1 00:00:03,250 --> 00:00:05,490 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:05,510 --> 00:00:07,280 and some scenes of a sexual nature. 3 00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:10,650 No. Why not? I don't want to. You have to. I write my own destiny. 4 00:00:10,670 --> 00:00:13,320 L00k, being sad doesn't make you interesting. 5 00:00:13,340 --> 00:00:17,520 I am not sad, I just don't 0bserve the western notion of the new year. 6 00:00:17,540 --> 00:00:20,690 Oh, really? Yeah, I celebrate Chinese New Year, actual*. 7 00:00:20,710 --> 00:00:22,770 Oh, right, OK. When is Chinese New Year? 8 00:00:24,230 --> 00:00:25,700 May, is it? 9 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:28,700 Right, I genuinely don't have time for this. 10 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:31,590 I l00k amazing and you l00k OK. 11 00:00:31,610 --> 00:00:34,320 I'll see you in there. Fine-ah! 12 00:00:34,340 --> 00:00:36,640 Fine. Fine. Fine. 13 00:00:36,660 --> 00:00:39,640 Um, you're breaking my bal* here. Yes! 14 00:00:39,660 --> 00:00:41,520 Happy New Year! 15 00:00:41,540 --> 00:00:43,210 W00! OK, baby. 16 00:00:43,230 --> 00:00:44,960 We're going to have a g00d night. 17 00:00:44,980 --> 00:00:47,290 It's going to be a really interesting year for currency. 18 00:00:47,310 --> 00:00:48,580 It's going to be s0... 19 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,300 There's s0 many currencies now which are just on the up, you know? 20 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:53,010 I mean, you have to know which to go for. 21 00:00:53,030 --> 00:00:55,730 Aluminium, you've got to invest in aluminium, that's the big one, 22 00:00:55,750 --> 00:00:57,160 then gold. Bitcoin is... 23 00:00:57,180 --> 00:00:59,320 I know it's a cliche, but Bitcoin is the one. 24 00:00:59,340 --> 00:01:01,290 That's the interesting thing about Bitcoin, 25 00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:03,090 it really is the people's currency. 26 00:01:03,110 --> 00:01:05,370 Oh, I love it. Mm. Another round? 27 00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:06,780 Yes. Yeah. 28 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,490 I'm sorry, yes, yes, um, I would love another gin and tonic. 29 00:01:09,510 --> 00:01:10,930 OK. 30 00:01:10,950 --> 00:01:12,450 I'll have a glass of red wine. 31 00:01:12,470 --> 00:01:14,960 Ooh. Oh, I will a*0 have that. 32 00:01:14,980 --> 00:01:17,810 A glass of red wine, in addition to the gin and tonic. 33 00:01:17,830 --> 00:01:19,730 No problem, whatever the lady wants. 34 00:01:19,750 --> 00:01:21,490 THEY CHUCKLE 35 00:01:23,820 --> 00:01:25,130 Oh, my God. 36 00:01:27,540 --> 00:01:29,960 Just s0 you know, I'm 0nly interested in Kate. 37 00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:31,420 Yeah, OK. Just Kate. 38 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:32,800 Copy that. Thanks. 39 00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:35,450 What was that? 40 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:36,890 He thinks you're fit. 41 00:01:36,910 --> 00:01:38,160 Oh, my God! 42 00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:39,680 That's electric. 43 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:42,370 Kate! Shall we get espress0 Martinis? 44 00:02:11,390 --> 00:02:12,610 Hello? 45 00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:17,010 My...my name is jessie. I just need a pee. 46 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:20,650 I'm a very normal girl. 47 00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:30,880 P00r Donna. 48 00:02:37,550 --> 00:02:39,930 James, james Bond. 49 00:02:41,690 --> 00:02:44,650 You're drunk. You're drunk. 50 00:02:45,980 --> 00:02:47,680 Jessie is drunk. 51 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,140 Yeah. 52 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,880 TOl LET FLUSHES 53 00:03:01,060 --> 00:03:03,300 Hi-l0...hell0. 54 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,240 Hi, Jessie. 55 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:08,890 How did you know my name? 56 00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:11,220 You've said it a number of times since you came in here. 57 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,040 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, right. 58 00:03:15,260 --> 00:03:16,810 What were you doing in there? 59 00:03:18,150 --> 00:03:20,130 Peeing. Pee...? 60 00:03:20,150 --> 00:03:21,810 Wel* you can do it standing up. 61 00:03:21,830 --> 00:03:24,490 Yeah, I treated myse* to a sit-down one. 62 00:03:24,510 --> 00:03:28,090 Being able to pee standing up is a gift. What...? 63 00:03:30,390 --> 00:03:33,410 You would pee in a gift horse mouth? 64 00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:34,940 Yeah, I would. 65 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:36,530 Disgusting. 66 00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:43,660 You know, it's " Bond, James Bond". 67 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:45,380 You were doing it the wrong way round. 68 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,610 That was actual* a private conversation. Oh, OK. 69 00:03:47,630 --> 00:03:49,240 Yeah. Sorry. 70 00:03:49,260 --> 00:03:50,940 OK, n0 worries. 71 00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:54,500 You were right about one thing, though... 72 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,600 ...you do seem drunk. 73 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,170 OK. 74 00:04:05,110 --> 00:04:06,220 Tah. 75 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:07,930 BLOWS 76 00:04:07,950 --> 00:04:09,090 Oh! 77 00:04:09,110 --> 00:04:10,210 So is it an actual coin? 78 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:15,090 Uh, uh, n0. 79 00:04:15,110 --> 00:04:17,220 Uh...n0. Right. 80 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:18,570 It...it... Yeah. 81 00:04:18,590 --> 00:04:20,930 So it's, like, modern...? Yeah. 82 00:04:20,950 --> 00:04:23,290 Yep. Yeah, it's kind of like a modern, you know, 83 00:04:23,310 --> 00:04:25,610 it's the modern currency. It's the modern currency. 84 00:04:25,630 --> 00:04:27,730 So if I said, can I have a bit...? 85 00:04:27,750 --> 00:04:30,220 Yeah, I 'd say, "Yes, please, come to my 0ffice right away". 86 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:31,730 THEY LAUGH 87 00:04:31,750 --> 00:04:33,130 Yeah. 88 00:04:33,150 --> 00:04:34,330 I'm sorry, I'm just joking. 89 00:04:34,350 --> 00:04:36,520 People say I have a kind of random sense of humour. 90 00:04:36,540 --> 00:04:38,290 You're funny. 91 00:04:39,590 --> 00:04:41,120 You're funny. 92 00:04:41,140 --> 00:04:44,680 Uh, 0h, that's my library card. I love to read. 93 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,480 There you go. I've got some more in here. 94 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:49,740 I've got some more. 95 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,380 SHE LAUGHS Hey, bathroom. 96 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:56,690 Hey, hell0 again. Yeah. 97 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,120 I know you. 98 00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:07,250 Do you work at the Shepherd's Bush Superdrug? 99 00:05:07,270 --> 00:05:08,690 No. 100 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,570 What? Wel* that's crazy. 101 00:05:12,590 --> 00:05:16,890 Wel* there is someone who works there who looks exact* like you. 102 00:05:16,910 --> 00:05:18,690 It's not me. OK. 103 00:05:20,870 --> 00:05:22,300 Is he g00d - l00king? 104 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,220 Sorry, what? Superdrug guy. 105 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,770 Oh, yeah. 106 00:05:25,790 --> 00:05:27,970 Oh, my gosh, "schmokin". 107 00:05:27,990 --> 00:05:29,450 Aw00ga. 108 00:05:29,470 --> 00:05:30,930 OK, wel* thanks. 109 00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:34,330 No, it's... 110 00:05:34,350 --> 00:05:36,330 I mean, the Superdrug guy was hot. 111 00:05:36,350 --> 00:05:38,530 But you said I l00k just like him. 112 00:05:38,550 --> 00:05:42,370 No, I mean, I feel...you, you've got a similar issence to him. 113 00:05:42,390 --> 00:05:43,590 What? 114 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,330 You have a similar essence. 115 00:05:45,350 --> 00:05:48,330 Oh, right, you didn't say essence, you said issince. 116 00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:50,010 Oh, ha- ha, funny. 117 00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:52,020 I've got a funny accent. Great. 118 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,580 CROWD: Ten, nine, eight... 119 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,460 I don't want to lose my spot. 120 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:57,840 Fair enough. 121 00:05:57,860 --> 00:05:59,620 You don't have to kiss me or anything. 122 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:01,040 Genuinely didn't cross my mind. 123 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:02,320 ...two, one. CROWD CHEERS 124 00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:05,480 Shall we split this or should I ...I put some 125 00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:07,050 money int0 your account, or...? 126 00:06:07,070 --> 00:06:09,090 No, it's fine, don't worry, I've got it. OK. 127 00:06:10,990 --> 00:06:13,480 So, you want to have sex? We're having sex. 128 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:16,570 Yeah, I know, but do you want to? Yeah. Yeah, OK. 129 00:06:16,590 --> 00:06:18,570 I'm just checking it's not a mistake. 130 00:06:18,590 --> 00:06:21,450 No, it's not a mistake. OK. All right. 131 00:06:21,470 --> 00:06:23,210 Wait, do you want to be having sex? 132 00:06:23,230 --> 00:06:24,570 Yeah. 133 00:06:25,780 --> 00:06:27,260 You? Yeah. 134 00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:29,300 OK, great, w00! OK. All right. 135 00:08:19,590 --> 00:08:21,740 Sl LENTLY 136 00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:27,970 Oi. Yeah? 137 00:08:27,990 --> 00:08:29,380 What's your name? 138 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,700 You don't know my name? 139 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:32,370 I know who you are. 140 00:08:32,390 --> 00:08:33,680 Yeah, I should hope s0. 141 00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:36,900 You're the guy from the thing, um... 142 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:40,020 What? Oh, my...0h, my God. Huh. 143 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,570 What the hel* How could you not tell me this? 144 00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:44,680 What do you mean? Wh0 you are. 145 00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:46,020 What you do. 146 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:47,840 I did, actually. 147 00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:50,010 What do you do? 148 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,200 I'm an actor. 149 00:08:52,220 --> 00:08:53,570 Ugh, n0 thanks. 150 00:08:53,590 --> 00:08:55,290 When did we eat cerea* 151 00:08:55,310 --> 00:08:56,810 Why are you wearing my coat? 152 00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:59,260 This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. 153 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:02,700 OK, I'm not sure why you're freaking out, but... Oh, my God. Oh. 154 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,920 Oh, I can't believe I let you go down on me. 155 00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:06,570 Let me? You told me to. 156 00:09:06,590 --> 00:09:08,840 Wel* you shouldn't have done it 157 00:09:08,860 --> 00:09:12,410 cos, if I 'd have known who you were, I would not have let that happen. 158 00:09:12,430 --> 00:09:14,170 You didn't seem to mind last night. 159 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,810 Wel* I was acting. 160 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:20,810 No, you weren't. 161 00:09:23,670 --> 00:09:25,570 Were you? No. 162 00:09:25,590 --> 00:09:26,850 No. 163 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:33,100 Wel* yes, yeah, yeah, um, yeah. 164 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:38,770 I was, 0n* cos I can't, I can't, you know, 165 00:09:38,790 --> 00:09:42,290 when I'm tipsy and s0... 166 00:09:42,310 --> 00:09:43,980 I stil* I still enjoyed it. 167 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,260 OK. Yeah. 168 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:52,090 Sorry. No, n0, it's fine, I mean, same, you know? 169 00:09:52,110 --> 00:09:53,330 Yeah. 170 00:09:55,770 --> 00:09:57,980 Sorry, what do you mean by that? I mean... 171 00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:04,930 ...I didn't either, you know? 172 00:10:07,670 --> 00:10:09,460 Yes, you did. No, I didn't. 173 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,100 Mm, I'm pretty sure you did. 174 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,410 No, I really didn't. No, you did. No. 175 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,460 What, you...s0 you faked it? 176 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,330 Yeah, I guess. 177 00:10:21,350 --> 00:10:23,110 I can't...I can't believe this. 178 00:10:23,130 --> 00:10:26,750 What? You just told me you did exactly the same thing. 179 00:10:26,770 --> 00:10:27,810 SHE SIGHS 180 00:10:27,830 --> 00:10:29,650 I must not have been giving it my all. 181 00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:32,130 Hm, I think you were trying pretty hard. 182 00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:35,640 Sorry, n0 0ffence, but you didn't see me at full ti*, obvious*. 183 00:10:35,660 --> 00:10:37,900 Oh, I'm pretty sure I saw it all. 184 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:42,720 I think, if you'd have seen it al* you would know. 185 00:10:42,740 --> 00:10:45,330 Really? Mm, like you wouldn't be able to walk. 186 00:10:45,350 --> 00:10:48,290 God, that sounds awful. Yeah, I know. 187 00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:49,770 You'd be ruined for 0ther women. 188 00:10:49,790 --> 00:10:51,570 Hm. Hm. 189 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,210 Wel* for the record, 190 00:10:57,230 --> 00:10:59,460 I wasn't really trying either. 191 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,980 Not true, actual*, I ...I specifical* remember you 192 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,780 saying, "This is some of my best stuff." 193 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,580 Yeah, I would never have said that. 194 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,360 Ah, that was the subtext of what you were saying, 195 00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:12,010 I was reading between the lines. 196 00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:25,970 Can you believe that was still 0nly 75ofo? 197 00:11:32,230 --> 00:11:34,080 Oh, my God, stop trying to win at kissing. 198 00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:36,180 Um, can you stop trying to win at kissing? 199 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,180 I'm 0bvious* better at it than you. 200 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,410 SHE CHUCKLES 201 00:11:48,470 --> 00:11:50,090 Jesus, you l00k like shit. 202 00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:52,830 Hey, it's New Year's Day, what do you...what do you expect from me? 203 00:11:52,850 --> 00:11:55,300 To not show up to work in last night's clothes. 204 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,500 You know what? That is fair. That is real* fair. 205 00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:00,090 Aren't you going to ask, though, why I haven't changed or...? 206 00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:02,370 No. It's a great story though. 207 00:12:02,390 --> 00:12:04,540 Kids, Jessie's here. 208 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:06,580 I thought we were getting Shivani. 209 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,010 Oh, my God, why don't you just marry Shivani, then? 210 00:12:09,030 --> 00:12:11,570 I don't want to marry her. There's nothing in the fridge. 211 00:12:11,590 --> 00:12:13,190 I'm going to bed. 212 00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:16,420 All right, hand it over. Come on. Come on. There we go. 213 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,340 Now, who has seen G00dfellas? 214 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:21,080 TV: Thatts when I knew... Hey. I just knew... 215 00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:22,370 Where have you been? 216 00:12:22,390 --> 00:12:24,190 I texted you, didn't I? 217 00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:25,720 I can't find my phone. TURNS OFF TV 218 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:34,220 So, if I said the name Tom Kapoor to you, 219 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:35,980 what would that kind of... 220 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,340 ...what response would that kind of get? Hot. 221 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:39,730 Mm- hm, yeah. 222 00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:42,340 Wel* you know he was, uh, he was there last night? 223 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,620 Oh, that's exciting. 224 00:12:47,430 --> 00:12:49,010 Yeah. 225 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:51,850 What? 226 00:12:51,870 --> 00:12:53,900 Yeah. 227 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,450 What? 228 00:12:55,470 --> 00:12:57,940 Oh, my God. 229 00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,450 I know! I know! 230 00:12:59,470 --> 00:13:01,640 Oh! How did this happen?! 231 00:13:01,660 --> 00:13:04,290 No, tell me everything ! I don't know. I don't. 232 00:13:04,310 --> 00:13:06,150 I mean, genuine*, I don't know, I mean, 233 00:13:06,170 --> 00:13:08,980 cos I was quite drunk, but I do remember I kept asking him 234 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,300 if he wanted to do it, like, while we were doing it. 235 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:12,570 You do do that. 236 00:13:12,590 --> 00:13:15,270 Yeah, but this morning I had sex with him again and, 237 00:13:15,290 --> 00:13:18,010 Kate, I was bare* drunk that time. 238 00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:20,190 Oh, that is s0 sweet. Mm- hm. 239 00:13:20,210 --> 00:13:22,980 And, 0h, yeah, here's the best bit. 240 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:27,020 Tw0 hours later, I got my period. Like, what is that? 241 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,580 Touched by an ange* like, that's... the timing of that... 242 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,810 Will you see him again? Um, I don't know. 243 00:13:32,830 --> 00:13:34,370 You probably won't see him again. 244 00:13:34,390 --> 00:13:36,010 Wel* maybe I'll see him again. 245 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,850 He is a famous actor and you're a little rat nob0dy. 246 00:13:40,870 --> 00:13:44,350 Oh, that's s0 harsh, but it's true. 247 00:13:44,370 --> 00:13:45,940 Hm. But you know what? 248 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:49,140 What's done is done, like, he can't take it back. 249 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:53,020 I am forever a stain on his sexual history. 250 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,350 SHE SCREAMS 251 00:13:55,370 --> 00:13:57,730 I knew you were going to react like this. W00. 252 00:13:57,750 --> 00:13:59,490 Oh. Yeah. 253 00:13:59,510 --> 00:14:00,650 W00. 254 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:03,910 Wow, OK. 255 00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:05,650 Hm. 256 00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:06,980 Yep. 257 00:14:09,010 --> 00:14:11,060 I'm going to get in the shower, actual*. Oh, yeah. 258 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:12,270 J ill. jessie. 259 00:14:12,290 --> 00:14:14,410 Jessie, yeah. Close. Really close. 260 00:14:15,830 --> 00:14:18,370 Hey. Hiya. THEY LAUGH NERVOUSLY 261 00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:21,050 Your, um, your toilet's completely blocked. 262 00:14:21,070 --> 00:14:23,900 Popcorn and water. 263 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,020 That's 5.50, thank you. 264 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:32,780 Your favourite film is Schindler's List? 265 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:36,010 Oh, n0, um, that's...this is not my badge, um... 266 00:14:36,030 --> 00:14:37,930 Cos it's a pretty 0bvious choice, n0 0ffence. 267 00:14:37,950 --> 00:14:40,140 Again, I'm not Mike, that's not my... 268 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,260 Everything OK here? Yeah, total*. 269 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,450 I actual* haven't even seen Schindler's List. 270 00:14:44,470 --> 00:14:47,260 You've never seen Schindler's List? No. No. 271 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,570 I've seen Son of Sau* that's devastating, isn't it? 272 00:14:49,590 --> 00:14:51,880 I can't believe you've never seen Schindler. 273 00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:54,630 What is your favourite film? Uh, I don't know, man. 274 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,090 Rush Hour 2. 275 00:14:57,110 --> 00:14:58,810 It's a great, great flick. 276 00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:00,410 Your film is starting now. 277 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,140 Go0d chat... 278 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,290 ...Mike. 279 00:15:06,310 --> 00:15:07,340 Urg. 280 00:15:09,010 --> 00:15:11,090 What a dick. What is wrong with me? 281 00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:13,060 I kind of loved that - that was hot. 282 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,290 Yeah. No, yeah, yeah, totally. 283 00:15:20,830 --> 00:15:23,060 I actually love the Rush Hour franchise. 284 00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:30,300 Tom? 285 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,450 Hi. Hi. 286 00:15:32,470 --> 00:15:34,070 It's crazy. 287 00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:36,570 I ...I work just there. Yeah, I just, um... 288 00:15:36,590 --> 00:15:39,530 I remember you said you worked at a cinema in Hackney, uh... 289 00:15:39,550 --> 00:15:42,020 But there are a lot of cinemas in Hackney, 290 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,980 but then I remembered you said it was near the 0verground, s0, yeah. 291 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,220 Wow. 292 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,660 Go0d work, Detective Morse. 293 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,350 I nspector Morse. It...yeah, kind of... 294 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,170 Not a detective, he's an inspector. 295 00:15:57,760 --> 00:15:59,570 What are you doing here? 296 00:15:59,590 --> 00:16:02,890 Actually, um, you left this at my flat. 297 00:16:02,910 --> 00:16:05,090 Oh, aha! 298 00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:07,090 That's not mine. 299 00:16:07,110 --> 00:16:08,860 Really? No. 300 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,350 I'll have it though. 301 00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:13,020 Huh, OK, wel* uh, that's weird, I ... 302 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,580 I came to return this, but it's not 303 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:19,420 yours and now I l00k like a psych0, s0... 304 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,140 I should probably head 0ff. OK. 305 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,540 All right. Bye. Bye. See ya. 306 00:16:28,610 --> 00:16:31,250 I'm s0 sorry, I am... I'm walking this way as wel* yeah. 307 00:16:31,270 --> 00:16:33,350 Oh, OK. I ...yeah, I was just... 308 00:16:33,370 --> 00:16:36,380 So, I can walk a bit with you. Yeah, sure. Yeah. 309 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,890 Wel* it'll be g00d, actual*, it'll be good, 310 00:16:39,910 --> 00:16:42,500 just in case some crazy super fan kil* you on the way home. 311 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:44,230 What if you kill me? 312 00:16:44,250 --> 00:16:46,170 Oh, please, I'm not a fan, but... 313 00:16:46,190 --> 00:16:48,150 There's this amazing abandoned warehouse 314 00:16:48,170 --> 00:16:49,590 that I real* want to show you. 315 00:16:49,620 --> 00:16:52,000 Oh, yeah, I've actually got a couple of bodies... Real*? 316 00:16:52,020 --> 00:16:54,640 They're probab* listening to us right now, this conversation. 317 00:16:54,660 --> 00:16:56,360 The government? Yeah. 318 00:16:56,380 --> 00:16:58,640 Big Brother's a*ays watching. Wake up, sheeple. 319 00:16:58,660 --> 00:17:01,000 Ooh, I hope they didn't just hear you say sheeple. 320 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,410 I hope they did, s0 they can know that I'm onto them. 321 00:17:07,020 --> 00:17:09,310 Do you want to... Yes...come in? No. 322 00:17:09,330 --> 00:17:12,200 I'm- I'm... I didn't mean for it to sound like that, 323 00:17:12,220 --> 00:17:14,070 like I wanted something to happen. 324 00:17:14,090 --> 00:17:19,150 No, n0, n0, I do, I ...I want to have something, 325 00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:22,230 have something happen. Oh, OK. C00* me t00. Great. 326 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,800 Um, great. 327 00:17:23,820 --> 00:17:25,000 No, I, um... 328 00:17:26,530 --> 00:17:28,680 I ...I got my period this aftern00n. 329 00:17:30,460 --> 00:17:32,360 For the first time? LAUGHl NG: Yeah. 330 00:17:33,890 --> 00:17:35,790 That's very funny, you actual* made me laugh. 331 00:17:35,810 --> 00:17:40,070 I don't usual* find men funny, s0, um, it's a real win for you. 332 00:17:40,090 --> 00:17:43,280 No, I just, um, I just wanted to flag it 333 00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:45,870 because sometimes people can be a bit... 334 00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:47,960 You do know I'm an adult man, don't you? 335 00:17:56,330 --> 00:17:59,720 Wow. I hope they heard what you just said for your sake. 336 00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:01,160 That was great. 337 00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:02,510 That was... 338 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:05,370 I liked...I liked that. 339 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,850 What about that? How much did that cost? 340 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,790 I don't know. Hm. 341 00:18:11,810 --> 00:18:13,080 What about that? 342 00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,120 I'm not sure, it was just here when I got the place. 343 00:18:15,140 --> 00:18:16,590 How much was this cup? 344 00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:18,670 Yeah, it's rude to talk about money, you know? 345 00:18:18,690 --> 00:18:21,010 Wel* silence is the tool of the oppressor. 346 00:18:21,030 --> 00:18:23,230 Uh- huh, and what do you mean by that? 347 00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:24,960 I don't know, but it is... 348 00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:28,280 it sounds true, and it sounds quite smart, so that's why I said it. 349 00:18:29,670 --> 00:18:31,880 So, um, do you like working at the cinema? 350 00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:35,440 So, do you like being an actor? What? 351 00:18:35,460 --> 00:18:38,280 No, sorry, sorry, it was just a bit of a weird question. 352 00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:40,850 Wel* I just want to know things about you. Why? 353 00:18:42,430 --> 00:18:45,160 So I can describe you to the police when you steal my cup. 354 00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:48,600 I won't...I won't steal it. 355 00:18:52,050 --> 00:18:54,240 What are your parents' names? 356 00:18:54,260 --> 00:18:56,000 David and Liz. 357 00:18:56,020 --> 00:18:57,640 And which one do you like more? 358 00:18:57,660 --> 00:19:01,590 Um, my mum, I guess, but I ruined her body, 359 00:19:01,620 --> 00:19:04,440 s0 she's earned my loya*y, in a way. 360 00:19:10,820 --> 00:19:13,040 Do you want to ask me anything? 361 00:19:13,060 --> 00:19:15,310 Yes. Sorry, yeah, of course. 362 00:19:15,330 --> 00:19:16,590 Um... 363 00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:18,510 OK, what is your favourite col0ur? 364 00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,770 Blue. C00* OK. 365 00:19:21,790 --> 00:19:24,280 Um, what is your... 366 00:19:27,020 --> 00:19:29,450 ...second favourite col0ur? Oh, come on. No, I ... 367 00:19:29,470 --> 00:19:31,600 That's a g00d question, to be fair. 368 00:19:31,630 --> 00:19:33,210 I feel like it says a lot about someone, 369 00:19:33,230 --> 00:19:34,930 what their second favourite is, you know? 370 00:19:34,950 --> 00:19:36,770 My second favourite col0ur is green. 371 00:19:36,790 --> 00:19:39,520 You have five minutes to think of a better question. OK. 372 00:19:39,540 --> 00:19:40,680 Fine. 373 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:48,490 SHOWER SPRl NKLES I N BACKGROUND 374 00:19:50,110 --> 00:19:53,200 SHORT Vl BRATION Charge your phone, you dumbarse. 375 00:19:56,950 --> 00:19:59,000 You know what, can I change my answer? 376 00:19:59,020 --> 00:20:01,520 I don't think blue is my favourite col0ur any more. 377 00:20:05,380 --> 00:20:07,160 I can't hear you thinking. 378 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:12,850 Come on, next question. 379 00:20:19,580 --> 00:20:22,650 Over here. Home-wrecker. 380 00:20:22,670 --> 00:20:24,130 Home-wrecker. 381 00:20:24,150 --> 00:20:26,750 Oh, wait, wait, it's just the cleaner. 382 00:20:28,220 --> 00:20:31,520 Yeah. Yeah, sorry. 383 00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:32,960 Sorry, love. Yeah. 384 00:20:34,540 --> 00:20:36,400 It's an honest job. Thank you. 385 00:20:37,890 --> 00:20:39,320 Have a great day. 386 00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:46,850 Jessie? 387 00:20:51,590 --> 00:20:52,840 Jessie?