1 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,720 Arriving at Slaughter Abbey 2 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,096 in the Cotswolds, their home from home 3 00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:11,960 for the next few days, a bevvy of beauties 4 00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:14,360 from all four corners of the kingdom, 5 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:17,240 united for the Miss United Britain contest. 6 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:19,440 Every gorgeous girl has their sights set 7 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,520 on being named the nation's supreme poppet. 8 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,680 First off were this year's front runners, 9 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:27,560 Miss Walton-on-Thames, Diane Green. 10 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,600 Miss Belfast, Clodagh Kilpatrick 11 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:32,600 is current holder of the Miss Swimsuit title. 12 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:35,120 Miss Cardiff, Sally Ann Jones, 13 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:36,480 oh, she looks happy to be here, 14 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:38,760 but not as happy as those photographers. 15 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:42,400 Last but not least, Miss Glasgow, Moira McDonald. 16 00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:45,200 This is only her second contest, begging the question, 17 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:46,960 where has she been hiding? 18 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,280 There to greet them was Lesley Canon, 19 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:52,840 nicknamed the Beauty King all in the line of duty, 20 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,680 but what man doesn't envy his job? 21 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,520 The lineup of the lovelies, a dozen pretty hopefuls, 22 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,440 but no hint of competitive spirit here. 23 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,920 It looks like they're already becoming firm friends. 24 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,400 I said to him, you can ask me as many times as- 25 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,920 Do you think she ran it up at home on a sewing machine? 26 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:20,080 And what are you looking for in a contestant? 27 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:24,160 Well, single, childless, five six to five nine, 28 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:28,360 waist, 22 to 24 inches, hips, 35 to 36, 29 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:32,720 36 to 37 inch bust, perfectly shaped legs, no flabby thighs, 30 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,280 good skin, teeth and hair, chest out, Glasgow, 31 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,320 flaunt what Mother Nature gave you. 32 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,680 I'd ask Mother Nature for my money back. 33 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,640 I suppose some rivalry is inevitable? 34 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:47,480 Well, put a dozen goddesses together, 35 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:49,920 throw in a golden apple, what do you think? 36 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,000 Quite. 37 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,320 May I have a few photographs 38 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,760 and perhaps a few words from the three favourites? 39 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:57,160 Yeah, be my guest. 40 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:03,520 So aside from your ambition to um, ah, 41 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,680 "Further the cause of international friendship," 42 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,360 why do you think you'll win? 43 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,120 Take two guesses. 44 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:12,440 Right. 45 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:16,520 As an airline stewardess, I've already travelled the world 46 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:20,880 and I'm comfortable mixing with the right sort. 47 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:23,920 It's not just looks. 48 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,136 Don't write this down, mind, but I've met ironing boards 49 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,680 with more personality than some of these. 50 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,520 And how would you answer the charge, 51 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,200 that it's demeaning to women? 52 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,000 The winner will act as ambassadress for the nation, 53 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,440 most go on to be actresses or models, 54 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:38,880 what's degrading about that? 55 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:41,440 They're jealous. 56 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:43,480 I'll tell you what's demeaning, 57 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:46,240 being tied to a kitchen sink with a brood of ankle biters, 58 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,880 3,000 pounds buys a woman a lot of independence. 59 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,240 I can't disagree with that. 60 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:55,280 Lovely. 61 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:59,480 That's it, alright, room for everybody. 62 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:04,360 Come on, girls, 63 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:07,560 you're on in 48 hours, you're like spuds in a sack. 64 00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:09,080 Come on, fall in, numerical order. 65 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,720 Let's get the music on please, darling. 66 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,600 Where's Belfast, anyone seen Belfast? 67 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,000 Go and see where she's got to, will you? 68 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,640 He said numerical order, but you can't even count to 10? 69 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,840 Alright, come on, girls, this is a beauty contest, 70 00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:28,120 shoulders back, hips forward. 71 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:11,680 Her wristwatch stopped at 9:05 p.m. last night, 72 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,720 so we can assume that's when she hit the water, 73 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:14,800 if not time of death. 74 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,080 Right, did no one notice she was missing? 75 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,040 The contestants had a rest morning, 76 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,840 so no one noticed, until just before we found her, 77 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:25,640 she must've fallen in, apparently she couldn't swim, 78 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,840 which is ironic considering she's, or was Miss Swimsuit. 79 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,960 Yes, thank you, Mr. Canon, we can take it from here. 80 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:34,600 No indication of a sexual motive. 81 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,400 Her clothes are undisturbed and no sign of fight or flight. 82 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,800 What have you got there? 83 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:46,520 Hairs caught in the strap, female I deduce by the length 84 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,880 and black, so they don't belong to the victim. 85 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,400 Pulled out with force judging by traces of blood 86 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:52,760 on the roots. 87 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:54,440 So is the cause of death drowning? 88 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,000 Moot at this juncture, can you help me turn her, Sam? 89 00:04:58,440 --> 00:04:59,440 Sam. 90 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,040 Look at that. 91 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,800 Cause of death is a strike to the medulla oblongata, 92 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,400 one blow will kill you instantly, 93 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,080 it would require some knowledge of anatomy, 94 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,080 either that or the killer struck lucky. 95 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,160 - So this is murder? - Oh, I'm afraid so, yes. 96 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:34,960 Could you have a stab at the murder weapon? 97 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:36,920 Oh, yes, very good, 98 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,560 only that it's about half an inch in diameter, 99 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,120 it made a penetrating injury between the occipital 100 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,120 and C1 causing radial splits. 101 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:47,120 However, it has left, 102 00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:51,760 an oily residue. 103 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:55,320 Right, well, we should, um... 104 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,200 Cordon the scene, draught in uniform to do a search, 105 00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:01,480 make a list of everyone in the house and collate statements. 106 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:02,600 Exactly. 107 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:03,560 Do you mind if I leave you to it, 108 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,280 while I go and break the news? 109 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:08,000 I mean, it's a tough job, but someone has to do it. 110 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:11,520 Um, yes, you might want to, um... 111 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,600 Sir, CC Lowsely needs to see you urgently. 112 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:17,680 I, I... 113 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,080 Fine. 114 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,920 We have a political hot potato. 115 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,280 The Miss World competition is in three months 116 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,320 and the host nation can't be seen to have 117 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,920 a random beauty queen killer on the loose. 118 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,440 There's no evidence of that yet, sir. 119 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,520 There are no reports of any intruders, 120 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:41,440 although we are yet to speak to the security guard. 121 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:45,040 Hm, well, that may be, but la grande fromage 122 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:47,240 have ordered a press embargo 123 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,040 and the Met are sending an officer 124 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:51,720 to oversee our investigation. 125 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,600 - Scotland Yard? - What the hell? 126 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:57,720 Yes, I thought you'd be pleased. 127 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,320 So, you know the plan? 128 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:07,080 Roll out the red carpet, welcome him with open arms, 129 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,880 full cooperation and I expect nothing less 130 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,240 than maximum effort. 131 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:12,360 Sir. 132 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,240 And last but not least, 133 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:19,480 make bloody sure he doesn't solve the case first, capiche? 134 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,160 Sir. 135 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,280 I will try and extract the materials 136 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:32,640 from the wound residue, 137 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,440 it may shed some light on the murder weapon. 138 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,640 The victim was seen leaving the dinner at 8:35, 139 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,440 it leaves us a murder window of 13 minutes. 140 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,880 Eight without alibis, one of the chaperones, 141 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,240 Lesley Canon and six contestants. 142 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,360 Oh, keep your shirt on, I'm embargoed, remember? 143 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,680 I thought you might appreciate some background. 144 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,960 Perfect timing, what do you know about the dead girl? 145 00:07:58,040 --> 00:07:59,840 Brassiere model from Coleraine. 146 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,880 Oh, steady, tiger. 147 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,440 One or three favourites along with Miss Walton-on-Thames 148 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,016 and Miss Cardiff, so if you're looking for a motive, 149 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,096 well, their chances of winning 150 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,720 have just increased by a third. 151 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,720 Is a beauty title really worth killing over? 152 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,760 I'd say so, 3,000 pounds, a sports car 153 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,280 - and entry into Miss World. - Hm. 154 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,960 You know the words, a passport to fame and fortune. 155 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,840 Well, Miss Walton-on-Thames has black hair 156 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:21,200 and there are... 157 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:24,280 Two more with black hair that don't have alibis. 158 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:26,040 Right, so tomorrow we take hair samples 159 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:27,880 and show this plod from Scotland Yard, 160 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,520 that we don't need him. 161 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:32,360 DCI Clifford Winner, he's the youngest officer in the Met 162 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:36,240 to make DCI, his arrest record is legendary. 163 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:43,320 Query intruder. 164 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:44,920 Rustle up some teas, will you, darling? 165 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,280 Don't forget the biscuits. 166 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,800 Thank you, WPC Button. 167 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:51,280 Did you get a statement 168 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:53,480 - from the security guard? - No, not yet, 169 00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,960 he was off sick yesterday, but we'll get one today. 170 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,080 Morning, DI Sam Gillespie. 171 00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,880 DCI Clifford Winner. 172 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:03,280 Mrs. Clam missed you at breakfast. 173 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,600 Egg, if I'm not mistaken? 174 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,560 I came in early to write up the reports. 175 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,840 In my book, early's on time, on time is late 176 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:12,760 and late is unacceptable. 177 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,480 So, should we get on? 178 00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:21,320 Option one, an intruder, option two, it was an inside job. 179 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:23,520 We'll be taking hair samples 180 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,016 to try and match those found on the body. 181 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:26,720 This was a brutal attack, 182 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,920 this is more than just tantrums and tiaras. 183 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,800 What we need is a murder weapon. 184 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,880 I'm examining residues from the wounds 185 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,600 to see if that sheds light, oh, Sister Boniface, 186 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:39,160 police scientific advisor and you, I deduce are DCI Winner? 187 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,920 I was at the Post Office and you forgot your lunch, 188 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,560 Mrs. Clam would have brought them, 189 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,416 but she has a first day cover of native songbirds 190 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,880 and is expecting a veritable stampede of twitchers. 191 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,160 Couldn't you have given them to the poor and needy? 192 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,720 It seemed uncharitable to add to their burden. 193 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,920 Well, thank you, Sister. 194 00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:00,680 I'll let you know when and if I require your services. 195 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,080 Yes, right. 196 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:04,040 Toodle-oo. 197 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,320 Well, I heard rumours about the place, 198 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,080 but this takes the Garibaldi. 199 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,520 And then there's option three, 200 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:21,400 which I'm amazed has escaped you, this security guard, 201 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:24,120 who conveniently went AWOL the day after the murder. 202 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,280 He's a local man, he's not a suspect. 203 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,120 Let me be the judge of that. 204 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,040 I'll leave you to play hairdresser, 205 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,376 - while I go and talk to him. - Would you like me 206 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,440 - to come with you, sir? - Good lad. 207 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,320 We may need WPC Button to come with us. 208 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,440 What do we want her for? 209 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,480 He patrolled the ground once an hour 210 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,096 and didn't see anyone. 211 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:52,680 Dog. 212 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:54,880 Did you see Miss Belfast, Tom? 213 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:59,800 No. 214 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,080 What did he say? 215 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,360 Well, he may be a Tom, but he's no peeper, 216 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:09,816 he'd seen enough and got on with his rounds. 217 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:13,160 Take a statement, preferably in English. 218 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:18,640 Local dialect, sir, you get used to it or so I'm told. 219 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,480 Oh, you clearly don't hail from these parts? 220 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:24,920 I'm on secondment from the Bermuda Police. 221 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,920 My placement was supposed to be at Scotland Yard. 222 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,400 Then how the hell did you end up 223 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,880 in this Godforsaken backwater? 224 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,400 I put it down to a series of unfortunate events. 225 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,600 Actually, sir, um, 226 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,240 I still hope to get there one day. 227 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,400 Impress me and maybe you will. 228 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:45,920 Right, let's see what the Beauty King 229 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,160 has to say for himself. 230 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,800 I sincerely hope I'm not a suspect? 231 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,280 Purely for purposes of elimination. 232 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,240 Did you know Clodagh well? 233 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,560 We'd been competing together for years. 234 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:10,920 She was a consummate professional, 235 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,520 never a hair out of place. 236 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,720 I wonder. 237 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,800 Leonardo of Mayfair does mine, 238 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:21,120 if it's ruined, there'll be merry hell to pay. 239 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:23,480 Watch out, greenhorn. 240 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,080 They don't think I should be here. 241 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:33,320 I was runner up in Miss Glasgow 242 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:37,240 and she got herself up the duff, so here am I by default. 243 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,680 Why the sudden urge to enter a beauty contest? 244 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,360 I reckoned I had more chance of winning than the Pools. 245 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:45,760 My dad lost his job 246 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,000 and we've eight mouths to feed on my wages. 247 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:50,480 One of the girls at the factory entered Miss Glasgow 248 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:53,520 and I thought if she can, why not me? 249 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,080 Why not indeed, I'll say a prayer for you. 250 00:12:57,160 --> 00:13:01,000 Thanks, Sister, but I think I probably need a miracle. 251 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:07,520 Right, that's all of them. 252 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:08,896 Should we get them back to the lab? 253 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,240 Yes, but first a detour via the victim's room. 254 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:13,400 But you've already searched it. 255 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:24,480 So were you dropped on the head as a baby? 256 00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:25,576 You think I'd be stupid enough to have an affair 257 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:27,480 with one of my contestants? 258 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:29,200 I imagine you get plenty of offers. 259 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:32,920 I'm ringmaster training these girls for a performance, 260 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,360 a bunch of highly strung performers, I might add, 261 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,520 so I threaten, I cajole and I advise them. 262 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:40,696 One step beyond the platonic, I'd be finished. 263 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,736 Then how do you explain what the security guard saw? 264 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,200 Why don't you ask the lady in question? 265 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,656 Come back in the morning. 266 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:54,720 Please, Mr. Canon, three minutes. 267 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,720 You've got two. 268 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,080 Why would a girl as neat as a pin 269 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:12,680 leave her drawers in disarray? 270 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,960 What, do you think someone got here first? 271 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,920 The question is did they find what they were looking for? 272 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,200 Hello. 273 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:33,400 It got blown to the back, so partially burned, 274 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:36,120 a card judging by the thickness. 275 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,600 Why burn it rather than throw it in the bin? 276 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:41,080 Well, what's written inside may tell us more. 277 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,560 Burnt to a crisp. 278 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,320 Oh, you'd be amazed at the restorative powers 279 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:47,160 - of a chloral hydrate bath. - Hm. 280 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:49,400 Do you know who did it? 281 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,680 Everyone's saying some nutter got into the grounds. 282 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,080 We can't speculate on that at the moment. 283 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,640 Were you friends? 284 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,040 No one could call us that after Miss Swimsuit, 285 00:14:58,120 --> 00:14:59,840 she tripped me on the catwalk, 286 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:02,160 flat on my face in front of the judges, 287 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:03,520 claimed it was an accident, 288 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,040 but everyone knew what she was like. 289 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,320 What was she like? 290 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,040 Well, let's just say she wouldn't win 291 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:11,440 a Miss Popularity contest, not that I'd wish her dead, mind. 292 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,320 Thank you for your frankness. 293 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,600 You're welcome. 294 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,920 You need anything else, just let me know. 295 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,480 Has anyone said, you look just like Sean Connery? 296 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:26,360 What? 297 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:43,320 So what happened last night? 298 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,520 Just tell them the truth. 299 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:50,560 I needed to talk to Mr. Canon. 300 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:52,800 Ah, leave the door open. 301 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,880 - I'm as pretty as them. - Yeah. 302 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,120 I can smile and walk in a straight line. 303 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,920 So what do you have to do to win? 304 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,880 Come here, turn around. 305 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:14,920 Here. 306 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:21,360 It's your hair, dated, makes you look like Doris Day. 307 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:35,360 Whereas this year's judges want Brigitte Bardot. 308 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:42,200 Go on, get lost, close the door, will you? 309 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:49,560 And then what? 310 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,760 Then I went back to my room. 311 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,040 So if there's nothing else, 312 00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,120 we've a beauty contest to put on. 313 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,200 Come on. 314 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,680 You believe a word of that? 315 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:16,720 Hairstyling advice, I've never heard it called that before. 316 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,840 What, you think they're lying? 317 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,320 I think they had plenty of time 318 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,680 to concoct a story between them 319 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:26,160 and an affair would topple the Beauty King's empire. 320 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:27,456 What about Miss Cardiff? 321 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,120 Doesn't have an alibi. 322 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,160 Certainly no love lost between her and the victim. 323 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,840 I think I found something, sir. 324 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,800 Sister Boniface thinks that the killer blow 325 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:38,960 may have indicated a knowledge of anatomy. 326 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:40,640 Lesley Canon's background checks, 327 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,080 he served in the Royal Army Medical Corps during the war. 328 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:43,880 Did he now? 329 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,600 Yes. 330 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,680 Do some digging into the Beauty King's army record. 331 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:50,800 Nice work, sir. 332 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,480 Help me crack this and that secondment's in the bag. 333 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,560 Something you haven't told me? 334 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,880 Ah, no, it's not what it looks like. 335 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,360 He only offered to put in a good word, that's all. 336 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:07,240 Don't tell me we're not good enough for you. 337 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,280 Of course not, but I did come here 338 00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,600 to learn from the cutting edge of modern policing 339 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,520 and I feel there's more for me to learn. 340 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:18,920 I'd better get onto those army records. 341 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:26,880 I am not being left on my own to the mercies of Mrs. Clam. 342 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,800 If DCI Winner solves this case, 343 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,240 Felix will be on the first train back to London. 344 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,640 How long will this take? 345 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,000 Longer with you ranting at my shoulder. 346 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,960 Cutting edge of modern policing, 347 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,600 I'll give him cutting edge. 348 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:41,456 What's cutting edge about ruddy rules and regulations? 349 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:42,920 We have a match. 350 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,640 Your hairs were found entangled in the victim's watch, 351 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:49,760 can you explain how they got there? 352 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:51,560 I imagine because she attacked me 353 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,000 on the, well, on the day she died. 354 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,720 You know the rules. 355 00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:01,656 Any more silly beggars and you'll be disqualified, 356 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:03,080 you got that? 357 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,240 The same goes for the rest of you. 358 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:06,320 Mr. Canon! 359 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,520 It was you that told. 360 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,760 Are you that scared that I'm going to win? 361 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:16,880 Scared of you? 362 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,160 I'm not the one who needs upholstering. 363 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:20,896 I haven't finished with you. 364 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:24,920 Now you've done it! 365 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,600 Pack it in! 366 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:28,600 Not the face, hey, I said not the face! 367 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,440 What are you playing at? 368 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,000 All that over bone swimwear? 369 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:39,200 It reduces the waist and accentuates the bust. 370 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:40,720 Everyone bends the rules a little, 371 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:44,040 but she was a sneaky Betty, 372 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:47,680 always going through our things looking for rule breakers. 373 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,400 I wasn't the only one by any means. 374 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:51,720 Can I go now? 375 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,880 - I've got a rehearsal. - Hm. 376 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:02,680 Miss Grimsby's vital statistics are 38, 25, 36. 377 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,600 About time, garland's going up next. 378 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,800 Miss Grimsby also has a set of her own teeth, 379 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,680 although you wouldn't know it. 380 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,440 Better, number five, Miss Glasgow. 381 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:14,560 Bit more of a head toss on the walk, 382 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,800 try it on the stairs as you come up. 383 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:24,480 Lovely stuff, see, that makes all the difference, 384 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,200 starting to look like a winner now. 385 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,200 It seems Miss Belfast was a snoop. 386 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:43,040 Maybe she found something and decided to turn blackmailer. 387 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:45,200 Your timing couldn't be more fortuitous. 388 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:48,400 Our mysteriously burnt card perhaps. 389 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:51,200 The chloral hydrate treatment clarified the letters, 390 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,280 but no, they're too faint to make out. 391 00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:56,200 If it's either ink or pencil, 392 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,280 infrared photography may be more efficacious, 393 00:20:58,360 --> 00:20:59,960 that's the bad news. 394 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,640 The good news is I think I've identified the murder weapon. 395 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:03,720 Ah-ha! 396 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:07,400 Oh, yes, Ruth, thank you for coming. 397 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,800 I'm intrigued to know the reason for my summons. 398 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:11,120 That makes two of us. 399 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,040 Well, Miss Penny's presence is pertinent 400 00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:17,120 for prop purposes, the wound residue is a mixture of wax, 401 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:21,120 naphtha, turpentine, dye, lanolin and gum Arabic, 402 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,520 - shoe polish. - Ah. 403 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,560 Black shoe polish, to be precise. 404 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,200 - May I? - Wha- 405 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,536 Just one will suffice, yes, thank you. 406 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:28,560 Right. 407 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,600 Well, I'll have you know those are Claude Chang 408 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:34,920 and cost 40 guineas. 409 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,416 My entire wardrobe cost less than that. 410 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,480 Yes, that had been noted. 411 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:42,440 Courtesy of Mr. Button, pig skin being remarkably similar 412 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:45,000 in composition to human skin, observe. 413 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:46,440 Oh, hell's bells. 414 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,960 Sister, no! 415 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,560 Behold, the murder weapon has been under our noses 416 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,520 all this time or rather on someone's foot. 417 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,800 Oh, um, I'll just dab that for you. 418 00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,800 As good as new, almost. 419 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,280 Death by stiletto, you angel, 420 00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:04,160 which means that Scotland Yard 421 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,160 have been on the wrong foot with Lesley Canon. 422 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,200 Yes, very good, yes, without a leg to stand on. 423 00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:15,000 Though it does rather point to a female perpetrator. 424 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:16,640 Hm, the question is 425 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,160 where did they dispose of the murder weapon? 426 00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:22,200 Oh no, no self-respecting female would willingly 427 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,400 dispose of a pair of designer stilettos, nope. 428 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,200 I'd wager she's still wearing them. 429 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,040 Ah, we need to look at all the shoes 430 00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:33,560 of all the girls without alibis. 431 00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:55,800 Initial indications suggest 432 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:57,920 it may have been used to wipe the murder weapon, 433 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,880 which apropos has been identified as a black stiletto. 434 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,920 A shoe, are you sure? 435 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,080 99.8%. 436 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:05,440 Good work, Sister. 437 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,680 That's a first, albeit a bit late 438 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:09,720 now I've nabbed our culprit. 439 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,416 This was found yards from the crime scene. 440 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,760 - Who searched the area? - Me, sir, 441 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:16,200 it wasn't there or I'd have seen it. 442 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:17,920 Captain of the Ladies Junior Darts Team 443 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,480 without the aid of ocular assistance. 444 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,280 WPC Button is very reliable, sir. 445 00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:23,240 Which raises the possibility, 446 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:24,880 that it could have been planted. 447 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,120 I prefer the possibility that you're making excuses 448 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,040 for your officer's cockup. 449 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:30,760 You realise how much time you've wasted, 450 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,080 because of your incompetence? 451 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,080 If it was down to me, this would be a disciplinary matter. 452 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:38,800 I'll get these back to the lab for tests. 453 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,320 And that, gentlemen, 454 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,840 is why they shouldn't let women join the police. 455 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,240 See if Miss Glasgow's got a pair of black stilettos 456 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,256 - and bag it as evidence. - And also all the shoes 457 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,760 of all the contestants without alibis. 458 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:55,120 Did I say that? 459 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,000 Until we've heard what the suspect has to say, 460 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,480 I don't want you wasting any more of my time 461 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:00,760 and that's an order. 462 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:15,760 Silly girl, actually starting to believe she could win it. 463 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:21,056 It's not "Sunday Night at the Palladium," girls, 464 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:22,320 come on, let's get back inside. 465 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,520 Come on, inside, shoo, let's go. 466 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:40,480 You were given a direct order. 467 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,000 From CC Lowsley, 468 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,680 "Don't let Scotland Yard solve the case first." 469 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,800 Perhaps that has clouded your judgement. 470 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:50,440 Peggy would never miss that sash, you know that 471 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,640 and talking of clouded judgement, how- 472 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,000 How about your vested interest 473 00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,680 in helping Scotland Yard solve this case? 474 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,400 Can't you see, he's a man who's all mouth and no trousers? 475 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,880 He is a man I would emulate. 476 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,400 Ah, and there was I thinking we made a good team. 477 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,160 I didn't mean. 478 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:13,320 We do, apart from your blatant disregard of the rule book. 479 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,520 I don't give a flying fig about the rule. 480 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,320 No, but I do. 481 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,040 Are you gonna grass me up? 482 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,360 Of course not. 483 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,840 Right, well, I'll take these 484 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,240 and we'll see what Sister Boniface has to say. 485 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:38,400 I'm afraid traces of shoe polish and brain tissue 486 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:40,480 leave no doubt the sash was used 487 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,560 to wipe the murder weapon clean. 488 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,160 It's all a little convenient. 489 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:47,600 I'll eat my hat, if it wasn't planted. 490 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:51,040 That would be more digestible than Mrs. Clam's cooking. 491 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,960 Right, let's see if these shoes have a tale to tell. 492 00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:57,240 - Lights, please. - Yeah. 493 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,600 Well, luckily for your digestive tract, 494 00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:16,240 no signs of blood on Miss Glasgow's, 495 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,280 or any of them for that matter, 496 00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:20,840 these girls maintain their footwear with military precision, 497 00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:22,376 spit and polish, unfortunately for us. 498 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,200 Well, that's that then. 499 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,680 Well, the polish may have created a barrier, 500 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:28,800 I'll scrape it off and see if it reveals anything. 501 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,120 I'd better get this back. 502 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:34,440 I can already imagine the look on his smug face. 503 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:42,160 Aye, that's mine, but I lost it, 504 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,480 after rehearsal on Wednesday. 505 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,400 One of the others pinched it probably. 506 00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:47,960 Are they in the habit of that? 507 00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,200 They are with me. 508 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:52,080 When did you meet Lesley Canon? 509 00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:55,080 At Miss Glasgow. 510 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:56,480 Your first competition, 511 00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:59,920 when you came runner up, pretty impressive. 512 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,800 Are you sure you didn't get a little leg up 513 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:03,680 from the contest organiser? 514 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:05,600 Or should that be a leg over? 515 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,240 He's older than my grandad? 516 00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,240 You wouldn't be the first to shut her eyes 517 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,840 and think of England or in this case, Miss United Britain. 518 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:15,240 In your dreams. 519 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:18,560 Did Miss Belfast found out 520 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,360 and threaten to spill the beans? 521 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,200 That would've been the end of your competition. 522 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:24,560 I'd like to see you prove it. 523 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:28,840 There's no results from the shoes as yet, 524 00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:31,360 but Sister Boniface has confirmed, 525 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:34,800 that this was used to clean the murder weapon. 526 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,200 Looks like we just did. 527 00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:40,960 I'll leave you to charge her at least, 528 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,280 while I deliver the good news to the Commissioner. 529 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:50,000 I didn't do it. 530 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,680 Off the record, I believe you. 531 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:58,160 They can't put me in the jail, I-I've a family to feed. 532 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,600 I won't let it come to that, you have my word. 533 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,040 The powers that be are jumping for joy 534 00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:09,200 at such a timely result. 535 00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,480 She hasn't confessed. 536 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:12,560 She will, 537 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,400 copper's nose, 538 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,800 I can smell guilt and she reeked of it. 539 00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:21,560 I get it, no one likes someone else stealing their thunder, 540 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:25,680 but the Met's motto is we lead, others follow. 541 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:29,800 Talking of which, are you set up for that transfer? 542 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:38,760 Yes, that is to say, thank you, thank you, sir. 543 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,400 Congratulations, it's what you always wanted. 544 00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:47,200 I'm on the VIP table tonight, join me 545 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:49,240 and I'll give you the low down on my firm. 546 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,120 You can't go, Sarge, 547 00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,560 there'll be no one to organise the systems. 548 00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:00,360 I couldn't stay forever, Peggy. 549 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:02,360 Look, I'll write and you can come visit. 550 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,840 You always wanted to see the Crown Jewels, 551 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:06,440 we can go sightseeing together. 552 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:09,520 My dad went to London once, 553 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:11,560 didn't see a single smile all day. 554 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,040 Yeah, Gillespie. 555 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:20,736 I'll be right there. 556 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:22,280 Where are you going? 557 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,480 Just security for tonight. 558 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:38,200 Automatic disqualification and the end of her career 559 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:39,760 as a beauty queen. 560 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:41,600 You have answered my prayers, Sister 561 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:43,360 or at least half a prayer. 562 00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:46,840 It won't be enough for Winner, we need some hard evidence. 563 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:49,640 Now there's nothing under the polish, 564 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,440 but fact, if this is the murder weapon, 565 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:54,720 then Locard's principle will prevail 566 00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:57,520 and there will be an exchange. 567 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:05,880 - Lights. - Yeah. 568 00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:16,640 Infuriating. 569 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:18,880 I never called it a principle, you know, 570 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,280 or used the word, exchange. 571 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:23,600 Well, it seems to have caught on and as a catchphrase, 572 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,000 you'll have to admit, it does have a certain ring to it. 573 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:27,320 What has? 574 00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,200 Monsieur Trace is shy and microscopic 575 00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:32,480 and though he likes to conceal himself, 576 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,600 eventually he must emerge blinking into the light. 577 00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:39,360 Try beneath the leather. 578 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:41,680 Roger that. 579 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:42,800 Roger what? 580 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,440 So, you have read my tract? 581 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:52,080 You could say it's my second "Bible." 582 00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:53,920 Are you talking to yourself again? 583 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,760 I was not sure about my volume five. 584 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:57,720 Do you think I started to repeat myself? 585 00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:02,280 Well, you did go on a bit, but personally I enjoyed it. 586 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:03,880 Lights. 587 00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:14,760 Bingo! 588 00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:15,840 Got her. 589 00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:20,320 And we are live from the grounds of Slaughter Abbey, 590 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,120 where in one hour, 11 eye-riveting glamorettes 591 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,920 will vie to become Miss United Britain. 592 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,240 And with the enviable task of selecting the winners, 593 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,080 this year's judges, actor Rex Cooper! 594 00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:34,840 Racing driver, Harry Gumble 595 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:36,320 and comedian, Terry Pepper. 596 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,800 Terry's got something to laugh about. 597 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,320 But before the eye-popping bevvy of beauties, 598 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,840 we have live music from the Bello Brothers. 599 00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:52,120 Could I have a word, please? 600 00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,640 It's mine, but one of the others must've taken it. 601 00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:01,920 There were plenty didn't like her apart from me. 602 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:05,440 You were in the exercise room between eight and nine p.m. 603 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:07,520 The route back took you passed the swimming pool. 604 00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:10,680 You're saying I killed her over a stupid contest. 605 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:12,920 That's the game, you win some, you lose some, 606 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:14,640 there's always a next time. 607 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,440 Not for you, 608 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,320 Clodagh's snooping reaped dividends on this occasion, 609 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,880 enough to get you disqualified for life. 610 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:25,640 It's burnt, you can't read that. 611 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:29,720 No, but we can read an infrared photograph 612 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:31,160 "From Carys." 613 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,000 Happy birthday, Mummy. 614 00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:41,880 I didn't mean to kill her. 615 00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:49,960 Whose been a naughty girl? 616 00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:53,240 What are you gonna snitch on me for? 617 00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:56,400 I'll give you, the kid didn't ruin your figure. 618 00:32:57,760 --> 00:32:59,080 Nice card, 619 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,000 Mum. 620 00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:04,600 I was only 15 when I had her. 621 00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:07,560 She was so beautiful and she was mine, 622 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,000 I just couldn't give her up. 623 00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:12,360 You'd have done the same thing in my shoes. 624 00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:14,880 Hardly, unlike you, I'm still freshly packaged. 625 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:18,120 I'm begging you, don't say anything, 626 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:21,000 not for me, but for her, her name's Carys and she- 627 00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:23,520 I couldn't give a monkey's for your little mistake. 628 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:25,680 You're finished. 629 00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,040 Once they find out, you'll be Miss Nobody. 630 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,240 An unlucky blow indeed. 631 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:48,360 You wiped your shoe on Miss Glasgow's sash. 632 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:49,800 I found it by the pool. 633 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,640 So you planted it, surely that was risky? 634 00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:53,960 I heard you talking. 635 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:55,320 Burnt to a crisp. 636 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,000 You'd be amazed 637 00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,760 at the restorative powers of a chloral hydrate bath. 638 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:01,840 Do you know who did it? 639 00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:03,520 You knew we were getting close, 640 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,840 so you framed an innocent woman for murder. 641 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:07,840 It was her or Carys, 642 00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:11,080 what chance would she have with a mother in prison? 643 00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:14,640 All I wanted was for her to have a better future than mine, 644 00:34:14,720 --> 00:34:16,720 for her to be able to succeed without, 645 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,880 without taking her clothes off and getting leered at. 646 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:23,480 I did it for my daughter. 647 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:26,880 Sally Ann Jones, I'm arresting you 648 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,040 for the murder of Clodagh Kilpatrick. 649 00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:31,400 You do not have to say anything, but anything you do say 650 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,760 may be written down and given in evidence. 651 00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:40,680 And you couldn't ask for a field of shapelier fillies, 652 00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,000 than those coming under starters orders 653 00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:46,120 for this year's Miss United Britain stakes, 654 00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,440 a veritable cornucopia of beauties. 655 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:51,016 And for the moment all the men in the audience 656 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:52,280 have been waiting for, 657 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,360 the best of the peaches from the beaches, 658 00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:57,000 it's the Swimwear Round. 659 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:00,920 Now for the facts and figures. 660 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:04,480 Airline stewardess, Miss Walton-on-Thames, 661 00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:08,000 36, 24, 36. 662 00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:11,520 Certainly the hostess with the mostest. 663 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:14,640 Miss Newcastle is a bookkeeper from South Shields, 664 00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:17,080 who would think it, brains and beauty. 665 00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:19,776 And from the look on the judges' faces, 666 00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,720 they can put two and two together. 667 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,760 Number two, Miss Cardiff, Sally Ann Jo, 668 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:31,640 sorry, that's number five, Miss Glasgow, Moira McDonald, 669 00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:34,800 37, 24, 35. 670 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:38,520 Five feet 10 of Caledonian cutie. 671 00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:41,160 Miss Weston-super-Mare is a secretary, 672 00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:44,360 she can take down my dictation anytime. 673 00:36:01,720 --> 00:36:03,880 You'd better have a good explanation 674 00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:05,816 or you'll be spending the remainder of your career 675 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:06,920 directing traffic. 676 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:08,720 She confessed. 677 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:10,880 Well done, Inspector. 678 00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:13,840 I had a feeling that you'd score a last minute goal. 679 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,080 I'm not sure what you've been led to believe, 680 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:19,160 but I was fully appraised at all stages of the investigation 681 00:36:19,240 --> 00:36:21,760 and your men were acting under my instructions, 682 00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:23,760 as DS Livingstone can confirm. 683 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:28,240 I'm sure I can count on you to back me up. 684 00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:33,600 That's not necessary, DCI Winner is correct. 685 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:34,736 I'll tell you about it later, sir. 686 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:36,800 Oh, I can't wait. 687 00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:45,120 I'm glad you see things my way, because we're off tonight. 688 00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:47,360 Tonight, I thought this would take weeks? 689 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:50,360 Big job just landed and they need manpower. 690 00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:52,520 So give you half an hour to pack up your things 691 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:54,080 and I'll see you at the station. 692 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:56,280 Yes, sir. 693 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:04,360 I suppose this is goodbye. 694 00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:05,440 Merely adieu. 695 00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:08,400 Now you will come back and visit us? 696 00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:12,480 Of course, Sister and I'll wear gloves at crime scenes 697 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:15,840 and I will send Peggy a postcard from all of the sights 698 00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:18,000 and I will telephone before nine. 699 00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:21,360 Scotland Yard are lucky to have you. 700 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,080 I will never forget Great Slaughter. 701 00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:26,560 I can say hand on heart, 702 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,440 this has been an education and a privilege. 703 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:40,400 Right, you'd better go and break the news to Mrs. Clam. 704 00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:43,080 There's a conversation I don't envy. 705 00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,080 There's no need for you to come, Mrs. Clam. 706 00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:00,320 Nonsense, someone had to see you off. 707 00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:07,320 You don't get fresh game where you're going. 708 00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:09,400 - Thank you. - Sandwiches for the journey, 709 00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:10,840 I made your favourite, 710 00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:13,560 at least I couldn't remember what it was, 711 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,360 so I made egg and cress. 712 00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,080 Thank you, Miss Thimble. 713 00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:21,640 - No sharing. - Thank you, Tom. 714 00:38:21,720 --> 00:38:23,360 Oh, bye, Sarge. 715 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:26,520 Oh, if you're still on for the Crown Jewels, 716 00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:28,160 I reckon I can brave a trip to London. 717 00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:30,280 You don't let her out of your sight, mind, 718 00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:33,200 she'd be an innocent dove amongst a flock of vultures. 719 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:34,520 Aye. 720 00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:36,320 Two innocent doves. 721 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:37,640 I will write. 722 00:38:37,720 --> 00:38:39,720 You'll do more than that, I hope. 723 00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,280 There's always a room for you at the Sea View. 724 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:43,920 - Are we off then? - Oh, right, yeah. 725 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:45,200 Bye, Sarge. 726 00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:48,440 - Up that Smoke there. - Thank you, sir. 727 00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:50,760 - Goodbye. - Take care of yourself. 728 00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:53,800 Bye. 729 00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:57,840 Bright lad like you deserves better 730 00:38:57,920 --> 00:38:59,760 than a bunch of amateur yokels. 731 00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:01,200 They're good people 732 00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:03,960 and they welcomed me, when I was a stranger. 733 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:07,160 Your DI's a maverick sheriff in a one-horse town 734 00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:09,080 and don't get me started on the nun. 735 00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:11,960 Actually sir, even though our methods may be unorthodox, 736 00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:13,936 we do have the highest cleanup rate in the county. 737 00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:16,520 We? Sounds like you've gone native. 738 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:19,080 Looks like I'm getting you out not a moment too soon. 739 00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:23,120 What are you waiting for? Chop chop. 740 00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:39,880 And now we resume live from Miss United Britain, 741 00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,800 where our seven remaining eye-riveting glamorettes 742 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:44,200 await the judges' decision. 743 00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:48,760 In reverse order, third place, 744 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:50,560 Miss Birmingham. 745 00:39:58,280 --> 00:39:59,560 In second place, 746 00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:02,920 Miss Newcastle. 747 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:15,960 And the winner of this year's Miss United Britain is, 748 00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:17,040 Miss Glasgow. 749 00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:46,040 Well, one prayer at least has been answered. 750 00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:51,720 The comfort of having a friend may be taken away, 751 00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:53,440 but not that of having had one. 752 00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:03,920 To Felix, a fine officer and an even finer friend. 753 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:05,480 - Hear, hear. - Sorely missed. 754 00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:06,680 - Hear, hear! - To Felix. 755 00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:07,640 - Dr. Livingstone. - To Felix. 756 00:41:07,720 --> 00:41:08,760 - To Felix. - Aye. 757 00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:10,520 To Felix. 758 00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:12,160 The usual, please George. 759 00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:15,240 You forget something? 760 00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:16,840 Apart from my integrity? 761 00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:19,480 Ah, I understood. 762 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:22,280 DCI Winner would not have understood. 763 00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:25,400 He's not someone I can look up to, nevermind call a friend. 764 00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:29,240 You mean? 765 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:30,320 He's staying! 766 00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:33,520 Who is? 767 00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:36,400 Sergeant Livingstone has come to his senses. 768 00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,720 Oh, welcome home, Sarge. 769 00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:49,720 Mistress Mumsy! 770 00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:56,960 So, what do you say then, lad? 771 00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:58,880 Ah, thank you, Tom. 772 00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:00,560 Yeah! 773 00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:07,400 You do realise you just volunteered 774 00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:09,720 to be next year's Mistress Flumsy? 775 00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:13,160 Yes, she or rather, he leads the annual Mummers Parade 776 00:42:13,240 --> 00:42:15,920 in town, while being flagellated with twigs. 777 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:19,160 Oh, but don't worry, the flagellation's purely symbolic. 778 00:42:19,240 --> 00:42:20,680 It's a great honour. 779 00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:23,560 Hold the front page. 780 00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:26,680 I think he's pleased.