1 00:00:33,060 --> 00:00:37,040 Thank you for the clapping. I'm Greg Davies and this is Taskmaster. 2 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:40,310 It's the semi-final, which means our five contestants are 3 00:00:40,310 --> 00:00:43,200 running out of time to win crucial Taskmaster points. 4 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:44,970 Points that could change their lives forever. 5 00:00:44,970 --> 00:00:48,220 Whoever wins this series is guaranteed immortality 6 00:00:48,220 --> 00:00:51,170 through the title of series champion of Taskmaster. 7 00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:55,260 So let's meet the people still clinging on to the hope of winning this... 8 00:00:55,260 --> 00:00:57,660 almighty cranium. 9 00:00:57,660 --> 00:01:01,750 With an average professional age of 41, 10 00:01:01,750 --> 00:01:04,150 our contenders are... 11 00:01:04,150 --> 00:01:05,900 Aisling Bea! 12 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:09,040 Bob Mortimer! 13 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:10,840 Mark Watson! 14 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,200 Nish Kumar! 15 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,910 And Sally Phillips! 16 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,730 And forever needlessly loitering, 17 00:01:20,730 --> 00:01:23,420 little Alex Horne! 18 00:01:23,420 --> 00:01:26,380 Thank you. Thank you. 19 00:01:27,330 --> 00:01:28,240 Thank you. 20 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:30,860 You are looking especially smug tonight. 21 00:01:30,860 --> 00:01:32,620 Thank you. It's a compliment. 22 00:01:32,620 --> 00:01:35,200 I am, I've had a good day. I've a big day. 23 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,930 I've made some home improvements to the place where you let me live. 24 00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:38,750 Yep. 25 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:43,200 And I've found out you can put a loo roll dispenser in any room. 26 00:01:44,110 --> 00:01:46,400 Any room. It doesn't have to be in the toilet. 27 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,200 So I've got one in the kitchen, I've got one in the car. 28 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,550 I've got one here. So I've just, um... 29 00:01:50,550 --> 00:01:52,330 - It's... I just feel very... - Oh, he has. 30 00:01:52,330 --> 00:01:54,000 What are you planning to use that for? 31 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,040 It's just in case, isn't it? 32 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,140 If, I mean... 33 00:01:58,220 --> 00:02:00,970 If you make mess here, I'm gonna clear it up with your beard. 34 00:02:03,750 --> 00:02:04,930 - What is... - Yes? 35 00:02:04,930 --> 00:02:06,220 the prize category this week? 36 00:02:06,220 --> 00:02:07,910 Great question. Well, it's a big one. 37 00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:08,910 Drum roll, please. 38 00:02:09,820 --> 00:02:12,770 Today we've asked them... 39 00:02:12,770 --> 00:02:17,220 Today we've asked them to bring in the most surprisingly expensive item. 40 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:18,710 - Surprisingly expensive. - Surprisingly. 41 00:02:18,710 --> 00:02:20,730 So it's up to you, Greg, as the Taskmaster, 42 00:02:20,730 --> 00:02:24,130 to decide who has brought in the most surprisingly expensive item. 43 00:02:24,130 --> 00:02:25,840 At the end of the show, the person with the most points 44 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:28,840 will get to take home all the surprisingly expensive items. 45 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,240 OK, so we'll find out how much they cost, 46 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,260 and then I'll look at your face to see how surprised you were. 47 00:02:33,260 --> 00:02:35,170 - That's the system. - That works, doesn't it? 48 00:02:35,170 --> 00:02:37,620 Who shall we start with? Drum roll, please. 49 00:02:44,770 --> 00:02:46,200 Aisling Bea! 50 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:49,320 Oh, I won. I can't believe I won! 51 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:55,170 There was this one occasion where I had to fly to Belfast 52 00:02:55,170 --> 00:02:57,240 at six o'clock in the morning, 53 00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:01,080 and I had 13 minutes before I had to get on the flight. 54 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:06,370 And I was so tired that I bought access for a 13-minute nap 55 00:03:06,370 --> 00:03:09,640 to the business lounge in Belfast Airport. 56 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:10,260 OK. 57 00:03:10,260 --> 00:03:14,680 So, for a minute to the pound, it was the most expensive thing I've ever bought. 58 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:16,220 We can see the voucher. 59 00:03:16,220 --> 00:03:18,510 How surprising the business lounge costs? 60 00:03:18,510 --> 00:03:20,340 Yeah, it's for the Causeway Lounge, 61 00:03:20,340 --> 00:03:22,440 complimentary access at Belfast Airport. 62 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:26,200 How much do you think complimentary access to the Causeway Lounge would cost? 63 00:03:27,150 --> 00:03:29,370 Well, all I can say is how much I would pay, 64 00:03:29,370 --> 00:03:32,370 and I would pay £40. 65 00:03:32,370 --> 00:03:34,170 Oh. Oh. 66 00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:35,860 It cost £25. 67 00:03:35,860 --> 00:03:37,570 Shall I do my facial reaction to that? 68 00:03:37,570 --> 00:03:38,700 OK, let's have a look. 69 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:42,880 - OK, do you want to move on to Nish? - Yes, please. 70 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:43,730 OK, Nish? 71 00:03:43,730 --> 00:03:46,970 I have brought in 100 Euros 72 00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:51,983 because it is surprisingly expensive now to buy 100 Euros. 73 00:03:51,983 --> 00:03:54,600 Well, let's see how surprising it is. 74 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:55,210 OK. 75 00:03:55,210 --> 00:03:57,200 - I travel to Spain regularly... - Yes, you do. 76 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,400 and I would have guessed, late 80s? I would have said it was worth... 77 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:01,710 No, it's 91. 78 00:04:01,710 --> 00:04:03,220 - I would have said 88. - Yeah, it's 91. 79 00:04:03,220 --> 00:04:05,000 - So I'll give you my surprised face. - OK. 80 00:04:06,020 --> 00:04:07,350 Oh. 81 00:04:07,350 --> 00:04:08,350 Who's next? 82 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:10,450 - What about Bob? - Bob. 83 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:11,040 Bob? 84 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:14,740 Hi, I've brought in my World Cup 2014... 85 00:04:15,770 --> 00:04:17,570 football player sticker book. 86 00:04:17,570 --> 00:04:19,660 - Let's have a look at it. - Yes, there it is. 87 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,550 Very nice. 88 00:04:21,550 --> 00:04:24,640 It would cost an average of £374 to fill the whole thing. 89 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,820 Like if you get lucky, £68 is the minimum you can spend, 90 00:04:27,820 --> 00:04:29,510 but the average person spends nearly 400 quid. 91 00:04:29,510 --> 00:04:32,710 I'm gonna say that that is worth... 92 00:04:33,420 --> 00:04:34,730 twenty English pounds. 93 00:04:34,730 --> 00:04:36,840 We've had it valued at ten English pounds. 94 00:04:38,750 --> 00:04:39,620 Who's next? 95 00:04:39,620 --> 00:04:41,170 Sally Phillips. 96 00:04:41,170 --> 00:04:43,710 I've brought you a human turd. 97 00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:48,110 OK, let's just go straight to the face, shall we? 98 00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:52,750 I've brought you one of Bob Mortimer's turds. 99 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:53,860 - Wow. - Yeah. 100 00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:55,950 This is gonna take some unravelling, isn't it? 101 00:04:56,660 --> 00:04:59,530 It's going to be professionally dried out 102 00:04:59,530 --> 00:05:02,420 and placed within a resin sphere. 103 00:05:02,420 --> 00:05:06,460 And be just like one of the exhibits in the National Poo Museum on the Isle of Wight. 104 00:05:06,460 --> 00:05:07,800 That's all correct. 105 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,310 So I've brought an example... 106 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,400 This is what it will look like. 107 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,460 This is a fox one, which most closely resembles a human one. 108 00:05:15,260 --> 00:05:17,240 Oh dear. 109 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,840 How much do you think the whole process of freeze-drying it 110 00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:21,510 and then turning it into a resin ball would cost? 111 00:05:21,510 --> 00:05:23,710 £199. 112 00:05:23,710 --> 00:05:24,860 Get ready for my reaction. 113 00:05:24,860 --> 00:05:27,620 Here it says the process would cost him £800. 114 00:05:30,350 --> 00:05:32,150 £800 to do a fox poo. 115 00:05:32,150 --> 00:05:33,370 But this is a Mortimer poo. 116 00:05:33,370 --> 00:05:37,000 His conservative estimate, the value of Bob's poo, 117 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,860 er, yeah, is between 10 and 15 k. 118 00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:46,190 - We'll milk me! - I see. 119 00:05:46,190 --> 00:05:48,040 Can I have one too? 120 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:51,040 - No, that's the last I'm giving away. - He's a gold machine! 121 00:05:52,170 --> 00:05:53,400 Who's left? Mark? 122 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,930 Mine's a gate where my kids... 123 00:05:55,930 --> 00:05:57,200 - A what, sorry? - A gate. 124 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,770 - A gate? - A garden gate, yes. 125 00:05:58,770 --> 00:06:02,110 My kids like to the play in the garden and it adjoins 126 00:06:02,110 --> 00:06:04,280 one of those sort of communal gardens that you get. 127 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,220 - We can see it. - We've got an image of it, I think. 128 00:06:06,220 --> 00:06:07,260 So it's that. 129 00:06:07,260 --> 00:06:11,620 Right, let's not mess around. £88 for the gate. Labour, £75. 130 00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:13,400 I've written down here £18,000. 131 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:14,510 Yes, um... 132 00:06:14,510 --> 00:06:16,090 - What? - What?! 133 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:20,240 He looks like he's gonna throw up! 134 00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:32,130 The communal garden is jointly sort of owned by a residents' association, 135 00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:34,750 so it turns out, if you want a gate that goes onto it, 136 00:06:34,750 --> 00:06:39,710 you have to pay a three-year fee to join that residents' association. 137 00:06:39,710 --> 00:06:42,388 This is like madness, Mark. 138 00:06:42,388 --> 00:06:44,710 So when we win this prize, do we win access to the 139 00:06:44,710 --> 00:06:46,710 - garden as well? - The funny thing is, yes you do. 140 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:49,800 What is your decision? 141 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,350 This is my decision. 142 00:06:51,350 --> 00:06:54,370 I've got a television, so I know how much the Euro's worth, Nish. 143 00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:59,750 Congratulations, you take your special, traditional role as coming last. 144 00:07:00,860 --> 00:07:04,730 Aisling and Bob, I was quite surprised by the actual final prices. 145 00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:07,770 I didn't realise how much they'd spent per minute napping or per sticker. 146 00:07:07,770 --> 00:07:11,510 I might, if it's alright, I might put them joint next, 147 00:07:11,510 --> 00:07:14,710 and I can't believe it, I don't know why I'm putting 148 00:07:14,710 --> 00:07:17,550 Bob Mortimer's turd in second place, but I am. 149 00:07:17,550 --> 00:07:19,680 I'm gonna put it in second place 'cause I've just 150 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:23,280 seen the hurt in Mark "£18,000 Gate" Watson's eyes. 151 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:24,570 Oh, I need this. I need this. 152 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:27,350 So I have to give him to it. Mark Watson wins this round. 153 00:07:27,350 --> 00:07:30,710 OK, and we're off. Five points. 154 00:07:30,710 --> 00:07:32,370 Right, we're rolling! What's first? 155 00:07:32,370 --> 00:07:35,120 It's this task, precisely, here. 156 00:07:46,910 --> 00:07:48,240 Hello, Bob. 157 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:49,660 Hello, Alex. 158 00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:50,530 Hello, Aisling. 159 00:07:50,530 --> 00:07:52,630 Why have you brought me to this bloody shithole? 160 00:07:54,770 --> 00:07:56,400 Please can I put a blindfold on you? 161 00:07:58,860 --> 00:08:00,370 I can't see a thing now, unfortunately. 162 00:08:00,370 --> 00:08:01,550 How many fingers am I holding up, Mark? 163 00:08:01,550 --> 00:08:04,200 Ah, that's a good example. I can't see that, for example. 164 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:04,970 Ten? 165 00:08:04,970 --> 00:08:05,600 Great. 166 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,025 It was just one. 167 00:08:07,025 --> 00:08:09,480 Well, it is just one, so now I don't know what to do. 168 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,080 Alright, we're gonna go for a little walk. 169 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:12,510 OK. 170 00:08:12,510 --> 00:08:15,230 - I'm gonna hold your hand, is that alright? - I'd love that. Thanks. 171 00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:18,900 Just a little jump here. With me, one, two three... 172 00:08:18,900 --> 00:08:20,840 That's it, and a really big jump now. 173 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:21,460 Yeah. 174 00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:22,770 Go. 175 00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:24,360 That's better. 176 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:25,730 Bit higher. 177 00:08:25,730 --> 00:08:26,480 That's it. 178 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:27,580 Some bread. 179 00:08:28,510 --> 00:08:30,000 Are you gonna ask me to feed the ducks? 180 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,310 "Wearing that blindfold at all times..." 181 00:08:32,310 --> 00:08:33,150 Yes? 182 00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:36,260 "travel as far as possible in three minutes." 183 00:08:36,260 --> 00:08:38,860 "Alex will be at your side at all times 184 00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:42,110 because he is a strong, independent, handsome man." 185 00:08:42,110 --> 00:08:45,480 Right, OK. I feel like that... You've thrown that in. 186 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:46,020 Thank you. 187 00:08:46,020 --> 00:08:49,460 "On removing the blindfold, you will then have another three minutes 188 00:08:49,460 --> 00:08:53,440 to retrace your steps to your starting position." 189 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,260 - That's here. - Oh, right. 190 00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:59,130 "Longest successful retracing of steps wins." 191 00:08:59,130 --> 00:09:01,640 Erm, do I have to keep my feet on the ground? 192 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,860 Yes, she had a tactic. Some of them did, some of them didn't. 193 00:09:08,860 --> 00:09:09,480 Yep. 194 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:10,480 The idea... 195 00:09:11,820 --> 00:09:14,710 was pretty good. They had three minutes to get as far as they could. 196 00:09:14,710 --> 00:09:17,240 But they had to get back to exactly the same spot where they started. 197 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,140 So you could just take one step in the three minutes. 198 00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:19,730 Oh. 199 00:09:19,730 --> 00:09:20,770 And you'd get back to where you were, 200 00:09:20,770 --> 00:09:24,030 - but that's not a very long distance. - It's not a very long distance, no. 201 00:09:26,420 --> 00:09:27,550 OK? 202 00:09:27,550 --> 00:09:31,880 Which of our highly intelligent gang are we gonna see first? 203 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:33,510 Well, we're gonna save Sally for a bit. 204 00:09:35,060 --> 00:09:36,330 We're gonna start with Bob. 205 00:09:36,330 --> 00:09:37,700 Are you ready? 206 00:09:39,710 --> 00:09:40,570 Good. 207 00:09:40,570 --> 00:09:42,530 Your time... 208 00:09:42,530 --> 00:09:44,930 Your time starts... 209 00:09:44,930 --> 00:09:47,480 Well, I'm gonna put a piece of bread. 210 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,135 I'm gonna take what I think is the bottom of it off. 211 00:09:50,135 --> 00:09:52,180 Quite like the idea of having this... 212 00:09:53,570 --> 00:09:54,670 shape. 213 00:09:55,820 --> 00:09:56,860 One... 214 00:09:56,860 --> 00:09:58,740 No, I'll take four... 215 00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:02,240 Drops a bit of bread. 216 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,800 I'm doing it very traditionally here, I suppose, but... 217 00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:07,570 I can't think of any other way. 218 00:10:16,370 --> 00:10:17,825 I'm gonna remain here. 219 00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:19,860 - You've got 30 seconds. - Oh, fucking... 220 00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:21,900 I didn't come through there! 221 00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:23,750 You've got three minutes to retrace your steps. 222 00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:24,440 Thank you. 223 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:25,540 Your time starts now, Bob. 224 00:10:28,180 --> 00:10:29,200 Oh, fuck. 225 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,050 I could never have got through there. 226 00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:36,180 One, two, three, four, five. 227 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:39,520 One, two, three, four, five. 228 00:10:42,970 --> 00:10:44,570 Have you retraced your steps, Bob? 229 00:10:44,570 --> 00:10:45,670 I have. 230 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,370 And that is where I wish to be buried! 231 00:10:52,370 --> 00:10:54,850 There you are, that comes with age and experience. 232 00:11:00,130 --> 00:11:03,365 That, I believe, is the traditional cry of the Middlesbrough peat man. 233 00:11:03,365 --> 00:11:04,850 Bury me! 234 00:11:05,570 --> 00:11:07,970 It was like a little adventure, that. It was great. 235 00:11:07,970 --> 00:11:10,550 Yeah, you did very well. You travelled 54 metres 236 00:11:10,550 --> 00:11:13,170 and got back to pretty much exactly the right spot. 237 00:11:13,170 --> 00:11:14,460 You could do what you wanted with the bread, 238 00:11:14,460 --> 00:11:16,040 but you left a trail and that seemed to work. 239 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:17,730 Yeah, who wouldn't leave a trail? 240 00:11:17,730 --> 00:11:19,880 Oh, I imagine most of them... 241 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,130 Let's stop there for now. 242 00:11:21,130 --> 00:11:23,910 You have three minutes to do something valuable with your life. 243 00:11:23,910 --> 00:11:25,230 Goodbye for now. 244 00:11:36,310 --> 00:11:38,200 Hello, and, um... 245 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,300 Welcome back. 246 00:11:42,130 --> 00:11:46,360 It's part two and Alex is just desperate to fill us in on the latest. 247 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:47,260 Thank you, Greg. 248 00:11:47,260 --> 00:11:50,660 So, the current task involves getting as far as you can whilst blindfolded, 249 00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:52,130 and then retracing your steps. 250 00:11:52,130 --> 00:11:54,185 Bob made it look easy. 251 00:11:54,185 --> 00:11:56,150 Shall we see Mark and Aisling next? 252 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:57,730 - Yes, let's. - OK. 253 00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:01,260 I think the only way to do this, really, 254 00:12:01,260 --> 00:12:04,440 is to walk in what I believe to be a completely straight line. 255 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,530 But already, that's not very nice, is it? 256 00:12:06,530 --> 00:12:08,750 OK, Alex. How's your back? 257 00:12:08,750 --> 00:12:09,530 Here we go. 258 00:12:09,530 --> 00:12:11,020 OK. 259 00:12:11,020 --> 00:12:13,310 Go straight that way. 260 00:12:13,310 --> 00:12:14,150 OK. 261 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:17,940 What's the slice of bread for? Is that just one of those things? 262 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:22,060 Ah, breadcrumbs. I could leave a trail of breadcrumbs. 263 00:12:22,060 --> 00:12:23,310 Put me down for a second. 264 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,120 I've just realised the point of the toast. 265 00:12:28,420 --> 00:12:31,320 I should've put the toast down where I started. 266 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,350 You've got one minute and ten seconds to go. 267 00:12:33,350 --> 00:12:36,470 Right, in that case, time to be more liberal with the bread. 268 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,410 Ow! Ow, ow! 269 00:12:41,420 --> 00:12:42,830 Put bread. 270 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:45,215 Just be aware, now, I would. 271 00:12:45,215 --> 00:12:46,710 Yes, I see what you mean. 272 00:12:46,710 --> 00:12:48,710 Well, I don't see anything at all. 273 00:12:49,550 --> 00:12:51,770 That was so tiring. 274 00:12:51,770 --> 00:12:52,770 Was it? 275 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,820 Thank God I have these handy little crumbs to keep me... 276 00:12:56,820 --> 00:12:58,875 So when I blow the whistle, you've got three minutes... 277 00:12:58,875 --> 00:13:01,280 to work out where we started from. 278 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,000 Now, where's the bread? 279 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,100 Where's the bread? 280 00:13:05,970 --> 00:13:08,595 Alright, dog? 281 00:13:08,595 --> 00:13:13,670 I found this old Quavers bag full of water. 282 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:15,900 We must be close. 283 00:13:17,220 --> 00:13:19,260 Is that where you think you started? 284 00:13:19,260 --> 00:13:21,150 Well, roughly. 285 00:13:21,150 --> 00:13:22,200 Why roughly? 286 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,680 Because the blindfold made it very hard to know, in all fairness. 287 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,285 - This is where we started, is it? - Yep. 288 00:13:27,285 --> 00:13:28,400 Thank you, Aisling. 289 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,280 - Thank you, Alex. - Goodbye. 290 00:13:35,730 --> 00:13:38,310 I love to see Alex physically punished. 291 00:13:38,310 --> 00:13:39,040 Of course. 292 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:40,860 So that was a big tick in your favour, 293 00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:43,310 but the bread realisation came late. 294 00:13:43,310 --> 00:13:45,750 Yes, and I did actually have a little munch at the start, as well, 295 00:13:45,750 --> 00:13:47,770 just to have enough energy for the task. 296 00:13:47,770 --> 00:13:49,750 So I didn't have much toast left. 297 00:13:49,750 --> 00:13:51,710 It was the furthest I've ever carried an adult. 298 00:13:51,710 --> 00:13:53,350 My previous record was 120 metres. 299 00:13:53,350 --> 00:13:55,770 I had to take an aunt across a car park at a wedding. 300 00:13:56,930 --> 00:13:58,800 We can see on the map how far I carried Aisling. 301 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,860 OK, she travelled 200 metres. 302 00:14:01,860 --> 00:14:03,480 That's where she started, down there, 303 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,750 and then she sort of staggered back that direction, 304 00:14:06,750 --> 00:14:07,820 but didn't quite get far enough. 305 00:14:07,820 --> 00:14:10,640 So she ended up only 64 metres away from the starting point. 306 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,840 - Oh, but in the right direction. - In the right direction. 307 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:15,060 Which, in life, is not bad. 308 00:14:15,060 --> 00:14:17,080 - And we can compare that to Mark. - Not bad at all. 309 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:19,970 Mark walked 70 metres south-west. 310 00:14:19,970 --> 00:14:20,970 He then should've gone north-east, 311 00:14:20,970 --> 00:14:22,260 but he carried on going south. 312 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:28,200 So he ended up 140 metres away from the start. 313 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,310 As you saw, I couldn't find any of the bread, 314 00:14:30,310 --> 00:14:32,190 but it makes sense. It's 'cause it wasn't there. 315 00:14:32,950 --> 00:14:36,060 It wasn't there because, and this is incredible, Mark, 316 00:14:36,060 --> 00:14:39,000 and absolutely indicative of your luck on this show, 317 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,510 your bread was eaten by a dog. 318 00:14:43,570 --> 00:14:44,310 Who's next? 319 00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:48,130 Next are two of our most intelligent individuals, 320 00:14:48,130 --> 00:14:50,155 Sally and Nish. 321 00:14:52,510 --> 00:14:54,500 Oh, God. I wish I was confident enough to run. 322 00:14:55,510 --> 00:14:56,510 Oh, you're running. 323 00:15:01,970 --> 00:15:03,500 There was a ditch there, Nish. 324 00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:07,516 Yeah, a bit rougher ground here. 325 00:15:08,770 --> 00:15:09,970 Forty. I'm counting my steps. 326 00:15:09,970 --> 00:15:11,840 41, 42, 43... 327 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,455 - 61, 62, 63, 64... - I have to warn you-- Stop! 328 00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,820 Sixty-seven and then turn to the right. 329 00:15:16,820 --> 00:15:19,550 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven... 330 00:15:23,930 --> 00:15:25,500 Is this bread for any purpose? 331 00:15:26,330 --> 00:15:27,710 Bit bumpy here. 332 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,350 Ten more seconds. Be careful. 333 00:15:31,350 --> 00:15:32,600 Ow, ow, ow, ow! 334 00:15:35,460 --> 00:15:38,820 OK, you've got three minutes to get back to your starting position. 335 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:46,685 Oh. 336 00:15:46,685 --> 00:15:48,440 I've literally no... 337 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,280 I think I got to here and stopped. 338 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:51,860 Yes, this where you stopped. Yes. 339 00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:06,650 I think it's over... 340 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:10,140 Did, like...? 341 00:16:14,660 --> 00:16:16,250 You've got one minute left, Nish. 342 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,800 OK, I think I didn't go that far. 343 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:26,900 I think it was... 344 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:28,780 Hmm. 345 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,470 You've got ten more seconds, Sally. 346 00:16:39,510 --> 00:16:41,040 Why did I not use the bread? 347 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:46,450 Well, I just want to start by asking you both a very specific question. 348 00:16:46,450 --> 00:16:48,950 So what did you think the bread was for? 349 00:16:48,950 --> 00:16:51,240 Holding, Gregory. 350 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,110 Sally? 351 00:16:52,110 --> 00:16:54,680 Right at the end, I went, 352 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,860 "Shit, I should have used this as a compass!" 353 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:02,570 I think the thing that startled me about you, Nish, 354 00:17:02,570 --> 00:17:06,655 is if you've got a pet dog at home and you blow in its face, 355 00:17:06,655 --> 00:17:09,020 it absolutely baffles the dog, 356 00:17:09,020 --> 00:17:10,710 absolutely confuses it, 357 00:17:10,710 --> 00:17:14,370 and that was Nish's face throughout this entire task. 358 00:17:14,370 --> 00:17:16,220 The bread seemed to weigh you down, 'cause when you walked, 359 00:17:16,220 --> 00:17:17,950 you just went in a circle. 360 00:17:17,950 --> 00:17:20,980 You took 300 paces, but travelled 15 metres. 361 00:17:21,770 --> 00:17:23,600 - Do you wanna see some stats? - Yeah. 362 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:27,260 Sally travelled 220 metres and then headed back in the right direction. 363 00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:29,910 She ended up just 74 metres away. 364 00:17:29,910 --> 00:17:31,460 - What?! - So, not too bad. 365 00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:32,950 - She ran all over. - Oh, my God. 366 00:17:32,950 --> 00:17:34,910 - But more by luck than judgment. - That's really good. 367 00:17:34,910 --> 00:17:35,910 Yeah. 368 00:17:37,930 --> 00:17:40,570 Nish ended up just 15 metres from the starting point, 369 00:17:40,570 --> 00:17:43,770 and then walked 180 metres 370 00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:45,110 in the wrong direction. 371 00:17:45,110 --> 00:17:48,600 Ended up 195 metres away. 372 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,930 But it's one point to Nish, two to Mark, 373 00:17:49,930 --> 00:17:52,211 three to Sally, four to Aisling, and five to Bob Mortimer. 374 00:17:56,820 --> 00:17:59,770 Let's take our first look at the score- board at this juncture, Alex. 375 00:17:59,770 --> 00:18:01,680 OK, there's a three-way tie for second place, 376 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,370 and Bob is one point ahead of them. There we go. 377 00:18:09,110 --> 00:18:10,510 Alex Horne, what's next? 378 00:18:10,510 --> 00:18:12,930 OK, we're going to have our equivalent, 379 00:18:12,930 --> 00:18:15,760 the Taskmaster equivalent of the Winter Olympics. 380 00:18:27,510 --> 00:18:28,995 Oh, shit. 381 00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:32,315 Uh-oh! 382 00:18:32,315 --> 00:18:35,550 I already know I'm going to be brilliant at this! 383 00:18:35,550 --> 00:18:38,565 Well, I dunno, really. I don't know about this already. 384 00:18:38,565 --> 00:18:40,420 This looks scary. 385 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:41,570 Hello, Bob. 386 00:18:41,570 --> 00:18:42,670 Hi there. 387 00:18:44,970 --> 00:18:48,400 "Muster the biggest coconut bobsleigh team." 388 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:52,310 "Most coconut bobsleigh team members still on board..." 389 00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:55,560 "when their bobsleigh comes to a halt wins." 390 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:59,640 "You may only use items in the caravan to secure your coconuts." 391 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:01,600 "You will be disqualified--" That's interesting. 392 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:05,060 "You will be disqualified if you use any item used by another contestant." 393 00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:07,910 Impossible to know what they've used, though, of course. 394 00:19:07,910 --> 00:19:11,060 "You have 20 minutes and one attempt." 395 00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:13,150 "Your time starts now." 396 00:19:13,150 --> 00:19:14,440 To the caravan! 397 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,700 It is amazing how some games on this show 398 00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:25,910 can just give us a brief window into the souls of the competitors. 399 00:19:25,910 --> 00:19:28,000 I've written down everything that they said. 400 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,220 Bob said nothing, he just got on with it. 401 00:19:30,220 --> 00:19:33,570 Aisling said, "I already know I'm going to be brilliant at this!" 402 00:19:33,570 --> 00:19:35,060 which is incredible. 403 00:19:35,060 --> 00:19:37,600 Mark said, "Oh, I don't know about this." 404 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,530 Sally said, "This looks scary." 405 00:19:39,530 --> 00:19:41,530 And Nish went, "Oh, shit!" 406 00:19:43,020 --> 00:19:44,460 Who are we gonna see first? 407 00:19:44,460 --> 00:19:45,750 We're gonna have a look, first of all, 408 00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:48,200 just to see how to do it, Mark Watson. 409 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,300 Oh dear. 410 00:19:52,950 --> 00:19:55,730 By coincidence, there's a coconut harness in here. 411 00:19:55,730 --> 00:19:59,840 If you deployed this correctly, you could put quite a lot of coconuts in it 412 00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,950 and tape it to the skateboard. 413 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:03,680 This is like a prisoner's dilemma or something. 414 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,640 We might think everyone's gonna do it and then no one does it. 415 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,480 Right, let's think about this. Still plenty of time. 416 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:09,580 Er... 417 00:20:10,550 --> 00:20:12,050 There's an apron here, I don't... 418 00:20:12,930 --> 00:20:14,030 Ah, Blu Tack! 419 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,400 I've found some blue tape. 420 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,800 It is basically about going completely virgin 421 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,130 and just shoving all the coconuts on and hoping for the best, 422 00:20:21,130 --> 00:20:22,700 which is not the worst way of doing it. 423 00:20:27,220 --> 00:20:29,150 Oh, there we go. Now that's what we don't... 424 00:20:29,150 --> 00:20:30,600 That's what we don't want to happen. 425 00:20:42,350 --> 00:20:44,840 I mean, that's more than you'd have in a real bobsleigh team, I think. 426 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:46,360 Oh, this is heavy. 427 00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:49,210 It mustn't upturn. If it upturns, we do have a problem. 428 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,970 And stay on, stay on, stay on, stay on! 429 00:20:54,970 --> 00:20:55,970 Stay on! 430 00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,400 Pfft, I'll take it. I'll take it. 431 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:01,800 Well done, boys. 432 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,550 If anyone gets disqualified, then I've beaten them. 433 00:21:05,550 --> 00:21:07,040 Well, thank you, Mark. 434 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:08,740 Well, thank you for the opportunity. 435 00:21:08,740 --> 00:21:10,000 Bye-bye. 436 00:21:13,330 --> 00:21:16,600 Pretty powerful motivational shit you were shouting there. 437 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,060 I had the idea that more of them would stay on if I yelled at them. 438 00:21:19,060 --> 00:21:20,820 We'll never know, 'cause we didn't do a trial experiment. 439 00:21:20,820 --> 00:21:22,330 Just "stay on", as well. Stay on, stay on 440 00:21:22,330 --> 00:21:25,220 Stay on, stay on. Sometimes I say it to myself when I'm just trying to... 441 00:21:26,330 --> 00:21:28,020 I should say, it didn't have to cross the finishing line, 442 00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,570 it's when the skateboard came to a halt. 443 00:21:29,570 --> 00:21:30,130 Yeah. 444 00:21:30,130 --> 00:21:32,240 Nevertheless, yeah, he put 19 on. 445 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:33,710 The harness would have held 18. 446 00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:34,150 Yeah. 447 00:21:34,150 --> 00:21:36,200 - Two stayed on. - I admit it is not a great score. 448 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,730 - But I... - We'll see. 449 00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:38,950 It's a score, though. 450 00:21:38,950 --> 00:21:42,220 Any score. I'm hoping that maybe someone didn't do that. 451 00:21:42,220 --> 00:21:43,130 Beep! 452 00:21:43,130 --> 00:21:45,400 Yes, that's the end of part two. 453 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:46,500 Bye! 454 00:22:05,150 --> 00:22:06,170 Part three, Alex? 455 00:22:07,620 --> 00:22:08,680 Thank you, Greg. That's right. 456 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,110 Hello, my name is Alex Horne. 457 00:22:10,110 --> 00:22:11,660 I'm gonna be 40 next year. 458 00:22:13,510 --> 00:22:15,910 The brave contestants are trying to send as many coconuts 459 00:22:15,910 --> 00:22:17,950 down a ramp, on a skateboard, as possible. 460 00:22:17,950 --> 00:22:21,680 To have the most coconuts on the board once it's come to a stop. 461 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,840 But if they use the same caravan-based items to secure their coconuts 462 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:26,910 as anyone else, they're gonna be disqualified. 463 00:22:26,910 --> 00:22:28,700 We're gonna see Nish and Aisling now. 464 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,820 Whoa. 465 00:22:32,820 --> 00:22:34,330 Can I put the coconuts in this thing? 466 00:22:34,330 --> 00:22:34,970 What is that? 467 00:22:34,970 --> 00:22:36,150 It's a coconut harness. 468 00:22:36,150 --> 00:22:37,260 I suppose so. 469 00:22:37,260 --> 00:22:39,510 How do I know if other people have used it already? 470 00:22:39,510 --> 00:22:41,080 Do you think they might use the coconut harness? 471 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,330 Yeah, I think they're probably gonna use the coconut harness. 472 00:22:43,330 --> 00:22:45,110 I'm definitely gonna use... 473 00:22:45,110 --> 00:22:48,495 some of this fire hydrant stuff. 474 00:22:48,495 --> 00:22:50,620 That'll be sticky, won't it, Alex? 475 00:22:51,820 --> 00:22:53,970 But what if someone has used this? 476 00:22:53,970 --> 00:22:55,850 Oh, God! 477 00:22:55,850 --> 00:22:57,880 This game is so hard! 478 00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:02,020 So I'm creating a larger surface area, Alex, 479 00:23:02,020 --> 00:23:03,270 to put the coconuts on. 480 00:23:04,930 --> 00:23:06,970 I assume that's fine, Alex? 481 00:23:06,970 --> 00:23:08,460 As long as no one else uses it. 482 00:23:08,460 --> 00:23:09,930 God, I hate this game! 483 00:23:15,420 --> 00:23:18,440 I just wanna make, like, a sort of barrier... 484 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,680 so the coconuts don't fall off. 485 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:21,960 So it's a banana barrier. 486 00:23:23,370 --> 00:23:24,470 Doesn't quite fit. 487 00:23:25,310 --> 00:23:26,480 How's this work, then? 488 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,120 "Pull off the ring." 489 00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:30,970 "Use upright, aim at base of fire." 490 00:23:30,970 --> 00:23:32,070 See how that works. 491 00:23:33,310 --> 00:23:35,000 I think-- 492 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:38,020 Quick, get it on the thing! Don't waste it on that! 493 00:23:40,510 --> 00:23:42,880 Ah, Alex, you've ruined it. 494 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,650 Oh, God! It's so heavy! 495 00:23:47,910 --> 00:23:49,200 It is bloody heavy. 496 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,240 Oh, God. Oh, it's gonna... not gonna work. 497 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:53,340 Argh! 498 00:23:54,370 --> 00:23:57,200 We have the classic underdog. 499 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,300 Sometimes, in life... 500 00:24:00,770 --> 00:24:02,080 you have to dare to dream! 501 00:24:09,350 --> 00:24:13,110 For Ireland... is the greatest bobsleigh country... 502 00:24:13,110 --> 00:24:16,950 in the wo-o-o-o-orld! 503 00:24:17,750 --> 00:24:19,150 Come on, lads! 504 00:24:19,150 --> 00:24:20,250 Keep going! 505 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:23,570 Ireland's the greatest country... 506 00:24:23,570 --> 00:24:26,695 in the wooorld. 507 00:24:26,695 --> 00:24:28,930 ooorld. 508 00:24:28,930 --> 00:24:30,570 Yeeaah! 509 00:24:38,260 --> 00:24:39,750 Well, she said she would be good at it, 510 00:24:39,750 --> 00:24:41,970 and I thought Aisling absolutely smashed that. 511 00:24:41,970 --> 00:24:43,060 Yeah. 512 00:24:43,060 --> 00:24:44,820 Thanks, Greg. Compliment. 513 00:24:44,820 --> 00:24:49,200 I think that is the first ever use of the banana barrier. 514 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,880 I think you may own the banana barrier. 515 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,240 It also is biodegradable, edible. 516 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:56,800 After you've finished using it for anything, 517 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:58,880 you just go back and go... 518 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,330 Eat it. 519 00:25:00,330 --> 00:25:01,370 You do. 520 00:25:01,370 --> 00:25:02,420 - Nish. - Nish. 521 00:25:02,420 --> 00:25:03,260 Yes, hello. 522 00:25:03,260 --> 00:25:05,840 What a great achievement I had, as well. 523 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:06,330 Yeah. 524 00:25:06,330 --> 00:25:08,660 It started off brilliantly. It looked like you were gonna get the whole team down. 525 00:25:08,660 --> 00:25:12,130 It wasn't bad, either. He put 35 in. No one so far has used the same item. 526 00:25:12,130 --> 00:25:14,060 Thirteen stayed on. Unlucky 13. 527 00:25:14,060 --> 00:25:14,570 Yeah. 528 00:25:14,570 --> 00:25:16,260 Thirteen alive? 529 00:25:16,260 --> 00:25:17,660 Thirteen alive. Unlucky number. 530 00:25:17,660 --> 00:25:19,080 And how many, sorry, did Aisling get? 531 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:20,080 Fourteen. 532 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,185 Oooh, suspense, Nishi. 533 00:25:23,185 --> 00:25:26,710 You should have held your boys in with fruit. 534 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,280 - Not the first time that's been said to me. - Gotta use the banana barrier, guys. 535 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:31,550 Who are we gonna see now, Alex? 536 00:25:31,550 --> 00:25:33,640 Bob and Sally now. 537 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:34,840 Woo! 538 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,540 - Only one attempt? - Yeah. 539 00:25:37,730 --> 00:25:39,770 So I can't test this on there. 540 00:25:39,770 --> 00:25:43,710 You can test, but when you're actually doing your attempt, that will be the one. 541 00:25:43,710 --> 00:25:45,750 OK, I might just... I might just... 542 00:25:45,750 --> 00:25:46,850 I might just... 543 00:26:01,110 --> 00:26:02,700 Gonna have a look in the caravan. 544 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,310 Well, I have a plan, people. I have a plan. 545 00:26:10,350 --> 00:26:13,820 Coconut harness. Yeah, it's so tempting. 546 00:26:13,820 --> 00:26:16,730 "If I use that, I'm disqualified." Everyone will think that. 547 00:26:16,730 --> 00:26:18,480 So should I just use it? 548 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,110 And we can all move on, you know? 549 00:26:21,110 --> 00:26:24,240 Oh, I don't know whether I should just do this one and not try to be clever. 550 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,540 OK... I've got a plan. 551 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:32,280 Have you taken down my curtain? 552 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:33,380 Yeah. 553 00:26:37,750 --> 00:26:40,660 Now I'm thinking everyone's gonna use the curtain. 554 00:26:45,110 --> 00:26:46,510 So they're going in the curtain. 555 00:26:46,510 --> 00:26:48,100 Yeah. I mean, yeah. 556 00:26:49,530 --> 00:26:51,110 Ooh, they are heavy. 557 00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:52,540 Shit! 558 00:26:54,570 --> 00:26:57,030 Oh, we've lost two! 559 00:26:59,020 --> 00:27:00,470 - Good luck, Bob. - Thank you. 560 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,700 It's not me being shithouse. I can't get any... 561 00:27:23,930 --> 00:27:25,635 That's my attempt. 562 00:27:25,635 --> 00:27:27,010 Thanks, Bob. 563 00:27:28,020 --> 00:27:30,640 I see myself coming down that ramp 564 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:34,660 with all the coconuts in a beige velour curtain bag 565 00:27:34,660 --> 00:27:37,080 like some kind of sick Santa. 566 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,280 - Uh-oh. - Oh, no! 567 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:40,280 Right. 568 00:27:45,060 --> 00:27:46,510 Yes. OK. 569 00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:52,210 Right, now... 570 00:27:53,420 --> 00:27:55,700 Just need to... Here we go... 571 00:28:03,510 --> 00:28:06,170 Ye-e-e-e-es! 572 00:28:08,950 --> 00:28:12,220 I mean, that has got to stick in your craw, hasn't it? 573 00:28:12,220 --> 00:28:12,770 Soz. 574 00:28:12,770 --> 00:28:14,370 - Honestly, I'm just thrilled... - Sorry. 575 00:28:14,370 --> 00:28:16,580 that my mind works, sometimes, 576 00:28:16,580 --> 00:28:19,680 in the same way as the venerable Bob Mortimer. 577 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,170 Hey, Greg, but would you have allowed it? 578 00:28:22,170 --> 00:28:23,600 Would I have allowed yours? 579 00:28:24,350 --> 00:28:25,730 Either of them. 580 00:28:25,730 --> 00:28:26,930 I would have allowed Sally's. 581 00:28:26,930 --> 00:28:28,880 The coconuts were on the skateboard. 582 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:30,680 And mine were beside the skateboard. 583 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:33,400 I get you. 584 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,200 Sometimes my job gets done for me, doesn't it? 585 00:28:36,820 --> 00:28:38,840 It does mean that Bob and Sally don't get any points for that. 586 00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:40,510 Then it goes Mark with three, Nish with four, 587 00:28:40,510 --> 00:28:42,200 - Aisling Bea wins the task! - Boom! 588 00:28:46,930 --> 00:28:48,280 What do we have coming up next, Alex? 589 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:50,330 I'm afraid we're gonna mess with Nish's brain again. 590 00:28:50,330 --> 00:28:52,000 It's another bloody referendum. 591 00:29:13,710 --> 00:29:15,170 Oh. 592 00:29:15,170 --> 00:29:16,880 Just trying to look natural on camera. 593 00:29:21,750 --> 00:29:23,760 This does not look authorised. 594 00:29:32,950 --> 00:29:37,260 "Vote for which contestant you think should receive five bonus points." 595 00:29:37,260 --> 00:29:42,200 "The contestant who receives the most votes will receive five bonus points." 596 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,170 "You may vote for yourself." 597 00:29:44,170 --> 00:29:48,330 "If, however, you vote for yourself and fail to receive most votes, 598 00:29:48,330 --> 00:29:50,380 you will lose two points." 599 00:29:51,420 --> 00:29:53,350 Ah, there's a polling booth there. Lucky. 600 00:29:53,350 --> 00:29:54,805 That's convenient, actually. 601 00:29:54,805 --> 00:29:57,170 See, if I vote for myself... 602 00:29:57,170 --> 00:29:58,440 I'm at risk. 603 00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:00,110 But on the other hand... 604 00:30:00,110 --> 00:30:03,400 I do think I should receive all the bonus points. 605 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:05,200 The guys will all vote for themselves, 606 00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:10,240 except... Bob, who is a kind of wild card. 607 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:12,910 And Aisling and I will vote for other people. 608 00:30:18,950 --> 00:30:20,050 Passed my vote. 609 00:30:21,620 --> 00:30:23,080 Done. 610 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:24,310 Democracy. 611 00:30:29,460 --> 00:30:32,150 So they're voting for someone to get five bonus points. 612 00:30:32,150 --> 00:30:34,860 I guess the tactic is to vote for who you think is the weakest person, 613 00:30:34,860 --> 00:30:36,570 - to improve their score. - Yep. 614 00:30:36,570 --> 00:30:38,460 Sally voted for Bob, Bob voted for Sally. 615 00:30:38,460 --> 00:30:40,750 - That's nice. - Aww! 616 00:30:40,750 --> 00:30:42,750 Aisling also voted for Sally. 617 00:30:42,750 --> 00:30:43,260 Aww. 618 00:30:43,260 --> 00:30:45,440 So far, so true. So far no one's voted for themselves. 619 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:46,880 - Yeah, but... - What do you think Mark and Nish did? 620 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:47,880 I mean... 621 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,840 They voted for themselves. Exactly what Sally said came true. 622 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:54,220 Sally gets five points. They both lose two points. 623 00:30:56,950 --> 00:30:58,050 It was incredible. 624 00:30:59,330 --> 00:31:01,530 The scoreboard now looks very even. It looks like this. 625 00:31:01,530 --> 00:31:03,260 Sally and Aisling are both at the top, 626 00:31:03,260 --> 00:31:04,620 followed by Mark and Bob, 627 00:31:04,620 --> 00:31:05,570 and there's Nish. 628 00:31:05,570 --> 00:31:07,020 There we go. The scoreboard. 629 00:31:09,660 --> 00:31:12,970 That is fast becoming the subtitle of this series. 630 00:31:12,970 --> 00:31:14,650 - "And there's Nish." - "And there's Nish." 631 00:31:15,730 --> 00:31:17,260 OK, we've got time for another one, right? 632 00:31:17,260 --> 00:31:19,180 Jolly good. Here you go. 633 00:31:30,940 --> 00:31:31,860 Bonjour, Alex. 634 00:31:31,860 --> 00:31:33,130 Hello, Aisling. 635 00:31:33,130 --> 00:31:36,580 Oh, right, fine. Don't reply in the language I came in with. 636 00:31:38,020 --> 00:31:39,280 Hello, Sally. 637 00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:41,400 Hi. Is this an art task? 638 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:42,910 I'm wearing day-of-the-week socks. 639 00:31:42,910 --> 00:31:44,150 But it's the wrong day. 640 00:31:44,150 --> 00:31:46,020 I don't give an S. 641 00:31:46,020 --> 00:31:47,410 Primary school. 642 00:31:47,410 --> 00:31:49,150 - Feeling. Vibe. - OK. 643 00:31:49,150 --> 00:31:49,860 Just saying. 644 00:31:49,860 --> 00:31:51,130 Was it a happy time? 645 00:31:51,130 --> 00:31:52,480 - For me? - Yeah. 646 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:54,200 My first day wasn't. 647 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,130 Someone had done a poo in the sandpit. 648 00:32:00,550 --> 00:32:02,885 "Make a funny little flick-book film." 649 00:32:02,885 --> 00:32:05,430 "The mat beneath your feet..." 650 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:08,080 "is the paper." 651 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:11,110 "The camera above your head will take photos of your paper." 652 00:32:11,110 --> 00:32:14,350 "Funniest little flick-book film wins." 653 00:32:14,350 --> 00:32:16,020 "You have one hour." 654 00:32:16,020 --> 00:32:17,830 "Now flick the flick-book." 655 00:32:22,150 --> 00:32:24,660 "Your time start... Your time sta..." 656 00:32:24,660 --> 00:32:27,805 "Your time s... Your time... Y." 657 00:32:27,805 --> 00:32:29,750 I did it backwards, didn't I, Alex? 658 00:32:33,860 --> 00:32:35,280 Er, who shat in the sandpit? 659 00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:37,130 I'll never know. 660 00:32:37,130 --> 00:32:38,840 I remember it was sweet. 661 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:40,950 That's all I remember. 662 00:32:40,950 --> 00:32:43,880 I mean, at that age, something brown and cylindrical, it's going in. 663 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:45,750 Pop it in. 664 00:32:45,750 --> 00:32:47,770 So, uh, we're gonna see Bob's first, 665 00:32:47,770 --> 00:32:51,480 who did an instructional video on how to peel a banana. 666 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:22,110 That was amazing! I fucking loved that. 667 00:33:22,110 --> 00:33:23,880 We have, of course, made it into a flick-book. There it is. 668 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:25,240 - Wanna have a go? - That's a work of art. 669 00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,970 - That is... - It's technically excellent. 670 00:33:27,970 --> 00:33:29,950 Really satisfying, Bob. 671 00:33:29,950 --> 00:33:31,930 It really was exceptional. Who's next? 672 00:33:31,930 --> 00:33:34,650 Uh, do you want to see Sally's one? 673 00:33:34,650 --> 00:33:36,960 - Oh, yes. - OK, this is Sally's. 674 00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:43,080 Le chat boing-boing. Le chat boing-boing. 675 00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:45,220 Le chat boing-boing. 676 00:33:45,220 --> 00:33:48,950 Les chapeaux! Uh-oh, attention, chapeaux! 677 00:33:48,950 --> 00:33:51,750 Ils sont dangereux. Oh, non! 678 00:33:51,750 --> 00:33:53,150 Oh, non, petit chat! 679 00:33:53,150 --> 00:33:54,400 Les chapeaux! 680 00:33:56,240 --> 00:34:00,400 Le chat a été mangé par les chapeaux. Uh-oh! 681 00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:01,750 Fin. 682 00:34:06,310 --> 00:34:09,020 Do you want me to... I could translate it while you look at the flick. 683 00:34:09,020 --> 00:34:11,570 My French is not all that, so if you could translate it into English, 684 00:34:11,570 --> 00:34:13,280 I think I'd get a full understanding of the film. 685 00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,800 "The cat is boing-boing. The cat is boing- boing. The cat is boing-boing." 686 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:17,930 "The hat. Uh-oh, watch out for the hats! The hats are dangerous." 687 00:34:17,930 --> 00:34:19,110 "Oh, no, little cat! The hats!" 688 00:34:19,110 --> 00:34:21,310 "The cat has been eaten by the hats. Uh-oh." 689 00:34:21,310 --> 00:34:23,570 It's better in French, isn't it? 690 00:34:23,570 --> 00:34:25,740 - End? - End? Oh, sorry. End. 691 00:34:25,740 --> 00:34:28,640 And if you eat bananas, the chat definitely boing-boings. 692 00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:30,860 Right, quick break. 693 00:34:30,860 --> 00:34:33,480 One part to go, and that features a live task, 694 00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:35,480 so until then, or perhaps for ever, 695 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:36,580 goodbye, everyone. 696 00:34:48,730 --> 00:34:50,970 Hello. Welcome back to every single one of you. 697 00:34:50,970 --> 00:34:52,950 Alex, what were we doing before the break? 698 00:34:52,950 --> 00:34:54,910 We were having a good old flick. 699 00:34:54,910 --> 00:34:56,570 Who's next? 700 00:34:56,570 --> 00:34:58,480 Do you want to have a look at Aisling's? 701 00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:00,710 - Yes, please. - OK, this is more complicated. 702 00:35:00,710 --> 00:35:01,810 Hmm. 703 00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:41,630 It is complicated. 704 00:35:43,220 --> 00:35:45,750 I want to, if I may, drill down into the narrative, 705 00:35:45,750 --> 00:35:48,000 because I do think this is an allegory. 706 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:48,660 Yes. 707 00:35:48,660 --> 00:35:52,600 My perception is that you think that love 708 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,470 is jumping at the wrong man 709 00:35:56,730 --> 00:35:59,310 him deflecting you 710 00:35:59,310 --> 00:36:03,295 and, by chance, you ending in the arms of the right man, 711 00:36:03,295 --> 00:36:05,820 and then you're forced to eat shit. 712 00:36:07,770 --> 00:36:10,680 Yeah, that's actually it. Yeah. 713 00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:14,495 Ring my mother, she'll tell you that's pretty much my relationship history. 714 00:36:14,495 --> 00:36:16,400 Because when you meet the right guy, you think, 715 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,200 "Oh, this is gonna be great. This is gonna be amazing." 716 00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:20,280 And they're like, "No, I brought all my past issues." 717 00:36:23,260 --> 00:36:24,680 In the form of dog shit. 718 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:27,330 Yeah, yeah, yeah, from this other bitch I was seeing. 719 00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:30,080 Who's next, Alex? 720 00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:30,940 Two left to see, 721 00:36:30,940 --> 00:36:33,990 and the first of the last to see is Mark Watson. 722 00:37:27,550 --> 00:37:30,320 Well, you should all know that Mark and Alex 723 00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,420 have been friends for 20 years, so... 724 00:37:32,420 --> 00:37:33,970 And most of it's been like that. 725 00:37:33,970 --> 00:37:35,710 Yeah, some real beauty there. 726 00:37:35,710 --> 00:37:38,260 It was a very simple story of friends getting together, 727 00:37:38,260 --> 00:37:42,240 sharing some experiences, falling out because of the selfishness of one of them, 728 00:37:42,240 --> 00:37:44,170 and then that friend atoning for it. 729 00:37:44,170 --> 00:37:46,060 You atoned with a kiwi fruit. 730 00:37:46,060 --> 00:37:47,510 Atoned with a kiwi fruit, the traditional method. 731 00:37:47,510 --> 00:37:49,840 - And you ate the kiwi fruit together. - We did, yeah. 732 00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:53,440 I don't know, were there slight homoerotic undertones? 733 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:54,000 Slight? 734 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,550 Well, that kind of stuff does really well at the box office, so yeah. 735 00:37:56,550 --> 00:37:57,200 Oh, OK. 736 00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:58,330 I thought it was really touching, 737 00:37:58,330 --> 00:38:00,650 and I loved the way we could see your pants all throughout. 738 00:38:01,460 --> 00:38:03,460 Le chat dans le pantalons. 739 00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:08,280 We are gonna see the chat one more time now, if that's alright? 740 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:08,660 Yeah. 741 00:38:08,660 --> 00:38:09,970 We're gonna see the final film, Nish, 742 00:38:09,970 --> 00:38:12,620 who did feature le chatty boing-boing. 743 00:38:12,620 --> 00:38:13,150 Oui. 744 00:38:13,150 --> 00:38:14,250 Here it is. 745 00:38:47,020 --> 00:38:48,180 Où est le chat?! 746 00:38:48,910 --> 00:38:51,420 Le est dans le Nish. 747 00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:55,570 Oh, that is an absolutely savage piece of filmmaking. 748 00:38:56,730 --> 00:38:58,880 I can barely separate them. 749 00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:00,620 - But if I had to... - Which you do. 750 00:39:00,620 --> 00:39:02,180 Purely on artistic merit, 751 00:39:02,180 --> 00:39:04,860 if I were to give two films the edge, 752 00:39:04,860 --> 00:39:08,000 I would give Bob and Nish's pieces of work the edge. 753 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,280 They were technically very proficient. 754 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,260 - So five points to both of them? - I would give five points to them. 755 00:39:11,260 --> 00:39:14,200 Then the other three, who I also hugely enjoyed, 756 00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:15,480 I would give three points each. 757 00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:16,060 Oh! 758 00:39:16,060 --> 00:39:18,220 OK, so we've got two first places, and three third places. 759 00:39:18,220 --> 00:39:19,780 That's how it works. Three third places. 760 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,320 Oh, God, d'you know what? 761 00:39:26,060 --> 00:39:28,170 I've just been wondering, what are the series scores like? 762 00:39:28,170 --> 00:39:29,930 I thought you might mean that. Well, I've got them here. 763 00:39:29,930 --> 00:39:32,370 It is tight. We've got Nish Kumar on 90. 764 00:39:32,370 --> 00:39:32,800 Yes! 765 00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:34,750 And then we jump up a bit. We've got Sally... 766 00:39:37,420 --> 00:39:39,040 Sally's on 112. 767 00:39:40,570 --> 00:39:45,660 Aisling on 114, Mark 115, Bob 117. It's within five points. 768 00:39:45,660 --> 00:39:47,880 Within five, and then Nish. 769 00:39:50,420 --> 00:39:53,400 - It's between Aisling and Sally in this episode. - Let's have a look. 770 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,480 15 points each at this stage. One task to go. 771 00:39:59,240 --> 00:40:02,180 Please head to the stage for the final task of the show! 772 00:40:10,930 --> 00:40:11,930 Hello, Greg. 773 00:40:11,930 --> 00:40:13,330 Hello, Alex. 774 00:40:13,330 --> 00:40:16,770 Would you please tell me who's going to read out tonight's final task? 775 00:40:16,770 --> 00:40:18,700 It's gonna be Aisling Bea. 776 00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:20,940 Thank you, sir. 777 00:40:23,930 --> 00:40:25,205 Perfect. 778 00:40:25,205 --> 00:40:29,225 "Send the most things to the Taskmaster." 779 00:40:29,225 --> 00:40:35,400 "Items must travel via zip line and land on your segment of the Taskmaster's table." 780 00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:40,260 "You may not move from your current position." 781 00:40:40,260 --> 00:40:40,710 Yeah. 782 00:40:40,710 --> 00:40:42,310 "You have..." 783 00:40:42,310 --> 00:40:44,060 "100 seconds!" 784 00:40:44,060 --> 00:40:45,800 OK, yeah, I'll blow the whistle to start. 785 00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:47,750 It was very dramatic. It was very dramatic. 786 00:40:47,750 --> 00:40:49,640 I realise I'm not a very dramatic person, yeah. 787 00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:52,570 OK, so you've got 100 seconds. Good luck. 788 00:40:52,570 --> 00:40:54,200 Your time starts... 789 00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:58,600 Stay on the mat, please, Aisling. Stay on the mat. 790 00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:00,570 - Do stay on the mat, please, Bob. - Sorry. 791 00:41:00,570 --> 00:41:02,740 Do stay on the mat. Do stay on the mat. 792 00:41:03,550 --> 00:41:05,460 Oh, what? How's he done that?! 793 00:41:05,460 --> 00:41:07,030 Bob Mortimer, basket in. 794 00:41:07,910 --> 00:41:11,130 Oh, we've got a problem here. Oh, you must stay on the mat. 795 00:41:11,130 --> 00:41:12,480 - Yes? - Can I get the wire? 796 00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:15,530 Real problems here. She let go of it, but she must stay on the mat. 797 00:41:15,530 --> 00:41:17,580 Come on, the bra! No! 798 00:41:22,240 --> 00:41:23,340 Fuck off! 799 00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:29,460 She's on the mat. 800 00:41:32,510 --> 00:41:35,440 You've 35 seconds left, 35 seconds left! 801 00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,170 - Come on, shoe! - The shoe's on! 802 00:41:37,170 --> 00:41:40,570 Damn you! Damn you, I'll see you in hell! 803 00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:46,200 Why can't I get the coat hanger on there? Come on, you prick! 804 00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:50,280 They must travel via the zip wire. 805 00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:51,460 Stay on your mat, please, Aisling. 806 00:41:51,460 --> 00:41:53,060 - Come on, you prick! - Stay on your mat, Aisling. 807 00:41:53,060 --> 00:41:54,570 Stay on your mat. Stay on your mat. 808 00:41:54,570 --> 00:41:56,350 You stupid monkey prick! 809 00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:58,840 You've got five seconds left. 810 00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:00,200 You've got three seconds left. 811 00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:03,600 Two, one... 812 00:42:07,550 --> 00:42:10,450 Come down and we'll see how that's affected the final scores! 813 00:42:16,820 --> 00:42:17,920 Well... 814 00:42:19,130 --> 00:42:21,130 Varying degrees of skill there, Alex. 815 00:42:21,130 --> 00:42:23,170 I was very concerned for your safety, Greg. 816 00:42:23,170 --> 00:42:24,880 Yes, so was I, Nish. 817 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,640 Sometimes you get caught up in the heat of the moment 818 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,280 and you chuck a coconut at a massive white dude. 819 00:42:32,770 --> 00:42:35,020 Unacceptable. Nul points. 820 00:42:35,020 --> 00:42:37,640 Um, I thought it was a lovely juxtaposition. 821 00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:43,200 At one point, Bob was just very delicately sending paper clips down. 822 00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:48,040 And very effectively. And just to his right, Aisling was shouting, 823 00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:49,660 "Get down there, you monkey prick." 824 00:42:51,750 --> 00:42:53,710 Um, how did Mark do? 825 00:42:53,710 --> 00:42:56,040 Er, Mark did pretty well. He got five things down. 826 00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:58,220 He started with the... How did you get the balloons down there? 827 00:42:58,220 --> 00:42:59,310 In the little basket. 828 00:42:59,310 --> 00:43:00,910 He put the balloons in the little basket. 829 00:43:00,910 --> 00:43:03,310 Everyone had a nice run with the basket, I noticed. 830 00:43:03,310 --> 00:43:05,130 Not Sally, because she dropped the rope. 831 00:43:06,460 --> 00:43:08,080 So, no points for Sally? 832 00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:09,880 Well, it depends how you want to dish out the points. 833 00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:12,240 Are you disqualifying Nish for throwing coconuts at you? 834 00:43:12,240 --> 00:43:14,220 No, I'm not going to disqualify Nish, 835 00:43:14,220 --> 00:43:15,400 because, let's face it, 836 00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:16,400 the guy's broken. 837 00:43:18,220 --> 00:43:19,800 So it's Sally, then Aisling, 838 00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:21,570 then Nish in third, who got four things in, 839 00:43:21,570 --> 00:43:24,240 Mark got five. Bob, eight items. 840 00:43:24,240 --> 00:43:25,240 Wow! 841 00:43:29,110 --> 00:43:30,150 There's a change in the leaderboard. 842 00:43:30,150 --> 00:43:32,080 The leaderboard now looks like this! 843 00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:35,170 The winner is Mr Bob Mortimer! 844 00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:41,170 Well done, Bob. Will you please head to the stage 845 00:43:41,170 --> 00:43:45,640 and have fun fondling your surprisingly expensive items! 846 00:43:48,110 --> 00:43:50,130 How much loo roll do you have left, Alex? 847 00:43:50,130 --> 00:43:52,840 I've got 84. Enough for three more dirts. 848 00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:55,710 So what have we learnt today? 849 00:43:55,710 --> 00:43:57,860 Nous avons appris que les chats 850 00:43:57,860 --> 00:43:59,310 est dans les chapeaux, 851 00:43:59,310 --> 00:44:02,040 et les chat est dans Nish. 852 00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:04,185 Le chat ils fait mort. 853 00:44:04,185 --> 00:44:07,000 Et Alex c'est un dick. 854 00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:10,860 That's it for another Taskmaster. 855 00:44:10,860 --> 00:44:14,280 Well done to Bob and see you next time for the grand finale! 856 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:15,450 Good night!