1 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:05,760 Wait. 2 00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:40,160 Oh, hi. 3 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:43,800 What? 4 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:45,600 Good God. 5 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,880 Bye. 6 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,720 - Thank you. - No problem. 7 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,120 Morning. How are you? 8 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:14,760 Cool. Kicking pizza. 9 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,560 You can just take my number. 10 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:21,200 Oh. Oh, my God. You're Toned Tanya. 11 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,000 Um, I was just taking a photo 12 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:27,000 so the tabs were available for other people, so... 13 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,600 - Here. Take a tab. - Oh, thank you. 14 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,840 Wow. Your wrists are tiny. 15 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,160 You actually have a really small frame. 16 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:43,560 There is a small person inside of you dying to get out. 17 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:47,040 Oh. Well, I hope that small person's okay in there. 18 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:49,720 I know, it can seem impossible. But you can do this. 19 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,160 You weren't meant to carry around this extra weight. 20 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,880 Oh. Wow. Um, very cool. 21 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:56,520 I know I can help you. 22 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,600 - Well, that's very nice. Thank you. - No. 23 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,120 Thank yourself for the amazing way you're gonna feel 24 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,960 after you give yourself permission to be well. 25 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:06,800 Thank you, me. 26 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:09,760 You could be so pretty. 27 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,120 That was crazy. 28 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,680 Oh. No. No, that was cool. 29 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,920 She wants me to transform, like a Transformer. 30 00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:25,080 You're funny! You're like Rosie O'Donnell. 31 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,880 I think that every time you come in here. 32 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,600 I think, "Who does she remind me of? Rosie O'Donnell." 33 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,120 Wow. Thank you. 34 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,680 - Yeah. - Okay, well, have a good one, guys. 35 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:36,920 - You too. - You too. 36 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,880 "Piles of old prescription glasses and other treasures 37 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,600 once owned by child ghosts can now be yours. 38 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,760 It's the St. Andrew's Academy rummage sale." 39 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:52,720 It's good. 40 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,480 - Really? - Yeah. I'm into it. 41 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,800 Hey, Gabe! Cool shirt alert! 42 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,880 Did you "cool shirt alert" your grown man boss? 43 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,800 Yes. And I whooed. 44 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,080 Amadi, would I be insane 45 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:11,760 to go and pitch Gabe my idea about Portland's female longshoremen? 46 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:13,480 - I say go for it. - Really? 47 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,000 - Really. - Okay, yes. 48 00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:18,080 - Okay. I'm gonna do it. - Go do it. 49 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:23,440 Hey, Ruthie. 50 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:24,520 What? 51 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,320 - I was just saying hi. - Hi. 52 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:30,360 Would it be okay if I, um, went in and talked to Gabe? 53 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,160 I'm sorry, what? 54 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,160 Can I go in and talk to Gabe? 55 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,120 I'm having a bad day. Look at this. 56 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,840 Is that a little cat or...? 57 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,560 It's a cat that was shot to death. 58 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,760 - Jesus! Why are you looking at that? - I don't know. Shut up. 59 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:45,600 Okay. Thank you. 60 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:50,360 He's not coming. 61 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:52,920 Gabe! 62 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,360 I said come in! 63 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,200 Okay. Thanks, Ruthie. 64 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,360 I'm sorry to interrupt. 65 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:04,240 What is it? 66 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:05,480 I just came in to say 67 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:09,040 that, um, I just loved your article in last week's issue. 68 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,200 It was so great. 69 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:14,400 Did you, um...? Did you really give Henry Rollins a piggyback ride? 70 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,360 That's what we called it back then. 71 00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:19,800 Oh, God. So good. Amazing. 72 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:22,720 - What is it, Annie? - Well, um, first let me just say 73 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,480 you know it's been my dream to work for you, and I've... 74 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:28,200 I've been reading your work since I was 14. 75 00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:29,880 That's adorable. Is there a point? 76 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,760 Well, I know I'm just Assistant Calendar Editor, 77 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:35,520 but I'd really love to write more, and I have some ideas... 78 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,880 Annie, you millennial dumpling. 79 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:41,640 I just want you to work hard and pay your dues. 80 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:43,240 - Okay? - Okay? 81 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:45,200 God, when I was your age, 82 00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:47,600 I was already burning shit down and fucking shit up. 83 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:48,600 Yes. Exactly. 84 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:52,160 And I would love to start fucking some shit up. 85 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:53,560 Annie, please, go away. 86 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:56,400 I love you. You're a vital and tiny cog. 87 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:00,640 Okay. So that's a maybe then, right? 88 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:22,960 - Wait. - What? 89 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:23,880 I just... 90 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,680 - Don't stop. - Okay. 91 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,960 I just wanna leave it on, okay? 92 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,040 Okay. 93 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:33,640 - Yeah? - Yeah. 94 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:39,200 I mean, it always feels so much better no condom. 95 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:40,760 For you too, right? 96 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,440 Yes, absolutely. 97 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:44,840 I was worried too, 98 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,440 because I jacked off like an hour before you got here. 99 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,040 But that was actually really good. 100 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:51,120 Cool. 101 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,800 Hey, you should get a second pillow. 102 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,960 Then I can have one when I sleep over. 103 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:58,880 No way. I'm your pillow. 104 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:04,720 You know, um, it's almost 105 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,880 our six-months-of-fucking anniversary. 106 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,560 Why do you think I brought the water? 107 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:11,720 Well, thanks. 108 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:13,880 - Thanks for that. - You're welcome. 109 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:20,240 Okay. 110 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:22,680 I gotta go back to work. 111 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:26,920 But... do you wanna get dinner tonight? 112 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:28,640 I can't. 113 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:32,560 I'm working on my Alcatraz podcast with Pete and Mike. 114 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:36,040 - Oh, yeah. Um, Talking 'Traz, right? - Yeah. 115 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,360 Um, well, do you work at the hardware store today, or no? 116 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,000 No. My boss Dave suspended me 117 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:45,400 for making free keys for everyone I know. 118 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:49,280 Well, then you should make a key to Dave's house 119 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:51,520 and then kill him and his entire family. 120 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:53,400 That's fucked up. 121 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,440 - His wife just had a baby. - Yeah. 122 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,200 I wasn't serious about the murder, 123 00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:01,640 but you're taking it seriously, so that's good. 124 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:03,800 I'm glad I got to see you. 125 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:05,800 Me too. That was cool. 126 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:07,760 Yeah. 127 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,120 Good God. Stop touching me. 128 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,120 Hey, my roommates are here, so... 129 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,640 Your brother and Pete? I really wanna meet them. 130 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,840 Yeah, and you will, like, definitely. But maybe not today? 131 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:20,040 I don't wanna explain my love life to those clowns. 132 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,320 - Totally. Sure. - Yeah. 133 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,840 Hey, you're cool with going out the back again, right? 134 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,240 - Yeah. - Cool. 135 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:31,880 Come on. 136 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:35,760 Shh! Quietly. 137 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:44,240 Okay, bye. 138 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,360 Oh, wait. Give me a kiss. 139 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:26,400 Hi. 140 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,320 Um, let's see, I got my lotion and my gum, 141 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,680 and my shoelaces for my brown shoes, which I love, 142 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:39,480 um, and could I also get, um, the morning-after pill? 143 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:42,120 I think it's called... Step Two? 144 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:46,160 Thank you. 145 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,400 So, do you sell more of the morning-after pill 146 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:54,080 in the morning or is it kind of an all-day thing? 147 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:58,400 Nick! Do we sell the morning-after pill...? 148 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:01,440 That's okay. We... We don't need to bother Nick. 149 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:04,440 He's, um, doing pill business. 150 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:09,360 Um, I will just pay, and... and this'll be over. 151 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,000 This is the best haircut I've ever done. 152 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:15,240 If I saw you walking down the street, I'd get down on one knee. 153 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:16,560 You look perfect. 154 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:20,040 Fran, you're a genius. Text me if you want a fringe trim. 155 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:23,240 Or text me when you break up with your shitty boyfriend. 156 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:24,920 Bye. Thank you. 157 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,840 - Bye, Annie. - Bye! 158 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,480 Oh, my God. She comes for trims all the time. 159 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:30,400 It's exhausting. 160 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:33,760 I know, and did she even pay you? 'Cause she's the one that never pays. 161 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,680 She never pays me in money. It's always some shit I don't want. 162 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:39,080 I mean, let's see what she brought me this time. 163 00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:41,880 Okay, whoa. 164 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:45,560 Ooh. This could be for you. 165 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:49,400 I don't know. I don't know if I'd really wear this. 166 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,040 Like, could I pull it off? 167 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,760 Also, it looks like the security tags are still on there, 168 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:54,840 which, I don't know, 169 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:57,240 kind of leads me to believe it's all stolen. 170 00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:58,960 Is that our business, though? 171 00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:02,600 Yes, a grifter whose hair I cut brought them into our home, 172 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:04,400 but this stuff is nice. 173 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,920 Good God. 174 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,400 - That looks like a stillborn puppy. - What? 175 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,520 What? Bonkers! Bonkers, no! 176 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,360 Oh, my God, he has a tampon. 177 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:18,720 Was that yours? 178 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:23,320 No. No, I haven't had my period in kind of a while, actually. 179 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,920 - Fuck! - What? 180 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,800 Mia said she wanted to hang out, 181 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:28,680 but I told the other one to come over. 182 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:32,720 Okay. Don't call her "the other one." I really like Sarah. 183 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,640 Yeah, I mean, Sarah's fine. 184 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,440 What...? What are you, Mrs. Doubtfire? 185 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:40,560 You'll get 'em in the same restaurant and just juggle 'em back and forth? 186 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,160 First of all, that's not the plot of Mrs. Doubtfire. 187 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,160 Mrs. Doubtfire is about one man 188 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,560 trying to convince one family that he's two people. 189 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:51,960 I am one person trying to fuck two people as myself. 190 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,320 Okay, well, that is fucked, Fran. 191 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:57,040 What's your problem? 192 00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:00,160 I don't know, I feel... kind of weird. 193 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:02,880 Shit, that's Sarah. Are you okay? 194 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,160 Yeah, I'm fine. 195 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,200 "Submerge the wand..." 196 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:30,600 Fuck! 197 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,800 Oh. Shit. 198 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:48,560 Hello. I'm sorry, I just took this pregnancy test in your bathroom, 199 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,440 and I believe that it's defective, 200 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,640 because it gave me a disturbing false positive, 201 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:54,600 so I would love to do an exchange, please? 202 00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:55,840 How is it defective? 203 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:59,200 Um, it says that I'm pregnant, and that's impossible. 204 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,080 I've been taking the morning-after pill. 205 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:04,760 Oh. Uh, do you weigh over 175 pounds? 206 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:05,920 Yes. 207 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:10,160 The morning-after pill is only dosed for women 175 pounds and under. 208 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:12,880 What? But I've taken it before. 209 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,320 It's supposed to be for emergencies only. 210 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,000 I guess... 211 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:21,880 I'm just wondering why the pharmacist who's usually here when I'm here, 212 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:25,240 the like... Irish hunk, why didn't he tell me 213 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,360 the morning-after pill wouldn't work for me 214 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:30,000 any of the last seven times I've come here and bought it. 215 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,680 Oh, that guy. That guy's very bad at his job. 216 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:33,760 Yeah. 217 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,320 Yeah! 218 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:37,800 Okay. 219 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:45,040 I really need to talk to you. 220 00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:59,920 Seriously. It's important. 221 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,520 Okay, I don't understand. How did this even happen? 222 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,400 I mean, you obviously use birth control. 223 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,040 I mean, usually we do, 224 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:19,280 but I don't know, Ryan loves to raw-dog. 225 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:21,520 Sorry, what? 226 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,080 Well, raw-dogging. 227 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:25,200 It's literally his favorite thing. 228 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,440 So how could I take away his favorite thing? 229 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:30,840 My favorite thing is you not having a child 230 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,400 with a guy who says "raw-dog." 231 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:34,680 You trying to take away my favorite thing? 232 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:37,440 No. No, I just... 233 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,640 I've been using the morning-after pill, 234 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,080 and it didn't work. 235 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:45,240 Are you rich? That's like $50 every time you have sex with Ryan. 236 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:46,600 It's just, he liked me, 237 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:48,720 and I didn't want him to stop liking me, 238 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:51,560 so... I just went with it. 239 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,680 - Wow. - I know. I just... 240 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:57,080 - What do you think I should do? - What? 241 00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:58,360 Get an abortion 242 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,440 before it becomes illegal or something. 243 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:02,320 Yeah, but I keep having 244 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,840 this little thought of, like, maybe this is my chance 245 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:06,920 to be a mom. 246 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,800 Okay, you're gonna have a lot more chances to be a mum, 247 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,160 and maybe we just don't take this one, 248 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,080 which is the one with the guy 249 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,200 who makes you leave through the back gate. 250 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:18,840 I just mean, like... 251 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:22,720 there have been moments in my life... 252 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:28,680 where I, like, didn't think that I would ever get to have that. 253 00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:32,560 You know? Because of what I looked like or... 254 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,760 because there's a certain way that your body is supposed to be, 255 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:38,000 and I'm not that. 256 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:41,600 And that... 257 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,720 maybe if I was just sweet enough and nice enough 258 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,400 and easy-going enough with any guy, 259 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,640 that that would be enough for someone. 260 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,960 Honey, you're being so mean to yourself. I... 261 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:57,080 I mean, it makes me so sad. 262 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,160 Well... 263 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,080 I mean, it's humiliating to say out loud, 264 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:03,720 but it's also the kind of stuff 265 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:06,160 that's fucking going through my head all the time. 266 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,920 Then we need to make sure it's not going through your head 267 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,200 and we need to untrain you 268 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:13,280 from thinking of yourself in such a brutal way. 269 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:18,240 Maybe the first step to doing that is ending things with this Ryan. 270 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:22,640 Yeah. I just... I don't know if I can do that. 271 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,120 I think you can. 272 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:31,200 Do you think it would be okay if I just laid down on this couch 273 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:32,880 and slept here until I died? 274 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,400 I think you have to. 275 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:41,480 Mom? 276 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:46,360 Mom? 277 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,120 - Oh, hi! - Oh, hi. 278 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,640 - I didn't know you were coming over. - Yeah. 279 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,080 Um, where's Dad? 280 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,600 He's laying down. 281 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:58,320 - Oh. How was radiation? - The same. 282 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:01,120 Makes him feel like shit, but that's just how it is. 283 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:04,320 - Yeah. - Hey, are you liking the Thin Menu? 284 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,000 Because I am loving it. 285 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,160 Um, I don't know. It's fine. 286 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,400 I definitely am starving all day long. 287 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,680 Oh, okay, well, are you doing the almonds between meals? 288 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,080 Six almonds keeps me full for hours. 289 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,880 Yeah. I'm doing the almonds. They're so satisfying. 290 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:23,160 Sometimes when I have six almonds, I feel like I had twelve almonds. 291 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:24,400 Oh. You're joking. 292 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:27,160 Sorry. It sucks. 293 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,720 You know, the stuff isn't exactly free, Annie. 294 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,520 Excuse me for trying to do something 295 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,000 to help both of us get a little bit healthier. 296 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,560 Will you take this to your father? 297 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,960 What? Are you mad? 298 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:44,600 - No! - Okay. 299 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:47,200 Oh, God. 300 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:00,680 Hi. 301 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,440 Hey, Annie Banannie! 302 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,400 Welcome to my office. 303 00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:15,160 I like this. What is this? 304 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,280 This is me and Uncle Jerry at the Hungry Turtle. 305 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,040 1977. 306 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:22,960 I was younger than you when I recorded this. 307 00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:27,080 - Where's Mom? - She's in the kitchen. 308 00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:30,160 I bet she'll make you a sandwich if you want it. 309 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:34,080 Remember that chicken salad you made me for Father's Day? 310 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:37,280 That was the best chicken salad I have ever had in my life. 311 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:38,760 It was perfect! 312 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:41,960 Well, I am definitely not perfect. 313 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,920 Really? Well, that's too bad, 'cause I am. 314 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:46,560 Oh, Dad! 315 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:55,960 How are you doing? Okay? 316 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,360 Never better. Really. Mom's taking great care of me. 317 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,960 I'm gonna be back in fighting shape before you know it. 318 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,120 "Take it back." She said, "No." 319 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,800 And I said, "I'm standing here until you take it back." 320 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,400 And she did it! And then she did it! 321 00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:58,440 Thank you. 322 00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:05,960 Um, they actually said I can have a support person, 323 00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:08,320 which means that you can come in with me. 324 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,400 Of course I will. 325 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,400 Okay, Annie, I'm just gonna finish numbing you now. 326 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,640 You might feel some light cramping. 327 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:18,920 You might also feel 328 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,600 some numbing in your tongue or ringing in your ears, okay? 329 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,560 - Okay. - You okay? 330 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,440 Now I'm opening your cervix. 331 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:30,360 Some cramping is normal. 332 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:33,320 Everything looks great, 333 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,680 and we're about two-thirds of the way finished now. 334 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:37,880 You're doing great, Annie. Almost done. 335 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:04,480 Annie? 336 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,360 - Are you awake? - Yes. 337 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,120 - Oh, my God. - Okay, yes? 338 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,480 Wow. Thank you. 339 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:16,920 - You like it? - I'm a genius. 340 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,000 I was right. You look fucking amazing. 341 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,040 I know. I didn't think I was gonna like it, 342 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,920 but I actually really like it. 343 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,480 So, thank you. 344 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,400 How you feeling? 345 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,080 Better. 346 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:31,200 Like, I feel... really good. 347 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:32,920 What happened? 348 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,280 I don't know, I've had the last couple days 349 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,280 to think about a lot of shit. 350 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,480 Like, when I was at my parents' house 351 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,520 and I was just looking at all these photos of me 352 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:45,840 from when I was growing up, 353 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:52,280 and little me was just so happy and fat and had big, dumb dreams. 354 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:57,400 And I got myself into this huge fucking mess. 355 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,960 But I made a decision, 356 00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:03,960 only for me, for myself, 357 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:06,480 and I got myself out of it. 358 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:07,680 Good. 359 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:11,040 I don't know, I feel very fucking powerful right now. 360 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:13,960 And I just feel like I need to go out. 361 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,640 Do it, bitch. I love you. 362 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:17,920 I love you too. 363 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:19,920 Oh, no! 364 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:22,120 - Oh, my gosh. - Okay. 365 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:24,760 - What's happening? - I have no idea, but I like it. 366 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:26,960 I'm afraid that I'm feeling myself. 367 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,480 It's an emergency. 368 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:32,560 Whoa, yes. I need to call 9-9-9. 369 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,240 9-1-1, you idiot. 370 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,960 Some people think Alcatraz is an island off San Francisco, 371 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,240 but I'm here to tell you it's an island of the mind. 372 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:43,480 Oh, shit. 373 00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,000 That's crazy. Did you just think of that? 374 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:49,040 Should our podcast be titled Island of the Mind? 375 00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:51,880 - I like that. - It's already called Talking 'Traz. 376 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:52,960 I'm gonna start again. 377 00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:56,120 Welcome back to Talking 'Traz. 378 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,000 Some people think Alcatraz is an island off San Francisco... 379 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:00,160 - Hi! - ...but I'm here... 380 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:02,400 Oh, hey. 381 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:03,960 Hey. Can we talk? 382 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,480 - Yeah. - Okay. 383 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,120 Hi. I'm Annie. 384 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:11,320 I'm the one that Ryan fucks, so... 385 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:17,600 I just... I wanted you to know that I got pregnant. 386 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:18,680 Oh, shit! 387 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,600 And I had an abortion. 388 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:22,960 That's good news. 389 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,520 Ryan, don't. Don't do that. 390 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:27,400 Okay. 391 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:32,480 Um, I really thought about having a baby with you. 392 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:37,000 And that you would have to take me out to restaurants 393 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,000 and treat me like a normal girl. 394 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,680 And then I just started thinking I shouldn't have to fucking trap you 395 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,840 into treating me like I'm a human being. 396 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,680 And I've been letting people dismiss me 397 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:53,640 or say shit to me about my body my entire life. 398 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,480 And at this point, I just feel like, "Fuck them." 399 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:57,480 Yeah, fuck them. 400 00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:58,960 And fuck you, too. 401 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:00,160 Yeah. I mean... 402 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:02,720 wow. 403 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:07,520 It's probably for the best. 404 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,040 I don't think I could deal with another kid. 405 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:13,280 What? 406 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:16,080 You know, besides Nathaniel, my little man. 407 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,720 Are you telling me you have a fucking child? 408 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,440 Yeah. He's 14. 409 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,680 He lives with his mom and his stepdad in Vancouver. 410 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:27,560 He's a dual citizen, which is cool. 411 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,080 Are you serious? 412 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:30,800 - I told you about Nathaniel. - No. 413 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,840 No, you never told me that you had a child. 414 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,560 I think I would remember that. 415 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,640 I mean, this is exactly my point. Like, I don't know you. 416 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,160 And you don't know me at all. 417 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,960 I can't do this anymore. This is not working. 418 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,200 I... I'm gonna go. 419 00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:50,120 Wait. Annie. 420 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,800 Are you okay? About the thing? 421 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:56,640 The abortion? 422 00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:58,280 Yeah. 423 00:23:58,880 --> 00:23:59,880 I'm okay. 424 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,440 - I'm not into logistics, so... - No, I understand that. 425 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,880 - What are we gonna do? - We got it all taken care of. 426 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,440 - Gabe. - We got Jen and Bob... 427 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:19,920 Gabe, can I give you a quick pitch, please? 428 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:22,680 I found out that the morning-after pill 429 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,640 doesn't work on plus-size women. 430 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:26,560 - I was wondering if I could write... - No. 431 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,080 - Um, yeah, so... - Do we have a team for that? 432 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:33,520 Yes. We've got a team ready... 433 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,360 I'm sorry. Are you fucking kidding me? 434 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,320 You let Andy write an 1,800-word feature 435 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:39,920 about what it's like to do molly, 436 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,320 and then write a second one 437 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,680 called "Return to Molly: Doing Molly Again." 438 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,000 That sucks! I'm better than Andy! 439 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,800 I'm sorry. Andy, you're great in a lot of ways, but I'm... 440 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,560 I'm better in most! 441 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,400 Oh, my God. You're a total bitch. 442 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,440 No, I'm not. 443 00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,280 Yes, you are. You're a shitty cunt. 444 00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:01,720 And I like it. 445 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,320 Really? So... can I write my article? 446 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,440 - No. - Well, Gabe, Carla's out next week, 447 00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:11,920 and we need somebody to write the food follows, so... 448 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,240 Oh, my God. Fine. 449 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:14,520 Wait. Really? 450 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,080 Yes, I don't really give a shit. 451 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,600 - Oh, my God! Thank you so much! - Honey, please. 452 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:23,760 And, Andy, oh, my God, I just sold you out so fucking hard 453 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:25,520 and you did me such a solid! 454 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:26,760 Thank you, man! 455 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:28,640 Oh, my God. 456 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:30,600 - Thank you. - No, just the one is fine. 457 00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:33,800 Okay, you're right. I know. It's just the food follow, and I'm... 458 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,720 I'm so... Thank you. 459 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:37,840 Yes! 460 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:44,440 Damn, girl. 461 00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:58,000 Hey. One second. 462 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,120 - You were supposed to call me! - Yeah, I'm... 463 00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:05,760 I'm actually all good. 464 00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:07,800 - Thank you, though. - But you need a trainer. 465 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,960 Come on, you owe it to yourself. You don't have to settle for this. 466 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,240 - You better call me. - Okay. 467 00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:15,600 Fuck you. 468 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:16,760 Excuse me? 469 00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:21,400 Oh, I just said, "Thank you" for caring about my health. 470 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:22,920 I heard you, and you know what? 471 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,240 I was just trying to help you, you fat bitch. 472 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,720 Subtitles: Lea Espector www.plint.com