1 00:00:02,050 --> 00:00:04,890 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 2 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:40,290 Hello! And welcome one and all to this very special Taskmaster treat. 3 00:00:40,310 --> 00:00:42,620 I am Greg Davies, the Taskmaster. 4 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:45,890 I judge who will win, and have a bod made for sin. 5 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,180 Over the next hour, five people that no-one ever predicted 6 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:52,340 would appear on the same show together will try their best to 7 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:54,850 please me in a fraction of the time 8 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,620 it usually takes people to please me. 9 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,290 Can't feel a thing down there. 10 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:03,390 Come the end, we'll either wish we had them for a whole series, 11 00:01:03,410 --> 00:01:06,500 or heave an enormous sigh of blessed relief that they've gone. 12 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,770 But what's the prize for this swift sacrifice of dignity? 13 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:13,700 Why, it's a symbol of hope that the world has been craving. 14 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:15,220 That's right. 15 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:19,890 Tonight's victor will win my mighty golden eyebrows! 16 00:01:21,490 --> 00:01:24,580 So, sit back, relax, shut your mouths, 17 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:28,470 and enjoy the most ludicrous jumble of celebrities you'll ever see 18 00:01:28,490 --> 00:01:30,060 on television this year. 19 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,580 Please welcome John Hannah! 20 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,940 Krishnan Guru-Murthy! 21 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:39,300 Nicola Coughlan! 22 00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,640 Rylan Clark-Neal! 23 00:01:41,670 --> 00:01:44,140 And Shirley Ballas! 24 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:48,550 And now, for a man that is forever generous with facts and figures 25 00:01:48,570 --> 00:01:51,620 as he is uncomfortable talking about sexual intimacy. 26 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:53,140 It's... 27 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:55,100 "little Alex Horne!" 28 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:02,060 Hello, Greg. Hello. Feeling festive and celebratory? 29 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,470 I'm feeling curious, Greg. 30 00:02:04,490 --> 00:02:07,370 Who's going to be struck by the Taskmaster curse? 31 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:12,190 Every year, Greg, someone is struck by the Taskmaster Curse series. 32 00:02:12,210 --> 00:02:13,340 Oh, OK. Every series. 33 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,650 One of them has lost their wallet or purse. 34 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,060 Who's it been in previous years? 35 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,580 It's always dressing room #4, the one next to mine. 36 00:02:22,110 --> 00:02:23,770 Who's been affected by the curse? 37 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,190 I nicked Krishnan's wallet. But I put it... 38 00:02:26,210 --> 00:02:29,830 I took one item, as I always do, as a souvenir. OK. 39 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:32,420 Let's crack on with the show. 40 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,340 These people are professionals, mate. 41 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,770 Shirley's a Strictly judge. Yes. 42 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,190 Well, what's she going to think? 43 00:02:38,210 --> 00:02:40,970 Well, she'll be relieved she wasn't in dressing room #4. 44 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,970 Good, let's crack on with the real show. 45 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:48,220 What's our Prize Task category for this one-off special, Alex? 46 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:51,220 It's the best thing to bring to a party. 47 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,830 There'll be five points for the person that's brought in the best 48 00:02:53,850 --> 00:02:55,060 thing to bring to a party. 49 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,580 And, at the end of the show, the winner will not only take home 50 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:01,940 your eyebrows, but also all the key ingredients for a brilliant bash. 51 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,140 John Hannah! Yes. 52 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,500 Welcome to the show. Thank you very much. 53 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,900 What is the best thing that you would bring to a party? 54 00:03:07,930 --> 00:03:10,220 I was a Christmas party at my sister's a couple of years - 55 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:11,900 not a Christmas party, I popped in. 56 00:03:11,930 --> 00:03:13,700 And she's quite game-y and things. 57 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,270 So, she had one of these, like, Bop It things. 58 00:03:16,290 --> 00:03:17,900 The children's game? Yeah. 59 00:03:17,930 --> 00:03:20,500 Yes, john Hannah has brought in this. 60 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:22,830 Thank you. 61 00:03:22,850 --> 00:03:25,630 John, you're the only film star we've ever had on the show. 62 00:03:25,650 --> 00:03:28,220 Thank you! And I just wasn't expecting a Bop It, 63 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:29,940 I'll be honest with you. 64 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,300 This has ruined my John Hannah story. 65 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,500 Oh... It's like, "Oh, yeah, I've worked with John Hannah recently." 66 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:36,580 "Yeah, he..." 67 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,900 "Yeah, he brought a Bop It with him." 68 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,500 Good. Krishnan, can you beat a Bop It? 69 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,830 Well, I'll tell you the answer yes. 70 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,270 Here it is. Be prepared. 71 00:03:54,290 --> 00:03:56,190 Ooh! 72 00:03:56,210 --> 00:03:59,500 15.99. 73 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,100 Is that how much it cost? 74 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,770 I don't want to be mean, but you do sound like you're lying. 75 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,300 I put it to you, Krishnan, that you've not been in a disco 76 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:11,900 for 34 years. 77 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,850 Yeah. 78 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,270 I tell you what it would do. 79 00:04:21,290 --> 00:04:25,220 It would make your party slightly better than John Hannah's party. 80 00:04:28,290 --> 00:04:29,900 I have to disagree with that. 81 00:04:29,930 --> 00:04:32,820 I mean, it's relaxing to know that we've found our bottom two. 82 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:35,850 Thanks, mate. 83 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:38,170 Nicola, can you save this show? 84 00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:40,140 What have you brought to the party? 85 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,770 OK. 86 00:04:44,650 --> 00:04:47,580 Thank you. Here it is. At last. Lovely. 87 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,460 Someone who's serious about parties. 88 00:05:01,730 --> 00:05:04,650 That's what I normally look like after a bottle of tequila. 89 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:07,460 Rylan. Greg. You're under stiff competition. 90 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:08,940 What do you take to a party? 91 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,630 So, I think we're all of an age where the hangovers last 92 00:05:11,650 --> 00:05:14,380 a little while longer now. Oh, God. 93 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,350 Mine last for exactly four clays - and for three of them, I cry. 94 00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:19,100 LAUGHTER Thank you. Thank you. 95 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,530 And I'm the sort of person, especially like New Year's Eve, 96 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:23,900 if everyone goes up like 3-4 in the morning, 97 00:05:23,930 --> 00:05:26,430 and if I know that floor's dirty, I can't sleep. 98 00:05:26,450 --> 00:05:30,500 Doesn't matter how pissed I am - one-eye Gabrielle, I can't sleep. 99 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:36,020 So, I think if I went to someone's house party, I would bring this. 100 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:37,730 Which is a robot vacuum! 101 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,100 Yes, it is. So, at the end of the night - 102 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,780 pissed, one eye, dreams can come true. 103 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:48,070 Press the button, off you go to bed, you wake up to a clean floor. Yeah. 104 00:05:48,090 --> 00:05:49,650 Hello, Shirley. 105 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:50,940 What will you be bringing? 106 00:06:07,170 --> 00:06:09,180 This is Shirley's trolley... here. 107 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,780 Oh, that's lovely. 108 00:06:10,810 --> 00:06:12,300 I want to win that. 109 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,510 I mean, my God, I can't take my eyes off the woman! 110 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:25,510 I mean, it's just a wondrous, wondrous thing. 111 00:06:25,530 --> 00:06:27,380 And, you know, when you were describing it, 112 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:31,100 and I looked at the beautiful vision that would greet me while you 113 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,430 sauntered around it, I imagine - 114 00:06:33,450 --> 00:06:37,430 not for a second during that whole description did I think, 115 00:06:37,450 --> 00:06:39,730 "But who's going to Hoover up afterwards?" 116 00:06:41,370 --> 00:06:43,220 How do you take it to the party? 117 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,860 Of course she drives a truck! 118 00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:52,730 LAUGHTER She's in a maid outfit! 119 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,350 Of course she's in a maid outfit! 120 00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:56,980 She was already in one in my mind! 121 00:06:58,730 --> 00:07:01,070 Right, then, Greg. Do you want to start with these two, 122 00:07:01,090 --> 00:07:02,900 then your top three? Yeah. OK, I'm sorry, John. 123 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:04,230 The Bop It's in last place. 124 00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:05,630 One point to john Hannah. 125 00:07:05,650 --> 00:07:10,020 Two points to the newsreader with a tiny light in his pocket, obviously. 126 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:12,460 Rylan gets three points purely because he sold it well. 127 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,150 First and second place? Four points because, I mean, 128 00:07:15,170 --> 00:07:17,900 it's weird that she's bought a dead person, but at least there's 129 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,100 tequila with it. 130 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:22,180 And five points - I mean, it goes without saying. 131 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,650 Shirley takes it. Five points to Shirley Ballas! 132 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:31,020 OK, let's properly kick off this very special show. 133 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:32,180 What have we got, Alex? 134 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,780 Well, I'll tell you what we got. 135 00:07:33,810 --> 00:07:34,900 We got dis! 136 00:07:46,730 --> 00:07:47,980 Hi, Alex. 137 00:07:49,610 --> 00:07:50,820 Hello, Rylan. 138 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,950 It's not your leg, Greg. 139 00:07:54,970 --> 00:07:56,020 Ooh. 140 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,070 Do you like what you see? 141 00:08:04,090 --> 00:08:05,180 I do, actually, yeah. 142 00:08:06,530 --> 00:08:08,430 It's up to you, which you want to go for... 143 00:08:13,970 --> 00:08:15,350 Ah... 144 00:08:16,610 --> 00:08:18,430 It's good job I didn't eat the doughnut. 145 00:08:18,450 --> 00:08:20,260 "Get the biggest thing through the doughnut" 146 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:21,780 "without breaking the doughnut." 147 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,340 "You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now." 148 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:34,780 Biggest in what sense? It's a good question. 149 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,860 So, you've essentially come in wearing a costume that is meant 150 00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:46,230 to look like you're riding on my back. 151 00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:48,610 But really, it just looks like my face is on your penis... 152 00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:51,230 as far as I can see. 153 00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:54,510 That is filthy bastard. 154 00:08:54,530 --> 00:08:57,710 And yet, gut instinct tells me that this is going to damage 155 00:08:57,730 --> 00:08:59,230 Krishnan's career more. 156 00:09:00,530 --> 00:09:02,900 Seems so unfair, doesn't it? 157 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,730 I think we should look at what they've done with these doughnuts, 158 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,340 and what they managed to get through them. Simple task, Greg. 159 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:11,390 We'll start with Krishnan Guru-Shirley. 160 00:09:11,410 --> 00:09:15,390 Oh, a very clever play. 161 00:09:15,410 --> 00:09:19,030 So, have you got some sort of, like, tube or pipe 162 00:09:19,050 --> 00:09:23,860 that is probably about half an inch bigger than that? 163 00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:27,730 Are you, now? 164 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,060 Oh, look at you, with your big, long pipe. 165 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,610 Let's have a look. 166 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:40,530 Leave the pipe with me... Yes. ..and you find me a knife. 167 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:47,700 You see... l'm going to attempt to make this hole a bit bigger. 168 00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:58,250 It might be. 169 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,680 I mean, you made the hole bigger. 170 00:10:09,070 --> 00:10:10,610 Ta-da! 171 00:10:10,630 --> 00:10:15,000 That is a very big thing through my hole! 172 00:10:15,020 --> 00:10:18,000 Actually, could've probably got it on a bit bigger pipe. 173 00:10:18,020 --> 00:10:19,760 Do you want me to get you a bigger pipe? 174 00:10:19,790 --> 00:10:21,430 A bit bigger pipe. Should we try it? 175 00:10:28,070 --> 00:10:31,000 You got overoptimistic with that one! 176 00:10:31,020 --> 00:10:33,330 I believe in you, Shirley. 177 00:10:33,350 --> 00:10:37,050 No. Not even if I took it right to the rim would that one work. 178 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,000 Thank you, Krishnan. 179 00:10:51,020 --> 00:10:55,000 It's big, it's long, it's round, it's fat. 180 00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:57,430 And that doughnut is sitting on it. 181 00:10:57,460 --> 00:10:59,720 Uh-huh. Give it a bit of a shimmy. 182 00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:03,050 Shimmy, doughnut, shake it! 183 00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:10,280 I hope this doesn't seem disrespectful, Rylan, 184 00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:13,080 but when I heard you were booked, I was A, delighted, and B, 185 00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:16,630 I suspected you would drag this show into the gutter. 186 00:11:16,660 --> 00:11:19,410 But Shirley Ballas, it would appear, 187 00:11:19,430 --> 00:11:22,330 is the person I should have kept my eye on. 188 00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:25,080 You said, "Ooh, look at you with your big pipe." 189 00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:29,850 "Not even if I took it right to the rim would that one work." 190 00:11:29,870 --> 00:11:31,530 LAUGHTER CONTINUES ls that rude? 191 00:11:31,550 --> 00:11:33,970 And then, correct me if I'm wrong... 192 00:11:33,990 --> 00:11:35,920 you shook your chest at us. 193 00:11:38,270 --> 00:11:42,680 I mean, honest to God, just... thank you for awakening a fire. 194 00:11:42,710 --> 00:11:47,080 Incredible. 195 00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:49,880 So many things I want to talk about with you, Krishnan. 196 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:52,560 The question you asked - "If two things are tied together," 197 00:11:52,590 --> 00:11:54,000 "do they become one thing?" 198 00:11:54,020 --> 00:11:58,760 Which fascinates me, given that you deliver my news every night? 199 00:11:58,790 --> 00:12:01,160 Do you think that if a couple are holding hands, 200 00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:03,080 they are now one creature? 201 00:12:05,430 --> 00:12:07,360 It's a very clever justification. 202 00:12:07,380 --> 00:12:12,050 The thing that slightly detracts is you asking whether the doughnut 203 00:12:12,070 --> 00:12:15,280 was electrified, and it might buzz when you pass things through. 204 00:12:17,740 --> 00:12:21,130 I imagined combining some of your responses on this with your day job, 205 00:12:21,150 --> 00:12:23,430 Krishnan, and I wrote down this. 206 00:12:23,460 --> 00:12:27,880 "Saddam Hussein has been deposed as American forces topple Baghdad." 207 00:12:27,910 --> 00:12:30,290 "And in other news, there's probably a way to get a sofa" 208 00:12:30,310 --> 00:12:32,130 "through a doughnut, isn't there?" 209 00:12:36,510 --> 00:12:38,050 But I am impressed. 210 00:12:38,070 --> 00:12:39,490 I like the man's logic. 211 00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:41,800 Well, if we're counting it as one object, 212 00:12:41,820 --> 00:12:44,210 his was 5,000 cubic centimetres. 213 00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:47,360 Whereas Shirley's pipe - 9,000 cubic centimetre. 214 00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:51,760 So, it is bigger. I mean, that was like, that was gold, wasn't it? 215 00:12:51,790 --> 00:12:55,410 OK, I'm going to show you Rylan and little Greg having a go. 216 00:12:55,430 --> 00:12:56,490 Here we go. 217 00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:59,130 You got right in the bush, Alex. Get in the bush. 218 00:12:59,150 --> 00:13:00,760 A bit furthermare you in? 219 00:13:00,790 --> 00:13:05,430 I'm in. just slide it towards you, like, no, no, that's the... 220 00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:07,720 Yeah, are you all right, Al? 221 00:13:07,740 --> 00:13:09,360 I'm all right, Ry. 222 00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:11,130 OK, come with me. 223 00:13:11,150 --> 00:13:14,080 Come with me... and then, turn it. 224 00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:17,210 That's it. That's perfect. 225 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,680 Has the cow got a name? Not yet. 226 00:13:19,710 --> 00:13:22,010 How about Linda? That's my mum's name. 227 00:13:22,030 --> 00:13:23,800 Oh. So, she'll like that. 228 00:13:23,820 --> 00:13:26,080 Will she? No. 229 00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:28,010 Yeah, OK. Let's do it. 230 00:13:28,030 --> 00:13:31,800 Right, Alex, you ready to see the biggest thing you'll see 231 00:13:31,830 --> 00:13:33,560 come through my doughnut? 232 00:13:39,190 --> 00:13:40,960 Ooh! Where is it? 233 00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:44,960 Hello, Linda! 234 00:13:59,350 --> 00:14:01,030 Very good. 235 00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:05,190 I don't know if this is going to annoy Krishnan or not... 236 00:14:06,910 --> 00:14:08,880 Yeah. Pretty clever, isn't it? 237 00:14:08,910 --> 00:14:11,366 The cow is the biggest thing so far, but it's up to you whether 238 00:14:11,390 --> 00:14:12,880 it's gone through the doughnut. 239 00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:15,190 Well, I'll mull on it, shall I? All right. 240 00:14:15,220 --> 00:14:16,720 Right. Advertising break. 241 00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:19,160 Time to buy some more plastic stuff. 242 00:14:19,190 --> 00:14:21,880 Or you could pop outside and run through some woodland 243 00:14:21,910 --> 00:14:26,240 with your loved ones before the oncoming environmental apocalypse. 244 00:14:26,270 --> 00:14:27,270 UP t0 you! 245 00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:43,170 Hello! And welcome back to the second half of the first half 246 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,680 of our special little treat. 247 00:14:44,710 --> 00:14:47,280 We're just seven people living the dream. 248 00:14:47,310 --> 00:14:49,890 Before the break, our part-time contestants were trying to get 249 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:51,710 the biggest thing through a ring doughnut. 250 00:14:51,740 --> 00:14:54,680 So far, we've seen Shirley, Krishnan, and Rylan's attempts. 251 00:14:54,710 --> 00:14:56,920 Now for John Hannah and Nicola's. 252 00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:00,250 A sing... a s... 253 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:03,430 It's a single thing, it's not... 254 00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:06,350 a bunch... it's not a bunch of things. 255 00:15:06,380 --> 00:15:07,600 Oh, my God. 256 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,920 Ooh. Yeah, that should go. 257 00:15:28,670 --> 00:15:30,430 That's not bad, is it? 258 00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:33,120 Through... there you go. Yeah. 259 00:15:33,150 --> 00:15:34,640 Are there any spare doughnuts? 260 00:15:34,670 --> 00:15:36,680 To...? Nibble. To nibble? 261 00:15:36,710 --> 00:15:40,430 Yes, I can get you another doughnut to nibble, that's fine. OK. 262 00:15:48,950 --> 00:15:50,760 One doughnut for you, Nicola. Thanks! 263 00:15:50,790 --> 00:15:53,480 Oh, OK, this is a test doughnut, as well. 264 00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:56,400 Did you trick me into getting you a test doughnut? I didn't. 265 00:15:56,430 --> 00:15:58,970 OK, I can make that taller. 266 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,000 Yeah. 267 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,970 This is my youth, spent doing arts and crafts, 268 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,790 it's finally... finally coming good. 269 00:16:15,820 --> 00:16:18,170 Stuck my hand together, that's a bit of an issue. 270 00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:32,970 Nice. This is going to look amazing. 271 00:16:41,230 --> 00:16:43,080 Now for the trousers. 272 00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:44,400 That's amazing! 273 00:16:44,430 --> 00:16:46,280 Now the shoes... 274 00:16:46,310 --> 00:16:48,890 I don't think there's any improving on perfection, so... 275 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,440 WHISTLE BLOWS There we go. 276 00:16:50,470 --> 00:16:51,760 That's your 20 minutes up. 277 00:16:53,750 --> 00:16:55,200 Do you like it? 278 00:16:55,230 --> 00:16:56,610 You know what, I really do. 279 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,280 I'm going to have a sip. 280 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,360 It's quite nice. Honestly. 281 00:17:02,390 --> 00:17:03,400 Thank you, john. 282 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:08,000 Did you really spend your youth doing arts and crafts? Yeah. 283 00:17:08,030 --> 00:17:09,280 Yeah? What about it? 284 00:17:09,310 --> 00:17:10,840 I put this to you. Yeah? 285 00:17:10,870 --> 00:17:14,440 The only thing that's through that doughnut is... Yeah? 286 00:17:14,470 --> 00:17:17,000 less than a centimetre of cactus tip. 287 00:17:17,030 --> 00:17:19,280 I said to Alex, "ls it through?" 288 00:17:19,310 --> 00:17:21,120 And Alex said, "Yes." 289 00:17:21,150 --> 00:17:23,440 He misled you. 290 00:17:23,470 --> 00:17:26,050 Why would you do that to me? I thought we were friends. Yeah. 291 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,050 Did you? Yeah. No-one's ever said that to me. 292 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,000 I can't believe you've turned on me like this. 293 00:17:30,030 --> 00:17:31,330 Yeah, he does that. Yeah. 294 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:34,360 He's no loyalty to anyone. Two-faced! No loyalty to anyone. 295 00:17:34,390 --> 00:17:36,720 I'm sat here between the sexy and brainy side, 296 00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:38,520 and then, it's all chump in the middle! 297 00:17:40,030 --> 00:17:42,360 So, I see how it is, I see it. Ooh, yeah. 298 00:17:42,390 --> 00:17:46,050 You bet big on that cactus being through the doughnut. I did. 299 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:47,480 And you fucked it. 300 00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:53,920 john, I had high hopes for you 301 00:17:53,950 --> 00:17:56,480 when you started passing film through... 302 00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:59,360 but then, just kept passing things through the doughnut. 303 00:17:59,390 --> 00:18:02,360 I thought you were very brave, actually, for passing things that 304 00:18:02,390 --> 00:18:03,920 could've broken the doughnut. 305 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:07,800 You thought he was brave for, what, getting the toy giraffe 306 00:18:07,830 --> 00:18:09,840 through the doughnut, did you, Krishnan? 307 00:18:09,870 --> 00:18:13,230 I would not have had the courage to pass the toy giraffe... Yeah? 308 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,560 through the doughnut. 309 00:18:14,590 --> 00:18:17,280 Christ, it really does work, having a news presenter. 310 00:18:17,310 --> 00:18:19,720 I almost started to believe it was important, 311 00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:22,130 passing a giraffe through a doughnut. 312 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:23,970 It does work! 313 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,480 He did make one enormous cup of tea. 314 00:18:25,510 --> 00:18:28,086 That was the biggest of the items, of the many items. What was it? 315 00:18:28,110 --> 00:18:30,490 1,500 cubic centimetres. Big cup of tea. 316 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,080 So, if we're taking one of his attempts, it's going to be 317 00:18:33,110 --> 00:18:34,590 the cup of tea. Yes. 318 00:18:34,620 --> 00:18:37,200 This'll drive an even bigger wedge between you and Nicola, 319 00:18:37,230 --> 00:18:39,690 because I am going to allow Rylan passing the cow 320 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:42,050 - through the doughnut. - Oh, good for you. 321 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,970 Well, the cow is the biggest thing - it's 800,000 centimetres cubed. 322 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,800 No, just shush! He's made his choice! 323 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:53,920 You'd have to find out what the aperture was, and then, 324 00:18:53,950 --> 00:18:55,560 the aperture would be two-dimensional, 325 00:18:55,590 --> 00:18:57,080 as opposed to three dimensional. 326 00:18:57,110 --> 00:18:59,070 So, it would be a lot less than the 1,500 cubic... 327 00:19:07,670 --> 00:19:10,970 I thought we were friends! 328 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,520 Greg, are you saying he got the whole cow through the doughnut? 329 00:19:13,550 --> 00:19:14,600 Do you know what? 330 00:19:14,630 --> 00:19:17,640 Just because I know it'll annoy people on the Internet, yeah. 331 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,560 Yeah, he got the cow through the doughnut. 332 00:19:21,590 --> 00:19:23,360 Come at me! LAUGHTER 333 00:19:23,390 --> 00:19:26,880 Come at me! In that case, Nicola's bit of cactus was the smallest. 334 00:19:26,910 --> 00:19:28,330 Then it was the cup of tea. 335 00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:31,000 Then it was the fishing rod and fish extravaganza. 336 00:19:31,030 --> 00:19:33,440 Then it was Shirley's massive pipe. 337 00:19:33,470 --> 00:19:36,800 But the winner, with five points, is Rylan Clark-Neal! There it is. 338 00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:41,240 Alex. Yes? Can I have the scoreboard, please? 339 00:19:41,270 --> 00:19:44,160 We can. We have an early leader, and that leader is 340 00:19:44,190 --> 00:19:46,080 Shirley Ballas with nine points! 341 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,280 Lovely. Right, another task, please. 342 00:19:51,310 --> 00:19:55,600 OK, it's time at last to get all touchy-feely. 343 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,770 That's terrifying. 344 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,160 Can I come in, too, please? 345 00:20:12,190 --> 00:20:14,520 Oh, sorry. It's all right. Yes, of course you can. 346 00:20:14,550 --> 00:20:16,210 Thank you. I like to watch what happens. 347 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,960 Thank you. 348 00:20:25,910 --> 00:20:28,320 Is that Play-Doh? Oh. 349 00:20:28,350 --> 00:20:32,050 Would you mind putting on the long, black gloves before you open it? 350 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,240 OK, this is starting to feel weird. 351 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,440 They work. 352 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,440 Other of the side of this wall. 353 00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:52,650 "Most accurate sculpture wins." 354 00:20:58,320 --> 00:20:59,600 I don't like this. 355 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,410 Look away... 356 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:07,410 I have been some of the world's most dangerous places. 357 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,290 And that was scary. 358 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,930 Let's see how they got on with sticking their arm through a wall. 359 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:17,880 All right, Greg, it's montage time! 360 00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:20,290 Ooh, it's warm. It's got ears! 361 00:21:23,830 --> 00:21:26,410 Is this act... this is actually a person! 362 00:21:39,470 --> 00:21:41,080 Oh, OK. 363 00:21:42,470 --> 00:21:44,400 I think I know what it is. 364 00:21:44,430 --> 00:21:46,080 Hello. 365 00:21:46,110 --> 00:21:48,440 Right. 366 00:21:50,830 --> 00:21:53,210 They may not talk, because they're a scene. 367 00:21:55,550 --> 00:21:56,930 You can manipulate them however... 368 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,210 Quite rough there, john. 369 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,680 Sorry about this, sir. What kind of hat is this? 370 00:22:09,710 --> 00:22:12,010 I feel like it can be, like, a policeman's hat, 371 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:13,600 or like an army hat. 372 00:22:15,430 --> 00:22:18,650 Yeah. Ooh. They feel blue, do they? 373 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,570 Green eyes are very rare, aren't they? 374 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,930 Let's go with blue. You can feel them. 375 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,440 No, I can't put my finger in someone's eye. 376 00:22:29,470 --> 00:22:30,960 Have you got trousers on? 377 00:22:30,990 --> 00:22:32,570 Is there another hole? 378 00:22:38,830 --> 00:22:41,090 Oh! Ohh! 379 00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:42,320 I'm sorry, scene! 380 00:22:42,350 --> 00:22:44,650 TOOT Oh, thank God for that! 381 00:22:51,910 --> 00:22:53,240 Yeah, you mentioned that. 382 00:22:53,270 --> 00:22:55,490 I might get a bit abstract. 383 00:22:58,910 --> 00:23:00,130 What's that? 384 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,680 What's that? He's holding something! 385 00:23:04,710 --> 00:23:06,490 That's a duck. 386 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,400 Why would you be holding a duck? 387 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:10,730 How quick was that duck? 388 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:12,570 Have you ever seen a duck quicker than that? 389 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,480 LS it? 390 00:23:14,510 --> 00:23:15,600 Here I come again! 391 00:23:15,630 --> 00:23:17,290 Ooh, there's a new addition. 392 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:19,040 Found something across the eyes. 393 00:23:19,070 --> 00:23:21,010 I think it's like a Superman mask, or something. 394 00:23:22,990 --> 00:23:24,450 Most accurate sculpture wins. 395 00:23:26,790 --> 00:23:29,680 I feel like I'm making a cake, like I'm on Bake Off, or something. 396 00:23:33,350 --> 00:23:36,290 With a little bit of panic and a lot of determination... 397 00:23:39,270 --> 00:23:41,040 I think that's about as far as we get. 398 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:43,520 WHISTLE BLOWS Ta-da! 399 00:23:52,350 --> 00:23:56,210 The human being behind the thing was largely referred to everybody 400 00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,520 as "lt" throughout. 401 00:23:58,550 --> 00:24:01,170 Then he became a character in your world, "Scene". 402 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,320 "L fucking know what you are!" 403 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:08,650 That was really polite. 404 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,010 Why were you trying to hit him with the mallet? 405 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:20,850 Krishnan, I saw a moment during this where I think you realised 406 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:22,680 for the first time what show you were on... 407 00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:27,930 when you said, "Why would he be holding a duck"? 408 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,320 Extreme rationalist. 409 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:37,730 Very different reaction from Nicola, whose reaction to feeling a duck 410 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,090 was to make the quickest duck she could. 411 00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:42,680 Yeah. 412 00:24:42,710 --> 00:24:45,480 It was like it's a thing you've done before. 413 00:24:45,510 --> 00:24:47,370 "OK, it's a duck. I know how to make those," 414 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,040 "and I know how to do it quickly." 415 00:24:49,070 --> 00:24:51,730 John's technique is a little rough-and-ready, I think. 416 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:54,450 Well, I didn't have the benefit of an arts and crafts background. 417 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,090 Yeah, but when you feel someone up, you feel 'em up proper. 418 00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:58,600 Yeah, in a Northern way. 419 00:24:58,630 --> 00:25:00,120 And that's great. 420 00:25:00,150 --> 00:25:03,680 But unfortunately what that leads to is you mistaking glasses 421 00:25:03,710 --> 00:25:05,250 for a superhero mask. 422 00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:07,040 Not necessarily, I was interpreting. 423 00:25:07,070 --> 00:25:10,400 Oh. 424 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:18,810 Right, we're going to see what hideous monstrosities they managed 425 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:22,570 to slap together right after this... ad break! 426 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,490 Hello, and welcome back to Taskmaster! 427 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,850 For one night only, we're lucky enough to have four popular 428 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,970 entertainers, and a baffled and frightened newsreader. 429 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,280 During the break... 430 00:25:54,310 --> 00:25:57,530 Shirley Ballas dropped her mic and pack into the toilet. 431 00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:00,850 I did, I did! LAUGHTER 432 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:05,250 Alex, remind us what was happening before the break. 433 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,610 They were trying to sculpt a scene without seeing the scene - 434 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,850 the scene being a crossing guard or lollipop man holding a duck 435 00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:13,610 and a nice big lollipop. 436 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:17,490 The first sculpture we're going to see is Rylan's effort. 437 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,410 Ready? So ready. 438 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:23,180 Now, hang on. 439 00:26:23,210 --> 00:26:24,930 I don't know if it's good. 440 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:27,250 Shall I show you what he was trying to sculpt? 441 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:28,440 This is The Lollipop Man. 442 00:26:28,470 --> 00:26:30,890 As a side note, you're quite right, Shirley. 443 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:32,210 He's a powerhouse. 444 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,050 And then, here is his interpretation. 445 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,000 What's the purple thing? That's the duck. 446 00:26:47,390 --> 00:26:49,726 You know, he is good, right, he's a good salesman, isn't he? 447 00:26:49,750 --> 00:26:50,800 I know. 448 00:26:50,830 --> 00:26:54,000 It doesn't matter what horseshit's up on the screen, 449 00:26:54,030 --> 00:26:55,900 I start to believe him. 450 00:26:55,930 --> 00:26:58,270 Let's see someone else's. It's very good, Rylan. 451 00:26:58,300 --> 00:27:00,590 Next, we're going to see Krishnan's. This is his effort. 452 00:27:00,620 --> 00:27:02,950 Ooh! Oh, my God! Oh, what is that? 453 00:27:02,980 --> 00:27:04,590 The face is very powerful. 454 00:27:04,620 --> 00:27:07,310 That's almost the exact same face you had when you went... 455 00:27:09,180 --> 00:27:11,430 "Why would he be holding a duck?" 456 00:27:13,180 --> 00:27:15,560 It looks like an eyeless ghoul. 457 00:27:16,980 --> 00:27:20,380 Well, he said it's an old man with a normal-size nose. Right. 458 00:27:20,410 --> 00:27:22,740 In the frame, I'm quite pleased with that. 459 00:27:22,770 --> 00:27:25,870 Is that what they say in the art world, is it? 460 00:27:25,900 --> 00:27:28,280 "L'm pleased with it in the frame." ls that a thing? 461 00:27:28,310 --> 00:27:30,310 Would you like to see john Hanna's in the frame? 462 00:27:30,340 --> 00:27:32,870 Well, yes, anything to get away from that scary ghoul. 463 00:27:32,900 --> 00:27:34,820 OK, here is john Hanna's in the frame. 464 00:27:34,850 --> 00:27:37,510 Oh, no! 465 00:27:37,540 --> 00:27:40,710 He said he thought it was a member of the Swiss Guard. 466 00:27:40,740 --> 00:27:42,630 Right. The people... 467 00:27:42,660 --> 00:27:44,950 And if it had been a member of the Swiss Guard, 468 00:27:44,980 --> 00:27:46,280 you'd be scoring big now. 469 00:27:48,620 --> 00:27:50,920 The more I look at it, the more I'm enjoying it. 470 00:27:50,950 --> 00:27:52,100 Make what you will of that. 471 00:27:52,130 --> 00:27:55,560 All right, well, do you want to see Nicola's slightly shorter version? 472 00:27:55,590 --> 00:27:57,870 Yeah, let's have a look. 473 00:27:57,900 --> 00:28:00,510 So, she said it was a little Irish man called Paddy. Yeah. 474 00:28:00,540 --> 00:28:02,540 Thank you. 475 00:28:02,570 --> 00:28:05,350 We know she can do a speed duck, that's been established. 476 00:28:05,380 --> 00:28:07,920 Isn't it amazing how accidentally Irish he looks? 477 00:28:07,950 --> 00:28:10,230 He looks like that old man in the pub who you're like, 478 00:28:10,260 --> 00:28:12,070 "Go home to your wife and kids!" 479 00:28:12,100 --> 00:28:14,430 Oh, the guy who's holding the duck in the pub? 480 00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:16,430 That guy, yes, that's exactly the one I mean. 481 00:28:16,460 --> 00:28:17,870 There he is, anyways. 482 00:28:17,900 --> 00:28:19,560 What's the, erm, orange disc? 483 00:28:19,590 --> 00:28:22,350 Taskmaster sign. That says "TM". Oh, yeah! 484 00:28:22,380 --> 00:28:24,030 One left to see, Greg. Shirley! 485 00:28:24,060 --> 00:28:26,390 She's the only one who did it on a different plane. 486 00:28:26,420 --> 00:28:29,230 She did it on the wall itself, and it looks like this. Right. 487 00:28:31,620 --> 00:28:34,000 It's not that hard to judge it, I'll be honest with you. 488 00:28:34,030 --> 00:28:35,460 What do you think of the duck? 489 00:28:35,490 --> 00:28:37,310 I mean, it's rubbish. 490 00:28:39,140 --> 00:28:41,390 It's not... 491 00:28:41,420 --> 00:28:43,360 You know, art is not debatable. 492 00:28:43,390 --> 00:28:45,710 There will be people out there who look at that and think, 493 00:28:45,740 --> 00:28:47,390 "yeah, that looks like a lollipop man." 494 00:28:47,420 --> 00:28:49,750 There's no-one out there that'll look at that and go, 495 00:28:49,780 --> 00:28:51,590 "That's a lollipop man" in the whole country. 496 00:28:51,620 --> 00:28:53,460 You think? Yeah. 497 00:28:53,490 --> 00:28:55,820 Tell you what, Greg, do you want to see all five 498 00:28:55,850 --> 00:28:57,820 with the lollipop person? Yeah. Here they are. 499 00:28:57,850 --> 00:28:59,750 Oh, God. 500 00:28:59,780 --> 00:29:02,150 I'll tell you the winner first. You ready? I'm ready. 501 00:29:02,180 --> 00:29:06,540 Well, clearly, Rylan's old man is the closest to the scene. 502 00:29:06,570 --> 00:29:08,870 OK, five points to Rylan! Five points to Rylan. 503 00:29:09,850 --> 00:29:13,390 Krishnan's eyeless ghoul will take second place. 504 00:29:13,420 --> 00:29:15,390 Well done, four points, Krishnan. Four points. 505 00:29:15,420 --> 00:29:18,900 And then, no-one is more surprised than me about this, John. 506 00:29:18,930 --> 00:29:21,260 John Hannah takes three points. 507 00:29:24,030 --> 00:29:28,030 You are, because the haunted baby is closer to the scene. 508 00:29:28,060 --> 00:29:32,670 Amazingly, you are going to take home some points on this occasion. 509 00:29:32,700 --> 00:29:34,360 Two points... Right. 510 00:29:34,390 --> 00:29:37,900 for your lost, Irish big-duck man. 511 00:29:39,260 --> 00:29:41,540 And rightly, in final place, 512 00:29:41,570 --> 00:29:44,030 it's whatever Shirley has created there. 513 00:29:44,060 --> 00:29:46,360 One point to Shirley Ballas. There it is! 514 00:29:47,700 --> 00:29:50,000 One last task, then, please, Alex. 515 00:29:50,030 --> 00:29:53,830 Of course. And this one is outside, Greg, giving us a sneak preview 516 00:29:53,860 --> 00:29:55,670 of our trendy new outdoor area. 517 00:29:55,700 --> 00:29:56,700 Here we go. 518 00:30:08,220 --> 00:30:09,390 Oh, hi, john. 519 00:30:09,420 --> 00:30:10,870 You have a nice time in there? 520 00:30:10,900 --> 00:30:12,836 I kind of like it. I used to - when I was younger, 521 00:30:12,860 --> 00:30:15,670 we went on our holidays, we started off going in a ten. 522 00:30:15,700 --> 00:30:18,360 Good tent, you know, big-size tent, then we went caravanning. 523 00:30:18,390 --> 00:30:19,390 It was great. 524 00:30:21,830 --> 00:30:23,720 You are? 525 00:30:23,750 --> 00:30:24,950 Why is that, then? 526 00:30:27,060 --> 00:30:30,030 "Build the lightest tower on this set of scales." 527 00:30:33,700 --> 00:30:38,080 "And you may not tamper with or block the fan." 528 00:30:41,670 --> 00:30:45,160 "At the end of ten minutes, your tower must be taller than a wolf." 529 00:30:49,980 --> 00:30:52,750 Er... l need a step. Definitely. 530 00:30:58,390 --> 00:31:00,670 Are you not going to read the rest till I get you a step? 531 00:31:00,700 --> 00:31:02,360 Yeah. I refuse. 532 00:31:05,470 --> 00:31:07,680 I was thinking of using the scales. 533 00:31:09,420 --> 00:31:11,070 Ooh, yeah! 534 00:31:11,090 --> 00:31:13,400 Look, I'm nearly as big as a four-year-old now. 535 00:31:13,420 --> 00:31:14,940 Powerful. 536 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,480 "Your time starts now." 537 00:31:27,140 --> 00:31:28,760 That one was only for Rylan. 538 00:31:28,780 --> 00:31:30,840 Yeah, we didn't have to do that. 539 00:31:30,860 --> 00:31:35,190 I'm just delighted to hear about John Hanna's history of caravanning. 540 00:31:36,530 --> 00:31:38,400 A show that is waiting to happen. 541 00:31:40,010 --> 00:31:42,350 You could call it "john Hannah-vanning". 542 00:31:42,370 --> 00:31:45,270 John Hannah-vanning? Ohh... Lovely. If you want. 543 00:31:45,290 --> 00:31:48,270 I knew it wouldn't be long before we tried to get in on the action. 544 00:31:48,290 --> 00:31:50,680 Yeah... It's our idea, john. It is our idea. Yeah, yeah. 545 00:31:50,700 --> 00:31:52,430 Let's see their attempts. All right. 546 00:31:52,450 --> 00:31:55,270 Well, Krishnan, as usual, thought the set-up was weird. 547 00:31:55,290 --> 00:31:58,840 First of all, we're going to see the judge, the john, and the journo. 548 00:32:02,420 --> 00:32:05,040 You just need a good base. 549 00:32:07,890 --> 00:32:10,480 What were you laughing at, Shirley? 550 00:32:22,970 --> 00:32:25,840 That's over wolf height. 2,100 grams. 551 00:32:27,810 --> 00:32:28,840 Quite heavy. 552 00:32:28,860 --> 00:32:30,630 Why did you pick a duck? 553 00:32:30,650 --> 00:32:34,150 D0 you? 554 00:32:34,170 --> 00:32:35,590 How many ducks have you got? 555 00:32:39,250 --> 00:32:41,590 This is like my kitchen at home, it drives me nuts. 556 00:32:41,610 --> 00:32:44,430 Loads and loads different teas that I don't want. 557 00:32:44,450 --> 00:32:45,870 Can I break this? 558 00:32:45,890 --> 00:32:47,350 I think you're strong enough. 559 00:32:52,970 --> 00:32:54,710 145. 560 00:32:54,730 --> 00:32:57,070 That's what... I think might be as high as a wolf. 561 00:33:00,650 --> 00:33:02,430 The piece de resistance! Yes. 562 00:33:02,450 --> 00:33:04,760 But it won't be any heavier, and it's won't be any bigger. 563 00:33:04,780 --> 00:33:06,120 It'lljust look nicer. Yeah. 564 00:33:06,140 --> 00:33:08,400 That's actually 165g. That's 20g, that feather. 565 00:33:09,730 --> 00:33:10,950 You going to set fire to it? 566 00:33:10,970 --> 00:33:12,760 Well, it said the "lightest tower". 567 00:33:15,140 --> 00:33:18,480 I think this might be good because it might lessen the weight. 568 00:33:18,500 --> 00:33:21,840 I give you... the lightest tower. 569 00:33:21,860 --> 00:33:23,200 Ahh! 570 00:33:24,690 --> 00:33:27,310 That's your time up, Shirley. 571 00:33:29,730 --> 00:33:31,510 That's stayed up, Krishnan. 572 00:33:31,530 --> 00:33:33,350 Congratulations. Thank you very much. 573 00:33:35,420 --> 00:33:37,710 Yeah. 574 00:33:37,730 --> 00:33:39,200 Yeah. 575 00:33:39,220 --> 00:33:41,990 Thanks, john. I'll put all these things back in the shed. 576 00:33:45,220 --> 00:33:47,510 I've got a pitch for another TV show. 577 00:33:47,530 --> 00:33:48,990 Great, do you want a name for it? 578 00:33:49,010 --> 00:33:51,000 Yes, it's Krishnan's Too Many Teas. 579 00:33:52,500 --> 00:33:54,120 Krishnan's was 190g. 580 00:33:54,140 --> 00:33:57,670 But then, he lit it and burnt off 5g of tower. 581 00:33:57,690 --> 00:34:00,750 So, it became 185g. 582 00:34:00,770 --> 00:34:03,870 His weight exactly the same as a hamster, just for reference. 583 00:34:03,890 --> 00:34:06,390 They're pretty light, aren't they? Yeah, pretty light. 584 00:34:06,410 --> 00:34:08,710 I also figured you couldn't just get one tall thing. 585 00:34:08,730 --> 00:34:09,950 It's not building a tower. 586 00:34:09,970 --> 00:34:11,280 You could get three. Two. 587 00:34:11,300 --> 00:34:14,920 And it could end up being a majestic, befeathered... 588 00:34:14,940 --> 00:34:17,360 Do you want me to check the feather, or are we happy with that? 589 00:34:17,380 --> 00:34:19,120 No, I'll go with the feathered... 590 00:34:19,140 --> 00:34:21,150 The majestic, befeathered tower. 591 00:34:21,170 --> 00:34:23,840 Which I was much relieved to see in the end, john, 592 00:34:23,860 --> 00:34:26,280 because you started off by just balancing rubber bricks 593 00:34:26,300 --> 00:34:27,310 on top of each other. 594 00:34:29,140 --> 00:34:31,790 Do a bad thing before you get to a good thing. 595 00:34:31,810 --> 00:34:35,480 He was like a legless hamster. 160g. Right. 596 00:34:35,500 --> 00:34:38,790 And how does that compare with the woman who claims to have a 597 00:34:38,810 --> 00:34:41,070 duck collection with just 12 ducks? 598 00:34:43,940 --> 00:34:45,200 She's lost, hasn't she? 599 00:34:45,220 --> 00:34:47,670 Her tower weighed the same as a hamster who has swallowed 600 00:34:47,690 --> 00:34:49,200 a Category C battery. 601 00:34:49,220 --> 00:34:50,670 So, that's 265g. 602 00:34:50,690 --> 00:34:53,230 OK, so... Third place at the moment. 603 00:34:53,250 --> 00:34:55,150 Three parts down, and one to go. 604 00:34:55,170 --> 00:34:59,110 Join us soon to see a highly successful famous person take home 605 00:34:59,130 --> 00:35:01,790 some dirt-cheap disco lights and a Bop It. 606 00:35:01,810 --> 00:35:03,390 Feel the adrenaline high! 607 00:35:18,010 --> 00:35:20,600 Hello and welcome back to the final part of the show. 608 00:35:20,620 --> 00:35:25,320 Not long to go now until someone claims this finely crafted trophy. 609 00:35:30,180 --> 00:35:32,080 Why don't you shut your stupid mouth? 610 00:35:40,770 --> 00:35:43,470 Yeah! 611 00:35:53,490 --> 00:35:54,750 Lightest tower... 612 00:35:56,820 --> 00:35:59,680 Oh, fuck. BELL DINGS 613 00:35:59,700 --> 00:36:01,960 Oh, I've had a really good idea. 614 00:36:01,980 --> 00:36:05,520 I was thinking about science. 615 00:36:05,540 --> 00:36:07,360 I was gonna do an opposite... 616 00:36:09,740 --> 00:36:11,600 But actually, that's only a small fan. 617 00:36:13,060 --> 00:36:15,550 Tower. Tower. 618 00:36:15,570 --> 00:36:18,080 Lightest... tower. 619 00:36:18,100 --> 00:36:19,880 Lightest tower. 620 00:36:19,900 --> 00:36:21,720 I need a tower and a light, 621 00:36:21,740 --> 00:36:23,440 I need a tower and a light. 622 00:36:23,460 --> 00:36:27,320 Argh! It'll work. But that's pretty... 623 00:36:27,340 --> 00:36:29,600 Will that work? Uh-uh. 624 00:36:31,210 --> 00:36:32,600 What?! 625 00:36:32,620 --> 00:36:34,350 You never said that! 626 00:36:37,060 --> 00:36:38,440 Not good! 627 00:36:40,780 --> 00:36:41,910 Not really. 628 00:36:41,930 --> 00:36:44,400 I'm trying to work out how I can cheat. 629 00:36:45,850 --> 00:36:47,240 I've had a really good idea. 630 00:36:48,420 --> 00:36:50,880 Ah. METAL CLAN KI NG 631 00:36:50,900 --> 00:36:52,350 Oh come on! 632 00:36:54,290 --> 00:36:56,160 The lightest tower. 633 00:37:04,700 --> 00:37:06,960 Oh, I've had a really good idea. 634 00:37:06,980 --> 00:37:08,350 Hang on... 635 00:37:08,370 --> 00:37:10,880 Has anyone ever used that before? 636 00:37:10,900 --> 00:37:13,630 The task? These lads are very light. 637 00:37:13,650 --> 00:37:16,520 I've done such a good job of taping it. 638 00:37:16,540 --> 00:37:17,600 Ugh! 639 00:37:21,370 --> 00:37:23,710 A lightest tower. 640 00:37:25,370 --> 00:37:27,630 Oh, let's doll it up then. 641 00:37:27,650 --> 00:37:28,630 Oh, shit! 642 00:37:28,650 --> 00:37:30,160 Stay there! 643 00:37:32,140 --> 00:37:33,140 Argh! 644 00:37:34,860 --> 00:37:36,320 Fuck's sake. 645 00:37:39,370 --> 00:37:41,760 Oh, I've had a really couple of good ideas there! 646 00:37:43,010 --> 00:37:44,400 I would as well. 647 00:37:49,140 --> 00:37:50,600 Meerkat. 648 00:37:50,620 --> 00:37:52,520 I'm done. WHISTLE BLOWS 649 00:37:52,540 --> 00:37:57,550 Not only is my tower light in weight, it is bright 650 00:37:57,570 --> 00:38:01,070 and light in luminosity. 651 00:38:05,140 --> 00:38:07,430 I mean, you're like car salesman sometimes. 652 00:38:07,450 --> 00:38:08,990 Fine with it. 653 00:38:09,010 --> 00:38:11,350 I've got some bad news for you coming. 654 00:38:11,370 --> 00:38:15,760 Erm, I see your art and craft background kicked in nicely though. 655 00:38:15,780 --> 00:38:17,600 Kicked right in there, didn't it? 656 00:38:17,620 --> 00:38:20,710 There was one point where you just scrunched up some paper 657 00:38:20,730 --> 00:38:23,600 and you thought it was going to support itself. Oh, yeah. 658 00:38:23,620 --> 00:38:25,910 Not even the three little pigs were that thick! 659 00:38:27,370 --> 00:38:29,350 I think what I was realising is that maybe 660 00:38:29,370 --> 00:38:31,760 my self-esteem is too high and I have too much self-belief. 661 00:38:31,780 --> 00:38:33,680 Cos I thought I did really great on everything 662 00:38:33,700 --> 00:38:35,560 and it's surprising that I didn't. 663 00:38:37,980 --> 00:38:40,350 SHE LAUGHS What did Nicola actually end up with? 664 00:38:44,090 --> 00:38:45,960 No, I didn't. I had a roll of blue roll. 665 00:38:45,980 --> 00:38:48,320 No points... 666 00:38:48,340 --> 00:38:50,710 Oh, that's not nice. ..unless it's taller than the wolf. 667 00:38:50,730 --> 00:38:53,350 Shall we deal with Rylan's or not? 668 00:38:56,420 --> 00:38:58,710 Yeah. Of course he didn't! 669 00:38:58,730 --> 00:39:01,170 How did I not build a tower? I knew you were gonna do this. 670 00:39:01,190 --> 00:39:03,630 Of course you did! Do you wanna buy an X1? 671 00:39:05,220 --> 00:39:07,840 How did I not build a tower? 672 00:39:11,090 --> 00:39:12,560 Bring that picture back up 673 00:39:12,580 --> 00:39:15,320 and I will show you how that was standing by itself. 674 00:39:15,340 --> 00:39:17,630 There it is. Look at that! 675 00:39:17,650 --> 00:39:18,990 There. That is a tower. 676 00:39:19,010 --> 00:39:20,350 It's like the Shard. 677 00:39:20,370 --> 00:39:22,400 Think you... LAUGHTER 678 00:39:22,420 --> 00:39:25,200 I think you should start a cult or something. It's compelling. 679 00:39:25,220 --> 00:39:28,170 You said, "l've had a really good idea." 680 00:39:28,190 --> 00:39:31,040 And I found myself going, "Yes, he has." 681 00:39:32,550 --> 00:39:35,530 Shirl, lovely Shirley Ballas, Shirley, is that a tower? 682 00:39:37,010 --> 00:39:39,350 God bless your family, Shirley Ballas! 683 00:39:39,370 --> 00:39:41,680 Oh course! Well she can be in your cult now, can't she? 684 00:39:44,810 --> 00:39:46,480 Yeah, and I've done it. 685 00:39:46,500 --> 00:39:48,960 And I'm gonna judge it big time. Oh... fuck. 686 00:39:48,980 --> 00:39:50,680 Tell me the... the facts first. 687 00:39:56,810 --> 00:39:59,640 That's brilliant. Well done, john, and I applaud that. 688 00:40:04,780 --> 00:40:06,760 OK, of course it wasn't. 689 00:40:10,270 --> 00:40:11,890 I'm afraid so. 690 00:40:14,220 --> 00:40:17,280 APPLAUSE There it is. 691 00:40:17,300 --> 00:40:19,920 It was simple, it was a tower, it was beautiful, 692 00:40:19,940 --> 00:40:21,480 and it wasn't horse shit. 693 00:40:21,500 --> 00:40:23,840 Can we see a scoreboard please? Oh, Jesus! 694 00:40:27,060 --> 00:40:29,400 Oh, Christ! 695 00:40:29,420 --> 00:40:32,250 Ooh! 696 00:40:32,270 --> 00:40:34,840 Wow, that is close. 697 00:40:34,860 --> 00:40:37,280 OK, everyone. We're nearly there, but for now 698 00:40:37,300 --> 00:40:41,920 please make your way to the stage for the final task of the show! 699 00:40:47,140 --> 00:40:48,560 Welcome! 700 00:40:48,580 --> 00:40:50,250 Right, who's gonna read the task out? 701 00:40:52,990 --> 00:40:54,610 OK. Good luck, Nic. 702 00:40:54,630 --> 00:40:56,920 "Without your fellow contestants seeing," 703 00:40:56,940 --> 00:40:58,610 "select one object from your box." 704 00:40:58,630 --> 00:41:02,120 "If you select the same object as one of your fellow contestants" 705 00:41:02,140 --> 00:41:05,970 "you will both lose 1 actual point. You have 30 seconds." 706 00:41:05,990 --> 00:41:08,640 Oh... 707 00:41:18,140 --> 00:41:20,090 Fascinating. WHISTLE BLOWS 708 00:41:20,110 --> 00:41:22,970 John Hannah, please stand and reveal your item! 709 00:41:24,220 --> 00:41:25,790 Bam! It's a cabbage. 710 00:41:31,780 --> 00:41:33,000 He has. 711 00:41:35,380 --> 00:41:36,560 What if I don't want to? 712 00:41:36,580 --> 00:41:38,840 Reveal it! 713 00:41:38,860 --> 00:41:40,560 Krishnan, you ruined my day! 714 00:41:40,580 --> 00:41:42,120 The drama! 715 00:41:44,460 --> 00:41:45,590 Reveal your thing! 716 00:41:47,420 --> 00:41:49,840 Lovely. 717 00:41:49,860 --> 00:41:52,150 Diagram of the bath! 718 00:41:52,170 --> 00:41:53,590 Reveal it Shirley! Ooh! 719 00:41:55,250 --> 00:41:57,510 It's the cabbage. I love this vegetable. 720 00:41:58,820 --> 00:42:00,230 That's why I picked it. 721 00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:02,560 I've heard you've got a collection of 12 of them. 722 00:42:02,580 --> 00:42:04,080 Only 12. 723 00:42:04,100 --> 00:42:05,920 I have no idea. 724 00:42:13,780 --> 00:42:15,400 Yeah, what's the bin about though? 725 00:42:15,420 --> 00:42:17,760 The bin and the bathtub's gonna be explained, because 726 00:42:17,780 --> 00:42:20,690 Krishnan's gonna open his bin and read the second part of the task. 727 00:42:20,710 --> 00:42:21,760 Oh, no. 728 00:42:23,860 --> 00:42:27,330 "Strike the most balls into the bath with your object." 729 00:42:27,350 --> 00:42:28,510 Oh, for goodness... 730 00:42:28,530 --> 00:42:30,870 "If any of your balls touch the Taskmaster" 731 00:42:30,890 --> 00:42:34,480 "you lose 1 actual point. You have one minute." 732 00:42:36,300 --> 00:42:38,640 Do you know what? 733 00:42:38,660 --> 00:42:41,510 I've been waiting for you to say those words my whole life. 734 00:42:49,820 --> 00:42:51,440 Neither have you, neither have you. 735 00:42:51,460 --> 00:42:53,160 There... 736 00:42:53,180 --> 00:42:55,840 Why can't I hit the ball? Try a different technique. 737 00:42:58,940 --> 00:43:00,800 No. 738 00:43:02,100 --> 00:43:04,640 A red ball struck me! 739 00:43:04,660 --> 00:43:06,230 That wasn't me. 740 00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:07,800 The big boy did it and ran away! 741 00:43:09,330 --> 00:43:10,720 This is broken. 742 00:43:10,740 --> 00:43:13,280 - You have 30 seconds left. - What?! 743 00:43:13,300 --> 00:43:15,200 Oh, another red ball stuck me! 744 00:43:16,740 --> 00:43:19,200 A third red ball struck me! You're in my way. 745 00:43:19,220 --> 00:43:21,800 Nobody else is gonna be hitting balls in that direction. 746 00:43:21,820 --> 00:43:24,800 I'm at a disadvantage here! Use the side! 747 00:43:24,820 --> 00:43:26,840 Use the side of the triangle! 748 00:43:26,860 --> 00:43:29,160 Four balls by John Hannah! 749 00:43:29,180 --> 00:43:32,520 That's cos I'm the only one that's firing in that fucking direction. 750 00:43:34,070 --> 00:43:35,360 No! 751 00:43:38,430 --> 00:43:40,080 Oh, my God, that... 752 00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:43,150 Anarchy! 753 00:43:43,170 --> 00:43:45,740 Would you all please come and join me down here. 754 00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:48,100 We'll see how that's affected the final scores! 755 00:43:50,240 --> 00:43:53,860 Well... 00f! "john hit me four times." 756 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:58,710 It was only twice lacking in deliberation. 757 00:43:58,730 --> 00:44:01,430 It's nice that you confess your crimes early doors, 758 00:44:01,450 --> 00:44:04,100 because I said, "Poor John shouldn't be punished cos I'm" 759 00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:06,070 "right in his firing line" and Alex said, 760 00:44:06,090 --> 00:44:08,020 "He was firing them at you on purpose." 761 00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:11,900 Correct. 762 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,580 Really? 763 00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,970 I'm only surprised because I couldn't take my eyes off Nicola. 764 00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:29,870 I was shouting at you, "Use the side, use the side." 765 00:44:29,890 --> 00:44:31,540 But... Oh, no! Yeah. 766 00:44:35,250 --> 00:44:36,900 RYLAN GASPS Nic! 767 00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:40,620 I'm amazed. That's, that's worth a win. 768 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:42,300 I am amazed. Brilliant. Oh, my! 769 00:44:49,710 --> 00:44:51,150 Serves you right! 770 00:44:51,170 --> 00:44:52,870 And what about Shirley? 771 00:44:52,890 --> 00:44:54,740 What about her? 772 00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:00,620 Shirley Ballas! 773 00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:01,870 Two balls! 774 00:45:01,890 --> 00:45:04,260 What a perfect way to end, Shirley. 775 00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:05,510 Two balls indeed. 776 00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:13,410 What? 777 00:45:14,610 --> 00:45:17,410 Shirley Ballas wins our special! 778 00:45:17,430 --> 00:45:21,260 Please head up to the stage to claim your party prizes 779 00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:24,300 and then raise your eyebrows in victory! 780 00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:25,540 Oh, my God... 781 00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:30,820 Well, there we are. That's an end to it. 782 00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:33,340 Now, what will become of our fearless five? 783 00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:36,180 Well, we know that following the broadcast of this special 784 00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:39,150 there'll be at least three brand-new TV shows. 785 00:45:39,170 --> 00:45:42,950 John Hannah Caravaner will be a big hit. 786 00:45:42,970 --> 00:45:45,310 Crap Craft With Coughlan is gonna give us all hope. 787 00:45:45,330 --> 00:45:47,870 And when people are clearing out all the useless tea 788 00:45:47,890 --> 00:45:50,230 out of their cupboards, they're all going 789 00:45:50,250 --> 00:45:53,660 to want to watch Krishnan presenting the Channel 4 Brews. 790 00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,660 As for Shirley Ballas, well, 791 00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:00,020 she'll be expressing herself with a flourish. 792 00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:03,820 Locked behind the doors of Rylan's two-person cult. 793 00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:06,590 Join us soon for another full series, 794 00:46:06,610 --> 00:46:10,950 but for now, let's see our one-off winner celebrate their career high. 795 00:46:10,970 --> 00:46:12,820 It's Shirley Ballas! 796 00:46:36,330 --> 00:46:39,310 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd