1
00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:09,840
Stella!
2
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:16,600
Hold it.
3
00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:18,040
What?
4
00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:23,040
Yes!
5
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,840
Hello! Thank you very much.
6
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:41,280
I'm Greg Davies and this is
Taskmaster. Five mighty warriors
7
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,400
are battling it out to win a prize
that none of them want
8
00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:47,000
but absolutely have to have -
it's contractual.
9
00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:50,160
They have to take it home and give
it a lovely kiss every night.
10
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:55,520
Let's meet them now. They are
titans. They are David Baddiel!
11
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:57,960
Ed Gamble!
12
00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,480
Jo Brand!
13
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:01,320
Katy Wix!
14
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,040
And Rose Matafeo!
15
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,600
And here's a guy who, without hair,
16
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:10,520
would be as physically featureless
as one sausage.
17
00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:13,000
It's little Alex Horne!
18
00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:16,960
Thank you.
19
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,480
Hello. Hello. How are you?
20
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:22,520
Today, I'm good,
I'm full of ambition and optimism.
21
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,680
Good.
I've come up with a new TV show. OK.
22
00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:28,000
But I'd like you to be in it.
Oh. If that's all right?
23
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,040
Will I be presenting? Do you want to
present it? Let's see.
24
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,856
I don't know what the concept... All
I've got is a theme tune so far. OK.
25
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:37,576
'Would you like to here the theme tune? Yes,
please. My friend wrote it and it sounds like this.
26
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:39,680
♪ It's the Alex Horne Show,
it's the Alex Horne Show
27
00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:41,896
'♪ It's the Alex Horne Show,
it's the Alex Horne Show. ♪
28
00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:44,200
Oh. With Greg Mavies.
29
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:47,120
That's what he did.
With Greg Mavies?
30
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,680
If you wanna change that,
we can change that. No, no.
31
00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,720
No, I'm good with Mavies.
32
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,840
Thanks, Alex. OK!
33
00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,280
Can you tell me what the
prize category is, please?
34
00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:02,480
Of course I can. We've asked them to
bring in the best thing from a shed.
35
00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,720
Oh. For example, I think milk
is the best thing
36
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,120
and I keep my milk in a shed,
so I'd probably bring in milk.
37
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,760
Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!
Five points.
38
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,200
Incredibly, ladies and gentlemen,
all of that was on autocue.
39
00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:18,560
OK! Hello, Jo Brand. Hi, Greg.
40
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,880
What's the best thing you've
brought in from a shed?
41
00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:24,400
It's a beautiful sculpture.
Mm. Here it is.
42
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:33,240
I'm sort of nervous to ask you
who it is. I'm afraid it's me.
43
00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,720
My dad did it.
44
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:42,520
My dad was like an amateur...
Obviously.
45
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:49,320
Not a professional. And if you want
some sort of benchmark of his skill,
46
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,800
he did a portrait of my
sister-in-law, for a Christmas
47
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:57,800
present, and when she opened it
she cried cos it was so awful.
48
00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,640
So, um... That's the first prize.
49
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,240
It is sort of weirdly beautiful.
50
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:06,880
None of us could do that.
It's awesome. I'd have it.
51
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,960
Congratulations.
52
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,560
Rose, what have you
brought in from your shed?
53
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:15,640
So, as you know, I'm quite new to
this country - relatively new -
54
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:20,640
so I don't really have a SHID
or access to a SHID or friends
55
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:24,760
with a SHID. What about a shed?
56
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:30,720
Why, what's funny about a shid?
A shid? A shid.
57
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,320
A shed.
58
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,840
"A shed."
59
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:37,160
Fine.
60
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:42,440
Tell us about your shid.
Well, every good shid...
61
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,960
Alex, don't you start.
62
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,320
It's funnier when she says it. Yeah.
63
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,920
So silly.
Different backgrounds, it's nuts.
64
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,760
Um... thank you for colonising us,
by the way.
65
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,440
Really appreciate that.
66
00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,280
Um, but I brought this. Every good
New Zealand shid has this.
67
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:05,440
It's a poster of New Zealand fish
species. Here it is. Um...
68
00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:08,560
So I can't wait for those
big points.
69
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:16,080
Just someone who, like, keeps their
garden tools in a place would go,
70
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:20,240
"OK, that's it, lawnmower,
rake, hoe... fish poster."
71
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:23,040
That's where you keep your fishing
rods, you like to look at all your
72
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,280
fish, be proud of the fish
that come from your country.
73
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:29,160
Are you saying you should be proud
of fish that come from your country?
74
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,480
Yeah. Cos they're mobile creatures.
75
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,520
I'm not sure New Zealand have got
76
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,400
so few people that they have to
claim fish as residents.
77
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,840
Don't clap that. Don't clap that.
Clap it.
78
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:46,440
The dead ones aren't mobile.
Well, I suppose they float.
79
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,200
So many fish, so little points.
80
00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:52,840
David? Yes.
81
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,560
Have you got anything better than
a poster with fish on it?
82
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:59,960
Well, I always think that in a shed
there are a lot of spiders
83
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,160
and spiders' webs, and I don't
like spiders. I would have this.
84
00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:10,120
Thus allowing me to go in the shed
and not worry about spiders' webs
85
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:14,520
and then afterwards use it
for sex games.
86
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,120
Thanks, Dave.
87
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:21,400
I was gonna wear that tonight
and then I chickened out.
88
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:26,600
Ed, go on. This is from my mother's
shed. It's a gift I bought for her.
89
00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,480
It's a garden gnome, which shouldn't
be in a shed but she insists,
90
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,840
for some reason, on keeping it in
her shed. Here's a picture of it.
91
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:46,840
So he's having to transport
his cock in a wheelbarrow?
92
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:51,000
Of course he is...
Archetypal male sexual fantasy.
93
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:55,200
It's not a fantasy, it's a disease!
Look at the size of it!
94
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:59,880
What's the female equivalent?
Vagina in a shopping trolley?
95
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:03,200
Would you have laughed as much with
a vagina in a shopping trolley?
96
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,640
Oh, yes. Are you kidding me?
If I could find one of those,
97
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,640
that would have been
for Mum's next Christmas.
98
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:12,600
Katy, let's move away from
sex gnomes. Right, yes.
99
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:18,480
So, first of all, I have got you
an old stepladder. Here it is.
100
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:24,160
But wait. Huge reveal.
Picture two, please.
101
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:28,640
Oh. It's from a doll's house
shed - shid.
102
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:36,760
Shid. Shid. OK. And there's more.
There's more items to be shown.
103
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:41,120
These are all very little. It gets
cuter and cuter by the minute, boy.
104
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,040
Have you seen the drill?
105
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,840
It is small, yeah.
106
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:52,200
Great stuff.
107
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,800
Looks like someone's back in the
game.
108
00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:01,160
Are you kidding?
We are not alike at all.
109
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,800
That's weird. I think maybe, Katy,
110
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,960
it's just because I'm quite
sensitive about being too big...
111
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,760
Oh, I see, so you've gone the other
way. ..that bringing me in
112
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:13,880
even smaller things from the
shed... just... grinds my gears.
113
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,600
Really? Yeah.
114
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,880
Tough, innit?
115
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,040
How many points for Katy?
One. One, OK.
116
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:21,880
I did OK last week, I'm fine.
117
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:25,240
I'm gonna give David two points.
Oh. I'm gonna give Rose three.
118
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:28,720
Tiny gnome, big dick - four points.
119
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:31,200
And I'll tell you why, because
I thought there was a strange,
120
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:35,560
haunting beauty to Jo's shed statue,
and I know from her face
121
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:39,280
that she doesn't want me to give it
five points and so five points!
122
00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,520
All right, on we go.
123
00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:48,920
OK, we're gonna start with
one for all those pedal bin fans.
124
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,840
Ooh!
125
00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,480
Hello, Rose. Hi, Alex.
126
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,440
Hello. Hello, Ed. It's a bin.
127
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,600
Yeah? OK. Yeah. Great.
128
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:19,560
Would you mind opening the task? Is
it in here? Yeah, it's in the bin.
129
00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:34,080
"Throw something into this pedal bin
from the furthest distance."
130
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:40,360
"The pedal bin must be shut
when you throw your thing."
131
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:44,160
"The pedal bin must be shut
when you throw your thing."
132
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:47,800
"You have a maximum of 20 minutes."
133
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,360
"Your time starts now."
134
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:55,800
How's the thing gonna get in there
if the pedal bin's shut, Alex?
135
00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:59,360
It seems to me
to be physically complex.
136
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:06,800
OK. It's annoying, isn't it?
Yeah. I've gotta have... OK.
137
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,360
I'm going to the shid. Be careful.
138
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,120
This is a fiendish task.
Do you wanna explain it,
139
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,640
just to make it absolutely clear,
you nasty little boy?
140
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:24,440
Well, I guess it's like trying to
kick a ball into a goal,
141
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,240
but in front of the goal there's
some... like a garage door system,
142
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,200
the garage door is shut, and you've
gotta open the garage door before...
143
00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:34,280
Anyone else bored? So they've gotta
let go of the thing
144
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,400
they're throwing
before they can open the bin?
145
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:39,360
'That's gotta be shut when they
let go of it. That was short, wasn't it?
146
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,920
That was a very good explanation.
OK, let's see somebody do it.
147
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,360
OK, we've had literally hundreds
of people write in to say
148
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:47,200
they'd like to see Katy and Rose
have a go at this first,
149
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,480
so here they are.
That better be true.
150
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:54,280
These are slightly heavier.
This is me playing it safe.
151
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,080
If I can do that.
152
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,640
But it's gotta be closed.
153
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,480
I'm not convinced that was shut
when you let go.
154
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,160
Let me make it more aerodynamic. Mm.
155
00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,200
Which do you think happened first?
156
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,320
I don't even know if I can throw.
157
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,000
Huh.
158
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:20,200
Do you wanna measure that? Are you
sure it was shut when you threw it?
159
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:24,480
Yeah. Yeah?
1,000%. How much? 1,000.
160
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:27,360
Ah.
161
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:32,040
That would have counted.
162
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,600
Lovely. 1.20m. Thank you.
163
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,800
1.50m.
164
00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,520
Are you allowed to smack it in
as I throw it?
165
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:45,160
Smack it in? Yeah.
Can you stand... sort of here?
166
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,240
It's not gonna smack you in the...
It looks like it is... ..penis.
167
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,240
I think it might smack me
in the penis. Ready? Mm.
168
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:52,640
Ah! Sorry.
169
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:55,160
Oh!
170
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:59,600
Sorry. Mm-hm. Oh,
imagine I just tried to do it...
171
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,080
Oh, that's gonna work!
It's gonna work!
172
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,280
No!
173
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,680
Found a bit of brick.
174
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,240
This might be easier.
175
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,480
Put that...
I knew it would come in handy.
176
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:19,320
It wasn't shut. I've dented the bin.
177
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,520
Congratulations.
178
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:25,040
Oh, thank God.
179
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,520
One last-ditch attempt.
180
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:32,240
Yeah, I'm done. WHISTLE PEEPS
181
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:36,200
I'm gonna have to put this bin in
another bin now. How's your crotch?
182
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,520
Same as the bin. Oh. Ugly sight.
183
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:41,080
Thanks, Katy. Thank you.
184
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,840
Katy got that, right? Yeah,
Katy got it in from 1.40m,
185
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,000
which is an achievement.
It's a very hard task.
186
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,560
Rose, I thought that your technique
was genuinely...
187
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,160
It looked like you were playing
a professional sport.
188
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,120
Yeah, I dunno why
I was going for a bounce and in,
189
00:11:58,160 --> 00:11:59,560
but I managed to do it.
190
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,680
I'm not a betting man,
but I suspect she beat 1.40m.
191
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:07,160
Yes. Rose "Shaqinahat" -
2.45m. Shaqinahat?
192
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:10,040
Yeah, Shaquille O'Neal
wearing a hat. Shaqinahat.
193
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,840
Shaqinahat? Why are you saying
Shaqinahat? 2.45m.
194
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:16,560
Shidinabin? Shiqinahit.
It's a phrase...
195
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:20,680
Shaqinahit in a shid.
196
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,520
OK, time for some adverts.
197
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:25,120
No-one wants them
but we're in a capitalist society,
198
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:29,040
you pesky commies, so watch them.
See you in a bit.
199
00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:40,800
Hi, there!
200
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:45,240
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
It's part two of episode eight
201
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:48,360
of series nine. Correct.
And the current task involves
202
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,960
the contestants trying to throw
something into a pedal bin from
203
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,600
the furthest distance, but - and
this is the tricky part -
204
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,160
they have to release the thing
before opening the bin.
205
00:12:56,200 --> 00:13:01,280
It's time for two people from a very
different era. It's Jo and David.
206
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:06,600
People who know me well will tell
you that I'm a very unpractical man.
207
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:10,040
I'm now gonna prove
that's wrong... with some rope.
208
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:14,320
It doesn't really say whatever you
throw's got to stay in the air
209
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:17,280
till it gets in the bin, does it?
No.
210
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,560
But, then again, I'm quite lazy, so
I can't be arsed to walk very far.
211
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:27,680
Right, from here, I can lasso it up.
212
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,040
OK, I lasso it up...
213
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:32,960
Yeah.
214
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,680
Doesn't look like a very happy bin.
215
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:38,520
Have I broken it? A little bit.
Let's assume that's shut.
216
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:40,600
Here we go.
217
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,400
Oh!
218
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:45,240
Can you ask a person to open it?
219
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,080
Now!
220
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,360
Go!
221
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,240
Oh, bollocks, that was terrible.
222
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,760
You can't yank it, can you?
Right, yank!
223
00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:01,160
I actually thought that was
gonna go in. Mm. I didn't.
224
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,880
Go!
225
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,320
Terrible. Go!
226
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:06,840
Go!
227
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,760
Crap! Yank!
228
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:13,440
Yank. Yank.
229
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:16,720
No, you didn't yank. I tripped over.
If you'd yanked at the right time,
230
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:19,400
that would've gone in.
Would've gone in? Definitely.
231
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,800
Do you wanna be the sound man?
232
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:25,640
How do you do it? You point that
to the bin. Point that at the bin.
233
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:26,840
Shit.
234
00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:28,200
Pick up the bin. Yeah.
235
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:32,480
When I shout "go", open the bin,
run towards me and catch it.
236
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,040
It sounds so simple.
Let's see what happens.
237
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:37,120
Right, position this near the pedal.
238
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,280
OK, ready, steady, go!
239
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,840
Yes!
240
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:51,160
That'll do me. Are you done? Yeah.
241
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,480
OK.
242
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:55,720
Ah!
243
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:56,920
Oh!
244
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,400
Is it embarrassing?
It wasn't embarrassing for me.
245
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,080
Thank you, David. Thanks.
246
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,080
Both people have a fixed way of
approaching physical tasks.
247
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:18,760
Jo's is to be heron-like and still
until she's worked out a way
248
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:21,840
of not moving at all
and getting somebody else
249
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,640
to do the physical task for her.
250
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:26,320
But that was a system that worked
a treat, wasn't it? Yes, yeah.
251
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,000
Did it beat Shaqinahit?
It was a Shaqinahat on a cat.
252
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:32,440
It was 2.60m. Wow. And we're
all familiar with the term now,
253
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:35,960
there was no questioning of that.
David. Yes!
254
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,760
I did it, didn't I?
255
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,840
A lot of the physical challenges,
256
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,040
it's like we've set you a tricky
thing to do and then we've given you
257
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:47,800
the extra challenge
of being David Baddiel.
258
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:51,200
Yes. Wow! Yeah.
259
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,200
That is incredibly true.
260
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,080
Even when you had an assistant...
261
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,680
That whole tying a rope to it
262
00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,160
and pulling the bin over thing
was astonishing.
263
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,720
It's so ambitious.
No-one else thought to use a bath...
264
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,960
Yeah. ..at any point.
No-one thought of that.
265
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,536
But did I actually not get it in
at all? Did David get a ball in?
266
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,600
There was no balls in the bin.
No balls in the bin. Not one?
267
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,080
Very entertaining, though.
OK, who's next?
268
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:15,200
There's still Ed Gamble left to see.
269
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:21,000
Suppose I could... try and kick
the bottom out the pedal bin
270
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:22,520
and turn it upside down.
271
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,160
Come on, ya...!
272
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:35,800
Right. So that bin's shut, is it?
Yeah. The lid's shut.
273
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,240
Just its bottom's open.
274
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,560
I might try a massive one first.
I would.
275
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,760
Feels ambitious, this one.
276
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:47,040
I'm just gonna protect the window.
That'll do it.
277
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,200
Oh!
278
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,520
I dunno why I'm sticking
with a golf ball.
279
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,080
I could get some stones as well.
280
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,960
Was that in or did it just hit it?
It just hit it.
281
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:09,000
Oh, come on, Ed! I might try
and get one in, at least.
282
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,920
You should try to get one in, yeah.
283
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:16,200
Ooh!
284
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,640
Right, get that measured.
Shall I put that down as a marker
285
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,040
for your first attempt?
Yeah, thank you. First attempt.
286
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:27,320
OK, mark it up.
287
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,240
One's gone in there, hasn't it?
There is a stone in the bin.
288
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,720
Come on, Alex, check, check, check!
289
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:37,400
Four stones in the bin.
Yes! Come on, come on!
290
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,680
Time check. 41 seconds.
Do I have time? OK.
291
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:50,640
Go, check.
No. Don't have time to get...
292
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,800
I genuinely just picked up
some leaves cos I panicked.
293
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:04,400
That was, erm, testosterone central.
You kicked the bottom out the bin...
294
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:09,480
Oh. Sexy. Thank you, Katy. I thought
it was sexy. It was working for me.
295
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,480
I wrote some of your sexy phrases
down. "Oh, come on, Ed!
296
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:19,880
"Get that measured. Mark it up. Come
on. Check! Check! Check! Go, check!"
297
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:26,120
The thing I've noticed is that it
really matters to Ed to win this.
298
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,760
It's coming out there,
I think, that desperation.
299
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,360
I don't think it's desperation,
I think it's just dedication.
300
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,080
Of course it is.
301
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,800
Was the bin shut when he threw it?
Of course it was. OK.
302
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:37,360
What's the wording of the task?
303
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,280
"The bin must be closed
when you throw your item." Closed.
304
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,040
It's a pedal bin. I pressed
the pedal... What is the lid?
305
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,800
As the rules for international
bin chuck have not yet been
306
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,960
established, I'm gonna tell you now
that if the bin lid is closed,
307
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,640
the bin is closed.
308
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:54,080
But what is a bin lid? I know about
bins. In England, in our sheds,
309
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:57,360
we have posters of all
different types of bins.
310
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:08,680
Desperation. Dedication, David!
311
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,760
It's too butch now.
312
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:14,480
Too... I have never been
accused of being too butch.
313
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,680
You've cracked it tonight.
Yeah, the butch boy threw it
314
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,840
five adult Shaqs
and one two-year-old Shaqs -
315
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,600
12.40m. 12 metres!
316
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,320
OK, just need to check -
317
00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:31,280
if you don't have a distance,
do you get a point?
318
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,200
If you don't have any
distance at all? Yes.
319
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,240
He means me. David didn't get
a distance. Didn't get a distance.
320
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,040
The old Baddiel pity point.
321
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:42,680
Give the man a point. You're
so kind. I'll take the pity point.
322
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:46,040
One pity point to David,
two to Katy, three to Rose,
323
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,600
four to Jo Brand
and five to Ed Gamble!
324
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,040
Now, then, can I see a nice,
big scoreboard, please? You can.
325
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,680
David is in last place, with three,
326
00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:01,320
but we have two people in first
place. Scoreboard, project!
327
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:03,800
It's Ed and Jo on nine points. Hey!
328
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,320
What do we have next?
329
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:13,320
This one is about making the best
song in the world even better.
330
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,960
Hi. Oh, hello, Rose.
331
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,360
I'm already annoyed with this one.
Because?
332
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,560
Because there's music here
and I can't read music,
333
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,200
and I have no musical talent.
334
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:42,640
"Write the best lyrics to
the Taskmaster theme tune..."
335
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:46,280
"and perform them
in the most memorable way."
336
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,560
"You have 30 minutes.
Your time starts now."
337
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,440
OK, I have to tell you something.
Mm-hm.
338
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,480
Never watched Taskmaster. Right.
339
00:20:56,480 --> 00:21:00,200
What do you think the theme tune is?
Uh... can't really recall.
340
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,536
Are we allowed to play it or is that
why I've got the music?
341
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:03,840
How do you think it goes?
342
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:07,000
No, cos, every time I do it, I end
up singing League Of Gentlemen.
343
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:10,680
Uh, there's some music here.
I do read music.
344
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:14,200
You've had a number one.
Yeah, I did. Four times.
345
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,920
♪ Taskmaster's... ♪
346
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,400
Oh, bollocks.
347
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,920
♪ Duh, duh-duh-duh
348
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,280
♪ Duuh, duuh-duuh-duuh... ♪
349
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,600
♪ Duh, duh-duh-duh... ♪
350
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,880
It's Casualty, I think, isn't it?
351
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:39,320
At least one person here has got
four number ones to his name,
352
00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:42,760
so this is gonna be incredible.
But first we're stopping.
353
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:47,000
Part two, be gone!
We have liftoff!
354
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:03,240
Hello! Welcome back to part
three of Taskmaster.
355
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,560
That music sounded familiar, Alex.
Yes, it does.
356
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,760
Sadly, we usually only get to hear
it eight times a show,
357
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,720
but, as a special treat,
we're hearing it 13 times today
358
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,560
because the task is to write
the lyrics for it.
359
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,640
Would you like to start with
the hit-maker David Baddiel?
360
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,880
Oh, Daddy Four Ones?
361
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,360
We're gonna start with
Daddy Four Ones.
362
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,720
Here he is in action -
David Baddiel.
363
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:28,400
♪ Ta...♪
Sorry. One, two, three, four.
364
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:32,080
♪ Taskmaster's on
365
00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:36,080
♪ It is on now
366
00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:38,840
♪ Taskmaster's on
367
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:42,480
♪ It is not... ♪
368
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,000
No, hang on. It's not how it is...
369
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,680
♪ It is not How... ♪
370
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:50,760
The programme from the 1970s
with Fred Dinenage.
371
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,840
♪ Taskmaster's on
372
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:58,840
♪ Sit yourself down
373
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:03,080
♪ On your sofa
374
00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:06,520
♪ Right there in your own town. ♪
375
00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:14,200
Is it any wonder
we never won the World Cup?
376
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,840
The quality of the song,
I can deal with that quickly. OK.
377
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:23,320
But we are marking it on the way it
being performed being memorable.
378
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,800
Most memorable performance.
That was pretty memorable.
379
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:29,760
'He sight-read the music, he played it correctly.
He didn't go and listen to the theme tune?
380
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:33,136
'He didn't leave the room at any point. Never
listened to the theme tune at any point.
381
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,080
We'll come back to it. There were
elements I enjoyed very much
382
00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:38,720
and I am impressed that
you can sight-read music.
383
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,120
Yes, the bar is set at a height. OK.
384
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:45,600
Next up, it's rootin',
tootin' Rose Matafeo. Whoo!
385
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,360
♪ There was a country boy
called Alex Horne
386
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,640
♪ He had a heart of gold
and a brain full of corn
387
00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,320
♪ He made a task, sunrise to set
388
00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:01,520
♪ To test the cows and the chickens
and their intellect
389
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:03,560
♪ Till one day
he went to the big city
390
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,600
♪ Met a tall old man named
Greg Davies
391
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,480
♪ He said,
"I'm gonna put you on the TV
392
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,520
♪ "Success'll be ours, I guarantee"
393
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:11,560
♪ We'll get five guys and girls
to play your game
394
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,400
♪ Who'll all be at varying
levels of fame
395
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,440
♪ Alex shook his hand
and the deal was done
396
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,480
♪ Yee-haw, Greg,
now we're gonna have some fun
397
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:19,360
♪ So that's the story, truth be told
398
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:21,520
♪ Of how little Alex Horne's
little soul was sold
399
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:25,320
♪ That's the tale told by me
of how Taskmaster came to be. ♪
400
00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:26,960
Yeeha!
401
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,400
Whoo!
402
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:42,320
I mean, that was so good it got
a small group of pensioners
403
00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:45,240
clapping along.
That was genuinely amazing.
404
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,760
I'm not even angry that you referred
to me as a tall "old man".
405
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,240
I forgot I said you had
a brain full of corn.
406
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:58,120
I've heard worse
insults during the series.
407
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,920
Was it an insult? No. Oh, thank you.
408
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,880
Next up is a contestant with
the most apt name for the task -
409
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,880
it's Katy Ly-wix.
410
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,240
♪ Greg is so wise
411
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,880
♪ And very tall
412
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,440
♪ Alex is fine
413
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:20,240
♪ Not quite as tall
414
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,520
♪ Will there be eggs?
415
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,560
♪ I like tasks with eggs
416
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,800
♪ This is the song
417
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:29,880
♪ That plays at the start
418
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,960
♪ Good luck to all the people
taking part in tasks today. ♪
419
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,680
I've given myself a stitch.
420
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,400
I'm tall and wise,
you're not quite as tall.
421
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,880
No, she rhymed tall with tall,
in the end. Oh, did she?
422
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,720
It does rhyme.
Did you rhyme eggs with eggs?
423
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,920
Yeah. Yes, she did.
424
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,800
Quite a strict rhyming scheme.
425
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,520
I made my point. Oh, my God,
that's gonna take some beating.
426
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:04,520
Right, OK. Well,
it's Jo now and Jo has company.
427
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:06,600
One, two, three, four.
428
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,880
♪ Alex is great
429
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,200
♪ Greg's just a twat
430
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,000
♪ Alex is thin
431
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,720
♪ Greg's really fat
432
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:19,240
♪ Alex goes, "Whoo!"
433
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,520
♪ Greg just goes, "Splat!"
434
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,600
♪ If I don't win
435
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,080
♪ You're toast. ♪
436
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:30,680
One point.
437
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,560
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
438
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,080
Oh, you're gonna get merked.
439
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:46,160
"Just a twat". "Alex is thin". Yeah.
"Greg is just fat". Yeah.
440
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,680
So she has rhymed different words...
"How was work today?"
441
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,720
"Yeah, not too bad.
Someone called me fat."
442
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,960
"Oh, that's not very nice.
Who was it?" "Jo Brand."
443
00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:03,560
It was part of the rhyme.
I couldn't think of anything else.
444
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,680
Yeah, it was twat that came first,
wasn't it? Yeah. "Just a twat".
445
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:07,920
Er...
446
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:13,480
Oh, dear. Can I go home?
No, you can't, you can
447
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:17,240
just settle down and look
forward to the lack of points.
448
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,600
Who's next? Well, it means
that Ed is last again.
449
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:24,360
He chose his style of singing
because he thinks the theme tune
450
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,960
sounds like a certain someone making
a noise in a certain way,
451
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,960
so we're gonna see Ed representing
that certain someone now.
452
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,040
♪ Where is my mum?
453
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,760
♪ Where has she gone?
454
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:43,440
♪ Waah, waah-waah-waah
455
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,120
♪ I'm a big baby
456
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:48,600
♪ Please hurry, Mum
457
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,280
♪ I feel sad
458
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,080
♪ I need my milk
459
00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:56,000
♪ I've soiled myself
460
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:59,040
♪ Oh, here comes my mum,
thank God for that. ♪
461
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,240
Jesus Christ.
462
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:18,440
You think the Taskmaster theme
sounds like a baby crying?
463
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,360
♪ Waah, waah-waah-waah
464
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,760
♪ Waah, waah-waah-waah. ♪
465
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,360
Was there any rhymes?
No. Did we have to rhyme?
466
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:28,280
No, no, you had to demonstrate
some musical skill, but, I mean,
467
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:31,120
don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the
lovely little baby sitting on the
468
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:33,960
hedge and the mum coming out
and giving him a little kiss.
469
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,320
Right, you've seen all five.
All right.
470
00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:40,680
One point - guess what - Jo Brand.
Two points, David Baddiel.
471
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:44,520
Three points to Katy.
Four points to...
472
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,880
♪ Waah, waah-waah-waah. ♪
Lovely baby.
473
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:50,720
Because the most rounded performance
and beautiful song was, of course,
474
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:52,760
five points - Rose Matafeo!
475
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,600
You know what I'd like right now?
Oh, yes.
476
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:01,880
No, not that.
477
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:06,280
I'd like another task, please.
Sorry. Yes, here we go.
478
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,480
There's a small
black and white telly.
479
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:22,800
I used to have one like that
when I was a student.
480
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,400
"Supply the sound for this film."
481
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:28,480
"Supply the sound for this film."
482
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:32,080
"You will have one chance to perform
all the sounds in time with the film
483
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:35,320
"in exactly 20 minutes from now."
OK, so we want time...
484
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,800
We need to make a note of times.
485
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:41,320
What have we got? We've got a duck.
Start off with duck.
486
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,000
Duck. Quack, quack, quack.
487
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:46,840
When Alex looks at the lake,
he sort of breathes out.
488
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:50,320
Crunching. Shoe. A scream.
489
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,560
There's a man coming out of a bush.
490
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,080
Bush noises. Beep-beep. Beep-beep.
491
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:56,560
Running. Running.
492
00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:00,040
Splash. Splashing of water.
Splash, another splash.
493
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,000
He's blowing the whistle, fweeeeeee.
494
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,320
And then laughing.
Laughing. Two laughs.
495
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:09,360
Three claps, two clicks, one clink.
Clink of beer at the end.
496
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:13,760
Do you think we should do some
inappropriate noises? Yes.
497
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:17,760
But quite badly.
I'm perfectly happy to do any noises
498
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,040
that suggest that Alex
has shat himself.
499
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:33,656
'Do you want me to tell you what the movie's called?
I wrote, directed and starred in it. Oh, yes, please.
500
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:37,840
The Wild Thing Rides Again.
501
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,800
We're gonna start with
the shouty ones and Katy.
502
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:42,680
Here we go, it's a team of three.
503
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,360
Maybe someone needs to
be in charge of the voices
504
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:48,120
and someone needs to
be in charge of this, the shoes.
505
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:51,240
Yeah. So who's doing duck quacking?
Um, do you wanna do the...?
506
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:52,760
I'll do duck quacking. OK.
507
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,840
I burst the balloon and then a kind
of prrft noise. I'll do that.
508
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,720
We're just gonna have to be on it.
Just go with the flow.
509
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:07,280
Quack, quack, quack, quack.
510
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:37,920
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
511
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,400
Beep-beep. BELL DINGS
512
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:09,080
Ha-huh!
513
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:18,480
Ah!
514
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,120
Pretty much professional.
515
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:49,480
It was. The only slightly inaccurate
thing was that, when the woman
516
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:54,000
at the end laughed, she laughed
with the voice of three people...
517
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:55,760
..which was a bit creepy.
518
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:58,360
Maybe that was part of the
narrative.
519
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:03,320
Yeah, she was possessed. She was
a ghoul. Do the horn noise again.
520
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:04,880
Ha-huh!
521
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:09,200
Great. Quick break.
522
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:13,080
Hurry back because there is a fish
poster to be won in part four.
523
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:27,800
Hello! Yes, it's another welcome
back from me, Greg Davies, a big,
524
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:31,400
juicy steak of a man, with all
the trimmings and none of the salad.
525
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:32,920
Before the break...
526
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:39,520
..there was some good, old-fashioned
foley going on, wasn't there?
527
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,120
Ha-huh!
528
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:44,280
Yes, we've seen Ed, Rose
and Katy show us how it's done.
529
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:46,960
Now it's the turn of my favourite
double act - Brand and Baddiel.
530
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,440
Here we go.
531
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,320
What are we gonna do for that
noise? What noise? I can just go,
532
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:54,200
beep-boop. Yeah, do that. Beep-boop.
Right. Party popper.
533
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:55,480
What are we using for that?
534
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,640
{\an1}I thought you were gonna go...
535
00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:59,600
Oh, yeah. HER CHEEK POPS
536
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:01,600
And when he's on that shall,
I just go...?
537
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:05,376
Yeah, if you like. I don't really
wanna do that. Yeah, do that.
538
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,960
Here we go. Right, then. So...
539
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,080
Here we go. OK. Lovely day.
540
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:15,120
Quack, quack, quack, quack.
Quack, quack.
541
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:25,080
OK.
542
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:34,960
Where's my whistle? Where's...?
543
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:46,360
Oh. Rustle, rustle.
544
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:50,120
Beep-boop.
545
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,000
Oh, pop. Oh, sorry. Splash.
546
00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:59,200
Rustle, rustle.
547
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:05,240
More leaves, more leaves,
more leaves.
548
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:09,440
OK, lands on the bike - plop.
Not that. That's the...
549
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:11,440
Where's the bell? BELL DINGS
550
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:12,720
Oh, God.
551
00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:16,600
Waah, baah!
552
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:24,360
Frightening man, frightening man.
553
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,680
Oh! Oh. Oh, thank heavens.
554
00:35:31,720 --> 00:35:33,800
Ahhhh. Whistle.
555
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,240
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
556
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,840
I still think we'll do better
than the young 'uns.
557
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:09,160
I mean, it was genuinely really
good. Thank you very much.
558
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,160
But there was some unusual
decisions.
559
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:12,800
When Alex opened his car,
560
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:16,600
I wasn't expecting it to be quite
such a literal beep-boop.
561
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,000
But what about the backing?
562
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:21,960
We had a backing track, which they
didn't have. I'm coming onto that.
563
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:25,240
David did put a mood track on.
It seemed like a silent film to me
564
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:28,520
and therefore it needed a musical
soundtrack. It was a silent film.
565
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:30,720
Yeah, it was. Well-spotted, Dave.
566
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:34,000
It was literally a silent film.
Yeah.
567
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:39,040
I thought my scream was a tiny bit
more anguished than Rose's scream.
568
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:43,080
It was. OK. But who's to say how
much the character was screaming?
569
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:47,400
Pretend to scream right now,
me versus David. OK. OK? Perfect.
570
00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:49,440
Yeah, OK. OK, open your...
I'll do mine.
571
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,720
These will be short,
sharp screams. Yeah.
572
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:56,040
Oh, yes!
573
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:01,680
Was that good? Three, two, one.
574
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:09,200
A hair's breadth between them.
Both powerful.
575
00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:10,840
That's not solved anything.
576
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:13,320
Do you wanna hear what it should've
sounded like? Yeah.
577
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,560
You can't scream, that's right!
578
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,560
Never been able to scream.
Haven't you?
579
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:22,080
Whistling and screaming,
can't do it. You can't scream.
580
00:37:30,720 --> 00:37:32,520
Oh, man, that's really hard.
581
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:34,840
I enjoyed them
both for different reasons.
582
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,360
It's best soundtrack.
It's best soundtrack.
583
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:41,480
All right, I'll give the young
people three, old people two. There.
584
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:47,840
Are you still keeping
track of the scores?
585
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:52,320
I'll do the series scores
first of all. Yeah.
586
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:55,080
David, you're very nearly on triple
figures - on 96 points!
587
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:57,640
Oh, that's exciting.
588
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:01,320
And, after that, it's pretty tight.
Rose is on 126.
589
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,880
Katy and Jo both on 127.
590
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:08,640
Ed's got a slight lead now - 134.
Ooh.
591
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:11,000
Ed.
592
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,880
He's catchable, though, right?
He's catchable. He's catchable.
593
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:16,520
Oh, Ed Gamble's always catchable.
He's catchable.
594
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,720
And it's the same leader
and loser in this episode.
595
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:21,520
We have David on seven points,
596
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:24,040
but the leader is Ed with 16 points.
Yeah!
597
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:30,440
Right. Up you get to the stage
for the final task of the show.
598
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:44,000
Five lovely guys with lovely
helmets on. You!
599
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:45,960
Who's gonna read the task out?
600
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,040
Jo Brand's gonna read this one out,
please.
601
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:54,880
"Without adjusting your welder's
mask at any point,
602
00:38:54,920 --> 00:39:00,080
"draw your own face on the front
of your welder's mask.
603
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:03,840
"Your face should be the same
size as your face
604
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:09,400
"and either very angry
or very happy.
605
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:14,920
"Most detailed and accurate face
wins. You have three minutes."
606
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:18,920
OK, so if you could pull your visors
over your actual faces, please.
607
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:23,000
How do I look angry? Is that angry?
I don't know. Good luck.
608
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:26,200
Your three minutes starts...
609
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:37,160
Oh, it doesn't rub out!
610
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:40,120
Which bit of you doesn't rub out?
My nose.
611
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:52,360
Happy or angry, Katy?
Happy, obviously. Happy.
612
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:55,200
Happy or angry? Happy. OK.
613
00:39:55,240 --> 00:39:56,720
I think I've finished.
614
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,040
You're finished all right.
615
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:09,320
Oh, this ear's too far off.
616
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:14,200
You have ten seconds left.
617
00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:17,680
Nine, eight, seven...
618
00:40:17,720 --> 00:40:23,560
Six, five, four,
three, two, one.
619
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,680
WHISTLE PEEPS Pens down.
620
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:31,720
Which end would you like me
to start with, Greg?
621
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:35,400
I think we'll start with Rose. OK.
622
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,400
Hello, Rose. Hello.
623
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:41,160
You're gonna compare this face
to her face. Yes.
624
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:42,960
She's happy, correct?
625
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,560
It's detailed. OK.
626
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:53,560
It's not that accurate.
627
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:55,960
Next helmet. Next helmet.
628
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:57,880
Hello, Katy. Hello.
629
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:01,360
Thank you. Pleasure.
630
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:07,360
Wow! Pretty good.
631
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:11,920
Detailed, accurate. Next, Greg?
Jo Brand, please.
632
00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:14,200
I presume you're angry.
633
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:23,920
Yeah, you're grumpy all right.
634
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:25,600
You're doing it yourself.
635
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:28,200
Is that all right?
It is my job, but...
636
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:31,600
Yeah, it's all right.
637
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:36,000
Hello, David.
638
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,840
He's up on the yellow bit. OK.
639
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:55,360
It looks... I think
it looks quite like him. Yeah.
640
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:58,280
You've gotta judge them, Greg.
All right, you ready?
641
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,040
I'm giving Jo and David
three points each.
642
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:02,640
Oh.
643
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:04,920
Happy with that.
644
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:08,400
I'm giving Ed
and Rose four points each.
645
00:42:12,240 --> 00:42:16,800
But there's a runaway winner here
and she's both happy and demure.
646
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:19,840
I will give five points to Katy Wix.
647
00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:26,560
Come back down, we'll add that
to the final scores.
648
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:37,600
Well, that will
have affected things, won't it?
649
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:41,120
It has affected the scores.
Jo and Katy come in joint third,
650
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:45,080
Rose in second, David last, and Ed
Gamble wins the show with 20 points!
651
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:51,200
Ed Gamble is tonight's winner.
652
00:42:51,240 --> 00:42:55,040
Please go and show off
your shedload of prizes!
653
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:00,560
So, what have we learned today?
654
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:03,280
We've learnt that
if David Baddiel's face was made
655
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:05,160
into a sculpture by Jo Brand's dad
656
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:09,920
then it should instantly be locked
into a SHID and the key thrown away.
657
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:12,600
Let's all sod off
and grab a nightcap,
658
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:18,480
but not before saluting tonight's
winner one more time - Ed Gamble!
659
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:44,960
Subtitles by Red Bee Media