1 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:27,875 Okay, yeah, Dad, just press the circle. Just once. Just press it-- 2 00:00:27,958 --> 00:00:30,166 -Okay, wait, tell me when we're going. 3 00:00:30,250 --> 00:00:31,833 -Okay. All right. -Okay. Ready? 4 00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:36,125 Okay. I know I have some things to clear up, so… 5 00:00:37,625 --> 00:00:39,833 I thought this is gonna be the best way. 6 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,875 If you don't like what I'm saying, don't write in the comments 7 00:00:43,958 --> 00:00:47,041 because I will not read it and will not even care. 8 00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:49,791 Okay, here we go. 9 00:00:51,708 --> 00:00:55,333 When I moved to the US, I knew fitting in was gonna be hard. 10 00:00:56,041 --> 00:00:59,625 I just didn't know how bloody hard it was going to be. 11 00:00:59,708 --> 00:01:02,625 And all I wanted was to get invited to the coolest club in town, 12 00:01:03,458 --> 00:01:04,875 Rock 'N' Bowl. 13 00:01:04,958 --> 00:01:06,458 But I never was. 14 00:01:06,541 --> 00:01:10,458 Anyone who was anyone was rolling with their homies on a Saturday night. 15 00:01:10,541 --> 00:01:14,666 It was like basically a VMAs after-party. 16 00:01:15,166 --> 00:01:19,916 So when I turned 14, uh, yeah, that's where I had my birthday. 17 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,125 -Ah! It's an alien baby. -Ew! 18 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:27,125 That's gonna make me sick. I think I'm gonna shit fireballs. 19 00:01:27,208 --> 00:01:30,708 Being there made me feel cool for the first time in my life. 20 00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:31,833 Steph, you do one. 21 00:01:31,916 --> 00:01:34,083 I felt like the kids I wanted to be. 22 00:01:34,166 --> 00:01:38,125 You know, the ones who seem immune to that awkward teen phase… 23 00:01:40,208 --> 00:01:43,333 …the ones whose bones have Jenga'd themselves into a hot frame. 24 00:01:43,416 --> 00:01:46,541 The only bumps on their skin are abs, 25 00:01:46,625 --> 00:01:51,791 and their natural scent is perfect, like CK One perfect. 26 00:01:51,875 --> 00:01:53,375 -The populars. -Been looking for you. 27 00:01:54,875 --> 00:01:57,125 'Sup, Blaine. Hey, Tiffany. 28 00:01:58,458 --> 00:02:01,208 I'm having a birthday party, if you guys wanna join. 29 00:02:02,291 --> 00:02:03,291 Ooh, ooh. 30 00:02:03,375 --> 00:02:05,541 Cute that in Australia you call it a party, 31 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:09,208 'cause in America, we call that a freak show. 32 00:02:09,291 --> 00:02:13,208 Well, um, it's actually not a freak show 'cause we have cake, so… 33 00:02:13,750 --> 00:02:14,750 Let's go. 34 00:02:15,625 --> 00:02:18,500 God, I just wanted to be like them so bad. 35 00:02:18,583 --> 00:02:21,375 If they were this amazing in high school, 36 00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:24,166 imagine how perfect the rest of their lives would be. 37 00:02:28,708 --> 00:02:31,125 Come on, Steph, I wanna take more photos. 38 00:02:31,208 --> 00:02:33,125 -Come on, Bobby! 39 00:02:33,208 --> 00:02:34,583 You are too much. 40 00:02:34,666 --> 00:02:38,791 Guys! Could we just, like, try to be cool for once? 41 00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:44,041 I hated thinking that life wasn't for me… 42 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,333 that I was destined to be 43 00:02:48,416 --> 00:02:53,666 just some average, boring, invisible girl who had no friends. 44 00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:57,000 In Australia, we call that a Nigel, but whatever. 45 00:02:57,083 --> 00:02:58,625 You guys know what I mean. 46 00:03:00,666 --> 00:03:02,416 I wanted to be something more. 47 00:03:04,208 --> 00:03:05,875 And that's when I decided… 48 00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:10,625 …that's it. I'm gonna become popular. 49 00:03:11,416 --> 00:03:13,708 I know your favorite is "I Want It That Way," 50 00:03:13,791 --> 00:03:15,041 but it's my favorite too. 51 00:03:15,541 --> 00:03:16,791 Oh my God! 52 00:03:16,875 --> 00:03:21,208 Okay, I Darrin Dance Groove'd my ass off and became captain of the cheer squad. 53 00:03:21,291 --> 00:03:24,500 I got so many new friends, I didn't even know some of their names. 54 00:03:24,583 --> 00:03:27,375 But like, of course, I would always smile at them. 55 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:32,125 And, oh my God, before I knew it, I had the hottest boyfriend in school. 56 00:03:32,208 --> 00:03:36,500 Like he was so, so hot. Just like, mega hot. 57 00:03:40,625 --> 00:03:42,333 Steph! Seth is here! 58 00:03:42,416 --> 00:03:44,458 Uh, yep, yep. Coming, coming. 59 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,500 Mmm. 60 00:03:53,583 --> 00:03:56,291 Yeah, this… this is really good, Mr. Conway. 61 00:03:56,833 --> 00:03:58,125 It's cereal, Seth. 62 00:03:58,208 --> 00:04:00,666 Stephie, let's move it! 63 00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:04,750 So, are you going to ask my daughter to the prom or not? 64 00:04:05,625 --> 00:04:06,625 Me? 65 00:04:06,708 --> 00:04:09,416 What? No, I don't know what you're talking about. 66 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:13,208 You drive here every morning just so Stephie can drive you to school. 67 00:04:13,291 --> 00:04:15,333 -You think I'm an idiot? -No, sir. 68 00:04:15,833 --> 00:04:19,750 It's really hard to find the right time. And what about Blaine? 69 00:04:19,833 --> 00:04:20,958 Hey! 70 00:04:21,041 --> 00:04:23,708 Oh my God, Seth, did you Fatone your hair? 71 00:04:23,791 --> 00:04:25,583 It looks so good! 72 00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:27,791 Dad, you didn't have to cook breakfast. 73 00:04:27,875 --> 00:04:29,125 You're about to graduate. 74 00:04:29,208 --> 00:04:31,791 We're not gonna have too many more of these breakfast opportunities. 75 00:04:31,875 --> 00:04:34,125 -Yeah. -Grateful to be included, sir. 76 00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:36,291 Um, can we actually rain check? 77 00:04:36,375 --> 00:04:39,291 I'm on a diet of only bananas and ice cubes till prom. 78 00:04:39,375 --> 00:04:41,750 Oh! Speaking of… 79 00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:45,958 I've been, uh, waiting to give you this. 80 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:54,708 "I know you'll look beautiful in this. Love, Mum." 81 00:04:56,958 --> 00:04:58,375 Oh my God.  82 00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:09,791 It's gorgeous. 83 00:05:15,458 --> 00:05:17,375 You know, Dad, um, 84 00:05:17,458 --> 00:05:20,083 I saw at the mall in that empty store next to Wet Seal 85 00:05:20,166 --> 00:05:23,458 that they were holding, like, groups for widows and widowers. 86 00:05:23,541 --> 00:05:24,916 Looked pretty jumping. 87 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:28,250 You're a catch, Mr. Conway. A sad woman would totally go out with you. 88 00:05:28,875 --> 00:05:32,583 I'll tell you what, I'll ask somebody out when you do, Seth. 89 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:33,875 Yeah. 90 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:35,791 Did you hear Tiffany went behind my back 91 00:05:35,875 --> 00:05:37,166 and got the Activities Committee 92 00:05:37,250 --> 00:05:40,875 to make the prom king and queen song "Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling? 93 00:05:40,958 --> 00:05:44,833 Uh, no. You know, that piece of gossip hasn't really trickled down to me yet. 94 00:05:44,916 --> 00:05:47,666 Well, when it gets to you, believe it. 95 00:05:48,166 --> 00:05:49,708 She's doing it to mess with me. 96 00:05:49,791 --> 00:05:52,916 She knows I want a classic, like "Power of Love." 97 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:56,666 I'm not going to go to my prom, get my crown, get glitter-rained on 98 00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:59,375 and then dance to "Wherever You Will F-ing--" 99 00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:02,083 -Ooh! Ow! 100 00:06:03,458 --> 00:06:04,500 There she is, 101 00:06:05,375 --> 00:06:06,708 Deanna Russo, 102 00:06:06,791 --> 00:06:10,208 Harding High cheer captain and prom queen '95. 103 00:06:10,291 --> 00:06:11,833 Bangin' bod. 104 00:06:11,916 --> 00:06:15,041 She's boy-band rich and lives in the most beautiful house in Maryland 105 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,333 with her… Three, two, one… 106 00:06:19,125 --> 00:06:20,750 …perfect husband, 107 00:06:20,833 --> 00:06:24,541 Harding High quarterback with a famously girthy dong. 108 00:06:24,625 --> 00:06:25,583 So I've heard. 109 00:06:26,875 --> 00:06:28,791 They're just like me and Blaine. 110 00:06:29,458 --> 00:06:32,708 I want it so bad I can practically taste them frenching. 111 00:06:33,666 --> 00:06:35,000 It's my dream life. 112 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:37,916 And it all starts with prom queen. 113 00:06:38,625 --> 00:06:41,500 Well, I think you're better than just another Deanna Russo. 114 00:06:42,125 --> 00:06:43,250 Oh my God, Seth… 115 00:06:43,958 --> 00:06:47,166 Oh my God. Your forehead's bleeding. 116 00:06:48,166 --> 00:06:49,000 Oh. 117 00:06:54,916 --> 00:06:55,791 Sure you're okay? 118 00:06:55,875 --> 00:06:57,000 Oh, yeah, I'm good. 119 00:06:58,416 --> 00:07:00,541 Hey, so you know prom is coming up, 120 00:07:00,625 --> 00:07:03,125 and I really wanted to ask you something. 121 00:07:03,208 --> 00:07:04,708 I know it's a long shot, but-- 122 00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:08,083 Seth, you don't even have to finish the question. 123 00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:11,750 -The answer's yes. -Wait, really? What about Blaine? 124 00:07:11,833 --> 00:07:15,458 Ah, he'll understand. It wouldn't feel right to spend prom without you. 125 00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:16,916 Seth, 126 00:07:17,791 --> 00:07:21,583 I would love for you to come to my after-prom party. 127 00:07:22,791 --> 00:07:25,416 Oh, wow. Yeah, cool. 128 00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:28,250 -Thanks, Steph. -Oh my God. Duh, no prob. 129 00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,333 Oh, also, there's gonna be a VIP room, 130 00:07:30,416 --> 00:07:32,916 and you're totally gonna be on the list. I mean it. 131 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:33,833 Fun. 132 00:07:33,916 --> 00:07:37,625 Okay, um, I'm gonna let you out here because I got to make my entrance. 133 00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:40,666 Oh, also, I need that sock back. It's Blaine's. 134 00:07:41,291 --> 00:07:42,875 We use it for handies. 135 00:07:47,625 --> 00:07:50,125 Oh, okay, yeah. That's… that's gross. 136 00:07:53,291 --> 00:07:54,541 -Bye! -Bye! 137 00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,250 -Oh my God! 138 00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:24,500 I was wondering where the future prom queen was. 139 00:08:24,583 --> 00:08:27,125 Just thinking about my life with the future prom king. 140 00:08:28,166 --> 00:08:30,458 I'm gonna miss you so much these next two periods. 141 00:08:30,541 --> 00:08:31,375 Yeah? 142 00:08:31,875 --> 00:08:35,000 Let me give you a little something to remember me by. Boop, boop! 143 00:08:35,083 --> 00:08:37,916 Oh my God, Blaine, stop. That's so embarrassing. 144 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,666 Oh my God, he's so into me. What? 145 00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:43,666 Oh my God. Did anyone see that? Bye. 146 00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:45,666 Ew. He shouldn't do that to you. 147 00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:48,875 It's called love, Marth. That's what couples do. 148 00:08:48,958 --> 00:08:51,291 When you get a boyfriend, you'll understand. 149 00:08:51,375 --> 00:08:52,708 Yeah, I'll pass. 150 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,125 -Here. 151 00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:56,750 Don't lose these. I'm serious. 152 00:08:56,833 --> 00:08:59,666 If my parents find out I gave you the keys to our lake house for a party, 153 00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:02,375 they'll ship me off to a convent before I even make it to Wesleyan. 154 00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:05,083 -My grandfather built that with his hands. 155 00:09:05,166 --> 00:09:06,000 If anything happens-- 156 00:09:06,083 --> 00:09:09,458 Oh my God, I promise you have nothing to worry about. You're the best. 157 00:09:09,541 --> 00:09:12,458 Thank you so much, Marth. You know you're invited, right? 158 00:09:12,958 --> 00:09:15,791 Did you just invite me to a party that's at my own house? 159 00:09:15,875 --> 00:09:18,458 Of course not. I'm inviting you to the VIP section. 160 00:09:18,541 --> 00:09:20,916 Seth will be there too. So you'll have someone to talk to. 161 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,500 Right. I could also talk to you. 162 00:09:24,125 --> 00:09:26,708 Right, yeah, duh. 163 00:09:26,791 --> 00:09:30,416 Um, except I'm probably gonna be losing my bottom half virginity to Blaine. 164 00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:31,875 So I'll be, like, in and out. 165 00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:35,541 So will Blaine, literally. You know what I mean? 166 00:09:35,625 --> 00:09:38,666 Also, Martha, it's pep rally day. Why aren't you in your cheer uniform? 167 00:09:40,375 --> 00:09:42,208 Oh my God. 168 00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:44,833 You look so hot right now. 169 00:09:44,916 --> 00:09:46,958 -You look so great. -Okay. Yeah. 170 00:09:47,041 --> 00:09:49,166 -Okay. I'll see you later. Bye! -Bye. 171 00:09:53,166 --> 00:09:57,166 So, I've been telling everyone about the VIP section at our party, 172 00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:59,291 but here's a little secret. 173 00:09:59,791 --> 00:10:04,208 There's gonna be a VIP VIP section just for us. 174 00:10:05,583 --> 00:10:07,125 For boning. 175 00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:11,416 Mmm, so, uh, about that, 176 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:15,583 um, most of the football team's already said yes to going to a different party. 177 00:10:15,666 --> 00:10:17,791 But this one has a heated pool and a live band. 178 00:10:17,875 --> 00:10:19,958 What? Whose party? 179 00:10:20,541 --> 00:10:22,833 Tiff's. But we could bone there, if you want. 180 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,833 What the slut? 181 00:10:27,916 --> 00:10:30,000 Get back to your seat, Miss Conway. 182 00:10:30,083 --> 00:10:34,583 I would like to start my class before the next millennium hits. 183 00:10:35,958 --> 00:10:38,375 -Can I go to the bathroom? -Fine. 184 00:10:38,458 --> 00:10:39,791 Dex, wait. 185 00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:47,458 Get this to Tiffany, 186 00:10:48,708 --> 00:10:49,541 now. 187 00:10:50,666 --> 00:10:52,666 Would you turn your books to the… 188 00:11:01,625 --> 00:11:03,083 Got your note. 189 00:11:05,458 --> 00:11:09,958 For the last time, Tiffany, I won cheer captain fair and square, 190 00:11:10,041 --> 00:11:13,875 and you and Blaine were broken up when we got together. I don't cheat. 191 00:11:13,958 --> 00:11:19,083 So why do you continue to be the butt-roids on my… butt? 192 00:11:19,166 --> 00:11:21,041 I don't know what you're talking about. 193 00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:23,625 First, you changed the prom king and queen song. 194 00:11:23,708 --> 00:11:25,291 Now you're throwing an after-prom party 195 00:11:25,375 --> 00:11:27,666 when you know I've been planning mine for months. 196 00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:30,166 You mean the one you have to throw at Barfa's family lake house 197 00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:31,416 'cause you live in a shanty. 198 00:11:32,875 --> 00:11:34,083 Her name is Martha, 199 00:11:34,166 --> 00:11:37,375 and she hasn't thrown up on herself since the eighth grade, so… 200 00:11:38,625 --> 00:11:40,291 -Cancel your party! -Sorry. 201 00:11:40,375 --> 00:11:43,000 My daddy has already paid for the caterers. 202 00:11:43,083 --> 00:11:47,791 Open bar, Jäger, Mike's Hard Lemonade, Smirnoff Ice. 203 00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:50,208 All the good shit. 204 00:11:50,875 --> 00:11:53,833 So, you cancel yours. 205 00:11:53,916 --> 00:11:56,541 You won't wanna throw a party after I beat you for prom queen. 206 00:11:57,958 --> 00:11:59,916 What makes you think you're gonna win? 207 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,375 'Cause I'm MTV, and you're VH1. 208 00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:04,791 I'm the real deal, and you're a poser. 209 00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:08,625 You think you can shimmy your koala ass to the top of the food chain I created 210 00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:10,500 and screw up my senior year? 211 00:12:10,583 --> 00:12:13,125 You're just a poor spaz playing dress up. 212 00:12:15,041 --> 00:12:16,750 Don't go chasing waterfalls. 213 00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:22,041 Take that back. 214 00:12:28,333 --> 00:12:31,333 -Freshmen suck! 215 00:12:31,416 --> 00:12:33,875 -Freshmen suck! -Freshmen suck! 216 00:12:33,958 --> 00:12:35,666 -Freshman suck! -Settle down. 217 00:12:36,458 --> 00:12:38,750 Blaine, settle down. Settle down. 218 00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:40,125 Listen. 219 00:12:40,666 --> 00:12:44,875 We have less than a month of school left. Let's all just get through it. 220 00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:47,333 -Now I know you all… -All right, sluts. 221 00:12:47,416 --> 00:12:49,291 Everybody, listen up. 222 00:12:49,375 --> 00:12:51,166 Listen to Martha. 223 00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:53,500 Just a couple notes before we get out there. 224 00:12:53,583 --> 00:12:54,958 We replaced the spotlight operators 225 00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:56,833 with kids tall enough to see what's going on. 226 00:12:56,916 --> 00:12:59,791 Try not to hit the ground too hard so our CD doesn't skip. 227 00:12:59,875 --> 00:13:00,833 "Our CD"? 228 00:13:00,916 --> 00:13:05,916 I'm sorry, since when does a clipboard and a windbreaker make you a Bulldogette? 229 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:09,083 Since I appointed her equipment manager, Tiffany. 230 00:13:09,166 --> 00:13:11,291 Do you have any idea how much she does for us? 231 00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:14,000 Without her, we'd fall apart. Whereas without you, Tiff, 232 00:13:14,083 --> 00:13:16,958 we'd, I don't know, have less stains on our uniform 233 00:13:17,041 --> 00:13:20,041 -from catching your spray-tanned ass. 234 00:13:20,125 --> 00:13:21,125 Continue, Marth. 235 00:13:21,208 --> 00:13:22,708 Oh, I was done. 236 00:13:23,291 --> 00:13:24,208 Oh. 237 00:13:24,291 --> 00:13:27,625 All right, biatches. When I started choreographing this routine, 238 00:13:27,708 --> 00:13:30,875 I knew it had to be more than just a regular cheer, 239 00:13:30,958 --> 00:13:34,458 which is why I made this, 240 00:13:34,541 --> 00:13:36,750 a step-by-step guide to our routine 241 00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:41,541 so that future squads will be able to replicate our VMA-level performance. 242 00:13:42,541 --> 00:13:46,041 Martha, please see that this gets into the school archives 243 00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:48,083 so that our legends will live on. 244 00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:51,458 -Do we have a school archive? -We do now. 245 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,666 All right, places, skanks! 246 00:13:55,041 --> 00:13:56,166 Twins? 247 00:13:56,958 --> 00:13:57,875 Can we talk? 248 00:13:57,958 --> 00:14:00,250 And speaking of "not school appropriate," 249 00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:04,833 please welcome our award-winning Harding Bulldogettes. 250 00:14:12,916 --> 00:14:15,541 -That's my girl! 251 00:14:48,208 --> 00:14:50,041 -Yeah! 252 00:14:55,708 --> 00:14:57,041 -Ready? -Okay! 253 00:15:49,958 --> 00:15:51,791 Who wants to forget the good old days? 254 00:15:51,875 --> 00:15:53,166 No one. 255 00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:54,583 That's why, at Balbo Hummers, 256 00:15:54,666 --> 00:15:57,666 we've got the sweetest rides for the sweetest prices. 257 00:15:57,750 --> 00:16:00,458 Oh! And hey, all you high school seniors out there, 258 00:16:00,541 --> 00:16:03,125 who doesn't want a Hummer on their big night. Am I right? 259 00:16:03,208 --> 00:16:08,291 That's right. Balbo Hummers is renting out stretch limos for all of your prom needs. 260 00:16:10,541 --> 00:16:14,333 Balbo Hummers. We're ready for prom. Are you? 261 00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,250 I'm ready for prom. 262 00:16:29,375 --> 00:16:30,458 What the slut? 263 00:16:38,208 --> 00:16:39,958 Oh, hi. 264 00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,375 Hi. Hello. Hi. 265 00:16:42,458 --> 00:16:44,666 Excuse me. Um, I'm not sure what happened, 266 00:16:44,750 --> 00:16:48,166 but I think there's been a mistake, and I've been put in the wrong room 267 00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:52,166 'cause there's a bunch of birthday cards for, like, a really old person. 268 00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:54,708 And the TV's flat, like the back of it is missing, 269 00:16:54,791 --> 00:16:57,166 and I really need to see who's number one on TRL. 270 00:16:57,250 --> 00:17:00,250 Dr. Johnson to the third floor. The cheerleader just woke up. 271 00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:03,583 Oh, I don't mean to be a bitch, but "cheer captain." 272 00:17:04,083 --> 00:17:05,166 Cheer captain. 273 00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:09,333 And do you have any Von Dutch jeans? 'Cause this is, like, really unflattering. 274 00:17:09,416 --> 00:17:10,416 Oh crap. 275 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,125 What are you staring at? 276 00:17:13,791 --> 00:17:16,958 Hello? It's very rude to be a stare bear. 277 00:17:18,291 --> 00:17:21,333 Hello? Are you-- Stop… stop doing that! 278 00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,250 Why are you doing that, you freaky old-- 279 00:17:33,791 --> 00:17:35,416 And the cheerleader's back down. 280 00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:38,125 Oh, cheer captain. Are you okay? 281 00:17:39,666 --> 00:17:41,750 This defies scientific explanation. 282 00:17:41,833 --> 00:17:42,916 Being this hot? 283 00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:44,666 No. 284 00:17:44,750 --> 00:17:46,916 Stephanie, it's 2022. 285 00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:50,375 No way. 286 00:17:50,458 --> 00:17:51,500 Mm-hmm. 287 00:17:51,583 --> 00:17:54,750 Are you sure I haven't been Freaky Friday'd into some old lady's body? 288 00:17:54,833 --> 00:17:57,541 You've been in a coma for almost two decades. 289 00:17:58,916 --> 00:18:00,583 That doesn't sound right. 290 00:18:00,666 --> 00:18:03,916 I know this is a lot to process, but we'll just take this nice and slow. 291 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,125 -Stephie? -Stephanie! 292 00:18:05,208 --> 00:18:06,291 -Oh my God. -Stephanie! 293 00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:09,875 Stephie, I can't believe this! It's me. It's Dad! 294 00:18:10,916 --> 00:18:14,208 Oh my God! 295 00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:15,666 -Dad? -Yeah! 296 00:18:15,750 --> 00:18:19,333 How about me? Do you remember? It's Martha, Martha Riser. 297 00:18:19,416 --> 00:18:21,166 I never thought I'd have this moment again. 298 00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:23,250 I was this close to freezing you. 299 00:18:23,333 --> 00:18:24,208 What do you mean, Dad? 300 00:18:24,291 --> 00:18:27,333 Don't worry. I couldn't afford it. I was only gonna freeze your head. 301 00:18:27,416 --> 00:18:29,541 -No! -We'll have to be gentle. 302 00:18:29,625 --> 00:18:32,000 Physically she's aged, but mentally she's still 17. 303 00:18:32,083 --> 00:18:34,625 Of course. Yes, I see how we came in a little hot. 304 00:18:34,708 --> 00:18:35,541 Yeah. 305 00:18:35,625 --> 00:18:38,500 Martha, you look like an Ally McBeal character. 306 00:18:38,583 --> 00:18:40,250 Oh my God. Thank you. 307 00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:44,000 Well, the good news is nothing abnormal came up in her tests. 308 00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:47,708 Stephanie, your physical and mental resilience are remarkable. 309 00:18:47,791 --> 00:18:48,958 Uh, let… let's go home. 310 00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:59,166 Marth, oh my God, what is that, a tiny TV? 311 00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:02,250 No. No, Steph, this is my cell phone. 312 00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:04,875 Oh my God. Whoa! Really? 313 00:19:04,958 --> 00:19:07,125 -That is very cool. 314 00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:10,625 I always knew you'd be some high-powered, Sex and the City businesswoman. 315 00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:12,625 -Total Miranda, right, Dad? -Oh… 316 00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:17,250 I'm actually a high school principal at Harding. 317 00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:21,416 Oh my God, you still got a good sense of humor. 318 00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:32,291 That's… I mean, that's actually a very cool and important job. 319 00:19:32,375 --> 00:19:35,000 -So, whoo! -Mm-hmm. 320 00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:38,041 Um, and they give you a fancy cell phone for that? 321 00:19:38,125 --> 00:19:40,000 Oh, they're common now. Even I have one. 322 00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:40,916 Oh. Okay. 323 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,208 They do much more than just call people. You could also watch the news. 324 00:19:44,291 --> 00:19:46,875 Look, here's a news story about you right now. 325 00:19:46,958 --> 00:19:50,791 -What? No. Oh, about me? No, oh my God. -Yeah, it's you! 326 00:19:50,875 --> 00:19:52,000 Okay, wait, show me. 327 00:19:52,083 --> 00:19:56,416 Video edits of her infamous accident went immediately viral on Instagram… 328 00:19:56,500 --> 00:20:00,041 Oh my God. I went down like a bag of dicks. 329 00:20:00,791 --> 00:20:01,875 Oh. 330 00:20:01,958 --> 00:20:03,458 -Stephie! -Wait. What does "viral" mean? 331 00:20:03,541 --> 00:20:06,875 Well, "viral" just means everybody saw it. 332 00:20:06,958 --> 00:20:09,583 Everybody's seen that? I look retarded in those videos. 333 00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:12,666 Now, Steph, you… you cannot say the R-word anymore. 334 00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:14,375 -What? Really? Why? -Mm-mm. 335 00:20:14,458 --> 00:20:17,291 Because it's offensive to people with intellectual disabilities. 336 00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:20,958 But what if something really is, like, "R-word," 337 00:20:21,750 --> 00:20:24,666 um, what do you call it? Like, "super gay"? 338 00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:28,458 No, no. You can't call things "gay" anymore, either, 339 00:20:28,541 --> 00:20:31,958 unless you use it as a neutral-positive term 340 00:20:32,041 --> 00:20:34,625 to refer to somebody who identifies as homosexual. 341 00:20:34,708 --> 00:20:37,500 -So you cannot say the "R-word." -Right. 342 00:20:37,583 --> 00:20:38,541 And, um… 343 00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:39,958 Sorry. Coma brain. 344 00:20:40,041 --> 00:20:42,083 -What was the other word you can't say? -"Gay." 345 00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:43,291 Ha! Made you say it. 346 00:20:45,625 --> 00:20:47,041 -Stephie. -I-- That's… 347 00:20:47,125 --> 00:20:48,791 -Still got it, Dad. -You do. 348 00:20:48,875 --> 00:20:51,416 Dad, um, can you take a left up here? 349 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,625 -Oh. -To see-- 350 00:20:52,708 --> 00:20:56,291 No, no, no. No, um, actually, you should get home and rest. 351 00:20:56,375 --> 00:20:58,833 Rest? I've been asleep for 20 years. 352 00:20:58,916 --> 00:21:01,458 -Dad, just take this left here. -Jim, don't take the left. 353 00:21:01,541 --> 00:21:03,083 Is there-- I don't understand… 354 00:21:03,166 --> 00:21:05,291 -Indicator. Indicate left. -Do not. Do not. 355 00:21:06,291 --> 00:21:09,750 -Thank God, it's still the same. -Yep. There it is. Let's keep going. 356 00:21:10,291 --> 00:21:11,916 That's not Deanna Russo's husband. 357 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,375 -Who is that? -Um… 358 00:21:13,458 --> 00:21:16,541 Oh my God. I know that ass anywhere. That's Blaine. 359 00:21:16,625 --> 00:21:20,916 Wait. Did he get me my dream house? Stop the car! Why didn't you say anything? 360 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,916 -Don't stop the car. -What are you talking about? Stop the car! 361 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,916 Don't stop the car. No. He's probably sleeping. 362 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,125 -He walked into the house. -You don't wanna wake him. 363 00:21:28,208 --> 00:21:29,291 He looked tired! 364 00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:32,041 -I don't know what to do. Ah! -Just stop the car! 365 00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:33,333 -No! 366 00:21:51,750 --> 00:21:53,083 Oh. You know what? 367 00:21:53,166 --> 00:21:55,666 Someone from the shelter already came by yesterday 368 00:21:55,750 --> 00:21:59,208 to pick up our donations, so… Thank you though. 369 00:21:59,291 --> 00:22:00,291 Tiffany? 370 00:22:01,458 --> 00:22:04,041 Shut up! 371 00:22:04,708 --> 00:22:06,083 Stephanie? 372 00:22:06,166 --> 00:22:09,916 -Oh my God, look at you! 373 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,666 -I can't believe this. -What is happening? 374 00:22:12,750 --> 00:22:15,208 I have so many things I… I want to say. 375 00:22:15,291 --> 00:22:17,916 I've always felt terrible about what happened. 376 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,500 I can't believe you didn't land that stunt. 377 00:22:20,583 --> 00:22:24,333 Wait, why are you living here with Blaine? I don't get it. 378 00:22:24,416 --> 00:22:26,375 This is mine and Blaine's dream house, so… 379 00:22:26,458 --> 00:22:29,041 -Well, actually-- -Why are you here? 380 00:22:29,125 --> 00:22:30,625 It's a long story. 381 00:22:30,708 --> 00:22:33,625 Our parents got it for us as a wedding gift and… 382 00:22:33,708 --> 00:22:36,250 Well, that's it. The end. 383 00:22:36,333 --> 00:22:37,791 No, you shut your face. 384 00:22:37,875 --> 00:22:41,000 Um, where's Blaine? Just get me Blaine, and, um-- 385 00:22:41,083 --> 00:22:44,041 I'm so sorry. He is just so swamped right now with work. 386 00:22:44,125 --> 00:22:45,000 Oh. 387 00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:46,916 I see what you did here. 388 00:22:47,625 --> 00:22:50,041 Get rid of me so you can steal my dream life. 389 00:22:50,125 --> 00:22:52,000 Oh… 390 00:22:52,708 --> 00:22:53,791 Steph. 391 00:22:53,875 --> 00:22:55,333 -No, no. 392 00:22:55,416 --> 00:22:58,041 Look, I know we never saw eye-to-eye back then, 393 00:22:58,125 --> 00:23:01,083 but you know, the beautiful thing about time is you move on. 394 00:23:02,166 --> 00:23:07,291 Okay, you know what? I need to go because I am brining zucchini ribbons, 395 00:23:07,375 --> 00:23:10,041 but I never let a guest leave without a gift. 396 00:23:10,125 --> 00:23:13,041 Um, so I'm just gonna give you… 397 00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:14,250 -What? -Here. 398 00:23:14,333 --> 00:23:17,208 Homemade from my own starter. A peace offering. 399 00:23:17,291 --> 00:23:21,166 I really look forward to putting the past behind us. 400 00:23:21,750 --> 00:23:25,208 You know, move past the past. 401 00:23:26,041 --> 00:23:29,625 So, maybe when you're feeling better and a little bit more stable, 402 00:23:29,708 --> 00:23:31,125 we could do brunch sometime. 403 00:23:31,208 --> 00:23:33,041 -Blaine! -It's great to see you! 404 00:23:33,125 --> 00:23:34,125 Blaine! 405 00:23:36,208 --> 00:23:39,375 -Come on, come on, come on, come on. 406 00:23:41,458 --> 00:23:42,833 Who's that at the door? 407 00:23:42,916 --> 00:23:46,333 It was… Stephanie Conway. 408 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,041 She's awake? 409 00:23:57,083 --> 00:23:58,125 Ah, yes. 410 00:24:00,833 --> 00:24:02,541 Perfectly preserved. 411 00:24:04,458 --> 00:24:06,916 -And here we are. 412 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,458 Oh! Did she not wear her seat belt? 413 00:24:09,541 --> 00:24:10,791 I don't think she did. 414 00:24:10,875 --> 00:24:12,375 -Oh God. 415 00:24:12,458 --> 00:24:14,791 -It's locked, hon. -Dad! 416 00:24:14,875 --> 00:24:16,541 Here we are. Yeah. 417 00:24:16,625 --> 00:24:17,458 Hey, S… 418 00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:20,625 She's… 419 00:24:28,458 --> 00:24:30,166 Oh my God. 420 00:24:31,041 --> 00:24:33,000 Didn't have the heart to change it. 421 00:24:33,083 --> 00:24:37,458 Kept your Cabriolet too. You know me, never very good at letting things go. 422 00:24:45,458 --> 00:24:48,958 I… I also never, uh, canceled any of your magazine subscriptions. 423 00:24:49,041 --> 00:24:52,083 Wait, Madonna's now called Lady Gaga? 424 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:54,833 -No. -No. 425 00:24:54,916 --> 00:24:58,208 -But she looks exactly like Madonna. -You've had a lot to digest today. 426 00:24:58,291 --> 00:24:59,833 We'll get you caught up this weekend. 427 00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:02,833 Dad! 428 00:25:06,458 --> 00:25:08,875 Dad. What the F? 429 00:25:09,458 --> 00:25:12,708 Who was in charge of my feeding tube? My boobs are huge. 430 00:25:13,541 --> 00:25:16,000 Well, you… you're just getting older. 431 00:25:16,083 --> 00:25:17,916 You know, bodies change, 432 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:21,166 and pretty soon, you'll go through menopause. 433 00:25:21,250 --> 00:25:22,875 Oh my God. Don't. 434 00:25:24,375 --> 00:25:25,750 I can't do this. 435 00:25:27,750 --> 00:25:30,250 I was so close to having my dream life. 436 00:25:30,333 --> 00:25:32,125 You still can, sweetie. 437 00:25:32,208 --> 00:25:34,291 I can't. Look at this. 438 00:25:34,375 --> 00:25:36,166 -Well-- 439 00:25:36,250 --> 00:25:39,083 -If anyone can do it, it's you. 440 00:25:39,166 --> 00:25:41,791 Oh, Dad, shut up. I'll get it. 441 00:25:41,875 --> 00:25:42,958 Dad… 442 00:25:43,041 --> 00:25:44,875 Oh God. Okay. 443 00:26:58,291 --> 00:27:00,416 Steph, babe, what are you doing? 444 00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:02,916 I'm trying to not be ugly. 445 00:27:04,666 --> 00:27:06,958 I'm just tired of being made fun of. 446 00:27:11,166 --> 00:27:13,375 You are not ugly. 447 00:27:14,791 --> 00:27:16,166 Yes, I am. 448 00:27:17,208 --> 00:27:19,708 I just want to be like the populars. 449 00:27:19,791 --> 00:27:22,625 Oh. What do they have that you don't? 450 00:27:22,708 --> 00:27:26,083 Cool hair. Hot clothes. Even hotter boyfriends. 451 00:27:28,708 --> 00:27:30,541 They pronounce their… …R's. 452 00:27:30,625 --> 00:27:32,125 Mmm. 453 00:27:32,208 --> 00:27:33,333 Well… 454 00:27:34,291 --> 00:27:40,750 I think that you are beautiful and smart and funny… 455 00:27:42,625 --> 00:27:44,791 …and I think the accent makes you unique. 456 00:27:46,958 --> 00:27:49,416 Well, it doesn't really count if you say it, Mum. 457 00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:51,541 Oh. It doesn't, does it? 458 00:27:51,625 --> 00:27:54,916 Well, uh, too bad 'cause it's a fact. 459 00:27:56,208 --> 00:27:58,625 Mums have senses about things like this. 460 00:27:59,875 --> 00:28:02,625 -And I know that you… -Uh, Mum. 461 00:28:02,708 --> 00:28:06,416 …are gonna graduate and grow up 462 00:28:07,375 --> 00:28:09,375 and have the most perfect life. 463 00:28:10,250 --> 00:28:11,291 I just know it. 464 00:28:13,333 --> 00:28:14,291 You mean it? 465 00:28:16,375 --> 00:28:18,708 Do you think I could even be prom queen? 466 00:28:20,125 --> 00:28:22,500 -You sure that's what you want? -Duh. 467 00:28:24,750 --> 00:28:28,791 Well, if anyone can make it happen, it's you. 468 00:29:43,916 --> 00:29:45,500 -Martha! -Oh my God. 469 00:29:45,583 --> 00:29:47,541 -There you are! -Steph! Wha… 470 00:29:48,125 --> 00:29:49,875 -Yeah. -What are you doing here? 471 00:29:49,958 --> 00:29:53,083 This is exactly the type of car a principal would drive. 472 00:29:53,166 --> 00:29:55,541 It's like… like you nailed it. 473 00:29:55,625 --> 00:29:58,625 -Um, I just need your help with something. -Uh… 474 00:29:59,625 --> 00:30:00,916 I want to go back to school. 475 00:30:01,708 --> 00:30:02,916 Oh, Steph. 476 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,416 That's wonderful. Yes, of course. 477 00:30:05,500 --> 00:30:08,416 I can get you some info on those programs. There's a lot of great ones. 478 00:30:08,500 --> 00:30:13,041 Uh, no, Marth, I meant, like, me come back to school, to Harding High, 479 00:30:13,125 --> 00:30:14,500 and finish my senior year. 480 00:30:15,958 --> 00:30:16,875 What? 481 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:18,875 God. 482 00:30:19,541 --> 00:30:20,458 No… 483 00:30:21,083 --> 00:30:21,916 No? 484 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,375 Or not no, but maybe not? 485 00:30:24,458 --> 00:30:26,000 Steph, hey, you know what? 486 00:30:26,583 --> 00:30:27,875 Instead… 487 00:30:27,958 --> 00:30:30,291 Wow. There's online classes. 488 00:30:30,375 --> 00:30:32,083 Or… or… or… or… 489 00:30:32,166 --> 00:30:35,583 Um… Oh, GED courses at the community college. 490 00:30:35,666 --> 00:30:38,333 I cannot move on to the next chapter of my life 491 00:30:38,416 --> 00:30:41,375 if I'm still stuck in the old one for 20 years. 492 00:30:41,958 --> 00:30:44,208 And I understand that, but… 493 00:30:44,833 --> 00:30:47,916 Steph… …I can't let an almost 40-year-old woman 494 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,166 into high school. 495 00:30:49,250 --> 00:30:54,458 Yeah, but you heard the doctor. I'm still 17 mentally. 496 00:30:54,541 --> 00:30:55,708 -And look… -That's-- 497 00:30:55,791 --> 00:30:59,625 …that is medical. And you cannot argue with science. 498 00:30:59,708 --> 00:31:02,375 -Are you sure you're ready to go back? -Yes! 499 00:31:02,458 --> 00:31:05,958 High school was like yesterday for me. It will not be weird at all. 500 00:31:06,833 --> 00:31:08,375 What else am I supposed to do? 501 00:31:08,458 --> 00:31:11,916 Start an OnlyFans account? Queef for 20 dollars? 502 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:13,291 -What? -That's… 503 00:31:13,375 --> 00:31:15,083 I think that's what happens there. 504 00:31:15,166 --> 00:31:18,250 Those aren't your only two options. You have lots of options. 505 00:31:18,833 --> 00:31:22,541 Look… …high school, it's an intense but delicate ecosystem. 506 00:31:22,625 --> 00:31:24,583 Yeah, which I can handle. 507 00:31:25,166 --> 00:31:27,833 But you know what? There's only a month of the school year left-- 508 00:31:27,916 --> 00:31:30,541 Oh, that's perfect! That's basically the time that I missed! 509 00:31:31,291 --> 00:31:34,291 -Oh, yeah. -Oh, that is, like, fate. 510 00:31:34,375 --> 00:31:36,541 Like, Destiny's Child. 511 00:31:38,291 --> 00:31:41,958 Well, you might be the first person in history 512 00:31:42,041 --> 00:31:44,208 to use a doctor's note to get into school. 513 00:31:44,291 --> 00:31:46,708 -My God! Yes! 514 00:31:47,291 --> 00:31:50,291 Martha! Oh my God. You're the best. You're the best. 515 00:31:50,375 --> 00:31:52,083 I'm so worried. 516 00:32:25,708 --> 00:32:26,750 Sorry, babe. 517 00:32:27,333 --> 00:32:28,458 I was in a coma. 518 00:32:55,833 --> 00:32:58,250 Miss Conway! Miss Conway! Miss Conway! 519 00:32:58,333 --> 00:33:01,166 Hi! G'day, mate! 520 00:33:01,250 --> 00:33:04,583 I wanted to say hi in your native tongue. 'Cause you're Australian, right? 521 00:33:04,666 --> 00:33:06,416 -Yes. Yeah. -Oh, good, good, good! 522 00:33:06,500 --> 00:33:09,625 Your friend, my boss, Principal Riser, asked me to show you around 523 00:33:09,708 --> 00:33:12,041 and give you a little orientation here at Harding. 524 00:33:12,125 --> 00:33:14,958 Oh, okay. I don't really need to. I know my way around. 525 00:33:15,041 --> 00:33:18,500 Oh, come on, it's fun. I have nothing else to do. 526 00:33:18,583 --> 00:33:22,291 I'm Mr. Tapper, the guidance counselor, but you can call me Mr. T. 527 00:33:22,375 --> 00:33:26,250 Is that because you… …"pity the fool" who has a bad first day? 528 00:33:26,333 --> 00:33:27,666 Oh. 529 00:33:27,750 --> 00:33:31,250 Well, yeah. Yeah, I would feel… I would feel terrible. 530 00:33:31,333 --> 00:33:34,208 No. I meant, like, you know, Mr. T. 531 00:33:34,291 --> 00:33:37,208 "I pity the fool. I pity the fool." 532 00:33:37,291 --> 00:33:41,500 I've never said that before, but I guess I could start if you wanted me to. 533 00:33:41,583 --> 00:33:42,875 I pity the fool! 534 00:33:43,666 --> 00:33:45,958 Mr. T is pitying fools over here. 535 00:33:46,041 --> 00:33:50,000 All right, let's, um… let's… let's go on a little tour here. 536 00:33:50,083 --> 00:33:53,291 I have your records here from 2002. You were a cheerleader. 537 00:33:53,375 --> 00:33:55,625 -Cheer captain. -Ooh, cheer captain. 538 00:33:55,708 --> 00:34:00,125 Uh, president of the Fashion Club. Whoa! Your grades were pretty good. 539 00:34:00,208 --> 00:34:03,916 My God, shut up. Don't. I don't want anybody here to think I'm a dork. 540 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,791 I'm saying graduating shouldn't be a problem. 541 00:34:05,875 --> 00:34:06,958 Wait. What happened? 542 00:34:07,625 --> 00:34:09,875 Where are all the prom king and queen winners? 543 00:34:09,958 --> 00:34:13,875 Oh, um, Principal Riser felt that it sent a bad message, 544 00:34:13,958 --> 00:34:16,333 so she replaced it with something more positive. 545 00:34:17,125 --> 00:34:19,583 -That looks like a bunch of tampons. -Yeah, it is. 546 00:34:19,666 --> 00:34:21,375 But it's also found art. 547 00:34:21,875 --> 00:34:24,250 So you're saying they're found tampons. 548 00:34:25,125 --> 00:34:27,625 Oh, yes, I am. 549 00:34:40,541 --> 00:34:44,083 If not, just pretend it's fake history. 550 00:34:44,166 --> 00:34:45,333 Oh! I am so sorry. 551 00:34:46,750 --> 00:34:47,583 Stephanie? 552 00:34:48,250 --> 00:34:49,875 -Oh my God! -It… it's… it's Seth! 553 00:34:49,958 --> 00:34:51,291 -Seth? -Yeah! 554 00:34:51,375 --> 00:34:53,041 -Oh, Seth! -Oh my goodness! 555 00:34:53,125 --> 00:34:54,875 -Oh! -Wow! 556 00:34:54,958 --> 00:34:56,666 Martha said that you were back, 557 00:34:56,750 --> 00:34:59,500 and I guess, in my head, I just couldn't make it real, 558 00:34:59,583 --> 00:35:01,250 but look at you. You look great! 559 00:35:01,333 --> 00:35:04,250 It's me! Like, look, I'm walking and talking. 560 00:35:04,333 --> 00:35:06,166 -Yeah. Doing all those things. -Everything. 561 00:35:06,250 --> 00:35:07,958 Just like you used to, walk and talk. 562 00:35:08,041 --> 00:35:10,625 Well, look at you! Oh my God! 563 00:35:10,708 --> 00:35:14,583 -You look so cool and suave and adult. -Yeah. 564 00:35:14,666 --> 00:35:17,708 Wow! What happened to that nerd that used to just hang out in the library? 565 00:35:17,791 --> 00:35:20,000 He became the school librarian. 566 00:35:20,791 --> 00:35:21,916 Seriously? 567 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,083 -Mm-hmm. -Ah… 568 00:35:23,166 --> 00:35:25,333 Seth, thank you so much for the yearbook. 569 00:35:25,416 --> 00:35:27,458 Why didn't you just come in and say hi? 570 00:35:27,541 --> 00:35:31,458 You know, I didn't wanna overwhelm you, you know. 571 00:35:31,541 --> 00:35:33,958 Plus, I can't stay out so late on a school night. 572 00:35:34,041 --> 00:35:36,666 -Ah, shit. Shoot. 573 00:35:36,750 --> 00:35:37,583 Dang! 574 00:35:38,083 --> 00:35:42,083 I wish I could hang out and talk more, but I gotta get back to work. 575 00:35:42,166 --> 00:35:44,791 -Oh, yeah, I got to get back to class. -Yeah. 576 00:35:44,875 --> 00:35:46,916 I don't wanna be 20 years and ten minutes late. 577 00:35:47,583 --> 00:35:50,916 So, I will see you around. You know where to find me. 578 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:54,416 Yeah, same. You know where to find me, in the library. 579 00:35:54,500 --> 00:35:57,666 -Some things never change, right? -Bye, Seth. I'll call you. 580 00:35:58,500 --> 00:36:00,833 Or you can do some long division, I guess. 581 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,958 Steph, how's your first day? 582 00:36:06,041 --> 00:36:09,208 Oh my God, it's just been, like, so amazing. 583 00:36:09,291 --> 00:36:12,666 Like, just making new friends. Everyone's already obsessed with me. 584 00:36:12,750 --> 00:36:16,000 That's so great. We strive for a welcoming environment here. 585 00:36:16,083 --> 00:36:19,708 Um, listen, I need to talk to you about rejoining the Bulldogettes. 586 00:36:19,791 --> 00:36:23,000 Um, instead of cheer, I think you should be focusing on your schoolwork. 587 00:36:23,083 --> 00:36:25,125 Yeah. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure! 588 00:36:25,208 --> 00:36:28,541 Um, but who do I talk to about rejoining? 589 00:36:29,875 --> 00:36:32,750 Well, you would talk to me. I'm the cheer coach now. 590 00:36:32,833 --> 00:36:35,000 Okay. Wait, I see your game. 591 00:36:35,083 --> 00:36:36,375 You become principal 592 00:36:36,458 --> 00:36:39,958 so then you can get real power by running the cheer squad. 593 00:36:40,041 --> 00:36:41,750 That's smart. I respect that. 594 00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:45,166 Yeah, that… that's not why I got my master's in education. 595 00:36:45,250 --> 00:36:47,666 Um, look, I don't think the cheer squad 596 00:36:47,750 --> 00:36:49,208 needs a new member right now. 597 00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:52,333 Well, that's wrong 'cause every cheer squad in the country 598 00:36:52,416 --> 00:36:53,666 would love to have me. 599 00:36:53,750 --> 00:36:57,583 There's only two performances left, so I don't think it's worth it. 600 00:36:57,666 --> 00:37:00,500 Marth, I only need one performance to make a splash 601 00:37:00,583 --> 00:37:02,541 if I have any chance of becoming prom queen. 602 00:37:03,875 --> 00:37:06,125 -Steph… -This head still needs a crown. 603 00:37:06,208 --> 00:37:09,916 I'm so sorry. It's not gonna get it. 604 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:10,875 Steph, 605 00:37:11,791 --> 00:37:14,416 we do not have prom queen at this school anymore. 606 00:37:19,708 --> 00:37:21,833 Oh my God, are you having a mini stroke? 607 00:37:26,291 --> 00:37:27,166 What? 608 00:37:27,250 --> 00:37:29,666 Competitions like that, they're dangerous. 609 00:37:29,750 --> 00:37:33,250 Winning things, it just… it doesn't reflect our school values. 610 00:37:33,333 --> 00:37:36,625 With no winners, there aren't any losers. 611 00:37:36,708 --> 00:37:39,500 I've made a school with no losers. 612 00:37:39,583 --> 00:37:43,208 But everybody was just talking to me about how much they want prom queen. 613 00:37:43,291 --> 00:37:47,291 Steph, if all the students want it back, they know they can petition for it. 614 00:37:47,375 --> 00:37:49,041 But so far no one has. 615 00:37:49,125 --> 00:37:51,375 Oh, that was so close. You were so close. 616 00:37:51,458 --> 00:37:54,291 -Let me put it my mouth. -One more. Ready and one… 617 00:37:54,916 --> 00:37:56,500 Yay! 618 00:37:56,583 --> 00:37:59,333 Oh, hey, is this where the ho-bags sit? 619 00:38:02,958 --> 00:38:05,375 That's a fun way of saying "what's up?" 620 00:38:05,458 --> 00:38:07,833 -I'm Janet. -And I'm Yaz, and that's Neil. 621 00:38:07,916 --> 00:38:10,208 I just have to say I'm living for this little vintage fit. 622 00:38:10,291 --> 00:38:12,458 -And I'm not even JK-ing. Okay? 623 00:38:12,541 --> 00:38:16,250 Okay, what is with this enormous lunch table? 624 00:38:16,333 --> 00:38:18,541 How are we supposed to know where the popular kids sit? 625 00:38:18,625 --> 00:38:22,458 Well, when there's just one table, we're all popular kids. 626 00:38:22,541 --> 00:38:24,708 -Everybody. -Oh no, no, no. That's not how life works. 627 00:38:24,791 --> 00:38:26,791 There's only, like, three ways to become popular, 628 00:38:26,875 --> 00:38:29,458 to be a cheerleader, to work at Abercrombie, 629 00:38:29,541 --> 00:38:31,208 or to let guys go in the back door. 630 00:38:31,291 --> 00:38:33,166 -What? -Oh my God, I must be really popular then. 631 00:38:33,250 --> 00:38:35,416 -What? 632 00:38:36,416 --> 00:38:38,750 -Nothing. -Anyways, um, Janet… 633 00:38:38,833 --> 00:38:40,166 Mm-hmm. 634 00:38:40,250 --> 00:38:43,750 …I was wondering if you would like to sign my petition. 635 00:38:43,833 --> 00:38:46,041 It's to bring back prom queen to Harding High. 636 00:38:46,125 --> 00:38:48,541 -Oh my gosh! -No way! 637 00:38:48,625 --> 00:38:50,583 Do I respect IRL grassroot efforts 638 00:38:50,666 --> 00:38:53,083 to effect change into societal systems? Yes. 639 00:38:53,166 --> 00:38:56,750 It's also very refreshing to see non-digital campaign strategy. 640 00:38:56,833 --> 00:38:58,333 -It is. -So I'll sign it. 641 00:38:58,416 --> 00:39:01,791 I'll sign it too, but don't be surprised if we're the only ones. 642 00:39:02,375 --> 00:39:03,541 Why's that? 643 00:39:03,625 --> 00:39:06,208 Because nobody's gonna sign this unless Bri Luvs signs it. 644 00:39:06,291 --> 00:39:08,125 -Who? -Her. 645 00:39:08,750 --> 00:39:11,458 Bri Luvs. That's just her name on social media. 646 00:39:11,541 --> 00:39:14,291 She's got, like, three million Instagram followers. 647 00:39:14,375 --> 00:39:18,791 And that 98 pounds of sexy is Lance, her fine-ass boyfriend. 648 00:39:18,875 --> 00:39:21,791 Last year, Vice did a whole vlog about their open relaish 649 00:39:21,875 --> 00:39:24,666 and called it the gold standard of the future. 650 00:39:24,750 --> 00:39:27,166 Cool, cool, cool. So, um, how do I get her to sign it? 651 00:39:27,250 --> 00:39:30,208 Oh, you won't. She's untouchable. 652 00:39:30,291 --> 00:39:33,250 Okay, everyone's friends with her, but she's friends with no one. 653 00:39:33,333 --> 00:39:34,166 Yeah. 654 00:39:34,250 --> 00:39:36,125 -She's coming over here. -No, she's not. 655 00:39:36,208 --> 00:39:38,375 -Just act normal. Avoid eye contact and-- -Okay. 656 00:39:38,458 --> 00:39:42,083 -Yaz! Been a minute, huh? -It has been so long. 657 00:39:42,166 --> 00:39:46,500 So long! And Janet, loved your post about alternative body positivity the other day. 658 00:39:46,583 --> 00:39:48,375 You are so inspiring. 659 00:39:48,458 --> 00:39:50,791 I was just showing off my new bathing suit. 660 00:39:50,875 --> 00:39:53,875 Hi, I'm Bri, and you must be Stephanie. 661 00:39:53,958 --> 00:39:55,041 I heard about you. 662 00:39:55,125 --> 00:39:56,750 Really? 663 00:39:56,833 --> 00:39:57,791 I mean, um… 664 00:39:58,833 --> 00:40:01,666 Yeah, obviously, because I'm, like, the total shiznit, 665 00:40:01,750 --> 00:40:04,541 and I basically used to be you when I went here. 666 00:40:04,625 --> 00:40:07,541 You know, the most popular girl in school 'cause we're the same. 667 00:40:07,625 --> 00:40:09,875 I don't really think about popularity. 668 00:40:09,958 --> 00:40:12,666 I'm just trying to build my most authentic, socially conscious, 669 00:40:12,750 --> 00:40:16,125 body-positive, environmentally aware, and economically compassionate brand 670 00:40:16,208 --> 00:40:18,500 that's a home for inclusion, focused fashion, food, 671 00:40:18,583 --> 00:40:19,958 and fun-filled lifestyles. 672 00:40:20,041 --> 00:40:22,916 And if tons of people respond to that, then, great. 673 00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:25,750 Totally. Yes. 674 00:40:25,833 --> 00:40:28,291 I mean, obviously. 675 00:40:28,375 --> 00:40:31,333 Um, while I've got you here, would you mind signing this? 676 00:40:31,416 --> 00:40:33,541 I'm gonna stop you right there. 677 00:40:33,625 --> 00:40:37,250 I made a paper-free pledge this year, so I only deal with forms digitally. 678 00:40:37,333 --> 00:40:40,291 I'm sure you understand. But can we take an ussie? 679 00:40:40,875 --> 00:40:42,791 Yes. Absolutely. 680 00:40:42,875 --> 00:40:45,416 -Where to? -Um… 681 00:40:45,500 --> 00:40:48,000 Where are we going? We're going-- Ooh. What? Sorry. 682 00:40:49,916 --> 00:40:51,625 -What was that? -Oh, before I forget. 683 00:40:51,708 --> 00:40:54,375 My mom, Tiffany, told me to tell you she says hi. 684 00:40:54,458 --> 00:40:56,416 She said to remind you she's married to Blaine 685 00:40:56,500 --> 00:40:58,666 and lives in your dream house, in case you couldn't place her. 686 00:40:58,750 --> 00:41:00,666 Your mom, Tiffany. 687 00:41:00,750 --> 00:41:02,833 Nice meeting you, Stephanie. Bye. 688 00:41:03,541 --> 00:41:05,250 -Bye. -Bye. 689 00:41:06,125 --> 00:41:08,416 Baby, you're manspreading again. 690 00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:09,375 Oh. 691 00:41:09,458 --> 00:41:10,750 -Whoops. 692 00:41:12,291 --> 00:41:14,833 Oh my God. He knows you exist. 693 00:41:14,916 --> 00:41:18,333 Yeah, 'cause probably he's, like, already obsessed with me. 694 00:41:18,416 --> 00:41:21,625 -Oh my God. What is that? A fire drill? 695 00:41:21,708 --> 00:41:23,250 -Uh… -What, robot invasion? 696 00:41:23,333 --> 00:41:24,333 Bri is going live. 697 00:41:24,958 --> 00:41:28,750 Hey, guys, we have a new student at Harding High, and she's older than us. 698 00:41:28,833 --> 00:41:31,500 And I want to remind everyone around the world 699 00:41:31,583 --> 00:41:35,000 that treating someone different 'cause they're elderly is called ageism, 700 00:41:35,083 --> 00:41:38,375 no matter how weird or foreign or out of touch they may seem, 701 00:41:38,958 --> 00:41:40,166 and that's not cool. 702 00:41:40,750 --> 00:41:42,708 Also, stay tuned. I have amazing news 703 00:41:42,791 --> 00:41:45,666 about my upcoming summer screen-detox vacay in Nepal. 704 00:41:45,750 --> 00:41:49,500 Remember, Bri loves you. 705 00:41:50,583 --> 00:41:51,541 That was hot. 706 00:41:52,125 --> 00:41:53,125 You're hot. 707 00:41:54,958 --> 00:41:57,791 -I'll sign your petition. -Oh my God! Yay! Three people! 708 00:41:57,875 --> 00:41:59,083 -Whoo! -Oh my God, no. 709 00:41:59,166 --> 00:42:01,500 Guys, I need the cheerleaders to sign this. 710 00:42:01,583 --> 00:42:03,708 Because then everyone will. Cheer pressure. 711 00:42:03,791 --> 00:42:07,041 Well, they'll sign it 'cause we already did. 712 00:42:07,875 --> 00:42:08,708 Ha! 713 00:42:08,791 --> 00:42:11,416 -You guys are the cheerleaders? -Absolutely. 714 00:42:13,083 --> 00:42:15,333 -Ready? -Okay! 715 00:42:27,083 --> 00:42:29,833 Oh. Good job, good job. What'd you think? 716 00:42:31,083 --> 00:42:32,291 What was that? 717 00:42:32,833 --> 00:42:35,166 -Well, that's-- -What was that? 718 00:42:36,166 --> 00:42:38,833 -It's our most popular routine. -Yeah. 719 00:42:39,791 --> 00:42:42,625 -Well, who were you guys cheering for? -For everyone. 720 00:42:42,708 --> 00:42:45,625 You know, to do the right thing, right? Team Humanity! 721 00:42:45,708 --> 00:42:47,041 Team Humanity! 722 00:42:47,125 --> 00:42:48,750 Uh… 723 00:42:48,833 --> 00:42:51,791 But what about, like, the music and the dancing and the flipping? 724 00:42:51,875 --> 00:42:55,000 Oh. Oh no. No. We do not do stunts anymore. 725 00:42:55,083 --> 00:42:57,791 -Oh. -And also we don't do any sexy dancing. 726 00:42:57,875 --> 00:43:00,833 We'd rather have people listen to our words than just our bodies. 727 00:43:00,916 --> 00:43:03,500 Okay, yeah, but this cheer would be so much better 728 00:43:03,583 --> 00:43:07,083 if you guys made me believe you were seconds away from showing your tits. 729 00:43:07,166 --> 00:43:09,000 -No, Steph… -Yes, Martha. 730 00:43:09,083 --> 00:43:11,750 -Okay. -Yes. I had this one signature move. 731 00:43:11,833 --> 00:43:15,375 You'll love it. It's called lips to lips. Everybody, do it with me. 732 00:43:15,458 --> 00:43:17,041 -Don't. -You start on the face. 733 00:43:17,125 --> 00:43:18,666 -Fingers go down the body. -No. 734 00:43:18,750 --> 00:43:20,208 Down the body and up. 735 00:43:20,291 --> 00:43:22,708 No! Why is everyone doing it? I'm saying don't do it. 736 00:43:22,791 --> 00:43:24,291 -Okay, look. -Okay. 737 00:43:24,375 --> 00:43:27,541 We would do that, but our freshman year, Bri Luvs made an Instagram post 738 00:43:27,625 --> 00:43:29,791 saying that cheerleaders were anti-feminist. 739 00:43:29,875 --> 00:43:32,291 The whole school turned against us, and we had to recalibrate. 740 00:43:32,375 --> 00:43:34,791 Her post got, like, seven million likes. 741 00:43:34,875 --> 00:43:36,375 -Eight million. -It was for the best. 742 00:43:36,458 --> 00:43:39,166 Anyways, let's show her our gun control routine. 743 00:43:39,250 --> 00:43:40,833 -It's one of our best. -No, wait! 744 00:43:40,916 --> 00:43:43,458 What even is this squad? Like… 745 00:43:45,291 --> 00:43:46,791 Is there even a cheer captain? 746 00:43:46,875 --> 00:43:49,041 -Yeah. -Yeah, Stephanie, I am the cheer captain. 747 00:43:49,125 --> 00:43:51,375 -I am the cheer captain. -I am the cheer captain. 748 00:43:51,458 --> 00:43:53,250 I'm a cheer captain. 749 00:43:53,333 --> 00:43:54,500 -And also the coach. -You? 750 00:43:55,625 --> 00:43:58,541 Martha, that's the most fucked up thing I've ever heard. 751 00:43:58,625 --> 00:44:02,291 Steph, we are all cheer captains here to promote… Say it with me. 752 00:44:02,375 --> 00:44:05,041 Equality! 753 00:44:05,125 --> 00:44:08,250 -Including you, Steph. -Welcome. 754 00:44:08,333 --> 00:44:10,916 -Do you love it? Are you okay? 755 00:44:11,708 --> 00:44:13,000 Oh my God. 756 00:44:13,083 --> 00:44:15,333 -Oh my God. -She loves it, you guys. You nailed it! 757 00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:19,958 -Oh my God! -Aw! 758 00:44:23,666 --> 00:44:25,125 Excuse me, Mr. Bud. 759 00:44:25,208 --> 00:44:26,500 Hey, what's up? 760 00:44:26,583 --> 00:44:28,500 Um, seeing as you're my librarian now, 761 00:44:28,583 --> 00:44:31,625 you're legally obligated to help me research something, yeah? 762 00:44:31,708 --> 00:44:32,541 Yeah, by law. 763 00:44:32,625 --> 00:44:36,291 Yeah, I think the teachers union's a real stickler about that sort of thing. 764 00:44:36,375 --> 00:44:39,208 I'm just kidding. I'm not in the union. What's up? 765 00:44:39,291 --> 00:44:41,833 -Oh, this is addictive. -Yeah. 766 00:44:41,916 --> 00:44:45,083 Social platforms have become a vital tool for communication. 767 00:44:45,166 --> 00:44:48,250 Look, it's a turtle humping a rock! 768 00:44:48,333 --> 00:44:49,666 -Yeah. -Oh, get it. Get it. 769 00:44:49,750 --> 00:44:51,416 Yeah, oh, that gets a heart. 770 00:44:51,500 --> 00:44:52,916 -And it's also that. 771 00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:55,791 Okay. All right. I think I've worked this thing out. 772 00:44:55,875 --> 00:44:56,708 Okay. 773 00:44:56,791 --> 00:44:59,458 So, basically you get followers by being somebody everybody likes. 774 00:44:59,541 --> 00:45:00,375 Mm-hmm. 775 00:45:00,458 --> 00:45:03,666 So it's a popularity contest, but instead of just high school, 776 00:45:03,750 --> 00:45:06,750 it's now the whole world, and the whole world is your phone. 777 00:45:06,833 --> 00:45:08,708 Yeah. I mean, that's exactly it. 778 00:45:08,791 --> 00:45:10,541 -That's it. -Yeah, it's pretty sad. 779 00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:14,250 No! This is, like, amazing. This is like a shortcut. 780 00:45:14,333 --> 00:45:17,500 Wow, I immediately regret showing you this. 781 00:45:17,583 --> 00:45:19,750 Just to be clear, this is a way for people to pretend 782 00:45:19,833 --> 00:45:22,000 their life and skin texture is better than it is. 783 00:45:22,083 --> 00:45:25,708 Is that why you've posted this picture of you with this random hot chick? 784 00:45:25,791 --> 00:45:28,625 No, that's my ex-fiancée Diana. 785 00:45:28,708 --> 00:45:30,458 -You were engaged? -I was. 786 00:45:30,541 --> 00:45:33,125 -Shut up! Seth. - Uh-huh. 787 00:45:33,208 --> 00:45:35,041 That's actually how I ended up here. 788 00:45:35,125 --> 00:45:37,916 We both were working at the National Archives in DC, 789 00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:40,333 and when we split up, I needed a change. 790 00:45:40,416 --> 00:45:42,958 So Martha got me a job at Harding, and here I am. 791 00:45:43,041 --> 00:45:45,583 Trust me, being close to 40 and back at my high school 792 00:45:45,666 --> 00:45:47,208 isn't exactly where I wanted to be, but… 793 00:45:47,291 --> 00:45:50,083 -Oh. Tell me about it! -Yeah, right! 794 00:45:50,166 --> 00:45:53,458 Uh, well, I should get back to enriching young minds. 795 00:45:53,541 --> 00:45:55,291 Just kidding. I'm covering a drama class. 796 00:45:55,375 --> 00:45:56,625 -I'll see you later. -Okay. 797 00:45:56,708 --> 00:45:58,708 -All right. Oh! -Bye! 798 00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,166 Need that back. Yeah, thanks, Steph. 799 00:46:05,333 --> 00:46:06,500 Please, Dad! 800 00:46:07,041 --> 00:46:09,333 Phones are like the new Tamagotchis. 801 00:46:09,416 --> 00:46:13,875 Okay? I need one, and I promise you, I will not go over the minutes. 802 00:46:13,958 --> 00:46:17,791 Really, it's for my own personal safety, 'cause what happens if I get kidnapped? 803 00:46:17,875 --> 00:46:21,250 I think if you get kidnapped, Stephanie, they'll probably take your phone. 804 00:46:21,333 --> 00:46:23,916 Not if I'd hidden it up my… 805 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:27,416 Well, just to be safe, it's probably a good thing. 806 00:46:28,041 --> 00:46:29,166 I got you this. 807 00:46:30,833 --> 00:46:32,916 Oh my God. 808 00:46:37,333 --> 00:46:38,250 Dad… 809 00:46:39,708 --> 00:46:41,375 -Thank you! -You're welcome. 810 00:46:41,458 --> 00:46:43,375 Oh, you're the best dad! 811 00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:48,500 Dad, I can't believe this! 812 00:46:49,333 --> 00:46:51,833 Hey, guys, uh, it's just me, Stephanie. 813 00:46:51,916 --> 00:46:54,333 -I'm just chilling at my crib. 814 00:46:54,416 --> 00:46:56,083 I don't even know how to do this. 815 00:46:56,166 --> 00:47:00,875 I was just thinking that we should bring prom queen back to Harding High. 816 00:47:00,958 --> 00:47:02,375 -#AwesomeIdea. 817 00:47:02,458 --> 00:47:04,208 -#Yes. 818 00:47:04,291 --> 00:47:07,208 -Spread it around. Let's make it a virus. 819 00:47:07,291 --> 00:47:08,541 That's… that's cute. 820 00:47:08,625 --> 00:47:10,791 Remember to vote for this year's prom theme. 821 00:47:10,875 --> 00:47:13,291 The choices are A, Bridgerton, 822 00:47:13,375 --> 00:47:14,875 B, pride, 823 00:47:14,958 --> 00:47:18,750 and a last-minute write-in submission by Stephanie Conway, C, 824 00:47:18,833 --> 00:47:20,750 The Real World: New Orleans. 825 00:47:21,333 --> 00:47:23,625 -Democracy works only if you vote! -What? 826 00:47:23,708 --> 00:47:26,416 -Stop, stop, stop. -Love you all! 827 00:47:26,500 --> 00:47:28,166 -Oh my God. -Are you going over there? 828 00:47:28,250 --> 00:47:29,291 -Okay. -So fire. 829 00:47:29,375 --> 00:47:31,625 Let's wait until the party to tell everyone. 830 00:47:31,708 --> 00:47:34,541 Oh my God, is there a party happening? Whoo! 831 00:47:34,625 --> 00:47:37,625 Oh. Hi, Stephanie. What's up? 832 00:47:37,708 --> 00:47:40,958 I just came to say we're, like, cool. 833 00:47:41,041 --> 00:47:43,791 Okay? Even after the other day when you, like, said I was old and shit. 834 00:47:43,875 --> 00:47:46,083 Oh, did you think that was mean? 835 00:47:46,166 --> 00:47:47,458 I am so sorry. 836 00:47:47,541 --> 00:47:48,791 I was just shedding light 837 00:47:48,875 --> 00:47:50,833 on an often overlooked discrimination issue. 838 00:47:50,916 --> 00:47:52,208 Look, okay, I get. 839 00:47:52,291 --> 00:47:55,541 Queen bee feels very threatened by the hot new girl 840 00:47:55,625 --> 00:47:57,458 and decides to go on the offensive. 841 00:47:57,541 --> 00:48:00,375 Classic Sandy/Rizzo. It was the same way with your mum. 842 00:48:00,458 --> 00:48:03,250 I am not my mom. I'm nothing like her. 843 00:48:03,333 --> 00:48:06,750 So whatever went on between you two has nothing to do with me. 844 00:48:06,833 --> 00:48:11,041 Awesome. Okay, so now that we're friends, can you follow me on Insta? 845 00:48:11,125 --> 00:48:16,666 I'm "A" with this little circle around it hot coma girl 113. 846 00:48:16,750 --> 00:48:19,583 Who knew? There's 112 other hot coma girls. 847 00:48:19,666 --> 00:48:23,125 Mm-hmm. Okay, so I get this request a lot. 848 00:48:23,208 --> 00:48:25,416 Um, I limit my follows, 849 00:48:25,500 --> 00:48:28,083 'cause if I follow one person, another might get mad, 850 00:48:28,166 --> 00:48:31,166 so it's a sacrifice I make for everyone's mental health. 851 00:48:31,250 --> 00:48:33,291 Um, but good luck getting followers. 852 00:48:33,375 --> 00:48:36,041 Okay. Well, wait, can you follow me? 853 00:48:36,750 --> 00:48:38,666 Can I follow her on Instagram? 854 00:48:38,750 --> 00:48:39,583 No. 855 00:48:40,083 --> 00:48:40,958 I can't. 856 00:48:41,041 --> 00:48:42,583 Sorry. 857 00:48:53,291 --> 00:48:54,666 Hey, Steph. 858 00:48:54,750 --> 00:48:57,416 -Holy shit. Mmm. -Um, I'm doing a makeup tutorial. 859 00:48:57,500 --> 00:48:59,500 For who? Batman villains? 860 00:48:59,583 --> 00:49:01,708 I'm just really needing some new followers. 861 00:49:01,791 --> 00:49:04,458 You don't realize how many people don't care about you 862 00:49:04,541 --> 00:49:06,416 until you see it as a number on your phone. 863 00:49:06,500 --> 00:49:10,166 Okay. Well, if you get tired of being an influencer, 864 00:49:10,250 --> 00:49:13,708 the Natural History Museum is showing Deep Impact on their IMAX all week. 865 00:49:13,791 --> 00:49:15,500 So, maybe we could go this weekend? 866 00:49:15,583 --> 00:49:17,625 Deep Impact again? 867 00:49:17,708 --> 00:49:21,541 Oh my God. You, me, and Martha just watched that a couple weekends ago. 868 00:49:22,875 --> 00:49:26,250 Oh no, actually, I think you're thinking of 1,000 weekends ago. 869 00:49:27,458 --> 00:49:29,416 Oh. Right. 870 00:49:29,500 --> 00:49:33,291 Mm. Okay, I would go, but I've got a party this weekend. 871 00:49:33,375 --> 00:49:36,875 Oh, cool. Uh, you know, what night? I'm completely free. 872 00:49:36,958 --> 00:49:40,500 I don't actually know yet, so I'm just keeping my schedule open. 873 00:49:40,583 --> 00:49:42,666 Right. 874 00:49:43,208 --> 00:49:44,250 Just to be clear, 875 00:49:44,333 --> 00:49:46,708 you're saying no to attend a party you haven't been invited to 876 00:49:46,791 --> 00:49:48,458 and don't know when or where it's happening? 877 00:49:48,541 --> 00:49:51,291 Yeah. Okay, I gotta get back to my contouring. 878 00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:54,875 All right. 879 00:49:58,291 --> 00:49:59,708 So hot. 880 00:49:59,791 --> 00:50:02,416 I mean, even just an hour a night, that would be amazing. 881 00:50:02,500 --> 00:50:04,000 -I can make that happen. -Yeah. 882 00:50:04,083 --> 00:50:04,916 Okay. 883 00:50:06,875 --> 00:50:07,833 What's going on? 884 00:50:08,916 --> 00:50:12,541 Why are you guys acting sus? What? Don't say… 885 00:50:13,291 --> 00:50:16,916 Are you two together? Oh my God. I'm not calling you Mum! 886 00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:20,291 Martha tells me you're already falling behind in your classes. 887 00:50:20,375 --> 00:50:22,833 Are you doing crack cocaine? 888 00:50:22,916 --> 00:50:24,166 No. 889 00:50:24,250 --> 00:50:27,208 Dad, I'm just still adjusting. 890 00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,833 I just found out there were eight more Fast and Furious movies. 891 00:50:30,916 --> 00:50:34,375 I just wanna make sure that you're giving your schoolwork the attention it deserves. 892 00:50:34,458 --> 00:50:36,625 Well, I've just been really busy 893 00:50:36,708 --> 00:50:38,875 with super important stuff, like making friends. 894 00:50:38,958 --> 00:50:41,500 -Well, good. I'm… That's great. -Mm-hmm. 895 00:50:41,583 --> 00:50:43,583 -But you can still do your homework. -Yep! 896 00:50:43,666 --> 00:50:46,041 You're smart, Steph, always have been. 897 00:50:46,125 --> 00:50:48,625 I don't wanna see you use this second chance incorrectly. 898 00:50:48,708 --> 00:50:51,458 Okay. Well, I've got the solution for this. 899 00:50:51,541 --> 00:50:52,916 No phone for the weekend. 900 00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:54,500 -What? -Mm-hmm. 901 00:50:55,541 --> 00:50:57,375 Dad, no. How else will I live? 902 00:50:57,458 --> 00:51:00,000 You survived 20 years without solid food. 903 00:51:00,083 --> 00:51:02,208 You can go for a weekend without your iPhone, hon. 904 00:51:02,291 --> 00:51:03,708 -No! -Hand it over. 905 00:51:03,791 --> 00:51:06,083 -Are you being serious? -Yes. I am being very-- 906 00:51:06,166 --> 00:51:08,041 Are you being full serious right now? 907 00:51:08,125 --> 00:51:10,000 -Full serious. -Are you from Syria? 908 00:51:10,083 --> 00:51:11,125 I'm very serious. 909 00:51:11,208 --> 00:51:12,458 No! 910 00:51:13,875 --> 00:51:14,875 No! 911 00:51:14,958 --> 00:51:17,500 -Hand me the phone. -Here, have it, then. Have it. 912 00:51:18,375 --> 00:51:19,208 It's a remote. 913 00:51:19,291 --> 00:51:21,958 -No! -Uh… 914 00:51:22,041 --> 00:51:25,291 -Get off the door frame, honey. -No! It's my phone! 915 00:51:25,375 --> 00:51:26,541 Give him the phone. 916 00:51:26,625 --> 00:51:27,708 No… 917 00:51:32,750 --> 00:51:34,708 Thanks a lot, Principal Martha. 918 00:51:35,208 --> 00:51:37,791 Oh my God, Lance and Bri look so hot. 919 00:51:37,875 --> 00:51:40,458 What the slut? They're all there. 920 00:51:40,541 --> 00:51:42,416 Can I… can I have my phone back now? 921 00:51:42,500 --> 00:51:44,208 Oh my God. 922 00:51:44,291 --> 00:51:46,625 Guys, what kind of psycho world is this 923 00:51:46,708 --> 00:51:49,708 where the cheerleaders don't get invited to a party? Hello! 924 00:51:49,791 --> 00:51:51,833 Are they stupid? We are the party! 925 00:51:51,916 --> 00:51:53,666 Babe, of course we weren't invited. 926 00:51:53,750 --> 00:51:55,416 -It's DM VIP. -Yeah. 927 00:51:55,500 --> 00:51:57,583 You only get to go to them if they follow you. 928 00:51:57,666 --> 00:51:58,916 Only the hot, cool people. 929 00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,500 -Yeah. -Well, yeah, but we are hot and cool. 930 00:52:01,583 --> 00:52:02,916 -Thank you. -Um, 931 00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:05,458 four years of not getting invited to those parties, 932 00:52:05,541 --> 00:52:08,416 the message gets, like, very clear. We're not. 933 00:52:09,125 --> 00:52:12,791 This is kind of like a party. I can have my dad pop in a Di. 934 00:52:14,916 --> 00:52:16,041 It means "DiGiorno." 935 00:52:16,125 --> 00:52:18,833 -Oh, oh, oh. -No, I'm talking about a "party" party. 936 00:52:18,916 --> 00:52:22,541 I can't have video record of me partying. The media's gonna use it to try 937 00:52:22,625 --> 00:52:25,833 and discredit me when I run for office, like they did with AOC. 938 00:52:25,916 --> 00:52:26,750 No. 939 00:52:27,541 --> 00:52:31,625 Okay, guys, you need to listen up, all right? This is now serious. 940 00:52:33,666 --> 00:52:37,250 We need to dance because we need to show everybody 941 00:52:37,333 --> 00:52:38,666 that we are the cool ones. 942 00:52:38,750 --> 00:52:42,708 Guys, when I was in high school, all the popular kids treated me like shit 943 00:52:42,791 --> 00:52:44,583 until I showed them how cool I was, 944 00:52:44,666 --> 00:52:48,708 which is so cool that the most popular girl in high school, 945 00:52:48,791 --> 00:52:51,458 her boyfriend dumped her for me. 946 00:52:52,291 --> 00:52:54,416 -And you know who that was? -Who? 947 00:52:55,333 --> 00:52:57,041 -Bri's mom. -Tiffany? 948 00:52:58,083 --> 00:52:59,083 And that guy, 949 00:53:00,458 --> 00:53:01,291 Bri's dad. 950 00:53:03,375 --> 00:53:04,791 What? 951 00:53:04,875 --> 00:53:10,000 And once you've blown someone's dad, you realize they're not that scary. 952 00:53:10,083 --> 00:53:11,208 -Hmm. -Good to know. 953 00:53:11,291 --> 00:53:12,416 Yeah, I mean… 954 00:53:12,500 --> 00:53:16,875 So, everybody, watch and learn. 955 00:53:16,958 --> 00:53:17,916 -Let's dance. -Okay. 956 00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:20,541 Okay, can you hit play? Yeah, nice fingering. 957 00:53:39,125 --> 00:53:41,500 -Yeah. Okay, get into it, guys. 958 00:53:41,583 --> 00:53:43,791 -Like, hips, shoulders. 959 00:54:21,833 --> 00:54:24,208 Sing it! 960 00:54:24,291 --> 00:54:27,125 Yeah! 961 00:54:33,416 --> 00:54:36,625 -Stop! 962 00:55:03,250 --> 00:55:05,958 All right, guys, we have a show to put on. 963 00:55:07,791 --> 00:55:09,291 Please don't blow my dad. 964 00:55:12,375 --> 00:55:15,416 Now, don't worry. I've spoken with the school nurse, 965 00:55:15,500 --> 00:55:17,833 and with less than three weeks until graduation, 966 00:55:17,916 --> 00:55:22,000 we are prepared for an epidemic of senioritis. 967 00:55:24,750 --> 00:55:26,333 Freshmen suck. 968 00:55:27,125 --> 00:55:31,000 Um, okay. So without further ado, please join me in welcoming 969 00:55:31,083 --> 00:55:34,666 the president of the Harding High PTA, Tiffany Balbo. 970 00:55:42,333 --> 00:55:43,500 Hi! 971 00:55:44,083 --> 00:55:45,125 Thank you. 972 00:55:45,208 --> 00:55:47,958 And I know she's the principal, boo. 973 00:55:48,041 --> 00:55:49,000 Boo. 974 00:55:49,083 --> 00:55:52,875 -But give it up for Miss Riser, everyone. 975 00:55:52,958 --> 00:55:55,000 -Stop it. -Sorry. Sorry. 976 00:55:55,083 --> 00:55:59,375 Okay. What a special evening we get to share with our kids 977 00:55:59,458 --> 00:56:01,916 before they go off to adulthood. 978 00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,875 Okay, guys, the energy in this place is sucking wiens. 979 00:56:04,958 --> 00:56:06,833 We need to get out there and rock their worlds. 980 00:56:06,916 --> 00:56:07,958 Oh, and here's this. 981 00:56:08,041 --> 00:56:09,291 Huh? 982 00:56:09,375 --> 00:56:11,083 -It's the music for the routine. -Oh, yes. 983 00:56:11,166 --> 00:56:14,208 Thank you for the computer tampon. Shove that where that goes. 984 00:56:14,291 --> 00:56:16,000 Really, guys, you're the bomb diggity. 985 00:56:16,083 --> 00:56:17,291 -All of you. -Aw! 986 00:56:17,375 --> 00:56:20,166 I love you, and we're gonna crush the sluts and-- 987 00:56:20,250 --> 00:56:24,083 Oh, it's the big finale, you guys. It's the big finale! 988 00:56:24,166 --> 00:56:25,625 I'm so proud of you. 989 00:56:25,708 --> 00:56:28,000 You pumped to go out there and change some minds? 990 00:56:29,041 --> 00:56:31,916 And just remember, this is all I have. 991 00:56:36,833 --> 00:56:39,833 And real quick, due to the custom table-scapes, 992 00:56:39,916 --> 00:56:43,791 the prom ticket prices have gone from $48 to $93. 993 00:56:43,875 --> 00:56:46,333 -We take Venmo and PayPal and Zelle. 994 00:56:46,416 --> 00:56:47,666 Thank you so much! 995 00:56:50,958 --> 00:56:52,333 Yeah! 996 00:56:52,416 --> 00:56:54,291 Okay. Thank you, parents. 997 00:56:54,375 --> 00:56:55,916 Speaking of prom, 998 00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:59,666 making good choices is at the forefront of every school function, 999 00:56:59,750 --> 00:57:03,583 so to help us illustrate that, please welcome our radical Bulldogettes. 1000 00:57:12,041 --> 00:57:13,708 -Ready? -Consent! 1001 00:57:24,708 --> 00:57:26,500 Yeah! 1002 00:57:27,041 --> 00:57:30,458 Let's go! Let's hear it for consent! 1003 00:57:48,916 --> 00:57:50,708 Are you ready for the remix? 1004 00:58:19,458 --> 00:58:21,125 Oh my God. 1005 00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:38,583 -Did they just touch their-- Just shut up. Shut up. 1006 00:58:38,666 --> 00:58:39,833 Yeah! 1007 00:58:40,958 --> 00:58:44,041 Bulldogs, fuck yeah! Yeah! Whoo! 1008 00:58:44,125 --> 00:58:47,666 -You are a father. -They brought it back. I am a father. 1009 00:58:48,458 --> 00:58:49,291 Ooh. 1010 00:58:55,166 --> 00:58:57,500 -Damn, Conway! -Oh! 1011 00:58:58,083 --> 00:59:00,500 -Blaine! Oh my God! Oh my God. -Whoo! 1012 00:59:00,583 --> 00:59:01,958 Watching you up there. 1013 00:59:02,041 --> 00:59:03,791 -Shut up. -No, it's true! 1014 00:59:03,875 --> 00:59:05,750 -Shut up! Look at you! -Yeah? 1015 00:59:05,833 --> 00:59:07,125 Look at you now. You're such a-- 1016 00:59:07,208 --> 00:59:09,625 I'm a DILF. I know. Who would've thought? 1017 00:59:09,708 --> 00:59:10,916 -Hmm. -Hmm. 1018 00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:13,625 Oh, and I wanted to say I thought it was so cool 1019 00:59:13,708 --> 00:59:16,416 that I was one of the first places you stopped when you woke up. 1020 00:59:16,500 --> 00:59:19,708 I can't tell you how many times I've thought of you over the past years. 1021 00:59:19,791 --> 00:59:20,833 -Yeah? -Yeah. 1022 00:59:22,125 --> 00:59:23,916 Well, even though I was pretty much brain-dead, 1023 00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:25,875 you were the one that kept my heart beating. 1024 00:59:25,958 --> 00:59:29,333 Well, listen, I'll just say, you let me know 1025 00:59:29,416 --> 00:59:32,500 if you ever want to take another trip down memory Blaine. 1026 00:59:32,583 --> 00:59:34,916 -Yeah, but, Blaine, what about Tiff? -Eh. 1027 00:59:35,500 --> 00:59:37,166 Didn't stop us the first time. 1028 00:59:38,083 --> 00:59:40,125 What? You said you two were broken up. 1029 00:59:40,208 --> 00:59:42,375 It's, uh… You know, I don't… 1030 00:59:45,083 --> 00:59:46,208 -What? -I was joking. 1031 00:59:46,291 --> 00:59:49,208 I haven't forgotten about your whole "no cheating" rule. 1032 00:59:49,291 --> 00:59:52,041 Yeah, which is why we can't be together. 1033 00:59:53,333 --> 00:59:54,166 Yet. 1034 00:59:55,416 --> 00:59:57,291 But if you're the man that I think you are… 1035 00:59:59,583 --> 01:00:01,458 I'm sure you'll make the right choice. 1036 01:00:01,541 --> 01:00:02,958 Yeah. No, I… 1037 01:00:04,041 --> 01:00:04,958 Oh, sh… 1038 01:00:06,375 --> 01:00:07,333 Hmm. 1039 01:00:14,416 --> 01:00:15,250 Conway. 1040 01:00:41,875 --> 01:00:44,500 Stephanie, can you come down here, please? 1041 01:00:50,083 --> 01:00:53,500 "Stephanie, we support Instagram stars like you 1042 01:00:53,583 --> 01:00:56,166 who share Hostess' commitment to never growing old." 1043 01:00:58,125 --> 01:01:01,500 "Warmest wishes from your friends at Canada Goose." That is sick! 1044 01:01:02,333 --> 01:01:03,375 "Let's be buds." 1045 01:01:04,083 --> 01:01:06,083 Holy shit. 1046 01:01:32,583 --> 01:01:35,541 I don't get what the big deal was. We were just dancing! 1047 01:01:35,625 --> 01:01:39,791 Steph, the big deal is that I told you that we don't do that anymore, 1048 01:01:39,875 --> 01:01:42,250 and you went and did it anyway behind my back. 1049 01:01:42,333 --> 01:01:45,000 Are you really mad? Or is this because Tiff yelled at you? 1050 01:01:45,083 --> 01:01:45,958 Oh, Steph! 1051 01:01:46,041 --> 01:01:48,625 You can't let her bully you, I've always said that. 1052 01:01:48,708 --> 01:01:50,250 It's not about Tiffany. 1053 01:01:50,333 --> 01:01:51,375 I care about this 1054 01:01:51,458 --> 01:01:54,833 because what you did up there, it wasn't school-appropriate. 1055 01:01:54,916 --> 01:01:56,000 You fondled yourself 1056 01:01:56,083 --> 01:01:59,166 for an unsuspecting audience in a routine about consent. 1057 01:01:59,250 --> 01:02:01,416 But I gave myself consent 1058 01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:03,583 to do that to myself. 1059 01:02:03,666 --> 01:02:05,458 Stop stroking your nipples. 1060 01:02:05,541 --> 01:02:07,291 Marth, what is going on here? 1061 01:02:07,375 --> 01:02:09,250 The cheerleaders aren't allowed to dance. 1062 01:02:09,333 --> 01:02:10,833 You took away prom queen. 1063 01:02:10,916 --> 01:02:13,833 You turned the cafeteria into a Hogwarts without the magic. 1064 01:02:13,916 --> 01:02:15,750 Are you trying to make this place suck wiens? 1065 01:02:15,833 --> 01:02:19,958 Number one, how dare you? It is like Hogwarts with the magic. 1066 01:02:20,541 --> 01:02:24,750 And number two, it doesn't suck wiens. It's nice. 1067 01:02:24,833 --> 01:02:26,791 It's… it's nice here. 1068 01:02:26,875 --> 01:02:29,833 -I had more fun in a coma. -You did not have more fun in the coma. 1069 01:02:29,916 --> 01:02:32,250 I had more fun going like this. 1070 01:02:34,708 --> 01:02:35,666 Stephanie. 1071 01:02:35,750 --> 01:02:38,333 That was way more fun than this high school. 1072 01:02:38,416 --> 01:02:43,166 Steph, this may come as a shock to you, but for most kids, high school sucks. 1073 01:02:43,250 --> 01:02:46,916 I don't know why you're acting like we didn't have the same experience. 1074 01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:48,583 High school was awesome! 1075 01:02:48,666 --> 01:02:53,125 Freshman year, you bailed on Seth and I to go be some popular girl. 1076 01:02:53,208 --> 01:02:56,666 No, I didn't bail. I just got more friends 1077 01:02:56,750 --> 01:02:58,916 and a really hot boyfriend. 1078 01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:01,541 Seriously, if you'd had a boyfriend, you would have understood. 1079 01:03:01,625 --> 01:03:04,875 Stephanie, I wouldn't understand because I'm gay. 1080 01:03:04,958 --> 01:03:07,291 Ooh, you can't say that word, unless you're saying it 1081 01:03:07,375 --> 01:03:10,708 in a neutral-positive way to refer to someone that is… 1082 01:03:13,250 --> 01:03:14,375 Mm-hmm. 1083 01:03:15,708 --> 01:03:16,583 Oh. 1084 01:03:17,666 --> 01:03:18,500 Yeah. 1085 01:03:18,583 --> 01:03:23,208 And it… it made high school a living hell for me. 1086 01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:26,708 Back then, I felt very alone 1087 01:03:27,708 --> 01:03:32,375 and angry and so threatened 1088 01:03:32,458 --> 01:03:38,083 that if I showed one iota of my real self, then I would be ripped to shreds 1089 01:03:39,375 --> 01:03:43,041 by Tiffany or Blaine or you. 1090 01:03:43,625 --> 01:03:44,500 Me? 1091 01:03:45,750 --> 01:03:47,875 No way. Why would you even say that? 1092 01:03:47,958 --> 01:03:51,541 Because, Steph, sometimes I didn't know who you were. 1093 01:03:53,208 --> 01:03:54,833 Or… are. 1094 01:03:56,166 --> 01:03:57,291 Look, let's… 1095 01:03:57,375 --> 01:03:59,583 There's three weeks left of the school year. 1096 01:03:59,666 --> 01:04:03,000 So let's just get through those as peacefully as possible, 1097 01:04:03,083 --> 01:04:06,500 and then I can go to my family's lake house for the summer. 1098 01:04:08,958 --> 01:04:12,916 The periodic table is made up of 119 elements. 1099 01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:16,666 Oh, hey, space nerds. JK, JK. 1100 01:04:16,750 --> 01:04:20,000 Any of you want to come see Deep Impact with me and Blaine this weekend? 1101 01:04:20,583 --> 01:04:23,291 As part of my collab with the Natural History Museum, 1102 01:04:23,375 --> 01:04:28,166 you will get 20% off ticket prices and complimentary space ice cream. 1103 01:04:28,250 --> 01:04:30,833 So come watch the end of the world with us. 1104 01:04:30,916 --> 01:04:33,666 Remember it just for me. Please. 1105 01:04:33,750 --> 01:04:36,250 -No one's gonna read you. 1106 01:04:38,250 --> 01:04:40,416 Oh boy, no one's gonna read you. 1107 01:04:41,166 --> 01:04:42,708 Are you talking to the books? 1108 01:04:43,208 --> 01:04:46,416 -Oh, yeah, I find it helps them grow. -Still a dork. 1109 01:04:46,500 --> 01:04:48,375 -Huh. -So… 1110 01:04:48,458 --> 01:04:49,333 Uh, 1111 01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:53,041 do you, like, still wanna see Deep Impact? 1112 01:04:54,791 --> 01:04:56,166 I'm gonna get some popcorn. 1113 01:04:56,250 --> 01:05:00,875 Maybe some freeze-dried space ice cream. Maybe some Milk Duds, some Whoppers, 1114 01:05:00,958 --> 01:05:04,083 some Juicy Fruit. I gotta keep this girlish figure. 1115 01:05:04,166 --> 01:05:05,708 You want anything, or… 1116 01:05:05,791 --> 01:05:09,333 Um, oh, no, no, no, don't go just yet. Just hang here for one second. 1117 01:05:09,416 --> 01:05:10,375 Yeah, sure. 1118 01:05:10,458 --> 01:05:14,791 Oh my God, Seth, you're such a gentleman going to get the snacks. 1119 01:05:14,875 --> 01:05:17,708 Oh my God, I swear, you have such a massive dick. 1120 01:05:17,791 --> 01:05:20,833 -What did you say? -What? Oh, Blaine, Tiffany. 1121 01:05:20,916 --> 01:05:22,958 -Hi! -Hi! What are you doing here? 1122 01:05:23,041 --> 01:05:24,458 What a coincidence. 1123 01:05:24,541 --> 01:05:27,125 I'm, um, here on a date with Seth. 1124 01:05:27,208 --> 01:05:29,416 He asked me out, and I said, 1125 01:05:29,500 --> 01:05:32,958 "You know what? I am single and so horny, so yes." 1126 01:05:33,041 --> 01:05:34,875 -Isn't that right? -Yep. 1127 01:05:34,958 --> 01:05:35,833 Really? 1128 01:05:35,916 --> 01:05:38,208 Wait, I'm sorry. You are on a date with Sethany? 1129 01:05:38,291 --> 01:05:40,916 -Well, it's just Seth. 1130 01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:44,041 Relax. I'm just joking. 1131 01:05:44,125 --> 01:05:46,666 Well, yeah, we're just here to see a movie. 1132 01:05:46,750 --> 01:05:49,291 It's not like we're gonna have hot, consensual sex 1133 01:05:49,375 --> 01:05:50,583 when the lights go down. 1134 01:05:50,666 --> 01:05:53,333 Mm-hmm. Hmm. Hmm? 1135 01:05:53,416 --> 01:05:55,041 Wow! Uh… 1136 01:05:55,125 --> 01:05:58,541 Wow, Seth, it only took 20 years and some brain damage, 1137 01:05:58,625 --> 01:06:01,375 but she finally agreed to go out with you. Way to go! 1138 01:06:02,083 --> 01:06:04,250 Again, just joking. 1139 01:06:06,416 --> 01:06:08,166 -Hilarious. -Let's go find our seats. 1140 01:06:08,250 --> 01:06:10,333 -Huh? -Let's go find our seats. 1141 01:06:11,541 --> 01:06:14,458 -We gotta go find our seats. -Down in front, yep. 1142 01:06:14,541 --> 01:06:15,416 Yeah. 1143 01:06:16,125 --> 01:06:18,041 -Oh, yeah. -"Sethany." 1144 01:06:27,583 --> 01:06:29,208 Feed me some popcorn. 1145 01:06:30,375 --> 01:06:31,750 Are you serious about that? 1146 01:06:32,541 --> 01:06:36,666 Yeah, just be awesome. Just… just toss some into my mouth. 1147 01:06:36,750 --> 01:06:37,625 All right. 1148 01:06:42,791 --> 01:06:43,791 Seth! 1149 01:06:44,750 --> 01:06:47,833 Oh my God. It's stuck in my throat. Oh, I'm choking. 1150 01:06:47,916 --> 01:06:50,666 -No, I really… I just got a Milk Dud. -Did you actually choke on that? 1151 01:06:50,750 --> 01:06:52,958 Yeah, it's stuck right there, but it's all right. 1152 01:06:53,041 --> 01:06:54,875 I thought that was a euphemism kind of thing. 1153 01:06:54,958 --> 01:06:56,833 -Fire tether pitons. -Pitons fired. 1154 01:07:10,666 --> 01:07:12,541 -Stop it. -What? 1155 01:07:12,625 --> 01:07:15,833 You're eye-fucking Stephanie so hard, she'll need the morning-after pill. 1156 01:07:15,916 --> 01:07:18,000 I am not eye-fucking anybody. 1157 01:07:18,083 --> 01:07:21,916 It is embarrassing. Do you want me to call Dr. Wilbin for more therapy? 1158 01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:24,625 -Don't threaten me with a good time. -Shut up! 1159 01:07:24,708 --> 01:07:27,833 Bitch, turn your ugly face around and watch the movie. 1160 01:07:27,916 --> 01:07:29,833 Careful how you talk to senior citizens. 1161 01:07:29,916 --> 01:07:30,916 Shut up, Blaine. 1162 01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:33,625 Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask you to be quiet. 1163 01:07:33,708 --> 01:07:34,916 I am not the problem. 1164 01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:37,416 There is a freaking porno happening over there! 1165 01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:40,041 -What? -Don't put that on my face. 1166 01:07:40,125 --> 01:07:42,291 It is not my fault. I am not doing anything. 1167 01:07:42,375 --> 01:07:45,541 Be quiet. I'm trying to watch the movie. 1168 01:07:45,625 --> 01:07:47,500 You're afraid you'll miss something? 1169 01:07:47,583 --> 01:07:48,958 The asteroid hits, 1170 01:07:49,041 --> 01:07:53,125 and Téa Leoni and her Austrian dad get hit by a ginormous wave. 1171 01:07:53,208 --> 01:07:54,416 -Aw. -What? 1172 01:07:54,500 --> 01:07:57,375 Oh, come on! We all knew that! 1173 01:07:57,458 --> 01:07:59,083 Can you… 1174 01:07:59,833 --> 01:08:00,833 -Sorry. -Ma'am? 1175 01:08:00,916 --> 01:08:02,041 I… 1176 01:08:02,125 --> 01:08:04,708 -Ma'am, come with me. -Okay, fine. Blaine? 1177 01:08:04,791 --> 01:08:06,708 What is the name of your manager? 1178 01:08:07,208 --> 01:08:10,416 Sir? I am going to have to email your manager. 1179 01:08:15,958 --> 01:08:17,416 -Ah! 1180 01:08:17,500 --> 01:08:20,625 Two decades later, and I still love watching Tiff lose her mind. 1181 01:08:20,708 --> 01:08:24,416 -I mean, that was incredibly satisfying. -Mm-hmm. 1182 01:08:24,500 --> 01:08:25,625 Okay, now I understand 1183 01:08:25,708 --> 01:08:28,458 why you devoted so much of your time on it in high school. 1184 01:08:28,541 --> 01:08:30,833 -Well, not the whole time. -Oh? 1185 01:08:30,916 --> 01:08:34,166 Just all of my junior, sophomore, and most of my senior year. 1186 01:08:34,250 --> 01:08:35,125 Mm. Mm-hmm. 1187 01:08:35,708 --> 01:08:38,416 Anyways, Marth told me something about you in high school. 1188 01:08:38,500 --> 01:08:40,583 Oh God. What? 1189 01:08:41,333 --> 01:08:44,166 She said that you had a crush on me. 1190 01:08:45,041 --> 01:08:45,875 Yes. 1191 01:08:46,500 --> 01:08:50,208 When we were in high school, I was very much in love with you. 1192 01:08:50,291 --> 01:08:51,500 Seth! 1193 01:08:51,583 --> 01:08:53,333 -Eh. -You were? Really? 1194 01:08:53,416 --> 01:08:55,916 -Eh. -Why didn't you ever say anything? 1195 01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:58,666 'Cause, you know, we were friends. 1196 01:08:58,750 --> 01:09:00,375 -Yeah. -And you were with Blaine. 1197 01:09:00,458 --> 01:09:03,375 And, you know, we both know what your answer would've been. 1198 01:09:03,458 --> 01:09:07,208 Maybe, maybe not. We're hanging out right now, aren't we? 1199 01:09:07,291 --> 01:09:10,916 Yeah, but that's only because you thought you could use me to make Blaine jealous. 1200 01:09:11,875 --> 01:09:14,958 Steph, come on. I'm a full-blown adult. 1201 01:09:15,041 --> 01:09:17,875 I think I can recognize a teenage trick when I see one. 1202 01:09:17,958 --> 01:09:20,791 That's not what's going on. 1203 01:09:20,875 --> 01:09:24,500 Oh, come on, you used to pull this with me and Marth all the time in high school. 1204 01:09:24,583 --> 01:09:27,625 You'd use our attention to make the popular kids crave yours. 1205 01:09:27,708 --> 01:09:29,416 Um, did I? 1206 01:09:29,916 --> 01:09:30,750 Yes. 1207 01:09:30,833 --> 01:09:34,208 We always wondered if those kids ever got to really meet you. 1208 01:09:34,875 --> 01:09:35,833 Like, the real you. 1209 01:09:38,250 --> 01:09:40,875 Well, I did have a really fun time tonight. 1210 01:09:41,875 --> 01:09:43,208 I'm… I'm sorry. 1211 01:09:43,291 --> 01:09:44,291 No, forget it. 1212 01:09:44,875 --> 01:09:46,291 So should I take you home? 1213 01:09:47,041 --> 01:09:51,041 Or we could continue to hang out. I have an idea of where we could go. 1214 01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:57,333 Whoa, okay. This place has changed. 1215 01:09:57,916 --> 01:09:59,791 Yeah, I think the lights are just on. 1216 01:10:00,791 --> 01:10:02,000 -Come on. -Okay. 1217 01:10:04,375 --> 01:10:06,041 Bri, baby, I need favor. 1218 01:10:09,291 --> 01:10:12,416 I want you to get prom king and queen reinstated. 1219 01:10:13,833 --> 01:10:14,708 What? 1220 01:10:15,750 --> 01:10:16,583 Mom. 1221 01:10:17,125 --> 01:10:18,791 No. No one cares about that. 1222 01:10:18,875 --> 01:10:19,833 I do. 1223 01:10:20,416 --> 01:10:23,750 I want you to beat Steph for prom queen. 1224 01:10:23,833 --> 01:10:26,750 You said it rewards archaic gender roles. 1225 01:10:26,833 --> 01:10:32,750 Well, exactly, which is why you need to be the woke prom queen. 1226 01:10:33,916 --> 01:10:36,041 I've already got interest from some brands, 1227 01:10:36,125 --> 01:10:37,708 and they are supes into it. 1228 01:10:37,791 --> 01:10:39,791 Mom. I'm not doing this. 1229 01:10:39,875 --> 01:10:43,166 And don't say "woke" or "supes." 1230 01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:46,541 Just beat Steph for mommy. 1231 01:10:47,291 --> 01:10:48,458 You owe me. 1232 01:10:48,541 --> 01:10:49,750 For what? 1233 01:10:51,458 --> 01:10:52,500 For being alive. 1234 01:10:52,583 --> 01:10:56,541 And if you wanna go on your trip to Nepal, you will do this for me. 1235 01:11:01,541 --> 01:11:03,375 -Can I ask you something? -Hmm? 1236 01:11:03,458 --> 01:11:06,166 Does it get exhausting trying to make everybody like you all the time? 1237 01:11:07,000 --> 01:11:07,875 Well, 1238 01:11:09,208 --> 01:11:11,333 it will be worth it when I win prom queen. 1239 01:11:11,416 --> 01:11:16,416 Well, what I remember about prom is that it was overhyped, 1240 01:11:17,166 --> 01:11:19,750 you weren't there, and it sucked. 1241 01:11:19,833 --> 01:11:23,041 -That's your memories of prom. That's it? -Yeah, pretty much. 1242 01:11:23,125 --> 01:11:25,333 Seth! Dude, come on. 1243 01:11:26,208 --> 01:11:29,291 Did you even try to have fun? Did you even try to tear it up on the dance floor? 1244 01:11:29,375 --> 01:11:32,083 -Just, like, give it the old groove? No! -Yeah! 1245 01:11:32,166 --> 01:11:35,416 It wouldn't have mattered, because prom doesn't matter, 1246 01:11:35,500 --> 01:11:37,458 especially not prom queen. 1247 01:11:38,000 --> 01:11:39,083 You maniac. 1248 01:11:39,166 --> 01:11:40,416 Come on, Steph. 1249 01:11:40,500 --> 01:11:44,083 You will yourself out of a coma, and that's what you care about? 1250 01:11:44,166 --> 01:11:46,666 -It's more than just a crown to me. -Hmm. 1251 01:11:47,625 --> 01:11:49,625 When I moved here to America, 1252 01:11:50,916 --> 01:11:51,958 it was so hard. 1253 01:11:52,041 --> 01:11:55,458 -Everyone made fun of me, as you remember. -Yeah. 1254 01:11:55,541 --> 01:11:57,083 And then Mum got sick. 1255 01:11:59,125 --> 01:12:02,375 And I was miserable. I was so miserable. 1256 01:12:04,916 --> 01:12:07,625 And you know what she used to say to help cheer me up? 1257 01:12:08,458 --> 01:12:13,916 She'd, like, say, "Steph, close your eyes and imagine your perfect life." 1258 01:12:14,833 --> 01:12:17,458 "And if you can imagine it, you can have it." 1259 01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:19,875 I was like… …"Shut up, Mom." 1260 01:12:21,166 --> 01:12:22,458 I didn't believe her. 1261 01:12:23,958 --> 01:12:25,125 Then she died. 1262 01:12:28,791 --> 01:12:30,875 Then I was… 1263 01:12:31,375 --> 01:12:34,833 I didn't tell anyone, but I was… I was more miserable than ever. 1264 01:12:37,750 --> 01:12:41,291 And then one day when we were driving and I saw Deanna Russo, 1265 01:12:41,375 --> 01:12:45,208 and I was like, "Whoa, she's happy." 1266 01:12:45,833 --> 01:12:47,250 And she was prom queen, 1267 01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:51,458 and I… I need to be her. Okay? 1268 01:12:52,250 --> 01:12:54,333 I wanted to be her so badly. 1269 01:12:55,541 --> 01:12:58,916 And I was getting there, and then all of a sudden, boom. 1270 01:12:59,916 --> 01:13:02,416 Coma. Lights out. 1271 01:13:03,958 --> 01:13:06,458 And I was bloody miserable again. 1272 01:13:08,083 --> 01:13:09,583 Then I thought, "Well… 1273 01:13:13,291 --> 01:13:16,625 I should see if I can prove my mum right." 1274 01:13:20,875 --> 01:13:26,375 "I should… I should really try and get that perfect life," you know? 1275 01:13:29,250 --> 01:13:32,291 Okay, definitely not just a crown. Sorry about that. I'm an asshole. 1276 01:13:32,875 --> 01:13:34,208 No, you're…  1277 01:13:34,291 --> 01:13:36,583 -No, you're not. -All right. 1278 01:13:36,666 --> 01:13:40,333 -Oh! -Oh! You did it. You got it! 1279 01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:41,750 Oh my God, okay. 1280 01:13:43,166 --> 01:13:45,708 -Yeah! 1281 01:13:45,791 --> 01:13:46,666 Woot, woot. 1282 01:13:47,250 --> 01:13:49,541 -Oh my God! -That's all yours. You can have that. 1283 01:13:54,666 --> 01:13:56,125 Do you wanna go to prom with me? 1284 01:13:59,750 --> 01:14:01,583 I promise you, you'll have a good time. 1285 01:14:02,083 --> 01:14:06,791 Well, I already signed up to be a chaperone, so, yeah, I'll go. 1286 01:14:06,875 --> 01:14:07,708 -Yeah? -Uh-huh. 1287 01:14:08,291 --> 01:14:09,791 -Awesome! 1288 01:14:10,375 --> 01:14:11,875 -Great. -Yeah. 1289 01:14:11,958 --> 01:14:13,083 Okay. All right. Wait. 1290 01:14:13,166 --> 01:14:15,125 -Let me try to win you something now. -Okay. Yeah. 1291 01:14:15,208 --> 01:14:17,333 Attention Harding High seniors, 1292 01:14:17,416 --> 01:14:20,875 a petition was just delivered to me by Bri Balbo, 1293 01:14:21,541 --> 01:14:22,416 I mean, Luvs, 1294 01:14:22,500 --> 01:14:26,166 um, officially reinstating a king and queen election 1295 01:14:26,250 --> 01:14:27,458 at this year's prom. 1296 01:14:27,541 --> 01:14:29,500 -What? It's back! -Prom? 1297 01:14:29,583 --> 01:14:31,000 Oh my God! 1298 01:14:31,083 --> 01:14:31,916 Oh my God! 1299 01:14:32,000 --> 01:14:34,833 -Shut up! -Oh my God! 1300 01:14:34,916 --> 01:14:37,708 Obviously, I respect the sacred privacy of student elections. 1301 01:14:37,791 --> 01:14:41,166 -But I'm totally voting for you. -Absolutely! Later, prom queen! 1302 01:14:41,250 --> 01:14:42,916 -Love you! 1303 01:14:56,375 --> 01:14:57,625 Can you believe it? 1304 01:14:58,625 --> 01:15:00,375 You might make history after all. 1305 01:15:00,958 --> 01:15:05,291 The first person to ever lose prom queen twice. 1306 01:15:06,791 --> 01:15:09,208 Don't go chasing waterfalls, Steph. 1307 01:15:09,708 --> 01:15:11,333 -Skank face. -What was that? 1308 01:15:12,708 --> 01:15:13,833 Oh, nothing. 1309 01:15:15,041 --> 01:15:16,208 Slut bag. 1310 01:15:16,708 --> 01:15:18,166 What did you just call me? 1311 01:15:18,708 --> 01:15:20,291 -Nothing. -Possum pussy. 1312 01:15:20,375 --> 01:15:22,041 -Rumpel-slut-skin. -Jizz collector. 1313 01:15:22,125 --> 01:15:23,291 You're a sad wife. 1314 01:15:23,375 --> 01:15:24,541 What did you say? 1315 01:15:26,125 --> 01:15:28,250 I didn't say shit, but you heard me. 1316 01:15:40,416 --> 01:15:41,916 Oh my God. 1317 01:15:42,458 --> 01:15:44,666 It's an invite to a prom party at Bri's. 1318 01:15:44,750 --> 01:15:46,541 -An invite? -Check your phone! 1319 01:15:47,541 --> 01:15:49,750 Oh my God! I got invited! 1320 01:15:49,833 --> 01:15:51,625 -Can you believe that? -We got invited! 1321 01:15:51,708 --> 01:15:53,416 -Steve Aoki is DJing. -Right? 1322 01:15:53,500 --> 01:15:55,250 Steve Aoki? I love it! 1323 01:15:55,333 --> 01:15:56,666 Oh my God! 1324 01:16:00,125 --> 01:16:04,250 Steph. Steph, we're not gonna go probably 'cause, I mean, it's a $50 cover. 1325 01:16:04,333 --> 01:16:06,250 -Oh, yeah. -That's so expensive. 1326 01:16:06,333 --> 01:16:07,333 I can't afford that. 1327 01:16:07,416 --> 01:16:10,666 Why didn't you tell me we were hosting it? I'd have got that aphrodisiac wine. 1328 01:16:10,750 --> 01:16:12,166 I didn't know. 1329 01:16:41,125 --> 01:16:41,958 Hi, guys. 1330 01:16:42,041 --> 01:16:43,583 I am so pumped to announce 1331 01:16:43,666 --> 01:16:46,833 that I will be hosting the biggest and the best prom after-party 1332 01:16:46,916 --> 01:16:48,541 at a supersecret locaish. 1333 01:16:49,041 --> 01:16:51,250 It's free to get in, unlike Bri's. 1334 01:16:52,166 --> 01:16:54,000 It's gonna be awesome. 1335 01:16:54,083 --> 01:16:57,666 So, DM me a picture of your ballot voting me as prom queen, 1336 01:16:57,750 --> 01:16:59,708 and you'll get all the deets night of. 1337 01:17:04,666 --> 01:17:06,250 This is weird for me too, sir. 1338 01:17:17,875 --> 01:17:18,875 Stephie! 1339 01:17:19,375 --> 01:17:21,208 Wanna hurry it up? 1340 01:17:25,833 --> 01:17:26,875 You want a beer? 1341 01:17:28,083 --> 01:17:30,583 Oh, uh, sure. 1342 01:17:30,666 --> 01:17:33,125 Wrong answer, hot rod. 1343 01:17:33,208 --> 01:17:35,500 You think I'll let you drink and drive with my daughter? 1344 01:17:36,250 --> 01:17:38,708 Oh, well, I'm actually not driving. We're taking a Lyft. 1345 01:17:38,791 --> 01:17:40,375 Oh, cool. 1346 01:17:41,416 --> 01:17:44,916 Though I suspect Stephanie would prefer not to spend her prom evening 1347 01:17:45,000 --> 01:17:46,250 with a drunken fool. 1348 01:17:46,333 --> 01:17:47,666 It would just be the o-- 1349 01:17:47,750 --> 01:17:50,750 No, I think I'm okay, actually. I'll maybe have a water, if anything. 1350 01:17:50,833 --> 01:17:52,750 -Did you bring some condoms? 1351 01:17:54,375 --> 01:17:56,083 Um, no. 1352 01:17:56,166 --> 01:18:00,083 Hm. Didn't think we needed to have this talk, but, uh, Seth, 1353 01:18:00,166 --> 01:18:04,208 you are aware that unprotected sex can lead to geriatric pregnancies? 1354 01:18:04,291 --> 01:18:06,291 -Stephie! -You ready to be an old dad? 1355 01:18:06,375 --> 01:18:08,750 I'm sorry, do you want me to sleep with your daughter? 1356 01:18:08,833 --> 01:18:10,333 -Or-- -What did you just ask me? 1357 01:18:10,416 --> 01:18:12,333 -It's-- -Okay, I'm ready! 1358 01:18:24,333 --> 01:18:26,291 Mom chose great. 1359 01:18:26,875 --> 01:18:28,083 Yeah. 1360 01:18:29,541 --> 01:18:31,875 -Going to prom. 1361 01:18:31,958 --> 01:18:34,375 -Oh my God. Dad, stop it. -Don't. 1362 01:18:34,458 --> 01:18:38,083 Dad, stop it. You're embarrassing me. 1363 01:18:38,166 --> 01:18:39,708 A bit higher on the angle. 1364 01:18:39,791 --> 01:18:42,375 Dad, you're taking so many, but take more, take more. 1365 01:18:43,041 --> 01:18:44,416 -Boy band. 1366 01:18:44,500 --> 01:18:45,750 Okay, Dad, that's enough. 1367 01:18:45,833 --> 01:18:46,916 -Maybe just some of me? -Oh. 1368 01:19:03,916 --> 01:19:06,291 This is such a perfect night. 1369 01:19:06,375 --> 01:19:07,875 -Yeah. -That filthy ho. 1370 01:19:07,958 --> 01:19:11,625 -She's rigging the election. -She's an adult. She won't stoop that low. 1371 01:19:13,333 --> 01:19:14,166 Wait. 1372 01:19:16,041 --> 01:19:17,791 Hey, Tiffany. 1373 01:19:17,875 --> 01:19:19,708 -Oh my gosh. -Hey, Steph! 1374 01:19:19,791 --> 01:19:21,000 I'm surprised you're here. 1375 01:19:21,083 --> 01:19:24,875 Aren't you normally on a Saturday night just home sharpening your teeth? 1376 01:19:25,750 --> 01:19:27,583 You know, I just want to say 1377 01:19:27,666 --> 01:19:31,583 the noble thing would be to do what the rest of these students are doing 1378 01:19:31,666 --> 01:19:33,708 and vote for Bri. 1379 01:19:33,791 --> 01:19:35,083 Oh. 1380 01:19:35,166 --> 01:19:36,625 -Is that right? -Mm-hmm. 1381 01:19:36,708 --> 01:19:40,208 Well, I always do the noble thing. 1382 01:19:40,916 --> 01:19:43,916 Vote for Bri. Is it spelled like the cheese? 1383 01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:46,250 B, R, I. 1384 01:19:46,333 --> 01:19:47,166 Hmm. 1385 01:19:48,250 --> 01:19:49,208 Interesting. 1386 01:19:50,708 --> 01:19:51,541 Ooh. 1387 01:19:51,625 --> 01:19:52,875 Yep. Right in there. 1388 01:19:52,958 --> 01:19:53,958 There. 1389 01:19:56,166 --> 01:19:57,875 I'm just so confident. 1390 01:20:01,333 --> 01:20:03,833 -Just vote for me. -Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 1391 01:20:03,916 --> 01:20:05,458 Sethany. 1392 01:20:06,791 --> 01:20:09,208 You know you're not eligible for prom queen, right? 1393 01:20:09,291 --> 01:20:12,500 That's right, I'm not. I'm not eligible for prom queen. 1394 01:20:12,583 --> 01:20:15,291 And it's probably killing you that you aren't either. 1395 01:20:16,416 --> 01:20:17,625 Relax, Tiff. 1396 01:20:18,125 --> 01:20:19,375 I'm just joking. 1397 01:20:21,000 --> 01:20:23,791 -That's funny. -It's funny. It was a joke. Yeah. 1398 01:20:23,875 --> 01:20:25,750 -It was a joke. 1399 01:20:26,375 --> 01:20:27,625 She's going down. 1400 01:20:29,041 --> 01:20:30,791 Bye. 1401 01:20:40,125 --> 01:20:43,291 -Oh my God, it's beautiful. -Mm-hmm. 1402 01:20:43,375 --> 01:20:45,166 Oh my God, Steph! There you are! 1403 01:20:45,250 --> 01:20:49,833 -Oh, you guys look incredible. Amazing! -Thanks. Wanna go crush the photo booth? 1404 01:20:49,916 --> 01:20:52,166 Oh my God, stop. You're causing climate change. 1405 01:20:52,250 --> 01:20:55,958 Um, I've got to go and get some votes. I don't know whether you guys saw, 1406 01:20:56,041 --> 01:20:59,125 but Bri's mom is, like, totally trying to rig the election. 1407 01:20:59,208 --> 01:21:01,166 Oh! Oh, hell, no! 1408 01:21:01,250 --> 01:21:03,333 I will not stand for voter suppression. 1409 01:21:03,416 --> 01:21:06,291 -We're gonna go help spread the word. -Storm the cafeteria. 1410 01:21:06,375 --> 01:21:07,375 -Bye. -See you later? 1411 01:21:07,458 --> 01:21:09,291 Everyone feeling included? Okay. 1412 01:21:09,375 --> 01:21:11,833 There's enough room on the dance floor for everybody, 1413 01:21:11,916 --> 01:21:16,000 and you don't need a partner to dance. I usually dance by myself. It's fun. 1414 01:21:22,041 --> 01:21:26,750 Baby, look at me. You know, this is the dress I won prom queen in. Still fits. 1415 01:21:26,833 --> 01:21:28,875 I almost wore that exact same dress, 1416 01:21:28,958 --> 01:21:30,958 but I'm glad I didn't because you look phenomenal. 1417 01:21:31,041 --> 01:21:32,666 -Aw. -What are you doing? 1418 01:21:32,750 --> 01:21:36,791 I am fulfilling my duties as the president of the PTA, 1419 01:21:36,875 --> 01:21:39,041 overlooking the ballot boxes, 1420 01:21:39,125 --> 01:21:43,708 and something tells me that you got this in the bag. 1421 01:21:43,791 --> 01:21:44,750 Wink. 1422 01:21:45,541 --> 01:21:49,000 I mean, you can't be a woke prom queen if you lose. 1423 01:21:49,083 --> 01:21:51,541 Which reminds me, here is a list of brands 1424 01:21:51,625 --> 01:21:54,708 I'd love for you to casually drop during your acceptance speech. 1425 01:21:54,791 --> 01:21:57,416 Each one could be an additional 10K. 1426 01:21:57,500 --> 01:22:01,041 Don't worry if you can't work in Pep Boys. It's not really our thing. 1427 01:22:01,125 --> 01:22:05,333 Please just try and remember this is my prom, not yours. 1428 01:22:12,875 --> 01:22:14,500 -Hey, fam. 1429 01:22:14,583 --> 01:22:18,958 Um, guys, just letting you know that prom queen voting is still open, 1430 01:22:19,041 --> 01:22:20,458 and I think that something-- 1431 01:22:20,541 --> 01:22:21,875 Damn, Conway, you look… 1432 01:22:21,958 --> 01:22:24,416 -…banging. 1433 01:22:25,375 --> 01:22:27,625 Oh my God, you're here. I mean, um… 1434 01:22:29,375 --> 01:22:30,208 You came. 1435 01:22:30,291 --> 01:22:34,666 Of course, I came. I've been waiting 20 years to see you in this dress. 1436 01:22:36,541 --> 01:22:38,166 My God, you look beautiful. 1437 01:22:39,000 --> 01:22:41,708 What is this? You mind if I slip this off? 1438 01:22:41,791 --> 01:22:43,583 -Um-- -You really don't need it. 1439 01:22:44,333 --> 01:22:46,625 I still have a naughty thing for prom queens, right? 1440 01:22:46,708 --> 01:22:50,416 Well, If I don't get enough votes, you might be fucking your daughter. 1441 01:22:50,500 --> 01:22:51,583 Huh? 1442 01:22:51,666 --> 01:22:55,375 -No, I wouldn't do that, but… -No. Obviously. Sorry. Yeah. 1443 01:22:55,458 --> 01:22:56,666 Look at us. We are… 1444 01:22:57,875 --> 01:23:00,666 We're meant to be together. We're perfect together. Admit it. 1445 01:23:01,375 --> 01:23:02,833 We're made for one another. 1446 01:23:03,375 --> 01:23:04,291 -Blaine? -Yeah. 1447 01:23:04,375 --> 01:23:06,291 I don't think this is right. This is a mistake. 1448 01:23:06,375 --> 01:23:08,750 No, no. The mistake was me asking Tiff to prom. Trust me. 1449 01:23:08,833 --> 01:23:10,666 Wait. No, Blaine. Seriously. 1450 01:23:15,583 --> 01:23:16,583 Seth. 1451 01:23:16,666 --> 01:23:17,541 Seth? 1452 01:23:19,500 --> 01:23:22,416 Hey, Seth. Seth, hey! I know what that looked like, 1453 01:23:22,500 --> 01:23:24,500 but I promise you, it's not what you think. 1454 01:23:26,791 --> 01:23:28,541 You teenage-tricked me, Steph. 1455 01:23:29,291 --> 01:23:33,166 And you know what? It's my fault for believing you changed. 1456 01:23:35,375 --> 01:23:39,875 Okay, class of 2022, it's the big moment! 1457 01:23:39,958 --> 01:23:44,166 Okay, so the reason that we're all here and the only reason we all came tonight… 1458 01:23:44,250 --> 01:23:46,166 -No. -…is because-- No, it is. 1459 01:23:46,250 --> 01:23:51,708 …is because I have the results of our prom elections. 1460 01:23:55,125 --> 01:23:59,250 By a unanimous vote, our 2022 prom king is 1461 01:24:00,166 --> 01:24:01,583 Lance Harrison. 1462 01:24:08,625 --> 01:24:09,916 Yes! 1463 01:24:11,291 --> 01:24:13,250 Oh my God! 1464 01:24:13,916 --> 01:24:18,083 And the winner of prom queen received over 1,000 votes 1465 01:24:18,166 --> 01:24:21,583 despite there only being 327 of you. 1466 01:24:21,666 --> 01:24:23,708 However, she has just informed us 1467 01:24:23,791 --> 01:24:26,541 that she has withdrawn from the competition. 1468 01:24:26,625 --> 01:24:27,625 What? 1469 01:24:29,000 --> 01:24:31,541 -Okay, so… -Bri. 1470 01:24:31,625 --> 01:24:34,500 …the 2022 prom queen will go to… 1471 01:24:37,458 --> 01:24:38,916 Stephanie Conway. 1472 01:24:48,458 --> 01:24:50,375 There's been a mistake. No, no, no. 1473 01:24:52,083 --> 01:24:54,541 -Go, Steph! I can't believe it! 1474 01:24:55,625 --> 01:24:56,458 God! 1475 01:24:56,541 --> 01:25:01,541 Stephanie! Stephanie! Stephanie! Stephanie! 1476 01:25:01,625 --> 01:25:03,041 Stephanie! 1477 01:25:03,125 --> 01:25:04,416 Stephanie! 1478 01:25:04,500 --> 01:25:05,500 No! No! 1479 01:25:05,583 --> 01:25:08,791 Stephanie! Stephanie! Stephanie! Stephanie! 1480 01:25:21,416 --> 01:25:25,833 Now it is time for our king and queen to take their dance. 1481 01:25:32,458 --> 01:25:35,750 -Oh my God! 1482 01:26:32,625 --> 01:26:34,583 -Oh my God! -What? 1483 01:26:40,166 --> 01:26:41,250 Stop. 1484 01:27:19,958 --> 01:27:23,583 After-party at Bri's house with live music. 1485 01:27:23,666 --> 01:27:28,125 And spoiler alert, party favors are Beats by Dre headphones! 1486 01:27:28,916 --> 01:27:30,833 Bri, will you tell them? 1487 01:27:30,916 --> 01:27:34,750 Hey, everyone, after-party is at Steph's place. See you there. 1488 01:27:34,833 --> 01:27:37,791 Wait, what are you doing? The house is ready for the party. 1489 01:27:37,875 --> 01:27:41,500 I mean, Steve Aoki is in our living room. What am I going to tell him? 1490 01:27:41,583 --> 01:27:44,250 I don't know. Tell him you lost prom queen. 1491 01:27:47,333 --> 01:27:48,708 Shit. Shit. 1492 01:27:58,208 --> 01:28:01,250 Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! 1493 01:28:01,333 --> 01:28:02,541 No! 1494 01:28:06,833 --> 01:28:10,625 Yes, hi. I'd like to report a rowdy high school party 1495 01:28:10,708 --> 01:28:13,000 with tons of underage drinking. 1496 01:28:13,583 --> 01:28:15,000 And-- Oh my God! 1497 01:28:15,750 --> 01:28:18,333 I think an adult is hosting it. 1498 01:28:27,291 --> 01:28:28,125 Yeah! 1499 01:28:28,625 --> 01:28:29,791 Hey! 1500 01:28:29,875 --> 01:28:30,750 Hey, Janet! 1501 01:28:31,333 --> 01:28:32,208 Come on! 1502 01:28:32,291 --> 01:28:34,125 -No, don't film me! -Why? 1503 01:28:34,208 --> 01:28:36,500 The media will use it to try and discredit me. 1504 01:28:39,833 --> 01:28:40,666 Wait, no. 1505 01:28:40,750 --> 01:28:43,291 -Fuck it! Fuck it! Film me! Film me! -Okay. Okay. 1506 01:28:43,375 --> 01:28:47,208 Yeah, come on, yeah. That's right. It's the president, bitch! 1507 01:28:47,291 --> 01:28:49,208 -Yeah! -Suck my vulva! 1508 01:28:56,000 --> 01:28:58,166 Oh my God, whose tooth is this? 1509 01:28:58,250 --> 01:28:59,541 -Oh shit. 1510 01:28:59,625 --> 01:29:01,125 Cops! 1511 01:29:02,750 --> 01:29:05,625 -Where? Wait. Okay, wait-- -Bye, Stephanie. 1512 01:29:05,708 --> 01:29:07,291 No. Oh my God. 1513 01:29:23,875 --> 01:29:27,041 Oh my God, Martha, I was just about to call you. 1514 01:29:27,125 --> 01:29:31,166 Steph, what in ever living fuck were you thinking? 1515 01:29:32,291 --> 01:29:36,083 -You said I could use the house. -Are you kidding? Twenty years ago. 1516 01:29:36,166 --> 01:29:39,166 And even then, I didn't want you to use it. 1517 01:29:39,250 --> 01:29:42,041 -Did you even think about me? 1518 01:29:42,125 --> 01:29:44,666 This is all kinds of illegal. 1519 01:29:44,750 --> 01:29:47,333 Oh my God, they're gonna make a Netflix documentary about me. 1520 01:29:47,416 --> 01:29:50,791 Well, wait. Okay, think about that. That could be really cool. 1521 01:29:50,875 --> 01:29:52,791 That… that could be epic. 1522 01:29:52,875 --> 01:29:54,916 Look how well it turned out for Tiger King. 1523 01:29:55,000 --> 01:29:56,041 No. 1524 01:29:56,125 --> 01:30:00,166 No, it's not epic or cool. 1525 01:30:00,250 --> 01:30:02,416 God, you're the same as in high school. 1526 01:30:03,000 --> 01:30:05,708 -So you don't want a drink? -No, I don't want a drink! 1527 01:30:06,625 --> 01:30:08,333 You need to grow up! 1528 01:30:08,916 --> 01:30:10,250 You're not a teenager! 1529 01:30:10,333 --> 01:30:13,833 I know I'm not. I'm an adult. Is that what you want to hear? 1530 01:30:14,333 --> 01:30:18,000 Yes, I am a 37-year-old 12th grader. 1531 01:30:21,000 --> 01:30:25,541 You don't think I know how crazy it is going back to high school in this body? 1532 01:30:26,291 --> 01:30:29,083 What else was I supposed to do? 1533 01:30:29,166 --> 01:30:32,375 -What else did I have? -You had me, and you had Seth. 1534 01:30:32,958 --> 01:30:35,708 Everybody else just got to go on and live their lives. 1535 01:30:35,791 --> 01:30:37,583 I'm supposed to just jump forward? 1536 01:30:37,666 --> 01:30:40,750 I'm just not allowed to ever make mistakes? 1537 01:30:40,833 --> 01:30:43,166 Making mistakes is different 1538 01:30:43,250 --> 01:30:46,125 than willfully screwing over the people who care about you. 1539 01:30:47,208 --> 01:30:48,708 You pushed us away. 1540 01:30:49,625 --> 01:30:52,708 They were not your friends. We were your friends. 1541 01:30:53,333 --> 01:30:55,250 We were the ones who cared about you. 1542 01:30:55,333 --> 01:30:57,458 We were the ones who showed up at the hospital. 1543 01:30:57,541 --> 01:30:59,375 They never came to the hospital. None of them. 1544 01:30:59,458 --> 01:31:01,541 I can't believe you would say that. 1545 01:31:02,333 --> 01:31:04,291 I got tons of birthday cards. 1546 01:31:04,375 --> 01:31:06,291 Did you even look to see who they were from? 1547 01:31:11,583 --> 01:31:13,750 Help. Oh God. 1548 01:31:14,375 --> 01:31:15,458 Was that curry? 1549 01:31:15,541 --> 01:31:17,708 I'm done. You can find your own way home. 1550 01:31:22,958 --> 01:31:24,166 Hey, Seth. 1551 01:31:32,416 --> 01:31:33,583 Finally. 1552 01:31:33,666 --> 01:31:35,666 I saw you followed Stephanie on Insta. 1553 01:31:35,750 --> 01:31:39,166 Don't you wanna know if I got arrested at that party you called the cops on? 1554 01:31:39,250 --> 01:31:40,166 I know it was you. 1555 01:31:40,250 --> 01:31:44,000 Do you think I do this stuff for fun? I'm looking out for you. 1556 01:31:44,083 --> 01:31:46,125 We could have made a hundred grand tonight. 1557 01:31:46,208 --> 01:31:49,208 We could've used that money as a donation to get you into college. 1558 01:31:49,291 --> 01:31:51,708 So you could blog about being an Ivy League mom? 1559 01:31:51,791 --> 01:31:54,083 Oh well, I guess I'll have to get in myself. 1560 01:31:54,166 --> 01:31:57,500 I want you to have the perfect life, 1561 01:31:58,083 --> 01:31:58,916 like me. 1562 01:31:59,500 --> 01:32:02,708 The perfect life online means nothing when you're miserable in real life. 1563 01:32:02,791 --> 01:32:05,166 We are not miserable. 1564 01:32:05,250 --> 01:32:06,125 Yeah, we are. 1565 01:32:07,250 --> 01:32:09,583 And you're right, Mom. 1566 01:32:09,666 --> 01:32:12,416 No elite person follows more than 100 people. 1567 01:32:13,041 --> 01:32:14,666 So you gotta go. 1568 01:32:14,750 --> 01:32:17,333 -You are toast. 1569 01:32:17,416 --> 01:32:18,875 Hey, your family's fucked up. 1570 01:32:18,958 --> 01:32:21,333 Are we doing this? I got another gig in an hour. 1571 01:32:21,416 --> 01:32:23,791 You know what? Fuck you, Steve Aoki. 1572 01:32:32,500 --> 01:32:34,875 No offense, but you look like a prom queen. 1573 01:32:38,208 --> 01:32:40,791 Holy shit, Deanna Russo? 1574 01:32:41,833 --> 01:32:44,041 Yeah. Do we know each other? 1575 01:32:44,541 --> 01:32:47,708 Oh my God. No. I… I mean… Well, I know who you are. 1576 01:32:47,791 --> 01:32:49,541 You're a legend at Harding High. 1577 01:32:49,625 --> 01:32:51,750 You won prom queen and had a perfect life. 1578 01:32:51,833 --> 01:32:53,500 Perfect life? 1579 01:32:54,250 --> 01:32:57,208 Yeah. Uh, let's see, um… 1580 01:32:57,291 --> 01:33:01,500 I was divorced before I was 30 when my husband left me 1581 01:33:01,583 --> 01:33:05,666 for a 21-year-old barista with two more abs than I had. 1582 01:33:05,750 --> 01:33:10,541 And I was left with no credit and no job prospects. 1583 01:33:11,416 --> 01:33:14,500 My advice, throw that crown away now. 1584 01:33:15,083 --> 01:33:16,666 You know what prom queen got me? 1585 01:33:16,750 --> 01:33:18,416 An even spray tan 1586 01:33:18,500 --> 01:33:22,375 and the ability to dodge bleach poisoning every time I get my hair done. 1587 01:33:22,458 --> 01:33:24,250 Well, I mean, that is a skill. 1588 01:33:25,541 --> 01:33:26,416 Yeah. 1589 01:33:27,083 --> 01:33:33,666 But, uh, imagine all the other skills I would have had if I'd gone to college. 1590 01:33:33,750 --> 01:33:35,500 I don't know where I would be, 1591 01:33:36,041 --> 01:33:39,208 but I do know it wouldn't be taking courses at the community college 1592 01:33:39,291 --> 01:33:42,375 while hustling to make rent between two jobs. 1593 01:33:42,458 --> 01:33:46,458 The only thing I look forward to is taking my pants off at night. 1594 01:33:46,541 --> 01:33:48,250 Oh my God. I do that too now. 1595 01:33:48,333 --> 01:33:50,708 -It's so good, right? -Yeah. Just like… 1596 01:33:50,791 --> 01:33:53,375 -Yeah. 1597 01:33:53,458 --> 01:33:57,583 But it's all worth it 'cause I am going to get a degree, 1598 01:33:57,666 --> 01:34:02,166 and I am going to have a career, and that is everything. 1599 01:34:02,750 --> 01:34:06,708 And for the first time in my life, I'm excited about the future 1600 01:34:07,291 --> 01:34:09,416 instead of holding on to the past. 1601 01:34:38,750 --> 01:34:42,666 Please welcome our award-winning Harding Bulldogettes! 1602 01:35:22,750 --> 01:35:24,500 Oh. There you are. 1603 01:35:25,750 --> 01:35:27,000 Is everything okay? 1604 01:35:28,250 --> 01:35:29,208 Want something to eat? 1605 01:35:30,291 --> 01:35:31,291 I'm not hungry. 1606 01:35:31,375 --> 01:35:34,125 Oh, come on. Sit down with me. Have breakfast with your old dad. 1607 01:35:39,708 --> 01:35:42,625 Do you know where you're sitting at graduation yet? 1608 01:35:43,833 --> 01:35:44,708 On my butt? 1609 01:35:47,416 --> 01:35:49,458 I just wanna get a good seat so I can see you. 1610 01:35:51,875 --> 01:35:53,708 I'm not gonna go to graduation, Dad. 1611 01:35:53,791 --> 01:35:55,458 Seth and Martha won't talk to me, 1612 01:35:55,541 --> 01:35:57,791 and I don't think anybody else wants me there. 1613 01:35:57,875 --> 01:35:59,208 Well, I want you there. 1614 01:35:59,791 --> 01:36:00,833 That doesn't count. 1615 01:36:01,416 --> 01:36:02,333 Yes, it does. 1616 01:36:03,958 --> 01:36:05,083 I count. 1617 01:36:06,041 --> 01:36:10,083 I know you used to roll your eyes whenever Mom would compliment you, 1618 01:36:11,000 --> 01:36:14,041 tell you how amazing, beautiful, wonderful you were, 1619 01:36:14,625 --> 01:36:16,750 like she had to say it 'cause she was Mom, 1620 01:36:18,291 --> 01:36:19,750 but she wanted to 1621 01:36:20,416 --> 01:36:22,666 because she believed it, deeply. 1622 01:36:25,083 --> 01:36:28,041 One of the last things she said to me was to make sure 1623 01:36:28,833 --> 01:36:31,291 that you knew how to receive love. 1624 01:36:32,083 --> 01:36:35,916 And I spent every day of your coma wondering if I messed up, 1625 01:36:36,000 --> 01:36:39,250 so… let me be clear. 1626 01:36:41,208 --> 01:36:45,166 Don't waste your time telling the people who love you the most 1627 01:36:45,250 --> 01:36:46,666 that they don't count. 1628 01:36:47,625 --> 01:36:50,125 They are the only ones that count. 1629 01:36:53,208 --> 01:36:54,250 Thanks, Dad. 1630 01:36:55,583 --> 01:36:56,458 Yeah. 1631 01:37:01,833 --> 01:37:05,250 Okay, I know I have some things to clear up, so… 1632 01:37:07,041 --> 01:37:09,125 I thought this is gonna be the best way. 1633 01:37:09,208 --> 01:37:12,958 Guys, I fucked up. And I really need to apologize. 1634 01:37:13,041 --> 01:37:15,916 First of all, I've been a really dodgy friend 1635 01:37:16,000 --> 01:37:18,583 to the two people who care about me the most, 1636 01:37:18,666 --> 01:37:23,291 the people who supported me when I was just that dorky kid fresh from Australia, 1637 01:37:24,041 --> 01:37:28,500 the ones who stayed by my side, even when I majorly neglected them, 1638 01:37:29,416 --> 01:37:32,666 the ones who, for some reason, never gave up on me. 1639 01:37:32,750 --> 01:37:36,500 It doesn't matter who has the most friends or likes or followers. 1640 01:37:36,583 --> 01:37:38,958 If you just have one or two great friends 1641 01:37:39,041 --> 01:37:41,875 who will support you even when you're being a butt slut, 1642 01:37:41,958 --> 01:37:43,375 then you've got it all. 1643 01:37:44,166 --> 01:37:46,333 And that is something worth fighting for, 1644 01:37:46,416 --> 01:37:48,416 so fuck what other people think. 1645 01:37:48,500 --> 01:37:51,958 Yeah, like, fuck being popular. Fuck being cool. 1646 01:37:52,041 --> 01:37:53,625 Fuck it in the ass. 1647 01:37:53,708 --> 01:37:55,333 Stephie, language. 1648 01:37:55,958 --> 01:37:59,708 I never planned on taking two decades to graduate, obvi, 1649 01:37:59,791 --> 01:38:02,666 but the class of 2022 showed me something that 1650 01:38:02,750 --> 01:38:05,333 I could never have learned when I was in high school the first time. 1651 01:38:05,416 --> 01:38:06,833 We have a school archive! 1652 01:38:07,500 --> 01:38:12,666 And that is every single one of us is so unique, and that's awesome. 1653 01:38:12,750 --> 01:38:15,041 Why fit in when you can stand out? 1654 01:38:15,916 --> 01:38:19,416 And so, okay, now I'm gonna do something 1655 01:38:19,500 --> 01:38:22,458 that I wish I had the confidence to do 20 years ago, 1656 01:38:23,083 --> 01:38:25,083 and that is being my real self. 1657 01:38:25,750 --> 01:38:28,958 And yeah, I'm still afraid that if I show everyone my real self, 1658 01:38:29,041 --> 01:38:30,916 the wrong people will make fun of me. 1659 01:38:31,416 --> 01:38:34,041 But it's the only way for the right people to see me. 1660 01:38:36,000 --> 01:38:38,125 And they're the ones I care about the most. 1661 01:38:40,875 --> 01:38:44,458 They're the ones I want, more than anything, to forgive me. 1662 01:38:56,833 --> 01:38:59,541 Dad, stop. Stop it. 1663 01:38:59,625 --> 01:39:00,916 That's it. 1664 01:39:01,833 --> 01:39:03,416 Dad, just stop it! Press stop. 1665 01:39:03,500 --> 01:39:05,250 -Sorry. 1666 01:39:05,333 --> 01:39:06,875 That was beautiful. 1667 01:39:09,625 --> 01:39:10,458 Tiff. 1668 01:39:10,541 --> 01:39:15,500 My daughter won't, um, unblock me unless… 1669 01:39:16,958 --> 01:39:18,250 I came to apologize to you. 1670 01:39:19,333 --> 01:39:21,041 -Seriously? -So… 1671 01:39:21,125 --> 01:39:22,000 Um… 1672 01:39:23,083 --> 01:39:26,208 I am sorry for everything I've done 1673 01:39:27,083 --> 01:39:31,208 and for treating you like human garbage all these years. 1674 01:39:31,291 --> 01:39:34,166 Tiff, I'm not the one you should be trying to make things right with. 1675 01:39:34,875 --> 01:39:37,125 You and Blaine have an awesome daughter 1676 01:39:37,208 --> 01:39:41,458 who's so smart and way cooler than what you and I ever were. 1677 01:39:43,291 --> 01:39:44,958 Stop competing with her. 1678 01:39:45,541 --> 01:39:47,458 There's enough room for both of you. 1679 01:39:48,083 --> 01:39:50,000 There's enough room for all of us. 1680 01:39:50,500 --> 01:39:52,458 We don't need to fight with each other. 1681 01:39:53,791 --> 01:39:54,625 You're right. 1682 01:39:55,458 --> 01:39:59,000 I am really sorry, Stephanie, 1683 01:39:59,750 --> 01:40:00,708 for… 1684 01:40:02,708 --> 01:40:03,541 everything. 1685 01:40:06,416 --> 01:40:07,291 Yeah. 1686 01:40:09,000 --> 01:40:10,541 Apology accepted. 1687 01:40:13,500 --> 01:40:14,958 -Okay. -Tiff, wait, um… 1688 01:40:15,750 --> 01:40:18,375 I never let a guest leave without a gift. 1689 01:40:19,750 --> 01:40:21,166 -Hang on. -That is… 1690 01:40:21,250 --> 01:40:24,083 -Just wait… wait one second. -…so cute. 1691 01:40:27,458 --> 01:40:28,500 That's for you. 1692 01:40:32,375 --> 01:40:34,791 -Thank you so much. Thank you. -Thanks for coming over. 1693 01:40:34,875 --> 01:40:36,416 Lance Harrison. 1694 01:40:39,250 --> 01:40:40,916 Oh my God. 1695 01:40:46,583 --> 01:40:49,791 -I just wanna say thanks to my grandma-- -No, no, no, no. 1696 01:40:49,875 --> 01:40:52,833 Just so everybody knows, nobody else do that. Okay. 1697 01:40:53,333 --> 01:40:55,500 Britney Jean Balbo. 1698 01:40:59,375 --> 01:41:01,208 -Yes, Bri! -Go, baby! 1699 01:41:01,291 --> 01:41:02,333 Go, Bri! 1700 01:41:09,166 --> 01:41:11,500 Stephanie Marie Conway. 1701 01:41:13,416 --> 01:41:15,583 That's my daughter! 1702 01:41:23,625 --> 01:41:24,875 Um, oh… 1703 01:41:25,666 --> 01:41:28,666 Here. To pay for all the damage at the lake house. 1704 01:41:28,750 --> 01:41:30,125 Where did you get this from? 1705 01:41:30,208 --> 01:41:32,625 I sold the Cabriolet. Time to grow up. 1706 01:41:33,208 --> 01:41:35,458 Aw. 1707 01:41:35,541 --> 01:41:36,958 I am so proud of you. 1708 01:41:37,041 --> 01:41:38,166 Aw, thanks, Marth. 1709 01:41:39,000 --> 01:41:40,541 I'm so lucky to have you as a friend. 1710 01:41:48,375 --> 01:41:49,333 Congrats, Steph. 1711 01:41:50,000 --> 01:41:50,833 Thanks. 1712 01:41:50,916 --> 01:41:53,333 Now, to end our ceremony, I'd like to invite 1713 01:41:53,416 --> 01:41:57,666 our 2022 class valedictorian, Janet Singh. 1714 01:42:00,166 --> 01:42:01,833 -After you. -Thank you! 1715 01:42:05,083 --> 01:42:06,250 Go, Janet! 1716 01:42:08,583 --> 01:42:10,208 Okay, listen up. 1717 01:42:10,291 --> 01:42:14,375 It is hot as hell, and this ceremony is way too long. 1718 01:42:14,458 --> 01:42:16,666 So I'm just gonna say one thing. 1719 01:42:16,750 --> 01:42:19,791 Who you are in high school doesn't define you. 1720 01:42:20,666 --> 01:42:23,166 And I would also like to officially announce 1721 01:42:23,250 --> 01:42:25,583 my campaign for US president. 1722 01:42:25,666 --> 01:42:27,583 Vote for me in 2040. 1723 01:42:28,125 --> 01:42:29,125 Yay! 1724 01:42:32,166 --> 01:42:35,916 And lastly, I have one question for all of you. 1725 01:42:37,000 --> 01:42:38,958 -Are you ready… 1726 01:42:39,041 --> 01:42:40,791 -…for the Harding… 1727 01:42:41,916 --> 01:42:44,000 -…Bulldogettes? 1728 01:42:50,875 --> 01:42:53,833 No way. Stephanie's Dance Grooves? 1729 01:43:24,666 --> 01:43:25,958 -Ready? -Okay! 1730 01:43:33,125 --> 01:43:34,291 -Strong arms! 1731 01:43:43,541 --> 01:43:46,083 Okay, I have to go. 1732 01:43:46,958 --> 01:43:50,583 -Kelly Clarkson! 1733 01:45:01,750 --> 01:45:04,583 Oh my God! Oh my God! 1734 01:45:08,125 --> 01:45:11,250 Well, then, we should go out? 1735 01:45:12,000 --> 01:45:14,041 -No duh. 1736 01:46:33,791 --> 01:46:36,000 Who doesn't want a Hummer on their big night? 1737 01:46:36,083 --> 01:46:37,541 Not me. 1738 01:46:41,958 --> 01:46:44,875 -I love belly button play. 1739 01:46:44,958 --> 01:46:47,875 I really wanna get spit-roasted by two leather daddies. 1740 01:46:47,958 --> 01:46:50,875 Never before. I'm sex… sex nothing. 1741 01:46:50,958 --> 01:46:53,875 -Stop. -Okay, all righty. 1742 01:47:00,541 --> 01:47:01,750 -A-mark. 1743 01:47:01,833 --> 01:47:02,791 B-mark. 1744 01:47:08,000 --> 01:47:09,875 I'm making a love heart sign. 1745 01:47:11,458 --> 01:47:13,750 What am I doing? I'm just making a love heart. 1746 01:47:13,833 --> 01:47:15,625 Welcome to Book Corner with Sam Richardson. 1747 01:47:17,041 --> 01:47:18,291 -Oh. 1748 01:47:18,375 --> 01:47:19,666 Oppa Gangnam Style. 1749 01:47:19,750 --> 01:47:21,500 -Oppa. Oppa. -Oppa Gangnam Style. 1750 01:47:22,375 --> 01:47:23,333 Yeah, very fast. 1751 01:48:16,791 --> 01:48:21,208 I really do want to go to college. So what do I need to do? 1752 01:48:21,291 --> 01:48:24,708 I… I would do anything. I mean, not… 1753 01:48:24,791 --> 01:48:25,708 Oh. 1754 01:48:25,791 --> 01:48:29,708 Sorry, I just… Yeah, I… I meant… anything. 1755 01:48:31,125 --> 01:48:33,541 No, I didn't… Sorry. I didn't mean that. I meant… 1756 01:48:33,625 --> 01:48:36,666 Oh my God. I meant I will do anything… 1757 01:48:38,500 --> 01:48:40,291 -Oh my God. -…non-sexually. 1758 01:48:40,375 --> 01:48:44,875 Oh, good, good. Don't ever resort to that unless you have to. 1759 01:48:44,958 --> 01:48:47,666 And if that's what you wanna do with your life, then do it, 1760 01:48:47,750 --> 01:48:50,625 but don't do it with me. I'm terrible in bed.