1 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:09,840 Stella! 2 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:16,600 Hold it. 3 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:18,040 What? 4 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:23,040 Yes! 5 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,840 Hello! Thank you very much. 6 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:41,280 I'm Greg Davies and this is Taskmaster. Five mighty warriors 7 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,400 are battling it out to win a prize that none of them want 8 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:47,000 but absolutely have to have - it's contractual. 9 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:50,160 They have to take it home and give it a lovely kiss every night. 10 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:55,520 Let's meet them now. They are titans. They are David Baddiel! 11 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:57,960 Ed Gamble! 12 00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,480 Jo Brand! 13 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:01,320 Katy Wix! 14 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,040 And Rose Matafeo! 15 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,600 And here's a guy who, without hair, 16 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:10,520 would be as physically featureless as one sausage. 17 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:13,000 It's little Alex Horne! 18 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:16,960 Thank you. 19 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,480 Hello. Hello. How are you? 20 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:22,520 Today, I'm good, I'm full of ambition and optimism. 21 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,680 Good. I've come up with a new TV show. OK. 22 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:28,000 But I'd like you to be in it. Oh. If that's all right? 23 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,040 Will I be presenting? Do you want to present it? Let's see. 24 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,856 I don't know what the concept... All I've got is a theme tune so far. OK. 25 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:37,576 'Would you like to here the theme tune? Yes, please. My friend wrote it and it sounds like this. 26 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:39,680 ♪ It's the Alex Horne Show, it's the Alex Horne Show 27 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:41,896 '♪ It's the Alex Horne Show, it's the Alex Horne Show. ♪ 28 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:44,200 Oh. With Greg Mavies. 29 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:47,120 That's what he did. With Greg Mavies? 30 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,680 If you wanna change that, we can change that. No, no. 31 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,720 No, I'm good with Mavies. 32 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,840 Thanks, Alex. OK! 33 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,280 Can you tell me what the prize category is, please? 34 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:02,480 Of course I can. We've asked them to bring in the best thing from a shed. 35 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,720 Oh. For example, I think milk is the best thing 36 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,120 and I keep my milk in a shed, so I'd probably bring in milk. 37 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,760 Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding! Five points. 38 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,200 Incredibly, ladies and gentlemen, all of that was on autocue. 39 00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:18,560 OK! Hello, Jo Brand. Hi, Greg. 40 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,880 What's the best thing you've brought in from a shed? 41 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:24,400 It's a beautiful sculpture. Mm. Here it is. 42 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:33,240 I'm sort of nervous to ask you who it is. I'm afraid it's me. 43 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,720 My dad did it. 44 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:42,520 My dad was like an amateur... Obviously. 45 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:49,320 Not a professional. And if you want some sort of benchmark of his skill, 46 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,800 he did a portrait of my sister-in-law, for a Christmas 47 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:57,800 present, and when she opened it she cried cos it was so awful. 48 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,640 So, um... That's the first prize. 49 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,240 It is sort of weirdly beautiful. 50 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:06,880 None of us could do that. It's awesome. I'd have it. 51 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,960 Congratulations. 52 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,560 Rose, what have you brought in from your shed? 53 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:15,640 So, as you know, I'm quite new to this country - relatively new - 54 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:20,640 so I don't really have a SHID or access to a SHID or friends 55 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:24,760 with a SHID. What about a shed? 56 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:30,720 Why, what's funny about a shid? A shid? A shid. 57 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,320 A shed. 58 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,840 "A shed." 59 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:37,160 Fine. 60 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:42,440 Tell us about your shid. Well, every good shid... 61 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,960 Alex, don't you start. 62 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,320 It's funnier when she says it. Yeah. 63 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,920 So silly. Different backgrounds, it's nuts. 64 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,760 Um... thank you for colonising us, by the way. 65 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,440 Really appreciate that. 66 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,280 Um, but I brought this. Every good New Zealand shid has this. 67 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:05,440 It's a poster of New Zealand fish species. Here it is. Um... 68 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:08,560 So I can't wait for those big points. 69 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:16,080 Just someone who, like, keeps their garden tools in a place would go, 70 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:20,240 "OK, that's it, lawnmower, rake, hoe... fish poster." 71 00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:23,040 That's where you keep your fishing rods, you like to look at all your 72 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,280 fish, be proud of the fish that come from your country. 73 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:29,160 Are you saying you should be proud of fish that come from your country? 74 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,480 Yeah. Cos they're mobile creatures. 75 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,520 I'm not sure New Zealand have got 76 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,400 so few people that they have to claim fish as residents. 77 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,840 Don't clap that. Don't clap that. Clap it. 78 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:46,440 The dead ones aren't mobile. Well, I suppose they float. 79 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,200 So many fish, so little points. 80 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:52,840 David? Yes. 81 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,560 Have you got anything better than a poster with fish on it? 82 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:59,960 Well, I always think that in a shed there are a lot of spiders 83 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,160 and spiders' webs, and I don't like spiders. I would have this. 84 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:10,120 Thus allowing me to go in the shed and not worry about spiders' webs 85 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:14,520 and then afterwards use it for sex games. 86 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,120 Thanks, Dave. 87 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:21,400 I was gonna wear that tonight and then I chickened out. 88 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:26,600 Ed, go on. This is from my mother's shed. It's a gift I bought for her. 89 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,480 It's a garden gnome, which shouldn't be in a shed but she insists, 90 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,840 for some reason, on keeping it in her shed. Here's a picture of it. 91 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:46,840 So he's having to transport his cock in a wheelbarrow? 92 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:51,000 Of course he is... Archetypal male sexual fantasy. 93 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:55,200 It's not a fantasy, it's a disease! Look at the size of it! 94 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:59,880 What's the female equivalent? Vagina in a shopping trolley? 95 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:03,200 Would you have laughed as much with a vagina in a shopping trolley? 96 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,640 Oh, yes. Are you kidding me? If I could find one of those, 97 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,640 that would have been for Mum's next Christmas. 98 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:12,600 Katy, let's move away from sex gnomes. Right, yes. 99 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:18,480 So, first of all, I have got you an old stepladder. Here it is. 100 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:24,160 But wait. Huge reveal. Picture two, please. 101 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:28,640 Oh. It's from a doll's house shed - shid. 102 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:36,760 Shid. Shid. OK. And there's more. There's more items to be shown. 103 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:41,120 These are all very little. It gets cuter and cuter by the minute, boy. 104 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,040 Have you seen the drill? 105 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,840 It is small, yeah. 106 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:52,200 Great stuff. 107 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,800 Looks like someone's back in the game. 108 00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:01,160 Are you kidding? We are not alike at all. 109 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,800 That's weird. I think maybe, Katy, 110 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,960 it's just because I'm quite sensitive about being too big... 111 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,760 Oh, I see, so you've gone the other way. ..that bringing me in 112 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:13,880 even smaller things from the shed... just... grinds my gears. 113 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,600 Really? Yeah. 114 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,880 Tough, innit? 115 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,040 How many points for Katy? One. One, OK. 116 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:21,880 I did OK last week, I'm fine. 117 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:25,240 I'm gonna give David two points. Oh. I'm gonna give Rose three. 118 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:28,720 Tiny gnome, big dick - four points. 119 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:31,200 And I'll tell you why, because I thought there was a strange, 120 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:35,560 haunting beauty to Jo's shed statue, and I know from her face 121 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:39,280 that she doesn't want me to give it five points and so five points! 122 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,520 All right, on we go. 123 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:48,920 OK, we're gonna start with one for all those pedal bin fans. 124 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,840 Ooh! 125 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,480 Hello, Rose. Hi, Alex. 126 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,440 Hello. Hello, Ed. It's a bin. 127 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,600 Yeah? OK. Yeah. Great. 128 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:19,560 Would you mind opening the task? Is it in here? Yeah, it's in the bin. 129 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:34,080 "Throw something into this pedal bin from the furthest distance." 130 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:40,360 "The pedal bin must be shut when you throw your thing." 131 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:44,160 "The pedal bin must be shut when you throw your thing." 132 00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:47,800 "You have a maximum of 20 minutes." 133 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,360 "Your time starts now." 134 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:55,800 How's the thing gonna get in there if the pedal bin's shut, Alex? 135 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:59,360 It seems to me to be physically complex. 136 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:06,800 OK. It's annoying, isn't it? Yeah. I've gotta have... OK. 137 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,360 I'm going to the shid. Be careful. 138 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,120 This is a fiendish task. Do you wanna explain it, 139 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,640 just to make it absolutely clear, you nasty little boy? 140 00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:24,440 Well, I guess it's like trying to kick a ball into a goal, 141 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,240 but in front of the goal there's some... like a garage door system, 142 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,200 the garage door is shut, and you've gotta open the garage door before... 143 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:34,280 Anyone else bored? So they've gotta let go of the thing 144 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,400 they're throwing before they can open the bin? 145 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:39,360 'That's gotta be shut when they let go of it. That was short, wasn't it? 146 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,920 That was a very good explanation. OK, let's see somebody do it. 147 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,360 OK, we've had literally hundreds of people write in to say 148 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:47,200 they'd like to see Katy and Rose have a go at this first, 149 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,480 so here they are. That better be true. 150 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:54,280 These are slightly heavier. This is me playing it safe. 151 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,080 If I can do that. 152 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,640 But it's gotta be closed. 153 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,480 I'm not convinced that was shut when you let go. 154 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,160 Let me make it more aerodynamic. Mm. 155 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,200 Which do you think happened first? 156 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,320 I don't even know if I can throw. 157 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,000 Huh. 158 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:20,200 Do you wanna measure that? Are you sure it was shut when you threw it? 159 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:24,480 Yeah. Yeah? 1,000%. How much? 1,000. 160 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:27,360 Ah. 161 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:32,040 That would have counted. 162 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,600 Lovely. 1.20m. Thank you. 163 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,800 1.50m. 164 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,520 Are you allowed to smack it in as I throw it? 165 00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:45,160 Smack it in? Yeah. Can you stand... sort of here? 166 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,240 It's not gonna smack you in the... It looks like it is... ..penis. 167 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,240 I think it might smack me in the penis. Ready? Mm. 168 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:52,640 Ah! Sorry. 169 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:55,160 Oh! 170 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:59,600 Sorry. Mm-hm. Oh, imagine I just tried to do it... 171 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,080 Oh, that's gonna work! It's gonna work! 172 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,280 No! 173 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,680 Found a bit of brick. 174 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,240 This might be easier. 175 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,480 Put that... I knew it would come in handy. 176 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:19,320 It wasn't shut. I've dented the bin. 177 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,520 Congratulations. 178 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:25,040 Oh, thank God. 179 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,520 One last-ditch attempt. 180 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:32,240 Yeah, I'm done. WHISTLE PEEPS 181 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:36,200 I'm gonna have to put this bin in another bin now. How's your crotch? 182 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,520 Same as the bin. Oh. Ugly sight. 183 00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:41,080 Thanks, Katy. Thank you. 184 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,840 Katy got that, right? Yeah, Katy got it in from 1.40m, 185 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,000 which is an achievement. It's a very hard task. 186 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,560 Rose, I thought that your technique was genuinely... 187 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,160 It looked like you were playing a professional sport. 188 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,120 Yeah, I dunno why I was going for a bounce and in, 189 00:11:58,160 --> 00:11:59,560 but I managed to do it. 190 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,680 I'm not a betting man, but I suspect she beat 1.40m. 191 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:07,160 Yes. Rose "Shaqinahat" - 2.45m. Shaqinahat? 192 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:10,040 Yeah, Shaquille O'Neal wearing a hat. Shaqinahat. 193 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,840 Shaqinahat? Why are you saying Shaqinahat? 2.45m. 194 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:16,560 Shidinabin? Shiqinahit. It's a phrase... 195 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:20,680 Shaqinahit in a shid. 196 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,520 OK, time for some adverts. 197 00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:25,120 No-one wants them but we're in a capitalist society, 198 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:29,040 you pesky commies, so watch them. See you in a bit. 199 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:40,800 Hi, there! 200 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:45,240 Welcome back to Taskmaster. It's part two of episode eight 201 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:48,360 of series nine. Correct. And the current task involves 202 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,960 the contestants trying to throw something into a pedal bin from 203 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,600 the furthest distance, but - and this is the tricky part - 204 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,160 they have to release the thing before opening the bin. 205 00:12:56,200 --> 00:13:01,280 It's time for two people from a very different era. It's Jo and David. 206 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:06,600 People who know me well will tell you that I'm a very unpractical man. 207 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:10,040 I'm now gonna prove that's wrong... with some rope. 208 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:14,320 It doesn't really say whatever you throw's got to stay in the air 209 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:17,280 till it gets in the bin, does it? No. 210 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,560 But, then again, I'm quite lazy, so I can't be arsed to walk very far. 211 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:27,680 Right, from here, I can lasso it up. 212 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,040 OK, I lasso it up... 213 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:32,960 Yeah. 214 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,680 Doesn't look like a very happy bin. 215 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:38,520 Have I broken it? A little bit. Let's assume that's shut. 216 00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:40,600 Here we go. 217 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,400 Oh! 218 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:45,240 Can you ask a person to open it? 219 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,080 Now! 220 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,360 Go! 221 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,240 Oh, bollocks, that was terrible. 222 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,760 You can't yank it, can you? Right, yank! 223 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:01,160 I actually thought that was gonna go in. Mm. I didn't. 224 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,880 Go! 225 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,320 Terrible. Go! 226 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:06,840 Go! 227 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,760 Crap! Yank! 228 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:13,440 Yank. Yank. 229 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:16,720 No, you didn't yank. I tripped over. If you'd yanked at the right time, 230 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:19,400 that would've gone in. Would've gone in? Definitely. 231 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,800 Do you wanna be the sound man? 232 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:25,640 How do you do it? You point that to the bin. Point that at the bin. 233 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:26,840 Shit. 234 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:28,200 Pick up the bin. Yeah. 235 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:32,480 When I shout "go", open the bin, run towards me and catch it. 236 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,040 It sounds so simple. Let's see what happens. 237 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:37,120 Right, position this near the pedal. 238 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,280 OK, ready, steady, go! 239 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,840 Yes! 240 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:51,160 That'll do me. Are you done? Yeah. 241 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,480 OK. 242 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:55,720 Ah! 243 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:56,920 Oh! 244 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,400 Is it embarrassing? It wasn't embarrassing for me. 245 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,080 Thank you, David. Thanks. 246 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,080 Both people have a fixed way of approaching physical tasks. 247 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:18,760 Jo's is to be heron-like and still until she's worked out a way 248 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:21,840 of not moving at all and getting somebody else 249 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,640 to do the physical task for her. 250 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:26,320 But that was a system that worked a treat, wasn't it? Yes, yeah. 251 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,000 Did it beat Shaqinahit? It was a Shaqinahat on a cat. 252 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:32,440 It was 2.60m. Wow. And we're all familiar with the term now, 253 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:35,960 there was no questioning of that. David. Yes! 254 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,760 I did it, didn't I? 255 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,840 A lot of the physical challenges, 256 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,040 it's like we've set you a tricky thing to do and then we've given you 257 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:47,800 the extra challenge of being David Baddiel. 258 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:51,200 Yes. Wow! Yeah. 259 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,200 That is incredibly true. 260 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,080 Even when you had an assistant... 261 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,680 That whole tying a rope to it 262 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,160 and pulling the bin over thing was astonishing. 263 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,720 It's so ambitious. No-one else thought to use a bath... 264 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,960 Yeah. ..at any point. No-one thought of that. 265 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,536 But did I actually not get it in at all? Did David get a ball in? 266 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,600 There was no balls in the bin. No balls in the bin. Not one? 267 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,080 Very entertaining, though. OK, who's next? 268 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:15,200 There's still Ed Gamble left to see. 269 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:21,000 Suppose I could... try and kick the bottom out the pedal bin 270 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:22,520 and turn it upside down. 271 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,160 Come on, ya...! 272 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:35,800 Right. So that bin's shut, is it? Yeah. The lid's shut. 273 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,240 Just its bottom's open. 274 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,560 I might try a massive one first. I would. 275 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,760 Feels ambitious, this one. 276 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:47,040 I'm just gonna protect the window. That'll do it. 277 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,200 Oh! 278 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,520 I dunno why I'm sticking with a golf ball. 279 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,080 I could get some stones as well. 280 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,960 Was that in or did it just hit it? It just hit it. 281 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:09,000 Oh, come on, Ed! I might try and get one in, at least. 282 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,920 You should try to get one in, yeah. 283 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:16,200 Ooh! 284 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,640 Right, get that measured. Shall I put that down as a marker 285 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,040 for your first attempt? Yeah, thank you. First attempt. 286 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:27,320 OK, mark it up. 287 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,240 One's gone in there, hasn't it? There is a stone in the bin. 288 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,720 Come on, Alex, check, check, check! 289 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:37,400 Four stones in the bin. Yes! Come on, come on! 290 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,680 Time check. 41 seconds. Do I have time? OK. 291 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:50,640 Go, check. No. Don't have time to get... 292 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,800 I genuinely just picked up some leaves cos I panicked. 293 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:04,400 That was, erm, testosterone central. You kicked the bottom out the bin... 294 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:09,480 Oh. Sexy. Thank you, Katy. I thought it was sexy. It was working for me. 295 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,480 I wrote some of your sexy phrases down. "Oh, come on, Ed! 296 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:19,880 "Get that measured. Mark it up. Come on. Check! Check! Check! Go, check!" 297 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:26,120 The thing I've noticed is that it really matters to Ed to win this. 298 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,760 It's coming out there, I think, that desperation. 299 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,360 I don't think it's desperation, I think it's just dedication. 300 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,080 Of course it is. 301 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,800 Was the bin shut when he threw it? Of course it was. OK. 302 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:37,360 What's the wording of the task? 303 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,280 "The bin must be closed when you throw your item." Closed. 304 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,040 It's a pedal bin. I pressed the pedal... What is the lid? 305 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,800 As the rules for international bin chuck have not yet been 306 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,960 established, I'm gonna tell you now that if the bin lid is closed, 307 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,640 the bin is closed. 308 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:54,080 But what is a bin lid? I know about bins. In England, in our sheds, 309 00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:57,360 we have posters of all different types of bins. 310 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:08,680 Desperation. Dedication, David! 311 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,760 It's too butch now. 312 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:14,480 Too... I have never been accused of being too butch. 313 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,680 You've cracked it tonight. Yeah, the butch boy threw it 314 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,840 five adult Shaqs and one two-year-old Shaqs - 315 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,600 12.40m. 12 metres! 316 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,320 OK, just need to check - 317 00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:31,280 if you don't have a distance, do you get a point? 318 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,200 If you don't have any distance at all? Yes. 319 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,240 He means me. David didn't get a distance. Didn't get a distance. 320 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,040 The old Baddiel pity point. 321 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:42,680 Give the man a point. You're so kind. I'll take the pity point. 322 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:46,040 One pity point to David, two to Katy, three to Rose, 323 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,600 four to Jo Brand and five to Ed Gamble! 324 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,040 Now, then, can I see a nice, big scoreboard, please? You can. 325 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,680 David is in last place, with three, 326 00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:01,320 but we have two people in first place. Scoreboard, project! 327 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:03,800 It's Ed and Jo on nine points. Hey! 328 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,320 What do we have next? 329 00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:13,320 This one is about making the best song in the world even better. 330 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,960 Hi. Oh, hello, Rose. 331 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,360 I'm already annoyed with this one. Because? 332 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,560 Because there's music here and I can't read music, 333 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,200 and I have no musical talent. 334 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:42,640 "Write the best lyrics to the Taskmaster theme tune..." 335 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:46,280 "and perform them in the most memorable way." 336 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,560 "You have 30 minutes. Your time starts now." 337 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,440 OK, I have to tell you something. Mm-hm. 338 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,480 Never watched Taskmaster. Right. 339 00:20:56,480 --> 00:21:00,200 What do you think the theme tune is? Uh... can't really recall. 340 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,536 Are we allowed to play it or is that why I've got the music? 341 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:03,840 How do you think it goes? 342 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:07,000 No, cos, every time I do it, I end up singing League Of Gentlemen. 343 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:10,680 Uh, there's some music here. I do read music. 344 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:14,200 You've had a number one. Yeah, I did. Four times. 345 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,920 ♪ Taskmaster's... ♪ 346 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,400 Oh, bollocks. 347 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,920 ♪ Duh, duh-duh-duh 348 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,280 ♪ Duuh, duuh-duuh-duuh... ♪ 349 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,600 ♪ Duh, duh-duh-duh... ♪ 350 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,880 It's Casualty, I think, isn't it? 351 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:39,320 At least one person here has got four number ones to his name, 352 00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:42,760 so this is gonna be incredible. But first we're stopping. 353 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:47,000 Part two, be gone! We have liftoff! 354 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:03,240 Hello! Welcome back to part three of Taskmaster. 355 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,560 That music sounded familiar, Alex. Yes, it does. 356 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,760 Sadly, we usually only get to hear it eight times a show, 357 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,720 but, as a special treat, we're hearing it 13 times today 358 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,560 because the task is to write the lyrics for it. 359 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,640 Would you like to start with the hit-maker David Baddiel? 360 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,880 Oh, Daddy Four Ones? 361 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,360 We're gonna start with Daddy Four Ones. 362 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,720 Here he is in action - David Baddiel. 363 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:28,400 ♪ Ta...♪ Sorry. One, two, three, four. 364 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:32,080 ♪ Taskmaster's on 365 00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:36,080 ♪ It is on now 366 00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:38,840 ♪ Taskmaster's on 367 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:42,480 ♪ It is not... ♪ 368 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,000 No, hang on. It's not how it is... 369 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,680 ♪ It is not How... ♪ 370 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:50,760 The programme from the 1970s with Fred Dinenage. 371 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,840 ♪ Taskmaster's on 372 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:58,840 ♪ Sit yourself down 373 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:03,080 ♪ On your sofa 374 00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:06,520 ♪ Right there in your own town. ♪ 375 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:14,200 Is it any wonder we never won the World Cup? 376 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,840 The quality of the song, I can deal with that quickly. OK. 377 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:23,320 But we are marking it on the way it being performed being memorable. 378 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,800 Most memorable performance. That was pretty memorable. 379 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:29,760 'He sight-read the music, he played it correctly. He didn't go and listen to the theme tune? 380 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:33,136 'He didn't leave the room at any point. Never listened to the theme tune at any point. 381 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,080 We'll come back to it. There were elements I enjoyed very much 382 00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:38,720 and I am impressed that you can sight-read music. 383 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,120 Yes, the bar is set at a height. OK. 384 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:45,600 Next up, it's rootin', tootin' Rose Matafeo. Whoo! 385 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,360 ♪ There was a country boy called Alex Horne 386 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,640 ♪ He had a heart of gold and a brain full of corn 387 00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,320 ♪ He made a task, sunrise to set 388 00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:01,520 ♪ To test the cows and the chickens and their intellect 389 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:03,560 ♪ Till one day he went to the big city 390 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,600 ♪ Met a tall old man named Greg Davies 391 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,480 ♪ He said, "I'm gonna put you on the TV 392 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,520 ♪ "Success'll be ours, I guarantee" 393 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:11,560 ♪ We'll get five guys and girls to play your game 394 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,400 ♪ Who'll all be at varying levels of fame 395 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,440 ♪ Alex shook his hand and the deal was done 396 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,480 ♪ Yee-haw, Greg, now we're gonna have some fun 397 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:19,360 ♪ So that's the story, truth be told 398 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:21,520 ♪ Of how little Alex Horne's little soul was sold 399 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:25,320 ♪ That's the tale told by me of how Taskmaster came to be. ♪ 400 00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:26,960 Yeeha! 401 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,400 Whoo! 402 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:42,320 I mean, that was so good it got a small group of pensioners 403 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:45,240 clapping along. That was genuinely amazing. 404 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,760 I'm not even angry that you referred to me as a tall "old man". 405 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,240 I forgot I said you had a brain full of corn. 406 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:58,120 I've heard worse insults during the series. 407 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,920 Was it an insult? No. Oh, thank you. 408 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,880 Next up is a contestant with the most apt name for the task - 409 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,880 it's Katy Ly-wix. 410 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,240 ♪ Greg is so wise 411 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,880 ♪ And very tall 412 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,440 ♪ Alex is fine 413 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:20,240 ♪ Not quite as tall 414 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,520 ♪ Will there be eggs? 415 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,560 ♪ I like tasks with eggs 416 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,800 ♪ This is the song 417 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:29,880 ♪ That plays at the start 418 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,960 ♪ Good luck to all the people taking part in tasks today. ♪ 419 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,680 I've given myself a stitch. 420 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,400 I'm tall and wise, you're not quite as tall. 421 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,880 No, she rhymed tall with tall, in the end. Oh, did she? 422 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,720 It does rhyme. Did you rhyme eggs with eggs? 423 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,920 Yeah. Yes, she did. 424 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,800 Quite a strict rhyming scheme. 425 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,520 I made my point. Oh, my God, that's gonna take some beating. 426 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:04,520 Right, OK. Well, it's Jo now and Jo has company. 427 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:06,600 One, two, three, four. 428 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,880 ♪ Alex is great 429 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,200 ♪ Greg's just a twat 430 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,000 ♪ Alex is thin 431 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,720 ♪ Greg's really fat 432 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:19,240 ♪ Alex goes, "Whoo!" 433 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,520 ♪ Greg just goes, "Splat!" 434 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,600 ♪ If I don't win 435 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,080 ♪ You're toast. ♪ 436 00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:30,680 One point. 437 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,560 Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 438 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,080 Oh, you're gonna get merked. 439 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:46,160 "Just a twat". "Alex is thin". Yeah. "Greg is just fat". Yeah. 440 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,680 So she has rhymed different words... "How was work today?" 441 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,720 "Yeah, not too bad. Someone called me fat." 442 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,960 "Oh, that's not very nice. Who was it?" "Jo Brand." 443 00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:03,560 It was part of the rhyme. I couldn't think of anything else. 444 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,680 Yeah, it was twat that came first, wasn't it? Yeah. "Just a twat". 445 00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:07,920 Er... 446 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:13,480 Oh, dear. Can I go home? No, you can't, you can 447 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:17,240 just settle down and look forward to the lack of points. 448 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,600 Who's next? Well, it means that Ed is last again. 449 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:24,360 He chose his style of singing because he thinks the theme tune 450 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,960 sounds like a certain someone making a noise in a certain way, 451 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,960 so we're gonna see Ed representing that certain someone now. 452 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,040 ♪ Where is my mum? 453 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,760 ♪ Where has she gone? 454 00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:43,440 ♪ Waah, waah-waah-waah 455 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,120 ♪ I'm a big baby 456 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:48,600 ♪ Please hurry, Mum 457 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,280 ♪ I feel sad 458 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,080 ♪ I need my milk 459 00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:56,000 ♪ I've soiled myself 460 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:59,040 ♪ Oh, here comes my mum, thank God for that. ♪ 461 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,240 Jesus Christ. 462 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:18,440 You think the Taskmaster theme sounds like a baby crying? 463 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,360 ♪ Waah, waah-waah-waah 464 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,760 ♪ Waah, waah-waah-waah. ♪ 465 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,360 Was there any rhymes? No. Did we have to rhyme? 466 00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:28,280 No, no, you had to demonstrate some musical skill, but, I mean, 467 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:31,120 don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the lovely little baby sitting on the 468 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:33,960 hedge and the mum coming out and giving him a little kiss. 469 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,320 Right, you've seen all five. All right. 470 00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:40,680 One point - guess what - Jo Brand. Two points, David Baddiel. 471 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:44,520 Three points to Katy. Four points to... 472 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,880 ♪ Waah, waah-waah-waah. ♪ Lovely baby. 473 00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:50,720 Because the most rounded performance and beautiful song was, of course, 474 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:52,760 five points - Rose Matafeo! 475 00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,600 You know what I'd like right now? Oh, yes. 476 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:01,880 No, not that. 477 00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:06,280 I'd like another task, please. Sorry. Yes, here we go. 478 00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,480 There's a small black and white telly. 479 00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:22,800 I used to have one like that when I was a student. 480 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,400 "Supply the sound for this film." 481 00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:28,480 "Supply the sound for this film." 482 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:32,080 "You will have one chance to perform all the sounds in time with the film 483 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:35,320 "in exactly 20 minutes from now." OK, so we want time... 484 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,800 We need to make a note of times. 485 00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:41,320 What have we got? We've got a duck. Start off with duck. 486 00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,000 Duck. Quack, quack, quack. 487 00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:46,840 When Alex looks at the lake, he sort of breathes out. 488 00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:50,320 Crunching. Shoe. A scream. 489 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,560 There's a man coming out of a bush. 490 00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,080 Bush noises. Beep-beep. Beep-beep. 491 00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:56,560 Running. Running. 492 00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:00,040 Splash. Splashing of water. Splash, another splash. 493 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,000 He's blowing the whistle, fweeeeeee. 494 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,320 And then laughing. Laughing. Two laughs. 495 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:09,360 Three claps, two clicks, one clink. Clink of beer at the end. 496 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:13,760 Do you think we should do some inappropriate noises? Yes. 497 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:17,760 But quite badly. I'm perfectly happy to do any noises 498 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,040 that suggest that Alex has shat himself. 499 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:33,656 'Do you want me to tell you what the movie's called? I wrote, directed and starred in it. Oh, yes, please. 500 00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:37,840 The Wild Thing Rides Again. 501 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,800 We're gonna start with the shouty ones and Katy. 502 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:42,680 Here we go, it's a team of three. 503 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,360 Maybe someone needs to be in charge of the voices 504 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:48,120 and someone needs to be in charge of this, the shoes. 505 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:51,240 Yeah. So who's doing duck quacking? Um, do you wanna do the...? 506 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:52,760 I'll do duck quacking. OK. 507 00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,840 I burst the balloon and then a kind of prrft noise. I'll do that. 508 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,720 We're just gonna have to be on it. Just go with the flow. 509 00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:07,280 Quack, quack, quack, quack. 510 00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:37,920 Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! 511 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,400 Beep-beep. BELL DINGS 512 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:09,080 Ha-huh! 513 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:18,480 Ah! 514 00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,120 Pretty much professional. 515 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:49,480 It was. The only slightly inaccurate thing was that, when the woman 516 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:54,000 at the end laughed, she laughed with the voice of three people... 517 00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:55,760 ..which was a bit creepy. 518 00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:58,360 Maybe that was part of the narrative. 519 00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:03,320 Yeah, she was possessed. She was a ghoul. Do the horn noise again. 520 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:04,880 Ha-huh! 521 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:09,200 Great. Quick break. 522 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:13,080 Hurry back because there is a fish poster to be won in part four. 523 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:27,800 Hello! Yes, it's another welcome back from me, Greg Davies, a big, 524 00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:31,400 juicy steak of a man, with all the trimmings and none of the salad. 525 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:32,920 Before the break... 526 00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:39,520 ..there was some good, old-fashioned foley going on, wasn't there? 527 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,120 Ha-huh! 528 00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:44,280 Yes, we've seen Ed, Rose and Katy show us how it's done. 529 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:46,960 Now it's the turn of my favourite double act - Brand and Baddiel. 530 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,440 Here we go. 531 00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,320 What are we gonna do for that noise? What noise? I can just go, 532 00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:54,200 beep-boop. Yeah, do that. Beep-boop. Right. Party popper. 533 00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:55,480 What are we using for that? 534 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,640 {\an1}I thought you were gonna go... 535 00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:59,600 Oh, yeah. HER CHEEK POPS 536 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:01,600 And when he's on that shall, I just go...? 537 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:05,376 Yeah, if you like. I don't really wanna do that. Yeah, do that. 538 00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,960 Here we go. Right, then. So... 539 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,080 Here we go. OK. Lovely day. 540 00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:15,120 Quack, quack, quack, quack. Quack, quack. 541 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:25,080 OK. 542 00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:34,960 Where's my whistle? Where's...? 543 00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:46,360 Oh. Rustle, rustle. 544 00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:50,120 Beep-boop. 545 00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,000 Oh, pop. Oh, sorry. Splash. 546 00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:59,200 Rustle, rustle. 547 00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:05,240 More leaves, more leaves, more leaves. 548 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:09,440 OK, lands on the bike - plop. Not that. That's the... 549 00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:11,440 Where's the bell? BELL DINGS 550 00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:12,720 Oh, God. 551 00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:16,600 Waah, baah! 552 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:24,360 Frightening man, frightening man. 553 00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,680 Oh! Oh. Oh, thank heavens. 554 00:35:31,720 --> 00:35:33,800 Ahhhh. Whistle. 555 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,240 Thank you very much. Thank you very much. 556 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,840 I still think we'll do better than the young 'uns. 557 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:09,160 I mean, it was genuinely really good. Thank you very much. 558 00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,160 But there was some unusual decisions. 559 00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:12,800 When Alex opened his car, 560 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:16,600 I wasn't expecting it to be quite such a literal beep-boop. 561 00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,000 But what about the backing? 562 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:21,960 We had a backing track, which they didn't have. I'm coming onto that. 563 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:25,240 David did put a mood track on. It seemed like a silent film to me 564 00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:28,520 and therefore it needed a musical soundtrack. It was a silent film. 565 00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:30,720 Yeah, it was. Well-spotted, Dave. 566 00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:34,000 It was literally a silent film. Yeah. 567 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:39,040 I thought my scream was a tiny bit more anguished than Rose's scream. 568 00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:43,080 It was. OK. But who's to say how much the character was screaming? 569 00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:47,400 Pretend to scream right now, me versus David. OK. OK? Perfect. 570 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:49,440 Yeah, OK. OK, open your... I'll do mine. 571 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,720 These will be short, sharp screams. Yeah. 572 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:56,040 Oh, yes! 573 00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:01,680 Was that good? Three, two, one. 574 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:09,200 A hair's breadth between them. Both powerful. 575 00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:10,840 That's not solved anything. 576 00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:13,320 Do you wanna hear what it should've sounded like? Yeah. 577 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,560 You can't scream, that's right! 578 00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,560 Never been able to scream. Haven't you? 579 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:22,080 Whistling and screaming, can't do it. You can't scream. 580 00:37:30,720 --> 00:37:32,520 Oh, man, that's really hard. 581 00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:34,840 I enjoyed them both for different reasons. 582 00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,360 It's best soundtrack. It's best soundtrack. 583 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:41,480 All right, I'll give the young people three, old people two. There. 584 00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:47,840 Are you still keeping track of the scores? 585 00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:52,320 I'll do the series scores first of all. Yeah. 586 00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:55,080 David, you're very nearly on triple figures - on 96 points! 587 00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:57,640 Oh, that's exciting. 588 00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:01,320 And, after that, it's pretty tight. Rose is on 126. 589 00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,880 Katy and Jo both on 127. 590 00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:08,640 Ed's got a slight lead now - 134. Ooh. 591 00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:11,000 Ed. 592 00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,880 He's catchable, though, right? He's catchable. He's catchable. 593 00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:16,520 Oh, Ed Gamble's always catchable. He's catchable. 594 00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,720 And it's the same leader and loser in this episode. 595 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:21,520 We have David on seven points, 596 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:24,040 but the leader is Ed with 16 points. Yeah! 597 00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:30,440 Right. Up you get to the stage for the final task of the show. 598 00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:44,000 Five lovely guys with lovely helmets on. You! 599 00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:45,960 Who's gonna read the task out? 600 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,040 Jo Brand's gonna read this one out, please. 601 00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:54,880 "Without adjusting your welder's mask at any point, 602 00:38:54,920 --> 00:39:00,080 "draw your own face on the front of your welder's mask. 603 00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:03,840 "Your face should be the same size as your face 604 00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:09,400 "and either very angry or very happy. 605 00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:14,920 "Most detailed and accurate face wins. You have three minutes." 606 00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:18,920 OK, so if you could pull your visors over your actual faces, please. 607 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:23,000 How do I look angry? Is that angry? I don't know. Good luck. 608 00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:26,200 Your three minutes starts... 609 00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:37,160 Oh, it doesn't rub out! 610 00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:40,120 Which bit of you doesn't rub out? My nose. 611 00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:52,360 Happy or angry, Katy? Happy, obviously. Happy. 612 00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:55,200 Happy or angry? Happy. OK. 613 00:39:55,240 --> 00:39:56,720 I think I've finished. 614 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,040 You're finished all right. 615 00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:09,320 Oh, this ear's too far off. 616 00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:14,200 You have ten seconds left. 617 00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:17,680 Nine, eight, seven... 618 00:40:17,720 --> 00:40:23,560 Six, five, four, three, two, one. 619 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,680 WHISTLE PEEPS Pens down. 620 00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:31,720 Which end would you like me to start with, Greg? 621 00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:35,400 I think we'll start with Rose. OK. 622 00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,400 Hello, Rose. Hello. 623 00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:41,160 You're gonna compare this face to her face. Yes. 624 00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:42,960 She's happy, correct? 625 00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,560 It's detailed. OK. 626 00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:53,560 It's not that accurate. 627 00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:55,960 Next helmet. Next helmet. 628 00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:57,880 Hello, Katy. Hello. 629 00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:01,360 Thank you. Pleasure. 630 00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:07,360 Wow! Pretty good. 631 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:11,920 Detailed, accurate. Next, Greg? Jo Brand, please. 632 00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:14,200 I presume you're angry. 633 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:23,920 Yeah, you're grumpy all right. 634 00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:25,600 You're doing it yourself. 635 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:28,200 Is that all right? It is my job, but... 636 00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:31,600 Yeah, it's all right. 637 00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:36,000 Hello, David. 638 00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,840 He's up on the yellow bit. OK. 639 00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:55,360 It looks... I think it looks quite like him. Yeah. 640 00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:58,280 You've gotta judge them, Greg. All right, you ready? 641 00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,040 I'm giving Jo and David three points each. 642 00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:02,640 Oh. 643 00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:04,920 Happy with that. 644 00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:08,400 I'm giving Ed and Rose four points each. 645 00:42:12,240 --> 00:42:16,800 But there's a runaway winner here and she's both happy and demure. 646 00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:19,840 I will give five points to Katy Wix. 647 00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:26,560 Come back down, we'll add that to the final scores. 648 00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:37,600 Well, that will have affected things, won't it? 649 00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:41,120 It has affected the scores. Jo and Katy come in joint third, 650 00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:45,080 Rose in second, David last, and Ed Gamble wins the show with 20 points! 651 00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:51,200 Ed Gamble is tonight's winner. 652 00:42:51,240 --> 00:42:55,040 Please go and show off your shedload of prizes! 653 00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:00,560 So, what have we learned today? 654 00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:03,280 We've learnt that if David Baddiel's face was made 655 00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:05,160 into a sculpture by Jo Brand's dad 656 00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:09,920 then it should instantly be locked into a SHID and the key thrown away. 657 00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:12,600 Let's all sod off and grab a nightcap, 658 00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:18,480 but not before saluting tonight's winner one more time - Ed Gamble! 659 00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:44,960 Subtitles by Red Bee Media