:46,646 --> 00:14:48,772 Oh, and wouldn't that be a bite? 168 00:14:48,857 --> 00:14:50,774 Missing a whole wrestling meet? 169 00:14:50,859 --> 00:14:52,943 Well, you wouldn't know anything about it, faggot. 170 00:14:53,028 --> 00:14:55,863 - You never competed in your whole life. - Oh, I know. 171 00:14:55,947 --> 00:14:57,865 And I feel all empty inside because of it. 172 00:14:57,949 --> 00:15:02,369 I have such a deep admiration for guys who roll around on the floor with other guys. 173 00:15:02,454 --> 00:15:05,414 Ah, you'd never miss it. You don't have any goals. 174 00:15:05,498 --> 00:15:06,832 - Oh, but I do. - Yeah? 175 00:15:06,917 --> 00:15:09,501 I want to be just like you. 176 00:15:09,586 --> 00:15:13,756 I figure all I need's a lobotomy and some tights. 177 00:15:15,717 --> 00:15:17,843 You wear tights? 178 00:15:17,928 --> 00:15:21,555 No, I don't wear tights. I wear the required uniform. 179 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:22,765 Tights. 180 00:15:22,849 --> 00:15:24,099 Shut up. 181 00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:46,872 You know, there's not supposed to be any, monkey business. 182 00:15:46,957 --> 00:15:49,166 Young man, have you finished your paper? 183 00:15:54,130 --> 00:15:56,131 Come on, Bender, don't screw around. 184 00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,425 - What are you gonna do? - Drop dead, I hope. 185 00:16:08,103 --> 00:16:10,145 All right! 186 00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:12,356 Bender, that's - that's school property there. 187 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:16,026 I mean, that doesn't belong to us. It's something not to be toyed with. 188 00:16:16,111 --> 00:16:18,988 - That's very funny. Come on. Fix it. - You should really fix that. 189 00:16:19,072 --> 00:16:21,281 - Am I a genius? - No, you're an asshole. 190 00:16:21,366 --> 00:16:23,617 - What a funny guy. Everyone, just. - Fix the door, Bender! 191 00:16:23,702 --> 00:16:25,828 Listen. I've been here before. I know what I'm doing. 192 00:16:25,912 --> 00:16:27,997 - No! Fix the door! Get up there - - Shut up! 193 00:16:28,081 --> 00:16:29,665 Goddamn it! 194 00:16:34,045 --> 00:16:36,046 Why is that door closed? 195 00:16:39,551 --> 00:16:41,468 Why is that door closed? 196 00:16:41,553 --> 00:16:44,930 How are we supposed to know? We're not supposed to move. Right? 197 00:16:45,015 --> 00:16:46,015 Why? 198 00:16:47,934 --> 00:16:51,020 We're just sitting here, like we're supposed to. 199 00:16:55,775 --> 00:16:57,401 Who closed that door? 200 00:16:58,820 --> 00:17:01,530 - I think a screw fell out of it. - It just closed, sir. 201 00:17:02,657 --> 00:17:04,283 Who? 202 00:17:05,952 --> 00:17:07,703 She doesn't talk, sir. 203 00:17:10,331 --> 00:17:12,291 - Give me that screw. - I don't have it. 204 00:17:12,375 --> 00:17:14,668 You want me to yank you out of that seat and shake it out of you? 205 00:17:14,753 --> 00:17:18,756 I don't have it. Screws fall out all the time. The world's an imperfect place. 206 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:20,716 Give it to me, Bender. 207 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,093 Excuse me, sir. Why would anybody want to steal a screw? 208 00:17:23,178 --> 00:17:24,803 Watch it, young lady. 209 00:17:35,482 --> 00:17:37,524 The door's way too heavy, sir. 210 00:17:44,365 --> 00:17:48,118 Damn it! Chair's - Son of a bitch! 211 00:17:52,457 --> 00:17:55,209 Andrew Clark, get up here. 212 00:17:55,293 --> 00:17:58,170 Front and center. Let's go. 213 00:17:59,297 --> 00:18:01,965 - Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up? - That's right. 214 00:18:02,050 --> 00:18:05,385 If he gets up, we'll all get up. It'll be anarchy! 215 00:18:06,888 --> 00:18:10,349 - Okay, watch - watch the magazines. - It's out of my hands. 216 00:18:14,229 --> 00:18:16,855 That's very clever, sir. 217 00:18:16,940 --> 00:18:19,608 But what if there's a fire? 218 00:18:19,692 --> 00:18:23,320 I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children 219 00:18:23,404 --> 00:18:26,323 would be unwise at this juncture in your career, sir. 220 00:18:26,407 --> 00:18:30,035 All right, what are you doing with this? Get this out of here, for God's sake. 221 00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:31,578 What's the matter with you? Come on. 222 00:18:31,663 --> 00:18:34,581 The school comes equipped with fire exits at either end of the library. 223 00:18:34,666 --> 00:18:36,750 Show Dick some respect. 224 00:18:36,835 --> 00:18:38,210 Let's go. 225 00:18:39,129 --> 00:18:41,505 Go. Get back in your seat. 226 00:18:44,008 --> 00:18:47,761 I expected a little more from a varsity Letterman. 227 00:18:49,430 --> 00:18:51,014 You're not fooling anybody, Bender. 228 00:18:52,517 --> 00:18:54,852 The next screw that falls out is gonna be you. 229 00:18:56,354 --> 00:18:57,604 Eat my shorts. 230 00:18:57,689 --> 00:18:59,022 What was that? 231 00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:02,526 Eat... 232 00:19:02,610 --> 00:19:03,527 my... 233 00:19:03,611 --> 00:19:04,611 shorts. 234 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,532 - You just bought yourself another Saturday. - Oh, I'm crushed. 235 00:19:08,616 --> 00:19:11,410 - You just bought one more right there. - Well, I'm free the Saturday after that. 236 00:19:11,494 --> 00:19:13,537 Beyond that, I'm gonna have to check my calendar. 237 00:19:13,621 --> 00:19:15,664 Good, because it's gonna be filled. 238 00:19:15,748 --> 00:19:18,375 We'll keep going. You want another one? 239 00:19:19,586 --> 00:19:22,129 Just say the word. Instead of going to prison, you'll come here. 240 00:19:24,883 --> 00:19:26,633 - Are you through? - No. 241 00:19:26,718 --> 00:19:28,635 - I'm doing society a favor. - So? 242 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,012 That's another right now. 243 00:19:30,096 --> 00:19:33,640 I've got you for the rest of your natural-born life, if you don't watch your step. 244 00:19:33,725 --> 00:19:35,642 - You want another one? - Yes. 245 00:19:35,727 --> 00:19:38,937 You got it! You got another one right there! That's another one, pal! 246 00:19:39,022 --> 00:19:41,064 Cut it out! 247 00:19:42,567 --> 00:19:43,650 You through? 248 00:19:43,735 --> 00:19:45,736 Not even close, bud. 249 00:19:45,820 --> 00:19:47,738 Good. You got one more right there. 250 00:19:47,822 --> 00:19:50,574 - You really think I give a shit? - Another. 251 00:19:52,869 --> 00:19:55,913 - You through? - How many is that? 252 00:19:55,997 --> 00:19:58,790 Seven, including one when we first came in when you asked Mr. Vernon here 253 00:19:58,875 --> 00:20:00,918 whether Barry Manilow knew that he raided his closet. 254 00:20:01,002 --> 00:20:03,503 - Now it's eight. You stay out of it. - Excuse me, sir. It's seven. 255 00:20:03,588 --> 00:20:05,422 Shut up, pee-wee. 256 00:20:09,344 --> 00:20:12,596 You're mine, Bender. For two months, I gotcha. 257 00:20:13,723 --> 00:20:15,349 I gotcha. 258 00:20:16,517 --> 00:20:19,144 What can I say? I'm thrilled. 259 00:20:19,229 --> 00:20:22,147 Oh, I'm sure that's exactly what you want these people to believe. 260 00:20:22,232 --> 00:20:23,482 You know something, Bender? 261 00:20:23,566 --> 00:20:26,526 You ought to spend a little more time trying to do something with yourself 262 00:20:26,611 --> 00:20:29,363 and a little less time trying to impress people. 263 00:20:29,447 --> 00:20:31,156 You might be better off. 264 00:20:31,908 --> 00:20:35,452 All right, that's it! I'm gonna be right outside those doors. 265 00:20:36,454 --> 00:20:40,123 The next time I have to come in here, I'm cracking skulls. 266 00:20:52,387 --> 00:20:54,429 Fuck you! 267 00:21:04,315 --> 00:21:05,440 Fuck. 268 00:22:48,002 --> 00:22:49,544 Wake up! 269 00:22:52,757 --> 00:22:54,257 Who has to go to the lavatory? 270 00:23:13,194 --> 00:23:14,986 That's real intelligent. 271 00:23:15,071 --> 00:23:16,988 You're right. 272 00:23:17,073 --> 00:23:18,990 It's wrong to destroy literature. 273 00:23:20,243 --> 00:23:21,910 It's such fun to read. 274 00:23:23,579 --> 00:23:24,746 And... 275 00:23:26,916 --> 00:23:29,793 "Molay" really pumps my nads. 276 00:23:29,877 --> 00:23:30,877 Molière. 277 00:23:33,965 --> 00:23:36,007 I love his work. 278 00:23:45,309 --> 00:23:49,146 Big deal. Nothing to do when you're locked in a vacancy. 279 00:23:49,689 --> 00:23:51,189 Aw, speak for yourself. 280 00:23:51,274 --> 00:23:53,275 Do you think I'd speak for you? 281 00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:55,444 I don't even know your language. 282 00:23:58,072 --> 00:24:00,740 Hey. You grounded tonight? 283 00:24:02,034 --> 00:24:05,287 I don't know. My mom said I was, but my dad told me just to blow her off. 284 00:24:10,334 --> 00:24:12,169 There's a big party at Stubby's. 285 00:24:12,253 --> 00:24:14,796 Parents are in Europe. Should be pretty wild. 286 00:24:14,881 --> 00:24:16,923 - Yeah? - Yeah. You gonna go? 287 00:24:18,634 --> 00:24:20,760 - I doubt it. - How come? 288 00:24:20,845 --> 00:24:25,056 'Cause if I do what my mother tells me not to do, it's because my father says it's okay. 289 00:24:25,141 --> 00:24:28,560 It's this whole big monster deal. It's endless. It's a total drag. 290 00:24:28,644 --> 00:24:30,979 It's, like, any minute, divorce. 291 00:24:31,063 --> 00:24:33,773 - Who do you like better? - What? 292 00:24:33,858 --> 00:24:35,817 You like your old man better than your mom? 293 00:24:35,902 --> 00:24:39,529 - They're both screwed. - No, I mean if you had to choose between 'em. 294 00:24:41,908 --> 00:24:43,783 I don't know. 295 00:24:43,868 --> 00:24:45,994 Probably go live with my brother. 296 00:24:48,289 --> 00:24:50,582 I mean, I don't think either one of them gives a shit about me. 297 00:24:50,666 --> 00:24:52,626 They use me just to get back at each other. 298 00:25:02,929 --> 00:25:04,387 Shut up! 299 00:25:04,472 --> 00:25:06,556 You're just feeling sorry for yourself. 300 00:25:06,641 --> 00:25:09,017 Yeah, well, if I didn't, nobody else would. 301 00:25:09,101 --> 00:25:10,393 Oh, you're breaking my heart. 302 00:25:10,478 --> 00:25:11,645 - Sporto. - What? 303 00:25:14,857 --> 00:25:16,650 You get along with your parents? 304 00:25:16,734 --> 00:25:19,319 Well, if I say yes, I'm an idiot, right? 305 00:25:21,614 --> 00:25:23,657 You're an idiot anyway. 306 00:25:23,741 --> 00:25:27,577 But if you say you get along with your parents, well, you're a liar too. 307 00:25:35,962 --> 00:25:40,465 You know something, man? If we weren't in school right now, I'd waste you. 308 00:25:40,550 --> 00:25:41,758 Can you hear this? 309 00:25:42,969 --> 00:25:44,970 You want me to turn it up? 310 00:25:46,639 --> 00:25:48,098 Hey, fellas, I mean - 311 00:25:49,350 --> 00:25:52,769 I- I don't like my parents either. I mean, I don't - 312 00:25:52,853 --> 00:25:54,980 I don't - I don't get along with them. 313 00:25:55,064 --> 00:25:59,109 I mean, their idea of parental compassion is just, you know... 314 00:26:00,278 --> 00:26:02,028 wacko, you know. 315 00:26:02,113 --> 00:26:04,155 - Dork. - Yeah? 316 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,492 You are a parent's wet dream, okay? 317 00:26:09,704 --> 00:26:11,454 Well, that's the problem. 318 00:26:11,539 --> 00:26:13,540 Look, I could see you getting all bunged up 319 00:26:13,624 --> 00:26:15,834 for them making you wear these kind of clothes, 320 00:26:15,918 --> 00:26:19,546 but face it - you're a neo-maxi-zum-dweeby. 321 00:26:19,630 --> 00:26:22,716 What would you be doing if you weren't out making yourself a better citizen? 322 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,801 Why do you have to insult everybody? 323 00:26:26,012 --> 00:26:28,597 I'm being honest, asshole. 324 00:26:28,681 --> 00:26:31,766 I would expect you to know the difference. 325 00:26:31,851 --> 00:26:33,643 - Yeah, well, he's got a name. - Yeah? 326 00:26:33,728 --> 00:26:36,062 Yeah. What's your name? 327 00:26:36,147 --> 00:26:38,398 - Brian. - See? 328 00:26:38,482 --> 00:26:40,025 My condolences. 329 00:26:43,029 --> 00:26:44,529 What's your name? 330 00:26:47,825 --> 00:26:49,451 What's yours? 331 00:26:50,620 --> 00:26:52,621 - Claire. - Claire? 332 00:26:52,705 --> 00:26:54,706 Claire. It's a family name. 333 00:26:54,790 --> 00:26:56,583 No, it's a fat girl's name. 334 00:26:56,667 --> 00:26:58,001 - Oh. Thank you. - You're welcome. 335 00:26:58,085 --> 00:26:59,669 - I'm not fat. - Well, not at present. 336 00:26:59,754 --> 00:27:02,047 But I could see you really pushing maximum density. 337 00:27:02,882 --> 00:27:07,510 You see, I'm not sure if you know this, but there are two kinds of fat people - 338 00:27:07,595 --> 00:27:10,180 there's fat people that were born to be fat, 339 00:27:10,264 --> 00:27:13,600 and there's fat people that were once thin but they became fat. 340 00:27:13,684 --> 00:27:17,771 So when you look at 'em you can sorta see that thin person inside. 341 00:27:17,855 --> 00:27:21,566 You see, you're gonna get married, you're gonna squeeze out a few puppies, 342 00:27:21,651 --> 00:27:22,859 and then... 343 00:27:27,531 --> 00:27:31,034 Obscene finger gestures from such a pristine girl. 344 00:27:31,827 --> 00:27:33,536 I'm not that pristine. 345 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,250 Are you a virgin? 346 00:27:42,004 --> 00:27:46,383 I'll bet you a million dollars that you are. 347 00:27:48,052 --> 00:27:49,719 Let's end the suspense. 348 00:27:51,013 --> 00:27:53,765 Is it gonna be a... ♪ White wedding? ♪ 349 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:57,977 - Why don't you just shut up? - Have you kissed a boy on the mouth? 350 00:28:00,940 --> 00:28:03,108 Have you ever been felt up... 351 00:28:03,859 --> 00:28:07,153 over the bra, under the blouse, 352 00:28:08,072 --> 00:28:11,741 your shoes off, hoping to God your parents don't walk in? 353 00:28:14,870 --> 00:28:16,246 Do you want me to puke? 354 00:28:18,999 --> 00:28:20,750 Over the panties... 355 00:28:22,670 --> 00:28:23,753 no bra... 356 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:27,424 blouse unbuttoned... 357 00:28:28,676 --> 00:28:33,179 Calvins in a ball on the front seat, past 11:00 on a school night? 358 00:28:34,557 --> 00:28:35,807 Leave her alone. 359 00:28:46,610 --> 00:28:48,570 I said leave her alone. 360 00:28:51,323 --> 00:28:53,992 You gonna make me? 361 00:28:54,076 --> 00:28:55,702 Yeah. 362 00:29:02,793 --> 00:29:05,670 You and how many of your friends? 363 00:29:05,755 --> 00:29:07,839 Just me. 364 00:29:07,923 --> 00:29:11,217 Just you and me. Two hits. 365 00:29:11,302 --> 00:29:14,763 Me hitting you, you hitting the floor. Anytime you're ready, pal. 366 00:29:23,105 --> 00:29:25,690 I don't want to get into this with you, man. 367 00:29:27,485 --> 00:29:28,693 Why not? 368 00:29:29,737 --> 00:29:31,237 'Cause I'd kill you. 369 00:29:34,867 --> 00:29:37,285 It's real simple. 370 00:29:37,369 --> 00:29:40,246 I'd kill you, and your fucking parents would sue me. 371 00:29:40,331 --> 00:29:44,209 And it'd be a big mess, and I don't care enough about you to bother. 372 00:29:45,961 --> 00:29:47,337 Chickenshit. 373 00:29:58,766 --> 00:30:01,684 Let's end this right now. 374 00:30:01,769 --> 00:30:05,688 You don't talk to her. You don't look at her. 375 00:30:05,773 --> 00:30:08,024 And you don't even think about her! You understand me? 376 00:30:09,985 --> 00:30:11,402 I'm trying to help her. 377 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:36,761 Brian, how you doing? 378 00:30:37,721 --> 00:30:39,347 Your dad work here? 379 00:30:45,312 --> 00:30:46,896 - Carl? - What? 380 00:30:46,981 --> 00:30:49,649 - Can I ask you a question? - Sure. 381 00:30:50,568 --> 00:30:53,736 - How does one become a janitor? - You want to be a janitor? 382 00:30:53,821 --> 00:30:56,656 No, I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor. 383 00:30:56,740 --> 00:31:01,661 Because Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts. 384 00:31:01,745 --> 00:31:03,079 Oh, really? 385 00:31:05,833 --> 00:31:10,378 You guys think I'm just some untouchable peasant, serf, peon, yeah? 386 00:31:10,462 --> 00:31:11,838 Maybe so. 387 00:31:11,922 --> 00:31:15,049 But following a broom around after shitheads like you for the last eight years, 388 00:31:15,134 --> 00:31:16,593 I've learned a couple of things. 389 00:31:16,677 --> 00:31:20,305 I look through your letters, look through your lockers. 390 00:31:21,682 --> 00:31:25,310 I listen to your conversations. You don't know that, but I do. 391 00:31:25,394 --> 00:31:29,230 I am the eyes and ears of this institution, my friends. 392 00:31:32,902 --> 00:31:35,194 By the way, that clock's 20 minutes fast. 393 00:31:37,239 --> 00:31:39,365 Shit. 394 00:32:24,912 --> 00:32:27,288 All right, girls, that's 30 minutes for lunch. 395 00:32:27,373 --> 00:32:29,582 - Here? - Here. 396 00:32:29,667 --> 00:32:33,378 I think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place for us to eat lunch in, sir. 397 00:32:33,462 --> 00:32:36,673 Well, I don't care what you think, Andrew. 398 00:32:36,757 --> 00:32:37,840 Dick? 399 00:32:37,925 --> 00:32:40,051 Excuse me. Rich. 400 00:32:40,135 --> 00:32:43,346 - Will milk be made available to us? - We're extremely thirsty, sir. 401 00:32:43,430 --> 00:32:46,224 I have really low tolerance for dehydration. 402 00:32:46,308 --> 00:32:49,060 I've seen her dehydrate, sir. It's pretty gross. 403 00:32:49,853 --> 00:32:51,229 Relax. I'll get it. 404 00:32:53,148 --> 00:32:54,941 Grab some wood there, bub. 405 00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:58,945 What, do you think I was born yesterday? 406 00:32:59,655 --> 00:33:03,366 You think I'm gonna have you roaming these halls? 407 00:33:03,450 --> 00:33:04,742 You. 408 00:33:10,874 --> 00:33:12,333 And you. 409 00:33:13,419 --> 00:33:14,585 Hey! 410 00:33:15,504 --> 00:33:17,213 What's her name? Wake her - Wake her up. 411 00:33:17,297 --> 00:33:20,091 Hey! Come on! On your feet, missy. Let's go. 412 00:33:20,175 --> 00:33:22,343 This is no rest home. 413 00:33:23,220 --> 00:33:27,432 There's a soft drink machine in the teachers' lounge. Let's go. 414 00:33:32,521 --> 00:33:35,356 So... what's your poison? 415 00:33:38,277 --> 00:33:40,069 What do you drink? 416 00:33:42,197 --> 00:33:44,032 Okay. Forget I asked. 417 00:33:46,702 --> 00:33:48,119 Vodka. 418 00:33:49,997 --> 00:33:51,789 Vodka? 419 00:33:51,874 --> 00:33:53,666 When do you drink vodka? 420 00:33:53,751 --> 00:33:55,084 Whenever. 421 00:33:56,670 --> 00:33:59,130 - A lot? - Tons. 422 00:34:00,007 --> 00:34:02,008 Is that why you're here today? 423 00:34:02,968 --> 00:34:05,053 - Why are you here? - Why are you here? 424 00:34:13,062 --> 00:34:15,480 I'm here today because... 425 00:34:16,815 --> 00:34:20,276 because my coach and my father don't want me to blow my ride. 426 00:34:21,653 --> 00:34:25,656 See, I get treated differently because, Coach thinks I'm a winner. 427 00:34:25,741 --> 00:34:27,200 So does my old man. 428 00:34:27,868 --> 00:34:29,827 I'm not a winner because I want to be one. 429 00:34:30,412 --> 00:34:34,373 I'm a winner because I've got strength and speed, kinda like a racehorse. 430 00:34:35,709 --> 00:34:38,544 That's about how involved I am in what's happening to me. 431 00:34:38,629 --> 00:34:39,670 Yeah? 432 00:34:41,090 --> 00:34:43,716 That's very interesting. 433 00:34:46,804 --> 00:34:49,931 Now why don't you tell me why you're really in here? 434 00:34:50,891 --> 00:34:52,266 Forget it. 435 00:34:58,941 --> 00:35:02,693 Claire, you want to see a picture of a guy with elephantiasis of the nuts? 436 00:35:03,445 --> 00:35:05,404 - It's pretty tasty. - No, thank you. 437 00:35:05,489 --> 00:35:07,865 How do you think he rides a bike? 438 00:35:10,953 --> 00:35:12,370 Oh, Claire? 439 00:35:12,454 --> 00:35:14,664 Would you ever consider dating a guy like this? 440 00:35:14,748 --> 00:35:16,374 Can't you just leave me alone? 441 00:35:16,458 --> 00:35:20,628 I mean, if he had a great personality, was a good dancer and had a cool car? 442 00:35:20,712 --> 00:35:22,630 Although you'd probably have to ride in the back seat, 443 00:35:22,714 --> 00:35:25,007 because his nuts would ride shotgun. 444 00:35:27,344 --> 00:35:30,054 - You know what I wish I was doing? - Ah. Watch what you say. 445 00:35:30,139 --> 00:35:32,515 - Brian here is a cherry. - A cherry? 446 00:35:32,599 --> 00:35:36,394 I wish I was on a plane to France. 447 00:35:36,478 --> 00:35:39,272 - I'm not a cherry. - When have you ever gotten laid? 448 00:35:39,356 --> 00:35:41,190 I've laid lots of times. 449 00:35:41,275 --> 00:35:42,817 Name one. 450 00:35:43,819 --> 00:35:47,280 She lives in Canada. Met her at Niagara Falls. 451 00:35:47,364 --> 00:35:50,366 - You wouldn't know her. - Ever laid anyone around here? 452 00:35:52,661 --> 00:35:55,788 Oh. You and Claire did it? 453 00:35:55,873 --> 00:35:59,584 - What are you talking about? - Nothing. Nothing. 454 00:35:59,668 --> 00:36:02,795 - Let's just drop it. We'll talk about it later. - Drop what? What are you talking about? 455 00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:07,300 Brian's trying to tell me that in addition to the number of girls in the Niagara Falls area, 456 00:36:07,384 --> 00:36:10,094 that presently you and he are riding the hobby horse. 457 00:36:10,179 --> 00:36:12,138 Little pig. 458 00:36:12,222 --> 00:36:13,681 No, I'm not. 459 00:36:13,765 --> 00:36:16,976 John said I was a cherry and I said I wasn't. That's all that was said. 460 00:36:17,060 --> 00:36:19,896 Well, then what were you motioning to Claire for? 461 00:36:19,980 --> 00:36:21,731 I don't appreciate this very much, Brian. 462 00:36:21,815 --> 00:36:25,193 - He is lying. - Oh, you weren't motioning to Claire? 463 00:36:27,237 --> 00:36:30,489 - You know he's lying, right? - Were you or were you not motioning to Claire? 464 00:36:31,617 --> 00:36:33,242 Yeah, but it was only - 465 00:36:34,620 --> 00:36:37,496 it was only because I didn't want her to know I was a virgin, okay? 466 00:36:38,749 --> 00:36:41,876 Excuse me for being a virgin. I'm sorry. 467 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:44,212 Why didn't you want me to know you were a virgin? 468 00:36:44,296 --> 00:36:47,215 Because it's personal business. It's my personal, private business. 469 00:36:47,299 --> 00:36:50,551 Well, Brian, it doesn't sound like you're doing any business. 470 00:36:50,636 --> 00:36:53,679 I think it's okay for a guy to be a virgin. 471 00:36:53,764 --> 00:36:54,931 You do? 472 00:37:06,985 --> 00:37:08,986 - What's in there? - Guess. 473 00:37:10,072 --> 00:37:12,114 Where's your lunch? 474 00:37:12,199 --> 00:37:13,532 You're wearing it. 475 00:37:14,368 --> 00:37:15,660 You're nauseating. 476 00:37:30,717 --> 00:37:33,344 - What's that? - Sushi. 477 00:37:35,138 --> 00:37:37,723 Sushi? 478 00:37:37,808 --> 00:37:40,393 Rice, raw fish, and seaweed. 479 00:37:43,814 --> 00:37:47,149 You won't accept a guy's tongue in your mouth, and you're gonna eat that? 480 00:37:47,234 --> 00:37:49,443 Can I eat? 481 00:37:49,528 --> 00:37:51,654 I don't know. Give it a try. 482 00:38:28,483 --> 00:38:30,067 What's your problem? 483 00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:31,837 What are we having? 484 00:39:31,922 --> 00:39:34,924 It's just your standard regular lunch, I guess. 485 00:39:37,594 --> 00:39:39,428 - Milk? - Soup. 486 00:39:44,518 --> 00:39:46,685 - That's apple juice. - I can read. 487 00:39:48,021 --> 00:39:51,273 PB & J with the crusts cut off. 488 00:39:51,358 --> 00:39:54,902 Well, Brian, this is a very nutritious lunch. 489 00:39:54,986 --> 00:39:57,321 All the food groups are represented. 490 00:39:58,365 --> 00:40:01,242 Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers? 491 00:40:01,326 --> 00:40:03,536 No, Mr. Johnson. 492 00:40:05,414 --> 00:40:10,543 Here's my impression of life at big Bri's house. 493 00:40:15,590 --> 00:40:17,174 "Son?" 494 00:40:17,259 --> 00:40:18,717 "Yeah, Dad?" 495 00:40:18,802 --> 00:40:21,137 "How's your day, pal?" 496 00:40:21,221 --> 00:40:24,348 "Great, Dad. How's yours?" 497 00:40:24,433 --> 00:40:26,100 "Super. 498 00:40:26,184 --> 00:40:31,355 Say, Son, how'd you like to go fishing this weekend?" 499 00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:33,566 "Great, Dad! 500 00:40:33,650 --> 00:40:36,569 But I've got homework to do." 501 00:40:36,653 --> 00:40:40,781 "That's all right, Son. You can do it on the boat." 502 00:40:41,450 --> 00:40:43,075 "Gee!" 503 00:40:44,536 --> 00:40:47,955 "Dear, isn't our son swell?" 504 00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:52,793 "Yes, dear. Isn't life swell?" 505 00:41:07,058 --> 00:41:09,101 All right. What about your family? 506 00:41:09,186 --> 00:41:10,978 - Who, mine? - Yeah. 507 00:41:11,062 --> 00:41:12,521 It's real easy. 508 00:41:21,490 --> 00:41:24,783 "Stupid, worthless, 509 00:41:24,868 --> 00:41:29,163 no-good goddamn freeloading son of a bitch, 510 00:41:29,247 --> 00:41:31,499 retarded, big mouth, know-it-all, 511 00:41:31,583 --> 00:41:33,584 asshole jerk." 512 00:41:35,420 --> 00:41:39,632 "You forgot ugly, lazy, and disrespectful." 513 00:41:39,716 --> 00:41:43,052 "Shut up, bitch! Go fix me a turkey pot pie." 514 00:41:44,429 --> 00:41:46,180 "What about you, Dad?" 515 00:41:46,264 --> 00:41:48,015 "Fuck you." 516 00:41:48,099 --> 00:41:50,976 - "No, Dad. What about you?" - "Fuck you!" 517 00:41:51,061 --> 00:41:53,479 "No, Dad, what about you?" 518 00:41:53,563 --> 00:41:54,813 "Fuck you!" 519 00:41:54,898 --> 00:41:56,273 Bam! 520 00:41:59,819 --> 00:42:02,279 - Is that for real? - You wanna come over sometime? 521 00:42:02,364 --> 00:42:05,991 That's bullshit. It's all part of your image. I don't believe a word of it. 522 00:42:06,076 --> 00:42:07,993 You don't believe me? 523 00:42:08,078 --> 00:42:09,370 - No. - No? 524 00:42:09,454 --> 00:42:10,496 Did I stutter? 525 00:42:19,047 --> 00:42:21,131 Do you believe this? 526 00:42:24,052 --> 00:42:25,636 It's about the size of a cigar. 527 00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:27,930 Do I stutter? 528 00:42:28,014 --> 00:42:32,643 See, this is what you get in my house when you spill paint in the garage. 529 00:42:34,938 --> 00:42:39,775 See, I don't think that I need to sit with you fuckin' dildos anymore. 530 00:42:49,369 --> 00:42:50,494 Fuck! 531 00:43:11,224 --> 00:43:13,976 - You shouldn't have said that. - How did I know? 532 00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:17,521 He lies about everything anyway. 533 00:43:36,541 --> 00:43:38,751 Oh, shit. 534 00:43:38,835 --> 00:43:40,377 Coffee. 535 00:43:40,462 --> 00:43:43,797 Looks like they scrape it off the bottom of the Mississippi River. 536 00:43:45,550 --> 00:43:47,551 Everything's polluted. Everything's polluted. 537 00:43:47,636 --> 00:43:49,970 The coffee. The kids are polluted. 538 00:44:03,276 --> 00:44:05,736 - How do you know where Vernon went? - I don't. 539 00:44:06,738 --> 00:44:09,114 Well, then how do you know when he'll be back? 540 00:44:09,199 --> 00:44:10,532 I don't. 541 00:44:12,243 --> 00:44:15,037 Being bad feels pretty good? 542 00:44:17,332 --> 00:44:20,000 - What's the point of going to Bender's locker? - Beats me. 543 00:44:21,378 --> 00:44:23,045 This is so stupid. 544 00:44:23,129 --> 00:44:25,756 Why do you think - Why are we risking getting caught? 545 00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:27,758 I don't know. 546 00:44:27,842 --> 00:44:29,885 So then what are we doing? 547 00:44:29,969 --> 00:44:33,263 You ask me one more question, and I'm beating the shit out of you. 548 00:44:33,348 --> 00:44:34,348 Sorry. 549 00:44:40,271 --> 00:44:43,399 - You're such a slob. - My maid's on vacation. 550 00:44:59,999 --> 00:45:01,875 Drugs. 551 00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,503 - Screw that, Bender. Put it back. - Drugs. 552 00:45:04,587 --> 00:45:06,130 The boy has marijuana. 553 00:45:08,675 --> 00:45:11,009 - That was marijuana. - Shut up, dick. 554 00:45:13,555 --> 00:45:15,264 Do you approve of this? 555 00:45:26,693 --> 00:45:29,611 We'll cross through the lab and then we'll double back. 556 00:45:29,696 --> 00:45:33,198 You better be right. If Vernon cuts us off, it's your fault, asshole. 557 00:45:33,283 --> 00:45:35,617 What did he say? Where are we going? 558 00:46:18,912 --> 00:46:20,913 Wait. Wait, hold it. Hold it. 559 00:46:20,997 --> 00:46:23,540 - We have to go through the cafeteria. - No, the activities hall. 560 00:46:23,625 --> 00:46:26,043 - You don't know what you're talking about. - No, you don't! 561 00:46:26,127 --> 00:46:27,961 We're through listening to you. 562 00:46:28,046 --> 00:46:31,131 We're going this way. You can go where you want, Motorhead. 563 00:46:32,383 --> 00:46:33,634 Come on! 564 00:46:55,698 --> 00:46:57,825 - Shit! - Great idea, jag-off. 565 00:46:57,909 --> 00:47:00,410 - Fuck you. - Fuck you. Why didn't you listen to John? 566 00:47:00,495 --> 00:47:01,829 We're dead. 567 00:47:02,831 --> 00:47:04,623 No. 568 00:47:04,707 --> 00:47:06,416 Just me. 569 00:47:06,501 --> 00:47:08,418 - What do you mean? - Get back to the library. 570 00:47:08,503 --> 00:47:10,379 Keep your unit on. 571 00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:20,013 That son of a bitch. 572 00:47:49,460 --> 00:47:51,879 Three... two... 573 00:47:51,963 --> 00:47:53,505 one! 574 00:47:55,049 --> 00:47:57,843 Bender! Bender! 575 00:47:57,927 --> 00:48:00,053 What is this? What are you doing here? What is this? 576 00:48:00,138 --> 00:48:01,805 Hi. 577 00:48:03,641 --> 00:48:06,810 Out. That's it, Bender. Out. It's over. 578 00:48:06,895 --> 00:48:09,646 - Don't you want to hear my excuse? - Out. 579 00:48:09,731 --> 00:48:12,316 I'm thinking of trying out for a scholarship. 580 00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:14,151 Give me the ball, Bender. 581 00:48:14,235 --> 00:48:15,694 Give me that. 582 00:48:33,838 --> 00:48:36,131 Get your stuff. Let's go. 583 00:48:38,176 --> 00:48:41,678 Mr. Wise Guy here's taken it upon himself to go to the gymnasium. 584 00:48:41,763 --> 00:48:46,099 I'm sorry to inform you, you're going to be without his services for the rest of the day. 585 00:48:46,184 --> 00:48:49,102 B-O-O H-O-O. 586 00:48:49,187 --> 00:48:50,854 Everything's a big joke, Bender? 587 00:48:50,939 --> 00:48:54,983 The false alarm you pulled Friday. False alarms are really funny, aren't they? 588 00:48:55,902 --> 00:48:58,445 What if your home, what if your family - 589 00:48:59,656 --> 00:49:01,365 What if your dope was on fire? 590 00:49:01,449 --> 00:49:05,702 Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear. 591 00:49:06,704 --> 00:49:09,331 Oh, you think he's funny? You think this is cute? 592 00:49:09,415 --> 00:49:11,708 You think he's bitchin'? Is that it? 593 00:49:12,293 --> 00:49:14,544 Let me tell you something. 594 00:49:14,629 --> 00:49:16,546 Look at him. 595 00:49:17,131 --> 00:49:18,674 He's a bum. 596 00:49:18,758 --> 00:49:22,928 You want to see something funny? You go visit John Bender in five years. 597 00:49:23,012 --> 00:49:25,639 You'll see how goddamn funny he is. 598 00:49:32,772 --> 00:49:35,399 What's the matter, John? You gonna cry? 599 00:49:38,736 --> 00:49:41,780 - Let's go. - Hey, keep your fuckin' hands off me! 600 00:49:43,074 --> 00:49:45,409 I expect better manners from you, Dick. 601 00:49:48,162 --> 00:49:49,913 For better hallway vision. 602 00:50:01,759 --> 00:50:02,968 That's the last time, Bender. 603 00:50:03,052 --> 00:50:06,346 That's the last time you ever make me look bad in front of those kids. Do you hear me? 604 00:50:06,431 --> 00:50:09,349 I make $31,000 a year, and I've got a home. 605 00:50:09,434 --> 00:50:11,768 And I'm not about to throw it away on some punk like you. 606 00:50:12,562 --> 00:50:13,937 But someday, man, someday, 607 00:50:14,022 --> 00:50:16,773 when you're out of here and you've forgotten all about this place, 608 00:50:16,858 --> 00:50:18,358 and they've forgotten all about you, 609 00:50:18,443 --> 00:50:21,028 and you're wrapped up in your own pathetic life, 610 00:50:21,112 --> 00:50:23,071 I'm gonna be there. 611 00:50:24,282 --> 00:50:25,991 That's right. 612 00:50:26,075 --> 00:50:27,993 And I'm gonna kick the livin' shit out of you, man. 613 00:50:28,077 --> 00:50:30,746 I'm gonna knock your dick in the dirt. 614 00:50:33,082 --> 00:50:36,752 - You threatening me? - What are you going to do about it? 615 00:50:39,172 --> 00:50:40,922 You think anybody's gonna believe you? 616 00:50:43,259 --> 00:50:46,261 You think anybody is gonna take your word over mine? 617 00:50:47,764 --> 00:50:51,224 I'm a man of respect around here. They love me around here. I'm a swell guy. 618 00:50:51,309 --> 00:50:54,686 You're a lying sack of shit, and everybody knows it. 619 00:50:57,356 --> 00:50:59,775 Oh, you're a tough guy. Hey, hey. Come on. Come on. 620 00:50:59,859 --> 00:51:02,277 Get on your feet, pal! 621 00:51:02,361 --> 00:51:06,073 Let's find out how tough you are. I want to know right now how tough you are. 622 00:51:06,157 --> 00:51:08,658 Come on. I'll give you the first punch. Let's go. 623 00:51:08,743 --> 00:51:11,369 Come on, man. Right here. Just take the first shot. 624 00:51:11,454 --> 00:51:13,747 Please, I'm begging you. Take a shot. Right here. Come on. 625 00:51:14,916 --> 00:51:17,751 Just take one shot. That's all I need. Just one swing. 626 00:51:27,970 --> 00:51:29,930 That's what I thought. 627 00:51:31,766 --> 00:51:34,101 You're a gutless turd. 628 00:52:14,350 --> 00:52:18,603 A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm 629 00:52:18,688 --> 00:52:20,897 and a two-foot salami under the other. 630 00:52:21,524 --> 00:52:24,818 She lays the poodle on the table. 631 00:52:26,070 --> 00:52:29,823 Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." 632 00:52:29,907 --> 00:52:32,075 Naked lady says - 633 00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:34,911 Oh, shit! 634 00:52:36,164 --> 00:52:38,248 Jesus Christ Almighty! 635 00:52:43,963 --> 00:52:46,006 Forgot my pencil. 636 00:52:51,262 --> 00:52:52,762 Goddamn it! 637 00:52:55,683 --> 00:52:57,726 What in God's name is going on in here? 638 00:52:59,770 --> 00:53:02,355 - What was that ruckus? - What ruckus? 639 00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:04,774 I was just in my office, and I heard a ruckus. 640 00:53:04,859 --> 00:53:06,860 Could you describe the ruckus, sir? 641 00:53:06,944 --> 00:53:08,778 Watch your tongue, young man. Watch it. 642 00:53:12,450 --> 00:53:15,076 What is this? 643 00:53:15,161 --> 00:53:18,663 What is that? What-What is that - What is that noise? 644 00:53:18,748 --> 00:53:19,873 What noise? 645 00:53:19,957 --> 00:53:21,958 Really, sir, there wasn't any noise. 646 00:53:32,553 --> 00:53:34,721 That noise? Was that the noise you were talking about? 647 00:53:34,805 --> 00:53:38,016 No, it wasn't. That was not the noise I was talking about. 648 00:53:38,100 --> 00:53:43,355 Now, I may not have caught you in the act this time, but you can bet I will. 649 00:53:45,942 --> 00:53:48,318 You make book on that, missy. 650 00:53:48,402 --> 00:53:50,070 And you! 651 00:53:50,154 --> 00:53:52,239 I will not be made a fool of. 652 00:54:08,714 --> 00:54:12,008 - It was an accident. - You're an asshole. 653 00:54:13,427 --> 00:54:15,053 Sue me. 654 00:54:21,560 --> 00:54:24,104 So, Ahab, can I have all my doobage? 655 00:54:33,364 --> 00:54:35,907 Yo, wastoid. You're not gonna blaze up in here. 656 00:55:06,522 --> 00:55:07,731 I'm not going. 657 00:55:24,874 --> 00:55:26,374 Shit. 658 00:56:22,223 --> 00:56:25,934 Chicks cannot hold "dey" smoke. That's what it is. 659 00:56:29,730 --> 00:56:33,149 Do you know how popular I am? 660 00:56:33,984 --> 00:56:35,693 I am so popular. 661 00:56:35,778 --> 00:56:38,613 Everybody loves me so much at this school. 662 00:56:38,697 --> 00:56:40,323 Poor baby. 663 00:57:57,818 --> 00:57:59,444 No way, man! 664 00:58:02,740 --> 00:58:04,699 Mr. 665 00:58:04,783 --> 00:58:06,868 Oh, Mr. Tierney. 666 00:58:06,952 --> 00:58:10,955 "A history of slight mental illness." 667 00:58:11,040 --> 00:58:13,958 Oh. No wonder he's so fucked up. 668 00:58:14,043 --> 00:58:15,919 Afternoon, Dick. 669 00:58:16,003 --> 00:58:17,795 Hey, Carl. How you doing? 670 00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:19,589 - Good. - Good. What's up? 671 00:58:19,673 --> 00:58:22,967 Not much. What's happening? What are you doing in the basement files? 672 00:58:23,052 --> 00:58:25,470 Oh, nothin'. Nothin' here. I'm just doing a little homework here. 673 00:58:25,554 --> 00:58:27,514 - Homework? - Yeah. 674 00:58:30,059 --> 00:58:32,268 Confidential files? 675 00:58:33,354 --> 00:58:37,106 Look, Carl, this is a highly sensitive area, and I tell you something - 676 00:58:37,191 --> 00:58:39,108 Certain people would be very, very embarrassed. 677 00:58:40,027 --> 00:58:42,487 I would really appreciate it if-if-if this would be something 678 00:58:42,571 --> 00:58:45,365 that you and I could - could keep between us. 679 00:58:46,784 --> 00:58:49,410 - What are you gonna do for me, man? - Wh-What would you like? 680 00:58:49,495 --> 00:58:52,247 - Got 50 bucks? - What? 681 00:58:52,331 --> 00:58:54,207 Fifty bucks. 682 00:58:56,335 --> 00:58:59,837 No, no, no, man. No. You got a middle name? 683 00:58:59,922 --> 00:59:02,507 Yeah. Guess. 684 00:59:02,591 --> 00:59:05,385 Your middle name is Ralph. 685 00:59:05,469 --> 00:59:07,595 As in "puke." 686 00:59:08,597 --> 00:59:12,392 Your birthday is March 12, you're 5'9" and a half, 687 00:59:12,476 --> 00:59:14,686 you weigh 130 pounds, 688 00:59:14,770 --> 00:59:17,146 and your social security number is 689 00:59:17,231 --> 00:59:22,610 049-38-0913. 690 00:59:24,488 --> 00:59:26,739 Wow. Are you psychic? 691 00:59:26,824 --> 00:59:28,324 No. 692 00:59:30,202 --> 00:59:32,996 Would you mind telling me how you know all this about me? 693 00:59:37,126 --> 00:59:39,252 - I stole your wallet. - Give it to me. 694 00:59:39,336 --> 00:59:40,837 - No. - Give it. 695 00:59:43,132 --> 00:59:45,592 - This is great. You're a thief too? - I'm not a thief. 696 00:59:45,676 --> 00:59:47,093 Multi talented. 697 00:59:47,177 --> 00:59:50,179 What's there to steal? Two bucks and a beaver shot. 698 00:59:50,264 --> 00:59:52,265 - A what? - He's got a nudie picture in there. 699 00:59:52,349 --> 00:59:54,892 - I saw it. It's perverted. - All right. Let's see it. 700 01:00:03,527 --> 01:00:06,779 - Are all these your girlfriends? - Some of them. 701 01:00:07,406 --> 01:00:08,948 What about the others? 702 01:00:09,033 --> 01:00:13,661 Well, some I consider my girlfriends, and some I just consider. 703 01:00:13,746 --> 01:00:15,371 Consider what? 704 01:00:15,456 --> 01:00:17,415 Whether or not I want to hang out with them. 705 01:00:18,125 --> 01:00:19,959 You don't believe in just one guy, one girl? 706 01:00:21,754 --> 01:00:24,088 - Do you? - Yeah. 707 01:00:24,173 --> 01:00:26,215 That's the way it should be. 708 01:00:26,300 --> 01:00:28,760 - Well, not for me. - Why not? 709 01:00:30,054 --> 01:00:32,263 How come you've got so much shit in your purse? 710 01:00:32,348 --> 01:00:34,766 - How come you have so many girlfriends? - I asked you first. 711 01:00:36,435 --> 01:00:38,353 I don't know. I guess I never throw anything away. 712 01:00:40,022 --> 01:00:42,273 Neither do I. 713 01:00:43,901 --> 01:00:46,736 This is the worst fake ID I've ever seen. 714 01:00:48,656 --> 01:00:50,907 You realize you made yourself 68? 715 01:00:50,991 --> 01:00:52,992 I know. I know. I goofed it. 716 01:00:53,077 --> 01:00:56,079 - What do you need a fake ID for? - So I can vote. 717 01:00:58,207 --> 01:01:00,708 You want to see what's in my bag? 718 01:01:00,793 --> 01:01:01,834 - No. - No. 719 01:01:17,434 --> 01:01:19,185 Holy shit. 720 01:01:20,312 --> 01:01:21,813 What is all that stuff? 721 01:01:21,897 --> 01:01:24,190 Do you always carry this much shit in your bag? 722 01:01:25,025 --> 01:01:26,818 Yeah. 723 01:01:26,902 --> 01:01:30,238 I always carry this much shit in my bag. 724 01:01:31,615 --> 01:01:34,367 You never know when you may have to jam. 725 01:01:35,285 --> 01:01:37,620 Are you going to be, like, a shopping bag lady? 726 01:01:38,956 --> 01:01:42,458 You know, like, sit in alleyways and, like, talk to buildings 727 01:01:42,543 --> 01:01:44,627 and wear men's shoes and that kind of thing? 728 01:01:44,712 --> 01:01:47,213 I'll do what I have to do. 729 01:01:47,297 --> 01:01:49,799 Why do you have to do anything? 730 01:01:50,801 --> 01:01:55,555 My home life is unsatisfying. 731 01:01:56,598 --> 01:02:00,727 So you're saying you'd subject yourself to the violent dangers of these Chicago streets 732 01:02:00,811 --> 01:02:02,895 because your home life is unsatisfying? 733 01:02:02,980 --> 01:02:05,148 I don't have to run away and live in the street. 734 01:02:05,232 --> 01:02:08,234 I can run away and I can go to the ocean. I can go to the country. 735 01:02:08,318 --> 01:02:10,945 I can go to the mountains. I could go to Israel, Africa. 736 01:02:11,029 --> 01:02:12,530 Afghanistan. 737 01:02:21,790 --> 01:02:23,833 Andy, you want to get in on this? 738 01:02:23,917 --> 01:02:27,128 Allison here says she wants to run away 739 01:02:27,212 --> 01:02:30,631 because her home life is unsatisfying. 740 01:02:32,801 --> 01:02:34,802 Well, everyone's home life is unsatisfying. 741 01:02:36,597 --> 01:02:39,640 If it wasn't, people would live with their parents forever. 742 01:02:39,725 --> 01:02:43,019 Yeah, yeah, I understand, but I think hers goes beyond 743 01:02:43,103 --> 01:02:48,024 what guys like you and me consider normal unsatisfying. 744 01:02:48,108 --> 01:02:50,610 Never mind. Forget it. Everything's cool. 745 01:02:51,528 --> 01:02:53,154 - What's the deal? - No. 746 01:02:54,406 --> 01:02:56,699 There's no deal, sporto. 747 01:02:56,784 --> 01:02:59,410 - Forget it. Leave me alone. - Wait a minute. 748 01:02:59,495 --> 01:03:02,580 Now, you're carrying all that crap around in your purse. 749 01:03:02,664 --> 01:03:06,918 Either you really wanna run away or you want people to think you wanna run away. 750 01:03:07,002 --> 01:03:08,795 Eat shit. 751 01:03:10,714 --> 01:03:14,717 The girl is an island unto herself. Okay? 752 01:03:24,436 --> 01:03:25,436 Hi. 753 01:03:27,231 --> 01:03:29,232 - You want to talk? - No. 754 01:03:29,316 --> 01:03:30,358 Why not? 755 01:03:32,069 --> 01:03:34,403 Go away. 756 01:03:34,488 --> 01:03:37,031 - Where do you want me to go? - Go away! 757 01:03:47,876 --> 01:03:50,670 - You have problems. - Oh, I have problems? 758 01:03:50,754 --> 01:03:52,922 You do everything everybody ever tells you to do. 759 01:03:53,006 --> 01:03:55,299 - That is a problem. - Okay, fine. 760 01:03:55,384 --> 01:03:59,053 But I didn't dump my purse out on the couch and invite people into my problems. 761 01:04:00,722 --> 01:04:02,098 Did I? 762 01:04:06,979 --> 01:04:08,771 So what's wrong? 763 01:04:10,190 --> 01:04:12,024 What is it? 764 01:04:16,864 --> 01:04:18,823 Is it bad? 765 01:04:18,907 --> 01:04:20,950 Real bad? 766 01:04:21,034 --> 01:04:22,535 Parents? 767 01:04:38,302 --> 01:04:40,303 Yeah. 768 01:04:49,813 --> 01:04:51,981 What did they do to you? 769 01:04:54,276 --> 01:04:56,068 They ignore me. 770 01:04:58,238 --> 01:04:59,739 Yeah. 771 01:05:03,160 --> 01:05:04,660 Yeah. 772 01:05:07,831 --> 01:05:10,374 What did you want to be when you were young? 773 01:05:12,085 --> 01:05:15,129 When I was a kid, I wanted to be John Lennon. 774 01:05:16,381 --> 01:05:20,301 Carl, don't be a goof. I'm trying to make a serious point here. 775 01:05:21,386 --> 01:05:24,221 Carl, I've been teaching for 22 years. 776 01:05:26,141 --> 01:05:29,602 And each year, these kids get more and more arrogant. 777 01:05:29,686 --> 01:05:31,979 Aw, bullshit, man. 778 01:05:32,064 --> 01:05:34,941 Come on, Vern. The kids haven't changed. You have. 779 01:05:37,569 --> 01:05:40,446 You took a teaching position because you thought it'd be fun, right? 780 01:05:41,239 --> 01:05:43,699 Thought you could have summer vacations off. 781 01:05:43,784 --> 01:05:47,578 And then you found out it was actually work. That really bummed you out. 782 01:05:50,457 --> 01:05:52,458 These kids turned on me. 783 01:05:55,253 --> 01:05:57,672 They think I'm a big fucking joke. 784 01:05:57,756 --> 01:05:59,632 Come off it. 785 01:05:59,716 --> 01:06:03,344 Listen, Vern, if you were 16, what would you think of you? 786 01:06:03,428 --> 01:06:08,432 Hey, Carl, you think I give one rat's ass what these kids think of me? 787 01:06:08,517 --> 01:06:10,601 Yes, I do. 788 01:06:11,728 --> 01:06:13,521 You think about this. 789 01:06:13,605 --> 01:06:15,356 When you get old, these kids - 790 01:06:15,440 --> 01:06:18,150 When I get old, they're gonna be running the country. 791 01:06:18,235 --> 01:06:20,403 Yeah. 792 01:06:21,363 --> 01:06:25,199 Now, this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night - 793 01:06:25,826 --> 01:06:28,828 That when I get older, these kids are gonna take care of me. 794 01:06:30,163 --> 01:06:31,539 I wouldn't count on it. 795 01:06:36,003 --> 01:06:38,295 What would I do for a million bucks? 796 01:06:39,715 --> 01:06:42,341 I guess I'd do as little as I had to. 797 01:06:42,426 --> 01:06:44,802 - That's boring. - How am I supposed to answer? 798 01:06:45,762 --> 01:06:49,140 The idea is to, like, search your mind for the absolute limit. 799 01:06:49,224 --> 01:06:50,391 Like... 800 01:06:52,436 --> 01:06:54,645 would you drive to school naked? 801 01:06:56,398 --> 01:06:59,692 Would I have to get out of the car? 802 01:07:00,986 --> 01:07:03,779 - Of course. - In the spring or winter? 803 01:07:03,864 --> 01:07:05,823 Doesn't matter. Spring. 804 01:07:05,907 --> 01:07:08,451 In front of the school or in back of the school? 805 01:07:08,535 --> 01:07:11,245 - Either one. - Yes. 806 01:07:11,329 --> 01:07:13,664 I'd do that. 807 01:07:14,374 --> 01:07:17,126 I'll do anything sexual. I don't need a million dollars to do it either. 808 01:07:18,754 --> 01:07:21,589 - You're lying. - I already have. 809 01:07:21,673 --> 01:07:25,051 I've done just about everything there is, except a few things that are illegal. 810 01:07:26,470 --> 01:07:28,304 I'm a nymphomaniac. 811 01:07:29,848 --> 01:07:30,931 Lie. 812 01:07:31,975 --> 01:07:34,101 Are your parents aware of this? 813 01:07:34,186 --> 01:07:35,978 The only person I told was my shrink. 814 01:07:36,772 --> 01:07:40,316 - What did he do when you told him? - He nailed me. 815 01:07:44,404 --> 01:07:46,072 Very nice. 816 01:07:46,156 --> 01:07:48,574 I don't think that, from a legal standpoint, 817 01:07:48,658 --> 01:07:51,452 what he did can be construed as rape since I paid him. 818 01:07:51,536 --> 01:07:53,037 He's an adult. 819 01:07:53,121 --> 01:07:55,623 Yeah. He's married too. 820 01:07:55,707 --> 01:08:00,002 Oh! Do you have any idea how completely gross that is? 821 01:08:00,087 --> 01:08:03,214 - Well, the first few times - - The first few times? 822 01:08:03,298 --> 01:08:05,758 - You mean you did it more than once? - Sure. 823 01:08:05,842 --> 01:08:07,343 Are you crazy? 824 01:08:07,427 --> 01:08:10,554 Obviously she's crazy if she's screwing her shrink. 825 01:08:11,723 --> 01:08:13,724 Have you ever done it? 826 01:08:16,103 --> 01:08:18,229 I don't even have a psychiatrist. 827 01:08:18,313 --> 01:08:20,397 Have you ever done it with a normal person? 828 01:08:21,024 --> 01:08:24,610 - Didn't we already cover this? - You never answered the question. 829 01:08:26,113 --> 01:08:28,948 Look, I'm not gonna discuss my private life with total strangers. 830 01:08:29,032 --> 01:08:32,409 - It's kind of a double-edged sword, isn't it? - A what? 831 01:08:32,494 --> 01:08:35,496 Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude. 832 01:08:36,248 --> 01:08:38,958 If you say you have, you're a slut. 833 01:08:39,042 --> 01:08:40,543 It's a trap. 834 01:08:40,627 --> 01:08:42,336 You want to, but you can't. 835 01:08:42,420 --> 01:08:44,755 And when you do, you wish you didn't, right? 836 01:08:44,840 --> 01:08:48,092 - Wrong. - Or are you a tease? 837 01:08:49,469 --> 01:08:52,680 - She's a tease. - I'm sure. Why don't you just forget it? 838 01:08:52,764 --> 01:08:55,224 Oh, you're a tease and you know it. All girls are teases. 839 01:08:55,308 --> 01:08:57,351 She's only a tease if what she does gets you hot. 840 01:08:57,435 --> 01:08:58,769 I don't do anything! 841 01:08:58,854 --> 01:09:01,647 That's why you're a tease. 842 01:09:01,731 --> 01:09:05,442 - Okay, let me ask you a few questions. - I already told you everything. 843 01:09:05,527 --> 01:09:08,112 No, doesn't it bother you to sleep around without being in love? 844 01:09:08,196 --> 01:09:09,613 Don't you want any respect? 845 01:09:09,698 --> 01:09:13,909 I don't screw to get respect. That's a difference between you and me. 846 01:09:14,578 --> 01:09:17,037 - It's not the only difference, I hope. - Face it. 847 01:09:17,122 --> 01:09:18,956 - You're a tease. - I'm not a tease. 848 01:09:19,040 --> 01:09:22,001 Sure, you are. Sex is your weapon. You said it yourself. 849 01:09:22,085 --> 01:09:23,961 You use it to get respect. 850 01:09:25,172 --> 01:09:27,798 No, I never said that. She twisted my words around. 851 01:09:27,883 --> 01:09:30,968 - What do you use if for then? - I don't use it, period! 852 01:09:31,052 --> 01:09:34,680 Oh, are you medically frigid, or is it psychological? 853 01:09:34,764 --> 01:09:38,058 I didn't mean it that way. You guys are putting words into my mouth! 854 01:09:38,143 --> 01:09:39,935 Well, if you'd just answer the question. 855 01:09:40,020 --> 01:09:42,396 - Why don't you answer the question? - Be honest. No big deal. 856 01:09:42,480 --> 01:09:44,440 - Answer it. - Answer the question, Claire. 857 01:09:44,524 --> 01:09:47,109 - Talk to us. - Come on, answer the question! 858 01:09:47,194 --> 01:09:49,695 It's easy. It's only one question. 859 01:09:49,779 --> 01:09:51,906 No! I never did it! 860 01:09:56,494 --> 01:09:58,329 I never did it either. 861 01:10:01,333 --> 01:10:03,417 I'm not a nymphomaniac. 862 01:10:03,501 --> 01:10:05,044 I'm a compulsive liar. 863 01:10:06,171 --> 01:10:08,672 You are such a bitch! 864 01:10:09,716 --> 01:10:12,009 You did that on purpose, just to fuck me over. 865 01:10:12,093 --> 01:10:14,386 I would do it though. 866 01:10:14,471 --> 01:10:17,348 If you love someone, it's okay. 867 01:10:17,432 --> 01:10:19,516 I can't believe you. You're so weird. 868 01:10:19,601 --> 01:10:22,436 You don't say anything all day, and then when you open your mouth, 869 01:10:22,520 --> 01:10:25,147 you unload all these tremendous lies all over me. 870 01:10:25,232 --> 01:10:28,943 You're just pissed off because she got you to admit something you didn't want to admit to. 871 01:10:29,027 --> 01:10:31,237 Okay, fine, but that doesn't make it any less bizarre. 872 01:10:31,321 --> 01:10:33,155 What's bizarre? 873 01:10:33,240 --> 01:10:35,824 We're all pretty bizarre. 874 01:10:35,909 --> 01:10:38,911 Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all. 875 01:10:38,995 --> 01:10:41,247 How are you bizarre? 876 01:10:42,832 --> 01:10:45,209 He can't think for himself. 877 01:10:46,336 --> 01:10:47,461 She's right. 878 01:10:49,339 --> 01:10:51,423 Do you guys know what I did to get in here? 879 01:10:54,302 --> 01:10:56,679 I taped Larry Lester's buns together. 880 01:10:57,597 --> 01:10:58,722 That was you? 881 01:11:00,100 --> 01:11:02,768 - Yeah. You know him? - Yeah, I know him. 882 01:11:04,145 --> 01:11:07,147 Well, then you know how hairy he is, right? 883 01:11:07,232 --> 01:11:09,984 Well, when they pulled the tape off, 884 01:11:10,068 --> 01:11:13,654 most of his hair came off, and some - some skin too. 885 01:11:13,738 --> 01:11:15,864 Oh, my God. 886 01:11:15,949 --> 01:11:18,867 And the bizarre thing is, 887 01:11:18,952 --> 01:11:21,203 is that I did it for my old man. 888 01:11:22,831 --> 01:11:25,582 I tortured this poor kid 889 01:11:25,667 --> 01:11:28,168 because I wanted him to think that I was cool. 890 01:11:31,006 --> 01:11:34,591 He's always going off about when he was in school... 891 01:11:35,593 --> 01:11:37,886 all the wild things he used to do. 892 01:11:39,180 --> 01:11:42,099 And I got the feeling that he was disappointed 893 01:11:42,183 --> 01:11:44,560 that I never cut loose on anyone, right? 894 01:11:47,397 --> 01:11:50,149 So I'm sitting in the locker room... 895 01:11:51,484 --> 01:11:53,527 and I'm taping up my knee... 896 01:11:55,613 --> 01:11:59,700 and Larry's undressing a couple of lockers down from me. 897 01:12:02,162 --> 01:12:05,289 And... he's kind of - 898 01:12:05,373 --> 01:12:07,958 he's kind of skinny, weak. 899 01:12:09,961 --> 01:12:13,756 And I started thinking about my father 900 01:12:13,840 --> 01:12:16,842 and his attitude about - about weakness. 901 01:12:18,553 --> 01:12:20,554 And the next thing I knew... 902 01:12:22,307 --> 01:12:25,851 I- I jumped on top of him and started whaling on him. 903 01:12:28,438 --> 01:12:31,231 And my friends, they just laughed and cheered me on. 904 01:12:34,944 --> 01:12:36,570 And afterwards... 905 01:12:38,656 --> 01:12:41,241 when I was sitting in Vernon's office... 906 01:12:44,204 --> 01:12:46,413 all I could think about... 907 01:12:47,540 --> 01:12:49,375 was Larry's father... 908 01:12:51,086 --> 01:12:53,170 and Larry having to go home... 909 01:12:55,298 --> 01:12:58,884 and - and explain what happened to him. 910 01:13:02,722 --> 01:13:05,140 And... the humiliation - 911 01:13:07,310 --> 01:13:10,020 the fucking humiliation he must have felt. 912 01:13:13,733 --> 01:13:15,734 It must have been unreal. 913 01:13:18,530 --> 01:13:21,740 I mean, how do you apologize for something like that? 914 01:13:26,121 --> 01:13:27,746 There's no way. 915 01:13:32,377 --> 01:13:34,795 It's all because of me and my old man. 916 01:13:39,134 --> 01:13:40,968 God, I fucking hate him. 917 01:13:43,763 --> 01:13:45,180 He's like this - 918 01:13:45,265 --> 01:13:48,559 He's like this mindless machine that I can't even relate to anymore. 919 01:13:50,311 --> 01:13:52,563 "Andrew, 920 01:13:52,647 --> 01:13:54,857 you've got to be number one! 921 01:13:55,733 --> 01:13:58,360 I won't tolerate any losers in this family. 922 01:13:58,445 --> 01:14:00,529 Your intensity is for shit! 923 01:14:00,613 --> 01:14:02,781 Win! Win! Win!" 924 01:14:04,617 --> 01:14:06,994 You son of a bitch. 925 01:14:09,998 --> 01:14:13,083 You know, sometimes I wish my knee would give. 926 01:14:14,502 --> 01:14:17,463 Then I wouldn't be able to wrestle anymore. 927 01:14:18,214 --> 01:14:20,507 Then he could forget all about me. 928 01:14:21,759 --> 01:14:25,846 I think your old man and my old man should get together and go bowling. 929 01:14:31,478 --> 01:14:34,354 It's like me, you know, with my grades, 930 01:14:34,439 --> 01:14:37,566 like when I - when I - when I step outside myself, kind of, 931 01:14:37,650 --> 01:14:40,527 and, like, when I look in at myself, you know? 932 01:14:43,740 --> 01:14:45,574 And I see me. 933 01:14:49,370 --> 01:14:51,371 I don't like what I see. 934 01:14:52,874 --> 01:14:54,833 I really don't. 935 01:14:54,918 --> 01:14:57,044 What's wrong with you? 936 01:14:57,128 --> 01:14:59,421 Why don't you like yourself? 937 01:15:00,215 --> 01:15:01,924 Sounds stupid, but... 938 01:15:06,095 --> 01:15:07,721 because I'm failing shop. 939 01:15:09,557 --> 01:15:13,393 We had this assignment, you know, to make this, like, ceramic elephant. 940 01:15:14,437 --> 01:15:16,647 And we had eight weeks to do it. 941 01:15:16,731 --> 01:15:20,150 And then, you know, we're supposed to - It was like a lamp. 942 01:15:20,235 --> 01:15:24,238 And, you know, when you pull the trunk, the light was supposed to go on. 943 01:15:26,449 --> 01:15:29,326 You know, but my light didn't go on. 944 01:15:29,410 --> 01:15:31,161 I got an "F" on it. 945 01:15:33,373 --> 01:15:36,124 I've never gotten an "F" in my life. 946 01:15:36,209 --> 01:15:40,837 When I signed up for the course, I mean, I thought I was playing it real smart. 947 01:15:40,922 --> 01:15:42,923 'Cause I thought, "I'll take shop. 948 01:15:43,007 --> 01:15:45,425 It'll be such an easy way to maintain my grade point average." 949 01:15:45,510 --> 01:15:47,427 Why'd you think it'd be easy? 950 01:15:50,223 --> 01:15:52,015 Have you seen some of the dopes that take shop? 951 01:15:52,100 --> 01:15:53,725 I take shop. 952 01:15:54,394 --> 01:15:56,019 You must be a fuckin' idiot. 953 01:15:56,104 --> 01:15:57,896 I'm a fuckin' idiot because I can't make a lamp? 954 01:15:57,981 --> 01:16:00,524 No, you're a genius 'cause you can't make a lamp. 955 01:16:02,235 --> 01:16:05,153 - What do you know about trigonometry? - I could care less about trigonometry. 956 01:16:05,238 --> 01:16:08,115 Bender, did you know, without trigonometry there'd be no engineering? 957 01:16:08,199 --> 01:16:10,033 Without lamps, there'd be no light. 958 01:16:10,118 --> 01:16:13,829 Okay, so neither one of you is any better than the other one. 959 01:16:13,913 --> 01:16:16,290 I can write with my toes. 960 01:16:17,208 --> 01:16:19,751 I can also eat, brush my teeth - 961 01:16:19,836 --> 01:16:22,337 With your feet? 962 01:16:22,422 --> 01:16:25,173 - Play "Heart and Soul" on the piano. - I can make spaghetti. 963 01:16:27,135 --> 01:16:29,052 What can you do? 964 01:16:29,137 --> 01:16:32,472 I can, tape all of your buns together. 965 01:16:32,557 --> 01:16:35,559 I wanna see what Claire can do. 966 01:16:35,643 --> 01:16:38,228 - I can't do anything. - You know, everybody can do something. 967 01:16:40,356 --> 01:16:43,066 There's one thing I can do. 968 01:16:43,151 --> 01:16:46,528 - No, forget it. It's way too embarrassing. - You ever seen Wild Kingdom? 969 01:16:46,613 --> 01:16:49,573 That guy's been doing that show for 30 years. 970 01:16:49,657 --> 01:16:53,994 Okay, but you have to swear to God you won't laugh. 971 01:16:57,665 --> 01:16:59,166 Okay. 972 01:17:01,336 --> 01:17:04,087 I can't believe I'm actually doing this. 973 01:17:19,270 --> 01:17:21,563 All right. That's great. 974 01:17:22,982 --> 01:17:25,609 - Where'd you learn to do that? - Camp, seventh grade. 975 01:17:31,574 --> 01:17:33,450 That was great, Claire. 976 01:17:34,702 --> 01:17:36,953 My image of you is totally blown. 977 01:17:37,038 --> 01:17:39,706 You're a shit. Don't do that to her. 978 01:17:39,791 --> 01:17:42,459 - You swore to God you wouldn't laugh. - Am I laughing? 979 01:17:42,543 --> 01:17:44,044 You fucking prick! 980 01:17:46,881 --> 01:17:49,883 What do you care what I think, anyway? 981 01:17:51,260 --> 01:17:53,887 I don't even count, right? 982 01:17:53,971 --> 01:17:57,391 I could disappear forever, and it wouldn't make any difference. 983 01:17:59,477 --> 01:18:02,270 I may as well not even exist at this school. 984 01:18:02,355 --> 01:18:03,855 Remember? 985 01:18:07,360 --> 01:18:10,987 And you... don't like me anyway. 986 01:18:11,072 --> 01:18:13,281 You know, I have just as many feelings as you do, 987 01:18:13,366 --> 01:18:15,784 and it hurts just as much when somebody steps all over them. 988 01:18:15,868 --> 01:18:17,619 God, you're so pathetic. 989 01:18:17,704 --> 01:18:22,874 Don't you ever, ever compare yourself to me. Okay? 990 01:18:22,959 --> 01:18:26,044 You got everything, and I got shit. 991 01:18:26,129 --> 01:18:28,213 Fucking Rapunzel, right? 992 01:18:28,297 --> 01:18:31,299 School would probably fuckin' shut down if you didn't show up. 993 01:18:31,384 --> 01:18:34,010 Queenie isn't here. 994 01:18:34,095 --> 01:18:36,680 I like those earrings, Claire. 995 01:18:36,764 --> 01:18:39,099 - Shut up. - Are those real diamonds, Claire? 996 01:18:39,183 --> 01:18:41,393 - Shut up. - I bet they are. 997 01:18:42,645 --> 01:18:44,938 Did you work for the money for those earrings? 998 01:18:45,022 --> 01:18:46,940 Shut your mouth. 999 01:18:47,024 --> 01:18:49,693 - Or did Daddy buy those for you? - Shut up! 1000 01:18:49,777 --> 01:18:52,154 I bet he bought those for you. 1001 01:18:52,238 --> 01:18:56,241 I bet those were a Christmas gift, right? 1002 01:18:56,325 --> 01:18:58,160 You know what I got for Christmas this year? 1003 01:18:58,244 --> 01:19:01,079 It was a banner fuckin' year at the old Bender family. 1004 01:19:01,164 --> 01:19:02,956 I got a carton of cigarettes. 1005 01:19:03,040 --> 01:19:06,251 The old man grabbed me, said, "Hey, smoke up, Johnny." 1006 01:19:06,878 --> 01:19:10,088 Okay, so go home and cry to your daddy. Don't cry here, okay? 1007 01:19:22,518 --> 01:19:25,020 My God, are we gonna be like our parents? 1008 01:19:26,147 --> 01:19:27,147 Not me. 1009 01:19:30,610 --> 01:19:31,860 Ever. 1010 01:19:34,071 --> 01:19:35,989 It's unavoidable. 1011 01:19:36,991 --> 01:19:38,617 Just happens. 1012 01:19:40,203 --> 01:19:41,745 What happens? 1013 01:19:43,790 --> 01:19:47,542 When you grow up... your heart dies. 1014 01:19:47,627 --> 01:19:48,919 Who cares? 1015 01:19:50,588 --> 01:19:52,047 I care. 1016 01:19:54,383 --> 01:19:56,676 I was just thinking, I mean... 1017 01:19:58,012 --> 01:20:01,431 I know it's kind of a weird time, but I was just wondering... 1018 01:20:04,519 --> 01:20:08,522 what is gonna happen to us on Monday when we're all together again? 1019 01:20:10,316 --> 01:20:12,818 I mean, I consider you guys my friends. 1020 01:20:14,111 --> 01:20:15,779 I'm not wrong, am I? 1021 01:20:17,281 --> 01:20:18,281 No. 1022 01:20:19,450 --> 01:20:21,910 So on Monday, what happens? 1023 01:20:21,994 --> 01:20:23,829 Are we still friends, you mean? 1024 01:20:25,081 --> 01:20:27,499 - If we're friends now, that is? - Yeah. 1025 01:20:29,126 --> 01:20:32,462 - Do you want the truth? - Yeah, I want the truth. 1026 01:20:34,048 --> 01:20:36,049 I don't think so. 1027 01:20:37,510 --> 01:20:39,302 With all of us or just John? 1028 01:20:40,763 --> 01:20:42,347 With all of you. 1029 01:20:42,431 --> 01:20:46,309 - That's a real nice attitude, Claire. - Oh, be honest, Andy. 1030 01:20:46,394 --> 01:20:49,271 If Brian came walking up to you in the hall on Monday, what would you do? 1031 01:20:50,773 --> 01:20:53,817 I mean, picture this. You're there with all the sports. 1032 01:20:53,901 --> 01:20:55,652 I know exactly what you'd do. 1033 01:20:55,736 --> 01:20:57,904 You'd say hi to him, and when he left, you'd cut him all up 1034 01:20:57,989 --> 01:21:00,323 so your friends wouldn't think that you really liked him. 1035 01:21:00,408 --> 01:21:01,867 No way. 1036 01:21:03,661 --> 01:21:05,787 Okay. What if I came up to you? 1037 01:21:05,872 --> 01:21:07,497 The same exact thing. 1038 01:21:07,582 --> 01:21:10,500 You are a bitch! 1039 01:21:10,585 --> 01:21:13,295 Why? 'Cause I'm telling the truth? That makes me a bitch? 1040 01:21:13,379 --> 01:21:15,964 No. 'Cause you know how shitty that is to do to someone, 1041 01:21:16,048 --> 01:21:18,425 and you don't got the balls to stand up to your friends 1042 01:21:18,509 --> 01:21:20,635 and tell 'em that you're gonna like who you wanna like. 1043 01:21:20,720 --> 01:21:22,971 Okay, what about you, you hypocrite? 1044 01:21:23,055 --> 01:21:26,349 Why don't you take Allison to one of your heavy metal vomit parties? 1045 01:21:26,434 --> 01:21:28,810 Or take Brian out to the parking lot at lunch to get high? 1046 01:21:28,895 --> 01:21:31,271 What about Andy, for that matter? What about me? 1047 01:21:31,355 --> 01:21:34,274 What would your friends say if we were walking down the hall together? 1048 01:21:34,358 --> 01:21:37,652 They'd laugh their asses off, and you'd probably tell them that you were doing it with me 1049 01:21:37,737 --> 01:21:39,321 so they'd forgive you for being seen with me. 1050 01:21:39,405 --> 01:21:41,448 Don't you ever talk about my friends! 1051 01:21:41,532 --> 01:21:44,367 You don't know any of my friends, you don't look at any of my friends, 1052 01:21:44,452 --> 01:21:47,203 and you certainly wouldn't condescend to speak to any of my friends! 1053 01:21:47,288 --> 01:21:49,122 So you just stick to the things that you know - 1054 01:21:49,206 --> 01:21:51,958 shopping, nail polish, your father's BMW 1055 01:21:52,043 --> 01:21:54,544 and your poor, rich, drunk mother in the Caribbean! 1056 01:21:54,629 --> 01:21:55,629 Shut up! 1057 01:21:55,713 --> 01:21:58,882 As far as being concerned about what's gonna happen when you and I walk down the hallways, 1058 01:21:58,966 --> 01:22:01,343 you can forget it 'cause it's never gonna happen! 1059 01:22:01,427 --> 01:22:04,638 Just bury your head in the sand and wait for your fuckin' prom. 1060 01:22:04,722 --> 01:22:06,348 I hate you! 1061 01:22:06,432 --> 01:22:07,766 Yeah? Good! 1062 01:22:14,315 --> 01:22:17,025 Then I assume Allison and I are better people than you guys? 1063 01:22:18,527 --> 01:22:20,654 Us weirdos? 1064 01:22:22,281 --> 01:22:24,824 Would you - Would you do that to me? 1065 01:22:25,743 --> 01:22:27,369 I don't have any friends. 1066 01:22:29,747 --> 01:22:31,414 Well, if you did. 1067 01:22:31,499 --> 01:22:32,999 No. 1068 01:22:35,378 --> 01:22:37,921 I don't think the kind of friends I'd have would mind. 1069 01:22:39,256 --> 01:22:43,510 I just want to tell each of you that I wouldn't do that. 1070 01:22:44,637 --> 01:22:46,638 I wouldn't and I will not. 1071 01:22:49,475 --> 01:22:51,810 'Cause I think that's real shitty. 1072 01:22:53,771 --> 01:22:56,314 Your friends wouldn't mind because they look up to us. 1073 01:23:00,236 --> 01:23:03,238 You're so conceited, Claire. 1074 01:23:03,322 --> 01:23:05,699 You're so conceited. 1075 01:23:05,783 --> 01:23:07,784 You're so, like, full of yourself. Why are you like that? 1076 01:23:07,868 --> 01:23:11,705 I'm not saying that to be conceited. 1077 01:23:11,789 --> 01:23:15,875 I hate it. I hate having to go along with everything my friends say. 1078 01:23:15,960 --> 01:23:18,628 Then why do you do it? 1079 01:23:18,713 --> 01:23:20,338 I don't know. I don't... 1080 01:23:21,924 --> 01:23:23,758 You don't understand. You don't... 1081 01:23:25,177 --> 01:23:29,014 You're not friends with the same kind of people that Andy and I are friends with. 1082 01:23:29,098 --> 01:23:33,810 You know, you just don't understand the pressure that they can put on you. 1083 01:23:33,894 --> 01:23:35,937 I don't understand what? 1084 01:23:36,022 --> 01:23:38,023 You think I don't understand pressure, Claire? 1085 01:23:39,525 --> 01:23:41,401 Well, fuck you! 1086 01:23:41,485 --> 01:23:43,236 Fuck you! 1087 01:23:50,327 --> 01:23:52,370 You know why I'm here today? 1088 01:23:54,749 --> 01:23:56,166 Do you? 1089 01:23:59,712 --> 01:24:02,464 I'm here... because... 1090 01:24:03,299 --> 01:24:06,634 Mr. Ryan found a gun in my locker. 1091 01:24:09,722 --> 01:24:11,389 Why did you have a gun in your locker? 1092 01:24:13,142 --> 01:24:14,642 I tried. 1093 01:24:16,854 --> 01:24:20,065 You pull the fuckin'... trunk on it, 1094 01:24:20,149 --> 01:24:22,442 and the light's supposed to go on. 1095 01:24:23,277 --> 01:24:25,236 It didn't go on. I mean, I... 1096 01:24:27,406 --> 01:24:30,283 - What's the gun for, Brian? - Just forget it. 1097 01:24:30,367 --> 01:24:31,493 You brought it up, man. 1098 01:24:34,705 --> 01:24:36,539 I can't have an "F." 1099 01:24:40,252 --> 01:24:42,253 I can't have it. 1100 01:24:43,339 --> 01:24:45,632 And I know my parents can't have it. 1101 01:24:48,260 --> 01:24:52,180 Even if I ace the rest of the semester, I'm still only a "B." 1102 01:24:52,264 --> 01:24:53,973 Everything's ruined for me. 1103 01:24:54,934 --> 01:24:56,768 Oh, Brian. 1104 01:25:03,275 --> 01:25:05,819 Considering my options, you know? 1105 01:25:05,903 --> 01:25:07,987 No. Killing yourself is not an option. 1106 01:25:08,072 --> 01:25:11,157 Well, I didn't do it, did I? No, I don't think so. 1107 01:25:12,159 --> 01:25:14,369 It was a handgun? 1108 01:25:15,746 --> 01:25:18,414 No, it was a flare gun. Went off in my locker. 1109 01:25:18,499 --> 01:25:22,669 Really? 1110 01:25:22,753 --> 01:25:24,546 It's not funny. 1111 01:25:39,270 --> 01:25:41,354 Yes, it is. 1112 01:25:43,315 --> 01:25:45,942 Fucking elephant was destroyed. 1113 01:25:47,027 --> 01:25:50,655 You want to know what I did to get in here? 1114 01:25:53,033 --> 01:25:54,534 Nothing. 1115 01:25:55,578 --> 01:25:57,954 I didn't have anything better to do. 1116 01:26:03,919 --> 01:26:06,171 You're laughing at me. 1117 01:26:06,255 --> 01:26:08,548 - No. - Yeah, you are. 1118 01:27:54,697 --> 01:27:56,197 Brian? 1119 01:27:57,950 --> 01:28:00,159 Are you gonna write your paper? 1120 01:28:00,244 --> 01:28:02,203 Yeah. Why? 1121 01:28:03,414 --> 01:28:06,833 Well, it's kind of a waste for all of us to write our paper, don't you think? 1122 01:28:07,418 --> 01:28:10,003 Well, that's what Vernon wants us to do. 1123 01:28:10,087 --> 01:28:13,506 True, but I think we'd all kind of say the same thing. 1124 01:28:15,134 --> 01:28:18,261 You just don't want to write your paper, right? 1125 01:28:18,345 --> 01:28:20,221 True, but... 1126 01:28:21,056 --> 01:28:22,682 you're the smartest, right? 1127 01:28:22,766 --> 01:28:24,600 Well... 1128 01:28:24,685 --> 01:28:26,311 We trust you. 1129 01:28:29,273 --> 01:28:30,773 Yeah. 1130 01:28:33,527 --> 01:28:35,028 All right. 1131 01:28:36,196 --> 01:28:37,697 I'll do it. 1132 01:28:38,449 --> 01:28:39,949 Okay. 1133 01:28:53,005 --> 01:28:54,839 Come on. 1134 01:28:54,923 --> 01:28:56,674 Where are we going? 1135 01:28:56,759 --> 01:28:58,676 Come on. 1136 01:28:59,762 --> 01:29:01,596 Don't be afraid. 1137 01:29:03,682 --> 01:29:05,391 Don't stick that in my eye. 1138 01:29:05,476 --> 01:29:09,062 I'm not sticking it. Just close it... No, wait. Just go - Go like that. 1139 01:29:10,773 --> 01:29:11,939 Good. 1140 01:29:15,235 --> 01:29:18,488 You know, you really do look a lot better without all that black shit on your eyes. 1141 01:29:18,572 --> 01:29:21,032 Hey, I like that black shit. 1142 01:29:22,493 --> 01:29:25,078 This looks a lot better. 1143 01:29:25,162 --> 01:29:26,579 Look up. 1144 01:29:35,255 --> 01:29:38,132 Please. Why are you being so nice to me? 1145 01:29:39,343 --> 01:29:40,843 'Cause you're letting me. 1146 01:29:58,654 --> 01:29:59,862 You lost? 1147 01:30:52,624 --> 01:30:54,375 Thank you. 1148 01:31:02,092 --> 01:31:05,761 - Why'd you do that? - 'Cause I knew you wouldn't. 1149 01:31:07,931 --> 01:31:11,976 You know how you said before how your parents use you to get back at each other? 1150 01:31:12,060 --> 01:31:14,479 Wouldn't I be outstanding in that capacity? 1151 01:31:17,566 --> 01:31:21,068 Were you really disgusted about what I did with my lipstick? 1152 01:31:21,153 --> 01:31:23,237 Truth? 1153 01:31:23,322 --> 01:31:25,406 Truth. 1154 01:31:25,491 --> 01:31:26,824 No. 1155 01:31:36,627 --> 01:31:38,127 What happened to you? 1156 01:31:39,963 --> 01:31:41,964 Why? Claire did it. 1157 01:31:47,262 --> 01:31:48,554 What's wrong? 1158 01:31:49,348 --> 01:31:52,141 Nothing's wrong. It's just... 1159 01:31:52,226 --> 01:31:55,353 It's just so different, you know? 1160 01:31:56,355 --> 01:31:58,272 I can see your face. 1161 01:31:58,982 --> 01:32:00,525 Is that good or bad? 1162 01:32:02,236 --> 01:32:04,153 It's good. 1163 01:32:19,086 --> 01:32:21,003 - See you, Brian. - Hey, Carl. 1164 01:32:22,756 --> 01:32:24,757 - See you next Saturday. - You bet. 1165 01:34:10,739 --> 01:34:12,365 Dear Mr. Vernon... 1166 01:34:13,659 --> 01:34:16,494 we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention 1167 01:34:16,578 --> 01:34:18,913 for whatever it was we did wrong. 1168 01:34:18,997 --> 01:34:20,998 But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay 1169 01:34:21,083 --> 01:34:23,250 telling you who we think we are. 1170 01:34:23,335 --> 01:34:25,503 You see us as you want to see us, 1171 01:34:25,587 --> 01:34:29,090 in the simplest terms, with the most convenient definitions. 1172 01:34:29,841 --> 01:34:33,844 But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain - 1173 01:34:33,929 --> 01:34:35,596 And an athlete. 1174 01:34:35,681 --> 01:34:37,598 And a basket case. 1175 01:34:37,683 --> 01:34:38,849 A princess. 1176 01:34:38,934 --> 01:34:40,726 And a criminal. 1177 01:34:40,811 --> 01:34:42,812 Does that answer your question? 1178 01:34:43,855 --> 01:34:47,233 Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.