1 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,000 Hello! 2 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,400 Thank you. Stop it. Thank you. 3 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,800 I'm Greg Davies. Welcome to Taskmaster. 4 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,800 What a series this is turning out to be. 5 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:44,320 The Taskmaster trophy is edging closer to having a proud new owner, 6 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:47,960 and our comedians have never had to work so hard for something in their lives, 7 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:50,600 because, let's face it, they've got it pretty easy. 8 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,360 Let's meet them now. Our contenders are... 9 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:54,780 Hugh Dennis! 10 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:57,820 Joe Lycett! 11 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,100 Lolly Adefope! 12 00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:03,500 Mel Giedroyc! 13 00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:06,060 Noel Fielding! 14 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:11,360 And sidled up beside me, in his inferior armchair, 15 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,320 it's Little Alex Horne. 16 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:21,680 I've sensed a new-found confidence in you during this series. 17 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:23,560 - Have you genuinely? - Yes, I have. 18 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:24,800 Thank you. 19 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,480 And quite right too, 'cause I'm feeling chipper. 20 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,680 I think I've secured my sort of future. 21 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,640 I've invented something to make some money. 22 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:33,400 Have you? 23 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,180 Cola Mobile. 24 00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:37,080 So it's like normal Cola, which is delicious, 25 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:38,560 but you can take it, you can drink it anywhere. 26 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,480 You take it... 27 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,520 It's like mobile phones compared to the landline. 28 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,100 You just drink it, take it to a park... 29 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:51,920 Please can we hear today's prize category, Alex? 30 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:52,720 Certainly, Greg. 31 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:55,200 So we've asked them to bring in their cutest thing. 32 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,040 - OK? That's nice. - That is nice. 33 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,040 So it's up to you, Greg-- Greg Davies, isn't it? 34 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,910 To judge which of their things is the cutest. 35 00:02:01,910 --> 00:02:02,600 - Yup. - OK? 36 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,440 The person who has brought in the cutest thing will gain five points, 37 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,210 and the winner of the whole episode 38 00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,440 will walk home with five really cute things. 39 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,240 - Wow, all to play for. - It's a lovely start, yeah. 40 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:15,400 And I guess part of this is judging what I personally would find cute. 41 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:16,720 Very big part of it, yeah. 42 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:17,820 Oh dear. 43 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:19,640 Lolly, hello. 44 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,400 Hello. 45 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:21,600 What do you consider cute? 46 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,040 I've brought in a photo of myself. 47 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,160 - Ooh. - Yeah. 48 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,400 Awww. 49 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,080 Aw, that's so cute. 50 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,000 Look, holding the rose! 51 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,380 I'd just done a show and they threw roses at me. 52 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:39,880 Even back then you were getting standing ovations. 53 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,960 Well, it is cute, but it also looks like you've been buried up to your neck... 54 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,460 in that duvet. 55 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:47,840 OK, listen. 56 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:48,840 I think it's cute. 57 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:49,840 Do you think it's cute? 58 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,680 - Yes! - It's a great start. Noel? 59 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:54,000 - Hello. - What have you brought in that's cute? 60 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,440 Well, I thought, "I tell you what," 61 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,520 "What'd be great is if you could make anything cute." 62 00:02:58,520 --> 00:02:59,440 Wow. 63 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:03,400 So I've got a plate of cute googly eyes. Look... 64 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,960 Right, I'm gonna say that that plate isn't cute. 65 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:12,240 No, but take something quite violent, like a weapon, and make it cute. 66 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:13,640 - Look, hammer. - Oh! 67 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,680 Cute! 68 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:19,000 Who would mind having their head stoved in by that? 69 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,120 Exactly. 70 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:21,600 I mean, it genuinely works, doesn't it? 71 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:22,640 You look so happy. 72 00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:24,120 - It's really cute. - Yeah. 73 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:27,040 Joe, you're up against it here. Two very cute things. 74 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:31,640 I have a picture of my favourite creature in the whole world. 75 00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:33,960 It's Bertie the dog. 76 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:35,560 Aww. 77 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,320 We go on tour together sometimes, and in Bristol, 78 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,920 they were a bit nervous about him coming to the show, 79 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,920 and I was explaining to them, "Thank you for letting him in." 80 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:45,040 "He's really well-behaved." 81 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:48,680 And looked behind me, and he was taking a shit in the auditorium. 82 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:53,640 But, seemingly, he was punished by having his back half removed. 83 00:03:56,800 --> 00:04:00,100 Difficult to poop when you haven't got the apparatus, isn't it? 84 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:02,200 Dear me. 85 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:06,080 No one has put a foot wrong so far. Let's see if that's about to change. 86 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:06,720 Hugh? 87 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:07,800 Yeah, well, it will be, 88 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:11,320 'cause the history of this is that I've come last in every single prize task. 89 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:12,600 Oh, for sure you have. 90 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:17,040 Yeah. Well, you see, I also have a very cute thing. It's a little toy. 91 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:17,880 Which is that. 92 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,280 We've got a picture of that on the screen, just for the audience. 93 00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,040 - It's a lovely little cat thing. - Yeah. 94 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:25,240 I mean, my instant reaction is, "You've done it again, Hugh." 95 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:27,840 Here you go. 96 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:29,700 Oh, ugh. Thanks. 97 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,600 Sweet, isn't it? It's a sort of little stress-reduction thing. 98 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,280 I find that, in its stationary position, 99 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,740 and in its eyes-extended position, 100 00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:45,230 accompanied with the noise it makes... 101 00:04:45,230 --> 00:04:46,020 Cute? 102 00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:48,360 to be the direct antithesis of cute. 103 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,080 So, perfect. 104 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:53,640 My mission is complete. 105 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:57,120 Mel? 106 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:00,520 I've brought in, um... It's sooo cute. 107 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,760 It's a little towelling pea pod, 108 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:07,640 and then you unzip it, and then you see the little three peas inside. 109 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,560 Honestly, gang, check this out. 110 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,720 Have a look. 111 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,120 - Awww. - Look! 112 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,240 And they've all got little names! 113 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:15,960 He doesn't-- He doesn't like it, Mel. 114 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:16,480 What? 115 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,120 - What's wrong, Greg? - Doesn't work for me. 116 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,080 No? 117 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,320 They've all got different characters and different voices. 118 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:23,760 - Have they? - You can do different voices. 119 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,240 Do the voices of each of the three, and I'll see if that makes it better. 120 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,600 The one on the left speaks like that. 121 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:29,600 Oh, dear. 122 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,120 Oooh, dear. 123 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:36,080 And the one in the middle talks like that. 124 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:39,820 Oh, well, he's clearly having an inappropriate relationship with them. 125 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,680 And the one on the right talks like that. 126 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:44,720 Irritating. 127 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,720 Can you judge it? 128 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:47,720 Oh, yeah, yeah. 129 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:48,560 Go on, then. 130 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,080 Can I give you fifth and last? Can I tell you... 131 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,740 You don't need to. They all know. 132 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,840 Lolly, there is no question that your picture is the cutest thing. 133 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:57,920 Congratulations. 134 00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:59,880 Thank you so much. 135 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,880 Lolly Adefope in first. OK. 136 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:05,600 Very, very close between Noel and Joe, for me. 137 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,520 But I'm gonna give it to Joe. Do you know why? 138 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,560 'Cause that dog's been sawn in half, and it needs... 139 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:11,760 - It needs some help. - OK. 140 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:13,920 Very close third place. 141 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,400 Sorry, don't give a shit about the peas in the pod. 142 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:17,530 They'll be very sad! 143 00:06:17,530 --> 00:06:18,360 Oh, I'm sorry! 144 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,700 They can fucking deal with it. 145 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,640 Sorry, can I just confirm who's in last place? It wasn't quite clear. 146 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:25,960 Oh, no, let's not bother. Let's just crack on. 147 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,400 - OK, fine. - OK. 148 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:29,880 Very good. We're off. What's next? 149 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,320 It's the first of the tasks. It's the slipperiest of the tasks. 150 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:33,860 - Oooh! - Ready? 151 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:49,280 Hello. 152 00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:50,380 Hello, Hugh. 153 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:54,280 It's very, um... It's very well sealed, that one. 154 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,840 "Slide the furthest." 155 00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:59,560 "You have 20 minutes and one attempt." 156 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,240 "Your time starts now." 157 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,160 Holy mackerel. 158 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,560 Slide the furthest? 159 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,320 I need to be higher, don't I, in order to... 160 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:13,220 No, not necessarily. I just need trajectory. 161 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,040 Alright. Shed. 162 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,780 One slide, and it's the furthest wins? 163 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,040 OK. 164 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,760 A slide is basically, um... 165 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,200 It's action without friction. 166 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,880 Sounds like a slogan. 167 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,560 Yeah! I like that. 168 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:36,580 I want to focus on "action without friction." 169 00:07:36,580 --> 00:07:38,440 Not my understanding of a slide. 170 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:39,040 Really? 171 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:42,200 Well, if there was no friction, you'd carry on for ever, wouldn't you? 172 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:46,000 Yeah. The only place you can slide with no friction is space. 173 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,840 Oh, we should have gone to space! 174 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,800 Who are we gonna see first, doing action with some friction? 175 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:56,120 We saw Joe using technical terms like "trajectory" and "higher"... 176 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,300 So I thought we'd start... 177 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,280 start with Joe and Lolly, if that's alright. 178 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,600 - Jolly. - Jolly. 179 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:23,800 - Butter? - Butter. 180 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:30,980 It's all about the, uh... 181 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:40,440 This is nice. 182 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:41,280 Is it? 183 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:42,660 - It's lovely. - Looks nice. 184 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:49,460 I'm ready. 185 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,080 Yeah, we're gonna hold that there. It's exciting. 186 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,180 We're not gonna show what they've done till the end of the task. 187 00:08:59,180 --> 00:08:59,720 Oh, right. 188 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,280 But instead we're gonna start with Hugh, 189 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,680 who is exactly the same age as Joe and Lolly combined. 190 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:17,460 Got your rope? 191 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:19,580 My rope. 192 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:42,980 Two metres, Hugh. 193 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,240 He dragged himself a full 18 metres 90, 194 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:57,560 which is the length of the Titanic. 195 00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,120 A scale model of the Titanic. 196 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,920 - Not bad. - Thank you. 197 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:04,960 Who shall we see? 198 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,320 - Well, uh... - Noel. 199 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,300 - Noel! Yeah, Noel. - Noel. 200 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,620 Let's see if this works, in principle... 201 00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:20,380 I'd say this is sliding. 202 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,060 I don't think-- I don't think I'm using that. 203 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:26,900 Going from up here. 204 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,220 14 metres. 205 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,920 You've got four minutes left. You're still sliding, are you? 206 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,060 - Yeah. - Yeah? 207 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:56,700 That's another 14 metres. 208 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,440 - I'm out. - You're out? 209 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:04,440 Yeah. 210 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,160 Always cool. 211 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:09,360 Looked cool. 212 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,240 It certainly looked cool. 213 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,960 - Real... real dignity. - Mm-hm. 214 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:14,880 Um, some controversy with this one, then. 215 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:16,680 Well, the rules were you have one attempt. 216 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:18,840 You could test out the slide, but you had one attempt. 217 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,880 Why didn't you stop me, then, you dick? 218 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:26,120 I mean, it's a very good question. 219 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,480 Absolutely exhausted. 220 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,400 At the time, you thought it was one sliding session. 221 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:31,960 Yeah. 222 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,200 But you were taking readings... 223 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:37,000 No, I would be angry with him as well, but it's just one slide, 224 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,900 so whichever was the longest of the slides is the one that'll have to count. 225 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,800 So we've got 14 metres and 19 metres. 226 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:44,520 We still haven't seen how these guys have got on on their three metres of tarpaulin. 227 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:45,520 Do we need to? 228 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:50,440 Pretty sure that Lolly will have crashed through the gates, 229 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,880 grabbed hold of the bumper of a car, and done five or six miles. 230 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,480 Well, we'll have a look after the break. 231 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,720 Right, time for an advert or two. 232 00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,020 See you in a short while. 233 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,640 Welcome back to good old Taskmaster. 234 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:14,880 It's part two and we've been watching a sliding scale of comedians. 235 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,280 Oh, you're right. Yes, we have. 236 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,280 We've watched Hugh tugging himself an impressive length... 237 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,350 And then Noel had a whole sliding session. 238 00:12:23,350 --> 00:12:27,040 We've saving Joe and Lolly till the end, so it's just Mrs Giedroyc. 239 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,320 Mrs Sled-royc. 240 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:29,420 Sled-royc. Yeah. 241 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:36,720 Zip me up, love. 242 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,540 This is absolutely brilliant. 243 00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:42,320 Action without friction, guys. 244 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,520 This is what we're aiming for. Let's do it. 245 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,040 Oh, this feels excellent. 246 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:49,520 This feels absolutely marvellous. 247 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,720 Keep it going, team. Use the hill. 248 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,480 Now we're back on grass. 249 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,440 Keep going round the corner if you can, 250 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,120 and back! Back up the hill! 251 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,440 You've got two minutes left. 252 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,600 Oh, my God. Guys, this is... 253 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,840 You're doing amazing work. 254 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,240 Stay on the grass. 255 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:05,960 You are incredible. 256 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,320 That's the end of the slide. 257 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,120 Oh. My. God. 258 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:12,180 I think that's the most fun I've had, sliding. 259 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,760 Action without friction. 260 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:20,040 - Mm-hm. - I mean, ironically, 261 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,520 if you'd have brought a picture of that in, 262 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,620 of you cocooned up in that... 263 00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:27,020 You'd have taken round one as well. 264 00:13:27,020 --> 00:13:29,720 Did you like me as a little caterpillar, Greg? 265 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,720 Ugh, I did. 266 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:37,400 She slid 56 and a half metres. Well over a metre. 267 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,590 56 and a half metres. 268 00:13:40,590 --> 00:13:42,360 You'd think she had this in the bag. 269 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:47,460 But she's yet to face a man who's rubbed butter and cream onto himself. 270 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:52,640 And a woman who thinks that she's gonna be able to slide on concrete. 271 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:53,680 Are you ready? 272 00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:55,040 - Yeah! - Here we go. 273 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,800 I'll go to your fingertips. 274 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:40,920 Ooh, it's not far. 275 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:45,560 I missed it. 276 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:49,880 If Lolly had worn a wool suit and fallen onto velcro, 277 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:51,160 would she have slid...? 278 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,920 - The same. - The same amount. 279 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,960 Lolly slid 3.2 metres. 280 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,320 That's the same height as Kylie Minogue standing on a horse. 281 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,520 Joe, five metres 80. 282 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:07,160 Vince Vaughn on Owen Wilson on Ben Stiller on an unlit barbecue. 283 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,920 Like one of those small ones. 284 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,440 But there's a clear winner and that is, uh... 285 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,000 - Mel Giedroyc! - Bam! 286 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:17,680 How's the scoreboard looking now, Alex? 287 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:18,840 It couldn't be much closer. 288 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:20,340 Hugh is trailing but only by one, 289 00:15:20,340 --> 00:15:22,360 then there are three people in second place. 290 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,720 Mel Giedroyc in first place on seven points. 291 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:25,720 Brilliant! 292 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,440 Do you think the next task might do something to rekindle our relationship with Europe? 293 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:35,120 I believe it can, and if we all believe, then believe me. 294 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,540 Here's the next task. 295 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:53,920 Hello. 296 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:54,880 Hello, Lolly. 297 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,460 Oh, exciting. 298 00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:58,580 Is that an actual person? 299 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:00,760 Hello. 300 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,100 Who's that? 301 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:07,760 Hello. 302 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:08,860 Hello! 303 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:12,300 Hello. 304 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:13,320 Hello. 305 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,680 I don't do this. Filming yourself. 306 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,720 Doesn't appear to be a task here. 307 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:18,360 Yeah. 308 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,760 Oh, that's-- Oh, good! 309 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:25,000 "Maintaining constant eye contact and making continuous small talk..." 310 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,200 "with this Swedish person," 311 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:30,380 "put on the wetsuit, flippers, face mask and snorkel." 312 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,440 Where even are those things? 313 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,320 "Your head may not leave the Swedish person's frame at any point." 314 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,640 "You may not move the laptop from its current position." 315 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:39,760 "Fastest wins." 316 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,760 "Your time..." Taking my shoes off. 317 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,680 "Your time starts... when..." 318 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:47,720 "when the Swedish person smiles at you." 319 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:52,080 I don't... I don't know where it is. 320 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,720 Different approach to webcam chat. 321 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,040 You were very uncomfortable with it, Mel. 322 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:03,480 I don't do that thing where you look at someone on the screen and... 323 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:04,000 chat. 324 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,000 You think it's a bit smutty? 325 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:08,680 It's just the idea of somehow it being in your own home... 326 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,920 - It's all a bit private. - Is that what you call it? 327 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:16,840 So, they had to put on a wetsuit while making small talk with a Swede. 328 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:17,280 Yeah. 329 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:20,000 We're gonna dock you five seconds every time you break eye contact. 330 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:20,920 - Ooh. - OK? 331 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,640 And also there's a bonus point for whoever puts on the wetsuit best, 332 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:24,960 'cause there were some struggles. 333 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,220 We're gonna start off with Mel and Joe. Here we go. 334 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:29,960 Ah, so sweet! 335 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,400 OK, right, come on. 336 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:32,440 Constant eye contact, please. 337 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:33,800 Sorry, constant eye contact. 338 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,000 That's a smile, innit? I've got to start. 339 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,240 What's your name? 340 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:38,040 Fred. 341 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:42,000 So, um, what do you tend to do for Christmas? 342 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,400 Visit my parents. 343 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,840 What kind of line of work are you in? 344 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:47,480 I'm a painter-decorator and a musician. 345 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,160 A painter-decorator and a musician? 346 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,240 That's a niche couple of things, isn't it? 347 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:51,760 Mm-hm. 348 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:56,440 I've never actually done... a thing where you film yourself into a computer. 349 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,960 - Eye contact, please, Mel. - Oh, God, sorry. I just looked down. 350 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,160 I was looking for my zip. 351 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:01,880 To do up. 352 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,240 I like you. Are you single? 353 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:06,000 Yeah. 354 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,360 Do you like to cook... 355 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:08,840 Swedish food? 356 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:10,280 No, I think it's quite boring. 357 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:11,240 Really? 358 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,720 What are you looking for in a relationship? 359 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:16,960 Good question. See, that's probably why I'm single. 360 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,720 Oh, no! 361 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,560 What's your favourite, er, type of quiche? 362 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,340 Quiche? 363 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,320 You look great. 364 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,760 It's done something! 365 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,640 Eye contact, please, Joe. 366 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,680 And how long have you been single? 367 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,880 - Two years. - Oh, my God. 368 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,960 I think things are gonna be alright for you, though. 369 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:37,760 Thanks, man. 370 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,000 Erm, I've got to put the snorkel in, so... 371 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,100 Tatty-byes, my love. Great to talk. 372 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,960 I don't think it's disrespectful to suggest 373 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,880 that if Fred did have inappropriate thoughts, 374 00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,760 as soon as the mask went on... 375 00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:03,060 maybe his desire left him. 376 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,080 I thought they both did very well. 377 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:06,640 Yes? 378 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,800 Joe genuinely flirting with Fred. 379 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,200 - You-- Unbelievable. - I think he's very handsome. 380 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,080 - He was nice, wasn't he? - He's single. 381 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:13,680 Mellow. 382 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:14,840 Did you get his number? 383 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:15,680 No, I didn't. 384 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:18,400 The problem was you started with small talk, with the quiche chat. 385 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,000 You asked him what his favourite yoghurt was. 386 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,420 - That's incredible small talk, by the way. - Very small, yes. 387 00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:25,320 Started with small talk, drifted into big talk. 388 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:26,240 - He asked him... - Big talk. 389 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,520 You said, "Are you single? I think you'll be OK. I believe in you." 390 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:30,160 Wow. 391 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,320 - Is that small talk? - That's not small talk. 392 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,720 I'm obviously going in with the wrong chats on Tinder, aren't I? 393 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:36,920 Oh, yeah. Definitely. 394 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,800 If you're gonna go in with existential stuff, you're gonna remain single. 395 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:40,880 "What's your favourite yoghurt?" 396 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,200 "How do you feel about death?" 397 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,000 He was quick, though. Very quick. 398 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,720 Four minutes 22 to put the entire wetsuit on, 399 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,840 whereas six minutes four to put on sort of half a wetsuit. 400 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:54,000 Let's see if Hugh and Lolly managed to charm the Swede. 401 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,400 Here we go. 402 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,520 Is that a smile? 403 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:57,920 I don't think that is a smile. 404 00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:01,280 That's a kind of a mad, crazed killer sort of look. 405 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:02,480 And what do you do? 406 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,640 I'm a musician and a decorator. 407 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,920 Oh, cool. What kind of music do you play? 408 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:09,240 Little bit of everything. 409 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,680 Oh, you're back. Hello. 410 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,440 I'm maintaining eye contact with you. 411 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,000 What's your favourite colour to paint? 412 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:16,600 Blue. 413 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:17,960 I knew you were gonna say that! 414 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:19,840 So do you go to IKEA a lot? 415 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,440 Not really, no. 416 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,440 Eye contact please, Hugh. 417 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,240 What did you last paint blue? 418 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,320 - Er, a kitchen. - Lovely. 419 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,320 I am wearing this now, so... 420 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,040 Mmm. 421 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,640 Interesting. We were talking about the definition of small talk, 422 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,920 and perhaps Joe jazzed it up a little bit too much. 423 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:47,040 Is "What was the last thing you painted blue?" going too far the other way? 424 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,360 - I think that was tiny talk. - That's tiny talk. 425 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:51,460 Tiny talk. 426 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,200 They were both quick, though. 427 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,920 Three minutes 45 by Hugh, four minutes 10. 428 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:59,120 How much of the wetsuit did Hugh actually have on? 429 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:00,040 All of it. 430 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:00,720 Half? 431 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:01,400 ♪ Haaalf? ♪ 432 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:02,720 Sorry. ♪ Haaalf? ♪ 433 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,900 Well, I'm not sure that was on the task. 434 00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:07,080 I didn't say you have to put it-- It just said put the wetsuit on. 435 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:07,680 It did. 436 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,400 So it doesn't mean put it on, it just means have it on. 437 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,200 Just Noel's attempt left to see. 438 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,760 But not until we've gorged on advertising. 439 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:17,860 See you after that. 440 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,280 You've returned to the third part of Taskmaster, 441 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,120 where we're trying to maintain a healthy relationship with Europe 442 00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:36,840 by video-calling our old pal, Fred, in Sweden. 443 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:37,920 Too right, Greg. 444 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:39,720 We've already seen four of our comics 445 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,480 struggle to maintain eye contact with a digital Fred, 446 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:44,680 while donning diving gear. 447 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:48,600 The only attempt left to see is that of the comedian Noel Fielding. 448 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:51,760 Hey, how are you? 449 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:52,560 Good, how are you? 450 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,200 - Are you really Swedish? - Yeah. 451 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:55,680 Yeah, you're pretty blond. 452 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,040 I'm quite blond as well, but I dye my hair black. 453 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:01,000 It's important for me to maintain a sort of goth sort of situation. 454 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,800 Otherwise I don't get any work. 455 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:03,600 Oh, OK. Yeah. 456 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,700 When it said put these things on... 457 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,520 could I just not put them on my head? 458 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:08,680 In a pile? 459 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,160 I might wear them like an elaborate headpiece. 460 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:12,760 There you go. On the head. 461 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,760 It's nice talking to you. I hope we can stay in touch. 462 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:15,500 Yeah. 463 00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,560 I don't think we will, though, will we? 464 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:18,460 Probably not. 465 00:22:18,460 --> 00:22:20,080 Alright, I'll see you later. Bye. 466 00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:21,800 Yeah, see you. Bye. 467 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:28,280 What you just said on the video was, 468 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,320 "Realistically, I don't think we're gonna stay in touch." 469 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,280 And I was gonna give you a point for that honesty. 470 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,440 And that's the only point you're gonna get out of this round, believe me. 471 00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:39,240 - Happy? - Yeeah! 472 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,410 OK, well we can see it's quite a complicated one. 473 00:22:41,410 --> 00:22:43,280 We have to use a graph system, I'm afraid. 474 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:49,100 So this how they did before the penalty points for eye-contact breakage. 475 00:22:49,100 --> 00:22:51,720 So it's whoever is lowest has done the best. 476 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:55,400 So Noel was very quick, but you've disqualified him, unfortunately. 477 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,360 Hugh, you're fastest at this point, but when we adjust the scores... 478 00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:00,180 it ends up looking like this. 479 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:06,000 So actually it's Lolly, then Joe, then Hugh and then Mel. OK? 480 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,160 Noel's also getting one point for the small talk. 481 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:14,360 And a bonus point for Joe for putting the wetsuit on fully. 482 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:15,680 He was the only one who wore the wetsuit. 483 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:16,680 There you go. 484 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:20,920 Onwards, onwards. 485 00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:22,620 Here's a sort of team task. 486 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:37,200 That looks a bit worrying. 487 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:38,820 Oh, look! Look! 488 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,680 "Please whisper this task to Alex." 489 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,120 Through the cans, please, Lolly. 490 00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:46,220 Oh... 491 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:53,300 Thank you, Lolly. 492 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,780 Joe, could you read your task, please? 493 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,620 Noel, could you read your one, please? 494 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:29,400 Thank you, Noel. 495 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,860 What I like about that is, much like my good self, 496 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,680 Hugh was not at all baffled by the cans, 497 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,060 because when we were children, they were actual toys. 498 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,080 I'm not sure everybody fully understands the task. 499 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:44,000 No. I do, though. 500 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,760 I understand the task is whoever accomplishes the tasks best. 501 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,080 It's a team task. Whichever team does best gets the points. 502 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:51,240 Oh, it's that straightforward, is it? 503 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,600 It's that straightforward. 504 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:56,360 Do you want to see how the most loved double act on TV got on? 505 00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:57,580 Mel and Hugh. Here we go. 506 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:06,240 What are you doing? 507 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:07,380 Oh, no. Really? 508 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:09,900 What? 509 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,140 Oh, no, Hugh! No, no. 510 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:20,700 Hugh, what's going on? 511 00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,200 I've got to put as many things in the bathtub as possible. 512 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:25,840 - I've got to cover it with... - You've got to cover it with...? 513 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:27,500 Oooh, my God. 514 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,860 I'm gonna have to leave him a little space. 515 00:25:31,860 --> 00:25:34,440 Just getting all-- Oh, hang on. 516 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:35,540 That's good. 517 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:40,880 Argh! 518 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:42,540 This is so hard! 519 00:25:42,540 --> 00:25:44,780 This is really hard. 520 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:47,200 Shall I help you do that? 521 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,480 Have we got to cover it or we don't get anything? 522 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,960 - We've got to cover the surface. - With cling film? 523 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:53,400 With cling film. 524 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,200 You go over there. You roll it back. 525 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:55,920 OK. 526 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:56,920 OK? 527 00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:00,440 Keep rolling, keep rolling so you don't miss the end of it. 528 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:01,700 Cold feet here, Hugh. 529 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:04,080 Mel? 530 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:05,180 His feet are cold. 531 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:07,840 Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick... 532 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,180 Right, just this-- No, no, no! 533 00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:13,000 Looking good, 534 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,000 looking very strong. 535 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,300 That's not bad. 536 00:26:16,300 --> 00:26:17,700 Come on, Hugh. 537 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,560 You cling-filming Alex's feet is, again, 538 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,660 far cuter than peas in a pod. 539 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,800 What I thought was delightful about the whole thing is, 540 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:36,080 no one told you this was a team task, but you just worked together. 541 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:40,160 You worked out very quickly that you both had different tasks to do. 542 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:43,840 Hugh, so chivalrous, "I'm gonna start cling-filming as well." 543 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,540 I've nothing negative to say about that. 544 00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,400 That was just two people helping each other. 545 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,500 - And I don't understand why... - It's OK. 546 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:57,720 Just think, everything would be a little bit better. 547 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:01,920 See, I refuse to accept the slightly younger generation can't do exactly the same. 548 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:03,420 That they can't work together. 549 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:05,920 Here we go. 550 00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:06,840 Everyone ready? 551 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,560 - Yeah. - Um, are we all working together? 552 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:35,340 No idea what we're creating here. 553 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:38,260 No, I don't like you. 554 00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:47,080 I can't get it out! 555 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,560 I think I got the easiest part of this task. 556 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:50,520 How's it going, Noel? 557 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:52,200 Alright, yeah. I think so. 558 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,120 Not sure if I read my task properly. 559 00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:54,880 - You did. - I did? 560 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:56,560 Fucking cling film! 561 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:14,180 Forty seconds left, Lolly. 562 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,400 Step away from the bath, please. 563 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,600 Thanks, guys. Great teamwork. 564 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,800 We should have told each other our tasks. 565 00:28:45,500 --> 00:28:47,380 I mean, what have you got to say for yourselves? 566 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:52,000 I mean, at least there was a slight nod from Noel at the beginning, 567 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,020 "Is this a team task?" he asked, and then he just stood there... 568 00:28:55,020 --> 00:28:58,120 pissing water into a bath while Rome burned. 569 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:02,720 And I've got another question. 570 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,020 What's with the table? 571 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,680 - You put a giant table in about five times. - I thought the table would... 572 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:11,840 stop the cling film from ruining my journey. 573 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:13,820 Your journey. 574 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,280 They did put 39 things in. 575 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:17,960 Mainly stones and a wipe. 576 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,280 - They put a wipe. - One wipe. 577 00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:20,560 No tables, at the end. 578 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:23,160 No, no. The table was yoyoed in and out. 579 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,000 I think I broke a table, didn't I? 580 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,040 Oh, you broke two tables, and there was, um... 581 00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:29,320 very little cling film. Negligible. 582 00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,400 - "N/A", I've put after the cling film. - Awful, awful. 583 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:33,120 Post-nuclear apocalypse. Horrible. 584 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:37,280 Noel put quite a bit of water in, but the table dislodged the plug, so... 585 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,280 Most of the water came out. 586 00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:40,820 - You gonna mark it? - Yep. 587 00:29:40,820 --> 00:29:42,640 OK, how many points are the oldsters getting? 588 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,640 The oldsters get the full points. 589 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:45,840 - Full five points? - Full five points. 590 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,120 And nothing for these, not even Water Man? 591 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:48,940 - Of course, not. Zero. - OK, so five to zero. 592 00:29:48,940 --> 00:29:52,040 - We got so much stuff in that bath. - I think it's fair. 593 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,080 I've been absolutely rinsed. 594 00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,040 Alex, hit me with the next task. 595 00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,080 OK, I will. Get ready. 596 00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:59,180 Go! 597 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:11,900 Nice. 598 00:30:11,900 --> 00:30:13,520 Ooh! 599 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:14,980 Duck! 600 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,540 My duck friend! I love this duck. 601 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,480 "Throw something into something." 602 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,680 "Most unbelievable throw wins." 603 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,000 "You have ten minutes to plan your throw." 604 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,960 "Then ten minutes to pull it off. Your time starts now." 605 00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:33,600 OK. 606 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:34,940 Just gonna pop to the shed. 607 00:30:34,940 --> 00:30:35,720 OK. 608 00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:37,240 Feels like the right thing to do. 609 00:30:40,940 --> 00:30:42,760 So you're hoping for something impressive. 610 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,080 I think that's the key word here. "Impressive." 611 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,440 And you're hoping for one of those videos that you see of somebody just... 612 00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,520 tossing a basketball into a bin. 613 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:51,840 That the kids all watch online, yeah. 614 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:52,600 - Hmm. - Yeah. 615 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,600 OK, well, we'll have a look at three of them as one. 616 00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:57,980 Joe, Lolly and Hugh. 617 00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:12,020 Your ten minutes starts... now. 618 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:18,480 Ooh. 619 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:19,940 That was close, that one. 620 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:27,600 I can do this. I believe in myself. 621 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,420 Oh, that was so close! 622 00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:04,980 Big dog in the hooouse! 623 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,120 I think the proof of the pudding with these internet videos 624 00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,040 is whether you can imagine people chatting next to the water cooler 625 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:14,920 - on a Monday morning about them. - Mm-hm. 626 00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:16,620 So perhaps we could roleplay some of them. 627 00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:19,280 You just be standing by the water cooler. 628 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:19,880 OK. 629 00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:21,560 Ha, have you seen that video? 630 00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:22,400 Which video? 631 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,240 The one of a guy throwing a nut... 632 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:25,720 Oh. 633 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:28,560 into the small end of a traffic cone 634 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:32,180 that he is seated relatively close to. 635 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,000 You try and do it, you bellend. 636 00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:40,640 What job do we do in the roleplay? 637 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:42,680 - Oh, in the office? - Just need to get into the role more. 638 00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:46,760 Um, we work in... 639 00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:47,520 export. 640 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:49,600 OK. 641 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:51,420 We export meat. 642 00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:53,560 Meat. Oh. 643 00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:56,000 Ooh, lovely old shipment of meat just went out. 644 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:57,640 Tell you what, though. 645 00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,360 You haven't seen that video where a woman inexplicably 646 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:05,120 sits on a tennis umpire's chair and throws handfuls of sweets 647 00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,600 at a man seated on the ground with a cup of tea in his hand? 648 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:08,760 No, very busy with my meat. 649 00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:10,600 Oh, God. 650 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,320 Have you got one more video to tempt me with? 651 00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:14,560 Oh, yeah, I did see this amazing video 652 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:16,160 - of a man... - How old? 653 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:17,160 Oh... 654 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:20,520 realistically, mid-80s. 655 00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:25,960 Who was attempting to make us believe he'd thrown toast into a toaster 656 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:27,160 - which is on a roof. - On a roof? 657 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,400 No reason for that! It's on a roof. 658 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,120 But he forgot to take away the previous attempts. 659 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:33,040 Oh. 660 00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:35,320 So if it had gone in, it wouldn't have looked impressive, 661 00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:38,100 'cause we've all seen how many times he's tried it. 662 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,680 - Have you seen that video? - Yeah, I like that one. 663 00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:42,920 Right, let's get these pigs to France. 664 00:33:47,540 --> 00:33:50,840 Can I actually just say something against myself, 665 00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:53,640 which I hadn't realise until watched that video? 666 00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:56,000 Why am I throwing toast that's already been toasted? 667 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:01,520 Wow. 668 00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:03,680 Back in. Why? 669 00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,220 Right. Ad time. 670 00:34:06,220 --> 00:34:08,720 Join us soon for the final part of the show 671 00:34:08,720 --> 00:34:10,860 and a live task. Bye for now! 672 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:22,640 Hi there. Welcome back to Taskmaster. 673 00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,920 It's the final quarter of tonight's show, 674 00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,520 and there's a bunch of cute prizes to be won. 675 00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:30,160 Alex is about to remind us what was happening before the break, 676 00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:31,440 weren't you, Alex? Hello! 677 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,640 Hi, Greg. Thanks for that, and good evening to our viewers everywhere. 678 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,280 OK, so... 679 00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:38,560 We've been doing a lot of throwing. 680 00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:42,190 We've just got Noel and Mel left to go, and we're gonna start with Noel, 681 00:34:42,190 --> 00:34:44,400 impressively throwing something into something. 682 00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,120 D'you see that video? 683 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,200 I did see it. I mean, I thought he did throw something into something. 684 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,460 Yeah, he successfully threw a tennis ball into a caravan. 685 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:27,750 It's really hard to catch that on a tennis racket. 686 00:35:27,750 --> 00:35:28,220 Yeah. 687 00:35:28,220 --> 00:35:30,780 Then at the last minute... 688 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:33,640 - Such a shame. - Mm-hm. 689 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,920 Such a shame, but I enjoyed the ball going into the caravan. 690 00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,280 - Yeah, that's what you wanted, isn't it? - Yeah, yeah. It's enough for me. 691 00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,360 Right. Back to it. 692 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:45,800 You prepare the meat, don't you? 693 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:47,020 - Yeah. - Yeah. 694 00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:49,520 This stuff's going to Japan. 695 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:51,520 Yeah. 696 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,160 Well, there is one more to distract you. 697 00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:54,480 Do you want to see Mel Giedroyc? 698 00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:57,040 - Oh, yeah! - OK. Have a look at this. 699 00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:59,600 I used to love it on The A-Team... 700 00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,920 when there would be a moving vehicle, 701 00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:05,360 and people would run along... 702 00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:07,820 and jump into the vehicle. 703 00:36:10,720 --> 00:36:12,260 I'd say that's throwable. 704 00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:15,720 Where are you, Bernardo? 705 00:36:15,720 --> 00:36:17,220 Go, Alex! 706 00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:22,160 I can't see a bloody thing. 707 00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:23,460 Here we go, there's the car. 708 00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,200 Yeees. 709 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:30,840 Did we do it? 710 00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:31,940 Is he still in there? 711 00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:34,300 Come on. 712 00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:44,360 Did you see that woman throw half a man into a slow-moving car? 713 00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:46,920 Do you wanna judge them, then? 714 00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:48,760 OK, well, it's difficult to know what the worst is, 715 00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:50,960 but I think it was throwing M&Ms at you. 716 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:51,880 Skittles. 717 00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:53,360 Oh! Oh, God. 718 00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:56,660 Lolly's first. 719 00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:58,270 Yeees. 720 00:36:58,270 --> 00:36:59,260 Lolly's last. 721 00:36:59,260 --> 00:37:01,200 Er... 722 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,080 Nut Boy is a very close fourth. 723 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:04,800 OK, even though he got it into a small hole? 724 00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:06,440 Even though he got it into a small hole, 725 00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:08,100 it was fucking rubbish. 726 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,640 Er, obviously the bread maniac. 727 00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:15,720 The caravan, I liked the ambition, so I'm gonna put him in second. 728 00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:18,280 And the corpse into the moving car takes first place. 729 00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:19,380 OK, there we go. 730 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:21,840 What's the scoreboard like at the moment? 731 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:23,000 I'll show you the scoreboard if you want. 732 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,980 - Oooh! - Well, it's still... 733 00:37:24,980 --> 00:37:27,040 not anyone's game, but Hugh and Mel 734 00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:29,400 are vying for it at the top of the league table. Here we go. 735 00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,280 OK, it's time to stretch those legs. 736 00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:40,420 Please make your way up to the stage for the final task of the show! 737 00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:48,080 Hello. 738 00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:49,640 Hello, Greg! 739 00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:51,440 Would you please ask Hugh to read out the task? 740 00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:52,680 Hello, Hugh. 741 00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:53,440 Oh, hi. 742 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:54,840 Hello. 743 00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:55,940 You alright, Hugh? 744 00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:58,480 Thursday! 745 00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:03,360 Right, the task is... 746 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:08,260 "Make the longest continuous noise." 747 00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:13,920 "There will also be a bonus point for the best noise." 748 00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:14,720 Wow. 749 00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:18,000 If you four could all put on your earphones and eye masks. 750 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,480 The reason that you're blindfolded and having the headphones 751 00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:22,680 is so you can't copy other people's cool noises. 752 00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:25,240 - Ah, shall we put them on now? - Yep! 753 00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:26,680 What, so, long noise? 754 00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:28,400 - Long, continuous noise, yes. - OK. 755 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:29,880 If you could just stand in front of your chair. 756 00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:33,080 Continuous, and don't forget there's a bonus point for the best noise. 757 00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:41,760 He made me laugh! 758 00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,960 Not fair! You made me laugh! 759 00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:45,120 OK, Mel! 760 00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:48,440 I mean, there's still a good chance you're gonna get that extra bonus point, though. 761 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:50,680 Is my mascara a bit...? 762 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:52,000 - Yes, it is a bit. - OK, that's fine. 763 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:53,580 - It really is. - Alice Cooper. 764 00:38:53,580 --> 00:38:55,680 It really has messed it. Let's go. 765 00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:12,480 Ah! There was a slight pause. 766 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,360 There was a slight break in the death rattle. 767 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,520 There was a slight pause in the death rattle. 768 00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:18,920 Say what you want about Alex Horne, 769 00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,080 he's on pauses like a fucking puma. 770 00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:21,920 Thank you. 771 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:23,800 OK, so if you could just stand there, Lolly. Alright? 772 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:25,880 - God, that music is horrible. - It's terrible. 773 00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:27,240 It's by The Horne Section. 774 00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:31,320 OK, on the whistle. 775 00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:32,720 - Good luck, Lolly. - I have asthma. 776 00:39:32,720 --> 00:39:33,720 Me too. Ready? 777 00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:37,700 - Love the stance. - It's good. 778 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:08,280 If only you'd finished that with a full vomit onto the stage. 779 00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:11,780 Your turn! 780 00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:14,780 No reaction whatsoever to you kissing him. 781 00:40:14,780 --> 00:40:16,340 On the whistle, please, Joe. 782 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:52,360 Wow! 783 00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,120 Wow! 784 00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:55,220 Thirty-two. 785 00:40:56,240 --> 00:40:58,000 Your turn, Hugh. Your turn. 786 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,560 My feeling is Hugh's totally forgotten where he is. 787 00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:04,600 I don't even know whether this'll work. 788 00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:05,800 Right, OK, well... 789 00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,880 Are you sure you got the task right? 790 00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:12,600 On the whistle. 791 00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:22,480 It's all about the arms now. 792 00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:26,220 Whoa... 793 00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:29,400 Those muscles ain't so built up. 794 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:32,520 Keep going, mate. 795 00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:34,200 I like how it's pointing at you, Greg. 796 00:41:35,720 --> 00:41:36,960 So do I. 797 00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:38,960 - Go on, Desky. - Go on, Desk. 798 00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:40,380 You let it go, mate. 799 00:41:40,380 --> 00:41:42,000 Go on, Desky! 800 00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:47,160 He got arrogant! 801 00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,440 So, Greg, I will add this up in a minute. 802 00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:55,120 Do you wanna judge on the bonus point for best noise? 803 00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,120 Yeah. It'll come as no surprise to you, 804 00:41:57,120 --> 00:41:58,840 I'm giving it to old Windmill there. 805 00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:10,120 How are the scores? 806 00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:15,220 Well, Noel - and you did interfere - had four seconds. 807 00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:17,960 You made me laugh. 808 00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:19,440 I didn't mean to. 809 00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:21,440 Then we go up to Mel with 14, 810 00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:24,040 Lolly with 21, Hugh with 30, 811 00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:26,120 but Joe got 32 seconds! 812 00:42:29,220 --> 00:42:31,320 So what has that done to our final scores? 813 00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:33,840 Well, thanks to that bonus point, it means it's a tie. 814 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:35,800 Let's have a look. 815 00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:37,800 - Ooh, it's a tie. - Tie-break! 816 00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:40,040 - Ooh! - Mel and Hugh. 817 00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:41,280 What do we do in this situation? 818 00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,100 - We have a tie-break. - Tie-break! 819 00:42:43,100 --> 00:42:45,000 Yes, over the past few months, 820 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:48,480 our contestants took part in some tie-break challenges. 821 00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:52,240 And in this tie-break, we've asked them to speed-eat. 822 00:42:52,240 --> 00:42:53,360 - Ooh. - Here we go. 823 00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:55,280 "Eat as many peas as possible. You have one minute." 824 00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,020 "Your time starts now." 825 00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:04,660 I'm gonna funnel them. 826 00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:13,300 Mm. 827 00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:29,920 Well, you certainly looked like you got through some peas there. 828 00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:31,360 Oh, yeah. Definitely ate some peas, yeah. 829 00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:33,000 - I'm on tenterhooks. - Mm-hm. 830 00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:34,560 Well, there were 500 peas on the table. 831 00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:36,840 They both ate under 200 peas. 832 00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:40,320 Mel ate 174 peas in one minute. 833 00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:41,680 Almost three per second. 834 00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:46,200 And Hugh ate... 199 peas. 835 00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:49,660 He's done it! 836 00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:55,360 So the rightful winner of the cute prizes is none other than Hugh Dennis. 837 00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:58,040 Please go and reap your rubbish rewards! 838 00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:03,080 That was a good one, I think. 839 00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:05,520 Yes, and for the record, you would have been my cutest thing. 840 00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:08,320 - Why don't you shut your dirty mouth? - Yes, I will. I'm sorry. 841 00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:10,000 So, what have we learnt today? 842 00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,200 We've learnt that kids can't work together, 843 00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,200 and the planet is gonna go up in flames. 844 00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:15,820 We're all gonna burn. 845 00:44:15,820 --> 00:44:19,600 Please put your hands together for tonight's magnificent winner, 846 00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:21,460 Mr Hugh Dennis! 847 00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:23,740 Farewell!