1
00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,000
Hello!
2
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,400
Thank you. Stop it. Thank you.
3
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,800
I'm Greg Davies.
Welcome to Taskmaster.
4
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,800
What a series this is
turning out to be.
5
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:44,320
The Taskmaster trophy is edging
closer to having a proud new owner,
6
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:47,960
and our comedians have never had to work
so hard for something in their lives,
7
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:50,600
because, let's face it,
they've got it pretty easy.
8
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,360
Let's meet them now.
Our contenders are...
9
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:54,780
Hugh Dennis!
10
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:57,820
Joe Lycett!
11
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,100
Lolly Adefope!
12
00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:03,500
Mel Giedroyc!
13
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:06,060
Noel Fielding!
14
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:11,360
And sidled up beside me,
in his inferior armchair,
15
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,320
it's Little Alex Horne.
16
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:21,680
I've sensed a new-found confidence
in you during this series.
17
00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:23,560
- Have you genuinely?
- Yes, I have.
18
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:24,800
Thank you.
19
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,480
And quite right too,
'cause I'm feeling chipper.
20
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,680
I think I've secured
my sort of future.
21
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,640
I've invented something
to make some money.
22
00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:33,400
Have you?
23
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,180
Cola Mobile.
24
00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:37,080
So it's like normal Cola,
which is delicious,
25
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:38,560
but you can take it,
you can drink it anywhere.
26
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,480
You take it...
27
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,520
It's like mobile phones
compared to the landline.
28
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,100
You just drink it, take it to a park...
29
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:51,920
Please can we hear
today's prize category, Alex?
30
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:52,720
Certainly, Greg.
31
00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:55,200
So we've asked them to
bring in their cutest thing.
32
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,040
- OK? That's nice.
- That is nice.
33
00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,040
So it's up to you, Greg--
Greg Davies, isn't it?
34
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,910
To judge which of their
things is the cutest.
35
00:02:01,910 --> 00:02:02,600
- Yup.
- OK?
36
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,440
The person who has brought in the
cutest thing will gain five points,
37
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,210
and the winner of the whole episode
38
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,440
will walk home with five
really cute things.
39
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,240
- Wow, all to play for.
- It's a lovely start, yeah.
40
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:15,400
And I guess part of this is judging
what I personally would find cute.
41
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:16,720
Very big part of it, yeah.
42
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:17,820
Oh dear.
43
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:19,640
Lolly, hello.
44
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,400
Hello.
45
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:21,600
What do you consider cute?
46
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,040
I've brought in a photo of myself.
47
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,160
- Ooh.
- Yeah.
48
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,400
Awww.
49
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,080
Aw, that's so cute.
50
00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,000
Look, holding the rose!
51
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,380
I'd just done a show and
they threw roses at me.
52
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:39,880
Even back then you were
getting standing ovations.
53
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,960
Well, it is cute, but it also looks like
you've been buried up to your neck...
54
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,460
in that duvet.
55
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:47,840
OK, listen.
56
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:48,840
I think it's cute.
57
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:49,840
Do you think it's cute?
58
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,680
- Yes!
- It's a great start. Noel?
59
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:54,000
- Hello.
- What have you brought in that's cute?
60
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,440
Well, I thought, "I tell you what,"
61
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,520
"What'd be great is if you could
make anything cute."
62
00:02:58,520 --> 00:02:59,440
Wow.
63
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:03,400
So I've got a plate of cute
googly eyes. Look...
64
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,960
Right, I'm gonna say that
that plate isn't cute.
65
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:12,240
No, but take something quite violent,
like a weapon, and make it cute.
66
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:13,640
- Look, hammer.
- Oh!
67
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,680
Cute!
68
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:19,000
Who would mind having their
head stoved in by that?
69
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,120
Exactly.
70
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:21,600
I mean, it genuinely works, doesn't it?
71
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:22,640
You look so happy.
72
00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:24,120
- It's really cute.
- Yeah.
73
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:27,040
Joe, you're up against it here.
Two very cute things.
74
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:31,640
I have a picture of my favourite
creature in the whole world.
75
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:33,960
It's Bertie the dog.
76
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:35,560
Aww.
77
00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,320
We go on tour together
sometimes, and in Bristol,
78
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,920
they were a bit nervous about
him coming to the show,
79
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,920
and I was explaining to them,
"Thank you for letting him in."
80
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:45,040
"He's really well-behaved."
81
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:48,680
And looked behind me, and he was
taking a shit in the auditorium.
82
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:53,640
But, seemingly, he was punished
by having his back half removed.
83
00:03:56,800 --> 00:04:00,100
Difficult to poop when you haven't
got the apparatus, isn't it?
84
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:02,200
Dear me.
85
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:06,080
No one has put a foot wrong so far.
Let's see if that's about to change.
86
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:06,720
Hugh?
87
00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:07,800
Yeah, well, it will be,
88
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:11,320
'cause the history of this is that
I've come last in every single prize task.
89
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:12,600
Oh, for sure you have.
90
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:17,040
Yeah. Well, you see, I also have a
very cute thing. It's a little toy.
91
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:17,880
Which is that.
92
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,280
We've got a picture of that on
the screen, just for the audience.
93
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,040
- It's a lovely little cat thing.
- Yeah.
94
00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:25,240
I mean, my instant reaction is,
"You've done it again, Hugh."
95
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:27,840
Here you go.
96
00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:29,700
Oh, ugh. Thanks.
97
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,600
Sweet, isn't it? It's a sort of
little stress-reduction thing.
98
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,280
I find that, in its
stationary position,
99
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,740
and in its eyes-extended position,
100
00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:45,230
accompanied with the noise it makes...
101
00:04:45,230 --> 00:04:46,020
Cute?
102
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:48,360
to be the direct
antithesis of cute.
103
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,080
So, perfect.
104
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:53,640
My mission is complete.
105
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:57,120
Mel?
106
00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:00,520
I've brought in, um...
It's sooo cute.
107
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,760
It's a little towelling pea pod,
108
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:07,640
and then you unzip it, and then you
see the little three peas inside.
109
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,560
Honestly, gang, check this out.
110
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,720
Have a look.
111
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,120
- Awww.
- Look!
112
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,240
And they've
all got little names!
113
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:15,960
He doesn't-- He doesn't like it, Mel.
114
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:16,480
What?
115
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,120
- What's wrong, Greg?
- Doesn't work for me.
116
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,080
No?
117
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,320
They've all got different characters
and different voices.
118
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:23,760
- Have they?
- You can do different voices.
119
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,240
Do the voices of each of the three,
and I'll see if that makes it better.
120
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,600
The one on the left speaks like that.
121
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:29,600
Oh, dear.
122
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,120
Oooh, dear.
123
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:36,080
And the one in the middle talks like that.
124
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:39,820
Oh, well, he's clearly having an
inappropriate relationship with them.
125
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,680
And the one on the right talks like that.
126
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:44,720
Irritating.
127
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,720
Can you judge it?
128
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:47,720
Oh, yeah, yeah.
129
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:48,560
Go on, then.
130
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,080
Can I give you fifth and last?
Can I tell you...
131
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,740
You don't need to. They all know.
132
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,840
Lolly, there is no question that
your picture is the cutest thing.
133
00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:57,920
Congratulations.
134
00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:59,880
Thank you so much.
135
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,880
Lolly Adefope in first. OK.
136
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:05,600
Very, very close between
Noel and Joe, for me.
137
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,520
But I'm gonna give it to Joe.
Do you know why?
138
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,560
'Cause that dog's been sawn
in half, and it needs...
139
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:11,760
- It needs some help.
- OK.
140
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:13,920
Very close third place.
141
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,400
Sorry, don't give a shit
about the peas in the pod.
142
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:17,530
They'll be very sad!
143
00:06:17,530 --> 00:06:18,360
Oh, I'm sorry!
144
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,700
They can fucking deal with it.
145
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,640
Sorry, can I just confirm who's in
last place? It wasn't quite clear.
146
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:25,960
Oh, no, let's not bother.
Let's just crack on.
147
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,400
- OK, fine.
- OK.
148
00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:29,880
Very good. We're off.
What's next?
149
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,320
It's the first of the tasks.
It's the slipperiest of the tasks.
150
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:33,860
- Oooh!
- Ready?
151
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:49,280
Hello.
152
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:50,380
Hello, Hugh.
153
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:54,280
It's very, um... It's very
well sealed, that one.
154
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,840
"Slide the furthest."
155
00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:59,560
"You have 20 minutes
and one attempt."
156
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,240
"Your time starts now."
157
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,160
Holy mackerel.
158
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,560
Slide the furthest?
159
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,320
I need to be higher,
don't I, in order to...
160
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:13,220
No, not necessarily.
I just need trajectory.
161
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,040
Alright. Shed.
162
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,780
One slide, and it's
the furthest wins?
163
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,040
OK.
164
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,760
A slide is basically, um...
165
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,200
It's action without friction.
166
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,880
Sounds like a slogan.
167
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,560
Yeah! I like that.
168
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:36,580
I want to focus on
"action without friction."
169
00:07:36,580 --> 00:07:38,440
Not my understanding of a slide.
170
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:39,040
Really?
171
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:42,200
Well, if there was no friction,
you'd carry on for ever, wouldn't you?
172
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:46,000
Yeah. The only place you can
slide with no friction is space.
173
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,840
Oh, we should have gone to space!
174
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,800
Who are we gonna see first,
doing action with some friction?
175
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:56,120
We saw Joe using technical terms
like "trajectory" and "higher"...
176
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,300
So I thought we'd start...
177
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,280
start with Joe and Lolly,
if that's alright.
178
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,600
- Jolly.
- Jolly.
179
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:23,800
- Butter?
- Butter.
180
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:30,980
It's all about the, uh...
181
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:40,440
This is nice.
182
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:41,280
Is it?
183
00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:42,660
- It's lovely.
- Looks nice.
184
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:49,460
I'm ready.
185
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,080
Yeah, we're gonna hold that
there. It's exciting.
186
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,180
We're not gonna show what they've
done till the end of the task.
187
00:08:59,180 --> 00:08:59,720
Oh, right.
188
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,280
But instead we're gonna
start with Hugh,
189
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,680
who is exactly the same age
as Joe and Lolly combined.
190
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:17,460
Got your rope?
191
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:19,580
My rope.
192
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:42,980
Two metres, Hugh.
193
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,240
He dragged himself a
full 18 metres 90,
194
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:57,560
which is the length of the Titanic.
195
00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,120
A scale model of the Titanic.
196
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,920
- Not bad.
- Thank you.
197
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:04,960
Who shall we see?
198
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,320
- Well, uh...
- Noel.
199
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,300
- Noel! Yeah, Noel.
- Noel.
200
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,620
Let's see if this works,
in principle...
201
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:20,380
I'd say this is sliding.
202
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,060
I don't think--
I don't think I'm using that.
203
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:26,900
Going from up here.
204
00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,220
14 metres.
205
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,920
You've got four minutes left.
You're still sliding, are you?
206
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,060
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
207
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:56,700
That's another 14 metres.
208
00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,440
- I'm out.
- You're out?
209
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:04,440
Yeah.
210
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,160
Always cool.
211
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:09,360
Looked cool.
212
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,240
It certainly looked cool.
213
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,960
- Real... real dignity.
- Mm-hm.
214
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:14,880
Um, some controversy
with this one, then.
215
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:16,680
Well, the rules were you
have one attempt.
216
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:18,840
You could test out the slide,
but you had one attempt.
217
00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,880
Why didn't you stop me,
then, you dick?
218
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:26,120
I mean, it's a very
good question.
219
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,480
Absolutely exhausted.
220
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,400
At the time, you thought it was
one sliding session.
221
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:31,960
Yeah.
222
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,200
But you were taking readings...
223
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:37,000
No, I would be angry with him as well,
but it's just one slide,
224
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,900
so whichever was the longest of the slides
is the one that'll have to count.
225
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,800
So we've got 14 metres
and 19 metres.
226
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:44,520
We still haven't seen how these guys have
got on on their three metres of tarpaulin.
227
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:45,520
Do we need to?
228
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:50,440
Pretty sure that Lolly will have
crashed through the gates,
229
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,880
grabbed hold of the bumper of a car,
and done five or six miles.
230
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,480
Well, we'll have a look
after the break.
231
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,720
Right, time for an advert or two.
232
00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,020
See you in a short while.
233
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,640
Welcome back to good
old Taskmaster.
234
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:14,880
It's part two and we've been watching
a sliding scale of comedians.
235
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,280
Oh, you're right. Yes, we have.
236
00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,280
We've watched Hugh tugging
himself an impressive length...
237
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,350
And then Noel had a
whole sliding session.
238
00:12:23,350 --> 00:12:27,040
We've saving Joe and Lolly till
the end, so it's just Mrs Giedroyc.
239
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,320
Mrs Sled-royc.
240
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:29,420
Sled-royc. Yeah.
241
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:36,720
Zip me up, love.
242
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,540
This is absolutely brilliant.
243
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:42,320
Action without friction, guys.
244
00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,520
This is what we're aiming for.
Let's do it.
245
00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,040
Oh, this feels excellent.
246
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:49,520
This feels absolutely marvellous.
247
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,720
Keep it going, team.
Use the hill.
248
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,480
Now we're back on grass.
249
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,440
Keep going round the
corner if you can,
250
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,120
and back! Back up the hill!
251
00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,440
You've got two minutes left.
252
00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,600
Oh, my God. Guys, this is...
253
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,840
You're doing amazing work.
254
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,240
Stay on the grass.
255
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:05,960
You are incredible.
256
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,320
That's the end of the slide.
257
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,120
Oh. My. God.
258
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:12,180
I think that's the most
fun I've had, sliding.
259
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,760
Action without friction.
260
00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:20,040
- Mm-hm.
- I mean, ironically,
261
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,520
if you'd have brought
a picture of that in,
262
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,620
of you cocooned up in that...
263
00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:27,020
You'd have taken round one as well.
264
00:13:27,020 --> 00:13:29,720
Did you like me
as a little caterpillar, Greg?
265
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,720
Ugh, I did.
266
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:37,400
She slid 56 and a half metres.
Well over a metre.
267
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,590
56 and a half metres.
268
00:13:40,590 --> 00:13:42,360
You'd think she had this in the bag.
269
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:47,460
But she's yet to face a man who's rubbed
butter and cream onto himself.
270
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:52,640
And a woman who thinks that she's
gonna be able to slide on concrete.
271
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:53,680
Are you ready?
272
00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:55,040
- Yeah!
- Here we go.
273
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,800
I'll go to your fingertips.
274
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:40,920
Ooh, it's not far.
275
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:45,560
I missed it.
276
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:49,880
If Lolly had worn a wool suit
and fallen onto velcro,
277
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:51,160
would she have slid...?
278
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,920
- The same.
- The same amount.
279
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,960
Lolly slid 3.2 metres.
280
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,320
That's the same height as Kylie
Minogue standing on a horse.
281
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,520
Joe, five metres 80.
282
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:07,160
Vince Vaughn on Owen Wilson on
Ben Stiller on an unlit barbecue.
283
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,920
Like one of those small ones.
284
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,440
But there's a clear winner
and that is, uh...
285
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,000
- Mel Giedroyc!
- Bam!
286
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:17,680
How's the scoreboard
looking now, Alex?
287
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:18,840
It couldn't be much closer.
288
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:20,340
Hugh is trailing but only by one,
289
00:15:20,340 --> 00:15:22,360
then there are three
people in second place.
290
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,720
Mel Giedroyc in first
place on seven points.
291
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:25,720
Brilliant!
292
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,440
Do you think the next task might do something
to rekindle our relationship with Europe?
293
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:35,120
I believe it can, and if we all believe,
then believe me.
294
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,540
Here's the next task.
295
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:53,920
Hello.
296
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:54,880
Hello, Lolly.
297
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,460
Oh, exciting.
298
00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:58,580
Is that an actual person?
299
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:00,760
Hello.
300
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,100
Who's that?
301
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:07,760
Hello.
302
00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:08,860
Hello!
303
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:12,300
Hello.
304
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:13,320
Hello.
305
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,680
I don't do this.
Filming yourself.
306
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,720
Doesn't appear to be a task here.
307
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:18,360
Yeah.
308
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,760
Oh, that's-- Oh, good!
309
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:25,000
"Maintaining constant eye contact and
making continuous small talk..."
310
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,200
"with this Swedish person,"
311
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:30,380
"put on the wetsuit, flippers,
face mask and snorkel."
312
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,440
Where even are those things?
313
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,320
"Your head may not leave the Swedish
person's frame at any point."
314
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,640
"You may not move the laptop
from its current position."
315
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:39,760
"Fastest wins."
316
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,760
"Your time..." Taking my shoes off.
317
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,680
"Your time starts... when..."
318
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:47,720
"when the Swedish person
smiles at you."
319
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:52,080
I don't... I don't
know where it is.
320
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,720
Different approach to webcam chat.
321
00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,040
You were very uncomfortable
with it, Mel.
322
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:03,480
I don't do that thing where you look
at someone on the screen and...
323
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:04,000
chat.
324
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,000
You think it's a bit smutty?
325
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:08,680
It's just the idea of somehow it
being in your own home...
326
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,920
- It's all a bit private.
- Is that what you call it?
327
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:16,840
So, they had to put on a wetsuit while
making small talk with a Swede.
328
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:17,280
Yeah.
329
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:20,000
We're gonna dock you five seconds
every time you break eye contact.
330
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:20,920
- Ooh.
- OK?
331
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,640
And also there's a bonus point for
whoever puts on the wetsuit best,
332
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:24,960
'cause there were some struggles.
333
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,220
We're gonna start off with
Mel and Joe. Here we go.
334
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:29,960
Ah, so sweet!
335
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,400
OK, right, come on.
336
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:32,440
Constant eye contact, please.
337
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:33,800
Sorry, constant eye contact.
338
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,000
That's a smile, innit?
I've got to start.
339
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,240
What's your name?
340
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:38,040
Fred.
341
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:42,000
So, um, what do you tend
to do for Christmas?
342
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,400
Visit my parents.
343
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,840
What kind of line of work are you in?
344
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:47,480
I'm a painter-decorator
and a musician.
345
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,160
A painter-decorator and a musician?
346
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,240
That's a niche couple of
things, isn't it?
347
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:51,760
Mm-hm.
348
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:56,440
I've never actually done... a thing
where you film yourself into a computer.
349
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,960
- Eye contact, please, Mel.
- Oh, God, sorry. I just looked down.
350
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,160
I was looking for my zip.
351
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:01,880
To do up.
352
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,240
I like you. Are you single?
353
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:06,000
Yeah.
354
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,360
Do you like to cook...
355
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:08,840
Swedish food?
356
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:10,280
No, I think it's quite boring.
357
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:11,240
Really?
358
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,720
What are you looking for in a relationship?
359
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:16,960
Good question. See, that's
probably why I'm single.
360
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,720
Oh, no!
361
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,560
What's your favourite,
er, type of quiche?
362
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,340
Quiche?
363
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,320
You look great.
364
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,760
It's done something!
365
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,640
Eye contact, please, Joe.
366
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,680
And how long have you been single?
367
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,880
- Two years.
- Oh, my God.
368
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,960
I think things are gonna be
alright for you, though.
369
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:37,760
Thanks, man.
370
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,000
Erm, I've got to put the
snorkel in, so...
371
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,100
Tatty-byes, my love.
Great to talk.
372
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,960
I don't think it's
disrespectful to suggest
373
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,880
that if Fred did have
inappropriate thoughts,
374
00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,760
as soon as the mask went on...
375
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:03,060
maybe his desire left him.
376
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,080
I thought they both did very well.
377
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:06,640
Yes?
378
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,800
Joe genuinely flirting with Fred.
379
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,200
- You-- Unbelievable.
- I think he's very handsome.
380
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,080
- He was nice, wasn't he?
- He's single.
381
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:13,680
Mellow.
382
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:14,840
Did you get his number?
383
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:15,680
No, I didn't.
384
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:18,400
The problem was you started with
small talk, with the quiche chat.
385
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,000
You asked him what his
favourite yoghurt was.
386
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,420
- That's incredible small talk, by the way.
- Very small, yes.
387
00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:25,320
Started with small talk,
drifted into big talk.
388
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:26,240
- He asked him...
- Big talk.
389
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,520
You said, "Are you single? I think
you'll be OK. I believe in you."
390
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:30,160
Wow.
391
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,320
- Is that small talk?
- That's not small talk.
392
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,720
I'm obviously going in with the
wrong chats on Tinder, aren't I?
393
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:36,920
Oh, yeah. Definitely.
394
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,800
If you're gonna go in with existential
stuff, you're gonna remain single.
395
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:40,880
"What's your favourite yoghurt?"
396
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,200
"How do you feel about death?"
397
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,000
He was quick, though. Very quick.
398
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,720
Four minutes 22 to put
the entire wetsuit on,
399
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,840
whereas six minutes four to
put on sort of half a wetsuit.
400
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:54,000
Let's see if Hugh and Lolly
managed to charm the Swede.
401
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,400
Here we go.
402
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,520
Is that a smile?
403
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:57,920
I don't think that is a smile.
404
00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:01,280
That's a kind of a mad, crazed
killer sort of look.
405
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:02,480
And what do you do?
406
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,640
I'm a musician and a decorator.
407
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,920
Oh, cool. What
kind of music do you play?
408
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:09,240
Little bit of everything.
409
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,680
Oh, you're back. Hello.
410
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,440
I'm maintaining eye contact with you.
411
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,000
What's your favourite
colour to paint?
412
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:16,600
Blue.
413
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:17,960
I knew you were gonna say that!
414
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:19,840
So do you go to IKEA a lot?
415
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,440
Not really, no.
416
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,440
Eye contact please, Hugh.
417
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,240
What did you last paint blue?
418
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,320
- Er, a kitchen.
- Lovely.
419
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,320
I am wearing this now, so...
420
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,040
Mmm.
421
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,640
Interesting. We were talking about
the definition of small talk,
422
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,920
and perhaps Joe jazzed it up
a little bit too much.
423
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:47,040
Is "What was the last thing you painted
blue?" going too far the other way?
424
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,360
- I think that was tiny talk.
- That's tiny talk.
425
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:51,460
Tiny talk.
426
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,200
They were both quick, though.
427
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,920
Three minutes 45 by Hugh,
four minutes 10.
428
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:59,120
How much of the wetsuit did
Hugh actually have on?
429
00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:00,040
All of it.
430
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:00,720
Half?
431
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:01,400
♪ Haaalf? ♪
432
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:02,720
Sorry. ♪ Haaalf? ♪
433
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,900
Well, I'm not sure that was on the task.
434
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:07,080
I didn't say you have to put it--
It just said put the wetsuit on.
435
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:07,680
It did.
436
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,400
So it doesn't mean put it on,
it just means have it on.
437
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,200
Just Noel's attempt left to see.
438
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,760
But not until we've
gorged on advertising.
439
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:17,860
See you after that.
440
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,280
You've returned to the third
part of Taskmaster,
441
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,120
where we're trying to maintain
a healthy relationship with Europe
442
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:36,840
by video-calling our
old pal, Fred, in Sweden.
443
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:37,920
Too right, Greg.
444
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:39,720
We've already seen four of our comics
445
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,480
struggle to maintain eye
contact with a digital Fred,
446
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:44,680
while donning diving gear.
447
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:48,600
The only attempt left to see is that
of the comedian Noel Fielding.
448
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:51,760
Hey, how are you?
449
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:52,560
Good, how are you?
450
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,200
- Are you really Swedish?
- Yeah.
451
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:55,680
Yeah, you're pretty blond.
452
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,040
I'm quite blond as well,
but I dye my hair black.
453
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:01,000
It's important for me to maintain
a sort of goth sort of situation.
454
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,800
Otherwise I don't get any work.
455
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:03,600
Oh, OK. Yeah.
456
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,700
When it said put these things on...
457
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,520
could I just not put them on my head?
458
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:08,680
In a pile?
459
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,160
I might wear them like an
elaborate headpiece.
460
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:12,760
There you go. On the head.
461
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,760
It's nice talking to you.
I hope we can stay in touch.
462
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:15,500
Yeah.
463
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,560
I don't think we will,
though, will we?
464
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:18,460
Probably not.
465
00:22:18,460 --> 00:22:20,080
Alright, I'll see you later. Bye.
466
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:21,800
Yeah, see you. Bye.
467
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:28,280
What you just said on the video was,
468
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,320
"Realistically, I don't think
we're gonna stay in touch."
469
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,280
And I was gonna give you
a point for that honesty.
470
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,440
And that's the only point you're gonna
get out of this round, believe me.
471
00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:39,240
- Happy?
- Yeeah!
472
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,410
OK, well we can see it's
quite a complicated one.
473
00:22:41,410 --> 00:22:43,280
We have to use a graph
system, I'm afraid.
474
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:49,100
So this how they did before the penalty
points for eye-contact breakage.
475
00:22:49,100 --> 00:22:51,720
So it's whoever is
lowest has done the best.
476
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:55,400
So Noel was very quick, but you've
disqualified him, unfortunately.
477
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,360
Hugh, you're fastest at this point,
but when we adjust the scores...
478
00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:00,180
it ends up looking like this.
479
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:06,000
So actually it's Lolly, then Joe,
then Hugh and then Mel. OK?
480
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,160
Noel's also getting one point
for the small talk.
481
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:14,360
And a bonus point for Joe
for putting the wetsuit on fully.
482
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:15,680
He was the only one who
wore the wetsuit.
483
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:16,680
There you go.
484
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:20,920
Onwards, onwards.
485
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:22,620
Here's a sort of team task.
486
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:37,200
That looks a bit worrying.
487
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:38,820
Oh, look! Look!
488
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,680
"Please whisper this task to Alex."
489
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,120
Through the cans, please, Lolly.
490
00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:46,220
Oh...
491
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:53,300
Thank you, Lolly.
492
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,780
Joe, could you read
your task, please?
493
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,620
Noel, could you read
your one, please?
494
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:29,400
Thank you, Noel.
495
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,860
What I like about that is,
much like my good self,
496
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,680
Hugh was not at all
baffled by the cans,
497
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,060
because when we were children,
they were actual toys.
498
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,080
I'm not sure everybody fully
understands the task.
499
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:44,000
No. I do, though.
500
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,760
I understand the task is whoever
accomplishes the tasks best.
501
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,080
It's a team task. Whichever team
does best gets the points.
502
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:51,240
Oh, it's that straightforward, is it?
503
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,600
It's that straightforward.
504
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:56,360
Do you want to see how the most
loved double act on TV got on?
505
00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:57,580
Mel and Hugh. Here we go.
506
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:06,240
What are you doing?
507
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:07,380
Oh, no. Really?
508
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:09,900
What?
509
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,140
Oh, no, Hugh! No, no.
510
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:20,700
Hugh, what's going on?
511
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,200
I've got to put as many things
in the bathtub as possible.
512
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:25,840
- I've got to cover it with...
- You've got to cover it with...?
513
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:27,500
Oooh, my God.
514
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,860
I'm gonna have to leave
him a little space.
515
00:25:31,860 --> 00:25:34,440
Just getting all-- Oh, hang on.
516
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:35,540
That's good.
517
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:40,880
Argh!
518
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:42,540
This is so hard!
519
00:25:42,540 --> 00:25:44,780
This is really hard.
520
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:47,200
Shall I help you do that?
521
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,480
Have we got to cover it or
we don't get anything?
522
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,960
- We've got to cover the surface.
- With cling film?
523
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:53,400
With cling film.
524
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,200
You go over there.
You roll it back.
525
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:55,920
OK.
526
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:56,920
OK?
527
00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:00,440
Keep rolling, keep rolling so
you don't miss the end of it.
528
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:01,700
Cold feet here, Hugh.
529
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:04,080
Mel?
530
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:05,180
His feet are cold.
531
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:07,840
Quick, quick, quick,
quick, quick...
532
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,180
Right, just this-- No, no, no!
533
00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:13,000
Looking good,
534
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,000
looking very strong.
535
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,300
That's not bad.
536
00:26:16,300 --> 00:26:17,700
Come on, Hugh.
537
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,560
You cling-filming Alex's
feet is, again,
538
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,660
far cuter than peas in a pod.
539
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,800
What I thought was delightful
about the whole thing is,
540
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:36,080
no one told you this was a team task,
but you just worked together.
541
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:40,160
You worked out very quickly that you
both had different tasks to do.
542
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:43,840
Hugh, so chivalrous, "I'm gonna
start cling-filming as well."
543
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,540
I've nothing negative
to say about that.
544
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,400
That was just two people
helping each other.
545
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,500
- And I don't understand why...
- It's OK.
546
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:57,720
Just think, everything would
be a little bit better.
547
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:01,920
See, I refuse to accept the slightly younger
generation can't do exactly the same.
548
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:03,420
That they can't work together.
549
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:05,920
Here we go.
550
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:06,840
Everyone ready?
551
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,560
- Yeah.
- Um, are we all working together?
552
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:35,340
No idea what we're creating here.
553
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:38,260
No, I don't like you.
554
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:47,080
I can't get it out!
555
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,560
I think I got the easiest
part of this task.
556
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:50,520
How's it going, Noel?
557
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:52,200
Alright, yeah. I think so.
558
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,120
Not sure if I read my task properly.
559
00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:54,880
- You did.
- I did?
560
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:56,560
Fucking cling film!
561
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:14,180
Forty seconds left, Lolly.
562
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,400
Step away from the bath, please.
563
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,600
Thanks, guys. Great teamwork.
564
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,800
We should have told
each other our tasks.
565
00:28:45,500 --> 00:28:47,380
I mean, what have you got
to say for yourselves?
566
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:52,000
I mean, at least there was a slight
nod from Noel at the beginning,
567
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,020
"Is this a team task?" he asked,
and then he just stood there...
568
00:28:55,020 --> 00:28:58,120
pissing water into a bath
while Rome burned.
569
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:02,720
And I've got another question.
570
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,020
What's with the table?
571
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,680
- You put a giant table in about five times.
- I thought the table would...
572
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:11,840
stop the cling film from
ruining my journey.
573
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:13,820
Your journey.
574
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,280
They did put 39 things in.
575
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:17,960
Mainly stones and a wipe.
576
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,280
- They put a wipe.
- One wipe.
577
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:20,560
No tables, at the end.
578
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:23,160
No, no. The table was
yoyoed in and out.
579
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,000
I think I broke a table, didn't I?
580
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,040
Oh, you broke two tables,
and there was, um...
581
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:29,320
very little cling film.
Negligible.
582
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,400
- "N/A", I've put after the cling film.
- Awful, awful.
583
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:33,120
Post-nuclear apocalypse. Horrible.
584
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:37,280
Noel put quite a bit of water in,
but the table dislodged the plug, so...
585
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,280
Most of the water came out.
586
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:40,820
- You gonna mark it?
- Yep.
587
00:29:40,820 --> 00:29:42,640
OK, how many points are
the oldsters getting?
588
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,640
The oldsters get the full points.
589
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:45,840
- Full five points?
- Full five points.
590
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,120
And nothing for these,
not even Water Man?
591
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:48,940
- Of course, not. Zero.
- OK, so five to zero.
592
00:29:48,940 --> 00:29:52,040
- We got so much stuff in that bath.
- I think it's fair.
593
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,080
I've been absolutely rinsed.
594
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,040
Alex, hit me with the next task.
595
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,080
OK, I will. Get ready.
596
00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:59,180
Go!
597
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:11,900
Nice.
598
00:30:11,900 --> 00:30:13,520
Ooh!
599
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:14,980
Duck!
600
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,540
My duck friend! I love this duck.
601
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,480
"Throw something into something."
602
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,680
"Most unbelievable throw wins."
603
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,000
"You have ten minutes to
plan your throw."
604
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,960
"Then ten minutes to pull it off.
Your time starts now."
605
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:33,600
OK.
606
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:34,940
Just gonna pop to the shed.
607
00:30:34,940 --> 00:30:35,720
OK.
608
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:37,240
Feels like the right thing to do.
609
00:30:40,940 --> 00:30:42,760
So you're hoping for
something impressive.
610
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,080
I think that's the key word
here. "Impressive."
611
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,440
And you're hoping for one of those
videos that you see of somebody just...
612
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,520
tossing a basketball into a bin.
613
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:51,840
That the kids all watch online, yeah.
614
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:52,600
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
615
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,600
OK, well, we'll have a look
at three of them as one.
616
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:57,980
Joe, Lolly and Hugh.
617
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:12,020
Your ten minutes starts... now.
618
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:18,480
Ooh.
619
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:19,940
That was close, that one.
620
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:27,600
I can do this. I believe in myself.
621
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,420
Oh, that was so close!
622
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:04,980
Big dog in the hooouse!
623
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,120
I think the proof of the pudding
with these internet videos
624
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,040
is whether you can imagine people
chatting next to the water cooler
625
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:14,920
- on a Monday morning about them.
- Mm-hm.
626
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:16,620
So perhaps we could
roleplay some of them.
627
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:19,280
You just be standing
by the water cooler.
628
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:19,880
OK.
629
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:21,560
Ha, have you seen that video?
630
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:22,400
Which video?
631
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,240
The one of a guy throwing a nut...
632
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:25,720
Oh.
633
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:28,560
into the small end
of a traffic cone
634
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:32,180
that he is seated
relatively close to.
635
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,000
You try and do it, you bellend.
636
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:40,640
What job do we do
in the roleplay?
637
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:42,680
- Oh, in the office?
- Just need to get into the role more.
638
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:46,760
Um, we work in...
639
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:47,520
export.
640
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:49,600
OK.
641
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:51,420
We export meat.
642
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:53,560
Meat. Oh.
643
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:56,000
Ooh, lovely old shipment
of meat just went out.
644
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:57,640
Tell you what, though.
645
00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,360
You haven't seen that video
where a woman inexplicably
646
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:05,120
sits on a tennis umpire's chair
and throws handfuls of sweets
647
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,600
at a man seated on the ground
with a cup of tea in his hand?
648
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:08,760
No, very busy with my meat.
649
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:10,600
Oh, God.
650
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,320
Have you got one more video
to tempt me with?
651
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:14,560
Oh, yeah, I did see
this amazing video
652
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:16,160
- of a man...
- How old?
653
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:17,160
Oh...
654
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:20,520
realistically, mid-80s.
655
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:25,960
Who was attempting to make us believe
he'd thrown toast into a toaster
656
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:27,160
- which is on a roof.
- On a roof?
657
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,400
No reason for that!
It's on a roof.
658
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,120
But he forgot to take away
the previous attempts.
659
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:33,040
Oh.
660
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:35,320
So if it had gone in, it wouldn't
have looked impressive,
661
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:38,100
'cause we've all seen how
many times he's tried it.
662
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,680
- Have you seen that video?
- Yeah, I like that one.
663
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:42,920
Right, let's get these
pigs to France.
664
00:33:47,540 --> 00:33:50,840
Can I actually just say
something against myself,
665
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:53,640
which I hadn't realise until
watched that video?
666
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:56,000
Why am I throwing toast that's
already been toasted?
667
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:01,520
Wow.
668
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:03,680
Back in. Why?
669
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,220
Right. Ad time.
670
00:34:06,220 --> 00:34:08,720
Join us soon for the
final part of the show
671
00:34:08,720 --> 00:34:10,860
and a live task. Bye for now!
672
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:22,640
Hi there. Welcome back to Taskmaster.
673
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,920
It's the final quarter
of tonight's show,
674
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,520
and there's a bunch of
cute prizes to be won.
675
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:30,160
Alex is about to remind us what
was happening before the break,
676
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:31,440
weren't you, Alex? Hello!
677
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,640
Hi, Greg. Thanks for that, and good
evening to our viewers everywhere.
678
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,280
OK, so...
679
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:38,560
We've been doing a lot of throwing.
680
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:42,190
We've just got Noel and Mel left to go,
and we're gonna start with Noel,
681
00:34:42,190 --> 00:34:44,400
impressively throwing
something into something.
682
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,120
D'you see that video?
683
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,200
I did see it. I mean, I thought he
did throw something into something.
684
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,460
Yeah, he successfully threw
a tennis ball into a caravan.
685
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:27,750
It's really hard to catch that
on a tennis racket.
686
00:35:27,750 --> 00:35:28,220
Yeah.
687
00:35:28,220 --> 00:35:30,780
Then at the last minute...
688
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:33,640
- Such a shame.
- Mm-hm.
689
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,920
Such a shame, but I enjoyed
the ball going into the caravan.
690
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,280
- Yeah, that's what you wanted, isn't it?
- Yeah, yeah. It's enough for me.
691
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,360
Right. Back to it.
692
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:45,800
You prepare the meat, don't you?
693
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:47,020
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
694
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:49,520
This stuff's going to Japan.
695
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:51,520
Yeah.
696
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,160
Well, there is one more
to distract you.
697
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:54,480
Do you want to see Mel Giedroyc?
698
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:57,040
- Oh, yeah!
- OK. Have a look at this.
699
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:59,600
I used to love it on The A-Team...
700
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,920
when there would be a moving vehicle,
701
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:05,360
and people would run along...
702
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:07,820
and jump into the vehicle.
703
00:36:10,720 --> 00:36:12,260
I'd say that's throwable.
704
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:15,720
Where are you, Bernardo?
705
00:36:15,720 --> 00:36:17,220
Go, Alex!
706
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:22,160
I can't see a bloody thing.
707
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:23,460
Here we go, there's the car.
708
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,200
Yeees.
709
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:30,840
Did we do it?
710
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:31,940
Is he still in there?
711
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:34,300
Come on.
712
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:44,360
Did you see that woman throw half
a man into a slow-moving car?
713
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:46,920
Do you wanna judge them, then?
714
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:48,760
OK, well, it's difficult to know
what the worst is,
715
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:50,960
but I think it was
throwing M&Ms at you.
716
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:51,880
Skittles.
717
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:53,360
Oh! Oh, God.
718
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:56,660
Lolly's first.
719
00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:58,270
Yeees.
720
00:36:58,270 --> 00:36:59,260
Lolly's last.
721
00:36:59,260 --> 00:37:01,200
Er...
722
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,080
Nut Boy is a very close fourth.
723
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:04,800
OK, even though he got
it into a small hole?
724
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:06,440
Even though he got it
into a small hole,
725
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:08,100
it was fucking rubbish.
726
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,640
Er, obviously the bread maniac.
727
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:15,720
The caravan, I liked the ambition,
so I'm gonna put him in second.
728
00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:18,280
And the corpse into the moving
car takes first place.
729
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:19,380
OK, there we go.
730
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:21,840
What's the scoreboard
like at the moment?
731
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:23,000
I'll show you the
scoreboard if you want.
732
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,980
- Oooh!
- Well, it's still...
733
00:37:24,980 --> 00:37:27,040
not anyone's game, but Hugh and Mel
734
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:29,400
are vying for it at the top of
the league table. Here we go.
735
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,280
OK, it's time to stretch those legs.
736
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:40,420
Please make your way up to the stage
for the final task of the show!
737
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:48,080
Hello.
738
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:49,640
Hello, Greg!
739
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:51,440
Would you please ask Hugh
to read out the task?
740
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:52,680
Hello, Hugh.
741
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:53,440
Oh, hi.
742
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:54,840
Hello.
743
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:55,940
You alright, Hugh?
744
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:58,480
Thursday!
745
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:03,360
Right, the task is...
746
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:08,260
"Make the longest continuous noise."
747
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:13,920
"There will also be a bonus point
for the best noise."
748
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:14,720
Wow.
749
00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:18,000
If you four could all put on your
earphones and eye masks.
750
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,480
The reason that you're blindfolded
and having the headphones
751
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:22,680
is so you can't copy other
people's cool noises.
752
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:25,240
- Ah, shall we put them on now?
- Yep!
753
00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:26,680
What, so, long noise?
754
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:28,400
- Long, continuous noise, yes.
- OK.
755
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:29,880
If you could just stand in
front of your chair.
756
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:33,080
Continuous, and don't forget there's
a bonus point for the best noise.
757
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:41,760
He made me laugh!
758
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,960
Not fair! You made me laugh!
759
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:45,120
OK, Mel!
760
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:48,440
I mean, there's still a good chance you're
gonna get that extra bonus point, though.
761
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:50,680
Is my mascara a bit...?
762
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:52,000
- Yes, it is a bit.
- OK, that's fine.
763
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:53,580
- It really is.
- Alice Cooper.
764
00:38:53,580 --> 00:38:55,680
It really has messed it. Let's go.
765
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:12,480
Ah! There was a slight pause.
766
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,360
There was a slight break
in the death rattle.
767
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,520
There was a slight pause
in the death rattle.
768
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:18,920
Say what you want about Alex Horne,
769
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,080
he's on pauses like a fucking puma.
770
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:21,920
Thank you.
771
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:23,800
OK, so if you could just
stand there, Lolly. Alright?
772
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:25,880
- God, that music is horrible.
- It's terrible.
773
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:27,240
It's by The Horne Section.
774
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:31,320
OK, on the whistle.
775
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:32,720
- Good luck, Lolly.
- I have asthma.
776
00:39:32,720 --> 00:39:33,720
Me too. Ready?
777
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:37,700
- Love the stance.
- It's good.
778
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:08,280
If only you'd finished that with
a full vomit onto the stage.
779
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:11,780
Your turn!
780
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:14,780
No reaction whatsoever
to you kissing him.
781
00:40:14,780 --> 00:40:16,340
On the whistle, please, Joe.
782
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:52,360
Wow!
783
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,120
Wow!
784
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:55,220
Thirty-two.
785
00:40:56,240 --> 00:40:58,000
Your turn, Hugh. Your turn.
786
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,560
My feeling is Hugh's totally
forgotten where he is.
787
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:04,600
I don't even know whether this'll work.
788
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:05,800
Right, OK, well...
789
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,880
Are you sure you got the task right?
790
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:12,600
On the whistle.
791
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:22,480
It's all about the arms now.
792
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:26,220
Whoa...
793
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:29,400
Those muscles ain't so built up.
794
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:32,520
Keep going, mate.
795
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:34,200
I like how it's pointing at you, Greg.
796
00:41:35,720 --> 00:41:36,960
So do I.
797
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:38,960
- Go on, Desky.
- Go on, Desk.
798
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:40,380
You let it go, mate.
799
00:41:40,380 --> 00:41:42,000
Go on, Desky!
800
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:47,160
He got arrogant!
801
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,440
So, Greg, I will add
this up in a minute.
802
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:55,120
Do you wanna judge on the
bonus point for best noise?
803
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,120
Yeah. It'll come as
no surprise to you,
804
00:41:57,120 --> 00:41:58,840
I'm giving it to old Windmill there.
805
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:10,120
How are the scores?
806
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:15,220
Well, Noel - and you did interfere -
had four seconds.
807
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:17,960
You made me laugh.
808
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:19,440
I didn't mean to.
809
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:21,440
Then we go up to Mel with 14,
810
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:24,040
Lolly with 21, Hugh with 30,
811
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:26,120
but Joe got 32 seconds!
812
00:42:29,220 --> 00:42:31,320
So what has that done
to our final scores?
813
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:33,840
Well, thanks to that bonus point,
it means it's a tie.
814
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:35,800
Let's have a look.
815
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:37,800
- Ooh, it's a tie.
- Tie-break!
816
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:40,040
- Ooh!
- Mel and Hugh.
817
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:41,280
What do we do in this situation?
818
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,100
- We have a tie-break.
- Tie-break!
819
00:42:43,100 --> 00:42:45,000
Yes, over the past few months,
820
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:48,480
our contestants took part in
some tie-break challenges.
821
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:52,240
And in this tie-break,
we've asked them to speed-eat.
822
00:42:52,240 --> 00:42:53,360
- Ooh.
- Here we go.
823
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:55,280
"Eat as many peas as possible.
You have one minute."
824
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,020
"Your time starts now."
825
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:04,660
I'm gonna funnel them.
826
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:13,300
Mm.
827
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:29,920
Well, you certainly looked like
you got through some peas there.
828
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:31,360
Oh, yeah. Definitely
ate some peas, yeah.
829
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:33,000
- I'm on tenterhooks.
- Mm-hm.
830
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:34,560
Well, there were 500 peas on the table.
831
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:36,840
They both ate under 200 peas.
832
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:40,320
Mel ate 174 peas in one minute.
833
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:41,680
Almost three per second.
834
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:46,200
And Hugh ate... 199 peas.
835
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:49,660
He's done it!
836
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:55,360
So the rightful winner of the cute prizes
is none other than Hugh Dennis.
837
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:58,040
Please go and reap your rubbish rewards!
838
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:03,080
That was a good one, I think.
839
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:05,520
Yes, and for the record, you would
have been my cutest thing.
840
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:08,320
- Why don't you shut your dirty mouth?
- Yes, I will. I'm sorry.
841
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:10,000
So, what have we learnt today?
842
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,200
We've learnt that kids can't work together,
843
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,200
and the planet is gonna go up in flames.
844
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:15,820
We're all gonna burn.
845
00:44:15,820 --> 00:44:19,600
Please put your hands together
for tonight's magnificent winner,
846
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:21,460
Mr Hugh Dennis!
847
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:23,740
Farewell!