1 00:00:34,370 --> 00:00:35,520 Hello! 2 00:00:36,930 --> 00:00:42,440 I am Greg Davies. Welcome to the Taskmaster series four grand final! 3 00:00:45,570 --> 00:00:48,370 It has been an incredibly competitive series, 4 00:00:48,370 --> 00:00:50,430 complete with some of the most brilliant 5 00:00:50,430 --> 00:00:53,130 and disturbing task attempts we've ever seen. 6 00:00:53,130 --> 00:00:55,730 But what a journey our five comedians have been on. 7 00:00:55,730 --> 00:01:00,110 Roughly an hour in an executive car from their homes to the studios. 8 00:01:00,110 --> 00:01:01,330 The poor things. 9 00:01:01,330 --> 00:01:02,930 Still... 10 00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:06,480 They should, on the whole, be very proud of themselves. 11 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,800 Before too long, one of them will take home 12 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,060 the whole reason for being here. 13 00:01:11,060 --> 00:01:13,130 Me. In head form. 14 00:01:15,060 --> 00:01:16,750 Shall we meet our finalists? 15 00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:18,460 Yes. They are... 16 00:01:18,460 --> 00:01:20,450 Hugh Dennis! 17 00:01:20,450 --> 00:01:22,485 Joe Lycett! 18 00:01:22,485 --> 00:01:25,020 Lolly Adefope! 19 00:01:25,020 --> 00:01:27,030 Mel Giedroyc! 20 00:01:27,030 --> 00:01:29,550 And Noel Fielding! 21 00:01:32,730 --> 00:01:36,280 And for the last time this series, who's on my left? 22 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:39,880 - ♪ It's little Alex Hooorne ♪ - Alex Horne. Alex Horne. 23 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,710 How are you, you irritating little chicken? 24 00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:51,860 Good. Excited about the final. 25 00:01:51,860 --> 00:01:52,280 Yeah? 26 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,770 I thought I could try an anecdote for the first time. 27 00:01:54,770 --> 00:01:55,660 Oh, that'll be nice. 28 00:01:55,660 --> 00:01:57,150 - Recently... - Yep? 29 00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:59,150 I had a close shave, 'cause I was quite naughty, 30 00:01:59,150 --> 00:02:00,510 which I know you don't like. 31 00:02:00,510 --> 00:02:02,200 And then I had to have a taste of my own medicine, 32 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,170 but it was fine, because it was my own medicine, 33 00:02:04,170 --> 00:02:06,040 and it was penicillin, and I quite like penicillin. 34 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,350 That's my anecdote. 35 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:19,020 So, Alex, let's start the show properly. 36 00:02:19,020 --> 00:02:21,110 What's the final prize category? 37 00:02:21,110 --> 00:02:22,310 I'm so sorry. It's a big one. 38 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,370 It's a big one. It's big. 39 00:02:23,370 --> 00:02:26,550 This time we've asked them to bring in, for the prize, 40 00:02:26,550 --> 00:02:28,450 the most cash. 41 00:02:28,450 --> 00:02:29,440 OK? 42 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,750 Woo! 43 00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:33,930 Here we go. So, whoever has brought in the most cash 44 00:02:33,930 --> 00:02:36,530 will get in the first five points of the show. 45 00:02:36,530 --> 00:02:39,550 Whoever wins the episode will bring home the bacon. 46 00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:41,350 As in, all the cash. OK? 47 00:02:41,350 --> 00:02:43,800 Yep, good. Let's start. Hugh? 48 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:47,130 Now, I'm presuming that you are ludicrously rich. 49 00:02:47,130 --> 00:02:49,280 So you will have brought a vast amount of cash. 50 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,020 I have brought with me... 51 00:02:51,020 --> 00:02:53,250 two million. 52 00:02:53,250 --> 00:02:55,660 Vietnamese dong. 53 00:02:57,530 --> 00:03:00,140 We can see Hugh's dong. There it is. 54 00:03:00,140 --> 00:03:03,820 How lovely to see your dong blown up on a screen. 55 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,910 How much are Hugh's dongs worth? 56 00:03:07,910 --> 00:03:10,640 Well, it's two million dong there. It's worth £72.20. 57 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:12,060 - Oh. - Hmm. 58 00:03:12,060 --> 00:03:14,220 Seventy-two pounds. Thanks, Hugh. 59 00:03:14,220 --> 00:03:16,950 For securing last place. 60 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:20,500 - Who's next? Joe? - Yes. 61 00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,400 I have brought in... 62 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,200 two hundred and fifty... 63 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,060 English sterling pounds. 64 00:03:28,020 --> 00:03:29,800 - Wooo! - Simple as that? 65 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,540 Not as simple as that. 66 00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:34,170 It is in pennies. 67 00:03:36,460 --> 00:03:38,660 - It's a lot of cash. - It's a lot of cash. 68 00:03:39,550 --> 00:03:40,930 Most cash. 69 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,460 It weight 89 kilograms. 70 00:03:48,310 --> 00:03:49,820 Well done, you know, I mean... 71 00:03:49,820 --> 00:03:52,620 - It's a lot of cash. - That's £250. 72 00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:53,400 Noel? 73 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:58,600 What I was thinking was, "Why don't I invent my own currency?" 74 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:02,600 So I've invented the note and I've spent a long time painting it. 75 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,750 That's really good. 76 00:04:08,750 --> 00:04:11,495 - I think I've nailed Alex. - Mm-hm. 77 00:04:11,495 --> 00:04:14,450 I've given Greg too much neck, sorry. 78 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,750 But how much is it worth? 79 00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:20,020 Can you put a price on how happy we are, 80 00:04:20,020 --> 00:04:22,950 massaging our egos, making us feel good about ourselves? 81 00:04:22,950 --> 00:04:24,710 We've both got crushingly low self-esteem. 82 00:04:24,710 --> 00:04:26,000 Haven't you? 83 00:04:28,660 --> 00:04:29,440 Mel? 84 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:33,440 Now... I'm part of a sort of poker circle. 85 00:04:34,350 --> 00:04:36,580 - With Mary Berry... - Yeah? 86 00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:39,600 - Judith Chalmers. - Chalmers? 87 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:40,930 Rippon, Angela. 88 00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:43,200 Oh, Rippon. Nasty piece of work. 89 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,370 - Yeah. - Always carries a blade. 90 00:04:45,370 --> 00:04:46,710 Exactly. 91 00:04:46,710 --> 00:04:49,970 We were having a very intense poker circle night. 92 00:04:49,970 --> 00:04:50,460 Yeah? 93 00:04:50,460 --> 00:04:56,110 I came away with nearly a million pounds of the realm. 94 00:04:56,110 --> 00:04:57,240 - Check it out, gang. - Mm-hm. 95 00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:58,730 - It's for real. - What?! 96 00:04:58,730 --> 00:05:00,600 - A million pounds? - Nearly a million. 97 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:01,800 Genuine...? 98 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,350 Well, yeah, the top layer is genuine, yeah. 99 00:05:04,350 --> 00:05:06,460 - The top layer is genuine. - OK. 100 00:05:06,460 --> 00:05:07,280 And the catch? 101 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:10,570 And then underneath that, there is Monopoly money. 102 00:05:11,730 --> 00:05:14,970 But it is genuinely £987,000 103 00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:16,220 - of Monopoly money. - Exactly. 104 00:05:16,220 --> 00:05:18,080 - It's 48 board games' worth. - Thank you. 105 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:21,420 - There was also £250. - It's £240 on the top. 106 00:05:21,420 --> 00:05:22,990 £240 on top, real money. 107 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,880 OK, that puts her just below Joe Lycett's coppers. 108 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,970 True, and if she hadn't spent all the money on the Monopoly boards, 109 00:05:28,970 --> 00:05:32,550 Well, she spent £815.12 on the Monopoly sets. 110 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:41,570 Lolly? 111 00:05:41,570 --> 00:05:44,820 So, what I've done is I've brought in a blank cheque, 112 00:05:44,820 --> 00:05:48,880 and I'm just gonna put 1p more than whoever is in the lead. 113 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:50,950 And just... just win. 114 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:54,010 There's the cheque. Have a look. 115 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:56,970 Yeah, but are you good for it, Lolly? 116 00:05:56,970 --> 00:05:58,150 - What have you got? - Oh, yes. 117 00:05:58,150 --> 00:05:59,060 What cash have you got? 118 00:05:59,060 --> 00:06:01,630 Well, I'm sitting on £2,000. 119 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:04,840 - What d'you mean? - In cash. 120 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:05,840 What?! 121 00:06:07,620 --> 00:06:10,370 I just thought, "Just have a backup." 122 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,480 - Have two grand. - So I've emptied out... 123 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:21,180 Lolly! Very strong. 124 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,060 Alright, then. Does that help you make your mind up? 125 00:06:30,060 --> 00:06:31,130 - Yeah. - Well, good. 126 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:33,220 Fifth place? 127 00:06:33,220 --> 00:06:36,460 Well, this is gonna be a big surprise to you. 128 00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:37,460 Ding dong. 129 00:06:40,260 --> 00:06:42,950 Mel, I'm really sorry, but you come in fourth place, 130 00:06:42,950 --> 00:06:44,220 'cause it's not real money. 131 00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:45,800 Noel, I'm putting you in third place. 132 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,640 It's brilliant, but it's not legal tender. 133 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,260 Joe, second. It's the second most cash. 134 00:06:50,260 --> 00:06:52,600 This is the most cash. Lolly is the winner. 135 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,330 OK. Five points to Lolly Adefope. 136 00:06:59,060 --> 00:07:00,950 OK, Greg, before the first task, 137 00:07:00,950 --> 00:07:03,130 shall I update you on the series scoreboard? 138 00:07:03,130 --> 00:07:03,970 OK, Alex. 139 00:07:03,970 --> 00:07:06,820 OK, so, in fifth place, Mel Giedroyc. 140 00:07:06,820 --> 00:07:10,510 Lolly's off last place for the first time in the whole series. 141 00:07:13,730 --> 00:07:19,800 It goes Mel on 115, Hugh and Lolly on 117, 142 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:23,240 Joe on 124 and Noel on 127. It's close. 143 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:25,095 - Very close. - Oooh! 144 00:07:25,095 --> 00:07:27,070 Woo-hoo-hoo! 145 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:29,060 OK, Alex. What have we got first? 146 00:07:29,060 --> 00:07:30,580 It's lunch time. 147 00:07:41,860 --> 00:07:43,080 Hel-- Ooh. 148 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:44,430 Now, there's exciting. 149 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:46,910 Ahhh. 150 00:07:46,910 --> 00:07:49,950 It's a hat. You just don't understand fashion. 151 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,510 I'm ready for the party. 152 00:07:55,150 --> 00:07:57,350 "Make the most exotic sandwich." 153 00:07:57,350 --> 00:08:00,550 "You have ten minutes to plan your exotic sandwich..." 154 00:08:00,550 --> 00:08:02,480 "then ten minutes to construct it." 155 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,405 "Your time starts now." 156 00:08:05,405 --> 00:08:06,870 Right. 157 00:08:09,150 --> 00:08:10,840 What do you think "exotic" means? 158 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:13,620 That, to me, says maybe fillings that have 159 00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:15,940 never been seen in a sandwich before. 160 00:08:16,710 --> 00:08:17,810 Um... 161 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:19,940 OK. 162 00:08:19,940 --> 00:08:23,195 So, what I would like, please, is... 163 00:08:23,195 --> 00:08:25,660 Some Moroccan flatbread... 164 00:08:25,660 --> 00:08:26,940 Turkish delight. 165 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,645 That's very exotic. 166 00:08:28,645 --> 00:08:32,800 Get me some wholemeal bread and maybe some pita bread as well. 167 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,860 Wholemeal, though. I'm not an idiot. 168 00:08:34,860 --> 00:08:36,770 So, I need a kumquat. 169 00:08:36,770 --> 00:08:39,285 A Gregg's sausage roll. 170 00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:41,040 Kiwi fruit. 171 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,130 - Let's go all sweet. - Mm-hm. 172 00:08:43,130 --> 00:08:46,205 Heck. Everyone's gonna go savoury, aren't they? 173 00:08:46,205 --> 00:08:48,400 Some smoked trout. 174 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,040 Then a Crunchie bar. 175 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,910 Then a Kit-Kat. 176 00:08:51,910 --> 00:08:53,570 Then a Double Decker. 177 00:08:53,570 --> 00:08:54,870 Oh, a yam. 178 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,380 Tequila. Some tequila. 179 00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,870 What they eat in France. 180 00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:01,970 Er, croissants. 181 00:09:01,970 --> 00:09:03,510 OK. I'll go shopping. 182 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:04,060 OK. 183 00:09:04,060 --> 00:09:05,550 - Shall I come with you? - No, thank you. 184 00:09:05,550 --> 00:09:06,770 - Do you need money? - No. 185 00:09:06,770 --> 00:09:07,220 OK. 186 00:09:07,220 --> 00:09:08,130 Bag for Life? 187 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:09,230 See you later. 188 00:09:16,550 --> 00:09:17,840 I wanna start with Mel. 189 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:21,750 She looked very excited and I'm keen to see her sandwich. 190 00:09:21,750 --> 00:09:23,640 OK. She did say, before she started, 191 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:25,710 "I want to blow the Taskmaster's tiny mind." 192 00:09:25,710 --> 00:09:26,810 Here we go. 193 00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:31,750 This is so good. 194 00:09:31,750 --> 00:09:32,770 Alright. 195 00:09:32,770 --> 00:09:34,000 Chocolate spread. 196 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,240 Good layer of the Chocolate Orange. 197 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:37,620 Little breadski. 198 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:40,040 Double Deckers. 199 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:41,530 Bit more of the Nutella. 200 00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:43,180 Let's go for the Crunchie. 201 00:09:44,110 --> 00:09:44,970 Three minutes. 202 00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:47,080 Three minutes?! Wah! 203 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:48,750 Let's do some M&Ms. 204 00:09:48,750 --> 00:09:50,985 Phwoar. 205 00:09:50,985 --> 00:09:52,550 Malties. 206 00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:56,750 I can see why people get stressed out on these cookery shows. 207 00:09:56,750 --> 00:10:00,090 This is absolutely appallingly stressful. 208 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,680 Just bronzing up the marshmallows. 209 00:10:05,775 --> 00:10:09,300 That, to me, is like a sort of Japanese pagoda. 210 00:10:10,950 --> 00:10:12,280 Can I give you this as well, Mel? 211 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:13,750 - Yes. - Just to say thank you. 212 00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:15,080 - Is that for me? - Yes. 213 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:16,180 Thank you. 214 00:10:19,970 --> 00:10:22,460 "Eat your exotic sandwich. Fastest wins." 215 00:10:28,630 --> 00:10:30,330 Final line, please, Mel. 216 00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:35,200 What's the task say, Mel? 217 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,850 - "Time starts now." - OK. 218 00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:39,580 Oh, gang. 219 00:11:04,820 --> 00:11:06,310 Something's gone up my nose. 220 00:11:07,970 --> 00:11:09,660 I've got something up my nose. 221 00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:11,540 - Let's see. - Something's gone up my nose! 222 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,370 It's... 223 00:11:13,370 --> 00:11:14,330 What is it, mate? 224 00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:15,310 It's an M&M. 225 00:11:15,310 --> 00:11:16,310 Is it? 226 00:11:22,860 --> 00:11:24,280 I can't do any more than that. 227 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:25,110 Stop the clock? 228 00:11:25,110 --> 00:11:26,400 Mm-hm. 229 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,300 Those showbiz nights, eh? 230 00:11:37,220 --> 00:11:38,660 Snorting M&Ms. 231 00:11:38,660 --> 00:11:39,460 Only blue ones. 232 00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:41,570 - Only blue, of course. - Only blue ones. 233 00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:44,160 Is it exotic, that sandwich? It's sort of... 234 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,330 I mean, it's instant diabetes, isn't it? 235 00:11:47,730 --> 00:11:49,080 Well, I suppose so. It was... 236 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,840 Turkish delight, Crunchie, Kit-Kat, Double Decker, 237 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,600 Twix, Snickers, M&Ms, icing sugar, marshmallows, 238 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,710 chocolate eggs, Chocolate Oranges, Nutella and a blowtorch. 239 00:11:54,710 --> 00:11:57,640 I suppose it's sort of exotic. 240 00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,460 So you're gonna judge the most exotic and then I'll tell you... 241 00:11:59,460 --> 00:12:01,860 It was meant to be who can eat their sandwich the fastest. 242 00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:04,855 I can reveal nobody finished their sandwich. 243 00:12:04,855 --> 00:12:07,840 So it's who ate the most of their sandwich. 244 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:11,080 You ate four good-sized bites, essentially one Double-Decker, 245 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:12,680 and you inhaled the M&M. 246 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,040 It's gotta be a bonus, a nasal M&M, hasn't it? 247 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:17,320 Always. 248 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:21,060 OK, I'm pressing pause with one of my massive thumbs. 249 00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:24,140 Come back to us soon to see celebrities eating things. 250 00:12:34,260 --> 00:12:35,710 Hello! 251 00:12:35,710 --> 00:12:39,110 Welcome back to the final of Taskmaster. What was going down, Alex? 252 00:12:39,110 --> 00:12:41,440 Well, bits of sandwich were going down, Greg. 253 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:44,440 They've been making exotic sandwiches with exotic ingredients. 254 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:46,610 But we've recently found out from Mel, 255 00:12:46,610 --> 00:12:49,550 there was a dramatic second part to the task. 256 00:12:49,550 --> 00:12:55,150 OK. Here are Hugh, Joe and Lolly, the savoury sandwich-makers. 257 00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,550 It's sandwich tiiime. 258 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,950 Add a bit of halloumi there. 259 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,660 Put the meat in first. 260 00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:10,120 Put the lamb bhuna sauce. 261 00:13:11,350 --> 00:13:12,420 Salmon. 262 00:13:12,420 --> 00:13:14,740 I mean, ideally the yam would've been cooked. 263 00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:16,960 Pomegranate. Lovely. 264 00:13:19,260 --> 00:13:20,910 Just banana and kiwi. 265 00:13:20,910 --> 00:13:22,320 You don't need much tequila. 266 00:13:24,330 --> 00:13:25,960 Little bit of that sausage roll there. 267 00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:34,660 Oh. 268 00:13:34,660 --> 00:13:36,910 That's all the smoked trout. 269 00:13:37,930 --> 00:13:39,600 And the Arctic roll. 270 00:13:45,260 --> 00:13:46,260 I think that's it. 271 00:13:47,750 --> 00:13:49,150 Well, well done. I've got this for you as well. 272 00:13:49,150 --> 00:13:50,720 Thank you so much. Thank you. 273 00:13:56,110 --> 00:13:57,900 You fucking prick. 274 00:13:59,330 --> 00:14:00,330 No! 275 00:14:00,330 --> 00:14:01,730 What does it say, Lolly? 276 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,870 It says, "Eat your exotic sandwich." 277 00:14:12,170 --> 00:14:14,760 "Fastest wins. Your time starts now." 278 00:14:16,770 --> 00:14:18,285 No! 279 00:14:18,285 --> 00:14:20,580 Beautiful. Well... 280 00:14:21,970 --> 00:14:23,070 Here we go. 281 00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:30,230 It's delicious. 282 00:14:41,860 --> 00:14:43,260 I think I'm done, though. 283 00:14:43,260 --> 00:14:44,440 - Yeah? - Yeah. 284 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:45,720 Stop the clock. 285 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,110 - That's how you eat it. - Oh, you've finished, have you? 286 00:14:48,110 --> 00:14:49,830 Mm, that's how you finish it. 287 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:51,730 All gone. 288 00:14:51,730 --> 00:14:54,150 Do you think the Taskmaster thinks you've eaten the sandwich? 289 00:14:54,150 --> 00:14:57,310 I'm not sure if he's ever had a Mother's Delight, so... 290 00:14:57,310 --> 00:15:00,670 If he wants to argue that that's not finished, then... 291 00:15:00,670 --> 00:15:02,280 that's up to him, isn't it? 292 00:15:03,060 --> 00:15:04,800 Hmm. Mother's Delight. 293 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:14,240 Joe, your sandwich, that amongst other ingredients... 294 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:16,800 had an Arctic roll and some trout... 295 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,750 Why was that called a Mother's Delight? 296 00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,460 'Cause Alex asked me what it was called, 297 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,910 and I, in a panic, said Mother's Delight. 298 00:15:26,950 --> 00:15:28,970 How were the corners of your Mother's Delight? 299 00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:30,080 Fucking horrible. 300 00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:34,680 Lolly, mainly prawns and frankfurters. 301 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:36,060 - Yep. - Mainly. 302 00:15:36,910 --> 00:15:38,040 I actually quite liked mine. 303 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:39,910 Yeah, you ate for six minutes. 304 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,150 And then Hugh. 305 00:15:49,150 --> 00:15:51,020 Hugh. Interesting. 306 00:15:51,020 --> 00:15:54,750 Well, I have divided it into two different sides of the sandwich. 307 00:15:54,750 --> 00:15:55,280 Right. 308 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:57,730 So the first half of the sandwich was, I believe... 309 00:15:57,730 --> 00:15:58,550 I can tell you, if you want. 310 00:15:58,550 --> 00:16:02,070 Sashimi, halloumi, wasabi peas... 311 00:16:02,070 --> 00:16:05,480 Parma ham and Moroccan flatbread. It was delicous. 312 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,240 It just sounds like I'd buy at Marks & Spencer's. 313 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,440 What fucking Marks & Spencer's do you go to? 314 00:16:13,770 --> 00:16:15,240 - Are you OK? - You can't get anything like that. 315 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:18,300 Yeah, I'm fine. I'm not used to someone raising their voice at me like that. 316 00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:21,370 My instinct is to jump on him like a puma. 317 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,000 In Hugh's favour, he did eat pretty much... 318 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,260 He tucked some away, threw some away, 319 00:16:28,260 --> 00:16:29,420 but he ate more than anyone else. 320 00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:32,250 Of course he did, 'cause it was just a normal sandwich. 321 00:16:34,020 --> 00:16:36,980 One person left. This is Noel Fielding's exotic sandwich. 322 00:16:37,770 --> 00:16:40,200 Well, I thought about an exotic sandwich, 323 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,600 and then I thought about how I could put a spin on that. 324 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:46,260 So I thought maybe an exotic dance sandwich. 325 00:16:46,260 --> 00:16:49,850 So I'll have to attach some bread to you. 326 00:16:49,850 --> 00:16:53,275 And get you to do a tiny exotic dance. 327 00:16:59,510 --> 00:17:01,280 Is that gonna work? Let go? 328 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,750 Ah, sort of. 329 00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:05,930 This is gonna be a powerful sandwich. 330 00:17:05,930 --> 00:17:08,480 It's more like a bread collage, really, when you think about it. 331 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,450 You look exotic, I would say. 332 00:17:11,220 --> 00:17:13,480 I'm just gonna get into position. 333 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,640 Look through my bready peep-hole. 334 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,220 Get ready to get turned on. 335 00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:18,320 Cue music. 336 00:17:26,130 --> 00:17:27,350 Why are you laughing? 337 00:17:33,370 --> 00:17:34,760 Woo! 338 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,280 Yeah? 339 00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:59,575 Beautiful, beautiful thing. 340 00:17:59,575 --> 00:18:01,770 Thank you so much. 341 00:18:01,770 --> 00:18:02,930 This is for you. 342 00:18:02,930 --> 00:18:04,260 Oh, this is amazing. 343 00:18:09,310 --> 00:18:12,730 "Eat your exotic sandwich." 344 00:18:12,730 --> 00:18:15,060 It's not that kind of show. 345 00:18:15,910 --> 00:18:17,330 How are we gonna do this? 346 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:18,930 I dunno, but your time starts now. 347 00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:21,740 OK. Just a nibble off the side. 348 00:18:24,350 --> 00:18:25,990 I don't have to eat the whole thing, do I? 349 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,140 Have a bit from the other side. 350 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,860 You've had a lot of the bread and not much of the filling. 351 00:18:34,660 --> 00:18:35,860 How are we gonna do this? 352 00:18:35,860 --> 00:18:37,700 Dunno. It was your idea. 353 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,210 Beard sandwich. 354 00:18:49,930 --> 00:18:50,710 Stop the clock. 355 00:18:50,710 --> 00:18:53,020 That's OK. Your beard's unbelievable. 356 00:18:53,020 --> 00:18:54,800 - Tastes like passion fruit. - Not ginger? 357 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,750 Lavender and Pot Noodle mixed together. 358 00:18:56,750 --> 00:18:58,060 Those are all good. 359 00:18:58,060 --> 00:18:59,420 - Nice. - Thank you. 360 00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:04,880 So good. 361 00:19:09,510 --> 00:19:11,060 Well, that was exotic, wasn't it? 362 00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:12,160 Mm-hm. 363 00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:16,530 I think I've literally never been further out of my comfort zone. 364 00:19:18,370 --> 00:19:20,650 The idea that he was made to do an erotic dance... 365 00:19:21,370 --> 00:19:24,280 I say "erotic", I once walked... 366 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,820 I accidentally walked in on my nan in the bath once. 367 00:19:26,820 --> 00:19:29,420 And that's the least erotic thing I've ever seen. 368 00:19:32,310 --> 00:19:34,280 He ate your old horrible beard. 369 00:19:36,130 --> 00:19:38,330 I'm giving Noel a bonus point for eating hair. 370 00:19:38,330 --> 00:19:40,530 I mean, you are aware that when we're at home, 371 00:19:40,530 --> 00:19:43,260 Alex is only allowed to move around like a snake. 372 00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:53,080 That beard is full of mouse droppings. 373 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,280 OK, here we go. 374 00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,730 - Least exotic? - Least exotic... 375 00:19:59,730 --> 00:20:03,610 ♪ He popped to M&S and he bought himself a sandwich ♪ 376 00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:06,240 ♪ Hugh Dennis ♪ 377 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,870 Mel, I loved your sandwich, 378 00:20:07,870 --> 00:20:10,940 but it's only exotic if you're five years of age. 379 00:20:11,910 --> 00:20:14,710 Lolly, absolutely horrific. 380 00:20:14,710 --> 00:20:16,660 - OK, third? - Third place. 381 00:20:16,660 --> 00:20:19,060 Second place, Joe. 382 00:20:19,060 --> 00:20:22,110 Combining trout and ice cream, very brave, 383 00:20:22,110 --> 00:20:25,065 but not as exotic as Mr Noel Fielding. 384 00:20:31,050 --> 00:20:34,240 There are extra points to be had for the amount consumed. 385 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:35,340 Yeah, and it is... 386 00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:37,770 exactly inversely proportional, 387 00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,060 and I guess this isn't surprising. 388 00:20:39,060 --> 00:20:40,860 You've given them five, four, three, two, one points. 389 00:20:40,860 --> 00:20:42,620 I've given them one, two, three, four, five points. 390 00:20:42,620 --> 00:20:45,180 So they each get six points, so there's no point doing any of it. 391 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:50,780 We all get six points. 392 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,150 Greg, what about my extra point for the beard? 393 00:20:54,150 --> 00:20:56,900 - You got an extra point for the beard. - OK, Noel gets seven. 394 00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:59,730 I thought I got an extra one for the... 395 00:20:59,730 --> 00:21:01,400 Oh, did Mel get one for snorting? 396 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,310 Yeah, you said you were gonna give me an extra one for snorting. 397 00:21:03,310 --> 00:21:03,830 Yep. 398 00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:05,840 So just to confirm, it's six points, six points, 399 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,570 six points, seven points, seven points, 400 00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:10,460 which means the scoreboard looks like this. 401 00:21:10,460 --> 00:21:14,370 Lolly's in the lead, Noel and Joe are both in second place. 402 00:21:21,110 --> 00:21:24,040 That's the end of that part. See you deep inside the next one. 403 00:21:33,260 --> 00:21:36,970 It's part three of the final and we are playing for big money, 404 00:21:36,970 --> 00:21:38,860 or in Hugh's case, big dong. 405 00:21:39,970 --> 00:21:41,080 What's next, Alex? 406 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:44,090 It's the world's greatest sporting dilemma. 407 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:57,430 See ya later, boys! 408 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,100 Hello, Hugh. 409 00:22:03,510 --> 00:22:05,400 I didn't wear my football boots. 410 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,200 Should I... go and get them? 411 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:08,770 I think you'll be alright for this one. 412 00:22:08,770 --> 00:22:10,780 That's a relief. I left them in Birmingham. 413 00:22:11,950 --> 00:22:13,350 Ooh. 414 00:22:13,350 --> 00:22:15,750 - Don't want too many gloves. - No. 415 00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:17,260 Now, what is that? 416 00:22:17,260 --> 00:22:18,530 It's a type of cheese. 417 00:22:18,530 --> 00:22:20,310 Er, that's a duck. 418 00:22:20,310 --> 00:22:21,770 That's a coconut. 419 00:22:21,770 --> 00:22:24,400 And a ping-pong ball, I'm gonna guess. 420 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,860 "Strike one of these objects..." 421 00:22:26,860 --> 00:22:32,130 "furthest distance with one of the other objects." 422 00:22:32,130 --> 00:22:34,910 "You have three strikes with your chosen object." 423 00:22:34,910 --> 00:22:37,750 So if I select one of these and one of those, yeah? 424 00:22:37,750 --> 00:22:39,940 - Then you get three goes. - Then I get three chances. 425 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,150 So I imagine this is all about club selection, right? 426 00:22:49,150 --> 00:22:50,660 That's right. We're at the home of golf, 427 00:22:50,660 --> 00:22:52,420 Chesham United Football Club, and... 428 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,770 They had three attempts, but they had to use 429 00:22:55,770 --> 00:22:57,820 the same objects on every attempt. 430 00:22:57,820 --> 00:23:00,770 OK, so do you want to start off with the two most natural sportspeople? 431 00:23:00,770 --> 00:23:02,730 The most natural sportsmen, Joe and Mel. 432 00:23:02,730 --> 00:23:04,090 Joe and Mel. OK. 433 00:23:05,330 --> 00:23:08,360 I'm thinking it would be foolish to use the flotation device. 434 00:23:09,620 --> 00:23:11,830 We do aquaerobics with these. 435 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:14,950 Piece of shit, innit? 436 00:23:14,950 --> 00:23:17,865 That, I sense, could be a really good... 437 00:23:17,865 --> 00:23:20,530 whack with the duck, maybe. 438 00:23:20,530 --> 00:23:23,350 The coconut has the most weight to it. 439 00:23:23,350 --> 00:23:26,730 The problem is, the impact on the coconut could destroy it. 440 00:23:26,730 --> 00:23:30,795 I'm gonna go for... snooker cue and duck. 441 00:23:30,795 --> 00:23:33,430 Or the cheese, or the cheese. 442 00:23:34,550 --> 00:23:36,530 It's not as nice as you remember, is it? 443 00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,140 Can I put it on the tea? 444 00:23:42,140 --> 00:23:43,240 Why not? 445 00:23:46,900 --> 00:23:48,300 Attempt one. 446 00:23:51,620 --> 00:23:54,060 So my fears have become very real. 447 00:23:58,320 --> 00:23:59,420 Two. 448 00:24:03,220 --> 00:24:04,910 That was just the tester, that one. 449 00:24:04,910 --> 00:24:06,860 I think that counts as your second go, Joe. 450 00:24:06,860 --> 00:24:08,060 This is your last attempt. 451 00:24:08,060 --> 00:24:09,160 Yeah. 452 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:17,500 Very, very straight. 453 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,650 Oh, oh! Do you see that little bit there? 454 00:24:22,460 --> 00:24:24,220 I've got my eye on it, I've got my eye on it. 455 00:24:24,950 --> 00:24:27,800 Eight metres and 12 centimetres. 456 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,550 Not outrageous, is it? 457 00:24:29,550 --> 00:24:31,970 Eighteen metres 45. 458 00:24:31,970 --> 00:24:33,070 Lovely. 459 00:24:34,710 --> 00:24:36,900 Good game of golf, that, with the lads. 460 00:24:44,530 --> 00:24:46,130 Really wonderful performances. 461 00:24:46,130 --> 00:24:49,370 Interesting, you were almost scientific in your prediction 462 00:24:49,370 --> 00:24:52,530 of how the coconut would behave when hit with a snooker cue, 463 00:24:52,530 --> 00:24:53,820 and yet you continued. 464 00:24:55,150 --> 00:24:56,260 I mean, they were both pretty good. 465 00:24:56,260 --> 00:24:58,150 Eight metres 12 for Mel. That's quite far, 466 00:24:58,150 --> 00:25:01,750 except when you consider that the world's longest hot dog is 204 metres. 467 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:05,680 204 metres. 468 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:08,670 That has certainly put things in perspective, hasn't it? 469 00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:11,340 Up next, Lolly Adefope. 470 00:25:12,730 --> 00:25:14,220 Are we going snooker cue? 471 00:25:14,220 --> 00:25:15,670 I'm not sure yet. 472 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,600 I'm gonna go with the pencil and the coconut. 473 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:26,700 Pencil, coconut. 474 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:35,440 OK, do you want me to measure that? 475 00:25:36,110 --> 00:25:37,320 I think that was backwards. 476 00:25:38,110 --> 00:25:39,710 - That one. - Yes, it didn't go forwards. 477 00:25:41,420 --> 00:25:43,770 - That one didn't go forwards as well. - No, no it didn't. 478 00:25:43,770 --> 00:25:46,360 - This is your last attempt, Lolly. - Oh, my gosh. 479 00:25:47,310 --> 00:25:49,250 Oh! 480 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:51,480 No! 481 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:52,650 You didn't hit it. 482 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:56,460 It was, I mean, you dropped it 25 centimetres. 483 00:25:57,975 --> 00:25:59,875 I'm really sorry, guys. 484 00:25:59,875 --> 00:26:05,100 Awww. 485 00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:16,440 I have... I have nightmares about that. 486 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:17,725 Every night. 487 00:26:17,725 --> 00:26:20,310 It's nice, you know, because people sit at home 488 00:26:20,310 --> 00:26:22,440 and watch telly, and sometimes think people they 489 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,660 see on their telly are untouchable, you know? 490 00:26:26,550 --> 00:26:30,640 How nice. How nice for you, not only to appear to be just one of them... 491 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:32,640 - Vulnerable. - but worse. Worse than them. 492 00:26:40,570 --> 00:26:42,110 So she didn't even clip it, did she? 493 00:26:42,110 --> 00:26:44,200 She was the only one not to use the snooker cue. 494 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,330 She sort of dropped it and it rolled 20 centimetres, 495 00:26:46,330 --> 00:26:48,770 which is shorter than the standard British sausage. 496 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,280 So I've revealed that Hugh and Noel both used the snooker cue. 497 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,650 They also hit the same object. Let's see who hit it further. 498 00:27:05,260 --> 00:27:08,050 That's a very, very, very long thing, isn't it? 499 00:27:11,950 --> 00:27:13,380 That's definitely a strike. 500 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,360 I don't think there's much chance of me hitting the cheese again. 501 00:27:26,370 --> 00:27:28,440 - Dead straight, as well. - Dead straight. 502 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:29,610 Now we're talking. 503 00:27:41,570 --> 00:27:42,700 Where did that go? 504 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,500 Might just leave it there. 505 00:27:50,730 --> 00:27:52,060 I mean, that's, I would say, 506 00:27:52,060 --> 00:27:53,820 the best thing you've ever done in your life. 507 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:57,280 Hopefully not. 508 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:05,880 Wow! 509 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,680 Weird, innit, but before this show, I'd sort of thought of you as this 510 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:10,600 sort of weirdy art nymph. 511 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:13,310 But the more I see you, you're just a lad. 512 00:28:13,310 --> 00:28:15,020 Just like, "Wahey!" 513 00:28:15,020 --> 00:28:17,820 I think that's a wig. All those clothes are just for telly. 514 00:28:17,820 --> 00:28:20,950 At the weekend, you go out, they call you Tony Three Pies, 515 00:28:20,950 --> 00:28:23,920 and you're out, "Wahey, come on boys!" 516 00:28:25,150 --> 00:28:26,840 How far did he hit it? 517 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:28,130 He hit it 29 metres. 518 00:28:28,130 --> 00:28:30,200 Well, 123 sausages. Incredible. 519 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:31,480 Wow! 520 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:33,180 29 metres 60. 521 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:35,880 With a short cue. 522 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,195 Hugh was amazing as well. 523 00:28:37,195 --> 00:28:40,255 Hugh was very poised. 524 00:28:40,255 --> 00:28:43,020 It was 24 metres. It was 100 sausages. 525 00:28:43,020 --> 00:28:46,740 You were both incredible at whacking cheese with a snooker cue. 526 00:28:46,740 --> 00:28:48,620 So the points were, Lolly gets one, 527 00:28:48,620 --> 00:28:50,200 Mel two, Joe three, Hugh four, 528 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:52,770 but Noel Fielding gets five points for that task. 529 00:28:57,930 --> 00:29:00,220 Is there another task lined up, Alex Horne? 530 00:29:00,220 --> 00:29:03,150 There is, and you'll be surprised with this one, hopefully. 531 00:29:03,150 --> 00:29:04,250 - Hmm! - Ooh. 532 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,900 - Hello, Lolly! - Hello, Alex. 533 00:29:16,900 --> 00:29:17,980 Do you like a bath? 534 00:29:17,980 --> 00:29:21,560 Ohh, always a bath, never a shower. 535 00:29:24,370 --> 00:29:26,740 Who's this guy? Same outfit. 536 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:30,710 Alright? 537 00:29:30,710 --> 00:29:32,420 Shall we just go for it? 538 00:29:33,620 --> 00:29:36,420 "Do something surprising with this rubber duck." 539 00:29:36,420 --> 00:29:38,700 "Most surprising wins." 540 00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:41,800 "You have ten minutes to plan your surprising thing..." 541 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:43,510 "then ten minutes to do it." 542 00:29:43,510 --> 00:29:46,810 I've got to think, what hasn't ever been done with a rubber duck before? 543 00:29:48,310 --> 00:29:50,985 "Your time starts now." 544 00:29:58,110 --> 00:29:59,260 I'm a bath guy as well. 545 00:29:59,260 --> 00:30:01,170 - I like a bath. Never a shower. - Yeah. 546 00:30:01,170 --> 00:30:03,480 Alex has never had a shower or a bath. 547 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,840 I make him clean himself like a massive cat. 548 00:30:10,020 --> 00:30:11,110 Who are we gonna see first? 549 00:30:11,110 --> 00:30:12,640 Well, I think probably Joe. 550 00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,130 Joe was the only one who spent... 551 00:30:14,130 --> 00:30:16,350 nearly all of the ten minutes in the bath. 552 00:30:18,220 --> 00:30:20,370 It's not a video we're going to see, is it? You've brought your duck with you. 553 00:30:20,370 --> 00:30:21,930 Surprise. 554 00:30:21,930 --> 00:30:24,475 I'm already surprised. 555 00:30:24,475 --> 00:30:27,880 - Oooh. - That's upped the game somewhat. 556 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:28,980 Have a little look at that. 557 00:30:32,660 --> 00:30:34,915 There's some writing on the bottom of this duck. 558 00:30:34,915 --> 00:30:36,660 You read it out, I'll put it on the board. 559 00:30:36,660 --> 00:30:39,840 "Dear Greg, I've bought you a holiday. Love, Joe." 560 00:30:41,460 --> 00:30:42,930 Here is the holiday. 561 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:51,930 What's the holiday, Greg? 562 00:30:51,930 --> 00:30:55,440 An overnight stay in a timber yurt. 563 00:30:58,370 --> 00:31:00,040 Not any old timber yurt. 564 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:03,020 It's set over 1,000 feet above sea level. 565 00:31:03,020 --> 00:31:04,640 - Fucking is. - Your favourite... 566 00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:07,060 I mean, it's actually quite good. 567 00:31:08,930 --> 00:31:11,150 Most people would just think that was a novelty and not go. 568 00:31:11,150 --> 00:31:12,860 - I'm going to the fucking yurt. - OK. 569 00:31:14,860 --> 00:31:16,600 OK, next surprise? 570 00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:18,240 - Yes, please. - OK. 571 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:22,070 We're gonna see Lolly Adefope's duck surprise. 572 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:43,940 So beautiful. 573 00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:48,200 So emotional. 574 00:31:50,150 --> 00:31:52,920 Aww, lovely! 575 00:31:55,170 --> 00:31:57,310 It was certainly a surprise for the fucking duck. 576 00:31:59,660 --> 00:32:01,350 I thought it was really sweet. 577 00:32:01,350 --> 00:32:04,880 Make a duck fly. You're like a latter-day Keith Harris. 578 00:32:08,910 --> 00:32:09,800 Who's next? 579 00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:12,280 Two down. It's time to see Hugh Dennis's surprise, 580 00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:13,110 so prepare yourself. 581 00:32:13,110 --> 00:32:14,800 OK, so this, this is for you. 582 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:17,260 What noise do ducks make? 583 00:32:17,260 --> 00:32:18,330 Quack, quack, quack. 584 00:32:18,330 --> 00:32:20,090 This is a surprising duck. 585 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,460 - Yeah? - You have to turn it over. 586 00:32:29,170 --> 00:32:30,440 That's quite good. 587 00:32:32,930 --> 00:32:34,570 It's really lovely, Hugh. 588 00:32:34,570 --> 00:32:35,550 Sweet, isn't it? 589 00:32:35,550 --> 00:32:37,820 Can you imagine the look in his eye as he was... 590 00:32:37,820 --> 00:32:39,310 cutting up the cow? 591 00:32:39,310 --> 00:32:41,440 I cannot imagine... 592 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,550 the look in a 55-year-old man's eyes 593 00:32:44,550 --> 00:32:46,770 when he made this mooing duck. 594 00:32:46,770 --> 00:32:48,330 OK. 595 00:32:48,330 --> 00:32:49,530 Right, stop everything. 596 00:32:49,530 --> 00:32:52,510 That is my last link into a break this series. 597 00:32:52,510 --> 00:32:54,340 Let's take a moment to soak it up. 598 00:32:55,110 --> 00:32:56,760 OK, good. See you soon. 599 00:33:06,910 --> 00:33:09,640 Hello and welcome back for the final time 600 00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:12,480 in this mucky rollercoaster ride of a series. 601 00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:13,770 Who will win this episode? 602 00:33:13,770 --> 00:33:15,880 Who will become the series champion? Alex? 603 00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:18,550 So, they've been trying to surprise you with a duck. 604 00:33:18,550 --> 00:33:21,605 Up next, Mel Giedroyc. 605 00:33:21,605 --> 00:33:23,320 I'm thinking I might... 606 00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:26,630 surprise somebody from the outside world. 607 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:31,770 Hiya! 608 00:33:31,770 --> 00:33:33,090 Some food's arrived. 609 00:33:34,750 --> 00:33:38,630 Can I ask you, would you mind helping me with something? 610 00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:41,730 Now, Alex... 611 00:33:41,730 --> 00:33:43,660 - Yes, Mel? - Good news. 612 00:33:43,660 --> 00:33:47,460 You said you wanted something surprising with the rubber duck. 613 00:33:47,460 --> 00:33:49,610 Morello! Come on, Morello. 614 00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:52,330 Park up just there, my love. 615 00:33:52,330 --> 00:33:54,420 Amazing, thank you. 616 00:33:54,420 --> 00:33:59,180 Now, Morello. Have a look in your courier box. 617 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,110 How do you feel about that? 618 00:34:08,110 --> 00:34:09,600 I didn't expect it. 619 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:10,840 A bit surprised? 620 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,350 Surprised. I didn't expect it, no. 621 00:34:13,350 --> 00:34:16,820 On a scale of surprise, nought to ten, 622 00:34:16,820 --> 00:34:18,660 how surprised are you feeling at the moment? 623 00:34:18,660 --> 00:34:22,050 A lot of surprise. I don't know how that appeared in here. 624 00:34:22,050 --> 00:34:24,770 We need a number, Morello. Out of ten, how surprised? 625 00:34:24,770 --> 00:34:26,020 Um... 626 00:34:26,020 --> 00:34:26,730 Ten. 627 00:34:26,730 --> 00:34:28,575 Whoa, maximum. 628 00:34:28,575 --> 00:34:31,310 Morello, you've been amazing. Thanks so much. 629 00:34:31,310 --> 00:34:34,235 Oh, you're a ledge. Thanks, Morello! 630 00:34:34,235 --> 00:34:35,670 Bye! 631 00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:37,510 Bye! 632 00:34:37,710 --> 00:34:38,810 Bye! 633 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,670 I mean, there's a lot to unpick there, isn't there? 634 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:52,310 I mean, this may be pertinent. Who the fuck was Morello? 635 00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,930 - Where did he come from? - I met him outside. Super chap. 636 00:34:56,930 --> 00:34:59,130 - He seemed like a nice chap. - Very amenable. 637 00:34:59,130 --> 00:35:00,930 I'm gonna say he seemed baffled. 638 00:35:02,710 --> 00:35:05,460 What was your technique to get the duck into the... 639 00:35:06,170 --> 00:35:10,450 I made him look away and then I slipped it into his box. 640 00:35:15,370 --> 00:35:17,370 You fried Morello's brain. 641 00:35:18,420 --> 00:35:22,410 And he was so shocked, his facial expression didn't change at all. 642 00:35:24,170 --> 00:35:26,060 It's like he'd been frozen in carbon. 643 00:35:27,530 --> 00:35:29,150 There we go, there's just one left now. 644 00:35:29,150 --> 00:35:31,400 - One surprising duck. - That is so strange, Mel. 645 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,090 We're gonna see how Noel Fielding has attempted 646 00:35:35,090 --> 00:35:36,850 - to surprise you with a duck. - Yeah. 647 00:35:47,220 --> 00:35:53,110 Gathered here today to witness the marriage of Noel to Ducky. 648 00:35:53,110 --> 00:35:56,440 Do you, Noel Gregory Fielding, 649 00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:59,820 take Ducky to be your lawful wedded husband? 650 00:35:59,820 --> 00:36:00,920 I do, Tim. 651 00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:03,340 Pop the ring on. 652 00:36:05,350 --> 00:36:08,110 Noel, I now pronounce you wife and Ducky. 653 00:36:08,110 --> 00:36:09,210 You may kiss the duck. 654 00:36:10,010 --> 00:36:10,610 Bop! 655 00:36:10,910 --> 00:36:11,910 Bop! 656 00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:24,950 I married a duck. 657 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:29,050 I loved the dress. 658 00:36:29,930 --> 00:36:33,280 Can I just say that we did get Tim Key a marriage licence, 659 00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:36,520 so I am... fucking married to a duck. 660 00:36:37,820 --> 00:36:39,110 That's true. 661 00:36:39,110 --> 00:36:41,280 We got him a marriage licence to marry people in Hawaii. 662 00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:41,880 Oh. 663 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:45,570 So you've got to consummate the marriage in Hawaii before it counts. 664 00:36:45,570 --> 00:36:48,540 I don't think that's on the certificate. 665 00:36:48,540 --> 00:36:53,330 I don't think... They're married as long he takes the duck to Hawaii and fucks it. 666 00:36:56,350 --> 00:36:58,510 Shall I make a swift judgment? 667 00:36:58,510 --> 00:36:59,420 OK. 668 00:36:59,420 --> 00:37:00,290 OK, I'm sorry, Lolly. 669 00:37:00,290 --> 00:37:02,270 I'm gonna put you in last place, purely because 670 00:37:02,270 --> 00:37:04,770 I'm not surprised you did something so positive and upbeat. 671 00:37:04,770 --> 00:37:07,460 Because, you know, there's still hope in your life. 672 00:37:07,460 --> 00:37:10,930 I'm going to put Hugh Dennis next. Fourth place. 673 00:37:10,930 --> 00:37:13,970 Joe in third, because my instinct is, he is a generous person, 674 00:37:13,970 --> 00:37:16,370 so the fact that he would buy me a lovely yurt holiday 675 00:37:16,370 --> 00:37:17,710 - doesn't surprise me that much. - OK. 676 00:37:17,710 --> 00:37:21,220 It doesn't surprise me at all that Noel would attempt to marry a duck. 677 00:37:21,220 --> 00:37:24,280 The fact that he has actually married a duck does surprise me. 678 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:25,420 Second place. 679 00:37:25,420 --> 00:37:29,000 But there is nothing more surprising I've seen this series 680 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,630 than that poor baffled man's face. 681 00:37:32,770 --> 00:37:37,150 So Mel must take top honours on this occasion. 682 00:37:39,220 --> 00:37:41,320 Little Morello. So sweet. 683 00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:43,620 - So, do you want to see the scoreboard? - Yes, please. 684 00:37:43,620 --> 00:37:46,370 OK, Noel is in the lead with 19 points at the moment. 685 00:37:52,300 --> 00:37:53,970 Right, the end is in sight. 686 00:37:53,970 --> 00:37:58,250 Please make your way to the stage for the final task of the series! 687 00:38:06,330 --> 00:38:10,060 Very artistic. OK, Lolly, would you read out the task, please? 688 00:38:10,060 --> 00:38:11,920 - Hello, Lolly. - Hello, Alex. 689 00:38:12,660 --> 00:38:14,910 "Draw the median duck." 690 00:38:14,910 --> 00:38:17,530 "The median duck alone wins." 691 00:38:17,530 --> 00:38:19,080 "You have 100 seconds." 692 00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:23,150 "There will also be a bonus point for best duck picture." 693 00:38:23,150 --> 00:38:24,510 Did you say "medium"? 694 00:38:24,510 --> 00:38:26,480 - Median. - Median. Average. 695 00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:31,260 Your aim is to draw the third biggest duck, 'cause that's the median-- 696 00:38:31,260 --> 00:38:34,280 I don't know what fucking size everyone else is gonna draw! 697 00:38:35,950 --> 00:38:37,750 - Sort of the point of the game. - OK. 698 00:38:41,860 --> 00:38:43,600 OK, thanks. 699 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:45,130 Hundred seconds starting... 700 00:38:45,130 --> 00:38:46,230 then. 701 00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:54,500 That's lovely. That is lovely. Very nice. 702 00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:58,970 Oh, lovely shading. Lovely hatching. 703 00:38:58,970 --> 00:39:00,370 Lovely hatching. 704 00:39:00,370 --> 00:39:02,080 It's a lovely duck. 705 00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:04,450 He's an artist. He's an artist. 706 00:39:06,460 --> 00:39:11,430 Five, four, three, two, one... 707 00:39:18,460 --> 00:39:20,330 OK. OK, ladies and gentlemen. 708 00:39:20,330 --> 00:39:22,060 Which duck would you like to see? 709 00:39:22,060 --> 00:39:23,910 Duck one! 710 00:39:23,910 --> 00:39:24,910 - Is that me? - Yeah. 711 00:39:24,910 --> 00:39:27,610 Remember, ducks aren't really yellow. 712 00:39:33,020 --> 00:39:34,120 Big old duck. 713 00:39:36,170 --> 00:39:39,910 And they don't always look like ducks. 714 00:39:41,910 --> 00:39:43,330 Which duck would you like to see? 715 00:39:43,330 --> 00:39:44,840 Duck two! 716 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:46,385 That's you, Joe. Duck two. 717 00:39:46,385 --> 00:39:50,910 - You asked to see the median duck. - Mm-hm. 718 00:39:50,910 --> 00:39:54,360 So I did the median duck. 719 00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:59,965 That says, and I have drawn, the median duck. 720 00:39:59,965 --> 00:40:01,950 Or have you written it? 721 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:04,570 I have drawn it. 722 00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:08,180 Please. 723 00:40:10,150 --> 00:40:12,820 I have thought about the task. 724 00:40:12,820 --> 00:40:14,360 And I have written... 725 00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:15,550 Drawn! 726 00:40:22,300 --> 00:40:23,820 Which duck do you want to see now? 727 00:40:23,820 --> 00:40:25,310 Duck three! 728 00:40:25,310 --> 00:40:27,220 That's you, Lolly. Show us your duck. 729 00:40:27,220 --> 00:40:29,510 I have drawn a small duck. 730 00:40:29,510 --> 00:40:32,440 And I've also written, "This has been a wonderful experience 731 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:35,330 and I will remember it until the day I die. Lolly Adefope." 732 00:40:35,330 --> 00:40:37,110 - Aww. - Awww. 733 00:40:40,730 --> 00:40:44,400 Which almost lets you off having not drawn a duck. 734 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:46,550 - It's a duck! - You've drawn a multicoloured kidney. 735 00:40:46,550 --> 00:40:49,620 There was no yellow! 736 00:40:52,770 --> 00:40:54,800 OK, which duck would you like to see? 737 00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:56,240 Duck four! 738 00:40:56,240 --> 00:40:58,200 - That's you, Mel. - Here we go. 739 00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,220 Ooh, nice duck. 740 00:41:00,220 --> 00:41:02,570 Lovely duck. 741 00:41:02,570 --> 00:41:05,240 Little thing I just want to point out... 742 00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:07,950 Considering the company we're in... 743 00:41:07,950 --> 00:41:12,000 I put "co-median duck". 744 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,860 That went down well. 745 00:41:14,860 --> 00:41:16,755 No, they asked for the median duck. 746 00:41:16,755 --> 00:41:19,640 I might just quickly measure Hugh and Mel's duck, 747 00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:21,510 if that's alright, just to make sure this works. 748 00:41:21,510 --> 00:41:22,330 Yeah. 749 00:41:22,330 --> 00:41:24,910 - So, a 21-inch duck. - Yeah. 750 00:41:24,910 --> 00:41:28,530 Compared to a, from bill to tail, 13-inch. 751 00:41:28,530 --> 00:41:29,460 13-inch duck. 752 00:41:29,460 --> 00:41:32,970 So we're looking for something between 13 inches and 6 inches. 753 00:41:32,970 --> 00:41:35,240 Which duck would you like to see? 754 00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:37,210 Duck five! 755 00:41:40,330 --> 00:41:41,420 Oh, it's a lovely duck. 756 00:41:41,420 --> 00:41:43,370 - It is lovely. - It's a guffing duck. 757 00:41:45,130 --> 00:41:49,140 If it's bigger than 13, then Mel has won the task. 758 00:41:50,330 --> 00:41:53,250 It's 13 and a half inches, which means... 759 00:41:53,250 --> 00:41:55,570 - Mel has drawn the median duck! - Mel is the median duck! 760 00:42:00,510 --> 00:42:01,900 YES! 761 00:42:03,150 --> 00:42:04,680 YES! 762 00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:06,620 Do you want to give a bonus point for best duck? 763 00:42:06,620 --> 00:42:08,040 Noel gets the bonus point. 764 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:09,720 OK, there we go. Noel gets the bonus point. 765 00:42:12,350 --> 00:42:14,560 Will you please join us to find out 766 00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:17,140 what that has done to the final scores? 767 00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:24,930 So, Mel's duck was extremely average, 768 00:42:24,930 --> 00:42:27,080 which won her the task, but... 769 00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:29,330 does it mean she's won the episode? 770 00:42:29,330 --> 00:42:31,730 It might do. I've totted up the scores... 771 00:42:31,730 --> 00:42:34,310 and the scoreboard looks like this. 772 00:42:36,170 --> 00:42:38,660 - She snuck into the front! - She's smashed it! 773 00:42:42,660 --> 00:42:44,660 Mel is the winner of tonight's show. 774 00:42:44,660 --> 00:42:47,080 Please go and claim your cash! 775 00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:53,640 Let's hear it one more time for Mel! 776 00:43:09,770 --> 00:43:11,420 Right, here we go. 777 00:43:11,420 --> 00:43:12,820 It's crunch time. 778 00:43:12,820 --> 00:43:15,820 After eight episodes, 45 tasks, and let's not forget, 779 00:43:15,820 --> 00:43:18,730 those 48 links in and out of commercial breaks, 780 00:43:18,730 --> 00:43:24,530 it's finally time to palm this ludicrous trophy off on the overall winner. 781 00:43:24,530 --> 00:43:26,330 Oooo! 782 00:43:26,330 --> 00:43:29,310 But... who will be joining the ranks of such 783 00:43:29,310 --> 00:43:32,560 esteemed Taskmaster royalty as past champions 784 00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:36,575 Josh Widdicombe, Katherine Ryan, Rob Beckett? 785 00:43:36,575 --> 00:43:37,750 - Alex? - Mm-hm? 786 00:43:37,750 --> 00:43:38,680 It's over to you... 787 00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:41,470 to reveal the ultimate scores! 788 00:43:42,420 --> 00:43:43,530 Thanks, Greg. So, I've... 789 00:43:45,350 --> 00:43:47,810 I've done some maths, and we can reveal, 790 00:43:47,810 --> 00:43:51,060 with 144 points, the winner of the series is... 791 00:43:51,060 --> 00:43:54,460 Mr Noooel Fielding! 792 00:44:01,730 --> 00:44:03,280 Congratulations. 793 00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,095 Well done, everybody. 794 00:44:15,095 --> 00:44:17,880 Thank you to all of our contestants, 795 00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:21,020 but especially to our phenomenal victor, Mr Noel Fielding. 796 00:44:21,020 --> 00:44:22,150 Thank you for watching, everyone. 797 00:44:22,150 --> 00:44:23,940 See you next time. Good night!