1
00:00:11,020 --> 00:00:12,340
Ooh!
2
00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:17,340
Argh!
3
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:20,860
Ah! No! Wah!
4
00:00:33,340 --> 00:00:34,900
Hello!
5
00:00:34,940 --> 00:00:36,660
And welcome.
6
00:00:36,700 --> 00:00:38,980
I'm fine, thanks for asking.
7
00:00:39,020 --> 00:00:42,660
It's episode nine, which means
it's the dying stages of competition,
8
00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:44,860
{\an3}and I'm dying to introduce you
9
00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:48,100
{\an3}to the people dying
to win my gold-dyed face.
10
00:00:48,140 --> 00:00:52,380
So, please, give a mighty cheer
for Iain Stirling...
11
00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:55,900
..Joe Thomas...
12
00:00:55,940 --> 00:00:58,140
..Lou Sanders...
13
00:00:58,180 --> 00:01:00,020
..Paul Sinha...
14
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:03,300
..and Sian Gibson!
15
00:01:03,340 --> 00:01:04,460
And he's here beside -
16
00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:07,220
I can tell because of the heavy
breathing and the wet noises -
17
00:01:07,260 --> 00:01:09,340
it's little Alex Horne!
18
00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:15,420
It's good to be here.
Cold, though, isn't it?
19
00:01:15,460 --> 00:01:16,940
Cold. Yeah, it is cold.
20
00:01:16,980 --> 00:01:20,260
And I'm not allowed to wear gloves,
obviously, because of my iPad,
21
00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:24,820
but I've just discovered something
called fingerless gloves, so...
22
00:01:24,860 --> 00:01:25,980
What...?
23
00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:29,180
They're edible, are they?
24
00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:30,500
What are you talking about?
25
00:01:30,540 --> 00:01:31,740
Are they edible fingers?
26
00:01:31,780 --> 00:01:33,140
Yes.
27
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:34,540
You can eat your fingers,
28
00:01:34,580 --> 00:01:37,540
but I want you to act as if
you're eating your real fingers.
29
00:01:42,740 --> 00:01:43,820
Argh!
30
00:01:45,740 --> 00:01:47,340
Argh!
31
00:01:48,380 --> 00:01:49,540
Argh!
32
00:01:50,940 --> 00:01:52,540
Argh!
33
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:56,180
Right. Come on, then.
What surprise category this time?
34
00:01:56,220 --> 00:01:57,460
Take your time.
35
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:01,340
You swallow your fingers down,
then we'll get on with the show.
36
00:02:01,380 --> 00:02:05,700
All gone. All gone, Daddy.
I'll tell you right now.
37
00:02:05,740 --> 00:02:08,860
It's the best form of protection.
38
00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:10,060
OK?
39
00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:15,700
Greg will judge which is
the best form of protection,
40
00:02:15,740 --> 00:02:18,060
handing out five points to
the person that brought it in.
41
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:20,260
The person with the most points
at the end of the show
42
00:02:20,300 --> 00:02:22,460
will take all five forms
of protection home
43
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,220
and be especially safe and sound.
44
00:02:24,260 --> 00:02:27,260
Paul Sinha, what is
your brilliant form of protection
45
00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:28,980
that you've brought with you?
46
00:02:29,020 --> 00:02:31,020
At the end of every series
of The Chase,
47
00:02:31,060 --> 00:02:33,180
they used to give us
a big luxury hamper,
48
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:37,140
but one series
they decided to give us this...
49
00:02:37,180 --> 00:02:38,340
There we go.
50
00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:43,420
There's only one of these
in the world,
51
00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:45,180
because on the back of it,
it says...
52
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:49,420
The Sinnerman.
53
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:51,300
Number one, it protects you
from the cold.
54
00:02:51,340 --> 00:02:54,460
Number two, it protects you
from getting high temperatures.
55
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:57,140
Number three, it protects you
from having children,
56
00:02:57,180 --> 00:02:59,300
because no-one will fuck you.
57
00:03:00,900 --> 00:03:03,860
I can't... Yeah. Would you?
No, no, no, I wouldn't.
58
00:03:05,380 --> 00:03:08,380
That's awful. I imagine it protects
you from forming friendships.
59
00:03:08,420 --> 00:03:11,780
It is one of the worst things
I've ever seen, Paul.
60
00:03:11,820 --> 00:03:12,940
Sian?
61
00:03:12,980 --> 00:03:15,500
I've brought some sweaty eggs.
62
00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:17,260
Please be hen's eggs.
63
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:20,420
They're not my eggs! LAUGHTER
64
00:03:20,460 --> 00:03:21,860
They don't seem very protected.
65
00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:24,020
Is it the Tupperware box
I'm celebrating here?
66
00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:27,620
If you open that Tupperware...
Yeah. ..on a train... Yeah.
67
00:03:27,660 --> 00:03:30,020
..carriage to yourself - protected.
68
00:03:33,740 --> 00:03:37,140
You've brought a sandwich
box full of smelly eggs. Smelly eggs.
69
00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:39,620
Nice to have established
last place this early, isn't it?
70
00:03:39,660 --> 00:03:40,980
No!
71
00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:42,180
Joe.
72
00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:45,140
Best form of protection
is a bunker, of course.
73
00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:46,220
Of course.
74
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,300
So this is access to a bunker,
75
00:03:48,340 --> 00:03:50,620
and that'll protect you
against disasters,
76
00:03:50,660 --> 00:03:52,340
manmade or otherwise, and...
77
00:03:52,380 --> 00:03:53,660
Is the bunker the prize?
78
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,220
Access to the bunker.
79
00:03:55,260 --> 00:03:57,300
It's a voucher to visit a bunker.
Yeah. Here it is.
80
00:03:58,660 --> 00:04:00,340
What a cool bunker as well, though.
81
00:04:00,380 --> 00:04:03,140
Yes, they do paintballing
and Laser Quest in there. Yeah.
82
00:04:04,420 --> 00:04:07,420
I'd have to be near it in case
there was a nuclear war.
83
00:04:07,460 --> 00:04:10,020
Well, yeah, I mean,
just move near it.
84
00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:11,060
Uh, well...
85
00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:14,100
"Move near it..." Yeah.
86
00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:19,300
Oh, God. You've got me a ticket to
a novelty bunker. Good.
87
00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:22,500
Iain? To protect yourself,
you need to be like a warrior,
88
00:04:22,540 --> 00:04:25,380
so I got myself
a sumo wrestler suit.
89
00:04:25,420 --> 00:04:27,100
There he is.
90
00:04:29,380 --> 00:04:30,780
Best form of protection.
91
00:04:30,820 --> 00:04:32,380
Unless you've got a pin.
92
00:04:32,420 --> 00:04:33,420
Yeah.
93
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:37,900
I thought you'd have some questions,
so I went on the website...
94
00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:41,020
Not really. But I've made
a lot of judgments.
95
00:04:41,060 --> 00:04:42,780
I went on the website -
96
00:04:42,820 --> 00:04:44,740
"is it suitable for a
five-year-old?"
97
00:04:44,780 --> 00:04:45,900
"Yes, if they're tall."
98
00:04:47,460 --> 00:04:49,340
"Why doesn't this fit
in my hand luggage?"
99
00:04:49,380 --> 00:04:51,780
And they've written,
"Have you tried deflating it?"
100
00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:54,860
Surprisingly comfortable.
101
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:57,700
It comes complete with built-in
nappy and sumo hair hat
102
00:04:57,740 --> 00:04:59,060
for extra authenticity.
103
00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:01,020
It's got a built-in nappy?
104
00:05:01,060 --> 00:05:03,460
Yes. To protect yourself
from yourself.
105
00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:08,620
Right, Lou, I mean, can
you better any of these?
106
00:05:08,660 --> 00:05:09,900
I suspect so.
107
00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:12,900
Mine is a coat of protection,
so it's got...
108
00:05:12,940 --> 00:05:15,740
Let's have a look actually.
Here is the coat of protection.
109
00:05:15,780 --> 00:05:18,660
OK. To glance at - rubbish.
110
00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:20,420
Hang on! Yeah, I am.
111
00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:22,260
Are you joking with me?
112
00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:25,980
Um, so, beekeeper's hat -
protect against bees.
113
00:05:26,020 --> 00:05:28,420
A prayer protects against the Devil
114
00:05:28,460 --> 00:05:29,980
A cross - vampires.
115
00:05:30,020 --> 00:05:33,380
It's got washing-up gloves,
to protect your hands.
116
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:37,380
And also the jacket is waterproof.
117
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,780
Jesus Christ.
118
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,660
Yeah, I just want to say,
119
00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:43,740
Lou did tell me she wasn't
putting a condom on there
120
00:05:43,780 --> 00:05:45,340
because she doesn't
want to be tacky.
121
00:05:48,060 --> 00:05:49,300
Bear that in mind.
122
00:05:49,340 --> 00:05:51,980
Well, all right, then.
Let's make some judgments.
123
00:05:52,020 --> 00:05:53,460
Shouldn't be too hard, should it?
124
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:55,740
Smelly old eggs.
125
00:05:55,780 --> 00:05:57,900
3 points. OK, 3 points to Sian.
126
00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:01,620
Yeah. A voucher for
a novelty bunker - 3 points.
127
00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:04,100
Iain's sumo suit - 4 points.
128
00:06:04,140 --> 00:06:07,060
Don't know why -
just visually appealed to me.
129
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,060
4 points to Paul -
I wouldn't go near him
130
00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:11,100
if he was wearing
that horrible thing.
131
00:06:11,140 --> 00:06:14,340
And how can I deny being
protected from so many things -
132
00:06:14,380 --> 00:06:16,100
5 points goes to Lou Sanders.
133
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:22,580
Let's see a task. Yes.
134
00:06:22,620 --> 00:06:25,540
Do you fancy a bit of refuse
and a bit of bouncing?
135
00:06:25,580 --> 00:06:26,580
I hope so!
136
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:43,340
Hello, Iain.
137
00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:45,900
Yo.
138
00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:50,060
Ah. Hello, Lou.
139
00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:51,260
Hiya.
140
00:06:53,140 --> 00:06:54,740
OK.
141
00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:58,900
"Bounce one of these balls
so that it lands in that bin."
142
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:01,060
That bin? That bin.
143
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:03,020
"Bounce one of these balls" -
144
00:07:03,060 --> 00:07:06,460
so I can pick - "the most times
so that it lands in that bin."
145
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:08,060
"After propelling the ball,
146
00:07:08,100 --> 00:07:11,180
"you may not touch or strike it
on its way to that bin."
147
00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:14,500
"Most bounces between propulsion
and that bin wins."
148
00:07:14,540 --> 00:07:15,580
Nicely phrased.
149
00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:18,780
You must use the ball
you touch first.
150
00:07:18,820 --> 00:07:21,980
Think you touched
the yellow one. Oh!
151
00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:23,700
I don't know if I did.
152
00:07:23,740 --> 00:07:25,260
Probably did.
153
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:27,260
You have 20 minutes.
154
00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:29,380
Your time starts now.
155
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:33,820
"Bounce one of these balls the most
times so that it lands in that bin."
156
00:07:33,860 --> 00:07:37,180
Yeah. Can I move the bin?
Yeah, did you read all of the task?
157
00:07:37,220 --> 00:07:40,660
Again? Well, there's one particular
line that's relevant now.
158
00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:43,660
"After propelling the ball..."
Not that one.
159
00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:47,260
Oh, Jesus. "..You must use the first
ball you touch."
160
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,540
Yeah, you've gone for
the rubber-band ball.
161
00:07:49,580 --> 00:07:51,340
Is that not the bounciest?
162
00:07:51,380 --> 00:07:52,540
You'll never know.
163
00:07:53,820 --> 00:07:56,140
So I've just got to bounce
and get in? Yeah.
164
00:08:05,060 --> 00:08:08,340
So, both ladies made their decision
very quickly, by accident.
165
00:08:08,380 --> 00:08:10,620
They were having a lovely
stroke of a ball.
166
00:08:10,660 --> 00:08:13,660
Yes, the fingers made the decision
rather than the brain.
167
00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:15,180
Let's see some stuff. OK.
168
00:08:15,220 --> 00:08:19,180
First to bounce, it's
the natural sportsmen Paul and Joe.
169
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,780
I can't touch any of them without...
It's like chess, isn't it?
170
00:08:27,060 --> 00:08:28,260
Ooft!
171
00:08:35,780 --> 00:08:37,740
Hard to know, isn't it?
172
00:08:37,780 --> 00:08:39,980
I wouldn't rush it.
173
00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:43,460
It's so hard. So hard.
174
00:08:47,580 --> 00:08:49,300
Which ball do you think
is the bounciest?
175
00:08:49,340 --> 00:08:51,740
I've decided that
I don't think it matters.
176
00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:53,620
I've got other things on my mind.
177
00:08:55,860 --> 00:08:57,780
I'll go with this one.
178
00:08:57,820 --> 00:09:00,900
Let me see how bouncy that is.
That is not at all bouncy!
179
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,220
Take the tennis ball.
180
00:09:04,780 --> 00:09:06,780
Right. Only got one registered.
181
00:09:08,220 --> 00:09:09,460
OK.
182
00:09:10,620 --> 00:09:11,860
OK.
183
00:09:14,740 --> 00:09:17,260
{\an8}Oh, come on, you dick!
184
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:28,980
Four.
185
00:09:30,860 --> 00:09:33,460
Oh, come on. Just... come on!
186
00:09:34,980 --> 00:09:36,180
Maybe that was a two.
187
00:09:38,380 --> 00:09:40,980
Eight. But not into the bin.
188
00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:42,140
It's stuck.
189
00:09:44,380 --> 00:09:47,260
Two. Yeah, two still.
I think I've got a three in me.
190
00:09:48,540 --> 00:09:50,740
That's two again.
A good two, though, I thought.
191
00:09:50,780 --> 00:09:52,500
That was a better two.
192
00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:55,700
Oh, a lot of bounces.
193
00:09:57,220 --> 00:09:58,500
How many do you think that was?
194
00:09:58,540 --> 00:09:59,980
I want to say four but...
195
00:10:01,380 --> 00:10:03,980
That's the furthest I've got it
away from where I need it to be.
196
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:08,140
Well done, Paul. HE PANTS
197
00:10:08,180 --> 00:10:09,780
You OK? Yeah, it was fun.
198
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,420
I've written two quotes down
from you.
199
00:10:15,460 --> 00:10:17,100
"I had other things on my mind" -
200
00:10:17,140 --> 00:10:18,820
and I'm interested
to know what they were.
201
00:10:18,860 --> 00:10:19,708
I've also written down,
202
00:10:19,732 --> 00:10:21,180
"It's like chess, isn't it?"
203
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,500
long pause...
204
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,060
"Ooft!"
205
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:27,620
What was on your mind?
What was on my mind?
206
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,420
I was wondering if I could remember
207
00:10:29,460 --> 00:10:31,340
what the 1984 Christmas
number 1 was.
208
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:34,340
And then I remembered it was Band
Aid, Do They Know It's Christmas?
209
00:10:34,380 --> 00:10:37,420
And then I moved on to the task.
210
00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:40,620
I'd argue it was Power Of Love
by Frankie Goes To Hollywood.
211
00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:42,700
You'll argue wrong.
212
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,700
Joe, a better two.
213
00:10:45,740 --> 00:10:47,820
Yeah, well, it was a better two.
It was a better two.
214
00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:49,740
And you always thought
you had a three in you.
215
00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:51,700
I've always thought that.
216
00:10:51,740 --> 00:10:53,860
But in the end
it turned out to be a four.
217
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:55,780
It was four bounces.
And I've Googled it,
218
00:10:55,820 --> 00:10:58,220
there's only three whole numbers
lower than that -
219
00:10:58,260 --> 00:11:02,140
they're three, two and one,
so it is quite a low score.
220
00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:05,180
Paul - nine complete bounces.
221
00:11:05,220 --> 00:11:07,020
Thank you. Lovely.
222
00:11:07,060 --> 00:11:08,860
So, not too bad -
in the lead at the moment.
223
00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:10,740
APPLAUSE Ha! What's that sound?
224
00:11:10,780 --> 00:11:12,900
It's Part Two coming after the break.
225
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,900
Hello! Welcome back to Taskmaster.
226
00:11:24,940 --> 00:11:27,740
What was happening before
the break, little Alex Horne?
227
00:11:27,780 --> 00:11:30,300
Hi there, pleased to meet you all.
I've got a new bicycle.
228
00:11:30,340 --> 00:11:31,980
The task in play is as follows.
229
00:11:32,020 --> 00:11:34,580
Bounce a ball the most times
before it lands in the bin.
230
00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:36,420
And, in a video all by himself,
231
00:11:36,460 --> 00:11:38,740
it's a bouncy-bouncy
Mr Iain Stirling.
232
00:11:45,820 --> 00:11:47,540
That didn't really help.
233
00:11:50,340 --> 00:11:52,500
See, that could be an issue, that.
234
00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:54,860
That's risky.
235
00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:57,660
Oh, now then!
236
00:11:58,700 --> 00:12:01,060
This could be winner-winner
chicken dinner, this.
237
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:04,420
Oh, no, it's going to be
harder than I thought.
238
00:12:08,780 --> 00:12:10,020
Six?
239
00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:12,300
I made that six as well, yeah.
240
00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:13,940
Seven? No, six again.
241
00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:15,300
Can I use some of these pillows?
242
00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:18,700
That is perfect, gorgeous.
243
00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:24,980
This is interesting. Watch.
244
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,020
Three and a half minutes.
245
00:12:29,060 --> 00:12:30,620
That was loads.
246
00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:32,780
Is it in the bin? No, but it is...
247
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:34,860
Where's the ball, Iain?
248
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:42,980
How many was that? Six.
249
00:12:43,020 --> 00:12:45,100
Six?! No, no, sorry, sorry.
250
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,500
How many have you put down? 36.
251
00:12:46,540 --> 00:12:48,380
Yeah, 36 - I'll take it.
252
00:12:48,420 --> 00:12:49,700
36, baby!
253
00:12:52,740 --> 00:12:56,740
I will do my best to ignore
your cry of "baby" at the end.
254
00:12:56,780 --> 00:13:00,860
Throughout the competition, Iain has
often been the person who's gone,
255
00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:03,620
"Right, I'm going in -
let's fuckin' do this!"
256
00:13:03,660 --> 00:13:05,260
Yeah. Without a lot of thought.
257
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:07,660
But that was great tactical
thinking from the start.
258
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,820
I found it remarkable that,
out of the five,
259
00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:11,660
he's the only one
who picked the ball
260
00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:13,420
whose main adjective
is bouncy. Yeah.
261
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,060
Only one who picked the bouncy ball.
262
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:17,740
I mean, the drainpipe system's
a work of genius, isn't it?
263
00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:19,620
How many bounces were
within the pipe?
264
00:13:19,660 --> 00:13:23,140
I think it was the same as
my age used to be - 36.
265
00:13:23,180 --> 00:13:24,460
I think it was 36.
266
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,660
OK, only two people left -
267
00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:28,500
and we've grouped them together
268
00:13:28,540 --> 00:13:31,020
because it really helps
to speed things up.
269
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,460
Here are Lou and Sian.
270
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:37,700
Bounce it the most times.
271
00:13:37,740 --> 00:13:39,300
Can you just explain it, please,
272
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,940
in layman's terms?
273
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,020
Hold on a minute.
274
00:13:44,060 --> 00:13:45,420
You've got to propel a ball. Yeah.
275
00:13:45,460 --> 00:13:47,076
And it's going to end up
in the bin. Yeah.
276
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:50,340
'And I'm going to count how many
times it bounces between you and the bin.
277
00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:52,060
Have you got any string, please?
278
00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:53,220
There's a shed.
279
00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:00,020
Oh, no!
280
00:14:00,060 --> 00:14:01,500
It's the grass.
281
00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:04,420
Have you thrown things before?
282
00:14:04,460 --> 00:14:05,500
OK. Ready?
283
00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:07,020
Yeah.
284
00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:09,300
Bounce, bounce...
285
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:14,380
I can't help thinking
I've chosen the wrong method!
286
00:14:16,980 --> 00:14:19,060
That bounced about 12 times then.
287
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:22,780
In school, they used to have, like,
effort badges.
288
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,940
Have you thought about that?
289
00:14:24,980 --> 00:14:26,540
You want an effort badge? Yeah.
290
00:14:32,860 --> 00:14:34,060
Oh, this is interesting.
291
00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:43,100
{\an8}Feels like it's easier with a net.
It is easier with a net.
292
00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,460
Imagine if I didn't
get it in the bin now.
293
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:50,060
Possibility.
294
00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:51,500
Propel.
295
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,660
Thanks, Lou. Thank you.
296
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:01,580
What a system. Is it valid?
297
00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:05,940
Well, I mean, "to bounce" means
to cause to move up or away
298
00:15:05,980 --> 00:15:07,900
after hitting a surface.
299
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:11,580
I can't see a problem with them.
Nor can I. Oh.
300
00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:13,060
I've got an issue.
301
00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:16,860
They, like, started it, like,
over lots of times.
302
00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:18,500
If you use that definition,
303
00:15:18,540 --> 00:15:20,260
all the times I've bounced it,
304
00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:22,220
you can use all of them
up until my go. No.
305
00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:25,660
The rule was you couldn't touch it
between propelling it and the bin.
306
00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:27,420
That wasn't written on the card.
307
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:29,860
It was exactly what
you read out at the start.
308
00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:33,540
They didn't touch it
between propelling and the bin.
309
00:15:33,580 --> 00:15:36,700
If anything -
if I may interject, baby -
310
00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:39,700
I would suggest that the ladies
used a bounce stabiliser.
311
00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:43,260
HE GASPS Wonderful. Yes, yes.
312
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:46,660
Thank you. How many bounces
did they get, big boy?
313
00:15:50,060 --> 00:15:52,180
Sian - 112 bounces.
314
00:15:52,220 --> 00:15:55,220
Which is 108 more than Joe.
315
00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:00,980
And Lou - who did her system for
the full ten minutes -
316
00:16:01,020 --> 00:16:03,540
There were 225
that struck the ground.
317
00:16:03,580 --> 00:16:05,180
That's 221 more than joe. Yeah.
318
00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:09,100
Yeah, I'm afraid it's 1 point to
Joe, 2 to Paul, 3 to Iain,
319
00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:11,780
4 to Sian, but 5 points
to Lou Sanders. Baby!
320
00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:19,180
Can I have the scores, please?
321
00:16:19,220 --> 00:16:21,300
Yes, the series scores,
first of all.
322
00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:22,780
Two people tied in second -
323
00:16:22,820 --> 00:16:24,460
Iain and Joe, on a 126.
324
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:28,420
But she is stretching her lead -
Lou's on 142 at the moment.
325
00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:33,460
In this particular episode,
326
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:34,820
Joe is in last place, with 4,
327
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:36,660
and Lou Sanders is
in the lead with 10.
328
00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:38,860
Wow. There we go. APPLAUSE
329
00:16:41,260 --> 00:16:43,300
Show me more,
show me sweet little more.
330
00:16:43,340 --> 00:16:46,340
I will. And you're "dust" in time
for this next one.
331
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,860
OK?
332
00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:03,620
Hello.
333
00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:06,340
Oh, hello, Lou.
334
00:17:06,380 --> 00:17:08,100
Guess what? Hello?
335
00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:09,180
Hi.
336
00:17:09,220 --> 00:17:11,700
Right, today, apparently,
337
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:14,060
I've been saying "sangwich" wrong
my whole life.
338
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,820
Sandwich? "Sangwich" I've been
saying. No, it's "sandwich".
339
00:17:16,860 --> 00:17:18,980
Yeah, I found that out today.
340
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:21,460
Do you want me to...? OK.
341
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,780
Oh.
342
00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:25,460
Dust.
343
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,860
What's...? OK. That's interesting.
344
00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:32,540
'Devise the most delicious dust.
345
00:17:32,580 --> 00:17:35,420
You have five minutes
to choose your ingredients.
346
00:17:35,460 --> 00:17:37,980
Then ten minutes to make
your delicious dust.
347
00:17:38,020 --> 00:17:40,660
And serve it in this dust pan.
348
00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:41,820
Your time starts now.
349
00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:43,660
I definitely want glitter.
350
00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:46,220
I've decided that I'm going to
go savoury.
351
00:17:46,260 --> 00:17:48,140
I don't think Greg gets
to the size that he is
352
00:17:48,180 --> 00:17:50,500
by dealing with non-savoury products.
353
00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:57,060
"I don't think that Greg
gets to be the size he is
354
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:58,980
"by eating non-savoury products?"
355
00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:06,940
I have no idea why you're
such a freak of nature, Greg.
356
00:18:06,980 --> 00:18:09,540
I have no idea whether
it's diet or pituitary tumour -
357
00:18:09,580 --> 00:18:11,260
it could be a combination of both!
358
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:16,820
Oh, I had no idea you were suggesting
that I was tall because I was ill.
359
00:18:16,860 --> 00:18:20,460
I thought you were suggesting I was
fat because I liked cheese!
360
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,140
Either way - thanks!
361
00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:25,660
Sian, obviously,
first instinct - glitter.
362
00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:28,420
Yeah, you've tried to
get glitter in every task.
363
00:18:28,460 --> 00:18:31,940
I've realised that it's embarrassing
for a middle-aged lady
364
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:34,900
to like glitter and princesses
as much as I do!
365
00:18:34,940 --> 00:18:38,740
Do you want to see the glitter lady
dust herself off with Paul Sinha?
366
00:18:38,780 --> 00:18:40,740
Erm... What?!
367
00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:43,500
..let's have a look.
OK. Here are Paul and Sian.
368
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:44,780
OK.
369
00:18:44,820 --> 00:18:46,220
That looks dusty.
370
00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:48,620
It's quite a big serving.
It's going to be a big serving.
371
00:18:52,020 --> 00:18:53,580
Mm.
372
00:18:53,620 --> 00:18:54,820
Popping candy.
373
00:18:56,420 --> 00:18:58,140
How much are you planning to make?
374
00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,780
Well, Greg's a big lad.
375
00:18:59,820 --> 00:19:03,420
'He's not just got the demeanour of a
king, he's the size of Henry VIII.
376
00:19:03,460 --> 00:19:05,300
{\an8}What can you tell me about
Henry VIII?
377
00:19:05,340 --> 00:19:07,940
Henry VIII was
a murderous misogynist
378
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,820
is, I think, the best way
to describe him.
379
00:19:10,860 --> 00:19:14,420
{\an8}He's been transformed into
a figure of respect
380
00:19:14,460 --> 00:19:16,660
by a patriarchal educational system
381
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:18,820
that doesn't really care
for the fate of wives.
382
00:19:18,860 --> 00:19:20,020
But other than that...
383
00:19:21,820 --> 00:19:23,700
Look at that for dust.
384
00:19:25,260 --> 00:19:26,620
Oh, don't hurt yourself.
385
00:19:26,660 --> 00:19:28,180
Oh, have you hurt yourself?
386
00:19:28,220 --> 00:19:29,860
Oh, no, you've grated yourself.
387
00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:31,420
Ooh, that looks horrible.
388
00:19:31,460 --> 00:19:33,220
Just... Maybe a rubber glove.
389
00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:34,740
Just worried about your fingers,
390
00:19:34,780 --> 00:19:37,180
because you're already
bleeding out of one of them.
391
00:19:37,220 --> 00:19:38,460
Oh, yeah.
392
00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:43,220
Some glitter. Oh, God.
393
00:19:43,260 --> 00:19:46,020
I'll try and pick it
up using the brush.
394
00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:51,900
Mmm, that's very nice.
395
00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:53,380
Here we go.
396
00:19:59,140 --> 00:20:01,220
Phwoar!
397
00:20:01,260 --> 00:20:02,820
Let me try. You don't...
398
00:20:05,940 --> 00:20:07,380
Goes for your throat, doesn't it?
399
00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:09,140
The popping happens afterwards.
400
00:20:12,940 --> 00:20:14,220
Right, well, thank you.
401
00:20:14,260 --> 00:20:16,220
Enjoy! Will do.
402
00:20:21,940 --> 00:20:24,540
Right, well, I'm going to have to
take your lead on this
403
00:20:24,580 --> 00:20:25,620
to some degree.
404
00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:29,060
I mean, was the flavour improved
by both contestants' blood?
405
00:20:30,140 --> 00:20:33,060
You've got mine and Paul's
DNA inside you.
406
00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:39,940
They were both either ends
of the sweet-and-savoury scale.
407
00:20:39,980 --> 00:20:41,940
They were quite nice, I suppose.
408
00:20:41,980 --> 00:20:44,260
Could I argue that
most of Sian's dust -
409
00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:47,580
maybe the work was done for her
by sweet manufacturers?
410
00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:50,540
I did grate my own chocolate.
And yours was grated cheese?
411
00:20:50,580 --> 00:20:53,740
Yeah, I just wanted to go for
delicious parmesan and pancetta.
412
00:20:53,780 --> 00:20:57,196
'Let's allow them both as dust. Now, you tell
me which was the most delicious of the two.
413
00:20:57,220 --> 00:20:59,180
I really like Paul's.
414
00:20:59,220 --> 00:21:01,020
Sorry. I just preferred it.
415
00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:03,940
Fourth place! Get in.
416
00:21:03,980 --> 00:21:05,900
That's fine.
417
00:21:05,940 --> 00:21:08,740
OK, time for the adverts
to do their thing.
418
00:21:08,780 --> 00:21:12,460
See you again soon for the beginning
of the second half of the show.
419
00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:13,940
Yes? Please? Please!
420
00:21:23,980 --> 00:21:26,180
Hello, everybody.
Thanks for coming back.
421
00:21:26,220 --> 00:21:28,180
Now, sit and listen
to my little assistant
422
00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:32,260
tell you about what's been going on -
all the time whilst licking his lips.
423
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:36,500
Before the break,
424
00:21:36,540 --> 00:21:39,140
they were trying to make
the tastiest dust -
425
00:21:39,180 --> 00:21:40,380
and they still are.
426
00:21:40,420 --> 00:21:44,580
Next up, presenting the vegan
dust option, it's Lou Sanders.
427
00:21:45,780 --> 00:21:47,620
I'm just making some dust, yeah?
428
00:21:47,660 --> 00:21:50,740
The most delicious dust, yes.
Enemy. An enemy of Greg's.
429
00:21:50,780 --> 00:21:52,500
That would be delicious for him.
430
00:21:52,540 --> 00:21:55,580
Who are his big enemies... His
main three enemies that are dead?
431
00:21:55,620 --> 00:21:57,620
That are dead...
432
00:21:57,660 --> 00:21:59,300
OK, so racism -
433
00:21:59,340 --> 00:22:00,940
nobody likes racism.
434
00:22:00,980 --> 00:22:04,660
So maybe we have something
that typifies racism
435
00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:07,220
and we burn it...
436
00:22:07,260 --> 00:22:08,660
and then we eat the dust.
437
00:22:08,700 --> 00:22:12,940
Good... Let's keep it
light, actually.
438
00:22:12,980 --> 00:22:16,180
Or a razz mag.
You know, the sexist ones.
439
00:22:16,220 --> 00:22:19,580
Well, it's porn but it's
not done in a tasteful way.
440
00:22:19,620 --> 00:22:22,980
We burn it and then we top it off
with Fizz Wiz.
441
00:22:23,020 --> 00:22:24,460
What is Fizz Wiz?
442
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:25,740
It's a popping candy.
443
00:22:29,700 --> 00:22:31,420
Disgusting!
444
00:22:33,180 --> 00:22:35,900
Something naughty,
something nice - here we go.
445
00:22:38,380 --> 00:22:40,420
How would you suggest I eat this?
446
00:22:40,460 --> 00:22:42,460
Tongue in the bowl.
447
00:22:42,500 --> 00:22:44,300
Just tongue in the bowl? Yes.
448
00:22:44,340 --> 00:22:45,380
Yes.
449
00:22:45,420 --> 00:22:47,340
Jolly along.
450
00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:52,180
Delicious?
451
00:22:52,220 --> 00:22:53,740
It's... It doesn't feel nice
452
00:22:53,780 --> 00:22:56,140
because you're eating it
out of a bloody pan,
453
00:22:56,180 --> 00:22:57,540
but that's are not my rules.
454
00:22:57,580 --> 00:22:59,060
I don't like the black bits.
455
00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:00,740
I flambeed the bowl!
456
00:23:03,740 --> 00:23:06,860
Uh... razz mag? I called them jazz
mags when I was a young man.
457
00:23:06,900 --> 00:23:08,460
Yeah, you can call them jazz mags.
458
00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:10,180
Jazz or razz? Clunge.
459
00:23:12,260 --> 00:23:16,620
Nice. Nice to combine popping candy
with a powerful statement.
460
00:23:16,660 --> 00:23:20,660
Mm. Lovely. It's like she was
burning the objectification of women
461
00:23:20,700 --> 00:23:23,180
and then getting you to consume it.
462
00:23:23,220 --> 00:23:24,740
But was it delicious?
463
00:23:24,780 --> 00:23:27,780
No, it wasn't. I've eaten
a lot of things on this programme
464
00:23:27,820 --> 00:23:30,100
and this was probably the worst
thing I've ever eaten.
465
00:23:30,140 --> 00:23:33,140
The popping candy was lovely,
but it had a lot of burn porn.
466
00:23:35,540 --> 00:23:38,580
Next up, we've got two guys.
Let's call them Joe,
467
00:23:38,620 --> 00:23:40,900
and let's call the other one Iain!
468
00:23:44,940 --> 00:23:46,500
Going to take out some of the lumps.
469
00:23:46,540 --> 00:23:48,060
Dust!
470
00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:50,780
Just the one Babybel.
471
00:23:50,820 --> 00:23:52,420
Dust!
472
00:23:52,460 --> 00:23:53,740
Dust the "chootney".
473
00:23:53,780 --> 00:23:56,260
The "chootney" is just
to make it look nice, yeah?
474
00:23:56,300 --> 00:23:59,300
I feel bad, scraping bits
of pork fat off my hands
475
00:23:59,340 --> 00:24:00,940
and then asking you to eat it.
476
00:24:00,980 --> 00:24:03,580
That's not really dust, is it?
477
00:24:03,620 --> 00:24:05,060
What's that, just...? Salt.
478
00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:07,700
How much salt are you
putting on to it? Fair amount.
479
00:24:07,740 --> 00:24:09,220
So this is cracker dust,
480
00:24:09,260 --> 00:24:12,500
and with your crackers, you've got
cheese, Babybel dust... Mm-hmm.
481
00:24:12,540 --> 00:24:14,300
..stilton dust... Mm-hmm.
482
00:24:14,340 --> 00:24:15,700
..cheddar dust.
483
00:24:15,740 --> 00:24:18,980
Um, we have crispy pork skin
484
00:24:19,020 --> 00:24:21,340
with some chicken reduction.
485
00:24:21,380 --> 00:24:24,780
And then, to follow,
we have a violet sherbet
486
00:24:24,820 --> 00:24:26,300
with a bit of honeycomb.
487
00:24:27,940 --> 00:24:32,260
'How was that? What's odd about it is that the
cracker's normally crunchy, and it's not crunchy.
488
00:24:32,300 --> 00:24:34,580
No it'll go gloopy, won't it?
489
00:24:35,860 --> 00:24:38,220
What do we think? That is salty.
490
00:24:38,260 --> 00:24:40,740
It's salty. OK. Ooh. In a good way?
491
00:24:40,780 --> 00:24:42,900
No. In a...
492
00:24:42,940 --> 00:24:45,420
Ugh! JOE LAUGHS
493
00:24:45,460 --> 00:24:47,980
You could actually use this
as a straw.
494
00:24:51,180 --> 00:24:52,220
It's good.
495
00:24:52,260 --> 00:24:53,620
Does it work?
496
00:24:55,740 --> 00:24:58,220
That's the driest thing
that's ever happened.
497
00:24:58,260 --> 00:25:00,820
Yeah, so this is pudding. OK.
498
00:25:00,860 --> 00:25:02,140
Attaboy.
499
00:25:03,660 --> 00:25:05,860
How's that? That's lovely.
500
00:25:05,900 --> 00:25:07,620
That's good? Mm, that is nice.
501
00:25:07,660 --> 00:25:09,780
Well, nice to spend
the time with you, Alex.
502
00:25:16,780 --> 00:25:19,980
Joe seemed like
a professional waiter.
503
00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:22,700
Yeah. Posher than a waiter.
Head waiter.
504
00:25:22,740 --> 00:25:25,340
Small servings,
but beautifully presented.
505
00:25:25,380 --> 00:25:27,900
Mmm. And we sat down next
to each other, didn't we? We did.
506
00:25:27,940 --> 00:25:30,700
You always sit next to
the waiter in a restaurant.
507
00:25:30,740 --> 00:25:32,420
And the waiter watches you. Yeah.
508
00:25:32,460 --> 00:25:35,860
And when you leave at the end,
the waiter's emotionally crushed.
509
00:25:37,460 --> 00:25:39,860
Well, the main course was
over-salty. We saw that.
510
00:25:39,900 --> 00:25:42,940
Yeah, yeah, it was. Because
it was mainly... Mainly salt.
511
00:25:42,980 --> 00:25:47,340
But then set off by the dessert,
which was delicious.
512
00:25:47,380 --> 00:25:49,380
That was made of Parma Violets.
513
00:25:49,420 --> 00:25:52,900
Yes, it was. And there was
so little burnt porn in it.
514
00:25:54,340 --> 00:25:58,260
Right. Iain, I know that
you've dealt with "sangwich",
515
00:25:58,300 --> 00:26:00,340
but we should probably
talk about "choot-ney".
516
00:26:00,380 --> 00:26:01,580
"Choot-ney".
517
00:26:03,340 --> 00:26:06,620
I have learned more about myself on
this show than I would have liked.
518
00:26:06,660 --> 00:26:12,540
Were his multiple dusts nice, though,
with the "chootney" alongside them?
519
00:26:12,580 --> 00:26:14,980
They were ambitious, definitely,
it was a full...
520
00:26:15,020 --> 00:26:17,700
Well, at one point
you started snorting feta,
521
00:26:17,740 --> 00:26:19,260
as far as I could work out.
522
00:26:19,300 --> 00:26:21,220
Chopping up lines of cheese.
523
00:26:22,420 --> 00:26:25,620
It was good. It was good.
We had a nice time. It was tasty.
524
00:26:25,660 --> 00:26:27,900
Nice time for two nice guys,
would you say?
525
00:26:27,940 --> 00:26:30,500
Yes, it was a smorgasbord of dust.
Do you want to score them?
526
00:26:30,540 --> 00:26:33,500
I really want you to score them,
because I didn't eat them.
527
00:26:33,540 --> 00:26:36,820
I enjoyed Lou's concept but didn't
enjoy the test, I have to be honest.
528
00:26:36,860 --> 00:26:38,740
1 point to Lou. OK.
529
00:26:38,780 --> 00:26:41,541
Two points to the next. Well, Sian's
and Paul's were both very basic -
530
00:26:41,580 --> 00:26:43,060
very savoury, very sweet.
531
00:26:43,100 --> 00:26:44,700
Yes. Joe's was the second-best.
532
00:26:44,740 --> 00:26:46,740
I would say Iain's was
tremendous dust.
533
00:26:46,780 --> 00:26:50,340
We go 2 points to Sian,
3 points to Paul,
534
00:26:50,380 --> 00:26:52,620
4 points to Joe and 5 points to Iain.
535
00:26:52,660 --> 00:26:56,020
Bang. There we go. Got it.
536
00:26:56,060 --> 00:26:57,380
Give me more.
537
00:26:57,420 --> 00:26:58,900
OK, it's a team task now,
538
00:26:58,940 --> 00:27:01,620
and it's a Taskmaster
Bonding Exercise.
539
00:27:01,660 --> 00:27:02,820
Ah.
540
00:27:13,620 --> 00:27:14,700
Hello. Hello, Joe.
541
00:27:14,740 --> 00:27:16,660
Hiya. Hello, Sian. Hiya.
542
00:27:18,180 --> 00:27:19,820
Hello, Iain.
543
00:27:19,860 --> 00:27:22,060
You all right?
Hello, Paul. Hi, Alex.
544
00:27:22,100 --> 00:27:23,780
Hello, Lou. Cooee.
545
00:27:23,820 --> 00:27:25,020
Right.
546
00:27:26,300 --> 00:27:28,700
"Make yourselves
look like one person."
547
00:27:28,740 --> 00:27:32,380
"The team that looks and moves
most like one person wins.
548
00:27:32,420 --> 00:27:34,060
"You have 20 minutes."
549
00:27:34,100 --> 00:27:38,460
"Your time starts when one of you
looks at another one of you."
550
00:27:38,500 --> 00:27:40,980
Don't look. Erm...
551
00:27:42,020 --> 00:27:47,940
'Right, I'm going to get some stuff. No, wait, Iain,
don't go yet. Don't go, cos I can see you. Look down.
552
00:27:47,980 --> 00:27:50,380
Both of you, look down.
Can we talk this through?
553
00:27:50,420 --> 00:27:52,660
I'm going to go
and shout through the door.
554
00:27:52,700 --> 00:27:55,100
We've got to look and move
as one, you bell-end.
555
00:27:55,140 --> 00:27:58,900
I know, but I am going to
make a plan. Listen. OK.
556
00:27:58,940 --> 00:28:00,220
Now we can talk. OK.
557
00:28:00,260 --> 00:28:04,860
When it says you've got to
look like one person... Mm.
558
00:28:04,900 --> 00:28:06,660
..does that have to be a human
person?
559
00:28:06,700 --> 00:28:09,460
Do you mean could it be
a duck person?
560
00:28:09,500 --> 00:28:12,660
So it could be an alien?
Is that a person? Yeah.
561
00:28:12,700 --> 00:28:15,140
Why don't two of us
leave the building,
562
00:28:15,180 --> 00:28:17,180
leaving one of us to look and move
like one person.
563
00:28:17,220 --> 00:28:20,300
No, because it does say on the
instructions, you have to...
564
00:28:20,340 --> 00:28:22,020
The task - it's called the task.
565
00:28:22,060 --> 00:28:24,500
Iain... Make yourselves
look like one person.
566
00:28:24,540 --> 00:28:27,540
So if we just walk like that.
Big gloves and wellies.
567
00:28:27,580 --> 00:28:30,860
That's good. Skis. Oh, you
looked at him. The time starts.
568
00:28:30,900 --> 00:28:32,860
I didn't look him
in the eye though. Ah...
569
00:28:32,900 --> 00:28:34,740
OK, right, we're up against it now.
570
00:28:34,780 --> 00:28:36,620
I'll go and get some bin bags.
571
00:28:36,660 --> 00:28:40,860
Wait, wait, Iain... Mm-hmm? Can you
get a coat and a cane? Uh-huh.
572
00:28:45,300 --> 00:28:48,780
It wasn't instant harmony within the
teams, was it, really?
573
00:28:48,820 --> 00:28:52,500
It's not a good start to
a team task - "Iain, you bell-end".
574
00:28:53,860 --> 00:28:56,860
Absolutely justified.
575
00:28:56,900 --> 00:29:01,820
You were very irritated with
Lou's use of certain words.
576
00:29:01,860 --> 00:29:03,180
"It's a task!"
577
00:29:04,420 --> 00:29:07,020
From a man that says
"choot-ney", that is...
578
00:29:08,500 --> 00:29:10,956
I was good at the bit where
you had to not look at other people.
579
00:29:10,980 --> 00:29:13,620
Yes, you were.
Even after Sian looked at me,
580
00:29:13,660 --> 00:29:15,020
I didn't look at her.
581
00:29:16,940 --> 00:29:20,780
Here is how all of them got on
in one film.
582
00:29:20,820 --> 00:29:22,940
Pop that on.
583
00:29:22,980 --> 00:29:25,540
Iain, did you ask for a big coat?
584
00:29:25,580 --> 00:29:28,060
No, we're doing bin bags.
585
00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:30,660
How are we going to win
points for bin bags?
586
00:29:30,700 --> 00:29:32,740
Just cover yourself in bin bags.
587
00:29:32,780 --> 00:29:34,620
So do we just staple that?
588
00:29:34,660 --> 00:29:36,740
I wonder if there's one of them
staplers?
589
00:29:36,780 --> 00:29:39,980
If you go and shout in the corridor,
someone may well bring one in.
590
00:29:40,020 --> 00:29:41,300
Staple gun?
591
00:29:43,020 --> 00:29:44,340
Staple gun.
592
00:29:44,380 --> 00:29:45,980
Has it worked?
593
00:29:46,020 --> 00:29:47,420
It's worked! OK.
594
00:29:47,460 --> 00:29:49,180
Don't look yet.
595
00:29:49,220 --> 00:29:51,780
I've started the clock.
OK. We've looked?
596
00:29:51,820 --> 00:29:54,220
Yes, you've looked. Paul!
597
00:29:54,260 --> 00:29:58,540
Scissors. Alex, do you remember me
telling you that I chipped my tooth?
598
00:29:58,580 --> 00:30:01,540
Yes. I chipped it again
the other week. Well done.
599
00:30:01,580 --> 00:30:03,740
Have you ever chipped a tooth, Joe?
600
00:30:03,780 --> 00:30:06,740
I did actually knock out this tooth
601
00:30:06,780 --> 00:30:09,580
mucking around on a ferry.
602
00:30:09,620 --> 00:30:11,740
Bryan? It was Bryan...!
603
00:30:11,780 --> 00:30:12,900
It was Bryan Ferry.
604
00:30:12,940 --> 00:30:14,980
I'm just going to put
a bin bag over your head.
605
00:30:15,020 --> 00:30:17,620
Can we do that, is that a bit
dangerous? Maybe cut a hole?
606
00:30:17,660 --> 00:30:19,620
I think probably cut a hole.
607
00:30:19,660 --> 00:30:20,860
Ha-ha!
608
00:30:22,180 --> 00:30:25,220
Come with me. Come with me.
Lou, you're down there.
609
00:30:25,260 --> 00:30:27,940
Paul, you need to get
in between Lou's legs.
610
00:30:27,980 --> 00:30:29,340
Face-down or face up?
611
00:30:29,380 --> 00:30:31,660
Face-up, probably,
for legal reasons.
612
00:30:31,700 --> 00:30:33,540
I've got a lovely dentist.
613
00:30:33,580 --> 00:30:35,540
Maybe you can give me
his details and I'll...
614
00:30:35,580 --> 00:30:38,100
Six minutes.
They do Botox now, dentists.
615
00:30:38,140 --> 00:30:40,140
Do they? Ohh.
616
00:30:41,460 --> 00:30:44,380
You need to lie me next to Paul
so I can be the legs.
617
00:30:44,420 --> 00:30:46,260
Can you breathe? Yeah.
618
00:30:54,260 --> 00:30:56,900
Right. You lead, Lou,
you're the brain.
619
00:30:56,940 --> 00:30:58,740
OK.
620
00:30:58,780 --> 00:31:01,420
Wow, I must get
my cardiovascular in.
621
00:31:01,460 --> 00:31:03,420
Here I go with my star jumps.
622
00:31:03,460 --> 00:31:04,820
Out, in.
623
00:31:04,860 --> 00:31:05,940
Out, in.
624
00:31:07,540 --> 00:31:09,780
Out, in.
625
00:31:09,820 --> 00:31:11,220
Out...
626
00:31:14,660 --> 00:31:16,380
Hello, Joe. Hi.
627
00:31:16,420 --> 00:31:17,900
You're walking very gingerly.
628
00:31:17,940 --> 00:31:19,620
Yeah, I was just feeling really...
629
00:31:21,900 --> 00:31:23,380
I've been a bit ill.
630
00:31:29,020 --> 00:31:31,100
Very different teamwork approaches.
631
00:31:31,140 --> 00:31:35,220
I mean, you had time for
a lovely chat about dentistry.
632
00:31:35,260 --> 00:31:38,620
Partly cos Sian couldn't find the
end of the tape for three minutes.
633
00:31:40,140 --> 00:31:42,580
Can I ask - was there any need at all
634
00:31:42,620 --> 00:31:45,220
for Paul to have his head
covered in a bin bag
635
00:31:45,260 --> 00:31:47,700
as he travelled
from house to outside?
636
00:31:49,500 --> 00:31:51,020
It did mean Paul didn't say a lot.
637
00:31:51,060 --> 00:31:52,700
This is the entirety of what
Paul said.
638
00:31:52,740 --> 00:31:54,140
"Just tell me what to do.
639
00:31:54,180 --> 00:31:55,420
"I need some help"
640
00:31:55,460 --> 00:31:58,900
and then, "Face-down or face-up?"
when he was lying in Lou's crotch.
641
00:32:01,180 --> 00:32:03,100
Do you want to have them
side by side -
642
00:32:03,140 --> 00:32:05,060
you can see which is
the most convincing.
643
00:32:07,260 --> 00:32:08,340
Joe and Sian.
644
00:32:12,300 --> 00:32:14,140
I am fascinated...
645
00:32:15,380 --> 00:32:18,940
..as to the purpose of
the pole that's across...
646
00:32:20,820 --> 00:32:24,860
..and I don't know how you can
argue you're moving together,
647
00:32:24,900 --> 00:32:29,100
when clearly Sian is just
behind you under a blanket.
648
00:32:29,140 --> 00:32:32,180
Yeah, I don't know.
The pole did start off being...
649
00:32:32,220 --> 00:32:34,100
It was a cape. It was a cape.
It was a cape.
650
00:32:34,140 --> 00:32:36,980
I think we were trying
to make a giant man
651
00:32:37,020 --> 00:32:39,380
and then Sian would
sort of be behind it.
652
00:32:39,420 --> 00:32:41,140
It's very dramatic, though.
653
00:32:41,180 --> 00:32:44,100
It is. I mean,
there's some poise to it.
654
00:32:44,140 --> 00:32:45,620
Theirs is a bit gross.
655
00:32:45,660 --> 00:32:48,220
There's something sort of
human-centipedey about it.
656
00:32:49,220 --> 00:32:50,660
I mean, even if you' squint,
657
00:32:50,700 --> 00:32:53,940
that's someone with
major medical problems.
658
00:32:53,980 --> 00:32:55,940
Six days before this filming,
659
00:32:55,980 --> 00:32:58,940
I had an operation on
a right frozen shoulder.
660
00:32:58,980 --> 00:33:02,300
I was told not to exercise it
in any way for two weeks.
661
00:33:02,340 --> 00:33:06,300
Can I say it was odd that you
agreed to be the arms of the man.
662
00:33:07,540 --> 00:33:10,740
I mean, that...
That's a freakish creation.
663
00:33:10,780 --> 00:33:15,140
The other one's more human
but, arguably, Sian is just hiding.
664
00:33:15,180 --> 00:33:18,620
But I do like
the majestic pole shoulders.
665
00:33:18,660 --> 00:33:22,780
OK. I do think that does
look more like one person.
666
00:33:22,820 --> 00:33:25,500
That's because it is one person.
667
00:33:27,540 --> 00:33:30,460
So I think it's fair to say
3 points to the team of three
668
00:33:30,500 --> 00:33:32,580
and 2 points to the team of two.
669
00:33:32,620 --> 00:33:34,900
The team of three get 3 points.
670
00:33:39,260 --> 00:33:40,860
Give me another task, naughty boy.
671
00:33:40,900 --> 00:33:43,660
Well, actually, this task
is not quite over, Greg.
672
00:33:43,700 --> 00:33:44,860
It's a two-parter?
673
00:33:44,900 --> 00:33:46,380
It is a two-parter.
674
00:33:46,420 --> 00:33:48,220
Ooh!
675
00:33:48,260 --> 00:33:50,780
Exciting. You'll have to come back
and join us in Part Four
676
00:33:50,820 --> 00:33:52,900
to find out what
the next part in this task is.
677
00:34:01,380 --> 00:34:03,060
APPLAUSE Hello!
678
00:34:03,100 --> 00:34:07,580
Welcome to the final part of
tonight's penultimate episode.
679
00:34:07,620 --> 00:34:09,580
Before the break,
we'd had one part of the task
680
00:34:09,620 --> 00:34:11,060
{\an1}but not the other part of the task.
681
00:34:11,100 --> 00:34:13,460
Yes. So far the teams have
been awarded points
682
00:34:13,500 --> 00:34:15,740
for making themselves
look like one person.
683
00:34:15,780 --> 00:34:18,180
Joe and Sian got 2 points,
Iain, Lou and Paul got 3.
684
00:34:18,220 --> 00:34:19,340
But little did they know
685
00:34:19,380 --> 00:34:21,340
there was another task
awaiting them.
686
00:34:21,380 --> 00:34:22,740
And here it is.
687
00:34:27,620 --> 00:34:28,700
Thank you.
688
00:34:28,740 --> 00:34:31,340
If you could open that task,
that'd be great.
689
00:34:33,580 --> 00:34:36,420
For you. This is also for you.
690
00:34:36,460 --> 00:34:38,540
Good luck.
691
00:34:38,580 --> 00:34:40,020
Thank you. Oh, shit. Erm...
692
00:34:40,060 --> 00:34:42,460
Oh, my God, is it another task?
693
00:34:43,940 --> 00:34:46,540
Just tell me what it says.
694
00:34:46,580 --> 00:34:49,020
Who are you talking to, Joe?
Oh, my back.
695
00:34:50,380 --> 00:34:54,900
OK. "Remaining..." Yeah. No, no, no.
Back round, back round, back round.
696
00:34:54,940 --> 00:34:58,060
Paul, no. Back round,
how you had it, yeah.
697
00:34:58,100 --> 00:35:00,300
"Remaining as
one person throughout..."
698
00:35:00,340 --> 00:35:03,780
"Remaining as one person
throughout", it says...
699
00:35:03,820 --> 00:35:07,540
"Put on these yellow Wellington
boots, eat this banana,
700
00:35:07,580 --> 00:35:10,100
"and put the banana skin
in the yellow bin over there."
701
00:35:10,140 --> 00:35:12,460
"Put on the Wellington boots,
eat the banana.
702
00:35:12,500 --> 00:35:14,260
"Put the banana skin in the bin."
703
00:35:14,300 --> 00:35:17,500
Fastest wins. Your time starts now.
OK, three things.
704
00:35:17,540 --> 00:35:20,700
Iain, you can put the Welly boots on.
705
00:35:20,740 --> 00:35:23,220
Where are they? Just one to
your left, one to your right.
706
00:35:23,260 --> 00:35:26,180
They're little, aren't they?
There we go.
707
00:35:26,220 --> 00:35:28,700
Come on. Feed me that banana, baby.
708
00:35:28,740 --> 00:35:30,940
I'll get the wellies on. Mm.
709
00:35:30,980 --> 00:35:33,156
Lou, you need to give me directions
to the Wellington boots!
710
00:35:33,180 --> 00:35:35,180
Let Lou finish the banana first.
711
00:35:35,220 --> 00:35:36,900
I don't know why I went for it!
712
00:35:38,300 --> 00:35:40,020
Just go nice and slow.
713
00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:44,100
I got it, I got it. OK.
714
00:35:44,140 --> 00:35:45,740
Iain, Iain - to the left.
715
00:35:45,780 --> 00:35:48,380
Maybe take your shoes off if you can.
716
00:35:48,420 --> 00:35:50,780
I've got it, I've got it!
Well done, mate.
717
00:35:51,820 --> 00:35:53,100
Oh...
718
00:35:53,140 --> 00:35:55,300
Fastest wins, Joe.
719
00:35:55,340 --> 00:35:57,900
They're not going to be
faster than this.
720
00:35:59,820 --> 00:36:02,380
There's something weird
moving above me. That's Paul.
721
00:36:02,420 --> 00:36:04,700
{\an8}You're meant to still
look like one person.
722
00:36:04,740 --> 00:36:06,420
{\an8}Shit, we threw the banana skin away.
723
00:36:06,460 --> 00:36:07,780
Why do we need the banana skin?
724
00:36:07,820 --> 00:36:09,380
Because we need to put it in the bin.
725
00:36:09,420 --> 00:36:11,100
{\an8}It was in the goddamn task!
Oh, shit.
726
00:36:11,140 --> 00:36:13,420
{\an8}OK, roll over there and
get the banana skin there.
727
00:36:13,460 --> 00:36:14,940
Let's go. That's it. Good lad.
728
00:36:14,980 --> 00:36:17,980
Keep in your...
Let's all roll to our fronts
729
00:36:18,020 --> 00:36:20,180
and then human-centipede our way...
730
00:36:20,220 --> 00:36:22,260
LOU LAUGHS Go! Go.
731
00:36:39,020 --> 00:36:41,260
Let's go.
Please remain as one person.
732
00:36:41,300 --> 00:36:43,900
What part of this
is not one person?!
733
00:36:48,700 --> 00:36:50,820
Paul, is that not
incredibly painful?
734
00:36:50,860 --> 00:36:54,020
OK. Unbelievably.
Paul, get on all fours.
735
00:37:04,380 --> 00:37:05,540
Thank you.
736
00:37:08,100 --> 00:37:09,860
And it's over to Paul.
737
00:37:09,900 --> 00:37:11,420
Is it in? Yeah!
738
00:37:11,460 --> 00:37:12,980
I've stopped the clock.
739
00:37:17,860 --> 00:37:21,940
I thought that Joe and Sian's
was really graceful,
740
00:37:21,980 --> 00:37:25,660
and it looked like
a religious ceremony.
741
00:37:25,700 --> 00:37:29,100
And even when you made the mistake,
you very gently picked the banana up
742
00:37:29,140 --> 00:37:32,380
and then looked at camera,
"Yes...
743
00:37:32,420 --> 00:37:38,860
"it's part of the way we do things,
here at Wooden Shoulder Mountain."
744
00:37:38,900 --> 00:37:42,300
That's what happens when you put
a cape on. That's right.
745
00:37:42,340 --> 00:37:46,700
I mean, the other team - it looked
like the end of the fucking world.
746
00:37:48,020 --> 00:37:50,500
It was carnage!
747
00:37:50,540 --> 00:37:52,460
Lou was trying to keep them
as one person.
748
00:37:52,500 --> 00:37:55,500
At one point, she shouted, "Get up
my arse and wriggle!" to Paul.
749
00:38:00,580 --> 00:38:01,980
Ha-ha!
750
00:38:02,020 --> 00:38:05,540
Well, it was fastest wins.
They took 5 minutes 43 seconds
751
00:38:05,580 --> 00:38:07,700
to travel eight metres,
752
00:38:07,740 --> 00:38:09,620
Sian and Joe,
3 minutes and 30 seconds.
753
00:38:09,660 --> 00:38:11,780
So not that much quicker,
but they were quicker.
754
00:38:11,820 --> 00:38:13,580
I would have given Sian and Joe less
755
00:38:13,620 --> 00:38:17,460
if it hadn't seemed like
a pre-planned religious ceremony.
756
00:38:17,500 --> 00:38:19,540
But it was so graceful
and pleasing to watch.
757
00:38:19,580 --> 00:38:22,060
If you saw that in a cathedral
in sort of Southern Spain,
758
00:38:22,100 --> 00:38:23,420
you'd think, "Bloody hell."
759
00:38:25,140 --> 00:38:28,140
But imagine if
you saw ours in a church.
760
00:38:28,180 --> 00:38:31,500
Sian and Joe, I'm giving 4 points,
761
00:38:31,540 --> 00:38:35,020
and the nightmarish vision
I'm giving 1 point each.
762
00:38:39,460 --> 00:38:41,260
Quick look at the scores,
then, I guess.
763
00:38:41,300 --> 00:38:43,540
OK. Well, for the first time
this series, I think,
764
00:38:43,580 --> 00:38:46,820
any one of the five could win
after the last task.
765
00:38:46,860 --> 00:38:49,780
Iain is currently
in the lead by one point. Way!
766
00:38:53,260 --> 00:38:54,580
Right, all to play for.
767
00:38:54,620 --> 00:38:57,140
It's time for you to please
head to the stage
768
00:38:57,180 --> 00:38:59,700
for the penultimate
Final Task of the show.
769
00:39:10,940 --> 00:39:14,500
Hello, everyone. Hi, Daddy.
Hi, Greg. Hello, Alex. Hi, Greg.
770
00:39:14,540 --> 00:39:16,940
And who's going to read the task out?
Iain Stirling, please.
771
00:39:19,140 --> 00:39:22,340
"Stack the most bowls and plates
on your head.
772
00:39:22,380 --> 00:39:25,140
"You must stack them one at a time.
773
00:39:25,180 --> 00:39:28,860
"Also, you must stand upright
when you stack.
774
00:39:28,900 --> 00:39:33,900
"Also, you may not touch a bowl
or plate that is already stacked.
775
00:39:33,940 --> 00:39:39,460
"Also, you must stack the bowls and
plates alternate... Alternately."
776
00:39:39,500 --> 00:39:41,020
Getting there.
777
00:39:41,060 --> 00:39:43,540
Turns out there's quite a few words
that are a problem for you.
778
00:39:45,060 --> 00:39:46,860
I've got a law degree.
779
00:39:48,300 --> 00:39:52,780
"Also, you must stay standing
at your spot throughout the task.
780
00:39:52,820 --> 00:39:56,660
"Most bowls and plates stacked
correctly after 100 seconds wins."
781
00:39:56,700 --> 00:39:57,940
So there are a few rules.
782
00:39:57,980 --> 00:40:01,660
We're looking for the most bowls and
plates stacked on your head
783
00:40:01,700 --> 00:40:04,620
at the end of the 30 plus
70 seconds - that's 100 seconds.
784
00:40:06,260 --> 00:40:07,980
So you have to bend down each time?
785
00:40:08,020 --> 00:40:10,540
And get an individual one
and then go back upright. Yeah.
786
00:40:10,580 --> 00:40:14,500
Yes. I understand. Does everyone
understand? Yes. Let's party.
787
00:40:14,540 --> 00:40:16,420
Good luck.
Your 100 seconds starts...
788
00:40:37,020 --> 00:40:38,660
Lovely.
789
00:40:46,420 --> 00:40:47,820
Measured.
790
00:40:53,380 --> 00:40:54,460
Ooh!
791
00:40:55,540 --> 00:40:57,220
Oh!
792
00:40:58,500 --> 00:40:59,860
Dammit!
793
00:41:11,580 --> 00:41:14,260
He's out. Are you staying put,
are you?
794
00:41:14,300 --> 00:41:15,500
He's sticking on that.
795
00:41:18,300 --> 00:41:19,700
How long left, Alex?
796
00:41:19,740 --> 00:41:20,940
25 seconds.
797
00:41:28,780 --> 00:41:30,460
Oh!
798
00:41:31,700 --> 00:41:32,980
Ten...
799
00:41:33,020 --> 00:41:36,660
Nine, eight,
seven, six, five, four...
800
00:41:36,700 --> 00:41:37,860
Quick, a bowl!
801
00:41:37,900 --> 00:41:40,300
Three, two, one.
802
00:41:44,420 --> 00:41:46,340
That's all right,
the whistle had gone.
803
00:41:46,380 --> 00:41:49,620
The whistle had gone when
mine came off, so it's OK.
804
00:41:49,660 --> 00:41:51,340
Erm, we'll work it all out.
805
00:41:51,380 --> 00:41:53,940
You come down and we'll add it
to the final scores of the show.
806
00:42:01,660 --> 00:42:04,580
Hello, sweetcheeks. All OK?
807
00:42:04,620 --> 00:42:06,580
Yes, thank you. Yes.
808
00:42:06,620 --> 00:42:09,020
It was quite a tense game
of Bowl Stack Plate Stack.
809
00:42:09,060 --> 00:42:12,660
Tensest game I've ever seen of
Bowl Stack Plate Stack.
810
00:42:12,700 --> 00:42:14,180
Yes, me too. Poor Sian.
811
00:42:14,220 --> 00:42:16,900
Was I the only one
who dropped them all?
812
00:42:16,940 --> 00:42:20,340
Yes. Oh. So, sadly, Sian stacked
zero plates or bowls,
813
00:42:20,380 --> 00:42:22,460
but gets 1 point for coming last.
814
00:42:22,500 --> 00:42:25,540
Joe, 2 points for getting
three bowls or plates.
815
00:42:25,580 --> 00:42:28,020
Iain gets 3 points.
Paul, 4 - a tremendous effort.
816
00:42:28,060 --> 00:42:29,740
But the winner of the task was Lou,
817
00:42:29,780 --> 00:42:34,100
with 5 points and six
plate-bowl-plate-bowl-plate-bowl.
818
00:42:35,820 --> 00:42:38,220
Good. Do you want to see
the scoreboard?
819
00:42:38,260 --> 00:42:40,020
I want to see the scoreboard.
820
00:42:40,060 --> 00:42:42,780
Yes. Well, it has affected it -
in this way...
821
00:42:42,820 --> 00:42:45,300
She has risen to the top with
20 points - Lou wins the episode.
822
00:42:47,620 --> 00:42:50,620
Lou Sanders is tonight's winner!
823
00:42:50,660 --> 00:42:53,180
Please go and get protected.
824
00:42:56,140 --> 00:42:59,340
So, what have we learned today?
825
00:42:59,380 --> 00:43:02,620
We've learned that as a species
it's about time we started being
826
00:43:02,660 --> 00:43:04,300
more responsible in our lives.
827
00:43:04,340 --> 00:43:06,580
So, the next time
you take out a rubbish bag,
828
00:43:06,620 --> 00:43:08,740
just pause for a second
and double-check,
829
00:43:08,780 --> 00:43:12,940
because you never know when there is
a wild Paul Sinha lurking inside.
830
00:43:12,980 --> 00:43:17,100
Let's all cheer again for
tonight's winner - Lou Sanders!
831
00:43:18,740 --> 00:43:20,940
It's the Final next.
832
00:43:20,980 --> 00:43:22,460
That's exciting.
833
00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:24,140
We'll see you there!