1 00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:12,620 Whuhh! 2 00:00:16,580 --> 00:00:18,780 Arghh! 3 00:00:18,820 --> 00:00:20,420 Ahh! 4 00:00:20,460 --> 00:00:21,740 Wheeh! 5 00:00:35,860 --> 00:00:39,580 Hello! Thank you and welcome to the show! 6 00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:42,980 Taskmaster - a competition of wit, bravery and of quick thinking. 7 00:00:43,020 --> 00:00:45,860 A contest where the agile and the nimble come out on top, 8 00:00:45,900 --> 00:00:49,020 a celebration of artistic flair, strength and determination 9 00:00:49,060 --> 00:00:51,700 until these five people came along! 10 00:00:51,740 --> 00:00:54,180 Please welcome Iain Stirling! 11 00:00:55,580 --> 00:00:57,820 Joe Thomas! 12 00:00:57,860 --> 00:00:59,820 Lou Sanders! 13 00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:01,500 Paul Sinha! 14 00:01:01,540 --> 00:01:03,620 And Sian Gibson! 15 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:08,620 And on the much smaller throne to my left 16 00:01:08,660 --> 00:01:12,340 is a man who still comes to work with his sandwiches cut into fingers 17 00:01:12,380 --> 00:01:14,380 because he thinks they "taste better". 18 00:01:14,420 --> 00:01:17,420 It's... ..little Alex Horne! 19 00:01:21,220 --> 00:01:23,180 Hi. 20 00:01:23,220 --> 00:01:25,820 Hello. Very good. Yes. You all right? 21 00:01:25,860 --> 00:01:28,420 Yes. This is your section. You lead it. 22 00:01:28,460 --> 00:01:31,500 Well, I've designed a game for all the listeners at home today. Yep. 23 00:01:31,540 --> 00:01:34,420 Uh, it's a game called One Number Bingo. 24 00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:37,860 So if you could all write down one number between one and a million. 25 00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:39,780 Uh, ideally all different numbers 26 00:01:39,820 --> 00:01:41,860 because we don't want more than one winner. 27 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:44,220 So look at your number. I'm pulling out the number now. 28 00:01:44,260 --> 00:01:46,260 It's all the twos - 20. 29 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:50,860 OK? So if that was your number, 30 00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:53,180 then you've won. 31 00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:58,900 Right. On with the show. 32 00:01:58,940 --> 00:02:01,580 What's the, er, prize task? 33 00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:04,620 Well, this week we've asked the contestants to bring in 34 00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:07,660 the nicest thing... to hold. 35 00:02:07,700 --> 00:02:09,700 Mmm. Yes. 36 00:02:09,740 --> 00:02:12,820 Greg's going to judge which he thinks is the nicest thing to hold 37 00:02:12,860 --> 00:02:15,060 and give five points to the person that brought it in. 38 00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:17,580 At the end of tonight's proceedings, the overall winner 39 00:02:17,620 --> 00:02:20,660 will carry five things home and have a thoroughly nice time in doing so. 40 00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:22,980 Iain, what have you brought in? 41 00:02:23,020 --> 00:02:25,500 £200 in cold, hard cash. 42 00:02:25,540 --> 00:02:27,660 There it is. You can hold it, 43 00:02:27,700 --> 00:02:30,500 you can buy things with it, you can throw it up in the air, 44 00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:33,100 pretend you're in The Crystal Maze. OK. 45 00:02:33,140 --> 00:02:37,260 A money clip makes me feel like I'm a bit "Yeah, awright?" 46 00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:40,700 "Yeah, go on. Come here, sweetheart, go on..." 47 00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:44,340 "Yeah..." "You have whatever you want, up to the value of 200 pand." 48 00:02:44,380 --> 00:02:46,980 "Ooh, that does feel nice." 49 00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:50,300 It's a start. Sian, what have you brought that's nice for me to hold? 50 00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:52,900 Me! Aww! 51 00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:54,940 Well, I haven't brought me. Well, I am here, 52 00:02:54,980 --> 00:02:57,260 but I can't give someone me to take home, 53 00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:59,140 so I've made a me 54 00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:01,460 because I've been told I give good hugs. 55 00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:03,020 OK. 56 00:03:03,060 --> 00:03:06,260 {\an3}There she is. There we go. 57 00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:10,300 So it's one of those pillows that you can spoon. 58 00:03:10,340 --> 00:03:14,660 It's like your secret sister that's not allowed to come out. 59 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:16,820 It's got my head, my perfume 60 00:03:16,860 --> 00:03:18,700 and you can spoon me. 61 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:21,420 Sian, it's strong. This is a strong opening. 62 00:03:21,460 --> 00:03:24,180 Hopefully someone's going to disappoint us soon. Joe. 63 00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:26,420 What have you brought that's nice to hold? 64 00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:29,420 One of the things you can hold is a note. 65 00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:31,780 Like... Like a pound note or... 66 00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:34,060 No, a musical... musical note 67 00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:38,220 and I think the most famously held note 68 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,340 is when Pavarotti sings the word "vincero" 69 00:03:40,380 --> 00:03:43,180 from Nessun Dorma by Puccini. 70 00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:45,940 {\an3}He's provided it on a cassette obviously, so... 71 00:03:45,980 --> 00:03:48,620 {\an3}Erm, if you win the episode, you will win that cassette 72 00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:51,020 and that cassette player and you will hear this noise. 73 00:03:51,060 --> 00:03:59,060 "♪ Ce-e-e-e..." 74 00:03:59,420 --> 00:04:02,580 OK? Not a bad prize. Why wouldn't you want that? 75 00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:05,460 I think that's nice, a bit of lateral thinking. Thank you. 76 00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:08,660 Erm, Lou. What's the best thing to hold? 77 00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:11,460 I would say hope. 78 00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:15,260 Have you brought the concept of hope as a prize? 79 00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:17,020 Well, 80 00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:19,700 the second best thing to hold... 81 00:04:19,740 --> 00:04:22,340 is a dolphin. 82 00:04:24,460 --> 00:04:27,380 But I've brought a dolphin excursion, 83 00:04:27,420 --> 00:04:31,420 but, because it's ethical, they might not be there. 84 00:04:31,460 --> 00:04:34,220 Because... Oh, they're not captive dolphins. 85 00:04:34,260 --> 00:04:37,780 They might not be around that day, so that's where the hope comes in. 86 00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:40,540 So I've brought you dolphins plus hope. 87 00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:43,020 {\an3}In the form of a voucher. Here it is. 88 00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:45,420 There. 89 00:04:45,460 --> 00:04:48,260 I don't know if I want to hold a dolphin. 90 00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:50,740 They're quite sexually aggressive is my understanding. 91 00:04:50,780 --> 00:04:53,020 Exactly! 92 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:57,540 Like a lot of people's bucket list... 93 00:04:57,580 --> 00:05:00,060 Yeah, when they're about to die. 94 00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:04,340 We're all going to die, let's face it, 95 00:05:04,380 --> 00:05:07,300 but that's where the hope comes in. What I don't want is to die 96 00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:09,100 at the... 97 00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:10,900 I was going to say "hands"! 98 00:05:10,940 --> 00:05:15,020 At the flippers of the relentless penis of a male dolphin... 99 00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:19,820 ..that's been hammering away at me like some aquatic sewing machine. 100 00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:27,260 You're so arrogant that you think the dolphin's going to fancy you! 101 00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:29,500 Shut up! Have a look! 102 00:05:29,540 --> 00:05:33,020 I'm coming along! He's going to be clicking all over me. 103 00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:41,020 Paul. So this dates to 1983 104 00:05:41,060 --> 00:05:43,940 and it is the chess-tournament trophy 105 00:05:43,980 --> 00:05:46,140 for Dulwich College Preparatory School. 106 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:49,660 It's a little bit on the rusty side, but it's my proudest possession 107 00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:51,740 and I hold it all the time. Aww. 108 00:05:51,780 --> 00:05:54,100 And the reason I hold it all the time... Ohh. 109 00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:56,140 ..is all these recordings of Taskmaster 110 00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:58,740 have utterly crushed my spirit. 111 00:05:58,780 --> 00:06:01,500 I had no idea until I did Taskmaster 112 00:06:01,540 --> 00:06:04,140 that I was actually as thick as pigshit. 113 00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:07,780 Because the recollection I have is of a 13-year-old teenager 114 00:06:07,820 --> 00:06:11,740 winning his school chess championships for the third time, 115 00:06:11,780 --> 00:06:14,540 bringing it home to my dad, saying "Because I won it, 116 00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:17,860 "like Brazil in 1970, they let me keep the trophy." 117 00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:20,780 And the reason you'd really like to hold it, Greg, 118 00:06:20,820 --> 00:06:24,220 is the thrill that it's stolen goods 119 00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:27,180 because when I said to my dad "They let me keep it", 120 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,220 I was lying. 121 00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:41,180 Powerful stuff, Greg. It's all powerful stuff. 122 00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:44,420 OK. The thing I want to hold most - 123 00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:47,060 and it genuinely almost brought a tear to my eye - 124 00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:50,380 for some reason, it's Paul's stolen trophy. 125 00:06:50,420 --> 00:06:52,660 That's the thing I want to hold. 126 00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:54,500 Five points to Paul Sinha. 127 00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:58,300 Then I want to sit in a room with white walls, 128 00:06:58,340 --> 00:07:00,340 just listening to Joe's note. 129 00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:02,540 OK, four points to Joe. That's right. 130 00:07:02,580 --> 00:07:05,660 Sian, I'm going to give you a lovely three-point hug. 131 00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:07,820 Ahh. OK, so three points to Sian. 132 00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:09,860 Three points to Sian. OK. 133 00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:13,820 Three points for a bit of cold, hard cash. Joint third, Iain and Sian. 134 00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:16,820 That's right. And two points for Lou's lovely dolphin 135 00:07:16,860 --> 00:07:20,100 that I may or may not get to have a lovely cuddle with. 136 00:07:22,140 --> 00:07:25,260 Very good. Prize task - tick. Next task, please. Sure. 137 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:28,460 And this has something for everyone, by which I mean air, sand, 138 00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:32,940 a big dice, a tray, art and series one to seven of Taskmaster. 139 00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:47,420 Welcome. Hello. 140 00:07:47,460 --> 00:07:51,100 Oh, God, this is going to be hard, I can tell. 141 00:07:51,140 --> 00:07:53,060 "Make the best picture in the sand 142 00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:55,540 "of a former Taskmask-e-ter..." 143 00:07:55,580 --> 00:07:57,780 "Taskmask..." What's this show called? Taskmaster. 144 00:07:57,820 --> 00:07:59,540 "Taskmaster contestant..." 145 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:03,140 "Using one of these implements." Up here on the table. 146 00:08:03,180 --> 00:08:07,220 There they are. "You must roll the dice to choose your implement." 147 00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:11,460 "Nothing but air may touch the sand at any point." 148 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:14,260 What?! Nothing but air? Oh, OK. 149 00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:16,300 "You have ten minutes. Your time starts 150 00:08:16,340 --> 00:08:18,500 "as soon as you have rolled the dice." 151 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:21,540 Ok, so we want to get someone who's a good caricature. 152 00:08:21,580 --> 00:08:24,780 Funny old face. Or a big, fat one or something. 153 00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:27,540 Can you say that these days? 154 00:08:27,580 --> 00:08:29,860 They're all sort of mixed blessing really. 155 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:33,540 It's like a sort of metaphor for just life and the future, isn't it? 156 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:37,540 Just... Could be different, but all shit. Erm... 157 00:08:37,580 --> 00:08:40,140 Four. Hohh! 158 00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:42,300 Hnng! Oh, I think it's that. 159 00:08:44,060 --> 00:08:46,260 It's a six. That's the long horn. 160 00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:48,860 That's the horn. Yeah, the worst of all. Erm... 161 00:08:49,940 --> 00:08:51,860 Thrown a two. 162 00:08:57,140 --> 00:08:58,980 Great! 163 00:08:59,020 --> 00:09:00,860 That's a good one. 164 00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:03,620 Six. 165 00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:05,820 SHE LAUGHS Oh, dear. 166 00:09:12,180 --> 00:09:14,780 Nice that in this episode Joe finally works out 167 00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:18,940 that this entire show is a metaphor for how shit life is! 168 00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:23,620 Good. OK. This is all of them doing it together. 169 00:09:23,660 --> 00:09:25,220 Right. 170 00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,180 Here we go. Ready? 171 00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:29,820 Well, this is just stupid. 172 00:09:31,220 --> 00:09:33,380 Whoo-oo! 173 00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:35,100 Oh, here we go. 174 00:09:35,140 --> 00:09:37,140 That's actually a lovely bit of business. 175 00:09:39,460 --> 00:09:41,940 Can I ask you what the state capital of Alabama is? 176 00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:44,300 It's Montgomery? OK. 177 00:09:46,060 --> 00:09:49,300 It's quite hard because it's just a load of holes. 178 00:09:51,780 --> 00:09:54,220 Oh, my God. I'm out of breath. 179 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,380 "You must roll the dice to choose your implement." 180 00:09:56,420 --> 00:09:59,740 But can I use one of the others? Doesn't say I can't. 181 00:09:59,780 --> 00:10:02,620 Paul, do you know the state capital of Arkansas? 182 00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:04,620 Little Rock. 183 00:10:04,660 --> 00:10:06,820 I can roll the dice again? Mm. 184 00:10:06,860 --> 00:10:08,420 Ohh. 185 00:10:10,140 --> 00:10:11,780 What are you trying to roll? A two. 186 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,980 Do you know the state capital of Kansas? 187 00:10:14,020 --> 00:10:16,100 Topeka. 188 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:20,420 Two! You got a two, did you? 189 00:10:20,460 --> 00:10:22,980 Yeah. DEVICE BUZZES 190 00:10:24,060 --> 00:10:25,860 My back's gone. 191 00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:28,740 This is harder that it looks. 192 00:10:28,780 --> 00:10:30,900 Up a bit. Right, right. 193 00:10:30,940 --> 00:10:34,260 Literally right there. Oh. Uhh... 194 00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:42,380 Not going to bugger it up any more than I have to. 195 00:10:42,420 --> 00:10:44,020 Wow. Thank you, Lou. 196 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,020 Thank you. Bye. 197 00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:55,540 Good. So they've done sand art of former contestants 198 00:10:55,580 --> 00:10:58,100 and you're going to have to guess who the contestant is. Good. 199 00:10:58,140 --> 00:11:00,860 {\an3}We're going to start off with Joe's attempt with the long horn. 200 00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:03,260 See who you think this is. 201 00:11:06,340 --> 00:11:10,140 This is someone who's previously been on Taskmaster? 202 00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:12,580 Yes, yes. 203 00:11:12,620 --> 00:11:15,140 Well, it's obvious, isn't it? 204 00:11:15,180 --> 00:11:18,460 That series where we had the old Chinese guy. 205 00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:24,380 Joe said it won't be necessary to tell you who it is 206 00:11:24,420 --> 00:11:26,340 and he said also 207 00:11:29,260 --> 00:11:31,180 Christ! 208 00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:34,060 {\an3}And "It doesn't get much better. Looks like a lovable pooch." 209 00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:36,220 In the picture. In the picture. 210 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:40,060 The more I stare at it, it looks like Predator. 211 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,380 I haven't got a clue who it is. 212 00:11:42,420 --> 00:11:44,500 It's Jessica Knappett! 213 00:11:47,460 --> 00:11:51,180 It's really, really, really hard to get anything done. 214 00:11:51,220 --> 00:11:54,980 I mean, even to get that was really hard. 215 00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:57,020 Oh, fine. Five points, then. 216 00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:02,220 Right. Would you like to do this link to break, Alex? Yes, please. 217 00:12:02,260 --> 00:12:04,700 Well, you can't! It's the end of part one. 218 00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:06,620 See you back here very soon. 219 00:12:18,260 --> 00:12:20,260 Hello! Welcome back to Taskmaster! 220 00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:23,740 Humour me, Alex. Tell me what was going on before the break, 221 00:12:23,780 --> 00:12:26,300 like I don't know. Sure. Well, Greg, before the break, 222 00:12:26,340 --> 00:12:28,700 they were trying to use one of the instruments provided 223 00:12:28,740 --> 00:12:33,020 to blow a portrait of a former Taskmaster contestant into sand. 224 00:12:33,060 --> 00:12:36,260 {\an3}Next it's Lou. Who is this? 225 00:12:47,060 --> 00:12:49,580 Is it Phil Wang? It is Phil Wang. 226 00:12:49,620 --> 00:12:51,620 Yes, it is Phil Wang. 227 00:12:51,660 --> 00:12:54,140 We've only had one Phil on the show, right? Yes. 228 00:12:54,180 --> 00:12:57,900 Nice excuse to draw a picture of a wang! 229 00:12:57,940 --> 00:13:00,436 {\an3}She kept throwing the dice till she got the implement she wanted, 230 00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:02,980 {\an3}which wasn't technically against any rules. 231 00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:06,300 Good. Now, here's a sentence I didn't think I'd be saying - 232 00:13:06,340 --> 00:13:09,540 I'm disappointed by the "Phil", but I love the wang. 233 00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:15,460 Do you want to see Sian's pan-piped attempt? 234 00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:27,020 When did we have that guy on with, erm... 235 00:13:27,060 --> 00:13:29,540 the burglar's mask 236 00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:31,700 and one giant tooth 237 00:13:31,740 --> 00:13:34,100 in the centre of their mouth? 238 00:13:34,140 --> 00:13:36,700 It's a beard actually. A beard with a mouth hole. 239 00:13:36,740 --> 00:13:38,820 I think it's, erm, 240 00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,820 Joe Wilkinson. 241 00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:43,660 It is! Er, no, it's Romesh. 242 00:13:45,940 --> 00:13:48,020 Romesh Ranganathan there. Of course it is. 243 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:51,780 So tricky because you make one hole and another one closes. 244 00:13:51,820 --> 00:13:54,780 Yeah... Exactly. It's a metaphor for life. 245 00:13:54,820 --> 00:13:56,580 It's a metaphor for life. 246 00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:58,980 That is, I mean, so rubbish. 247 00:13:59,020 --> 00:14:01,860 Paul was slightly luckier with this throw. Pfff... 248 00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:04,180 Paul got a barbecue blower, electronic device. 249 00:14:04,220 --> 00:14:05,900 And he created this. 250 00:14:05,940 --> 00:14:07,860 Oh! 251 00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:10,740 Mm. Now, I actually think that is Romesh. 252 00:14:10,780 --> 00:14:14,300 {\an3}Well, you're absolutely right. It is Romesh. 253 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,980 You missed a few details out. 254 00:14:20,020 --> 00:14:22,180 The ears... 255 00:14:22,220 --> 00:14:25,900 and his teeth hanging from his beard. But apart from that... 256 00:14:25,940 --> 00:14:28,380 Who's next? Er, one person left 257 00:14:28,420 --> 00:14:31,660 and he's an artist. Well, a voiceover artist mainly. 258 00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:33,860 It's Iain Stirling's attempt. 259 00:14:35,780 --> 00:14:37,260 Mm. 260 00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:40,460 First of all, it's a lovely drawing. Thank you very much. You're welcome. 261 00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:42,300 I think I know who it is, 262 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:45,580 but I also think what I'm about to say might be incredibly insulting... 263 00:14:45,620 --> 00:14:49,460 {\an1}I'm worried you might say who I tried. 264 00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:53,100 I should say it started off a man and became a woman halfway through. 265 00:14:54,380 --> 00:14:56,500 I think it's, erm, Sally Phillips. 266 00:14:56,540 --> 00:14:58,780 It is Sally Phillips. Yeah! 267 00:14:58,820 --> 00:15:00,860 {\an3}It is Sally Phillips. 268 00:15:03,580 --> 00:15:05,700 It was meant to be Nish Kumar. 269 00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:10,220 Can we see all of them? There they are. That should help. 270 00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:15,060 OK, I'm going to give Sian one point. 271 00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:18,060 It's so shit! 272 00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:21,620 I'm going to give Joe and Lou two points... 273 00:15:21,660 --> 00:15:23,900 Fuck off! 274 00:15:23,940 --> 00:15:27,020 Honestly, I can't actually believe this. 275 00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,900 You've written "Phil"! 276 00:15:32,660 --> 00:15:34,700 So two to Joe, two to Lou. Two to Lou. 277 00:15:34,740 --> 00:15:37,340 It's obviously a toss-up between Iain and Paul's. 278 00:15:37,380 --> 00:15:39,980 I'm going to say that Sally Phillips takes it. 279 00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:42,260 Iain five points and Paul four points. 280 00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:44,380 There we go, Iain Stirling gets five points! 281 00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:49,620 So he's yet to win an episode, he's the only one who hasn't won one, 282 00:15:49,660 --> 00:15:53,140 but Paul is in the lead with nine points! Oh, at last! 283 00:15:53,180 --> 00:15:55,140 At last! 284 00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:57,380 {\an1}Yes, Paul! 285 00:15:57,420 --> 00:16:00,820 In the series, Paul is now on 96, 286 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:03,740 {\an3}then Iain 109, Sian 100. Tight. 287 00:16:03,780 --> 00:16:08,060 Joe 121, but Lou is in the lead with 124! 288 00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:10,580 Ooh. Three points in it. 289 00:16:12,140 --> 00:16:13,780 Get in. 290 00:16:13,820 --> 00:16:17,980 What's next? I've got tons of balls for you. Here we go. 291 00:16:29,740 --> 00:16:31,740 Where we going? 292 00:16:31,780 --> 00:16:34,700 Hello, team. Hello, Alex. 293 00:16:38,220 --> 00:16:40,460 "Catch all the red balls..." 294 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,100 "in things from the shed." 295 00:16:43,140 --> 00:16:44,940 "Catch the yellow balls in clothing." 296 00:16:44,980 --> 00:16:46,420 What? 297 00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:49,940 "Don't let the green balls touch anything other than the grass." 298 00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:52,740 "Catch the blue ball in something from the kitchen." 299 00:16:52,780 --> 00:16:54,420 "Red balls are worth one point..." 300 00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:56,260 "Yellows two." 301 00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:58,060 "The blue is worth five." 302 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,460 "But you lose two points for every green ball 303 00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:02,620 "that touches anything other than the grass." 304 00:17:02,660 --> 00:17:05,940 "You may not touch the ball machines." 305 00:17:05,980 --> 00:17:08,500 "Any non-green ball that touches the ground at any point 306 00:17:08,540 --> 00:17:10,220 "will not count." 307 00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:12,260 "Highest score wins." 308 00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:15,780 "The balls will start firing..." 309 00:17:15,820 --> 00:17:18,420 "in two minutes from now"?! Oh, my God, right. 310 00:17:18,460 --> 00:17:21,540 OK, you find something from the kitchen to catch the blue ball in. 311 00:17:21,580 --> 00:17:23,876 I'll get something from the shed to catch the red balls in. 312 00:17:23,900 --> 00:17:27,140 Shall I do blue and green and you do yellow and red? Yeah, perfect. 313 00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,900 There's three colours of balls, 314 00:17:28,940 --> 00:17:31,740 so Paul, get something from the shed, you're on red balls. 315 00:17:31,780 --> 00:17:34,700 Clothing - yellow balls. I'll go to the kitchen. What am I on? 316 00:17:34,740 --> 00:17:36,740 An item of clothing, you can use anything. 317 00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:39,900 I know, but I'm getting something from the... the shed. 318 00:17:39,940 --> 00:17:42,220 Shed. Er... 319 00:17:42,260 --> 00:17:44,500 That's fine. 320 00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:53,140 Where's that hat? Oh, I don't know. Ahh... 321 00:17:53,180 --> 00:17:55,300 Where are the ball machines? 322 00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:57,420 They could be anywhere. 323 00:18:04,740 --> 00:18:07,740 I thought we were going to see the return of bossy-boots Iain then. 324 00:18:07,780 --> 00:18:11,100 Ohh... I hate myself. 325 00:18:11,140 --> 00:18:13,780 You don't like bossy-boots Iain, watching him back, do you? 326 00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:16,500 Just shouted at a woman and then ran into the kitchen. 327 00:18:19,020 --> 00:18:21,500 At least you didn't walk into a shed and come out 328 00:18:21,540 --> 00:18:23,900 looking baffled with a washing-up bowl. 329 00:18:23,940 --> 00:18:27,060 We're going to start with the other team. Sian and Joe giving it a go. 330 00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:28,700 Dream team. 331 00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:31,380 Bucket. Well, I've got... Actually there's that as well. 332 00:18:31,420 --> 00:18:33,260 That's... That's quite good. 333 00:18:33,300 --> 00:18:35,100 That's an option as well. 334 00:18:35,140 --> 00:18:38,500 I mean, that's not... It's no better than that really. 335 00:18:38,540 --> 00:18:40,500 Right, hang on. Uhh! 336 00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:42,460 Oh, my God! Right, hang on... 337 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,380 A blue! A blue, green... Red balls, shed. 338 00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:46,820 Yellow balls, clothing. Right. 339 00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:48,540 Ahh! 340 00:18:50,740 --> 00:18:52,780 Well done! 341 00:18:52,820 --> 00:18:54,860 I can't even see blue. 342 00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:56,900 Grass... SHE SCREAMS 343 00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:58,540 Oh, God! 344 00:18:58,580 --> 00:19:02,020 Green, yellow, yellow... 345 00:19:02,060 --> 00:19:04,100 The clothing is shit. 346 00:19:04,140 --> 00:19:05,700 Ahhh! 347 00:19:05,740 --> 00:19:08,020 Oh, the yellows are impossible. 348 00:19:08,060 --> 00:19:10,140 Wahh! No! 349 00:19:10,180 --> 00:19:11,980 Oh, no... 350 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:13,700 No! 351 00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:15,740 Oh, God. Right... 352 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:18,260 I've not seen a blue ball. 353 00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:20,100 There's green! 354 00:19:20,140 --> 00:19:22,060 Yellow! Nearly. 355 00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:23,660 Green... 356 00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:26,020 No! Yellow... 357 00:19:27,260 --> 00:19:29,260 OK. Ow. 358 00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:31,940 That was the blue. Oh, no! 359 00:19:31,980 --> 00:19:35,300 Oohh! 360 00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:39,580 I'm just going to stand here and hope. 361 00:19:53,580 --> 00:19:55,100 Ow! 362 00:19:57,140 --> 00:20:00,380 Use this shoe because that's red. Get the reds in there. 363 00:20:00,420 --> 00:20:02,940 Have you got your system sorted now? Yes. 364 00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:05,340 I'll look this way, you look that way. 365 00:20:18,860 --> 00:20:20,220 Well... 366 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,940 quite a contrast within the team. 367 00:20:22,980 --> 00:20:25,260 Sian, 368 00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:27,700 I don't think you did anything. 369 00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:32,260 I was on blue-ball duty... Blue ball, which you missed. 370 00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:35,100 It did say "Catch THE blue ball in something from the kitchen", 371 00:20:35,140 --> 00:20:37,660 so you held up a hat and a pan. 372 00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:40,700 {\an1}The initial way we divided it up was I'd do red and yellow 373 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,740 {\an1}and Sian would do blue and green. 374 00:20:42,780 --> 00:20:46,140 {\an1}The only job of the green was to let them hit the ground... 375 00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:50,500 {\an1}Sian did well on the green duty. Yeah... 376 00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:53,540 Well, she caught three yellows in the right thing, 377 00:20:53,580 --> 00:20:56,860 er, but she also touched or was struck by several greens. 378 00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:59,940 Her total was minus 12 points. 379 00:20:59,980 --> 00:21:01,220 Minus?! 380 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,540 Er, Joe was a sort of ball magnet. 381 00:21:03,580 --> 00:21:06,580 He was hit by red five times, hit by yellow 11 times, 382 00:21:06,620 --> 00:21:08,820 hit by green 15 times. Yeah. 383 00:21:08,860 --> 00:21:11,260 Minus 30 for the greens, but he also caught eight red, 384 00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:13,420 caught nine yellow in the correct things, 385 00:21:13,460 --> 00:21:17,340 so he added four points, so they get altogether minus eight points. 386 00:21:20,300 --> 00:21:23,260 It was hard. No, it was... it was hard. 387 00:21:23,300 --> 00:21:26,380 Let's all stop and have a little rest. See you in a few minutes. 388 00:21:36,900 --> 00:21:38,380 Hello! Thank you. 389 00:21:38,420 --> 00:21:41,460 How pleasant it is to have you back with us. Little Alex Horne, 390 00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:44,500 please remind us of the rules of the current complicated task. 391 00:21:44,540 --> 00:21:46,300 Yes, the rules are simple really. 392 00:21:46,340 --> 00:21:48,380 Catch all the red balls in something from the shed, 393 00:21:48,420 --> 00:21:50,420 catch the yellows in an article of clothing, 394 00:21:50,460 --> 00:21:53,780 if the greens touch anything but the grass, you lose two points for each. 395 00:21:53,820 --> 00:21:55,820 Catch the blue ball in something from the kitchen, 396 00:21:55,860 --> 00:21:58,660 red balls are worth one point, yellows two, the blue five. OK? 397 00:21:58,700 --> 00:22:02,780 Yep. Good. Here's the team of three - Lou, Paul and Iain. 398 00:22:02,820 --> 00:22:05,460 The green balls must touch grass, so maybe it's here, then. 399 00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:07,620 No, the green balls are not allowed to touch grass. 400 00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:11,100 The green balls aren't allowed to touch grass? We... 401 00:22:11,140 --> 00:22:13,940 "Don't let the green balls touch anything other than the grass." 402 00:22:13,980 --> 00:22:16,740 This is like... Oh, wait! 403 00:22:16,780 --> 00:22:19,420 Shit! What colour am I catching?! 404 00:22:19,460 --> 00:22:22,540 I'm getting blue! I'm getting blue! 405 00:22:22,580 --> 00:22:24,460 Shit... Yellow, yellow! 406 00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:27,340 Quick, catch something, for Christ's sake! 407 00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:28,940 What the fuck... 408 00:22:28,980 --> 00:22:30,900 Yellow! 409 00:22:30,940 --> 00:22:33,460 Green! 410 00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:35,180 This is... 411 00:22:35,220 --> 00:22:36,820 Green... 412 00:22:36,860 --> 00:22:39,020 Green is grass, green is grass! 413 00:22:39,060 --> 00:22:41,380 Switch! 414 00:22:41,420 --> 00:22:43,300 This isn't working. 415 00:22:43,340 --> 00:22:45,540 Yes! Mummy! 416 00:22:45,580 --> 00:22:48,060 There's literally no blue balls. 417 00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:50,020 "The blue ball." 418 00:22:51,420 --> 00:22:53,460 Where is it? 419 00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:55,500 Wahh! Who's red? 420 00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:57,540 I want that blue ball. 421 00:22:58,860 --> 00:23:00,460 Ahh! 422 00:23:02,460 --> 00:23:05,660 Stop catching the green ones, they've got to hit the grass. 423 00:23:05,700 --> 00:23:07,580 Blue! Yesss! 424 00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:10,220 Whoa! 425 00:23:10,260 --> 00:23:11,420 Blue! 426 00:23:11,460 --> 00:23:14,140 Blue! Blue! 427 00:23:14,180 --> 00:23:16,300 What just happened?! 428 00:23:16,340 --> 00:23:18,140 Mummy! 429 00:23:18,180 --> 00:23:20,580 Red! Get it, Paul. Get it, Paul. 430 00:23:22,540 --> 00:23:24,340 Ohh... That's for me! 431 00:23:24,380 --> 00:23:26,300 Yellow! 432 00:23:29,780 --> 00:23:31,580 I got one! 433 00:23:33,860 --> 00:23:36,060 I got... I got... 434 00:23:36,100 --> 00:23:38,220 Eh? What happened there? 435 00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:43,140 Got to pass some of them. 436 00:23:44,700 --> 00:23:48,100 I appear to have caught two by accident. Thank you, team. 437 00:23:55,900 --> 00:23:59,260 Erm, Lou, something we haven't got into previously this series, 438 00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:02,060 but something... a battle cry that you've used throughout 439 00:24:02,100 --> 00:24:03,660 is "Mummy"! 440 00:24:03,700 --> 00:24:06,940 Do you use "Mummy!" a lot? 441 00:24:06,980 --> 00:24:09,700 I think I'm going to stop now I've seen it. 442 00:24:11,060 --> 00:24:13,060 That technique worked well. It did work well. 443 00:24:13,100 --> 00:24:15,980 Lou was a productive member of the team. She caught six yellows, 444 00:24:16,020 --> 00:24:18,580 which means plus 12. She touched four green, 445 00:24:18,620 --> 00:24:22,700 but she adds four points to the team total. Well, lovely. 446 00:24:22,740 --> 00:24:25,580 Iain caught the blue ball for five points. Iain, I mean... 447 00:24:25,620 --> 00:24:28,420 The blue ball - and the celebration entirely valid. 448 00:24:28,460 --> 00:24:31,500 Yeah. I think about seven green balls hit me 449 00:24:31,540 --> 00:24:34,500 as I was celebrating getting five points. 450 00:24:34,540 --> 00:24:36,580 Did the blue ball pay dividends? 451 00:24:36,620 --> 00:24:38,740 Well, he also caught four yellows correctly, 452 00:24:38,780 --> 00:24:42,580 touched nine greens, so minus five for Iain. 453 00:24:42,620 --> 00:24:44,820 So the team are now on minus one. Right. 454 00:24:44,860 --> 00:24:48,220 Remember they've got minus eight to beat. Eight to beat. 455 00:24:48,260 --> 00:24:52,460 So it's Paul's contribution that's going to matter. Come on, Paul. 456 00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:55,460 He did touch a lot of greens, they did strike him repeatedly 457 00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:58,260 on his leg, then balls, then thigh, belly, foot, tray, 458 00:24:58,300 --> 00:25:00,380 foot, foot, back. 19 balls altogether. 459 00:25:00,420 --> 00:25:02,900 With his catches, he scored minus 26. 460 00:25:05,620 --> 00:25:08,060 That's a... 461 00:25:12,060 --> 00:25:15,460 {\an3}Yep. A total of minus 27 for their team. 462 00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:17,540 Oh, dear. 463 00:25:17,580 --> 00:25:19,980 {\an3}Although there is one more thing I could show you. 464 00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:24,620 {\an3}It's just something I noticed after the final ball was propelled. 465 00:25:24,660 --> 00:25:26,980 What am I like? Ahh... 466 00:25:30,420 --> 00:25:33,220 Ohh! 467 00:25:33,260 --> 00:25:36,100 {\an1}Oh, my God! 468 00:25:36,140 --> 00:25:38,460 Just waiting now. 469 00:25:38,500 --> 00:25:40,780 Ohh. 470 00:25:46,180 --> 00:25:49,340 Oh, I just dropped my hat. That's a shame. 471 00:25:55,900 --> 00:25:57,420 Is that it? 472 00:25:57,460 --> 00:25:59,580 Ohh! 473 00:26:00,780 --> 00:26:02,860 {\an3}You OK? 474 00:26:02,900 --> 00:26:06,900 I feel like I've been stabbed in the back! Mm. 475 00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:09,300 Of all the people! 476 00:26:12,980 --> 00:26:15,460 I'm so sorry, Joe. 477 00:26:15,500 --> 00:26:19,340 {\an1}It's all right. You know, we all do crazy things sometimes. 478 00:26:19,380 --> 00:26:23,180 I felt like I hadn't contributed because of the blue ball... 479 00:26:23,220 --> 00:26:25,340 No, because you hadn't contributed. 480 00:26:27,860 --> 00:26:30,140 In Taskmaster history, 481 00:26:30,180 --> 00:26:32,260 we have, erm... 482 00:26:32,300 --> 00:26:34,820 never forgiven cheating. 483 00:26:34,860 --> 00:26:37,380 Was it cheating? 484 00:26:40,220 --> 00:26:43,820 I'm afraid cheating is rewarded by disqualification, so... 485 00:26:43,860 --> 00:26:46,740 Not me, not Joe! I'm afraid so. 486 00:26:46,780 --> 00:26:49,980 And that's something you're going to have to live with. 487 00:26:50,020 --> 00:26:51,940 Mummy! 488 00:26:54,100 --> 00:26:56,260 So... 489 00:26:56,300 --> 00:26:58,940 can I just... Can I confirm? 490 00:26:58,980 --> 00:27:01,220 Despite scoring minus 27... 491 00:27:01,260 --> 00:27:03,860 Yeah. ..how many points are the team of three getting? 492 00:27:03,900 --> 00:27:06,220 Well, they're going to get all five points. 493 00:27:06,260 --> 00:27:08,820 {\an3}Right. Five points to Iain, 494 00:27:08,860 --> 00:27:10,860 {\an3}Lou and Paul Sinha! 495 00:27:10,900 --> 00:27:13,460 {\an1}Well done, Paul. 496 00:27:14,820 --> 00:27:17,140 Right. Come on, let's have another task. 497 00:27:17,180 --> 00:27:19,620 You mean this sort of thing? 498 00:27:35,620 --> 00:27:37,660 Hello! Hello, Iain. 499 00:27:37,700 --> 00:27:40,060 A'right? Pardon? 500 00:27:40,100 --> 00:27:42,420 All... All right. All right. 501 00:27:42,460 --> 00:27:44,060 All right? All right. 502 00:27:44,100 --> 00:27:46,820 This is what I'm talking about. 503 00:27:46,860 --> 00:27:49,460 This looks ridiculous. 504 00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:52,020 Yes. SHE SIGHS 505 00:27:52,060 --> 00:27:55,260 "Make this beach ball cross the finishing line." 506 00:27:55,300 --> 00:27:58,780 "Only water can touch the beach ball." 507 00:28:00,580 --> 00:28:03,140 "Fastest wins. Your time starts now." 508 00:28:03,180 --> 00:28:05,220 What are you talking about? 509 00:28:05,260 --> 00:28:08,420 "Only water can touch the beach ball." 510 00:28:08,460 --> 00:28:10,300 Oh. 511 00:28:22,460 --> 00:28:25,300 Well? What WERE you talking about? 512 00:28:25,340 --> 00:28:28,020 He was very cross. You were very cross about that, weren't you? 513 00:28:28,060 --> 00:28:30,020 Yes. 514 00:28:32,300 --> 00:28:35,820 Can we see some stuff? Yes, we're going to see three of them race now. 515 00:28:35,860 --> 00:28:37,740 Iain, Sian and... 516 00:28:39,900 --> 00:28:41,980 Do you want to guess? J... Joe? 517 00:28:42,020 --> 00:28:43,860 No. P... P... P... 518 00:28:43,900 --> 00:28:47,460 Paul? Lou Sanders, here we go. 519 00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:49,660 Obvious question - is there a hosepipe? 520 00:28:49,700 --> 00:28:51,780 Would you like me to get you a hosepipe? Yes, please. 521 00:28:51,820 --> 00:28:53,860 Let's get a hose. I'll get you a hose. 522 00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:55,420 Get me a hose, then, yeah? 523 00:28:55,460 --> 00:28:57,780 Give me slack. Give me slack! 524 00:28:57,820 --> 00:29:00,180 Am I going? HOSE HISSES 525 00:29:02,780 --> 00:29:04,420 Oh, dear. 526 00:29:04,460 --> 00:29:06,300 Ahh! Ahh! 527 00:29:06,340 --> 00:29:09,220 Uhh... Please may I have a bucket? 528 00:29:12,140 --> 00:29:13,980 It's going backwards! 529 00:29:14,020 --> 00:29:15,540 What are you looking for now? A tap. 530 00:29:16,740 --> 00:29:18,020 Tap? Yeah. 531 00:29:18,060 --> 00:29:20,620 'Only water... 532 00:29:20,660 --> 00:29:23,300 Is there another setting? 533 00:29:23,340 --> 00:29:25,460 Wait a minute. 534 00:29:25,500 --> 00:29:26,900 There we go. 535 00:29:28,020 --> 00:29:30,220 Ohh! 536 00:29:30,260 --> 00:29:32,380 Oh, yes, I'm on it! 537 00:29:37,180 --> 00:29:39,180 Well, sack that off. 538 00:29:39,220 --> 00:29:42,460 Doesn't have to go on the course, just has to cross the finish line. 539 00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:45,620 Do you have a different hose end? I think this might be a bit more... 540 00:29:45,660 --> 00:29:48,260 Ahh, mummy! 541 00:29:51,260 --> 00:29:53,260 Done it. Thank you, Iain. 542 00:29:53,300 --> 00:29:55,340 {\an1}Do you want to do it? 543 00:30:00,940 --> 00:30:03,060 {\an3}Put it in the bucket... 544 00:30:03,100 --> 00:30:04,660 OK... 545 00:30:11,460 --> 00:30:13,260 Oh, I'm stuck. 546 00:30:13,300 --> 00:30:15,580 Ooh, ooh, I'm away. I'm away. 547 00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:19,340 {\an3}Ooh, dear. 548 00:30:22,340 --> 00:30:23,740 Mummy! 549 00:30:23,780 --> 00:30:26,220 Yes! 550 00:30:26,260 --> 00:30:27,540 Whoo! 551 00:30:40,660 --> 00:30:43,060 Only Iain worked out you didn't have to follow the course. 552 00:30:43,100 --> 00:30:44,900 No, that was not within the rules. 553 00:30:44,940 --> 00:30:47,860 You just had to get it across the finishing line. Ohh! 554 00:30:47,900 --> 00:30:49,140 Ahh... 555 00:30:49,180 --> 00:30:53,460 {\an1}To give you an idea how well I feel this show has gone, 556 00:30:53,500 --> 00:30:55,860 {\an1}that's the best I think I've ever done 557 00:30:55,900 --> 00:30:58,340 and I ran into the start line. 558 00:31:01,580 --> 00:31:05,300 Lou. Another "Mummy" followed by, erm, 559 00:31:05,340 --> 00:31:09,460 making it look like you've got a big dick between your... 560 00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:12,220 Would you say I was the full package? 561 00:31:13,260 --> 00:31:15,100 You really are quite the catch. 562 00:31:16,460 --> 00:31:18,460 Do you want to know the time? Yes, please. 563 00:31:18,500 --> 00:31:21,180 I've done it terms of, if you boiled an egg for that long, 564 00:31:21,220 --> 00:31:23,660 what sort of an egg it would be. Go on. 565 00:31:23,700 --> 00:31:25,580 Er, boiled. 566 00:31:25,620 --> 00:31:28,180 Boiled. But we've still got a slightly runny yolk - 567 00:31:28,220 --> 00:31:29,980 five minutes 37. 568 00:31:30,020 --> 00:31:32,900 Right. Sian - her technique was similar to Lou. 569 00:31:32,940 --> 00:31:36,100 It was actually somehow slower, so liquid yolk, but less oozy - 570 00:31:36,140 --> 00:31:37,660 six minutes 40. 571 00:31:37,700 --> 00:31:39,940 Iain - cold egg - one minute 10! 572 00:31:39,980 --> 00:31:42,060 Whoa! 573 00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:43,540 Whoa. 574 00:31:43,580 --> 00:31:45,580 Yes. 575 00:31:45,620 --> 00:31:48,020 Lovely. Who's next? 576 00:31:48,060 --> 00:31:50,820 If you've got to move an inflatable ball, you'll ask for a hose, 577 00:31:50,860 --> 00:31:54,060 it's simple, really. Anyway, here's Joe Thomas. 578 00:31:58,420 --> 00:32:00,100 Arghh! 579 00:32:00,140 --> 00:32:02,300 OK, that's all right. 580 00:32:26,860 --> 00:32:29,460 That was a bit over the top, sorry. 581 00:32:29,500 --> 00:32:32,020 Is that the finishing line? 582 00:32:34,260 --> 00:32:36,100 Oh, fuck me! 583 00:32:37,860 --> 00:32:39,740 Just look up. 584 00:32:44,900 --> 00:32:46,260 Agh! 585 00:32:53,300 --> 00:32:54,940 No... 586 00:32:54,980 --> 00:32:58,100 That's made it worse. That's made it a lot worse! 587 00:33:03,140 --> 00:33:04,700 No! 588 00:33:04,740 --> 00:33:06,660 Oh, Christ... 589 00:33:06,700 --> 00:33:08,900 What have you got there, Joe? Er, ice. 590 00:33:08,940 --> 00:33:11,020 Is that all right? 591 00:33:12,100 --> 00:33:14,220 I'll just... 592 00:33:14,260 --> 00:33:16,340 It's not very effective, is it? 593 00:33:16,380 --> 00:33:18,460 There's, erm... 594 00:33:42,260 --> 00:33:44,300 You're getting style points. 595 00:33:44,340 --> 00:33:46,500 Oh, my life. 596 00:33:46,540 --> 00:33:48,820 I genuinely thought I'd done quite well on that. 597 00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:52,020 Really... It's as though I'd never heard of a hosepipe. 598 00:33:52,060 --> 00:33:54,340 I didn't even... Or a finishing line. 599 00:33:54,380 --> 00:33:56,220 You thought it was a finishing wall. 600 00:33:56,260 --> 00:33:59,460 Normally in the sprinting, there's the finish line, immediately a wall. 601 00:33:59,500 --> 00:34:00,900 Yeah... 602 00:34:00,940 --> 00:34:03,860 The ice though - genius. If only the ice had come first. 603 00:34:03,900 --> 00:34:07,900 Yeah, the ice I could've... had a go at it with the ice straight away. 604 00:34:07,940 --> 00:34:09,380 Erm... 605 00:34:09,420 --> 00:34:13,060 Oh, if you hadn't thrown 27 plant pots full of water 606 00:34:13,100 --> 00:34:14,860 against the ball first... 607 00:34:14,900 --> 00:34:17,780 There were eight trips to the kitchen to get water. 608 00:34:17,820 --> 00:34:21,620 You also got trapped by the garage with the ball for four minutes. 609 00:34:21,660 --> 00:34:23,660 No way out. 610 00:34:23,700 --> 00:34:26,100 I think this could be up to an hour. 611 00:34:26,140 --> 00:34:29,460 Well, you'll be surprised. The egg that he's boiling is now a stone, 612 00:34:29,500 --> 00:34:31,900 but it was only 16 minutes and 21. 613 00:34:31,940 --> 00:34:34,820 Wow. It felt like an hour. 614 00:34:38,140 --> 00:34:40,140 OK, we've reached the end of another part. 615 00:34:40,180 --> 00:34:44,300 Come back to see who wins the nice things to hold. Bye for now. 616 00:34:53,780 --> 00:34:56,380 Hello and welcome back to Taskmaster! 617 00:34:56,420 --> 00:34:59,980 Last part of the show, then. Here we go. Oh, yes. I'm so up for this. 618 00:35:00,020 --> 00:35:02,820 They're trying to get a... beach ball 619 00:35:02,860 --> 00:35:06,140 across a course and over the finishing line using only water. 620 00:35:06,180 --> 00:35:08,580 Lou, Iain and Sian used a hose, Joe went mad, 621 00:35:08,620 --> 00:35:11,900 finally up to the start line, it's Mr Squirty himself, 622 00:35:11,940 --> 00:35:14,140 Paul Sinha! 623 00:35:16,740 --> 00:35:18,540 HE BLOWS No. 624 00:35:19,940 --> 00:35:23,300 Is there a hose... pipe and a tap? 625 00:35:23,340 --> 00:35:26,420 Would you like a hose? Well, only if it's attached to a tap. 626 00:35:26,460 --> 00:35:28,380 It is. 627 00:35:31,940 --> 00:35:34,660 Oh, it can't be going backwards! 628 00:35:47,460 --> 00:35:49,460 Can I get you anything? 629 00:35:49,500 --> 00:35:51,980 Erm... 630 00:35:52,020 --> 00:35:54,620 My dignity? 631 00:35:54,660 --> 00:35:58,140 I'm going to put the finishing line together. OK. 632 00:36:04,940 --> 00:36:07,020 Need a hand, Paul? Yes, please. 633 00:36:33,220 --> 00:36:35,260 I've stopped the clock. 634 00:36:35,300 --> 00:36:37,220 'Thank you, Paul. 635 00:36:41,340 --> 00:36:44,700 A sympathy cheer if ever there was one. 636 00:36:44,740 --> 00:36:46,900 Great logic though with the finish line. 637 00:36:46,940 --> 00:36:50,500 Yeah. Your first attempt - were you trying to spit it up to the... 638 00:36:50,540 --> 00:36:53,300 I had no idea what the actual lightness of the ball was. 639 00:36:53,340 --> 00:36:55,580 Just thought "Is it possible to blow it?" 640 00:36:55,620 --> 00:37:00,260 Want to know how long it took him to make the ball go minus one metre? 641 00:37:00,300 --> 00:37:02,620 20 minutes. Ah, well, no. 642 00:37:02,660 --> 00:37:05,220 He made the classic hard-boiled egg suitable for a picnic - 643 00:37:05,260 --> 00:37:09,820 11 and a half minutes. Ahh! Not bad! Not bad. 644 00:37:11,180 --> 00:37:13,820 The slowest was actually Joe Thomas, so one point to him. 645 00:37:13,860 --> 00:37:17,500 Two to Paul, three to Lou, four to Sian, but the quickest by a distance 646 00:37:17,540 --> 00:37:19,700 was Mr Iain Stirling! 647 00:37:22,780 --> 00:37:25,860 Right, let's have a look at the scores before the final showdown. 648 00:37:25,900 --> 00:37:28,780 OK. The exciting news is that Paul, despite that, 649 00:37:28,820 --> 00:37:32,260 is still in with a shout of winning the episode. He's in second with 16, 650 00:37:32,300 --> 00:37:36,380 Iain is in the lead with 18 points! Yes, please, Paul Sinha! 651 00:37:39,260 --> 00:37:41,636 Right, it is time to stand up and march to the stage, please, 652 00:37:41,660 --> 00:37:43,980 for the final task of the show! 653 00:37:52,580 --> 00:37:55,180 Hello, everyone. Who's going to read the task out? 654 00:37:55,220 --> 00:37:59,140 I'd like Sian Gibson to read the task out, please. Right. 655 00:37:59,180 --> 00:38:03,340 "Complete the five-syllable word started by the Taskmaster." 656 00:38:03,380 --> 00:38:05,980 "Honk your horn if you think you know what word 657 00:38:06,020 --> 00:38:07,820 "the Taskmaster is going to say." 658 00:38:07,860 --> 00:38:11,300 "If you guess it correctly after one syllable, you get five points." 659 00:38:11,340 --> 00:38:13,620 "If you guess it after two syllables - four points." 660 00:38:13,660 --> 00:38:15,780 "Guess it after three syllables - three points." 661 00:38:15,820 --> 00:38:19,620 "Four - two. Guess it incorrectly, you lose all your points." 662 00:38:19,660 --> 00:38:22,660 "You may only guess once per word." 663 00:38:22,700 --> 00:38:25,700 "Highest score after ten words wins." 664 00:38:25,740 --> 00:38:29,820 OK. Just to clarify, each word will have five syllables eventually. 665 00:38:29,860 --> 00:38:32,980 It's up to you when you want to honk and guess. If you get it wrong, 666 00:38:33,020 --> 00:38:36,860 you must hold your horn on your head to indicate that you got it wrong. 667 00:38:36,900 --> 00:38:39,700 If you get it wrong, you lose all your points that you may have gained 668 00:38:39,740 --> 00:38:41,740 at any point during the task. Whoa. 669 00:38:41,780 --> 00:38:43,700 And it's winner takes all, this one. 670 00:38:43,740 --> 00:38:46,700 The winner gets five points, zero to everyone else. 671 00:38:46,740 --> 00:38:50,060 Ooh! Good luck. Word one. 672 00:38:50,100 --> 00:38:53,100 U... 673 00:38:53,140 --> 00:38:55,980 That's for five points. ..ni... Four points. 674 00:38:56,020 --> 00:38:59,140 HORN University. 675 00:38:59,180 --> 00:39:01,460 Incorrect. Horn on the head, thank you. 676 00:39:01,500 --> 00:39:04,420 ..ver... 677 00:39:04,460 --> 00:39:05,860 ..sa... PARPY HORN 678 00:39:05,900 --> 00:39:07,740 Ooh! 679 00:39:07,780 --> 00:39:10,500 Universal... ly? 680 00:39:10,540 --> 00:39:12,460 Is correct. 681 00:39:12,500 --> 00:39:15,020 'Two points to Sian Gibson! 682 00:39:16,140 --> 00:39:18,300 'Word two. 683 00:39:18,340 --> 00:39:20,540 U... ni... 684 00:39:20,580 --> 00:39:23,140 HORN University again. 685 00:39:23,180 --> 00:39:25,100 'He's got it! Correct! 686 00:39:27,980 --> 00:39:29,700 'Word three. 687 00:39:29,740 --> 00:39:32,260 Con... 688 00:39:33,900 --> 00:39:35,540 ..sta... 689 00:39:35,580 --> 00:39:38,620 That's Paul Sinha. Constabulary? 690 00:39:38,660 --> 00:39:41,620 Incorrect. Horn on the head. Horn on the head, please. 691 00:39:41,660 --> 00:39:44,500 ..ti... PARP 692 00:39:44,540 --> 00:39:47,580 'Constantinople. Correct! For three points! 693 00:39:47,620 --> 00:39:50,140 'That was great. 694 00:39:50,180 --> 00:39:52,300 'Word four. 695 00:39:52,340 --> 00:39:54,340 Co... 696 00:39:54,380 --> 00:39:56,060 ..lon... 697 00:39:56,100 --> 00:39:57,980 HORN Colonoscopy. 698 00:39:58,020 --> 00:40:00,700 'Correct. For four points! 699 00:40:00,740 --> 00:40:03,260 'Word five. 700 00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:04,700 A... 701 00:40:04,740 --> 00:40:06,580 ..bra... HORN 702 00:40:06,620 --> 00:40:09,500 'Abracadabra. Correct! Ohh! 703 00:40:11,740 --> 00:40:13,780 {\an4}For four. 704 00:40:13,820 --> 00:40:15,500 'Word six. 705 00:40:15,540 --> 00:40:16,860 An... 706 00:40:16,900 --> 00:40:19,380 SQUEAKY HORN Anatopinona... 707 00:40:20,500 --> 00:40:23,900 Oh, that's... The famous tennis player! 708 00:40:26,100 --> 00:40:27,940 ..ti... 709 00:40:27,980 --> 00:40:29,140 ..ci... 710 00:40:29,180 --> 00:40:30,740 HORN Anticipation. 711 00:40:30,780 --> 00:40:32,740 'Correct. 712 00:40:32,780 --> 00:40:35,180 {\an4}Three points. 713 00:40:35,220 --> 00:40:37,340 'Joe is off the mark. Word seven. 714 00:40:37,380 --> 00:40:39,700 Ve... 715 00:40:39,740 --> 00:40:40,860 ..ge... 716 00:40:42,660 --> 00:40:44,300 Vegetarian. Yes! 717 00:40:44,340 --> 00:40:47,140 'Correct! Four points! 718 00:40:47,180 --> 00:40:49,540 'Paul off the mark. 719 00:40:49,580 --> 00:40:52,060 And word eight. Hu... 720 00:40:52,100 --> 00:40:54,740 HORN Humanitarian. 721 00:40:54,780 --> 00:40:57,300 Incorrect. Horn on the head. 722 00:40:57,340 --> 00:41:00,100 ..mil... HORN 723 00:41:00,140 --> 00:41:01,580 Humiliation. 724 00:41:01,620 --> 00:41:04,420 'Correct! Correct, Paul! 725 00:41:04,460 --> 00:41:06,820 'He's catching! Ohh... 726 00:41:06,860 --> 00:41:08,700 'Uhh... 727 00:41:08,740 --> 00:41:10,300 'Word nine. 728 00:41:10,340 --> 00:41:11,820 Pro... 729 00:41:11,860 --> 00:41:14,660 HORN Prolapsed anus. 730 00:41:20,620 --> 00:41:23,180 That is four syllables, Lou! 731 00:41:24,900 --> 00:41:26,580 ..nun... 732 00:41:26,620 --> 00:41:28,260 {\an1}HORN That's Paul Sinha. 733 00:41:28,300 --> 00:41:30,740 'Pronunciation. Correct. Ooh! 734 00:41:30,780 --> 00:41:32,500 'You're neck and neck! 735 00:41:35,060 --> 00:41:38,180 'Iain and Paul both now have 12 points. How many words left? 736 00:41:38,220 --> 00:41:40,860 'Just one word. Word ten. And it's the perfect word. 737 00:41:40,900 --> 00:41:44,740 'OK, remember - you're in the lead in the episode. Paul, you're second. 738 00:41:44,780 --> 00:41:46,580 Ohh... 739 00:41:46,620 --> 00:41:48,940 An... 740 00:41:48,980 --> 00:41:50,940 ..ti... 741 00:41:50,980 --> 00:41:53,660 HORN An... 742 00:41:53,700 --> 00:41:55,500 Antipodean. 743 00:41:55,540 --> 00:41:56,740 No. 744 00:41:59,660 --> 00:42:01,420 ..cli... 745 00:42:02,900 --> 00:42:04,780 ..ma... HORN 746 00:42:04,820 --> 00:42:06,420 Anticlimactic. 747 00:42:06,460 --> 00:42:08,460 'Correct! He's done it! 748 00:42:10,700 --> 00:42:13,340 'Two points! That was good, that was good. 749 00:42:13,380 --> 00:42:16,180 'We'll add that up and add it to the final scores. 750 00:42:16,220 --> 00:42:19,260 Come and join us down here! Yay! 751 00:42:26,060 --> 00:42:29,060 Talk me through it, Alex. Iain, an incredible second place there. 752 00:42:29,100 --> 00:42:31,940 Yeah. But there was only one winner of the five points 753 00:42:31,980 --> 00:42:33,980 and that was Mr Paul Sinha! 754 00:42:36,140 --> 00:42:37,580 Yep. 755 00:42:37,620 --> 00:42:41,060 And that means... it's a historic occasion. 756 00:42:41,100 --> 00:42:43,540 Paul Sinha has 21 points 757 00:42:43,580 --> 00:42:45,500 and the episode! 758 00:42:49,460 --> 00:42:53,660 Paul Sinha wins the nice things to hold! 759 00:42:53,700 --> 00:42:56,180 Head up and hold them, Paul! 760 00:42:58,620 --> 00:43:00,900 So what have we learned today? 761 00:43:00,940 --> 00:43:03,380 We've learned that Taskmaster has been going so long now 762 00:43:03,420 --> 00:43:05,660 that we've forgotten some of our past contestants. 763 00:43:05,700 --> 00:43:08,060 So let's have a big shout-out to Predator, 764 00:43:08,100 --> 00:43:11,540 Big-Tooth Guy and The Old Chinese Man! 765 00:43:12,780 --> 00:43:15,340 And we learned that Paul Sinha 766 00:43:15,380 --> 00:43:17,860 has won an episode! 767 00:43:17,900 --> 00:43:20,020 What a victory! 768 00:43:20,060 --> 00:43:21,700 Thank you and good night! 769 00:43:45,100 --> 00:43:47,500 Subtitles by Red Bee Media