1 00:00:11,020 --> 00:00:12,340 Ooh! 2 00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:17,340 Argh! 3 00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:20,860 Ah! No! Wah! 4 00:00:33,340 --> 00:00:34,900 Hello! 5 00:00:34,940 --> 00:00:36,660 And welcome. 6 00:00:36,700 --> 00:00:38,980 I'm fine, thanks for asking. 7 00:00:39,020 --> 00:00:42,660 It's episode nine, which means it's the dying stages of competition, 8 00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:44,860 {\an3}and I'm dying to introduce you 9 00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:48,100 {\an3}to the people dying to win my gold-dyed face. 10 00:00:48,140 --> 00:00:52,380 So, please, give a mighty cheer for Iain Stirling... 11 00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:55,900 ..Joe Thomas... 12 00:00:55,940 --> 00:00:58,140 ..Lou Sanders... 13 00:00:58,180 --> 00:01:00,020 ..Paul Sinha... 14 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:03,300 ..and Sian Gibson! 15 00:01:03,340 --> 00:01:04,460 And he's here beside - 16 00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:07,220 I can tell because of the heavy breathing and the wet noises - 17 00:01:07,260 --> 00:01:09,340 it's little Alex Horne! 18 00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:15,420 It's good to be here. Cold, though, isn't it? 19 00:01:15,460 --> 00:01:16,940 Cold. Yeah, it is cold. 20 00:01:16,980 --> 00:01:20,260 And I'm not allowed to wear gloves, obviously, because of my iPad, 21 00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:24,820 but I've just discovered something called fingerless gloves, so... 22 00:01:24,860 --> 00:01:25,980 What...? 23 00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:29,180 They're edible, are they? 24 00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:30,500 What are you talking about? 25 00:01:30,540 --> 00:01:31,740 Are they edible fingers? 26 00:01:31,780 --> 00:01:33,140 Yes. 27 00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:34,540 You can eat your fingers, 28 00:01:34,580 --> 00:01:37,540 but I want you to act as if you're eating your real fingers. 29 00:01:42,740 --> 00:01:43,820 Argh! 30 00:01:45,740 --> 00:01:47,340 Argh! 31 00:01:48,380 --> 00:01:49,540 Argh! 32 00:01:50,940 --> 00:01:52,540 Argh! 33 00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:56,180 Right. Come on, then. What surprise category this time? 34 00:01:56,220 --> 00:01:57,460 Take your time. 35 00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:01,340 You swallow your fingers down, then we'll get on with the show. 36 00:02:01,380 --> 00:02:05,700 All gone. All gone, Daddy. I'll tell you right now. 37 00:02:05,740 --> 00:02:08,860 It's the best form of protection. 38 00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:10,060 OK? 39 00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:15,700 Greg will judge which is the best form of protection, 40 00:02:15,740 --> 00:02:18,060 handing out five points to the person that brought it in. 41 00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:20,260 The person with the most points at the end of the show 42 00:02:20,300 --> 00:02:22,460 will take all five forms of protection home 43 00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,220 and be especially safe and sound. 44 00:02:24,260 --> 00:02:27,260 Paul Sinha, what is your brilliant form of protection 45 00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:28,980 that you've brought with you? 46 00:02:29,020 --> 00:02:31,020 At the end of every series of The Chase, 47 00:02:31,060 --> 00:02:33,180 they used to give us a big luxury hamper, 48 00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:37,140 but one series they decided to give us this... 49 00:02:37,180 --> 00:02:38,340 There we go. 50 00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:43,420 There's only one of these in the world, 51 00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:45,180 because on the back of it, it says... 52 00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:49,420 The Sinnerman. 53 00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:51,300 Number one, it protects you from the cold. 54 00:02:51,340 --> 00:02:54,460 Number two, it protects you from getting high temperatures. 55 00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:57,140 Number three, it protects you from having children, 56 00:02:57,180 --> 00:02:59,300 because no-one will fuck you. 57 00:03:00,900 --> 00:03:03,860 I can't... Yeah. Would you? No, no, no, I wouldn't. 58 00:03:05,380 --> 00:03:08,380 That's awful. I imagine it protects you from forming friendships. 59 00:03:08,420 --> 00:03:11,780 It is one of the worst things I've ever seen, Paul. 60 00:03:11,820 --> 00:03:12,940 Sian? 61 00:03:12,980 --> 00:03:15,500 I've brought some sweaty eggs. 62 00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:17,260 Please be hen's eggs. 63 00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:20,420 They're not my eggs! LAUGHTER 64 00:03:20,460 --> 00:03:21,860 They don't seem very protected. 65 00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:24,020 Is it the Tupperware box I'm celebrating here? 66 00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:27,620 If you open that Tupperware... Yeah. ..on a train... Yeah. 67 00:03:27,660 --> 00:03:30,020 ..carriage to yourself - protected. 68 00:03:33,740 --> 00:03:37,140 You've brought a sandwich box full of smelly eggs. Smelly eggs. 69 00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:39,620 Nice to have established last place this early, isn't it? 70 00:03:39,660 --> 00:03:40,980 No! 71 00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:42,180 Joe. 72 00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:45,140 Best form of protection is a bunker, of course. 73 00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:46,220 Of course. 74 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,300 So this is access to a bunker, 75 00:03:48,340 --> 00:03:50,620 and that'll protect you against disasters, 76 00:03:50,660 --> 00:03:52,340 manmade or otherwise, and... 77 00:03:52,380 --> 00:03:53,660 Is the bunker the prize? 78 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,220 Access to the bunker. 79 00:03:55,260 --> 00:03:57,300 It's a voucher to visit a bunker. Yeah. Here it is. 80 00:03:58,660 --> 00:04:00,340 What a cool bunker as well, though. 81 00:04:00,380 --> 00:04:03,140 Yes, they do paintballing and Laser Quest in there. Yeah. 82 00:04:04,420 --> 00:04:07,420 I'd have to be near it in case there was a nuclear war. 83 00:04:07,460 --> 00:04:10,020 Well, yeah, I mean, just move near it. 84 00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:11,060 Uh, well... 85 00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:14,100 "Move near it..." Yeah. 86 00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:19,300 Oh, God. You've got me a ticket to a novelty bunker. Good. 87 00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:22,500 Iain? To protect yourself, you need to be like a warrior, 88 00:04:22,540 --> 00:04:25,380 so I got myself a sumo wrestler suit. 89 00:04:25,420 --> 00:04:27,100 There he is. 90 00:04:29,380 --> 00:04:30,780 Best form of protection. 91 00:04:30,820 --> 00:04:32,380 Unless you've got a pin. 92 00:04:32,420 --> 00:04:33,420 Yeah. 93 00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:37,900 I thought you'd have some questions, so I went on the website... 94 00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:41,020 Not really. But I've made a lot of judgments. 95 00:04:41,060 --> 00:04:42,780 I went on the website - 96 00:04:42,820 --> 00:04:44,740 "is it suitable for a five-year-old?" 97 00:04:44,780 --> 00:04:45,900 "Yes, if they're tall." 98 00:04:47,460 --> 00:04:49,340 "Why doesn't this fit in my hand luggage?" 99 00:04:49,380 --> 00:04:51,780 And they've written, "Have you tried deflating it?" 100 00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:54,860 Surprisingly comfortable. 101 00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:57,700 It comes complete with built-in nappy and sumo hair hat 102 00:04:57,740 --> 00:04:59,060 for extra authenticity. 103 00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:01,020 It's got a built-in nappy? 104 00:05:01,060 --> 00:05:03,460 Yes. To protect yourself from yourself. 105 00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:08,620 Right, Lou, I mean, can you better any of these? 106 00:05:08,660 --> 00:05:09,900 I suspect so. 107 00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:12,900 Mine is a coat of protection, so it's got... 108 00:05:12,940 --> 00:05:15,740 Let's have a look actually. Here is the coat of protection. 109 00:05:15,780 --> 00:05:18,660 OK. To glance at - rubbish. 110 00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:20,420 Hang on! Yeah, I am. 111 00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:22,260 Are you joking with me? 112 00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:25,980 Um, so, beekeeper's hat - protect against bees. 113 00:05:26,020 --> 00:05:28,420 A prayer protects against the Devil 114 00:05:28,460 --> 00:05:29,980 A cross - vampires. 115 00:05:30,020 --> 00:05:33,380 It's got washing-up gloves, to protect your hands. 116 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:37,380 And also the jacket is waterproof. 117 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,780 Jesus Christ. 118 00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,660 Yeah, I just want to say, 119 00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:43,740 Lou did tell me she wasn't putting a condom on there 120 00:05:43,780 --> 00:05:45,340 because she doesn't want to be tacky. 121 00:05:48,060 --> 00:05:49,300 Bear that in mind. 122 00:05:49,340 --> 00:05:51,980 Well, all right, then. Let's make some judgments. 123 00:05:52,020 --> 00:05:53,460 Shouldn't be too hard, should it? 124 00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:55,740 Smelly old eggs. 125 00:05:55,780 --> 00:05:57,900 3 points. OK, 3 points to Sian. 126 00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:01,620 Yeah. A voucher for a novelty bunker - 3 points. 127 00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:04,100 Iain's sumo suit - 4 points. 128 00:06:04,140 --> 00:06:07,060 Don't know why - just visually appealed to me. 129 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,060 4 points to Paul - I wouldn't go near him 130 00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:11,100 if he was wearing that horrible thing. 131 00:06:11,140 --> 00:06:14,340 And how can I deny being protected from so many things - 132 00:06:14,380 --> 00:06:16,100 5 points goes to Lou Sanders. 133 00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:22,580 Let's see a task. Yes. 134 00:06:22,620 --> 00:06:25,540 Do you fancy a bit of refuse and a bit of bouncing? 135 00:06:25,580 --> 00:06:26,580 I hope so! 136 00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:43,340 Hello, Iain. 137 00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:45,900 Yo. 138 00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:50,060 Ah. Hello, Lou. 139 00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:51,260 Hiya. 140 00:06:53,140 --> 00:06:54,740 OK. 141 00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:58,900 "Bounce one of these balls so that it lands in that bin." 142 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:01,060 That bin? That bin. 143 00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:03,020 "Bounce one of these balls" - 144 00:07:03,060 --> 00:07:06,460 so I can pick - "the most times so that it lands in that bin." 145 00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:08,060 "After propelling the ball, 146 00:07:08,100 --> 00:07:11,180 "you may not touch or strike it on its way to that bin." 147 00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:14,500 "Most bounces between propulsion and that bin wins." 148 00:07:14,540 --> 00:07:15,580 Nicely phrased. 149 00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:18,780 You must use the ball you touch first. 150 00:07:18,820 --> 00:07:21,980 Think you touched the yellow one. Oh! 151 00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:23,700 I don't know if I did. 152 00:07:23,740 --> 00:07:25,260 Probably did. 153 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:27,260 You have 20 minutes. 154 00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:29,380 Your time starts now. 155 00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:33,820 "Bounce one of these balls the most times so that it lands in that bin." 156 00:07:33,860 --> 00:07:37,180 Yeah. Can I move the bin? Yeah, did you read all of the task? 157 00:07:37,220 --> 00:07:40,660 Again? Well, there's one particular line that's relevant now. 158 00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:43,660 "After propelling the ball..." Not that one. 159 00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:47,260 Oh, Jesus. "..You must use the first ball you touch." 160 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,540 Yeah, you've gone for the rubber-band ball. 161 00:07:49,580 --> 00:07:51,340 Is that not the bounciest? 162 00:07:51,380 --> 00:07:52,540 You'll never know. 163 00:07:53,820 --> 00:07:56,140 So I've just got to bounce and get in? Yeah. 164 00:08:05,060 --> 00:08:08,340 So, both ladies made their decision very quickly, by accident. 165 00:08:08,380 --> 00:08:10,620 They were having a lovely stroke of a ball. 166 00:08:10,660 --> 00:08:13,660 Yes, the fingers made the decision rather than the brain. 167 00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:15,180 Let's see some stuff. OK. 168 00:08:15,220 --> 00:08:19,180 First to bounce, it's the natural sportsmen Paul and Joe. 169 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,780 I can't touch any of them without... It's like chess, isn't it? 170 00:08:27,060 --> 00:08:28,260 Ooft! 171 00:08:35,780 --> 00:08:37,740 Hard to know, isn't it? 172 00:08:37,780 --> 00:08:39,980 I wouldn't rush it. 173 00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:43,460 It's so hard. So hard. 174 00:08:47,580 --> 00:08:49,300 Which ball do you think is the bounciest? 175 00:08:49,340 --> 00:08:51,740 I've decided that I don't think it matters. 176 00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:53,620 I've got other things on my mind. 177 00:08:55,860 --> 00:08:57,780 I'll go with this one. 178 00:08:57,820 --> 00:09:00,900 Let me see how bouncy that is. That is not at all bouncy! 179 00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,220 Take the tennis ball. 180 00:09:04,780 --> 00:09:06,780 Right. Only got one registered. 181 00:09:08,220 --> 00:09:09,460 OK. 182 00:09:10,620 --> 00:09:11,860 OK. 183 00:09:14,740 --> 00:09:17,260 {\an8}Oh, come on, you dick! 184 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:28,980 Four. 185 00:09:30,860 --> 00:09:33,460 Oh, come on. Just... come on! 186 00:09:34,980 --> 00:09:36,180 Maybe that was a two. 187 00:09:38,380 --> 00:09:40,980 Eight. But not into the bin. 188 00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:42,140 It's stuck. 189 00:09:44,380 --> 00:09:47,260 Two. Yeah, two still. I think I've got a three in me. 190 00:09:48,540 --> 00:09:50,740 That's two again. A good two, though, I thought. 191 00:09:50,780 --> 00:09:52,500 That was a better two. 192 00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:55,700 Oh, a lot of bounces. 193 00:09:57,220 --> 00:09:58,500 How many do you think that was? 194 00:09:58,540 --> 00:09:59,980 I want to say four but... 195 00:10:01,380 --> 00:10:03,980 That's the furthest I've got it away from where I need it to be. 196 00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:08,140 Well done, Paul. HE PANTS 197 00:10:08,180 --> 00:10:09,780 You OK? Yeah, it was fun. 198 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,420 I've written two quotes down from you. 199 00:10:15,460 --> 00:10:17,100 "I had other things on my mind" - 200 00:10:17,140 --> 00:10:18,820 and I'm interested to know what they were. 201 00:10:18,860 --> 00:10:19,708 I've also written down, 202 00:10:19,732 --> 00:10:21,180 "It's like chess, isn't it?" 203 00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,500 long pause... 204 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,060 "Ooft!" 205 00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:27,620 What was on your mind? What was on my mind? 206 00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,420 I was wondering if I could remember 207 00:10:29,460 --> 00:10:31,340 what the 1984 Christmas number 1 was. 208 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:34,340 And then I remembered it was Band Aid, Do They Know It's Christmas? 209 00:10:34,380 --> 00:10:37,420 And then I moved on to the task. 210 00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:40,620 I'd argue it was Power Of Love by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. 211 00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:42,700 You'll argue wrong. 212 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,700 Joe, a better two. 213 00:10:45,740 --> 00:10:47,820 Yeah, well, it was a better two. It was a better two. 214 00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:49,740 And you always thought you had a three in you. 215 00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:51,700 I've always thought that. 216 00:10:51,740 --> 00:10:53,860 But in the end it turned out to be a four. 217 00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:55,780 It was four bounces. And I've Googled it, 218 00:10:55,820 --> 00:10:58,220 there's only three whole numbers lower than that - 219 00:10:58,260 --> 00:11:02,140 they're three, two and one, so it is quite a low score. 220 00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:05,180 Paul - nine complete bounces. 221 00:11:05,220 --> 00:11:07,020 Thank you. Lovely. 222 00:11:07,060 --> 00:11:08,860 So, not too bad - in the lead at the moment. 223 00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:10,740 APPLAUSE Ha! What's that sound? 224 00:11:10,780 --> 00:11:12,900 It's Part Two coming after the break. 225 00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,900 Hello! Welcome back to Taskmaster. 226 00:11:24,940 --> 00:11:27,740 What was happening before the break, little Alex Horne? 227 00:11:27,780 --> 00:11:30,300 Hi there, pleased to meet you all. I've got a new bicycle. 228 00:11:30,340 --> 00:11:31,980 The task in play is as follows. 229 00:11:32,020 --> 00:11:34,580 Bounce a ball the most times before it lands in the bin. 230 00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:36,420 And, in a video all by himself, 231 00:11:36,460 --> 00:11:38,740 it's a bouncy-bouncy Mr Iain Stirling. 232 00:11:45,820 --> 00:11:47,540 That didn't really help. 233 00:11:50,340 --> 00:11:52,500 See, that could be an issue, that. 234 00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:54,860 That's risky. 235 00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:57,660 Oh, now then! 236 00:11:58,700 --> 00:12:01,060 This could be winner-winner chicken dinner, this. 237 00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:04,420 Oh, no, it's going to be harder than I thought. 238 00:12:08,780 --> 00:12:10,020 Six? 239 00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:12,300 I made that six as well, yeah. 240 00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:13,940 Seven? No, six again. 241 00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:15,300 Can I use some of these pillows? 242 00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:18,700 That is perfect, gorgeous. 243 00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:24,980 This is interesting. Watch. 244 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,020 Three and a half minutes. 245 00:12:29,060 --> 00:12:30,620 That was loads. 246 00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:32,780 Is it in the bin? No, but it is... 247 00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:34,860 Where's the ball, Iain? 248 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:42,980 How many was that? Six. 249 00:12:43,020 --> 00:12:45,100 Six?! No, no, sorry, sorry. 250 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,500 How many have you put down? 36. 251 00:12:46,540 --> 00:12:48,380 Yeah, 36 - I'll take it. 252 00:12:48,420 --> 00:12:49,700 36, baby! 253 00:12:52,740 --> 00:12:56,740 I will do my best to ignore your cry of "baby" at the end. 254 00:12:56,780 --> 00:13:00,860 Throughout the competition, Iain has often been the person who's gone, 255 00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:03,620 "Right, I'm going in - let's fuckin' do this!" 256 00:13:03,660 --> 00:13:05,260 Yeah. Without a lot of thought. 257 00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:07,660 But that was great tactical thinking from the start. 258 00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,820 I found it remarkable that, out of the five, 259 00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:11,660 he's the only one who picked the ball 260 00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:13,420 whose main adjective is bouncy. Yeah. 261 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,060 Only one who picked the bouncy ball. 262 00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:17,740 I mean, the drainpipe system's a work of genius, isn't it? 263 00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:19,620 How many bounces were within the pipe? 264 00:13:19,660 --> 00:13:23,140 I think it was the same as my age used to be - 36. 265 00:13:23,180 --> 00:13:24,460 I think it was 36. 266 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,660 OK, only two people left - 267 00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:28,500 and we've grouped them together 268 00:13:28,540 --> 00:13:31,020 because it really helps to speed things up. 269 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,460 Here are Lou and Sian. 270 00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:37,700 Bounce it the most times. 271 00:13:37,740 --> 00:13:39,300 Can you just explain it, please, 272 00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,940 in layman's terms? 273 00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,020 Hold on a minute. 274 00:13:44,060 --> 00:13:45,420 You've got to propel a ball. Yeah. 275 00:13:45,460 --> 00:13:47,076 And it's going to end up in the bin. Yeah. 276 00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:50,340 'And I'm going to count how many times it bounces between you and the bin. 277 00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:52,060 Have you got any string, please? 278 00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:53,220 There's a shed. 279 00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:00,020 Oh, no! 280 00:14:00,060 --> 00:14:01,500 It's the grass. 281 00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:04,420 Have you thrown things before? 282 00:14:04,460 --> 00:14:05,500 OK. Ready? 283 00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:07,020 Yeah. 284 00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:09,300 Bounce, bounce... 285 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:14,380 I can't help thinking I've chosen the wrong method! 286 00:14:16,980 --> 00:14:19,060 That bounced about 12 times then. 287 00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:22,780 In school, they used to have, like, effort badges. 288 00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,940 Have you thought about that? 289 00:14:24,980 --> 00:14:26,540 You want an effort badge? Yeah. 290 00:14:32,860 --> 00:14:34,060 Oh, this is interesting. 291 00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:43,100 {\an8}Feels like it's easier with a net. It is easier with a net. 292 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,460 Imagine if I didn't get it in the bin now. 293 00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:50,060 Possibility. 294 00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:51,500 Propel. 295 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,660 Thanks, Lou. Thank you. 296 00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:01,580 What a system. Is it valid? 297 00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:05,940 Well, I mean, "to bounce" means to cause to move up or away 298 00:15:05,980 --> 00:15:07,900 after hitting a surface. 299 00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:11,580 I can't see a problem with them. Nor can I. Oh. 300 00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:13,060 I've got an issue. 301 00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:16,860 They, like, started it, like, over lots of times. 302 00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:18,500 If you use that definition, 303 00:15:18,540 --> 00:15:20,260 all the times I've bounced it, 304 00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:22,220 you can use all of them up until my go. No. 305 00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:25,660 The rule was you couldn't touch it between propelling it and the bin. 306 00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:27,420 That wasn't written on the card. 307 00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:29,860 It was exactly what you read out at the start. 308 00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:33,540 They didn't touch it between propelling and the bin. 309 00:15:33,580 --> 00:15:36,700 If anything - if I may interject, baby - 310 00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:39,700 I would suggest that the ladies used a bounce stabiliser. 311 00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:43,260 HE GASPS Wonderful. Yes, yes. 312 00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:46,660 Thank you. How many bounces did they get, big boy? 313 00:15:50,060 --> 00:15:52,180 Sian - 112 bounces. 314 00:15:52,220 --> 00:15:55,220 Which is 108 more than Joe. 315 00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:00,980 And Lou - who did her system for the full ten minutes - 316 00:16:01,020 --> 00:16:03,540 There were 225 that struck the ground. 317 00:16:03,580 --> 00:16:05,180 That's 221 more than joe. Yeah. 318 00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:09,100 Yeah, I'm afraid it's 1 point to Joe, 2 to Paul, 3 to Iain, 319 00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:11,780 4 to Sian, but 5 points to Lou Sanders. Baby! 320 00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:19,180 Can I have the scores, please? 321 00:16:19,220 --> 00:16:21,300 Yes, the series scores, first of all. 322 00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:22,780 Two people tied in second - 323 00:16:22,820 --> 00:16:24,460 Iain and Joe, on a 126. 324 00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:28,420 But she is stretching her lead - Lou's on 142 at the moment. 325 00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:33,460 In this particular episode, 326 00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:34,820 Joe is in last place, with 4, 327 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:36,660 and Lou Sanders is in the lead with 10. 328 00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:38,860 Wow. There we go. APPLAUSE 329 00:16:41,260 --> 00:16:43,300 Show me more, show me sweet little more. 330 00:16:43,340 --> 00:16:46,340 I will. And you're "dust" in time for this next one. 331 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,860 OK? 332 00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:03,620 Hello. 333 00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:06,340 Oh, hello, Lou. 334 00:17:06,380 --> 00:17:08,100 Guess what? Hello? 335 00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:09,180 Hi. 336 00:17:09,220 --> 00:17:11,700 Right, today, apparently, 337 00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:14,060 I've been saying "sangwich" wrong my whole life. 338 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,820 Sandwich? "Sangwich" I've been saying. No, it's "sandwich". 339 00:17:16,860 --> 00:17:18,980 Yeah, I found that out today. 340 00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:21,460 Do you want me to...? OK. 341 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,780 Oh. 342 00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:25,460 Dust. 343 00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,860 What's...? OK. That's interesting. 344 00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:32,540 'Devise the most delicious dust. 345 00:17:32,580 --> 00:17:35,420 You have five minutes to choose your ingredients. 346 00:17:35,460 --> 00:17:37,980 Then ten minutes to make your delicious dust. 347 00:17:38,020 --> 00:17:40,660 And serve it in this dust pan. 348 00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:41,820 Your time starts now. 349 00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:43,660 I definitely want glitter. 350 00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:46,220 I've decided that I'm going to go savoury. 351 00:17:46,260 --> 00:17:48,140 I don't think Greg gets to the size that he is 352 00:17:48,180 --> 00:17:50,500 by dealing with non-savoury products. 353 00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:57,060 "I don't think that Greg gets to be the size he is 354 00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:58,980 "by eating non-savoury products?" 355 00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:06,940 I have no idea why you're such a freak of nature, Greg. 356 00:18:06,980 --> 00:18:09,540 I have no idea whether it's diet or pituitary tumour - 357 00:18:09,580 --> 00:18:11,260 it could be a combination of both! 358 00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:16,820 Oh, I had no idea you were suggesting that I was tall because I was ill. 359 00:18:16,860 --> 00:18:20,460 I thought you were suggesting I was fat because I liked cheese! 360 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,140 Either way - thanks! 361 00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:25,660 Sian, obviously, first instinct - glitter. 362 00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:28,420 Yeah, you've tried to get glitter in every task. 363 00:18:28,460 --> 00:18:31,940 I've realised that it's embarrassing for a middle-aged lady 364 00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:34,900 to like glitter and princesses as much as I do! 365 00:18:34,940 --> 00:18:38,740 Do you want to see the glitter lady dust herself off with Paul Sinha? 366 00:18:38,780 --> 00:18:40,740 Erm... What?! 367 00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:43,500 ..let's have a look. OK. Here are Paul and Sian. 368 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:44,780 OK. 369 00:18:44,820 --> 00:18:46,220 That looks dusty. 370 00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:48,620 It's quite a big serving. It's going to be a big serving. 371 00:18:52,020 --> 00:18:53,580 Mm. 372 00:18:53,620 --> 00:18:54,820 Popping candy. 373 00:18:56,420 --> 00:18:58,140 How much are you planning to make? 374 00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,780 Well, Greg's a big lad. 375 00:18:59,820 --> 00:19:03,420 'He's not just got the demeanour of a king, he's the size of Henry VIII. 376 00:19:03,460 --> 00:19:05,300 {\an8}What can you tell me about Henry VIII? 377 00:19:05,340 --> 00:19:07,940 Henry VIII was a murderous misogynist 378 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,820 is, I think, the best way to describe him. 379 00:19:10,860 --> 00:19:14,420 {\an8}He's been transformed into a figure of respect 380 00:19:14,460 --> 00:19:16,660 by a patriarchal educational system 381 00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:18,820 that doesn't really care for the fate of wives. 382 00:19:18,860 --> 00:19:20,020 But other than that... 383 00:19:21,820 --> 00:19:23,700 Look at that for dust. 384 00:19:25,260 --> 00:19:26,620 Oh, don't hurt yourself. 385 00:19:26,660 --> 00:19:28,180 Oh, have you hurt yourself? 386 00:19:28,220 --> 00:19:29,860 Oh, no, you've grated yourself. 387 00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:31,420 Ooh, that looks horrible. 388 00:19:31,460 --> 00:19:33,220 Just... Maybe a rubber glove. 389 00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:34,740 Just worried about your fingers, 390 00:19:34,780 --> 00:19:37,180 because you're already bleeding out of one of them. 391 00:19:37,220 --> 00:19:38,460 Oh, yeah. 392 00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:43,220 Some glitter. Oh, God. 393 00:19:43,260 --> 00:19:46,020 I'll try and pick it up using the brush. 394 00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:51,900 Mmm, that's very nice. 395 00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:53,380 Here we go. 396 00:19:59,140 --> 00:20:01,220 Phwoar! 397 00:20:01,260 --> 00:20:02,820 Let me try. You don't... 398 00:20:05,940 --> 00:20:07,380 Goes for your throat, doesn't it? 399 00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:09,140 The popping happens afterwards. 400 00:20:12,940 --> 00:20:14,220 Right, well, thank you. 401 00:20:14,260 --> 00:20:16,220 Enjoy! Will do. 402 00:20:21,940 --> 00:20:24,540 Right, well, I'm going to have to take your lead on this 403 00:20:24,580 --> 00:20:25,620 to some degree. 404 00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:29,060 I mean, was the flavour improved by both contestants' blood? 405 00:20:30,140 --> 00:20:33,060 You've got mine and Paul's DNA inside you. 406 00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:39,940 They were both either ends of the sweet-and-savoury scale. 407 00:20:39,980 --> 00:20:41,940 They were quite nice, I suppose. 408 00:20:41,980 --> 00:20:44,260 Could I argue that most of Sian's dust - 409 00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:47,580 maybe the work was done for her by sweet manufacturers? 410 00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:50,540 I did grate my own chocolate. And yours was grated cheese? 411 00:20:50,580 --> 00:20:53,740 Yeah, I just wanted to go for delicious parmesan and pancetta. 412 00:20:53,780 --> 00:20:57,196 'Let's allow them both as dust. Now, you tell me which was the most delicious of the two. 413 00:20:57,220 --> 00:20:59,180 I really like Paul's. 414 00:20:59,220 --> 00:21:01,020 Sorry. I just preferred it. 415 00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:03,940 Fourth place! Get in. 416 00:21:03,980 --> 00:21:05,900 That's fine. 417 00:21:05,940 --> 00:21:08,740 OK, time for the adverts to do their thing. 418 00:21:08,780 --> 00:21:12,460 See you again soon for the beginning of the second half of the show. 419 00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:13,940 Yes? Please? Please! 420 00:21:23,980 --> 00:21:26,180 Hello, everybody. Thanks for coming back. 421 00:21:26,220 --> 00:21:28,180 Now, sit and listen to my little assistant 422 00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:32,260 tell you about what's been going on - all the time whilst licking his lips. 423 00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:36,500 Before the break, 424 00:21:36,540 --> 00:21:39,140 they were trying to make the tastiest dust - 425 00:21:39,180 --> 00:21:40,380 and they still are. 426 00:21:40,420 --> 00:21:44,580 Next up, presenting the vegan dust option, it's Lou Sanders. 427 00:21:45,780 --> 00:21:47,620 I'm just making some dust, yeah? 428 00:21:47,660 --> 00:21:50,740 The most delicious dust, yes. Enemy. An enemy of Greg's. 429 00:21:50,780 --> 00:21:52,500 That would be delicious for him. 430 00:21:52,540 --> 00:21:55,580 Who are his big enemies... His main three enemies that are dead? 431 00:21:55,620 --> 00:21:57,620 That are dead... 432 00:21:57,660 --> 00:21:59,300 OK, so racism - 433 00:21:59,340 --> 00:22:00,940 nobody likes racism. 434 00:22:00,980 --> 00:22:04,660 So maybe we have something that typifies racism 435 00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:07,220 and we burn it... 436 00:22:07,260 --> 00:22:08,660 and then we eat the dust. 437 00:22:08,700 --> 00:22:12,940 Good... Let's keep it light, actually. 438 00:22:12,980 --> 00:22:16,180 Or a razz mag. You know, the sexist ones. 439 00:22:16,220 --> 00:22:19,580 Well, it's porn but it's not done in a tasteful way. 440 00:22:19,620 --> 00:22:22,980 We burn it and then we top it off with Fizz Wiz. 441 00:22:23,020 --> 00:22:24,460 What is Fizz Wiz? 442 00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:25,740 It's a popping candy. 443 00:22:29,700 --> 00:22:31,420 Disgusting! 444 00:22:33,180 --> 00:22:35,900 Something naughty, something nice - here we go. 445 00:22:38,380 --> 00:22:40,420 How would you suggest I eat this? 446 00:22:40,460 --> 00:22:42,460 Tongue in the bowl. 447 00:22:42,500 --> 00:22:44,300 Just tongue in the bowl? Yes. 448 00:22:44,340 --> 00:22:45,380 Yes. 449 00:22:45,420 --> 00:22:47,340 Jolly along. 450 00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:52,180 Delicious? 451 00:22:52,220 --> 00:22:53,740 It's... It doesn't feel nice 452 00:22:53,780 --> 00:22:56,140 because you're eating it out of a bloody pan, 453 00:22:56,180 --> 00:22:57,540 but that's are not my rules. 454 00:22:57,580 --> 00:22:59,060 I don't like the black bits. 455 00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:00,740 I flambeed the bowl! 456 00:23:03,740 --> 00:23:06,860 Uh... razz mag? I called them jazz mags when I was a young man. 457 00:23:06,900 --> 00:23:08,460 Yeah, you can call them jazz mags. 458 00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:10,180 Jazz or razz? Clunge. 459 00:23:12,260 --> 00:23:16,620 Nice. Nice to combine popping candy with a powerful statement. 460 00:23:16,660 --> 00:23:20,660 Mm. Lovely. It's like she was burning the objectification of women 461 00:23:20,700 --> 00:23:23,180 and then getting you to consume it. 462 00:23:23,220 --> 00:23:24,740 But was it delicious? 463 00:23:24,780 --> 00:23:27,780 No, it wasn't. I've eaten a lot of things on this programme 464 00:23:27,820 --> 00:23:30,100 and this was probably the worst thing I've ever eaten. 465 00:23:30,140 --> 00:23:33,140 The popping candy was lovely, but it had a lot of burn porn. 466 00:23:35,540 --> 00:23:38,580 Next up, we've got two guys. Let's call them Joe, 467 00:23:38,620 --> 00:23:40,900 and let's call the other one Iain! 468 00:23:44,940 --> 00:23:46,500 Going to take out some of the lumps. 469 00:23:46,540 --> 00:23:48,060 Dust! 470 00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:50,780 Just the one Babybel. 471 00:23:50,820 --> 00:23:52,420 Dust! 472 00:23:52,460 --> 00:23:53,740 Dust the "chootney". 473 00:23:53,780 --> 00:23:56,260 The "chootney" is just to make it look nice, yeah? 474 00:23:56,300 --> 00:23:59,300 I feel bad, scraping bits of pork fat off my hands 475 00:23:59,340 --> 00:24:00,940 and then asking you to eat it. 476 00:24:00,980 --> 00:24:03,580 That's not really dust, is it? 477 00:24:03,620 --> 00:24:05,060 What's that, just...? Salt. 478 00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:07,700 How much salt are you putting on to it? Fair amount. 479 00:24:07,740 --> 00:24:09,220 So this is cracker dust, 480 00:24:09,260 --> 00:24:12,500 and with your crackers, you've got cheese, Babybel dust... Mm-hmm. 481 00:24:12,540 --> 00:24:14,300 ..stilton dust... Mm-hmm. 482 00:24:14,340 --> 00:24:15,700 ..cheddar dust. 483 00:24:15,740 --> 00:24:18,980 Um, we have crispy pork skin 484 00:24:19,020 --> 00:24:21,340 with some chicken reduction. 485 00:24:21,380 --> 00:24:24,780 And then, to follow, we have a violet sherbet 486 00:24:24,820 --> 00:24:26,300 with a bit of honeycomb. 487 00:24:27,940 --> 00:24:32,260 'How was that? What's odd about it is that the cracker's normally crunchy, and it's not crunchy. 488 00:24:32,300 --> 00:24:34,580 No it'll go gloopy, won't it? 489 00:24:35,860 --> 00:24:38,220 What do we think? That is salty. 490 00:24:38,260 --> 00:24:40,740 It's salty. OK. Ooh. In a good way? 491 00:24:40,780 --> 00:24:42,900 No. In a... 492 00:24:42,940 --> 00:24:45,420 Ugh! JOE LAUGHS 493 00:24:45,460 --> 00:24:47,980 You could actually use this as a straw. 494 00:24:51,180 --> 00:24:52,220 It's good. 495 00:24:52,260 --> 00:24:53,620 Does it work? 496 00:24:55,740 --> 00:24:58,220 That's the driest thing that's ever happened. 497 00:24:58,260 --> 00:25:00,820 Yeah, so this is pudding. OK. 498 00:25:00,860 --> 00:25:02,140 Attaboy. 499 00:25:03,660 --> 00:25:05,860 How's that? That's lovely. 500 00:25:05,900 --> 00:25:07,620 That's good? Mm, that is nice. 501 00:25:07,660 --> 00:25:09,780 Well, nice to spend the time with you, Alex. 502 00:25:16,780 --> 00:25:19,980 Joe seemed like a professional waiter. 503 00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:22,700 Yeah. Posher than a waiter. Head waiter. 504 00:25:22,740 --> 00:25:25,340 Small servings, but beautifully presented. 505 00:25:25,380 --> 00:25:27,900 Mmm. And we sat down next to each other, didn't we? We did. 506 00:25:27,940 --> 00:25:30,700 You always sit next to the waiter in a restaurant. 507 00:25:30,740 --> 00:25:32,420 And the waiter watches you. Yeah. 508 00:25:32,460 --> 00:25:35,860 And when you leave at the end, the waiter's emotionally crushed. 509 00:25:37,460 --> 00:25:39,860 Well, the main course was over-salty. We saw that. 510 00:25:39,900 --> 00:25:42,940 Yeah, yeah, it was. Because it was mainly... Mainly salt. 511 00:25:42,980 --> 00:25:47,340 But then set off by the dessert, which was delicious. 512 00:25:47,380 --> 00:25:49,380 That was made of Parma Violets. 513 00:25:49,420 --> 00:25:52,900 Yes, it was. And there was so little burnt porn in it. 514 00:25:54,340 --> 00:25:58,260 Right. Iain, I know that you've dealt with "sangwich", 515 00:25:58,300 --> 00:26:00,340 but we should probably talk about "choot-ney". 516 00:26:00,380 --> 00:26:01,580 "Choot-ney". 517 00:26:03,340 --> 00:26:06,620 I have learned more about myself on this show than I would have liked. 518 00:26:06,660 --> 00:26:12,540 Were his multiple dusts nice, though, with the "chootney" alongside them? 519 00:26:12,580 --> 00:26:14,980 They were ambitious, definitely, it was a full... 520 00:26:15,020 --> 00:26:17,700 Well, at one point you started snorting feta, 521 00:26:17,740 --> 00:26:19,260 as far as I could work out. 522 00:26:19,300 --> 00:26:21,220 Chopping up lines of cheese. 523 00:26:22,420 --> 00:26:25,620 It was good. It was good. We had a nice time. It was tasty. 524 00:26:25,660 --> 00:26:27,900 Nice time for two nice guys, would you say? 525 00:26:27,940 --> 00:26:30,500 Yes, it was a smorgasbord of dust. Do you want to score them? 526 00:26:30,540 --> 00:26:33,500 I really want you to score them, because I didn't eat them. 527 00:26:33,540 --> 00:26:36,820 I enjoyed Lou's concept but didn't enjoy the test, I have to be honest. 528 00:26:36,860 --> 00:26:38,740 1 point to Lou. OK. 529 00:26:38,780 --> 00:26:41,541 Two points to the next. Well, Sian's and Paul's were both very basic - 530 00:26:41,580 --> 00:26:43,060 very savoury, very sweet. 531 00:26:43,100 --> 00:26:44,700 Yes. Joe's was the second-best. 532 00:26:44,740 --> 00:26:46,740 I would say Iain's was tremendous dust. 533 00:26:46,780 --> 00:26:50,340 We go 2 points to Sian, 3 points to Paul, 534 00:26:50,380 --> 00:26:52,620 4 points to Joe and 5 points to Iain. 535 00:26:52,660 --> 00:26:56,020 Bang. There we go. Got it. 536 00:26:56,060 --> 00:26:57,380 Give me more. 537 00:26:57,420 --> 00:26:58,900 OK, it's a team task now, 538 00:26:58,940 --> 00:27:01,620 and it's a Taskmaster Bonding Exercise. 539 00:27:01,660 --> 00:27:02,820 Ah. 540 00:27:13,620 --> 00:27:14,700 Hello. Hello, Joe. 541 00:27:14,740 --> 00:27:16,660 Hiya. Hello, Sian. Hiya. 542 00:27:18,180 --> 00:27:19,820 Hello, Iain. 543 00:27:19,860 --> 00:27:22,060 You all right? Hello, Paul. Hi, Alex. 544 00:27:22,100 --> 00:27:23,780 Hello, Lou. Cooee. 545 00:27:23,820 --> 00:27:25,020 Right. 546 00:27:26,300 --> 00:27:28,700 "Make yourselves look like one person." 547 00:27:28,740 --> 00:27:32,380 "The team that looks and moves most like one person wins. 548 00:27:32,420 --> 00:27:34,060 "You have 20 minutes." 549 00:27:34,100 --> 00:27:38,460 "Your time starts when one of you looks at another one of you." 550 00:27:38,500 --> 00:27:40,980 Don't look. Erm... 551 00:27:42,020 --> 00:27:47,940 'Right, I'm going to get some stuff. No, wait, Iain, don't go yet. Don't go, cos I can see you. Look down. 552 00:27:47,980 --> 00:27:50,380 Both of you, look down. Can we talk this through? 553 00:27:50,420 --> 00:27:52,660 I'm going to go and shout through the door. 554 00:27:52,700 --> 00:27:55,100 We've got to look and move as one, you bell-end. 555 00:27:55,140 --> 00:27:58,900 I know, but I am going to make a plan. Listen. OK. 556 00:27:58,940 --> 00:28:00,220 Now we can talk. OK. 557 00:28:00,260 --> 00:28:04,860 When it says you've got to look like one person... Mm. 558 00:28:04,900 --> 00:28:06,660 ..does that have to be a human person? 559 00:28:06,700 --> 00:28:09,460 Do you mean could it be a duck person? 560 00:28:09,500 --> 00:28:12,660 So it could be an alien? Is that a person? Yeah. 561 00:28:12,700 --> 00:28:15,140 Why don't two of us leave the building, 562 00:28:15,180 --> 00:28:17,180 leaving one of us to look and move like one person. 563 00:28:17,220 --> 00:28:20,300 No, because it does say on the instructions, you have to... 564 00:28:20,340 --> 00:28:22,020 The task - it's called the task. 565 00:28:22,060 --> 00:28:24,500 Iain... Make yourselves look like one person. 566 00:28:24,540 --> 00:28:27,540 So if we just walk like that. Big gloves and wellies. 567 00:28:27,580 --> 00:28:30,860 That's good. Skis. Oh, you looked at him. The time starts. 568 00:28:30,900 --> 00:28:32,860 I didn't look him in the eye though. Ah... 569 00:28:32,900 --> 00:28:34,740 OK, right, we're up against it now. 570 00:28:34,780 --> 00:28:36,620 I'll go and get some bin bags. 571 00:28:36,660 --> 00:28:40,860 Wait, wait, Iain... Mm-hmm? Can you get a coat and a cane? Uh-huh. 572 00:28:45,300 --> 00:28:48,780 It wasn't instant harmony within the teams, was it, really? 573 00:28:48,820 --> 00:28:52,500 It's not a good start to a team task - "Iain, you bell-end". 574 00:28:53,860 --> 00:28:56,860 Absolutely justified. 575 00:28:56,900 --> 00:29:01,820 You were very irritated with Lou's use of certain words. 576 00:29:01,860 --> 00:29:03,180 "It's a task!" 577 00:29:04,420 --> 00:29:07,020 From a man that says "choot-ney", that is... 578 00:29:08,500 --> 00:29:10,956 I was good at the bit where you had to not look at other people. 579 00:29:10,980 --> 00:29:13,620 Yes, you were. Even after Sian looked at me, 580 00:29:13,660 --> 00:29:15,020 I didn't look at her. 581 00:29:16,940 --> 00:29:20,780 Here is how all of them got on in one film. 582 00:29:20,820 --> 00:29:22,940 Pop that on. 583 00:29:22,980 --> 00:29:25,540 Iain, did you ask for a big coat? 584 00:29:25,580 --> 00:29:28,060 No, we're doing bin bags. 585 00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:30,660 How are we going to win points for bin bags? 586 00:29:30,700 --> 00:29:32,740 Just cover yourself in bin bags. 587 00:29:32,780 --> 00:29:34,620 So do we just staple that? 588 00:29:34,660 --> 00:29:36,740 I wonder if there's one of them staplers? 589 00:29:36,780 --> 00:29:39,980 If you go and shout in the corridor, someone may well bring one in. 590 00:29:40,020 --> 00:29:41,300 Staple gun? 591 00:29:43,020 --> 00:29:44,340 Staple gun. 592 00:29:44,380 --> 00:29:45,980 Has it worked? 593 00:29:46,020 --> 00:29:47,420 It's worked! OK. 594 00:29:47,460 --> 00:29:49,180 Don't look yet. 595 00:29:49,220 --> 00:29:51,780 I've started the clock. OK. We've looked? 596 00:29:51,820 --> 00:29:54,220 Yes, you've looked. Paul! 597 00:29:54,260 --> 00:29:58,540 Scissors. Alex, do you remember me telling you that I chipped my tooth? 598 00:29:58,580 --> 00:30:01,540 Yes. I chipped it again the other week. Well done. 599 00:30:01,580 --> 00:30:03,740 Have you ever chipped a tooth, Joe? 600 00:30:03,780 --> 00:30:06,740 I did actually knock out this tooth 601 00:30:06,780 --> 00:30:09,580 mucking around on a ferry. 602 00:30:09,620 --> 00:30:11,740 Bryan? It was Bryan...! 603 00:30:11,780 --> 00:30:12,900 It was Bryan Ferry. 604 00:30:12,940 --> 00:30:14,980 I'm just going to put a bin bag over your head. 605 00:30:15,020 --> 00:30:17,620 Can we do that, is that a bit dangerous? Maybe cut a hole? 606 00:30:17,660 --> 00:30:19,620 I think probably cut a hole. 607 00:30:19,660 --> 00:30:20,860 Ha-ha! 608 00:30:22,180 --> 00:30:25,220 Come with me. Come with me. Lou, you're down there. 609 00:30:25,260 --> 00:30:27,940 Paul, you need to get in between Lou's legs. 610 00:30:27,980 --> 00:30:29,340 Face-down or face up? 611 00:30:29,380 --> 00:30:31,660 Face-up, probably, for legal reasons. 612 00:30:31,700 --> 00:30:33,540 I've got a lovely dentist. 613 00:30:33,580 --> 00:30:35,540 Maybe you can give me his details and I'll... 614 00:30:35,580 --> 00:30:38,100 Six minutes. They do Botox now, dentists. 615 00:30:38,140 --> 00:30:40,140 Do they? Ohh. 616 00:30:41,460 --> 00:30:44,380 You need to lie me next to Paul so I can be the legs. 617 00:30:44,420 --> 00:30:46,260 Can you breathe? Yeah. 618 00:30:54,260 --> 00:30:56,900 Right. You lead, Lou, you're the brain. 619 00:30:56,940 --> 00:30:58,740 OK. 620 00:30:58,780 --> 00:31:01,420 Wow, I must get my cardiovascular in. 621 00:31:01,460 --> 00:31:03,420 Here I go with my star jumps. 622 00:31:03,460 --> 00:31:04,820 Out, in. 623 00:31:04,860 --> 00:31:05,940 Out, in. 624 00:31:07,540 --> 00:31:09,780 Out, in. 625 00:31:09,820 --> 00:31:11,220 Out... 626 00:31:14,660 --> 00:31:16,380 Hello, Joe. Hi. 627 00:31:16,420 --> 00:31:17,900 You're walking very gingerly. 628 00:31:17,940 --> 00:31:19,620 Yeah, I was just feeling really... 629 00:31:21,900 --> 00:31:23,380 I've been a bit ill. 630 00:31:29,020 --> 00:31:31,100 Very different teamwork approaches. 631 00:31:31,140 --> 00:31:35,220 I mean, you had time for a lovely chat about dentistry. 632 00:31:35,260 --> 00:31:38,620 Partly cos Sian couldn't find the end of the tape for three minutes. 633 00:31:40,140 --> 00:31:42,580 Can I ask - was there any need at all 634 00:31:42,620 --> 00:31:45,220 for Paul to have his head covered in a bin bag 635 00:31:45,260 --> 00:31:47,700 as he travelled from house to outside? 636 00:31:49,500 --> 00:31:51,020 It did mean Paul didn't say a lot. 637 00:31:51,060 --> 00:31:52,700 This is the entirety of what Paul said. 638 00:31:52,740 --> 00:31:54,140 "Just tell me what to do. 639 00:31:54,180 --> 00:31:55,420 "I need some help" 640 00:31:55,460 --> 00:31:58,900 and then, "Face-down or face-up?" when he was lying in Lou's crotch. 641 00:32:01,180 --> 00:32:03,100 Do you want to have them side by side - 642 00:32:03,140 --> 00:32:05,060 you can see which is the most convincing. 643 00:32:07,260 --> 00:32:08,340 Joe and Sian. 644 00:32:12,300 --> 00:32:14,140 I am fascinated... 645 00:32:15,380 --> 00:32:18,940 ..as to the purpose of the pole that's across... 646 00:32:20,820 --> 00:32:24,860 ..and I don't know how you can argue you're moving together, 647 00:32:24,900 --> 00:32:29,100 when clearly Sian is just behind you under a blanket. 648 00:32:29,140 --> 00:32:32,180 Yeah, I don't know. The pole did start off being... 649 00:32:32,220 --> 00:32:34,100 It was a cape. It was a cape. It was a cape. 650 00:32:34,140 --> 00:32:36,980 I think we were trying to make a giant man 651 00:32:37,020 --> 00:32:39,380 and then Sian would sort of be behind it. 652 00:32:39,420 --> 00:32:41,140 It's very dramatic, though. 653 00:32:41,180 --> 00:32:44,100 It is. I mean, there's some poise to it. 654 00:32:44,140 --> 00:32:45,620 Theirs is a bit gross. 655 00:32:45,660 --> 00:32:48,220 There's something sort of human-centipedey about it. 656 00:32:49,220 --> 00:32:50,660 I mean, even if you' squint, 657 00:32:50,700 --> 00:32:53,940 that's someone with major medical problems. 658 00:32:53,980 --> 00:32:55,940 Six days before this filming, 659 00:32:55,980 --> 00:32:58,940 I had an operation on a right frozen shoulder. 660 00:32:58,980 --> 00:33:02,300 I was told not to exercise it in any way for two weeks. 661 00:33:02,340 --> 00:33:06,300 Can I say it was odd that you agreed to be the arms of the man. 662 00:33:07,540 --> 00:33:10,740 I mean, that... That's a freakish creation. 663 00:33:10,780 --> 00:33:15,140 The other one's more human but, arguably, Sian is just hiding. 664 00:33:15,180 --> 00:33:18,620 But I do like the majestic pole shoulders. 665 00:33:18,660 --> 00:33:22,780 OK. I do think that does look more like one person. 666 00:33:22,820 --> 00:33:25,500 That's because it is one person. 667 00:33:27,540 --> 00:33:30,460 So I think it's fair to say 3 points to the team of three 668 00:33:30,500 --> 00:33:32,580 and 2 points to the team of two. 669 00:33:32,620 --> 00:33:34,900 The team of three get 3 points. 670 00:33:39,260 --> 00:33:40,860 Give me another task, naughty boy. 671 00:33:40,900 --> 00:33:43,660 Well, actually, this task is not quite over, Greg. 672 00:33:43,700 --> 00:33:44,860 It's a two-parter? 673 00:33:44,900 --> 00:33:46,380 It is a two-parter. 674 00:33:46,420 --> 00:33:48,220 Ooh! 675 00:33:48,260 --> 00:33:50,780 Exciting. You'll have to come back and join us in Part Four 676 00:33:50,820 --> 00:33:52,900 to find out what the next part in this task is. 677 00:34:01,380 --> 00:34:03,060 APPLAUSE Hello! 678 00:34:03,100 --> 00:34:07,580 Welcome to the final part of tonight's penultimate episode. 679 00:34:07,620 --> 00:34:09,580 Before the break, we'd had one part of the task 680 00:34:09,620 --> 00:34:11,060 {\an1}but not the other part of the task. 681 00:34:11,100 --> 00:34:13,460 Yes. So far the teams have been awarded points 682 00:34:13,500 --> 00:34:15,740 for making themselves look like one person. 683 00:34:15,780 --> 00:34:18,180 Joe and Sian got 2 points, Iain, Lou and Paul got 3. 684 00:34:18,220 --> 00:34:19,340 But little did they know 685 00:34:19,380 --> 00:34:21,340 there was another task awaiting them. 686 00:34:21,380 --> 00:34:22,740 And here it is. 687 00:34:27,620 --> 00:34:28,700 Thank you. 688 00:34:28,740 --> 00:34:31,340 If you could open that task, that'd be great. 689 00:34:33,580 --> 00:34:36,420 For you. This is also for you. 690 00:34:36,460 --> 00:34:38,540 Good luck. 691 00:34:38,580 --> 00:34:40,020 Thank you. Oh, shit. Erm... 692 00:34:40,060 --> 00:34:42,460 Oh, my God, is it another task? 693 00:34:43,940 --> 00:34:46,540 Just tell me what it says. 694 00:34:46,580 --> 00:34:49,020 Who are you talking to, Joe? Oh, my back. 695 00:34:50,380 --> 00:34:54,900 OK. "Remaining..." Yeah. No, no, no. Back round, back round, back round. 696 00:34:54,940 --> 00:34:58,060 Paul, no. Back round, how you had it, yeah. 697 00:34:58,100 --> 00:35:00,300 "Remaining as one person throughout..." 698 00:35:00,340 --> 00:35:03,780 "Remaining as one person throughout", it says... 699 00:35:03,820 --> 00:35:07,540 "Put on these yellow Wellington boots, eat this banana, 700 00:35:07,580 --> 00:35:10,100 "and put the banana skin in the yellow bin over there." 701 00:35:10,140 --> 00:35:12,460 "Put on the Wellington boots, eat the banana. 702 00:35:12,500 --> 00:35:14,260 "Put the banana skin in the bin." 703 00:35:14,300 --> 00:35:17,500 Fastest wins. Your time starts now. OK, three things. 704 00:35:17,540 --> 00:35:20,700 Iain, you can put the Welly boots on. 705 00:35:20,740 --> 00:35:23,220 Where are they? Just one to your left, one to your right. 706 00:35:23,260 --> 00:35:26,180 They're little, aren't they? There we go. 707 00:35:26,220 --> 00:35:28,700 Come on. Feed me that banana, baby. 708 00:35:28,740 --> 00:35:30,940 I'll get the wellies on. Mm. 709 00:35:30,980 --> 00:35:33,156 Lou, you need to give me directions to the Wellington boots! 710 00:35:33,180 --> 00:35:35,180 Let Lou finish the banana first. 711 00:35:35,220 --> 00:35:36,900 I don't know why I went for it! 712 00:35:38,300 --> 00:35:40,020 Just go nice and slow. 713 00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:44,100 I got it, I got it. OK. 714 00:35:44,140 --> 00:35:45,740 Iain, Iain - to the left. 715 00:35:45,780 --> 00:35:48,380 Maybe take your shoes off if you can. 716 00:35:48,420 --> 00:35:50,780 I've got it, I've got it! Well done, mate. 717 00:35:51,820 --> 00:35:53,100 Oh... 718 00:35:53,140 --> 00:35:55,300 Fastest wins, Joe. 719 00:35:55,340 --> 00:35:57,900 They're not going to be faster than this. 720 00:35:59,820 --> 00:36:02,380 There's something weird moving above me. That's Paul. 721 00:36:02,420 --> 00:36:04,700 {\an8}You're meant to still look like one person. 722 00:36:04,740 --> 00:36:06,420 {\an8}Shit, we threw the banana skin away. 723 00:36:06,460 --> 00:36:07,780 Why do we need the banana skin? 724 00:36:07,820 --> 00:36:09,380 Because we need to put it in the bin. 725 00:36:09,420 --> 00:36:11,100 {\an8}It was in the goddamn task! Oh, shit. 726 00:36:11,140 --> 00:36:13,420 {\an8}OK, roll over there and get the banana skin there. 727 00:36:13,460 --> 00:36:14,940 Let's go. That's it. Good lad. 728 00:36:14,980 --> 00:36:17,980 Keep in your... Let's all roll to our fronts 729 00:36:18,020 --> 00:36:20,180 and then human-centipede our way... 730 00:36:20,220 --> 00:36:22,260 LOU LAUGHS Go! Go. 731 00:36:39,020 --> 00:36:41,260 Let's go. Please remain as one person. 732 00:36:41,300 --> 00:36:43,900 What part of this is not one person?! 733 00:36:48,700 --> 00:36:50,820 Paul, is that not incredibly painful? 734 00:36:50,860 --> 00:36:54,020 OK. Unbelievably. Paul, get on all fours. 735 00:37:04,380 --> 00:37:05,540 Thank you. 736 00:37:08,100 --> 00:37:09,860 And it's over to Paul. 737 00:37:09,900 --> 00:37:11,420 Is it in? Yeah! 738 00:37:11,460 --> 00:37:12,980 I've stopped the clock. 739 00:37:17,860 --> 00:37:21,940 I thought that Joe and Sian's was really graceful, 740 00:37:21,980 --> 00:37:25,660 and it looked like a religious ceremony. 741 00:37:25,700 --> 00:37:29,100 And even when you made the mistake, you very gently picked the banana up 742 00:37:29,140 --> 00:37:32,380 and then looked at camera, "Yes... 743 00:37:32,420 --> 00:37:38,860 "it's part of the way we do things, here at Wooden Shoulder Mountain." 744 00:37:38,900 --> 00:37:42,300 That's what happens when you put a cape on. That's right. 745 00:37:42,340 --> 00:37:46,700 I mean, the other team - it looked like the end of the fucking world. 746 00:37:48,020 --> 00:37:50,500 It was carnage! 747 00:37:50,540 --> 00:37:52,460 Lou was trying to keep them as one person. 748 00:37:52,500 --> 00:37:55,500 At one point, she shouted, "Get up my arse and wriggle!" to Paul. 749 00:38:00,580 --> 00:38:01,980 Ha-ha! 750 00:38:02,020 --> 00:38:05,540 Well, it was fastest wins. They took 5 minutes 43 seconds 751 00:38:05,580 --> 00:38:07,700 to travel eight metres, 752 00:38:07,740 --> 00:38:09,620 Sian and Joe, 3 minutes and 30 seconds. 753 00:38:09,660 --> 00:38:11,780 So not that much quicker, but they were quicker. 754 00:38:11,820 --> 00:38:13,580 I would have given Sian and Joe less 755 00:38:13,620 --> 00:38:17,460 if it hadn't seemed like a pre-planned religious ceremony. 756 00:38:17,500 --> 00:38:19,540 But it was so graceful and pleasing to watch. 757 00:38:19,580 --> 00:38:22,060 If you saw that in a cathedral in sort of Southern Spain, 758 00:38:22,100 --> 00:38:23,420 you'd think, "Bloody hell." 759 00:38:25,140 --> 00:38:28,140 But imagine if you saw ours in a church. 760 00:38:28,180 --> 00:38:31,500 Sian and Joe, I'm giving 4 points, 761 00:38:31,540 --> 00:38:35,020 and the nightmarish vision I'm giving 1 point each. 762 00:38:39,460 --> 00:38:41,260 Quick look at the scores, then, I guess. 763 00:38:41,300 --> 00:38:43,540 OK. Well, for the first time this series, I think, 764 00:38:43,580 --> 00:38:46,820 any one of the five could win after the last task. 765 00:38:46,860 --> 00:38:49,780 Iain is currently in the lead by one point. Way! 766 00:38:53,260 --> 00:38:54,580 Right, all to play for. 767 00:38:54,620 --> 00:38:57,140 It's time for you to please head to the stage 768 00:38:57,180 --> 00:38:59,700 for the penultimate Final Task of the show. 769 00:39:10,940 --> 00:39:14,500 Hello, everyone. Hi, Daddy. Hi, Greg. Hello, Alex. Hi, Greg. 770 00:39:14,540 --> 00:39:16,940 And who's going to read the task out? Iain Stirling, please. 771 00:39:19,140 --> 00:39:22,340 "Stack the most bowls and plates on your head. 772 00:39:22,380 --> 00:39:25,140 "You must stack them one at a time. 773 00:39:25,180 --> 00:39:28,860 "Also, you must stand upright when you stack. 774 00:39:28,900 --> 00:39:33,900 "Also, you may not touch a bowl or plate that is already stacked. 775 00:39:33,940 --> 00:39:39,460 "Also, you must stack the bowls and plates alternate... Alternately." 776 00:39:39,500 --> 00:39:41,020 Getting there. 777 00:39:41,060 --> 00:39:43,540 Turns out there's quite a few words that are a problem for you. 778 00:39:45,060 --> 00:39:46,860 I've got a law degree. 779 00:39:48,300 --> 00:39:52,780 "Also, you must stay standing at your spot throughout the task. 780 00:39:52,820 --> 00:39:56,660 "Most bowls and plates stacked correctly after 100 seconds wins." 781 00:39:56,700 --> 00:39:57,940 So there are a few rules. 782 00:39:57,980 --> 00:40:01,660 We're looking for the most bowls and plates stacked on your head 783 00:40:01,700 --> 00:40:04,620 at the end of the 30 plus 70 seconds - that's 100 seconds. 784 00:40:06,260 --> 00:40:07,980 So you have to bend down each time? 785 00:40:08,020 --> 00:40:10,540 And get an individual one and then go back upright. Yeah. 786 00:40:10,580 --> 00:40:14,500 Yes. I understand. Does everyone understand? Yes. Let's party. 787 00:40:14,540 --> 00:40:16,420 Good luck. Your 100 seconds starts... 788 00:40:37,020 --> 00:40:38,660 Lovely. 789 00:40:46,420 --> 00:40:47,820 Measured. 790 00:40:53,380 --> 00:40:54,460 Ooh! 791 00:40:55,540 --> 00:40:57,220 Oh! 792 00:40:58,500 --> 00:40:59,860 Dammit! 793 00:41:11,580 --> 00:41:14,260 He's out. Are you staying put, are you? 794 00:41:14,300 --> 00:41:15,500 He's sticking on that. 795 00:41:18,300 --> 00:41:19,700 How long left, Alex? 796 00:41:19,740 --> 00:41:20,940 25 seconds. 797 00:41:28,780 --> 00:41:30,460 Oh! 798 00:41:31,700 --> 00:41:32,980 Ten... 799 00:41:33,020 --> 00:41:36,660 Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four... 800 00:41:36,700 --> 00:41:37,860 Quick, a bowl! 801 00:41:37,900 --> 00:41:40,300 Three, two, one. 802 00:41:44,420 --> 00:41:46,340 That's all right, the whistle had gone. 803 00:41:46,380 --> 00:41:49,620 The whistle had gone when mine came off, so it's OK. 804 00:41:49,660 --> 00:41:51,340 Erm, we'll work it all out. 805 00:41:51,380 --> 00:41:53,940 You come down and we'll add it to the final scores of the show. 806 00:42:01,660 --> 00:42:04,580 Hello, sweetcheeks. All OK? 807 00:42:04,620 --> 00:42:06,580 Yes, thank you. Yes. 808 00:42:06,620 --> 00:42:09,020 It was quite a tense game of Bowl Stack Plate Stack. 809 00:42:09,060 --> 00:42:12,660 Tensest game I've ever seen of Bowl Stack Plate Stack. 810 00:42:12,700 --> 00:42:14,180 Yes, me too. Poor Sian. 811 00:42:14,220 --> 00:42:16,900 Was I the only one who dropped them all? 812 00:42:16,940 --> 00:42:20,340 Yes. Oh. So, sadly, Sian stacked zero plates or bowls, 813 00:42:20,380 --> 00:42:22,460 but gets 1 point for coming last. 814 00:42:22,500 --> 00:42:25,540 Joe, 2 points for getting three bowls or plates. 815 00:42:25,580 --> 00:42:28,020 Iain gets 3 points. Paul, 4 - a tremendous effort. 816 00:42:28,060 --> 00:42:29,740 But the winner of the task was Lou, 817 00:42:29,780 --> 00:42:34,100 with 5 points and six plate-bowl-plate-bowl-plate-bowl. 818 00:42:35,820 --> 00:42:38,220 Good. Do you want to see the scoreboard? 819 00:42:38,260 --> 00:42:40,020 I want to see the scoreboard. 820 00:42:40,060 --> 00:42:42,780 Yes. Well, it has affected it - in this way... 821 00:42:42,820 --> 00:42:45,300 She has risen to the top with 20 points - Lou wins the episode. 822 00:42:47,620 --> 00:42:50,620 Lou Sanders is tonight's winner! 823 00:42:50,660 --> 00:42:53,180 Please go and get protected. 824 00:42:56,140 --> 00:42:59,340 So, what have we learned today? 825 00:42:59,380 --> 00:43:02,620 We've learned that as a species it's about time we started being 826 00:43:02,660 --> 00:43:04,300 more responsible in our lives. 827 00:43:04,340 --> 00:43:06,580 So, the next time you take out a rubbish bag, 828 00:43:06,620 --> 00:43:08,740 just pause for a second and double-check, 829 00:43:08,780 --> 00:43:12,940 because you never know when there is a wild Paul Sinha lurking inside. 830 00:43:12,980 --> 00:43:17,100 Let's all cheer again for tonight's winner - Lou Sanders! 831 00:43:18,740 --> 00:43:20,940 It's the Final next. 832 00:43:20,980 --> 00:43:22,460 That's exciting. 833 00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:24,140 We'll see you there!