1 00:00:33,420 --> 00:00:35,530 Thank you and, of course, hello. 2 00:00:35,530 --> 00:00:37,710 I'm Greg Davies and this is Taskmaster. 3 00:00:37,710 --> 00:00:39,420 Three episodes down and we've already learnt 4 00:00:39,420 --> 00:00:41,550 so much about the five contestants. 5 00:00:41,550 --> 00:00:43,660 We've learnt their names, for example. 6 00:00:43,660 --> 00:00:46,220 But for those who haven't got that far, 7 00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:50,000 here's what our contenders are usually called. They are... 8 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,360 Alice Levine! 9 00:00:52,150 --> 00:00:54,370 Asim Chaudhry! 10 00:00:54,370 --> 00:00:56,400 Liza Tarbuck! 11 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,280 Russell Howard! 12 00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,840 And Tim Vine! 13 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,130 [applause] 14 00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:05,400 And next to me, like a blob of mayonnaise 15 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:08,730 that's dripped out of your sandwich onto your trousers, 16 00:01:08,730 --> 00:01:13,150 there to remain a nagging reminder of all the clumsy mistakes in life 17 00:01:13,150 --> 00:01:15,040 you've ever made. 18 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:16,880 It's... 19 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:19,020 little Alex Hooorne! 20 00:01:19,020 --> 00:01:21,910 - [cheers and applause] - Cheers, Greg. Thank you. 21 00:01:21,910 --> 00:01:23,200 It's nice to be here. 22 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,750 And here, to my left, 23 00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:28,120 he's as mild as he is meek, it's my assistant, little Ian. 24 00:01:29,020 --> 00:01:29,930 Little Ian. 25 00:01:29,930 --> 00:01:31,840 - [applause] - Pleasure, sir. 26 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:32,860 Ready? 27 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,170 When you are, sir. 28 00:01:34,170 --> 00:01:35,440 [quietly] The hell is this? 29 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:37,220 [laughter] 30 00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:38,910 It's my assistant, Ian. 31 00:01:38,910 --> 00:01:40,860 We play squash together and I've offered him a job. 32 00:01:40,860 --> 00:01:42,370 Where are you getting the money from? 33 00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:44,400 I've taken some of the money from the budget. 34 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,460 Sorry, Ian, you're gonna have to leave. 35 00:01:46,660 --> 00:01:47,640 [audience] Aww. 36 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:48,840 No, fuck you. 37 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:50,130 [laughter] 38 00:01:50,130 --> 00:01:52,710 I don't want to embarrass Ian, he seems like a perfectly nice chap. 39 00:01:52,710 --> 00:01:54,950 But if you could ask him to leave, I'd be very grateful. 40 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:57,260 You've got to go now. 41 00:01:57,260 --> 00:01:58,480 No problem, sir. 42 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,110 Can you book me a car, though, for after? 43 00:02:00,110 --> 00:02:01,220 What kind of car would you like? 44 00:02:01,220 --> 00:02:02,630 I don't give a shit, just make it silver! 45 00:02:02,630 --> 00:02:03,630 Sorry, sir. 46 00:02:04,970 --> 00:02:07,170 [applause] 47 00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:08,860 - Let's start the episode, Alex. - OK. 48 00:02:08,860 --> 00:02:11,440 OK, we're gonna start off with the prize task. 49 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:16,510 This week's prize category is the most thought-provoking thing. 50 00:02:16,510 --> 00:02:19,170 The person whose thing provokes the most thought from you, Greg, 51 00:02:19,170 --> 00:02:21,370 will get a maximum five points, and at the end of the show, 52 00:02:21,370 --> 00:02:23,820 the person with the most points across the episode 53 00:02:23,820 --> 00:02:26,220 will take home five thought-provoking things. 54 00:02:26,220 --> 00:02:28,570 - It's simple but also exciting. Like me. - Quite long-winded, though. 55 00:02:28,570 --> 00:02:30,460 - [Alex] Yeah, it was a little bit. - [laughter] 56 00:02:30,460 --> 00:02:31,380 Asim? 57 00:02:31,380 --> 00:02:35,000 Right, so, do you believe that everyone's got a doppelganger in life? 58 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,880 Yes, I do. I was saying it to Alex just before the show. 59 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,260 Yeah, and I was saying it to-- Oh. 60 00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:40,020 [laughter] 61 00:02:40,020 --> 00:02:42,480 So, my mate was in LA, and he went into this restaurant, 62 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:46,750 and there was a painting of this Iranian prince from, like, 63 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,930 the 17th century, and this is my doppelganger. 64 00:02:49,930 --> 00:02:50,930 Here we go. 65 00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:55,370 [laughter and applause] 66 00:02:55,370 --> 00:02:56,280 [Alex] Not bad. 67 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:57,460 That's good. 68 00:02:57,460 --> 00:02:59,020 [Alice] Very good. 69 00:02:59,020 --> 00:03:00,510 It would provoke this thought: 70 00:03:00,510 --> 00:03:02,620 "Yeah, that painting looks a bit like Asim." 71 00:03:02,620 --> 00:03:05,200 What I would like you to do is to give voice to the prince. 72 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:05,930 OK. 73 00:03:05,930 --> 00:03:07,770 I'm gonna look at that. You say what you want. 74 00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:09,500 [small voice] "Papa G, I love you." 75 00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:10,730 [laughter] 76 00:03:10,730 --> 00:03:13,020 "You are a part of my royal kingdom, 77 00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:16,880 and I look like Asim, and you're going to give me the prize for this task, 78 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,600 'cause I love you, Papa G." 79 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,910 Well done, Asim. It's an interesting opener. 80 00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:23,220 - Thank you, Papa. - Not a problem, my child. 81 00:03:23,220 --> 00:03:25,510 - Who's next? - Tim Vine, on the right. 82 00:03:25,510 --> 00:03:27,550 - [Alex] Here he is. - Ah, lovely. Thought-provoking? 83 00:03:27,550 --> 00:03:29,040 I collect records. 84 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,080 That's my decision and it's vinyl. 85 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:34,240 - [laughter] - [Asim] Oh, come on! 86 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:37,450 This album I bought, by Bill & Kate, 87 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:41,860 I can't understand what meeting they looked at that and said, 88 00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:43,130 "Yeah, that's great. Let's go with that." 89 00:03:43,130 --> 00:03:43,950 [Greg laughs] 90 00:03:43,950 --> 00:03:45,410 - Do you wanna see it? - Please. 91 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:49,150 [laughter] 92 00:03:49,150 --> 00:03:51,510 - [Tim] They're both out of focus. - [Greg] Yeah. 93 00:03:51,510 --> 00:03:54,260 [Tim] And they've got this weird sort of gap on his right. 94 00:03:54,260 --> 00:03:57,170 Were they there at the same time or was that early Photoshop? 95 00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:58,840 Exactly. So many questions. 96 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,110 Oh, my God. It's worse than that, I've worked it out. 97 00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:02,510 - [Alice] What? - Bill's dead. 98 00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:05,930 - [everyone gasps] - [Asim] Some ghost shit. 99 00:04:05,930 --> 00:04:08,840 That provoked more thought than I ever dreamt it would. 100 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,260 [laughter] 101 00:04:10,260 --> 00:04:11,550 Wanna move on to Liza? 102 00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:13,660 I do, but I mean, I'm still... 103 00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:14,840 [laughter] 104 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,220 [Greg] I'm having so many thoughts being provoked. 105 00:04:18,110 --> 00:04:19,910 Liza, provoke my thought. 106 00:04:19,910 --> 00:04:22,880 The sort of whole concept of Nikola Tesla. 107 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,570 - Nikola Tesla? - Nikola. 108 00:04:24,570 --> 00:04:25,950 - Nikola Tesla. - Yeah. 109 00:04:25,950 --> 00:04:29,480 If I find out that this guy didn't put his name to Tesla cars, 110 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:30,840 I'm gonna be so disappointed. 111 00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:32,840 I think Tesla cars nicked him to... 112 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,030 Woo, thank God. 113 00:04:34,860 --> 00:04:37,330 Without him, we wouldn't have X-rays, 114 00:04:37,330 --> 00:04:38,750 we wouldn't have remote control, 115 00:04:38,750 --> 00:04:39,910 we wouldn't have lights. 116 00:04:39,910 --> 00:04:41,640 The big deal is, he was stopped. 117 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,020 - He wanted free energy for everybody. - Right. 118 00:04:44,020 --> 00:04:46,020 J. P. Morgan, who was funding him, 119 00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:49,310 kinda closed him down and sold him as a lunatic. 120 00:04:49,310 --> 00:04:51,170 Oh God, what became of him, Liza? 121 00:04:51,170 --> 00:04:52,880 Oh, he died in a hotel room, penniless. 122 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:53,960 Oh, shut up. 123 00:04:56,350 --> 00:04:58,420 TESLAAA! 124 00:04:58,420 --> 00:04:59,750 I think that 'cause it has to be prize, 125 00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:01,880 we can't give him, so we've got some of his files. 126 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,550 [Greg] It's a good job you did the talking before we saw that. 127 00:05:04,550 --> 00:05:05,910 [laughter] 128 00:05:05,910 --> 00:05:08,170 - Dear oh dear. - So we've got the concept of Tesla. 129 00:05:08,170 --> 00:05:08,770 Yeah, good. 130 00:05:08,770 --> 00:05:11,620 - Shall we move on to Alice Levine? - Alice Levine. 131 00:05:11,620 --> 00:05:14,280 This was a thought-provoking book that I read recently. 132 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:17,750 [laughter] 133 00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:18,930 It's provoked a thought. 134 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,600 There are just some really incredible 135 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,880 bits of thought-provoking philosophy in her book. 136 00:05:24,330 --> 00:05:26,820 - So I've got a few here. - Oh, you've jotted a few down. 137 00:05:26,820 --> 00:05:28,140 "If you break the law... 138 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:30,400 you have to pay." 139 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:31,110 [Asim] Hmm. 140 00:05:31,110 --> 00:05:32,970 - [Alice] Hmm. - Wow, that's deep. 141 00:05:32,970 --> 00:05:34,480 That's deep, isn't it? 142 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,980 That's incredible, because that's so not deep. 143 00:05:37,710 --> 00:05:40,330 You're looking for angles underneath her saying, 144 00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:41,760 "You shouldn't break the law." 145 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:46,170 Right, OK. Well, Judge Judy was more thought-provoking 146 00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:48,440 than I thought, I guess. Who's next? 147 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:51,510 Well, the final person is Russell Howard, there. 148 00:05:51,510 --> 00:05:54,680 OK, so I was on a plane recently... 149 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,020 and a Buddhist monk sat next to me. 150 00:05:57,020 --> 00:06:00,170 And then I was looking at what he was playing on his iPad. 151 00:06:00,170 --> 00:06:03,860 And he was playing a game that was a fidget spinner. 152 00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:06,280 And he was just... spinning it, like that. 153 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,000 [laughter] 154 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,170 And I just couldn't stop thinking about his life. 155 00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:11,310 [laughter] 156 00:06:11,310 --> 00:06:13,350 Is this what he does to get away from Buddhism? 157 00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:15,860 He's like, "Yeah, see you in a bit!" and then just gets a flight. 158 00:06:15,860 --> 00:06:17,880 And just spins fidgets. 159 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,770 Or when you get to the end of Buddhism, 160 00:06:20,770 --> 00:06:23,170 do you pull back a curtain and there's just a big fidget spinner? 161 00:06:23,170 --> 00:06:24,550 - Yeah. - [laughter] 162 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,280 He's completed Buddhism? 163 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:27,620 When you get to the end of Buddhism, right. 164 00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,710 - Yeah, when you get to the... - The end of Buddhism. 165 00:06:29,710 --> 00:06:30,950 [Alex] Are you ready to judge, Greg? 166 00:06:30,950 --> 00:06:32,210 - I am. - Mm-hm. 167 00:06:32,950 --> 00:06:35,330 In last place, with one point, 168 00:06:35,330 --> 00:06:36,130 Is? 169 00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:36,840 Asim. 170 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:39,130 - Oh, come on! - [laughter] 171 00:06:39,130 --> 00:06:41,130 - Asim gets one, OK. - Just up from that... 172 00:06:41,130 --> 00:06:44,280 A lot of thought, and it made me scream into the air, 173 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:47,770 but yet, pound for pound, it was a little bit dry. 174 00:06:47,770 --> 00:06:49,950 - It's Tesla. - [Alex] Tesla. 175 00:06:49,950 --> 00:06:51,350 Liza gets two points. 176 00:06:51,350 --> 00:06:54,240 Then I'm gonna pop... Alice in, 177 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,040 and I've made some really good notes about yours. 178 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,440 I wrote this note. Ready? 179 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:58,530 "Made me think." 180 00:06:58,530 --> 00:07:00,330 [laughter] 181 00:07:00,330 --> 00:07:03,460 - In second place, controversial... - With four points. Uh-huh? 182 00:07:03,460 --> 00:07:06,200 Because whatever they're up to, Bill & Kate, 183 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,020 it provoked so much thought in me, 184 00:07:08,020 --> 00:07:09,150 it still is. 185 00:07:09,150 --> 00:07:12,280 But, Buddhism, it's a worthy winner, isn't it? 186 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:14,220 - Russell Howard wins. - [Alex] Five points. 187 00:07:14,220 --> 00:07:17,570 [applause] 188 00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,330 OK, let's get going. Alex? 189 00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:23,730 Yes, and here's a task to celebrate all the men out there, at last. 190 00:07:23,730 --> 00:07:25,210 [laughter] 191 00:07:37,060 --> 00:07:39,500 [he clicks his fingers] 192 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:43,700 OK. It's a box. 193 00:07:44,950 --> 00:07:46,170 Hi, possums. 194 00:07:46,170 --> 00:07:47,520 [Alex] Sorry? 195 00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:48,720 Don't be sorry. 196 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:00,260 "Do something manly with this cardboard box." 197 00:08:00,260 --> 00:08:02,200 "Manliest thing wins." 198 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,030 "You've got 20 minutes. Your time starts now." 199 00:08:05,330 --> 00:08:06,370 Hmm. 200 00:08:06,370 --> 00:08:09,640 I could get in it and cough, couldn't I, and pretend I've got flu. 201 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,800 [laughter] 202 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,260 Manly, though. What does manly mean, you know? 203 00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:15,920 DIY is pretty manly. 204 00:08:16,660 --> 00:08:19,750 It means they've got manly... a man's... characteristics. 205 00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:22,330 Macho, isn't it? Macho. 206 00:08:22,330 --> 00:08:23,880 I'm gonna need a woman. 207 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,970 [Alex] OK. I'll get you a woman. 208 00:08:25,970 --> 00:08:27,880 I mean, the manliest thing I can think of is, just, like, 209 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:29,640 - beating the shit out of it. - [Alex] Mm-hm. 210 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,800 You know? Like, windmilling it, just... 211 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,080 OK, let's go for it. 212 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,160 Come on, then, world! 213 00:08:35,930 --> 00:08:37,680 Stand by for a bit of manly. 214 00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:41,370 [applause] 215 00:08:41,370 --> 00:08:42,260 Who are we gonna see first? 216 00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:45,060 We're gonna start with an actual man, Mr Vine. 217 00:08:45,060 --> 00:08:46,060 Here we go. 218 00:08:47,020 --> 00:08:49,410 [funky music begins] 219 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:54,480 ♪ Tasty, yeah ♪ 220 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,360 ♪ Damn, you're tasty ♪ 221 00:08:58,170 --> 00:09:00,770 - ♪ So baby lick your lips ♪ - [van honks] 222 00:09:00,770 --> 00:09:03,020 ♪ And take a bite ♪ 223 00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:05,770 ♪ Baby I'm all yours tonight ♪ 224 00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:09,410 ♪ You're looking so tasty, yeah ♪ 225 00:09:10,220 --> 00:09:13,170 ♪ Damn, you're tasty ♪ 226 00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:15,300 ♪ Ooh, give it to me now ♪ 227 00:09:17,770 --> 00:09:21,970 [cheers and applause] 228 00:09:21,970 --> 00:09:23,670 Fantastic. 229 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:27,020 - It worked for me. - [laughter] 230 00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:30,330 At a time when men are, you know, under a lot of fire, 231 00:09:30,330 --> 00:09:32,640 what a wonderful display of manliness. 232 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,640 Hell of a start. Who's next? 233 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:37,400 The bar is set high. We're gonna move on to Asim and Alice. 234 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:38,420 [Alex] These two. 235 00:09:38,420 --> 00:09:40,140 - Ooh. - Ahh. 236 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,150 [robotic voice] Hi, Asim. 237 00:09:50,150 --> 00:09:52,530 My name is iFeel. 238 00:09:52,530 --> 00:09:54,260 How do you feel? 239 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,910 Oh, hi, iFeel. 240 00:09:55,910 --> 00:09:59,050 Um, I feel... Well, I don't know how I feel. 241 00:10:01,110 --> 00:10:03,040 - You'll be playing the part of Woman. - OK. 242 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:04,770 - I'll be playing the part of Man. - Right. 243 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,840 I'm gonna ask you to do something, 244 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,910 and I'm gonna pay you for it. 245 00:10:08,910 --> 00:10:10,240 - OK. - OK? 246 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:14,150 Can you tell me the words to "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star"? 247 00:10:14,150 --> 00:10:14,860 Yeah. 248 00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:17,680 "Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are." 249 00:10:18,370 --> 00:10:21,510 I feel like everyone wants me to be a big strong man, but... 250 00:10:21,510 --> 00:10:24,130 when I talk about my feelings, everyone just takes the piss. 251 00:10:24,130 --> 00:10:27,200 Never feel bad about feeling, Asim. 252 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:33,480 There's nothing more manly than a man talking about how he feels. 253 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:34,260 True. 254 00:10:34,260 --> 00:10:36,370 Um, OK, I'm gonna pay you... 255 00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:37,680 £20. 256 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:38,400 Thank you. 257 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,570 I'm now gonna do the same for you. 258 00:10:40,570 --> 00:10:44,110 "Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are." 259 00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:45,240 I'm playing the part of Man, 260 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,510 so I'm gonna pay myself all of this, OK? 261 00:10:48,510 --> 00:10:49,160 Yeah. 262 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:53,000 The more we talk, the more we learn. 263 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,080 The more we love. 264 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:57,550 Would you like a hug, Asim? 265 00:10:57,550 --> 00:10:59,840 - Oh, yeah, I'd love a hug. - Hug! 266 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:01,770 Alright, yeah, coming. 267 00:11:01,770 --> 00:11:03,480 - That's a good hug. - Cheers, mate. 268 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:04,440 Hug! 269 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:05,750 Yeah, alright, I'm hugging. 270 00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:06,600 Hug! 271 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,230 Bit needy, isn't he? 272 00:11:08,550 --> 00:11:12,860 So that was my piece, housed here in the Cardboard Box Theatre, 273 00:11:12,860 --> 00:11:15,530 on the manly gender pay gap. 274 00:11:15,530 --> 00:11:20,620 [applause] 275 00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:22,550 I seem to remember finding it funnier, 276 00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:24,550 - but I obviously took it quite seriously. - Yeah, yeah. 277 00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:26,910 - [laughter] - Rightly so. 278 00:11:26,910 --> 00:11:29,330 No, I thought it's good to make a political point. 279 00:11:29,330 --> 00:11:30,620 - Why not? - Oh, absolutely. 280 00:11:30,620 --> 00:11:33,480 - Asim, your affection robot. - Yeah. 281 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,660 Toxic masculinity is quite a horrible thing, 282 00:11:35,660 --> 00:11:39,570 and I'm from, like, you know, a certain place in London, 283 00:11:39,570 --> 00:11:42,000 and we all have to be big men, we've gotta be hard and all... 284 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:42,660 Yeah. 285 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,550 So I thought I'd fuckin' do a robot, right? 286 00:11:44,550 --> 00:11:46,510 - [laughter] - Fuckin', you know what I mean? 287 00:11:46,510 --> 00:11:48,350 Give me a little hug! You know, it's not gay. 288 00:11:48,350 --> 00:11:49,070 Not gay. 289 00:11:49,170 --> 00:11:50,500 [laughter] 290 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,420 Hold that thought. I'm gonna send us into a break now. 291 00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:54,420 BREAK! 292 00:12:03,820 --> 00:12:06,400 Welcome and welcome all over again. 293 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,880 My name's Greg Davies and I am the Taskmaster, 294 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:10,550 and this is Taskmaster. 295 00:12:10,550 --> 00:12:13,350 Before the break, we were... Alex, what were we doing? 296 00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:15,440 There were manly things going on, Greg. 297 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:17,400 Remember, Asim and Alice made, in turn, 298 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,040 a poignant remark on the male psyche 299 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,060 and an important statement on the gender pay gap. 300 00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:22,080 - Yes they did. - Also... 301 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:23,200 Tim Vine took his top off. 302 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,010 [everyone cheers] 303 00:12:25,930 --> 00:12:27,820 We're gonna see the final two together now. 304 00:12:27,820 --> 00:12:30,000 Liza Tarbuck and Russell Howard. 305 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:31,860 Let's see what we can come up with, 306 00:12:31,860 --> 00:12:33,360 'cause we're good at this, aren't we? 307 00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:34,480 Yeah. 308 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:36,110 - You get me a pipe. - [Alex] OK. 309 00:12:36,110 --> 00:12:38,080 And let's meet outside. 310 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:39,480 - [Alex] See you in a minute. - Yep. 311 00:12:48,730 --> 00:12:50,310 Right, let's get this... 312 00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:51,820 - Get this off. - Oh. 313 00:12:51,820 --> 00:12:53,640 I've got some tattoos, you may have noticed. 314 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:54,330 [Alex] Yeah. 315 00:12:54,330 --> 00:12:58,000 Beard, petrol, Clarkson and Top Gear. 316 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,570 So what's your problem? 317 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:00,310 I was thinking-- 318 00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:02,420 DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR MUM! 319 00:13:08,970 --> 00:13:11,360 There you are. I'll take that one out. 320 00:13:11,910 --> 00:13:14,380 Do you want, um... Do you want anything else? 321 00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,170 OK. 322 00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:19,000 Give us a shout if you want anything. 323 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,530 [applause] 324 00:13:22,530 --> 00:13:23,920 I might go back to university. 325 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:27,080 What the fffuck! 326 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,880 Go down the local abattoir, 327 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:31,640 take your own hammer and start taking names. 328 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,480 - Next! - Tinder? 329 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,680 No, no, no, no, no! 330 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,400 If you wanna get a woman, what do you do? 331 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,420 - I've told you before. - Hammer, abattoir. 332 00:13:39,420 --> 00:13:40,840 No, no! 333 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:41,980 You wanna get a woman... 334 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,440 - your best advice, light a fire. - Right. 335 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:47,550 Get what you've killed at the abattoir, 336 00:13:47,550 --> 00:13:49,480 burn that - hopefully - pig. 337 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,420 The scent of the meat will bring the lady to you. 338 00:13:52,420 --> 00:13:54,750 Cook her the meat. Bang, done. 339 00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:55,910 Marriage. 340 00:13:55,910 --> 00:13:58,820 Till, of course, she FUCKS YOUR BROTHER! 341 00:13:58,820 --> 00:14:00,810 [laughter] 342 00:14:02,060 --> 00:14:03,240 - You alright, Russell? - What? 343 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:04,820 - You OK? - Yeah, I'm fine, yeah. 344 00:14:04,820 --> 00:14:07,000 - That felt pretty manly. - [Alex laughs] 345 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,560 Oh, I forgot my tie and all. 346 00:14:10,060 --> 00:14:11,780 [laughter] 347 00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:19,340 [box snoring] 348 00:14:20,710 --> 00:14:23,510 [applause] 349 00:14:23,510 --> 00:14:25,610 - We contrasted perfectly. - Yeah! 350 00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:28,750 Such a different... 351 00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:32,530 Such a different understanding of "manly". 352 00:14:32,530 --> 00:14:35,750 I was on board with all of the stuff, the saw, 353 00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,950 the toplessness, the tattoos. 354 00:14:37,950 --> 00:14:40,550 And then we got onto the taking a hammer to an abattoir. 355 00:14:40,550 --> 00:14:42,110 [laughter] 356 00:14:42,110 --> 00:14:45,360 Listen, I don't know how it works, I'm not the most manly man, but... 357 00:14:45,660 --> 00:14:47,040 I imagine that's what they do. 358 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,510 That's what they do. 359 00:14:48,510 --> 00:14:50,620 Not according to Liza Tarbuck, though. 360 00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:52,910 It was actually quite heartbreaking. 361 00:14:52,910 --> 00:14:55,130 Yeah, good role model, wasn't it? 362 00:14:55,130 --> 00:14:57,530 Of days gone by. Hopefully. 363 00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:58,260 Really? 364 00:14:58,260 --> 00:14:59,480 Well, I don't know. 365 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,400 I've never been a subservient female. 366 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,040 [laughter] 367 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:03,950 Yet. 368 00:15:03,950 --> 00:15:06,000 [laughter] 369 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,570 There were crusts, crisps and mustard on the plate, 370 00:15:08,570 --> 00:15:10,220 and the tea had three sugars in. 371 00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:12,570 No need. No need, but she added the sugars. 372 00:15:12,570 --> 00:15:13,420 Yeah, we really... 373 00:15:13,420 --> 00:15:16,420 Of course, 'cause that's what that pig would want in his tea, isn't it? 374 00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:17,930 - [Greg] Leave him! - [Russell] Yeah. 375 00:15:17,930 --> 00:15:20,110 Leave him, you know what he's up to when you're not looking. 376 00:15:20,110 --> 00:15:22,070 He's down the abattoir with a hammer. 377 00:15:22,070 --> 00:15:23,370 [laughter] 378 00:15:23,370 --> 00:15:24,970 OK, so you've seen them all, Greg. 379 00:15:24,970 --> 00:15:26,200 - Yes, I have. - You've gotta judge them now. 380 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,260 - I know, and it's very difficult. - Mm-hm. 381 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:31,820 What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna give four points 382 00:15:31,820 --> 00:15:33,150 to everybody, 383 00:15:33,150 --> 00:15:37,480 apart from the heartbreak of Liza's broken woman. 384 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:38,350 Aww! 385 00:15:38,350 --> 00:15:40,880 - One point more, five points. - One point more? Oh, five points! 386 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:44,130 - Wow, I thought I was out of the game! - [applause] 387 00:15:44,130 --> 00:15:47,420 OK, I'm ready for the first scoreboard update, please. 388 00:15:47,420 --> 00:15:49,950 It's close today. We have a leader, though, at this point. 389 00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,660 It's a man. It's Russell Howard. 390 00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:52,840 [they gasp] 391 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:54,750 [Alex] With nine points, but it's close. 392 00:15:54,750 --> 00:15:57,260 [applause] 393 00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:59,020 Very good. Now, what I'd like, 394 00:15:59,020 --> 00:16:01,930 now we've done some serious issues on this program, 395 00:16:01,930 --> 00:16:04,530 I'd like something fun. Have you got something fun lined up for me? 396 00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,710 I've got something fun. Are you ready for the fun? 397 00:16:06,710 --> 00:16:09,060 - Yes, please. Bring on the fun. - Here comes the fun. 398 00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:26,230 - [Alex] Hello, Liza. - You there! 399 00:16:26,330 --> 00:16:28,000 - [Alex] Hello, Asim. - Hi. 400 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,530 - [Alex] Oh, hello, Tim. - Hello. 401 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:30,620 [Alex] You've got mail. 402 00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:32,080 We've got mail? 403 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,730 - Shall we? Can we...? - Yeah, let's have a look. 404 00:16:33,730 --> 00:16:35,870 - Liza, why don't you do the honours? - OK. 405 00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:39,840 "Have the most fun." 406 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:43,130 "You have three minutes, at the end of which 407 00:16:43,130 --> 00:16:47,860 you must return to the caravan and await your second task." 408 00:16:47,860 --> 00:16:49,660 "Have the most fun." 409 00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:52,550 "You have three minutes, after which you must return to the caravan, 410 00:16:52,550 --> 00:16:53,730 and await a second task." 411 00:16:53,730 --> 00:16:55,570 - So we're just having fun now? - Having fun? Yes! 412 00:16:55,570 --> 00:16:57,640 Woo-hoo! I'm going to the shed! 413 00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:58,350 [Asim] What about me? 414 00:16:58,350 --> 00:16:59,710 [Tim] Let's get some stuff out the tool shed! 415 00:16:59,710 --> 00:17:02,150 - [Liza] For some fun! - [Tim] The tool shed's got loads of... 416 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,330 - Um... - I'm not really into fun. 417 00:17:04,530 --> 00:17:06,960 [laughter] 418 00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:09,200 [applause] 419 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,410 Two very different responses to this task, there. 420 00:17:12,410 --> 00:17:13,810 Good. Listen, let's get into them. 421 00:17:13,810 --> 00:17:15,770 I wanna see how these guys have fun together. 422 00:17:15,770 --> 00:17:18,170 OK, well, fun is "enjoyment, amusement or light-hearted pleasure". 423 00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:21,130 Let's start with Alice and Russell. 424 00:17:21,130 --> 00:17:22,930 Actually, do you know what I do really love? 425 00:17:22,930 --> 00:17:24,200 - Go. - A bath. 426 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,730 But you love football, so why don't I have a bath while you play football? 427 00:17:26,730 --> 00:17:29,060 That makes sense. So you sit in the bath and I'll chip the ball to you. 428 00:17:29,060 --> 00:17:30,420 And I believe the football's here. 429 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:36,610 If there was hot water in here and I had a glass of wine... 430 00:17:36,610 --> 00:17:38,100 I'll get you some wine. 431 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,150 [Alex] You having fun, Alice? 432 00:17:40,150 --> 00:17:41,710 Umm... 433 00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:43,710 - Oh, now... - Sherry in the bath? 434 00:17:43,710 --> 00:17:45,840 - [she laughs] - That seems to make sense. 435 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,550 There you go. 436 00:17:47,550 --> 00:17:49,710 - Lush, thank you. - That's some sherry in a bath. 437 00:17:49,710 --> 00:17:50,820 Thank you. 438 00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:53,080 This might make somebody really happy. 439 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,200 Maybe a little old lady out there, rubbing herself silly 440 00:17:56,200 --> 00:18:00,770 over the idea of Alice in a bath and me doing keepy-ups. 441 00:18:00,770 --> 00:18:02,170 [Alex] Ten seconds and then you've got to... 442 00:18:02,170 --> 00:18:06,240 And she's home going, "Ah, ah! Oh God, I'm close, I'm close!" 443 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:07,680 [Alex] Five seconds, then back in the caravan. 444 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,800 - We have to get back in the caravan. - Oh... Oh, God! 445 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:13,060 - [Russell] What fun. - [whistle blows] 446 00:18:16,310 --> 00:18:19,330 [applause] 447 00:18:19,330 --> 00:18:20,170 Hi. 448 00:18:20,170 --> 00:18:22,370 - [Alex] You've got mail. - Oh. 449 00:18:22,370 --> 00:18:23,530 What's happening? 450 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:28,000 "Exactly recreate your attempt at the first task." 451 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:31,620 "Most accurate task reconstruction wins. You have three minutes." 452 00:18:31,620 --> 00:18:33,750 "Your time starts when Alex shouts his own name." 453 00:18:33,750 --> 00:18:36,480 [applause] 454 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:40,200 Well, I was totally drawn in by your initial definition of fun. 455 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,220 [Greg] I like a bath. 456 00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:44,240 I like watching Russell Howard keep a football up in the air. 457 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,620 - Those are both fun things for me. - Washing and exercise. 458 00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:47,680 Yeah, lovely. 459 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:50,680 Halfway through, you suggested that there 460 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,660 might be an old woman masturbating. 461 00:18:52,660 --> 00:18:54,640 [laughter] 462 00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,420 Listen, we don't know that there isn't. 463 00:18:56,420 --> 00:18:57,930 No, no, we don't... 464 00:18:57,930 --> 00:18:59,260 And she's here tonight! 465 00:18:59,260 --> 00:19:01,330 [laughter] 466 00:19:01,330 --> 00:19:03,730 OK, let's watch the second part of that, then. 467 00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:05,140 Yes, here we go. 468 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:06,620 [Alex] Alex Horne! 469 00:19:06,620 --> 00:19:09,060 Um, I don't really like having fun. 470 00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:10,400 Oh, but... What did I say? 471 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,280 Oh, actually, I love a bath. 472 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,280 I find baths really fun. 473 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,510 Why don't you have a bath and I'll play football? 474 00:19:16,510 --> 00:19:18,400 - You do keepy... Yeah, OK. - In fact, there's a football in the shed, 475 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:19,430 so I'll go and get that. 476 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,660 [DING] 477 00:19:23,350 --> 00:19:24,780 This would be absolutely perfect 478 00:19:24,780 --> 00:19:27,080 if there was hot water in here and a glass of wine. 479 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,060 Oh, a glass of wine! OK, well, there is some booze, 480 00:19:29,060 --> 00:19:30,650 so I'll go get you some booze. 481 00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:34,310 [Alex] Are you having fun, Alice? 482 00:19:34,310 --> 00:19:36,200 - Umm... - Yes, I am! 483 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,480 - Oh, now... - Sherry in the bath? 484 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,710 - Oh, what is it, sherry? - Sherry. 485 00:19:40,710 --> 00:19:42,620 - Oh, thank you. - [DING] 486 00:19:42,620 --> 00:19:44,310 Oh, that's pungent. 487 00:19:44,310 --> 00:19:45,680 And then I said, well, to be honest, 488 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,400 there's probably a little old lady... 489 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,710 - [laughter] - who's sat at home... 490 00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:56,200 And it's kind of her dream... to watch Alice Levine in a bath... 491 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,640 as I do keepy-ups. 492 00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:59,310 You said something about rubbing-- 493 00:19:59,310 --> 00:20:01,020 - Rubbing herself silly! - [DING] 494 00:20:01,020 --> 00:20:03,880 - over the idea of Alice in bath. - Touching herself over... Agh! 495 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,110 me doing keepy-ups. 496 00:20:05,110 --> 00:20:07,220 She was like, "Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah!" 497 00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:10,530 Yeah, she's sort of sat there going, "Ah, I'm close! I'm close!" 498 00:20:10,530 --> 00:20:14,310 "I'm close! If you could do that thing like that and then volley it!" 499 00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:15,820 Did you go in first or second? 500 00:20:15,820 --> 00:20:17,530 - I went in first. - OK. 501 00:20:17,530 --> 00:20:18,780 [whistle blows] 502 00:20:18,780 --> 00:20:20,860 - [applause] - We did alright! 503 00:20:20,860 --> 00:20:22,020 We did alright. 504 00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:24,460 The accuracy of the recreation was unbelievable, wasn't it? 505 00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:26,050 - Pretty good. - It's incredible, what they did. 506 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,555 I feel so ashamed for being, like, 507 00:20:27,580 --> 00:20:29,620 "You said something about her rubbing herself." 508 00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:32,800 And then you said, "Yeah! Ah, yeah!" 509 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,950 Let's stop all the fun right there, 510 00:20:34,950 --> 00:20:37,560 and, for a while, glaze over for some adverts. 511 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:38,660 See you shortly. 512 00:20:45,950 --> 00:20:50,020 Oh, hi, baby, and welcome back to Taskmaster. 513 00:20:50,020 --> 00:20:52,620 We're in the thick of a fun task with a twist. 514 00:20:52,620 --> 00:20:54,180 Isn't that right, little Alex Horne? 515 00:20:54,180 --> 00:20:56,200 That's right. This is a tricky one, Greg. 516 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:59,680 Alice and Russell have had as much fun as possible for three minutes, 517 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,750 and then opened another task asking them to have it all over again, 518 00:21:02,750 --> 00:21:06,200 replicating the first bout of fun as precisely as possible. 519 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:10,460 Now we're gonna ask Asim, Liza and Tim to have their fun. 520 00:21:10,860 --> 00:21:12,320 [Liza] BMXing! 521 00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:14,630 [Liza] That's fun! 522 00:21:15,350 --> 00:21:16,970 Stashing it in there. 523 00:21:16,970 --> 00:21:18,360 [Asim] So much fun. 524 00:21:19,330 --> 00:21:20,330 [Asim] Are you having fun? 525 00:21:20,330 --> 00:21:21,780 [Tim] This is so much fun, this. 526 00:21:23,860 --> 00:21:25,660 How many minutes have we had, gents? 527 00:21:25,660 --> 00:21:27,600 [Alex] One minute 45 left. 528 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,020 I'll try hooping this over your head. 529 00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:30,880 OK, that's great! 530 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:32,440 - [audience cheers] - [Liza] Back at ya! 531 00:21:33,550 --> 00:21:34,770 Oh, sh... 532 00:21:34,770 --> 00:21:37,400 I don't know how much more fun I can have! 533 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,550 - [Asim] I'm having so much fun. - [Tim] With the fence! 534 00:21:39,550 --> 00:21:41,450 I'm gonna try and hit the mail box. 535 00:21:42,330 --> 00:21:43,200 [Liza] Nice work! 536 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,280 That was immediately fun. 537 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,140 Will you catch my potato? 538 00:21:47,310 --> 00:21:48,420 [Liza] That's fun! 539 00:21:48,420 --> 00:21:49,420 Through the hoop! 540 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:51,900 [laughter] 541 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:53,200 Fun! 542 00:21:54,220 --> 00:21:55,720 [Asim] Fun! 543 00:21:57,530 --> 00:21:59,500 Absolutely mental banter. 544 00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:02,750 - Oh, look, the cushions are loose. - [they laugh] 545 00:22:02,750 --> 00:22:03,440 [whistle blows] 546 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,820 [Alex] Back into the caravan, please. Back in. 547 00:22:05,820 --> 00:22:07,820 - [Asim] Back in, back in. - [Liza] That's fun. 548 00:22:07,820 --> 00:22:09,660 - [Asim] Right. - [Tim laughs] 549 00:22:14,370 --> 00:22:15,770 - Oh. - Hello. 550 00:22:15,770 --> 00:22:17,000 [he laughs] 551 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,840 "Exactly recreate your attempt at the first task." 552 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,680 [applause] 553 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:27,170 Well, everyone's going, "They can't recreate that madness." 554 00:22:27,170 --> 00:22:29,710 There's only one thing I'd like to say before we see it. 555 00:22:29,710 --> 00:22:31,970 What's the best fun you could ever have? 556 00:22:31,970 --> 00:22:33,480 [both] BMXing! 557 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,170 [laughter] 558 00:22:35,170 --> 00:22:37,620 They've got a combined age of 135. 559 00:22:37,620 --> 00:22:38,970 [laughter] 560 00:22:38,970 --> 00:22:41,970 OK, this is their attempt to recreate that. 561 00:22:41,970 --> 00:22:42,770 [Asim] OK. 562 00:22:42,770 --> 00:22:44,480 - [Alex] Alex Horne! - [Liza screams] 563 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,550 [Asim] Let's get our props! Come on! 564 00:22:47,550 --> 00:22:48,550 [Liza] I'm doing that. 565 00:22:49,950 --> 00:22:50,570 [DING] 566 00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:51,670 It's exhau... 567 00:22:52,420 --> 00:22:53,420 That's fun! 568 00:22:54,150 --> 00:22:55,600 Stashing it in there. 569 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:57,030 - [Asim] So much fun. - [DING] 570 00:22:58,460 --> 00:23:00,650 Did I come back here for some fun? 571 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,200 - How many minutes have we had, gents? - [DING] 572 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,440 [Alex] One minute 45 left. 573 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:06,950 I'll try and get this hoop over you. 574 00:23:06,950 --> 00:23:09,220 Oh, OK! OK. 575 00:23:09,220 --> 00:23:09,970 OK, that's... 576 00:23:09,970 --> 00:23:11,040 - [DING] - [they cheer] 577 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,420 [Asim] Fun! 578 00:23:12,620 --> 00:23:14,150 Yeah! 579 00:23:14,150 --> 00:23:16,080 [Liza] I'm running off for a spud. 580 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,280 - I think I got the hoops wrong. - [Asim] So much fun. 581 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:19,460 - The fence! - [DING] 582 00:23:19,460 --> 00:23:21,110 Oh, look, there's cushions in here! 583 00:23:21,110 --> 00:23:23,470 Can you catch my potato? 584 00:23:23,770 --> 00:23:24,860 - [DING] - [Liza] That's fun! 585 00:23:24,860 --> 00:23:26,570 [Liza] Yay! 586 00:23:26,570 --> 00:23:28,660 I'll put the hoop up. Ready? 587 00:23:28,660 --> 00:23:30,110 The hoop? Go! 588 00:23:30,110 --> 00:23:31,330 - [DING] - [they laugh] 589 00:23:31,330 --> 00:23:32,330 Fun! 590 00:23:32,970 --> 00:23:34,830 [Tim] Oh, hang on, there's this here! 591 00:23:36,420 --> 00:23:38,020 - [Liza shrieks] - [DING] 592 00:23:38,020 --> 00:23:40,020 [Liza] Oh, that's fun! 593 00:23:40,020 --> 00:23:41,770 Pass me that, pass me that! 594 00:23:41,770 --> 00:23:43,970 - [Alex] 30 seconds left. - That's so much fun. Look! 595 00:23:43,970 --> 00:23:46,200 It's a hat! Banter! 596 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:47,640 - [DING] - Mental banter. 597 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,350 Woo-hoo! 598 00:23:49,350 --> 00:23:51,270 Guys, this is insane! 599 00:23:52,110 --> 00:23:53,640 - [whistle blows] - [DING] 600 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,600 [applause] 601 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,100 "Will you catch my potato?" 602 00:24:01,060 --> 00:24:03,640 - Pretty fun stuff. - OK, you've got to judge two tasks there. 603 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,110 First of all, which team had the most fun, 604 00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:07,170 and then which team recreated it best. 605 00:24:07,170 --> 00:24:12,040 I would say both teams recreated the fun they were having fairly accurately. 606 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:12,640 OK, then. 607 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:14,950 So I would give them both the same points. 608 00:24:14,950 --> 00:24:16,300 - How many points? - Three. 609 00:24:16,300 --> 00:24:17,240 Yes, OK. 610 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,000 No, four. I'll give them four out of five. 611 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,220 - Five, maybe? - Yeah. 612 00:24:20,220 --> 00:24:21,310 - Five? - Five. 613 00:24:21,310 --> 00:24:23,220 [laughter] 614 00:24:23,220 --> 00:24:24,570 Who had the most fun? 615 00:24:24,570 --> 00:24:28,170 Well, I think both teams had a lot of fun doing that. 616 00:24:28,170 --> 00:24:30,820 How many points for Alice and Russell, and how many for the others? 617 00:24:30,820 --> 00:24:32,820 Two for Alice and Russell, three for the others. 618 00:24:32,820 --> 00:24:35,080 - There, done. - OK, you're the boss. Here we go. 619 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,440 [applause] 620 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:41,440 On we go. Can we have something arty and edible, please? 621 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:44,200 OK, how about some art made with your favourite food? 622 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:45,130 [Greg gasps] 623 00:24:45,130 --> 00:24:46,430 - [laughter] - Yeah? 624 00:24:57,750 --> 00:24:58,750 Hi, cherub. 625 00:24:59,970 --> 00:25:01,840 - Hi. - [Alex] Oh, hello, Liza. 626 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:02,840 Oh, God. 627 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:05,240 Well, it's probably not what I think it is, is it? 628 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:06,830 - Is it squirty cream? - [Alex] Yes. 629 00:25:06,830 --> 00:25:08,380 Oh, then it is what I think it is. 630 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:13,000 "Make the best art using the entire contents 631 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,240 of this can of squirty cream." 632 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:18,070 "You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now." 633 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:20,600 Hmm. 634 00:25:22,370 --> 00:25:23,900 Oh, that's a lovely start, innit? 635 00:25:24,510 --> 00:25:26,350 I share a birthday with Magritte. 636 00:25:26,350 --> 00:25:27,510 [Alex] How old is Magritte? 637 00:25:27,510 --> 00:25:28,910 - He's dead now. - Oh. 638 00:25:28,910 --> 00:25:31,730 OK, I think I've got an idea. I'll be right back. 639 00:25:31,730 --> 00:25:33,570 I'm gonna have a look in the shed. 640 00:25:34,620 --> 00:25:36,480 [laughter] 641 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:40,860 [applause] 642 00:25:40,860 --> 00:25:42,800 Classic first stop for art, right? 643 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:43,660 Into the shed? 644 00:25:43,660 --> 00:25:44,570 Into the shed, yeah, yeah. 645 00:25:44,570 --> 00:25:46,300 So we're gonna see all five of them making their art 646 00:25:46,300 --> 00:25:48,350 in their own different ways. Here we go. 647 00:25:48,350 --> 00:25:49,510 So... 648 00:25:49,510 --> 00:25:51,600 this is not just a piece of art, 649 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:55,030 but it's also a bit of social commentary. 650 00:25:56,570 --> 00:25:59,080 Oh, what if I run out cream? 651 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,710 Right, I want you on the canvas. 652 00:26:01,710 --> 00:26:02,480 Just draping? 653 00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,100 Yeah, sort of sprawled as if something terrible has happened. 654 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:14,040 As long as we get the outline, I think it's fine. 655 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:15,330 Yeah, nice, nice. 656 00:26:15,330 --> 00:26:19,220 Yep, and let's have this arm sort of... a bit more flail-y. 657 00:26:28,620 --> 00:26:30,010 [laughter] 658 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,280 Mmm. 659 00:26:40,820 --> 00:26:44,970 Oh, look at that dirty sod flipping off there. Look at it, oh-ho! 660 00:26:44,970 --> 00:26:46,720 This is proper art now. 661 00:27:01,910 --> 00:27:03,220 I think I'm done. 662 00:27:04,170 --> 00:27:05,330 I'd buy that. 663 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:08,700 I think it's finished. 664 00:27:09,260 --> 00:27:10,880 Global warming. 665 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:12,230 Time's running out. 666 00:27:13,110 --> 00:27:14,410 Oh, God. 667 00:27:17,060 --> 00:27:19,220 [Liza] It's got a life of its own! 668 00:27:19,220 --> 00:27:20,800 [she laughs] 669 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,620 [applause] 670 00:27:23,620 --> 00:27:25,950 Let's see Asim's and Tim's. Here we go. 671 00:27:25,950 --> 00:27:26,950 [Alex] There they are. 672 00:27:27,620 --> 00:27:30,040 Well, you're the artist. You'd better talk us through your thinking. 673 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:31,820 A powerful social statement? 674 00:27:31,820 --> 00:27:34,150 Yeah, global warming, you know, just... 675 00:27:34,150 --> 00:27:36,570 It was snowing two weeks ago in spring or whatever it is. 676 00:27:36,570 --> 00:27:37,860 - [Greg] Yeah. - [Asim] It's mental. 677 00:27:37,860 --> 00:27:40,750 I know, I came out onto my balcony and saw the snow, 678 00:27:40,750 --> 00:27:42,620 and I thought, "Oh, this is like..." 679 00:27:42,620 --> 00:27:45,060 "This is like putting a giraffe in a bell jar with some..." 680 00:27:45,060 --> 00:27:46,530 [laughter] 681 00:27:46,530 --> 00:27:48,680 - "...cream." - [Asim] You know what I mean? 682 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:50,710 That's some pretty powerful social commentary. 683 00:27:50,710 --> 00:27:53,240 Tim, the floor's with you. ER? 684 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:56,630 [Tim] ER, that's... The name of that piece of art is... 685 00:27:56,930 --> 00:28:00,440 - Her Majesty the Cream. - [scattered laughter] 686 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,330 - 'Cause it's ER. - [laughter] 687 00:28:03,330 --> 00:28:04,840 [Greg] Deserved more. 688 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:08,880 - Her Majesty the Cream. - [laughter] 689 00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:10,840 I don't think they've heard, actually. Her Majesty... 690 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:14,510 [laughter and applause] 691 00:28:14,510 --> 00:28:16,200 It's really good. 692 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:18,570 [laughter] 693 00:28:18,570 --> 00:28:19,640 Uh, who's next? 694 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:21,560 We can see Liza and Russell's. 695 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:24,910 [laughter] 696 00:28:24,910 --> 00:28:27,880 - I think let's have a look at Liza's first. - OK, I'll get Liza's up first. 697 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:29,870 [Greg] You're the artist. Talk us through it. 698 00:28:29,895 --> 00:28:31,660 [Liza] I've got a bit of a thing about gaffer. 699 00:28:31,660 --> 00:28:34,820 So, yeah, just... Use the cream, do that, did it. You know. 700 00:28:34,820 --> 00:28:35,880 [Alex] You called it, er... 701 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,750 - The name was Once. - [Liza] Yeah. 702 00:28:37,750 --> 00:28:39,210 And you said it wasn't a happy piece. 703 00:28:39,210 --> 00:28:41,410 No, it's not. It's troublesome, isn't it? 704 00:28:42,110 --> 00:28:43,420 Why is it called Once? 705 00:28:43,420 --> 00:28:45,000 Well, that's not how it started. 706 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,000 So the whippy cream that was once there 707 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,060 was actually predominantly on the floor 708 00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:52,910 'cause it had dripped in a slightly filthy way down the brickwork. 709 00:28:52,910 --> 00:28:54,420 [Alex] Mm-hm. Do you want to see Russell's? 710 00:28:54,420 --> 00:28:55,570 [Greg] Yes, I do. 711 00:28:55,570 --> 00:28:58,950 [Alex] This is before, and then when the body was taken away, 712 00:28:58,970 --> 00:29:01,040 the remaining picture looked like this. 713 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:02,310 [Alice] Oh, that's good! 714 00:29:02,310 --> 00:29:03,750 - [Greg] Oh, it's quite haunting. - [Russell] Yeah. 715 00:29:03,750 --> 00:29:05,550 Can you remember what I called it? 716 00:29:05,550 --> 00:29:07,060 - My Balls? - No. 717 00:29:07,060 --> 00:29:09,220 You called it The Diabetic Crime Scene. 718 00:29:09,220 --> 00:29:09,910 That's it. 719 00:29:09,910 --> 00:29:13,060 [Russell] Your two hobbies were diving and ukulele-playing. 720 00:29:13,060 --> 00:29:15,330 You were about to enjoy the day to end all days, 721 00:29:15,330 --> 00:29:18,220 and some swine came along and chopped your nuts off. 722 00:29:18,420 --> 00:29:21,060 It's like having the audio guide in the gallery. 723 00:29:21,060 --> 00:29:22,910 - [Russell] Yeah. - [laughter] 724 00:29:22,910 --> 00:29:24,600 - One left to see. - Yeah. 725 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:28,530 - Oh, God. - Alice Levine's squirty cream picture. 726 00:29:28,530 --> 00:29:30,640 [Alex] She used coffee granules to make it brown. 727 00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:33,770 She's the only one who affected the colour by mixing in another agent. 728 00:29:33,770 --> 00:29:36,070 Oh, my God. She's at the vanguard of a new movement. 729 00:29:36,070 --> 00:29:37,640 [laughter] 730 00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,570 I don't think I'll be appreciated in my lifetime. 731 00:29:39,570 --> 00:29:41,370 You will not. Tragic. 732 00:29:41,370 --> 00:29:43,000 Talk us through it. It's a beautiful piece. 733 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:46,770 [Alice] So, I worried about the subjectivity of art, 734 00:29:46,770 --> 00:29:48,200 and what you would consider the best. 735 00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:48,860 Jesus. 736 00:29:48,860 --> 00:29:53,280 And so I copied the Mona Lisa. Can't you tell? 737 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:57,870 [Alice] Although it does look a tiny bit like Guy Fawkes, but that's OK. 738 00:29:58,530 --> 00:30:00,750 Yeah, you were the only person to use a paintbrush, which is quite... 739 00:30:00,750 --> 00:30:04,400 That's got to get her big art points. I'm not an expert. 740 00:30:05,420 --> 00:30:07,020 Well, do you want to see all five next to each other? 741 00:30:07,020 --> 00:30:08,430 - Yes, I do, please. - Then you can make a decision. 742 00:30:08,430 --> 00:30:12,000 Before you mark it, can I just say again, Her Majesty the Cream. 743 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:13,770 [laughter] 744 00:30:13,770 --> 00:30:15,510 [Greg] OK, shall I make some quick decisions? 745 00:30:15,510 --> 00:30:17,220 [Alex] OK, then. In five place, with one point... 746 00:30:17,220 --> 00:30:18,260 Thank you. 747 00:30:18,260 --> 00:30:20,000 [laughter] 748 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,150 One minute, I'm just gonna score these very quickly. 749 00:30:22,150 --> 00:30:24,080 - Global warming in fifth. - [Alex] OK. 750 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:27,060 [Greg] I really enjoyed Her Majesty the Cream. 751 00:30:27,060 --> 00:30:30,000 [he groans] But I'm putting it in fourth. 752 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,970 - And then, um, chopped-off balls. - OK, three points to Russell. 753 00:30:33,970 --> 00:30:37,280 And it is, it's Liza's it's haunting me. It's going in first place, 754 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:39,130 and the Mona Crema in second. 755 00:30:39,130 --> 00:30:41,140 [Alex] OK, so five points to Liza Tarbuck. 756 00:30:41,140 --> 00:30:43,970 - [applause] - Well, I can't believe it. 757 00:30:43,970 --> 00:30:47,220 Wonderful artwork. Alex, have we got time for one more? 758 00:30:47,220 --> 00:30:49,510 We do. It's a quick, it's an easy one. It's this one. 759 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,450 - Hello, Alex. - Oh, hello, Russell. 760 00:30:58,750 --> 00:31:00,070 Fiver under a pint. 761 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,600 "Remove the £5 note from under the pint..." 762 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:08,660 "without spilling any of the pint." 763 00:31:08,660 --> 00:31:10,460 "You may not touch the pint glass." 764 00:31:10,460 --> 00:31:12,620 "If you spill any of the pint, you are disqualified." 765 00:31:12,620 --> 00:31:14,010 From the whole thing? 766 00:31:14,770 --> 00:31:17,100 "Fastest wins." 767 00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:18,540 Oh, is this one of those... 768 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:20,710 boys' tricks? 769 00:31:20,710 --> 00:31:23,310 - [Alex] Does it say your time starts now? - Oh, time starts now, yeah. 770 00:31:23,310 --> 00:31:24,420 OK. 771 00:31:24,420 --> 00:31:27,220 [applause] 772 00:31:27,220 --> 00:31:29,260 - Pretty straightforward. - You're not allowed to touch the glass. 773 00:31:29,260 --> 00:31:31,550 You're not allowed to touch the glass, but you've got to get it off the £5. 774 00:31:31,550 --> 00:31:33,320 [Alex] We're gonna start with Alice and Russell. 775 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:36,070 Oh, God. [she laughs] 776 00:31:39,970 --> 00:31:41,910 So if I drank all of the pint... 777 00:31:41,910 --> 00:31:43,730 but I'd be touching the pint glass. 778 00:31:43,730 --> 00:31:45,520 Oh, unless I drank it with a straw. 779 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:51,970 Christ. 780 00:31:51,970 --> 00:31:54,880 I can't drink all of that against the clock. 781 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:55,880 I'll be sick. 782 00:31:57,330 --> 00:31:58,770 That tastes like truancy. 783 00:31:58,970 --> 00:32:00,860 [laughter] 784 00:32:01,060 --> 00:32:02,900 Hmm. Hmm. 785 00:32:11,020 --> 00:32:13,710 [laughter] 786 00:32:13,710 --> 00:32:16,000 I know what you're thinking, that it's not gonna work. 787 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,540 But there's no evidence to that effect. 788 00:32:31,370 --> 00:32:32,510 [Alex] Thank you, Russell. 789 00:32:32,510 --> 00:32:33,700 [he exhales] 790 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:42,880 [Alex] Would have been quick, wouldn't it? 791 00:32:43,950 --> 00:32:47,640 [applause] 792 00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:49,260 - Not terrible attempts. - No. 793 00:32:49,260 --> 00:32:51,400 No, Russell took one minute and 19. 794 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:53,030 Um, Alice? 795 00:32:53,030 --> 00:32:56,330 Bit slow, minor breakdown halfway through when you decided 796 00:32:56,330 --> 00:32:58,440 to start using a cup that was bigger than the glass. 797 00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:00,260 - Yes. Yes. - [laughter] 798 00:33:00,260 --> 00:33:02,950 It was pretty sound up to that point. Give me some statistics. 799 00:33:02,950 --> 00:33:05,750 It was three minutes 27. There was a hint of spillage. 800 00:33:05,750 --> 00:33:07,730 - Just a little bit. - What?! 801 00:33:07,730 --> 00:33:10,260 Alex, you're such a snitch. 802 00:33:10,260 --> 00:33:12,150 I mean, it is my job. And, well... 803 00:33:12,150 --> 00:33:14,150 I've just put it in a little replay package. 804 00:33:14,150 --> 00:33:15,150 Are you fff... 805 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:18,400 Just 'cause if there's any spillage, you're not allowed... 806 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:20,510 I've got so much dirt on you. Just remember that. 807 00:33:20,510 --> 00:33:22,640 Well, you can judge whether or not this is a spillage. 808 00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,360 Hmm. Hmm. 809 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,800 Why have you done a full Maclntyre Undercover on me? 810 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:42,920 Yeah, thing is, I had to clean it up, so... 811 00:33:43,420 --> 00:33:44,950 It's your job! 812 00:33:44,950 --> 00:33:47,030 You should be ashamed of yourself, woman. 813 00:33:48,130 --> 00:33:49,970 [laughter] 814 00:33:49,970 --> 00:33:53,270 Part three is finished. It's done, it's over, through. Bye-bye. 815 00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,020 Oh, hello. Welcome back to Taskmaster, 816 00:34:05,020 --> 00:34:07,000 where some truly thought-provoking items 817 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,640 are soon to be claimed by one of our five contestants. 818 00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:11,350 But for now, back to business. 819 00:34:11,350 --> 00:34:15,310 That's right, and this business is trying to pinch a fiver from beneath a pint, 820 00:34:15,310 --> 00:34:16,680 but the pint can't be moved. 821 00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:18,880 Alice and Russell used a straw technique. 822 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:22,750 What technique will our next two, Tim and Asim, use? 823 00:34:22,950 --> 00:34:24,060 Let's see. 824 00:34:24,260 --> 00:34:25,260 OK. 825 00:34:29,950 --> 00:34:32,370 Now, is there anything... What do they have? Things here that... 826 00:34:32,370 --> 00:34:34,600 Look, I don't know what the hell that is, but... 827 00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:36,950 This is not me touching the pint glass. 828 00:34:36,950 --> 00:34:38,570 Look, I'm not touching the pint glass, look. 829 00:34:38,570 --> 00:34:42,120 But this is just to anchor the thing down, you see? Like that. 830 00:34:42,420 --> 00:34:43,660 So, you... Now, you... 831 00:34:43,660 --> 00:34:46,860 Actually, no, that's making it... 832 00:34:46,860 --> 00:34:49,910 I now don't want to spill any of the pint. 833 00:34:49,910 --> 00:34:54,120 [laughing] So I've transferred the pint, slightly, onto this thing. 834 00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:00,660 Oh, I just realised the new £5 notes are waterproof, aren't they? 835 00:35:00,660 --> 00:35:02,120 I thought it'd sog up and... 836 00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:04,800 OK, I don't think that's done anything. 837 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,180 "Remove the £5 note from under the pint..." 838 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,470 Yeah, I may not touch the pint. Oh, easy. OK. 839 00:35:17,220 --> 00:35:18,220 There we go. 840 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:20,910 Oh, I should have done this earlier, you see. 841 00:35:20,910 --> 00:35:23,330 Aaand... stop! 842 00:35:23,330 --> 00:35:26,480 [applause] 843 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,930 What was the plan if the fiver had "sogged up"? 844 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:32,710 It would've just ripped and then, like... 845 00:35:32,710 --> 00:35:34,150 What, you were gonna tear it round? 846 00:35:34,150 --> 00:35:36,260 Yeah, just tear it round and just, like, I dunno. 847 00:35:36,260 --> 00:35:38,200 It's the new bloody £5 notes, innit? 848 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:41,330 They're like... plastic, waterproof. Bloody Brexit, innit? 849 00:35:41,330 --> 00:35:44,400 - [laughter] - Bloody is. It's all Brexit, mate. 850 00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:45,190 Did you understand...? 851 00:35:45,190 --> 00:35:47,330 It was gonna rip round it, but it's still underneath it...? 852 00:35:47,330 --> 00:35:49,330 [Greg] There's still gonna be a circle of £5 note there. 853 00:35:49,330 --> 00:35:52,150 I don't know. I was just fucking winging it, wasn't I? 854 00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:54,440 It was very difficult to tell if you spilt any, 'cause it was all wet. 855 00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:55,820 Nah, no spillage, mate. 856 00:35:55,820 --> 00:35:57,330 I don't think there was any spillage with mine. 857 00:35:57,330 --> 00:36:00,810 Don't think so, despite you putting the revolting brush thing in it. 858 00:36:00,810 --> 00:36:01,930 [laughter] 859 00:36:01,930 --> 00:36:05,550 I don't what that was. I think it belonged to the landlord. 860 00:36:05,550 --> 00:36:07,500 He had one tooth and just used... 861 00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:09,530 Do you want the timings? 862 00:36:09,530 --> 00:36:11,860 Yeah, come on, let's get on with it. Timings, yeah. 863 00:36:11,860 --> 00:36:16,110 So, Tim. Took him two minutes, 54 seconds. 864 00:36:16,110 --> 00:36:17,230 God, that's rubbish. 865 00:36:17,230 --> 00:36:18,950 So that's nearly three minutes to push a pint off a note. 866 00:36:18,950 --> 00:36:19,780 OK. 867 00:36:19,780 --> 00:36:21,860 Remember, Russell took one minute 19. 868 00:36:21,860 --> 00:36:24,060 Asim took one minute 20. 869 00:36:24,060 --> 00:36:25,860 [they gasp] 870 00:36:25,860 --> 00:36:27,080 Ooh. 871 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,280 But it feels like there's a good time out there still. 872 00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:31,480 You should be able to do it in under a minute. So do you want to see Liza? 873 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,220 - Yes, please. - OK. 874 00:36:33,220 --> 00:36:35,360 So the thing is just to really pull it. 875 00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:39,180 Am I quick enough? 876 00:36:41,660 --> 00:36:43,380 Am I quick enough? 877 00:36:45,020 --> 00:36:46,570 - No. - [audience] Aww! 878 00:36:46,570 --> 00:36:48,430 [she laughs] Thank you. 879 00:36:48,530 --> 00:36:50,730 [applause] 880 00:36:50,930 --> 00:36:52,300 Moving it on. 881 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:54,260 "Can I do it? No." 882 00:36:54,260 --> 00:36:56,060 [they laugh] 883 00:36:56,060 --> 00:36:58,670 - [Alex] She was quick. She was very quick. - [Greg] She was really quick. 884 00:36:58,670 --> 00:37:00,120 So what does that mean? Give us some... 885 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:01,950 Well, I'm afraid it's zero points for Alice and Liza, 886 00:37:01,950 --> 00:37:03,640 who both spilt so much beer. 887 00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,070 [Greg] Ooh, so much. 888 00:37:07,020 --> 00:37:08,780 You messy pups! 889 00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:10,440 Tim gets three points in third, 890 00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:12,220 then Asim in second place with four points. 891 00:37:12,220 --> 00:37:13,950 Russell gets five points for winning the task! 892 00:37:13,950 --> 00:37:18,060 [cheers and applause] 893 00:37:18,060 --> 00:37:20,680 Now, Alex, may we please see the scoreboard? 894 00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:25,420 Yes, it means Alice and Asim are adrift with 18 points, 895 00:37:25,420 --> 00:37:26,860 but the other three are still in it, 896 00:37:26,860 --> 00:37:29,260 and Russell is still in the lead with 24 points. 897 00:37:29,260 --> 00:37:30,310 [Liza] Oh, hello. 898 00:37:30,310 --> 00:37:34,950 [applause] 899 00:37:34,950 --> 00:37:36,480 OK, well, here's something novel. 900 00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:39,460 Would you please all follow me up to the stage... 901 00:37:39,460 --> 00:37:42,050 - What? - for the final task of the show? 902 00:37:46,770 --> 00:37:50,000 [applause] 903 00:37:51,070 --> 00:37:52,160 This is weird. 904 00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:55,400 - Mm-hm. Welcome to the stage. - Yeah, I like it. 905 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,170 Mm-hm. Who do you want to read the task? 906 00:37:57,170 --> 00:37:58,640 I'd Russell to read the task, if that's alright. 907 00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:00,200 - Russell Howard? - Yes, Russell Howard. 908 00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:01,950 - There we go, Russell. - That's alright, mate. 909 00:38:01,950 --> 00:38:03,170 "When tapped on the shoulder, 910 00:38:03,170 --> 00:38:05,750 shake hands with the Taskmaster - that's Greg - 911 00:38:05,750 --> 00:38:07,460 without revealing your identities." 912 00:38:07,460 --> 00:38:09,530 "You may not speak during the task." 913 00:38:09,530 --> 00:38:12,640 "Everyone must shake hands with the Taskmaster once, 914 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:14,660 for at least two seconds." 915 00:38:14,660 --> 00:38:17,770 "If the Taskmaster guesses your identity, you are eliminated." 916 00:38:17,770 --> 00:38:20,800 "The task continues until we have a winner." 917 00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:22,240 - Thank you, Russell. - Pleasure. 918 00:38:22,240 --> 00:38:24,130 [Alex] If you want to pop your blindfold on now, Greg. 919 00:38:24,130 --> 00:38:26,040 Consider it popped. 920 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,130 I'm just gonna run through how it's gonna work, OK? 921 00:38:28,130 --> 00:38:29,900 'Cause you're gonna be randomly selected, 922 00:38:31,310 --> 00:38:34,130 and then Greg will put his hand forward. 923 00:38:34,130 --> 00:38:36,770 You come forward and you shake his hand. 924 00:38:36,770 --> 00:38:39,340 For at least two seconds. 925 00:38:41,460 --> 00:38:43,780 Oh, I thought this was gonna be so easy. 926 00:38:45,660 --> 00:38:46,840 [laughter] 927 00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:48,510 You can go-- I can go now. 928 00:38:48,510 --> 00:38:50,510 And then Greg will guess who it is. 929 00:38:50,510 --> 00:38:52,750 After all five people have shaken, 930 00:38:52,750 --> 00:38:54,710 I will say how many people he's got right. 931 00:38:54,710 --> 00:38:57,240 The people he's got wrong have to go and sit on the elimination bench. 932 00:38:57,240 --> 00:38:59,170 Greg, whose hand did you just shake? 933 00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:01,040 Oh... Now, that's interesting, 934 00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,130 'cause I thought that was you demonstrating, 935 00:39:03,130 --> 00:39:04,460 so I think it was your hand. 936 00:39:04,460 --> 00:39:05,750 - Good. - Was it? 937 00:39:05,750 --> 00:39:07,200 [laughter] 938 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:09,960 I think that shows he is beatable. 939 00:39:10,570 --> 00:39:11,970 [laughter] 940 00:39:11,970 --> 00:39:14,370 So, Greg will be the only one talking throughout the entire task. 941 00:39:14,370 --> 00:39:17,210 I'm gonna walk behind you. If I tap you on your shoulder, you approach. 942 00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:25,110 [laughter] 943 00:39:25,110 --> 00:39:26,870 Very clever. 944 00:39:27,970 --> 00:39:30,370 Greg, whose hand did you just shake? 945 00:39:30,370 --> 00:39:31,280 Asim's. 946 00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:32,970 - Oh, for fuck's... - [laughter] 947 00:39:32,970 --> 00:39:35,570 So you stay there. No talking, try not to give it away. 948 00:39:35,570 --> 00:39:36,570 Sorry. 949 00:39:36,770 --> 00:39:38,700 [Alex laughs] 950 00:39:39,710 --> 00:39:41,450 [he laughs] 951 00:39:46,020 --> 00:39:47,440 [Greg] Oh, I don't like it. 952 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:49,140 [laughter] 953 00:39:49,910 --> 00:39:51,530 Oh! Oh... 954 00:39:51,530 --> 00:39:52,600 Yeah, nice. 955 00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:54,350 - Very nice. - [Alex] OK, that's enough shaking. 956 00:39:54,350 --> 00:39:56,310 It's Russell. 957 00:39:56,310 --> 00:39:59,620 - [laughter] - Again, no reactions, please. 958 00:39:59,620 --> 00:40:01,670 [laughter] 959 00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:06,030 [laughter] 960 00:40:07,530 --> 00:40:08,770 Oh, no! 961 00:40:08,770 --> 00:40:10,420 [laughter] 962 00:40:10,420 --> 00:40:13,000 [laughing] Oh, no! 963 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,530 Ugh. Oh, God. 964 00:40:15,530 --> 00:40:16,820 [Alex] Whose hand, Greg? 965 00:40:16,820 --> 00:40:17,750 Tim Vine. 966 00:40:17,750 --> 00:40:19,170 - Argh! - [Alex] Shh! 967 00:40:19,170 --> 00:40:23,120 [laughter and applause] 968 00:40:26,460 --> 00:40:27,600 Oh, ffff-- 969 00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:30,550 [Alex] Ooh, now was that at least two seconds? 970 00:40:30,550 --> 00:40:33,080 Oh, OK. OK, it's been given. 971 00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:34,550 Liza Tarbuck. 972 00:40:34,950 --> 00:40:36,410 [Alex] There is one shake remaining. 973 00:40:42,460 --> 00:40:43,570 Ooh! 974 00:40:43,570 --> 00:40:47,620 [laughter] 975 00:40:48,460 --> 00:40:52,210 [laughter] 976 00:40:53,930 --> 00:40:56,720 Oh, no. The breathing's awful. Oh! 977 00:40:56,720 --> 00:41:00,110 [laughter] 978 00:41:01,020 --> 00:41:03,220 - Whose hand was that, Greg? - Russell Howard's. 979 00:41:04,150 --> 00:41:06,370 Please could the people who he got right 980 00:41:06,370 --> 00:41:08,230 go now to the elimination bench? 981 00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:11,040 [laughter] 982 00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:12,260 I think we have a winner. 983 00:41:12,260 --> 00:41:14,260 [laughter] 984 00:41:14,260 --> 00:41:15,780 - Can I...? - [Alex] OK. 985 00:41:17,370 --> 00:41:19,230 [Alex] Alice Levine is the winner! 986 00:41:20,110 --> 00:41:21,760 Was it that one? Argh! 987 00:41:23,420 --> 00:41:24,750 Oh, that was horrible. 988 00:41:24,750 --> 00:41:26,820 Let's all make our way back down to the stage 989 00:41:26,820 --> 00:41:28,850 and we'll find out the final scores. 990 00:41:31,970 --> 00:41:34,150 [applause] 991 00:41:34,150 --> 00:41:36,310 Good. Well, that was pretty strange. 992 00:41:36,310 --> 00:41:37,750 Glad to be back in the throne. 993 00:41:37,750 --> 00:41:38,970 Can I have my snack, please, Alex? 994 00:41:38,970 --> 00:41:40,060 Oh, can I have my snack, please, Ian? 995 00:41:40,060 --> 00:41:41,450 - Certainly, sir. - Mm-hm. 996 00:41:47,460 --> 00:41:48,680 Hm. 997 00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:50,030 What happened to the scores? 998 00:41:50,930 --> 00:41:52,020 [laughter] 999 00:41:52,020 --> 00:41:54,200 Interesting tactics in the handshake. 1000 00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:59,000 Asim very cleverly disguised his hand using his very distinctive jacket. 1001 00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,170 [laughter] 1002 00:42:01,170 --> 00:42:03,550 But in the end, Alice won by having a hand 1003 00:42:03,550 --> 00:42:05,300 that felt like Russell Howard's hand. 1004 00:42:06,460 --> 00:42:09,460 Well, that means... I can tell you the series scores, first of all. 1005 00:42:09,460 --> 00:42:10,680 Very tight at the bottom. 1006 00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:11,680 - Yeah. - [Asim] Ooh. 1007 00:42:12,710 --> 00:42:14,970 - Thanks very much. - [Asim] Cheers. 1008 00:42:14,970 --> 00:42:18,060 Asim on 58, Alice on 60 and Tim on 61. 1009 00:42:18,060 --> 00:42:21,300 In the 70s, Russell on 72, Liza on 78. 1010 00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:23,330 Blimey! 1011 00:42:23,330 --> 00:42:24,620 [applause] 1012 00:42:24,620 --> 00:42:26,550 [Liza] There's gonna be a fight. 1013 00:42:26,550 --> 00:42:29,060 This has been our closest episode by far. 1014 00:42:29,060 --> 00:42:31,200 Just six points separating all five of them. 1015 00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:33,330 Asim at the bottom, but at the top, 1016 00:42:33,330 --> 00:42:34,620 Mr Russell Howard! 1017 00:42:34,620 --> 00:42:36,320 - [they cheer] - With 24 points! 1018 00:42:36,420 --> 00:42:38,910 [cheers and applause] 1019 00:42:38,910 --> 00:42:41,430 What? Whaaat?! 1020 00:42:42,350 --> 00:42:45,150 Would you believe it? With his first victory 1021 00:42:45,150 --> 00:42:47,170 - of the series thus far. - [Russell] It is. 1022 00:42:47,170 --> 00:42:48,710 Russell Howard has won. 1023 00:42:48,710 --> 00:42:51,820 Please go and collect your thought-provoking material! 1024 00:42:51,820 --> 00:42:54,370 [cheers and applause] 1025 00:42:54,370 --> 00:42:56,550 So, what have we learnt today? 1026 00:42:56,550 --> 00:42:58,000 We've learnt what a man is. 1027 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,040 A man sits watching the golf, 1028 00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,260 stands around topless at the side of a road, 1029 00:43:02,260 --> 00:43:04,350 doesn't talk about his feelings often enough, 1030 00:43:04,350 --> 00:43:07,570 and gets paid way too much before smacking a cow with a hammer. 1031 00:43:07,570 --> 00:43:12,420 But, for now, we need to clap like lunatics one more time for tonight's winner, 1032 00:43:12,420 --> 00:43:15,720 the brilliant Russell Howard. Well done to him! 1033 00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:19,810 And thank you for watching. Good night! 1034 00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:26,750 [subtitles by tribbletown]