1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:02,914 [ROCK MUSIC] 2 00:00:02,939 --> 00:00:05,781 ♪♪ 3 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,382 Driver is a young male. 4 00:00:07,407 --> 00:00:10,252 Appears to be having a seizure. Ambulance requested. 5 00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:12,858 Yeah, these beats make me wanna rage! 6 00:00:12,883 --> 00:00:14,980 Grab me another vodka soda, bee-yatch! 7 00:00:15,005 --> 00:00:16,403 Don't see that every day, huh? 8 00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:19,102 Does that make you jelly, dawg? 9 00:00:19,127 --> 00:00:21,131 - Is this a concussion thing? - Sir, can your hear me? 10 00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,844 Ooh, ooh! Bloop-bloop. 11 00:00:22,869 --> 00:00:24,125 Phew, pew-pew! [BLOWS RASPBERRIES] 12 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,943 You gotta admit he's got some great moves. 13 00:00:25,968 --> 00:00:29,017 He looks like he's on a new synthetic club drug called Blast. 14 00:00:29,042 --> 00:00:31,648 The user hallucinates a complete nightclub setting. 15 00:00:31,673 --> 00:00:32,840 Lights, sound, everything. 16 00:00:32,865 --> 00:00:33,872 Yeah! 17 00:00:33,897 --> 00:00:35,718 It's your boy Mr. Toasty! 18 00:00:35,743 --> 00:00:37,277 I'm putting this on the Gram! 19 00:00:37,302 --> 00:00:38,480 I've heard of this stuff. 20 00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:40,800 It's like 75 bucks per dose. Kind of pricey. 21 00:00:40,825 --> 00:00:42,192 I mean, yes and no. 22 00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:44,394 Once you factor in cover charge, bottle service. 23 00:00:44,418 --> 00:00:45,728 Plus the cost of an Uber. 24 00:00:45,753 --> 00:00:46,997 - It adds up. - What are we gonna do? 25 00:00:47,021 --> 00:00:48,599 Maybe we have to wait until the song ends? 26 00:00:48,623 --> 00:00:50,509 All right, I say we go in slowly 27 00:00:50,534 --> 00:00:51,801 and pull him out gently. 28 00:00:51,826 --> 00:00:53,028 - Okay. - Come on, man. 29 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,053 Come with us. 30 00:00:54,078 --> 00:00:57,123 [DANCE MUSIC] 31 00:00:57,148 --> 00:01:01,148 ♪♪ 32 00:01:02,198 --> 00:01:04,109 Whoo! 33 00:01:04,134 --> 00:01:09,887 ♪♪ 34 00:01:10,166 --> 00:01:11,261 - Oh! - Stop. 35 00:01:11,286 --> 00:01:12,689 - Whoa! - All right, dude! 36 00:01:12,714 --> 00:01:14,224 Hey! St... calm down! 37 00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:15,704 Lucy, you must have some moves to get a guy 38 00:01:15,728 --> 00:01:16,729 to leave the club with you. 39 00:01:16,753 --> 00:01:18,373 Excuse me, Ike. 40 00:01:19,116 --> 00:01:21,470 Hey, buddy, has anyone ever told you 41 00:01:21,495 --> 00:01:23,464 you look like a young Tony Stark? 42 00:01:23,499 --> 00:01:25,835 - [GRUNTS] - BOTH: Oh! 43 00:01:25,860 --> 00:01:26,860 [COUGHS] 44 00:01:27,140 --> 00:01:28,838 BOTH: Oh! Oh! Oh! 45 00:01:28,863 --> 00:01:30,930 - [HORN HONKS] - Whoo! 46 00:01:30,955 --> 00:01:33,078 I wonder what happens on a second date. 47 00:01:33,668 --> 00:01:34,978 Are you okay? 48 00:01:35,003 --> 00:01:37,924 [FOREIGNER'S "HOT BLOODED"] 49 00:01:37,949 --> 00:01:41,949 ♪♪ 50 00:01:42,421 --> 00:01:45,306 ♪ Well, I'm hot blooded ♪ 51 00:01:45,331 --> 00:01:47,857 ♪ Check it and see ♪ 52 00:01:47,882 --> 00:01:51,795 ♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪ 53 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,167 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 54 00:01:55,089 --> 00:01:57,805 [MELLOW MUSIC] 55 00:01:57,830 --> 00:02:00,337 - Oh! - There she is! 56 00:02:00,362 --> 00:02:02,672 Lucy McConky, Judo Probie! 57 00:02:02,697 --> 00:02:04,198 Wow. That's quite a neck-shiner. 58 00:02:04,223 --> 00:02:05,289 You know what? Rub some dirt in it. 59 00:02:05,313 --> 00:02:07,344 - You'll be fine. - Does that hurt at all, Luce? 60 00:02:07,369 --> 00:02:08,813 [DEEP VOICE] Only when I breathe or swallow. 61 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,280 - ALL: Whoa! - What's that all about? 62 00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:13,217 When the zonked-out driver whacked me in the throat, 63 00:02:13,241 --> 00:02:14,489 he contused my larynx. 64 00:02:14,514 --> 00:02:16,286 The doctor said I should be better in a week or two. 65 00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:18,022 You're gonna sound like that for two weeks? 66 00:02:18,046 --> 00:02:19,352 Yeah, give or take a couple of days, 67 00:02:19,376 --> 00:02:21,838 but he said it's gonna get worse before it gets better. 68 00:02:21,863 --> 00:02:23,493 I can't wait for it to get worse. 69 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:25,365 It's a little disturbing. 70 00:02:25,390 --> 00:02:27,749 Are you crazy, Chief? This is entertaining as hell. 71 00:02:27,774 --> 00:02:29,300 Hey, do the movie trailer voice for him. 72 00:02:29,324 --> 00:02:30,657 Ooh! 73 00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:33,557 In a world full of fear, 74 00:02:33,582 --> 00:02:36,305 where right is wrong and up is down, 75 00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:39,732 one man has the courage to take on the system. 76 00:02:39,757 --> 00:02:41,644 - Oh! - Whoa! 77 00:02:41,669 --> 00:02:43,403 - Oh, no way! - Oh! 78 00:02:43,428 --> 00:02:46,164 Do, uh, "Autobots, transform and roll out!" 79 00:02:46,189 --> 00:02:48,652 Autobots, transform and roll out! 80 00:02:48,676 --> 00:02:51,254 Oh! Optimus Prime is here! 81 00:02:51,279 --> 00:02:53,409 Beef. It's what's for dinner. 82 00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:55,615 Beef. It's what's for dinner. 83 00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:58,261 - [LAUGHS] - Yes! 84 00:02:58,286 --> 00:02:59,730 Okay, come on. Let's go, everybody. 85 00:02:59,754 --> 00:03:01,674 Back to work. Come on. Let's go. 86 00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:03,317 Oh, there he is. 87 00:03:03,342 --> 00:03:04,987 Oh, Ka'ponko. There you are! 88 00:03:05,012 --> 00:03:08,204 - Are you all right? - Hey, hey, hey, hey. 89 00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:10,273 Hey, hey, hey. Yes, yes. 90 00:03:10,298 --> 00:03:11,405 I'm fine. Why? 91 00:03:11,430 --> 00:03:12,876 We heard there was a big scuffle 92 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,500 after that car crash this morning. 93 00:03:14,525 --> 00:03:15,969 Uh, how did you hear about that? 94 00:03:15,994 --> 00:03:17,611 Well, your sister and I saw it on the internet. 95 00:03:17,635 --> 00:03:19,342 It's all over that Nextdoor neighborhood app. 96 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,496 They said that the firefighters 97 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,086 were being attacked by somebody on synthetic party drugs. 98 00:03:23,111 --> 00:03:24,954 I heard the guy lifted up a car! 99 00:03:24,979 --> 00:03:27,606 You guys have to get off that Nextdoor app, okay? 100 00:03:27,631 --> 00:03:30,331 No, you need to leave the firefighting business. 101 00:03:30,356 --> 00:03:31,755 It's too dangerous. 102 00:03:31,780 --> 00:03:33,697 One of these days, you're gonna get yourself killed. 103 00:03:33,721 --> 00:03:34,832 Okay, well, why don't you 104 00:03:34,856 --> 00:03:36,423 stick to your day job, Kailani? 105 00:03:36,448 --> 00:03:37,942 Because I've already got a mother. 106 00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:39,679 [LAUGHTER] 107 00:03:39,704 --> 00:03:41,905 - Oh, I made it light. - Very funny. 108 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,241 Now, are you going to come to the salon tonight? 109 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:45,642 Yes, of course. I'll see you tonight. 110 00:03:45,666 --> 00:03:47,412 - Okay, we'll see you tonight. - Okay. Okay. 111 00:03:47,437 --> 00:03:48,845 Okay, Mom! 112 00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:50,780 - Hey. - Whoa. 113 00:03:50,805 --> 00:03:52,405 Please be careful out there. 114 00:03:52,540 --> 00:03:55,100 Okay. Stop worrying. 115 00:03:55,125 --> 00:03:56,310 Okay. 116 00:03:56,335 --> 00:03:58,623 What's the matter with you, fart-face, Mom? 117 00:03:58,925 --> 00:04:01,324 - I'll see you guys tonight. - Be careful. 118 00:04:01,349 --> 00:04:02,548 ♪♪ 119 00:04:02,573 --> 00:04:04,716 Eddie! Come here. 120 00:04:04,741 --> 00:04:06,280 Chiefy, what's up? 121 00:04:06,305 --> 00:04:08,926 Did you order that tetherball pole like I asked? 122 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,734 See, I can't tell if you're serious about that or not. 123 00:04:10,758 --> 00:04:12,002 - Tetherball? - Yeah. 124 00:04:12,026 --> 00:04:13,625 I love tetherball. It's great for morale. 125 00:04:13,649 --> 00:04:15,806 It's great for cardio. It's consistently rated one of 126 00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:17,408 the most wholesome activities in the United States. 127 00:04:17,432 --> 00:04:19,239 - You play tetherball? - I love tetherball. 128 00:04:19,264 --> 00:04:20,694 - I'm gonna order it... - Okay. 129 00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,612 And pay with station money at this moment 130 00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,547 if you officially authorize it. 131 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:25,809 Authorized. 132 00:04:25,834 --> 00:04:28,351 Now, because Lucy required medical attention, 133 00:04:28,376 --> 00:04:30,079 I have to file traumatic event paperwork. 134 00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:31,794 Oh, I find all paperwork traumatic. 135 00:04:31,819 --> 00:04:33,823 [LAUGHS] I'll be here all week. 136 00:04:33,848 --> 00:04:35,869 But seriously, folks, 137 00:04:35,894 --> 00:04:37,805 we have to have a critical incident stress debriefing. 138 00:04:37,829 --> 00:04:39,028 Who's gonna lead that? 139 00:04:39,053 --> 00:04:41,565 The designated peer counselor, me. 140 00:04:41,589 --> 00:04:44,434 I find it amazing that you are the station peer counselor. 141 00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:46,637 I find it amazing that I have to remind you 142 00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:48,519 that I am woke AF. 143 00:04:48,544 --> 00:04:49,551 I don't know what that means. 144 00:04:49,575 --> 00:04:51,776 It means I am very in touch with my feelings, 145 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,350 and I'm gonna help everyone else get there too. 146 00:04:54,478 --> 00:04:56,245 Okay, I guess we've come a long way 147 00:04:56,270 --> 00:04:57,737 from the suck-it-up machismo days. 148 00:04:57,762 --> 00:04:59,073 - Yeah. - You know what? 149 00:04:59,098 --> 00:05:00,461 Don't spend too much time on this Lucy thing. 150 00:05:00,485 --> 00:05:01,674 It's not that big of a deal. 151 00:05:01,699 --> 00:05:03,632 I'm gonna take as much time as needed, okay? 152 00:05:03,657 --> 00:05:05,255 It's important for us to talk about this stuff. 153 00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:06,746 Okay. You're right. You're right. 154 00:05:06,771 --> 00:05:08,458 Don't forget about that tetherball pole! 155 00:05:08,927 --> 00:05:11,260 Yes, I'd like to make an appointment for a pap smear 156 00:05:11,285 --> 00:05:12,662 and a mammogram. 157 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:15,789 It's for me. Lucy McConky. 158 00:05:17,103 --> 00:05:19,602 No. I'm Lucy McConky. 159 00:05:19,627 --> 00:05:21,536 [LAUGHTER] 160 00:05:21,561 --> 00:05:23,872 "I'm Lucifer McConky." [LAUGHTER] 161 00:05:23,897 --> 00:05:24,935 Heads up, everybody. 162 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:26,500 Because of this morning's accident, 163 00:05:26,525 --> 00:05:28,878 we have to have a critical incident stress debriefing. 164 00:05:28,903 --> 00:05:31,248 So we need to talk to a peer counselor. 165 00:05:31,273 --> 00:05:32,483 It's now S.O.P. 166 00:05:32,507 --> 00:05:34,594 Aw, is it really necessary for this one, though, Chief? 167 00:05:34,618 --> 00:05:36,962 Yeah, I'm the one who got hurt, and I think it's hilarious. 168 00:05:36,987 --> 00:05:38,663 Then all you need to do is talk to the counselor. 169 00:05:38,687 --> 00:05:40,090 Well, who's the peer counselor? 170 00:05:40,114 --> 00:05:42,238 Some touchy-feely dude in a cardigan sweater. 171 00:05:42,263 --> 00:05:43,701 - Guaranteed. - [CHUCKLES] 172 00:05:43,726 --> 00:05:45,344 "I'm Dr. Benjamin Nesmith, 173 00:05:45,369 --> 00:05:48,157 and I'm here to get you in touch with your emotions." 174 00:05:48,758 --> 00:05:51,300 My name is Dr. Leslie Tenderheart, 175 00:05:51,325 --> 00:05:53,211 and we gonna use these two here dolls 176 00:05:53,236 --> 00:05:54,990 to act out our emotions, okay? 177 00:05:55,015 --> 00:05:56,682 I'm the peer counselor. 178 00:05:56,707 --> 00:05:58,041 [LAUGHTER] 179 00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,465 That would be amazing. 180 00:05:59,490 --> 00:06:01,703 I don't think you get what the riff is, Cap. 181 00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,904 You're supposed to come up with, like, a wimpy name 182 00:06:03,929 --> 00:06:05,206 and a... and a voice. 183 00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:07,480 - You're missing the riff. - I am missing the riff, aren't I? 184 00:06:07,504 --> 00:06:08,679 I got the riff. 185 00:06:08,704 --> 00:06:10,987 But I'm the certified peer counselor for this station. 186 00:06:11,012 --> 00:06:12,730 I am gonna lead the sessions. 187 00:06:12,755 --> 00:06:14,933 I mean, there's no way I can take Captain seriously 188 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,225 as a therapist. 189 00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:17,649 How does this make you feel? 190 00:06:17,674 --> 00:06:20,802 How does this make you feel? Ayy! 191 00:06:20,827 --> 00:06:21,865 Here's your choice. 192 00:06:21,890 --> 00:06:22,891 You can wrap hoses all day 193 00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:24,719 or you can drink coffee and chat with me. 194 00:06:24,744 --> 00:06:27,336 I guess it's Eddie Penisi, Peer Counselor! 195 00:06:27,361 --> 00:06:29,250 Tuesdays at 9:00 on the Discovery Channel. 196 00:06:29,275 --> 00:06:32,341 - Ooh, yes. - That voice is so good! 197 00:06:35,468 --> 00:06:37,147 So how do you guys feel about 198 00:06:37,171 --> 00:06:38,907 what happened this morning? 199 00:06:40,552 --> 00:06:42,819 No? Okay, I'll make it easier. 200 00:06:42,844 --> 00:06:44,317 Just one word. 201 00:06:44,342 --> 00:06:47,521 One word to describe how you felt when Lucy got belted. 202 00:06:47,546 --> 00:06:49,553 - Hungry. - Gassy. 203 00:06:49,578 --> 00:06:51,244 - Badass. - Itchy. 204 00:06:51,269 --> 00:06:52,843 All right. Come on, guys. Let's go. Come on. 205 00:06:52,867 --> 00:06:54,336 No, no. That's okay, Chief. 206 00:06:54,361 --> 00:06:56,458 I used to be like this too. It's part of the process. 207 00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:58,017 Let's just ease into it. 208 00:06:58,145 --> 00:07:00,369 We can talk about whatever's on your minds. 209 00:07:00,394 --> 00:07:02,595 Jeez, I mean, I... I guess can jump in 210 00:07:02,620 --> 00:07:06,289 and say, uh, my parents never bought me 211 00:07:06,314 --> 00:07:07,524 a ten-speed bicycle. 212 00:07:07,549 --> 00:07:09,868 - Oh! - Oh, what a life, Ike! 213 00:07:09,893 --> 00:07:12,181 - Oh, my God! - Oh, that's sad. 214 00:07:12,206 --> 00:07:14,006 I guess I'll also go then. I mean... 215 00:07:14,031 --> 00:07:16,920 I can't eat dessert unless I finish my dinner. 216 00:07:16,945 --> 00:07:18,388 - No! - [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] 217 00:07:18,412 --> 00:07:19,990 That's getting deep right there! 218 00:07:20,014 --> 00:07:21,579 All right, I got something. 219 00:07:21,604 --> 00:07:22,884 I've never seen "Breaking Bad," 220 00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:24,510 and I'm afraid that if I watch it now, 221 00:07:24,535 --> 00:07:26,146 it's gonna feel overhyped. 222 00:07:27,689 --> 00:07:29,929 - BOTH: Are you kidding me? - Are you kidding me right now? 223 00:07:29,953 --> 00:07:31,802 [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] 224 00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,537 It is literally the greatest show 225 00:07:33,561 --> 00:07:35,004 in the history of television. 226 00:07:35,029 --> 00:07:37,007 You mean as far as modern television, right? 227 00:07:37,031 --> 00:07:38,409 Don't start with the "Punky Brewster" stuff. 228 00:07:38,433 --> 00:07:40,944 - It still holds up, man! - Andy, "Punky Brewster" 229 00:07:40,969 --> 00:07:42,146 is not better than "Breaking Bad." 230 00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,369 Okay, agree to disagree. 231 00:07:43,394 --> 00:07:44,948 Lucy, have you seen "Punky Brewster"? 232 00:07:44,973 --> 00:07:46,296 - No. - You've never seen 233 00:07:46,321 --> 00:07:48,539 - "Punky Brewster"? - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 234 00:07:48,564 --> 00:07:50,964 [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] 235 00:07:50,989 --> 00:07:52,922 ♪♪ 236 00:07:52,947 --> 00:07:54,709 Mmm! Wow, Mom! 237 00:07:54,734 --> 00:07:56,311 This buffalo poi is amazing. 238 00:07:56,336 --> 00:07:57,914 You've gotta start selling this stuff. 239 00:07:57,939 --> 00:07:59,389 No way, Jose! 240 00:07:59,414 --> 00:08:00,723 - [RIP] - Oh! 241 00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,832 That's a secret family recipe. 242 00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,933 So you're gonna find a safer job? 243 00:08:04,958 --> 00:08:06,921 [SCOFFS] What are you talking about, Kailani? 244 00:08:06,946 --> 00:08:08,772 I'm not gonna stop being a firefighter. 245 00:08:08,797 --> 00:08:10,574 Well, if you think we were gonna wax your butt 246 00:08:10,598 --> 00:08:12,722 for your open-casket funeral, then you're mistaken! 247 00:08:12,747 --> 00:08:13,747 Whoa, whoa! 248 00:08:13,772 --> 00:08:15,605 What's going on with you, Kailani? 249 00:08:15,630 --> 00:08:17,809 And why would you think that people would see my naked butt 250 00:08:17,833 --> 00:08:20,517 in an open-casket funeral? [CHUCKLES] 251 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,957 There's something that you need to know, Ka'ponko. 252 00:08:22,982 --> 00:08:24,165 Uh, this morning when we thought 253 00:08:24,189 --> 00:08:25,522 something happened to you, 254 00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:28,256 we realized that it would be a tragedy 255 00:08:28,282 --> 00:08:30,475 if... if you died without knowing the truth. 256 00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,244 Wait. What truth? 257 00:08:32,487 --> 00:08:33,797 Uh... 258 00:08:33,822 --> 00:08:35,939 I am not your mother. 259 00:08:36,238 --> 00:08:38,104 Kailani is. 260 00:08:38,872 --> 00:08:40,626 [SCOFFS] Okay, what is this? 261 00:08:40,651 --> 00:08:42,445 "Star Wars"? "I am not your mother." 262 00:08:42,470 --> 00:08:44,474 I had you when I was just 16 years old. 263 00:08:44,499 --> 00:08:47,500 So we decided it would be best if we raised you 264 00:08:47,525 --> 00:08:49,525 thinking she was your mother and I was your sister. 265 00:08:52,422 --> 00:08:54,083 Are you serious? 266 00:08:54,307 --> 00:08:56,219 And the man that you know as Cousin Bill 267 00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:57,891 is actually your father. 268 00:08:57,916 --> 00:08:59,614 That's why he gives you a five dollar bill 269 00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:00,691 in your birthday card every year. 270 00:09:00,715 --> 00:09:03,119 Why did you wait to tell me after the accident? 271 00:09:03,144 --> 00:09:04,929 Well, it was a family secret! 272 00:09:04,954 --> 00:09:06,896 No, no. Buffalo poi is a family secret. 273 00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,298 This is something bigger than that. 274 00:09:08,322 --> 00:09:09,967 You just have to get over it, all right? 275 00:09:09,991 --> 00:09:11,620 The sooner we stop talking about this, 276 00:09:11,645 --> 00:09:12,978 the sooner we can move on. 277 00:09:13,003 --> 00:09:14,781 We just started talking about this! 278 00:09:14,806 --> 00:09:16,583 That's just the way it is. 279 00:09:16,608 --> 00:09:18,373 Do not touch me! 280 00:09:18,867 --> 00:09:21,383 Ow, ow, ow! 281 00:09:21,408 --> 00:09:23,208 [RIP] 282 00:09:23,445 --> 00:09:25,582 My asshole... 283 00:09:32,998 --> 00:09:35,224 [ROCK MUSIC] 284 00:09:35,249 --> 00:09:36,249 All right, everybody, 285 00:09:36,274 --> 00:09:38,201 let's take this session very seriously 286 00:09:38,226 --> 00:09:40,937 and not say things we think Eddie wants to hear 287 00:09:40,962 --> 00:09:43,430 because we want to get it over with. 288 00:09:43,658 --> 00:09:45,125 Huh? 289 00:09:45,150 --> 00:09:46,963 Counselor Penisi, take it away. 290 00:09:46,988 --> 00:09:49,189 Great intro, Chief. Thank you very much. 291 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,792 Lucy's accident reminded me 292 00:09:50,817 --> 00:09:52,661 that firefighters are vulnerable. 293 00:09:52,686 --> 00:09:54,553 Anybody else feel that way? 294 00:09:55,013 --> 00:09:56,314 Look, I know we're all a bunch 295 00:09:56,338 --> 00:09:58,032 of tough sons-of-bitches here. 296 00:09:58,057 --> 00:10:00,450 We help people, so we don't need help. 297 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,212 We shouldn't have insecurities. 298 00:10:02,237 --> 00:10:04,454 So let me tell you about my insecurity. 299 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:05,930 All right, you may not know this, 300 00:10:05,955 --> 00:10:07,812 but I have always been neurotic 301 00:10:07,837 --> 00:10:09,775 about being on the shorter side 302 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,060 by firefighter standards. 303 00:10:11,085 --> 00:10:12,463 - Hey. - Oh, come on. 304 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:13,846 - You should play basketball. - Yeah, right. 305 00:10:13,870 --> 00:10:16,666 Okay, but when I was starting out, 306 00:10:16,691 --> 00:10:18,201 I wanted to be respected. 307 00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:20,857 Especially 'cause my dad was a hot shot within the department. 308 00:10:20,882 --> 00:10:23,229 I was afraid that a lot of the older guys 309 00:10:23,254 --> 00:10:25,588 were gonna make fun of me for being short. 310 00:10:26,815 --> 00:10:29,986 And truthfully, some of 'em did. 311 00:10:30,233 --> 00:10:32,767 So I... 312 00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:37,887 Made love to a lot of their wives and girlfriends. 313 00:10:37,912 --> 00:10:39,179 And that helped. 314 00:10:39,204 --> 00:10:41,372 That helped a lot, actually. 315 00:10:42,032 --> 00:10:43,475 Now I feel bad about it 316 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:46,496 because I threw some A game around town. 317 00:10:46,686 --> 00:10:49,356 I gotta tell you, I've never spoken about that, but... 318 00:10:49,381 --> 00:10:51,064 [SIGHS] 319 00:10:51,089 --> 00:10:53,947 It feels really good to get off my chest. 320 00:10:53,972 --> 00:10:56,213 I had a weird dream last night. 321 00:10:56,411 --> 00:10:58,611 Still pretty shaken up about it. 322 00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,966 I was on a train. 323 00:11:01,069 --> 00:11:02,869 It was going really fast, 324 00:11:02,894 --> 00:11:05,448 and we were approaching a tunnel. 325 00:11:05,473 --> 00:11:07,513 And just as we were about to enter it, 326 00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,679 the train went into reverse, 327 00:11:10,344 --> 00:11:12,286 and it backed out of the tunnel. 328 00:11:13,153 --> 00:11:17,107 And then it lurched itself back into the tunnel. 329 00:11:17,132 --> 00:11:18,824 And it was totally out of control. 330 00:11:18,849 --> 00:11:21,525 It was moving forward and backward. 331 00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:23,332 Forward and backward. 332 00:11:23,357 --> 00:11:25,121 - That's a sex dream. - No, it wasn't. 333 00:11:25,159 --> 00:11:26,562 It was terrifying. 334 00:11:26,587 --> 00:11:29,095 And then to make matters worse, 335 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,846 somebody spilt their milk all over me. 336 00:11:30,871 --> 00:11:32,982 Okay, thank you. Thank you, Granny. 337 00:11:33,007 --> 00:11:34,250 Trains can be scary. 338 00:11:34,275 --> 00:11:36,287 - Um... - Yeah. 339 00:11:37,369 --> 00:11:39,082 As an exotic dancer, 340 00:11:39,107 --> 00:11:41,908 sometimes I feel subjectified. 341 00:11:41,933 --> 00:11:43,043 Objectified. 342 00:11:43,068 --> 00:11:44,224 No, no. Subjectified. 343 00:11:44,249 --> 00:11:47,356 Like I'm just subject to all this constant attention 344 00:11:47,381 --> 00:11:48,554 by beautiful women. 345 00:11:48,579 --> 00:11:50,891 They wanna give me money and, you know, 346 00:11:50,916 --> 00:11:53,567 like, a fur coat or an Xbox. 347 00:11:53,592 --> 00:11:54,872 Why don't you just quit? 348 00:11:54,897 --> 00:11:56,673 'Cause I love the money. 349 00:11:57,659 --> 00:11:59,769 I guess, and the attention. 350 00:11:59,794 --> 00:12:01,370 Like for instance, okay, 351 00:12:01,395 --> 00:12:03,307 the other day, this lady paid me 352 00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:05,149 to paint her daughter's bedroom 353 00:12:05,174 --> 00:12:06,666 wearing nothing but a G-string. 354 00:12:06,691 --> 00:12:09,060 So I did it, and I'm like, "Okay, wait. 355 00:12:09,085 --> 00:12:12,916 Am I a dancer, or am I a painter?" 356 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,232 You know? 357 00:12:14,257 --> 00:12:16,235 Like, I was having an indemnity crisis. 358 00:12:16,260 --> 00:12:18,107 - Identity crisis. - No, indemnity. 359 00:12:18,132 --> 00:12:19,590 Like if I felt like if I did a poor job 360 00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,652 painting her bedroom, I'd be held financially responsible. 361 00:12:21,676 --> 00:12:23,250 Okay. Good share, Ike. 362 00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:24,928 Speaking of daughters, 363 00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:28,154 Terry, let's talk about the Lucy incident. 364 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,600 My sister is my mother! 365 00:12:30,641 --> 00:12:31,905 Say again? 366 00:12:31,930 --> 00:12:33,653 After the Lucy incident, 367 00:12:33,678 --> 00:12:37,540 my mother and sister were so worried about me dying 368 00:12:37,565 --> 00:12:39,832 that they confessed that my sister had me 369 00:12:39,857 --> 00:12:41,352 when she was 16, 370 00:12:41,377 --> 00:12:44,370 and they've been pretending that I'm her little brother. 371 00:12:44,395 --> 00:12:47,173 - Whoa. - No, woe is me. 372 00:12:47,198 --> 00:12:49,532 Because my whole childhood is twisted. 373 00:12:49,599 --> 00:12:51,910 Also I just realized that I went to senior prom 374 00:12:51,935 --> 00:12:53,642 with my mom. 375 00:12:53,914 --> 00:12:56,225 And I've been getting my butt waxed this whole time 376 00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:57,650 by my grandmother! 377 00:12:57,675 --> 00:12:59,829 Can we just circle back to the... the prom thing? 378 00:12:59,854 --> 00:13:02,767 Did you say you went to senior prom with your sister? 379 00:13:02,791 --> 00:13:04,056 The worst part about it 380 00:13:04,081 --> 00:13:06,836 is that I can't even talk about it. 381 00:13:06,861 --> 00:13:08,928 They just want me to forget it 382 00:13:08,953 --> 00:13:10,931 and don't make it a big deal. 383 00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:13,068 Hang on, they won't even let you talk about it? 384 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:14,644 No, Cap! 385 00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:17,390 They just say, "Push it down, Ka'ponko! 386 00:13:17,415 --> 00:13:19,050 Push it down!" 387 00:13:19,075 --> 00:13:22,244 Andy, you need to have it out with them tonight. 388 00:13:22,475 --> 00:13:23,707 - [RIPS] - Ah! 389 00:13:23,732 --> 00:13:26,044 I don't understand why you won't help me process this. 390 00:13:26,069 --> 00:13:27,791 Don't you see how hard this is for me? 391 00:13:27,816 --> 00:13:29,527 This must be your first Brazilian. 392 00:13:29,551 --> 00:13:31,897 Yeah, this patch is way stubborn. 393 00:13:31,922 --> 00:13:33,526 - Ah! - Come on! 394 00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,329 When I was 12 years old looking through 395 00:13:35,354 --> 00:13:37,667 the peephole into my sister's room, I was actually 396 00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:39,644 watching my mother hook up with her boyfriend. 397 00:13:39,669 --> 00:13:41,560 You know what, this is hard for me, too, all right? 398 00:13:41,584 --> 00:13:44,355 Yesterday I was a mother, today I'm a grandmother. 399 00:13:44,380 --> 00:13:46,214 I'm too young to be a grandmother! 400 00:13:46,239 --> 00:13:47,342 - [RIPS] - Okay. 401 00:13:47,367 --> 00:13:48,934 Feet, back, nipples done. 402 00:13:48,959 --> 00:13:50,149 Come on! 403 00:13:50,174 --> 00:13:51,411 Sorry for the distractions. 404 00:13:51,436 --> 00:13:53,279 My son was just leaving! 405 00:13:53,304 --> 00:13:54,478 I'm not going anywhere. 406 00:13:54,503 --> 00:13:56,285 Oh! Whew! 407 00:13:56,310 --> 00:13:58,743 Hiya, Myawani. Whew! 408 00:13:58,768 --> 00:14:00,533 You mom-sister and grandma-mom 409 00:14:00,558 --> 00:14:01,756 give good wax. 410 00:14:01,781 --> 00:14:03,292 And great family drama. 411 00:14:03,317 --> 00:14:04,517 Better than the soap operas 412 00:14:04,542 --> 00:14:06,362 I watch at home with my mother. 413 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,187 See you girls next month. 414 00:14:08,684 --> 00:14:10,414 I have no mother. 415 00:14:10,741 --> 00:14:12,369 I have no grandma either. 416 00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:14,438 Wha... [SCOFFS] 417 00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:16,997 - Do a cow. - Moo! 418 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,527 [LAUGHTER] 419 00:14:18,552 --> 00:14:21,174 - Do a frog. - Ribbit! Ribbit! 420 00:14:21,199 --> 00:14:22,899 Oh, a gorilla, a gorilla! Do a gorilla! 421 00:14:22,924 --> 00:14:24,914 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! 422 00:14:24,939 --> 00:14:26,650 [LAUGHTER] 423 00:14:26,674 --> 00:14:31,013 [COUGHING] 424 00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:32,993 Hey, Chief, we still going 425 00:14:33,018 --> 00:14:34,795 furniture shopping together this weekend? 426 00:14:34,820 --> 00:14:38,128 Uh, my weekend's starting to fill up a little bit. 427 00:14:38,152 --> 00:14:40,986 I got some things with your sisters I've gotta do... 428 00:14:41,011 --> 00:14:42,161 What? We made plans. 429 00:14:42,186 --> 00:14:44,273 And I thought we could go do karaoke afterwards. 430 00:14:44,298 --> 00:14:45,768 Is your voice getting lower? 431 00:14:45,793 --> 00:14:48,357 Yeah, I told you it was gonna get worse before it got better. 432 00:14:48,382 --> 00:14:50,765 [GRUNTING, COUGHING] 433 00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,475 You hear that? I just... 434 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:53,673 I think I just heard 435 00:14:53,698 --> 00:14:55,409 some pizza rolls in the microwave. 436 00:14:55,434 --> 00:14:56,938 The one in my office. 437 00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:58,582 Uh, I'm just gonna... 438 00:14:58,666 --> 00:15:00,533 I'm gonna grab them. 439 00:15:00,589 --> 00:15:02,389 I'll be right back. 440 00:15:02,595 --> 00:15:04,353 We have pizza rolls? 441 00:15:04,378 --> 00:15:05,890 Hey, Chief, bring some back! 442 00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:08,205 Terry, Terry, Terry, Terry. 443 00:15:08,230 --> 00:15:09,508 Hang on. 444 00:15:10,888 --> 00:15:12,562 I'd love it if you'd share today. 445 00:15:12,587 --> 00:15:14,219 Why? I wasn't even at the accident. 446 00:15:14,244 --> 00:15:15,765 The accident involved your daughter. 447 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:18,103 - I'm fine, Eddie. - I know. I know. 448 00:15:18,128 --> 00:15:20,370 Sometimes there's things hiding inside 449 00:15:20,395 --> 00:15:21,527 that we don't know about 450 00:15:21,552 --> 00:15:23,014 that come out when we talk about them. 451 00:15:23,038 --> 00:15:24,175 You want me to share right now? 452 00:15:24,199 --> 00:15:25,442 Is that what you want? Huh? 453 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:27,578 Okay. [MOCKS CRYING] 454 00:15:27,602 --> 00:15:29,790 I can't believe you haven't ordered the tetherball pole! 455 00:15:29,814 --> 00:15:32,014 [MOCKS CRYING] Is that what you want? 456 00:15:32,039 --> 00:15:34,674 - For me to cry? - Terry, please. 457 00:15:34,699 --> 00:15:36,837 - I've seen you cry a million times. - Bullshit! 458 00:15:36,862 --> 00:15:38,455 You cried when Ichiro retired. 459 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,953 - Prove it. - I have it on video. 460 00:15:39,978 --> 00:15:42,010 You're lucky I'm even sitting in on those sessions. 461 00:15:42,035 --> 00:15:44,594 Why don't you go use your Oprah routine with Andy? 462 00:15:44,619 --> 00:15:46,515 Focus on people with real problems, 463 00:15:46,540 --> 00:15:47,820 'cause I don't have any. 464 00:15:49,130 --> 00:15:50,729 Okay. 465 00:15:53,061 --> 00:15:54,156 Okay, gang, 466 00:15:54,181 --> 00:15:55,739 we're gonna try something a little different today. 467 00:15:55,763 --> 00:15:57,141 We're gonna do some roleplaying. 468 00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:58,669 - Ooh. - Kinky. 469 00:15:58,694 --> 00:16:00,837 And I brought some special guests. 470 00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,154 Ladies, come on in. 471 00:16:03,983 --> 00:16:05,885 Whoa. Super kinky. 472 00:16:05,910 --> 00:16:07,417 Hey, what is this? 473 00:16:07,442 --> 00:16:09,187 Don't worry. You don't have to do anything. 474 00:16:09,212 --> 00:16:10,754 I just want you to watch, okay? 475 00:16:10,779 --> 00:16:12,422 Come on. Guys, come on up here. 476 00:16:12,447 --> 00:16:13,747 Ladies, go have a seat. 477 00:16:15,117 --> 00:16:16,552 - Okay, Ikie. - Yeah. 478 00:16:16,577 --> 00:16:19,028 - You are gonna play Kailani. - Oh, cool! 479 00:16:19,053 --> 00:16:20,098 [MIMICS GUNS SHOOTING] 480 00:16:20,122 --> 00:16:22,765 Granny, you're gonna play grandma. 481 00:16:22,790 --> 00:16:23,988 It is such an honor. 482 00:16:24,013 --> 00:16:26,245 Andy, you're gonna be you, okay? 483 00:16:26,270 --> 00:16:27,605 Now you can say what you want to say. 484 00:16:27,629 --> 00:16:30,670 Uh, should we do the accents, or is that problematic? 485 00:16:30,695 --> 00:16:32,094 Your choice. 486 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:33,577 We weren't sure. 487 00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:35,200 I don't think this is gonna end well. 488 00:16:35,225 --> 00:16:37,329 You've hurt me on so many levels. 489 00:16:37,354 --> 00:16:39,783 One, that you've kept it from me. 490 00:16:39,808 --> 00:16:42,475 And two, that we can't even talk about it. 491 00:16:43,277 --> 00:16:44,925 [JAMAICAN ACCENT] Don't worry about it, brah! 492 00:16:44,949 --> 00:16:47,347 What's your favorite wax technique? 493 00:16:47,558 --> 00:16:49,402 [JAMAICAN ACCENT] Up and down, side to side. 494 00:16:49,427 --> 00:16:51,438 - It don't matter. - Wrong. 495 00:16:51,463 --> 00:16:54,044 You apply the wax in the direction the hair grows, 496 00:16:54,069 --> 00:16:55,465 then you pull bottom to top. 497 00:16:55,490 --> 00:16:56,784 - Get it right! - Okay. 498 00:16:56,809 --> 00:16:58,081 Keep going. Keep going. 499 00:16:58,106 --> 00:17:00,870 I feel like I've missed out on having a real relationship 500 00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,005 with you, Mom. 501 00:17:02,030 --> 00:17:03,807 Stuff it down, man! 502 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,072 Push it down, Ka'ponko! 503 00:17:06,097 --> 00:17:07,833 Me never chat with you about this! 504 00:17:07,858 --> 00:17:09,880 That's a terrible Hawaiian accent. 505 00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,709 You sound Jamaican, you racist. 506 00:17:11,734 --> 00:17:13,773 Wait, whoa! I'm not racist! 507 00:17:13,798 --> 00:17:15,885 - Says you! - I am not racist. 508 00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,621 Guys, stand closer. Where you going? 509 00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,089 Keep going. Keep going. 510 00:17:19,113 --> 00:17:20,133 I'm not racist. 511 00:17:20,158 --> 00:17:21,825 Why can't we talk about this? 512 00:17:21,850 --> 00:17:23,173 We're family. 513 00:17:23,198 --> 00:17:26,301 No time to talk. Have to wax a sensitive area. 514 00:17:26,326 --> 00:17:28,640 [IRISH ACCENT] That's right. And I've got to wax 515 00:17:28,665 --> 00:17:31,102 a little soul patch into me customer. 516 00:17:31,127 --> 00:17:32,396 Enough, okay? 517 00:17:32,421 --> 00:17:33,988 I did not close down shop 518 00:17:34,013 --> 00:17:35,304 during lunch rush 519 00:17:35,329 --> 00:17:37,129 to watch amateur improv. 520 00:17:37,154 --> 00:17:38,787 Let's go, Kailani. 521 00:17:39,968 --> 00:17:42,203 Wait. M... 522 00:17:43,755 --> 00:17:45,066 You okay, buddy? 523 00:17:45,091 --> 00:17:48,537 Actually, I feel fantastic. 524 00:17:48,562 --> 00:17:51,263 Like it or not, they heard what I had to say. 525 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:54,101 - Awesome. - Okay. 526 00:17:54,126 --> 00:17:55,525 Chief and Lucy, your turn. 527 00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:57,728 - Sweet! - Uh, no thanks. 528 00:17:57,752 --> 00:17:59,156 It really hurts me that you can't stand 529 00:17:59,180 --> 00:18:00,793 - the sound of my voice. - What are you talking about? 530 00:18:00,817 --> 00:18:02,933 I love your voice; you sound like the guy who used to host 531 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:04,535 Soul Train... Granny, what was that guy's name? 532 00:18:04,559 --> 00:18:06,804 Why would I know the name of the guy who hosted Soul Train? 533 00:18:06,828 --> 00:18:08,539 Oh! [CHUCKLES] Right. 534 00:18:08,563 --> 00:18:10,738 Oh, it's 'cause I dream about trains? 535 00:18:10,763 --> 00:18:12,971 That's it. You're the train guy. 536 00:18:12,996 --> 00:18:14,193 Let's switch it up. 537 00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:16,498 Lucy, you be Chief. Chief, you be Lucy. 538 00:18:16,523 --> 00:18:18,215 Lucy, start it off. 539 00:18:18,804 --> 00:18:20,962 Okay, um... 540 00:18:21,658 --> 00:18:24,229 Don't interrupt! I know everything! 541 00:18:24,254 --> 00:18:25,822 I'm the chief, and I'm your dad! 542 00:18:25,847 --> 00:18:26,994 And the answer is no! 543 00:18:27,019 --> 00:18:28,597 No, no, no, no, no! 544 00:18:28,622 --> 00:18:30,180 Oh, that's your imitation of me? 545 00:18:30,205 --> 00:18:31,448 - That's it, huh? - Mm-hmm. 546 00:18:31,473 --> 00:18:32,777 I can play this game too. 547 00:18:32,802 --> 00:18:34,438 I can do this. All right. 548 00:18:34,463 --> 00:18:36,106 Hey, my name's Lucy, 549 00:18:36,131 --> 00:18:37,597 and I'm the reckless probie 550 00:18:37,622 --> 00:18:40,036 who doesn't care how our actions affect other people! 551 00:18:40,061 --> 00:18:43,329 Maybe I should find a safer job like accounting! 552 00:18:44,909 --> 00:18:47,453 - That was awesome. - Yeah, good impression, Chief. 553 00:18:47,478 --> 00:18:48,979 - [BUZZER BLARES] - DISPATCHER: Station 24. 554 00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:51,808 Man on a ledge. 1113 Harrison Avenue. 555 00:18:51,833 --> 00:18:53,583 All right, this is bullshit. 556 00:18:53,608 --> 00:18:54,919 Do you even know what you're doing? 557 00:18:54,943 --> 00:18:57,077 - Yes, I do. - Then what does Andy's mom 558 00:18:57,102 --> 00:18:58,855 and sister have to do with Lucy's accident? 559 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:00,936 Lucy's accident is what made Andy's 560 00:19:00,961 --> 00:19:02,926 mom and grandma tell him the truth. 561 00:19:02,951 --> 00:19:04,619 All right, you know what? We're done with this. 562 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:05,960 No, we're done when I say we're done. 563 00:19:05,984 --> 00:19:07,162 No, we're done now! 564 00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:09,017 No, we're done when I say we're done. 565 00:19:09,423 --> 00:19:11,135 - Where are you going? - I'm going on a call. 566 00:19:11,159 --> 00:19:12,331 - Well, so am I! - Oh, you're coming? 567 00:19:12,355 --> 00:19:14,728 - Yeah, I'm coming! - About time! 568 00:19:16,955 --> 00:19:19,495 Just leave me alone, please! 569 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,412 Can you please let a man die in peace? 570 00:19:22,832 --> 00:19:24,915 Leave me alone! I'm gonna jump! 571 00:19:24,940 --> 00:19:26,883 I'm gonna do it! I swear! 572 00:19:26,908 --> 00:19:30,421 Go away! Leave me alone, okay? 573 00:19:30,445 --> 00:19:32,689 Car one on the scene. Car one in command. 574 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:36,226 Go away! Leave me alone, okay? 575 00:19:36,251 --> 00:19:37,847 Get out of here! Please! 576 00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:39,380 Go away! 577 00:19:40,293 --> 00:19:43,294 Hey, folks, I need you to step back! 578 00:19:43,524 --> 00:19:46,347 - [SIGHS] - Leave me alone! 579 00:19:46,928 --> 00:19:48,999 - [INDISTINCT SHOUTING] - Who's going up there? 580 00:19:49,024 --> 00:19:50,908 I am, obviously. I'm the most qualified. 581 00:19:50,932 --> 00:19:51,974 Hold on a second. 582 00:19:51,999 --> 00:19:53,388 I've talked to a few jumpers in my day. 583 00:19:53,412 --> 00:19:55,511 - Okay, so you go. - You want me to? 584 00:19:55,536 --> 00:19:57,203 Yeah, if you're so good at it, you go. 585 00:19:57,228 --> 00:19:58,605 Fine. I will go. 586 00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:00,650 Okay, stop chattering and start laddering. 587 00:20:00,675 --> 00:20:02,104 - I'm in charge here! - Good. 588 00:20:02,129 --> 00:20:03,716 - Stop looking at me! - Be safe, Chief. 589 00:20:03,741 --> 00:20:05,521 Stop telling me what to do. 590 00:20:05,546 --> 00:20:08,259 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 591 00:20:08,283 --> 00:20:10,080 Get off of that thing, man! 592 00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,030 Stay away, man! 593 00:20:14,055 --> 00:20:15,935 I'm not kidding! Back off, man! 594 00:20:16,625 --> 00:20:19,305 Stay away, man! I'm gonna jump! 595 00:20:19,330 --> 00:20:21,823 - I just wanna talk. - Okay, well, I don't! 596 00:20:22,098 --> 00:20:23,940 - I wanna be alone. - I get it. 597 00:20:23,965 --> 00:20:25,542 I'm the strong, silent type too. 598 00:20:25,566 --> 00:20:27,278 Oh, yeah? Like Ryan Gosling? 599 00:20:27,302 --> 00:20:28,924 - I don't know who that is. - What? 600 00:20:28,949 --> 00:20:30,547 It's America's handsome boy, man! 601 00:20:30,571 --> 00:20:32,683 - Come on. "La La Land"? - Never heard of it. 602 00:20:32,707 --> 00:20:34,200 You never heard of "La La Land"? 603 00:20:34,225 --> 00:20:36,137 - What about "The Notebook"? - You're losing me now. 604 00:20:36,161 --> 00:20:37,942 It's a masterpiece, sir! 605 00:20:37,967 --> 00:20:39,809 - I'm more of a Stallone guy. - Who? 606 00:20:39,834 --> 00:20:41,558 How do you not know who Stallone is? 607 00:20:41,582 --> 00:20:43,558 How do you not know who Ryan Gosling is? 608 00:20:43,583 --> 00:20:44,895 I feel like we're not connecting here. 609 00:20:44,919 --> 00:20:47,056 No, we're not, okay? Just go away, please! 610 00:20:47,081 --> 00:20:48,564 You're pissing me off, man! 611 00:20:48,589 --> 00:20:49,834 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 612 00:20:49,976 --> 00:20:51,019 You married? 613 00:20:51,044 --> 00:20:53,369 My wife ran off with my business partner 614 00:20:53,394 --> 00:20:54,794 after embezzling a million dollars 615 00:20:54,819 --> 00:20:56,840 from my frozen yogurt franchise. 616 00:20:56,865 --> 00:20:58,219 Hence the roof! 617 00:20:58,244 --> 00:20:59,609 Okay. 618 00:20:59,634 --> 00:21:02,178 I like frozen yogurt more than I thought I would. 619 00:21:02,203 --> 00:21:03,470 Cool! 620 00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:05,450 [SIGHS] You got kids? 621 00:21:05,474 --> 00:21:07,740 - I got three boys. - Hey, I got three girls. 622 00:21:07,765 --> 00:21:09,245 You know, they say boys are made 623 00:21:09,270 --> 00:21:11,899 when the wife has an orgasm during conception, so... 624 00:21:11,924 --> 00:21:13,390 People have told me that. It's not true. 625 00:21:13,414 --> 00:21:14,658 - It's true. - It's not true. 626 00:21:14,683 --> 00:21:15,861 - Google it! - There's no evidence. 627 00:21:15,885 --> 00:21:17,527 You could Bing it too. Same results. 628 00:21:17,552 --> 00:21:18,796 There's no proof of that fact. 629 00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:20,274 I proved it three times. 630 00:21:20,299 --> 00:21:22,148 All right, regardless, okay, we both got kids. 631 00:21:22,173 --> 00:21:24,285 Matter of fact, that's my oldest right down there. 632 00:21:24,310 --> 00:21:25,802 The firefighter on the end. 633 00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:27,425 You ever worried she'll get hurt on the job? 634 00:21:27,449 --> 00:21:28,671 Every day. 635 00:21:28,696 --> 00:21:30,855 Matter of fact, she just got hit in the throat. 636 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:33,326 Now she sounds like an old timey jazz singer. 637 00:21:33,351 --> 00:21:35,842 Hey, I need you guys back behind the car! 638 00:21:35,867 --> 00:21:37,627 Wow. Like Morgan Freeman. 639 00:21:37,652 --> 00:21:39,616 Just every time I hear it, it reminds me that 640 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:40,751 if she hadn't followed in my footsteps, 641 00:21:40,775 --> 00:21:42,007 she wouldn't be in harm's way. 642 00:21:42,032 --> 00:21:43,944 Hey, we can't protect our kids forever, man. 643 00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:46,557 I just don't wanna feel afraid and guilty 644 00:21:46,581 --> 00:21:48,632 for as long as she's a firefighter. 645 00:21:48,657 --> 00:21:50,352 We all feel that way about our kids. 646 00:21:50,377 --> 00:21:51,710 It's normal. 647 00:21:51,735 --> 00:21:54,430 You should talk to somebody about it before you end up, 648 00:21:54,455 --> 00:21:56,798 you know, taking a dive off of a Bordstrom. 649 00:21:56,823 --> 00:21:59,666 - You sound like Eddie. - Eddie sounds woke AF. 650 00:21:59,691 --> 00:22:00,874 I'm not gonna tell him that. 651 00:22:00,899 --> 00:22:02,412 Gosh, your depression is making me feel better 652 00:22:02,436 --> 00:22:04,561 about my problems. [CHUCKLES] 653 00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,889 Who would've thought that? [LAUGHS] 654 00:22:06,914 --> 00:22:08,312 I was just about to jump off a building. 655 00:22:08,336 --> 00:22:10,290 Now I'm laughing. [LAUGHING] 656 00:22:10,678 --> 00:22:12,516 Thank you, man. Hey, can I get a hug? 657 00:22:12,541 --> 00:22:14,785 - I don't think that's a good idea. - Come on, man. Please? 658 00:22:14,809 --> 00:22:16,482 - Let me just get you down safely. - I feel like we connected there. 659 00:22:16,506 --> 00:22:18,553 - Come on! Bring it in! - Just hold on. Let's not... 660 00:22:18,578 --> 00:22:20,338 - Get in here. I need it, man. - No, don't... 661 00:22:20,889 --> 00:22:24,260 - Hey, hey! - [YELLS] 662 00:22:24,285 --> 00:22:26,966 [OVERLAPPING SHOUTS] 663 00:22:28,089 --> 00:22:29,322 ALL: Oh! 664 00:22:29,824 --> 00:22:32,813 Whoo! Whee! 665 00:22:33,111 --> 00:22:34,672 That was amazing! 666 00:22:34,697 --> 00:22:37,604 Hey, your team really knows how to talk a guy down. 667 00:22:37,629 --> 00:22:40,313 Free yogurt for everybody! 668 00:22:40,338 --> 00:22:42,569 [SIGHS] Oh, oh! 669 00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:43,620 I'm sorry. 670 00:22:43,645 --> 00:22:45,494 I love you. I was wrong. 671 00:22:45,519 --> 00:22:48,684 - And I love your voice. - Thanks, Dad. 672 00:22:48,709 --> 00:22:51,331 Chief, you forgot to secure your safety belt. 673 00:22:51,356 --> 00:22:53,138 Yeah, well, too bad. We're having a moment here. 674 00:22:53,162 --> 00:22:54,825 But we're gonna have a safety belt refresher course. 675 00:22:54,849 --> 00:22:56,120 - We'll talk about it later. - Okay. 676 00:22:56,144 --> 00:22:57,145 - My daughter. - By the way, 677 00:22:57,169 --> 00:22:58,750 you got 10s across the board for your dive. 678 00:22:58,774 --> 00:23:00,152 Thank you! 679 00:23:00,455 --> 00:23:02,499 Ka'ponko! Oh, my goodness! 680 00:23:02,523 --> 00:23:04,301 Thank God you're okay! 681 00:23:04,325 --> 00:23:06,916 Hey, hey! Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay! 682 00:23:06,941 --> 00:23:08,386 Hey! I'm okay! 683 00:23:08,411 --> 00:23:09,655 The Nextdoor app said there was a guy 684 00:23:09,679 --> 00:23:11,119 who was gonna jump off a building. 685 00:23:11,144 --> 00:23:13,843 We figured it was you because you're such an emotional mess! 686 00:23:13,868 --> 00:23:15,402 I have every right to be a mess. 687 00:23:15,427 --> 00:23:17,290 - I know. - You do? 688 00:23:17,315 --> 00:23:20,116 Yeah, I was talking to my 2:00 about it, 689 00:23:20,141 --> 00:23:22,186 and she told me I was being a crazy person. 690 00:23:22,210 --> 00:23:24,411 She was right. I was wrong, all right? 691 00:23:24,436 --> 00:23:26,614 We can work through this together! 692 00:23:26,639 --> 00:23:27,994 Aww! 693 00:23:29,649 --> 00:23:32,016 Oh, hi, Andy's mom. Hi, Andy's grandma. 694 00:23:33,136 --> 00:23:34,598 Is Ike still single? 695 00:23:34,623 --> 00:23:36,333 - I think so. - Sweet. 696 00:23:36,357 --> 00:23:38,925 - I could hit that. - Eww. 697 00:23:40,649 --> 00:23:44,718 [SOFT R&B MUSIC] 698 00:23:45,273 --> 00:23:47,745 ♪ I wanna tell you, baby ♪ 699 00:23:48,169 --> 00:23:50,368 ♪ What you meant to me ♪ 700 00:23:51,310 --> 00:23:53,950 ♪ All those good times we shared ♪ 701 00:23:57,424 --> 00:24:00,717 ♪ All the love that we have for each other ♪ 702 00:24:02,202 --> 00:24:03,826 Okay. Come on, Luce. 703 00:24:03,851 --> 00:24:05,330 Rubber match! Let's go! 704 00:24:05,355 --> 00:24:06,864 [SIGHS, REGULAR VOICE] Man. 705 00:24:06,889 --> 00:24:08,659 I really miss my old voice. 706 00:24:08,684 --> 00:24:10,794 I was the talk of the karaoke circuit. 707 00:24:10,819 --> 00:24:13,832 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 708 00:24:13,857 --> 00:24:17,107 [YELLS] 709 00:24:17,132 --> 00:24:19,027 [VOICE DEEPENS] 710 00:24:19,052 --> 00:24:20,296 You okay? 711 00:24:20,321 --> 00:24:21,816 [DEEP VOICE] Chief. 712 00:24:21,841 --> 00:24:24,032 You are my father! 713 00:24:24,057 --> 00:24:25,768 [LAUGHTER] 714 00:24:25,793 --> 00:24:27,193 That's awesome. 715 00:24:28,968 --> 00:24:30,857 It's funny 'cause it's true.