1
00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:04,603
Let me explain. Turk and
Carla's marriage was in trouble
2
00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:06,838
because of some dumb stuff
Turk had done,
3
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:10,476
so last night, I took Carla out
to smooth things over.
4
00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:13,712
Long story short, we smooched.
5
00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:18,016
Sorry. Drunken accident.
6
00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:19,885
It was barely
more than a friend kiss,
7
00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:22,253
so we decided
not to tell Turk.
8
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:24,923
Or so I thought.
9
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,392
J.D. and I kissed.
10
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,428
Was it
a comfortable silence? No.
11
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,263
I'm not gonna be
the one who breaks it.
12
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:34,366
Unfortunately, I have one
of Rowdy's hairs in my mouth.
13
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,268
Uh-oh.
14
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:40,939
I guess there's a lot of things
that can knock you on your ass.
15
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,808
Like, for instance, when
your 17-year-old neighbor
16
00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:46,111
doesn't see you
as a smoking hottie anymore.
17
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:49,414
Oh, Pedro?
18
00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:51,917
I can't seem to find my pencil.
19
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:55,353
Do you have any idea
where it might be?
20
00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:57,656
It's right there between
your bosoms... ma'am.
21
00:00:57,757 --> 00:00:58,990
Ma'am?
22
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:02,227
You just ma'amed your way
out of me buying you beer again.
23
00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:05,497
Ma'am?
24
00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:11,002
And, of course, the one
thing you can always count on
25
00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:13,505
to knock you on your ass...
26
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:15,474
Floor wax.
27
00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:17,642
Uncanny.
28
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:19,344
Dr. Kelso, while I got you here,
29
00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:22,280
I need to discuss a hospital
matter of grave importance.
30
00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:25,049
- What is it?
- I'm not happy with my uniform.
31
00:01:25,152 --> 00:01:28,553
Ahh! New janitor uniforms!
Top priority.
32
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:31,256
Right up there with
silk jammies for the patients
33
00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:32,857
and a cat door for the ICU.
34
00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,326
I made some sketches.
35
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:37,262
This one has a cape!
36
00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:39,631
Gives me the option
of fighting crime.
37
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,300
After work, of course.
38
00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:45,036
Now, this one has sort of
a medieval thing goin'.
39
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,906
- That's you on a horse?
- It's a steed, sir.
40
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:51,676
That's for clean-ups
in outer space.
41
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:55,447
This one's...
outer space evening wear.
42
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,616
This one's just a kangaroo.
43
00:01:57,718 --> 00:01:59,551
Sometimes I draw kangaroos.
44
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:02,754
You know, I could look at
the demented crayon scratchings
45
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:06,457
of a madman all day,
but I got a hospital to run.
46
00:02:06,559 --> 00:02:10,161
- Did you wax over there yet?
- No, sir.
47
00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:12,564
Ahhh!
48
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:18,369
I'll get a new uniform, or I'll
wax everything in your world.
49
00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:21,373
Wait'll you
get a load of this.
50
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,875
They're giving me
a teaching award tonight,
51
00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:26,411
so I'm gonna need you
to holster up the twins,
52
00:02:26,513 --> 00:02:28,646
as you'll be playin'
the role of arm candy.
53
00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:31,816
Yeah, I'm not going. If I
wanna hear someone go on and on
54
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,120
about how great you are, I'll
just listen to you during sex.
55
00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:39,023
I'm hearing the hate, but I'm
not seeing the hate. You...
56
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:44,129
Oh, my God. Did you
Botox your face
57
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:45,997
into an expressionless mask?
58
00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:48,033
Pedro called me "ma'am."
59
00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:51,769
Damn it, Jordan, come on.
Now, you know I'm generally OK
60
00:02:51,871 --> 00:02:54,573
with you putting any poison
you want into your body,
61
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,109
but this is the first time
I've ever won anything.
62
00:02:57,211 --> 00:03:01,879
- It's not that bad.
- Really! Show me... happy.
63
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,349
Sad.
64
00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:09,621
Silly. Amused. Bemused. C-mused.
65
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:11,923
Show me... angry.
66
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,759
Ohhh! Ew!
67
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:17,396
You got angry down.
68
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:20,565
♪ I can't do this
all on my own ♪
69
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:25,003
♪ No, I know
I'm no Superman ♪
70
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,975
♪ I'm no Superman ♪
71
00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:33,879
When we got to work,
not a whole lot had changed.
72
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:35,547
The silence was killing me.
73
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:36,948
You kissed my wife.
74
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,883
I miss the silence.
75
00:03:38,985 --> 00:03:40,451
Did you like it?
76
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,153
Well, it's
kind of a trick question.
77
00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:44,188
I mean, if I say yes,
it's like I'm sayin',
78
00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:47,391
"Dude, your wife is hot, and I'd
like to get me some of that."
79
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:49,227
But if I say no,
then I'm all like,
80
00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:50,461
"I know she's your wife,
81
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,998
but you can keep
that fish-lipped bitty."
82
00:03:53,968 --> 00:03:56,268
What about you, Carla?
Did you like it?
83
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,302
No! His lips are chappy.
84
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,438
I can't use lip balm.
I end up eating it.
85
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:03,074
When I was little,
I used to spread it on crackers.
86
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:06,244
Ah! Well, if it isn't
the happy couple.
87
00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:08,146
Oh, and Turk's here too!
88
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:11,383
OK. Are we not laughing
about this yet?
89
00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:14,152
Turk, look, I'm so sorry,
but you have to believe me.
90
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,988
- It was barely anything.
- It was barely even a kiss.
91
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,524
It was an accidental lip bump,
like, "Oops."
92
00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:23,962
Ohh! Don't even look at her.
Sit on the floor!
93
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,697
- Sitting.
- Fine.
94
00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:28,366
I'll show you with Elliot.
95
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:34,706
Something wonderful
is happening.
96
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:37,609
I don't understand why you're
butting in on my patient
97
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:40,312
outside of your usual
arrogance and God complex.
98
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:42,914
Don't know what you're
talkin' about. Kiss my ring.
99
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:46,217
However, if you'd like to know
about why I'm "butting in,"
100
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,853
it's because your
young patient Lindsay here,
101
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:52,524
when she was 10, I'm the one
who diagnosed her with epilepsy.
102
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,493
Now that her medication's no
longer controlling her seizures,
103
00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:57,361
I'd like to know
what's going on.
104
00:04:57,463 --> 00:05:00,731
Besides, over the years,
we've developed quite a rapport.
105
00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:06,871
Hey. Lindsay.
What's up, girlfriend?
106
00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:11,777
See? Rapport.
107
00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:14,579
Ahh!
108
00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:17,748
The damn janitor
waxed the counter!
109
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:19,817
Give me that phone.
110
00:05:19,919 --> 00:05:23,154
It doesn't have
to be like this.
111
00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:25,891
I know.
112
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,592
Here.
113
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:37,202
It's beautiful.
114
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:40,638
You don't have to
put it on today, but...
115
00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:43,408
Hey, we're kinda in
the middle of something here!
116
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,477
This'll just take a second.
117
00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:53,551
Nice, huh?
118
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,921
Who gets a tattoo of a mop?
119
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,691
- Can I get up? My butt is asleep.
- No!
120
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,960
Turk, you know
how I was so upset
121
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,796
because you started
calling your ex-girlfriend?
122
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:09,167
I just couldn't understand how a
married person could slip up like that.
123
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:10,935
Now I do.
124
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:14,606
- I'm so sorry.
- Me too, buddy.
125
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,242
Guys... as insane
as this may sound,
126
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,845
I'm actually
gonna be OK with this.
127
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:22,381
Just do me a favor.
No more apologies.
128
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:23,982
And no more explanations.
129
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,584
And for the love of God, honey,
130
00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:28,486
no more girl-on-girl
kissing demonstrations.
131
00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:33,057
Something horrible
has happened.
132
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,660
I'll tell you why
Lindsay's seizures are back.
133
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,662
Blood work shows
her Dilantin's at zero.
134
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,064
She's not takin' her medicine.
135
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:41,666
What? I'm gonna
give that girl a talking to.
136
00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:44,703
With all due respect, Dr. Cox,
maybe I should talk to her.
137
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:47,972
With no due respect
whatsoever, why?
138
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,608
She's a teenage girl.
That's an awkward time.
139
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:54,179
You know, your breasts are
growing... not always symmetrically.
140
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,380
Um, you like boys.
One gives you a ride home.
141
00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:58,183
You think something'll happen,
142
00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:00,184
it doesn't,
and that makes it official
143
00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:01,653
that you're a lopsided freak!
144
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,955
Happy ending, though.
Lefty caught up in college.
145
00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,356
- Barbie!
- Yeah?
146
00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:07,725
I have a finite amount
of brain space,
147
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:09,261
and your inspiring story
148
00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:10,862
of the little breast
who couldn't
149
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:12,764
just pushed out my memory
150
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:16,168
of the 1980 Olympic hockey
team's victory at Lake Placid.
151
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:19,303
Miracle on ice...
gone.
152
00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:20,604
Listen to me carefully.
153
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:22,641
I know all about
what it's like
154
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:24,376
to be a teenage girl.
155
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:28,546
Of course, I never had
to try to convince my mother
156
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,715
that I sure would've
liked a naval ring.
157
00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:33,785
Well, we were all going to
Jamaica, and my friend Susie...
158
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,759
Brain space.
159
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,364
Turk. You've been so awesome,
160
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:49,500
but we still need you to know
how innocent the kiss was.
161
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,336
Guys, it's cool.
Don't worry about it.
162
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:53,571
Just watch, buddy.
163
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,341
See?
164
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:08,452
Ahh! Get your hands
off my woman!
165
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:12,924
Owww!
166
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,126
I think you separated
my shoulder.
167
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:18,229
The pain is excruciating.
168
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:21,299
What?
169
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:27,538
- Looking good, Janitor.
- Well, thank you, petite lady.
170
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,508
Wow! That color
really brings out your package.
171
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:33,478
Thank you,
supposedly straight surgeon.
172
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,447
It's a good day.
173
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:38,816
Hey, buddy!
That's a great suit!
174
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:41,586
Hey, don't bunch the new uni.
175
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:45,056
Little boy blue!
Blow your horn.
176
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,792
He didn't stop.
177
00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:51,095
Stop. This hallway's closed.
Find another way around.
178
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,630
Whatever.
You got somethin' here.
179
00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:53,965
What?
180
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,666
- What's that?
- I don't know.
181
00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:57,936
You look so cute
in your little blue outfit,
182
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,537
I wanted to give you a tickle.
183
00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:04,175
All right,
what the hell is goin' on?
184
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,212
Feel free to take notes.
All right, Blossom.
185
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:10,782
Here's the hot gossip.
You're having seizures again
186
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,817
because you're
not taking your medication.
187
00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:14,952
If this continues,
you will be dead.
188
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,787
I'm not talking
about the "Oh, my God,
189
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,656
if I don't get invited
to the prom,
190
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:21,726
I'm going to die" type of dead.
I'm talking "dead" dead. Clear?
191
00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:25,496
Because if it's not, I could, of
course, text you on my BlackBerry
192
00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:27,131
or my blueberry
or my Chuck Berry.
193
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,533
Technically,
Chuck Berry is a black Berry.
194
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:32,803
The point is, stop wasting
everybody's time and grow up.
195
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:36,574
- That clear to you, sweetheart?
- Yes, Dr. Cox.
196
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:40,411
Thattagirl. Barbie?
Feel free to kiss my ring.
197
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,014
It's nice when things
get back to normal.
198
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,416
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Carla.
199
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,252
You gotta try these
sweet potato fries. Amazing.
200
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:48,919
- Put some ketchup on it.
- You got it.
201
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,942
Like I said before,
small things
202
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:12,744
can knock you
on your ass.
203
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,248
Whether it's realizing that
nobody's afraid of you anymore.
204
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:21,753
Good Lord!
205
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,621
Or finding out
that you have no idea
206
00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:25,924
how to deal
with a teenage girl.
207
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,793
Nice work.
208
00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:33,664
The important thing is to not
make a scene in the cafeteria.
209
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,199
- Want another one?
- Ahh!
210
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,335
- Turk!
- What? What?
211
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:39,404
Were you gonna eat that?
How about this?
212
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:43,741
Let's all have fries, huh?
Let's all have fries!
213
00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:45,744
- You want fries?
- You said you were OK!
214
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,211
My fries!
215
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,246
Well, apparently,
I'm not OK, am I, Carla?
216
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,715
Apparently, I'm not!
217
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:54,084
You know why? Because kisses
just don't happen. They don't.
218
00:10:54,186 --> 00:10:57,889
Now, this is somebody's fault,
and I wanna know whose.
219
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,957
Huh?!
220
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:03,093
Don't eat that fry!
221
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,100
Admittedly, I lost my cool here.
222
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:11,969
- No, it's understandable.
- No! Why would you...?
223
00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:13,938
I'm sorry, the only way
I'm gonna have closure
224
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,906
is if I can blame
one of you guys.
225
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:19,143
I just gotta figure out who.
226
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:24,315
Don't worry, this'll
all be fine. You know Turk.
227
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:27,919
I mean, whomever he blames will get
the silent treatment for a couple days,
228
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,522
then he'll make snarky comments
for a few months.
229
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:32,924
Sooner or later,
he'll be laughing about it.
230
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,526
Like when I slept with
his family's cleaning lady.
231
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:37,262
You slept with Toonie?
232
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,096
I was staying
in their guest room,
233
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,800
she was buffing the nightstand,
and she just kept on buffin'.
234
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:45,536
- But hey, thanks for takin' the hit on this one.
- Me?! You're his best friend.
235
00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:49,240
All you have to do is say, "I'm
sorry," high-five him, and go, "Dahhh!"
236
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:51,342
All you do is have sex,
and he'll forgive you.
237
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,144
If I have sex with him,
he'll end up madder.
238
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,980
You know what? Let's not play
into his blame game.
239
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,948
Agreed.
240
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,784
Dude, she was pourin'
drinks into me,
241
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,087
and she knows I put
out when I'm drunk.
242
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:06,991
He took me to a bar.
243
00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:10,294
Ahhh!
244
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:13,664
I didn't ask him
to walk me home!
245
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:17,101
I'm tellin' you, dude, she was
all over me like ants on candy.
246
00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:21,239
You think you're talkin'
to Turk, don't you? Idiot.
247
00:12:22,708 --> 00:12:24,609
Look, Lindsay, I'm real sorry
248
00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,710
if I upset you before.
I truly am.
249
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:28,245
I probably should've asked you
250
00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:30,548
why you stopped
taking your medication,
251
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,083
and to be honest with you,
252
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:33,684
I was hoping you'd
be able to give me
253
00:12:33,786 --> 00:12:36,387
the answer to that one
right about now.
254
00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:41,359
So... Lindso...
255
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,461
It must be
kinda cool having
256
00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:46,364
the same name
as that Lindsay Lohan.
257
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,366
Gosh, she's super-cool.
258
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:51,936
Just between you, me and the IV,
I guess I've probably seen
259
00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:55,306
Confessions of a Teenage
Drama Queen, oh, I don't know,
260
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:58,142
three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine times.
261
00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:00,778
What a film.
262
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,714
Whoo!
263
00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:06,551
That girl...
That girl is a robot.
264
00:13:06,652 --> 00:13:09,120
I spent three hours in there
and got goose egg.
265
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:11,388
It's so odd that
she didn't respond to you,
266
00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:14,558
because you know
so much about teenage girls.
267
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:16,027
All right, look. Barbie,
268
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,163
I'm about to say four words
I've never said to you before,
269
00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:20,865
that I'll never say again.
270
00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:23,801
Go on, get outta here.
271
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:28,039
I need your help.
272
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,241
Fine. But I have three rules.
273
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:32,610
One, when we're in the room,
you say nothing.
274
00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:35,079
Two, I get to say
whatever I want about you.
275
00:13:35,181 --> 00:13:36,780
Three, if you break
rule one or two,
276
00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:38,816
I get to "boing" your curls.
277
00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:40,984
What the hell does "boing" mean?
278
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:45,055
Boing!
279
00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:47,925
Ha!
280
00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:50,227
Oh, God, this is gonna kill me.
281
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,298
All right,
just put on your mean face,
282
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,899
and order shall be restored.
283
00:13:58,304 --> 00:14:02,706
♪ Hello, world, here's a song
that we're singing ♪
284
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:05,175
Yeah, hi. Nut.
285
00:14:07,813 --> 00:14:09,714
What? I don't even know you.
286
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:18,155
♪ We'll make you happy ♪
287
00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:19,623
Yeah, yeah. Happy birthday.
288
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:23,461
♪ We'll make you happy ♪
289
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:24,896
You gave me a cursed uniform.
290
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:28,066
It's not cursed.
It's simply psychology.
291
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,233
I chose robin's-egg blue
292
00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:31,169
because it has
a calming effect on people,
293
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:33,670
and I knew it'd be
the thorn in your paw.
294
00:14:33,772 --> 00:14:35,906
Other colors evoke
different reactions.
295
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:40,044
For example, bright orange has
been found to provoke hostility.
296
00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:44,048
Dr. Kelso, I want to
thank you again for the tie.
297
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,417
Fist five!
298
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,153
Oww!
299
00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:51,622
That's the third time today!
300
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,525
Ahh!
301
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:58,829
Ah. Please don't make me
go to this banquet tonight.
302
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:01,499
Jordan, this award came
from my interns.
303
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,701
The least you can do
is show up and support me.
304
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,937
Uh, uh, uh...
Uh, uh!
305
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:10,274
And just like that, it was
time for the moment of truth.
306
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,710
- Hey, Turk.
- Hey, Turk.
307
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,112
What's up, J.D.?
308
00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:16,413
The silent treatment.
309
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:17,949
Be gracious.
310
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:22,453
I got three words for ya. Sucks
to be... Adding a fourth... you.
311
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,126
After sharing
a quick victory dance
312
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:30,861
with Roland,
the heavy-set orderly,
313
00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:33,698
who, coincidentally,
was my victory dance coach...
314
00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:34,798
- Pop the hips.
- OK.
315
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,500
- Pop the hips, J.D.
- There it is.
316
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:39,403
- Thanks, Roland. One day I'll get it.
- I doubt it.
317
00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:42,440
...I got to thinking
about relationships.
318
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:45,710
About how people
fall in love...
319
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,381
...have kids...
320
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:53,484
...grow old together...
321
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:56,788
...and say goodbye.
322
00:15:56,890 --> 00:16:00,725
And then, for some reason,
I thought about the circus.
323
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:04,128
But then I was
back on relationships.
324
00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:07,665
Back to your room, Mr. Johnson.
You got one ventricle.
325
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:10,234
I couldn't help thinking
maybe it wasn't luck
326
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:11,803
that made relationships last.
327
00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:14,505
Maybe it was a matter
of who takes fewer hits.
328
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,140
You don't have to talk to me.
329
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:20,812
Just wave if you're
gonna give me a ride home.
330
00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:24,849
And I realized I should've been
the one to take that hit, not Carla.
331
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,687
Hey, Lindsay.
332
00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:33,457
Oh, don't worry.
He's not allowed to talk.
333
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:34,825
Is that true?
334
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:37,695
You may nod.
335
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:40,898
- Mmm.
- Mm-mm. Bup, bup.
336
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:45,002
You know, Lindsay, when I
was 15, I cut my own bangs.
337
00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:48,239
Oh, that's right, Percival,
it's a high school hair story.
338
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,508
- Oh.
- Mm-hm.
339
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:54,311
Anyway, Judy Keenan told me that
she would also cut her hair off.
340
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,880
It was like a suicide pact,
only with bangs.
341
00:16:56,982 --> 00:16:59,883
I cut off my hair,
and of course, she backed out.
342
00:16:59,985 --> 00:17:02,253
But even though my bangs
looked horrible,
343
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:05,189
I kept them that way, mostly
because those stupid bangs
344
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:08,359
were the only thing in my life
that I felt I had control over.
345
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,160
You know?
346
00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:13,164
I'm so tired of everyone
telling me what to do.
347
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:16,234
When to be home, what to wear,
when to take my medicine.
348
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:18,402
I mean, I'm the one
who's sick. Right?
349
00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:20,871
I can handle my own life.
350
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:24,042
How about I tell your parents
the prescription's will be given
351
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:25,609
directly to you.
You're in charge
352
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,712
of getting your Dilantin,
taking it. Everything.
353
00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:31,816
- Thank you.
- Great.
354
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:35,786
I don't have a ring,
but you can kiss my ass.
355
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:40,424
Feared in grey...
beautiful in blue.
356
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:43,727
Feared in grey...
beautiful in blue.
357
00:17:43,829 --> 00:17:47,398
I'm gonna grab a fry...
some ketchup.
358
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:50,134
Ah, it's cold.
359
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,604
That's it.
360
00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:03,814
I'm back.
361
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,249
That was weird.
362
00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:15,092
Mmm!
363
00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:18,362
No, that was weird.
364
00:18:18,464 --> 00:18:20,464
- What're you doin'?
- That's all it was.
365
00:18:20,566 --> 00:18:22,065
If you still need
someone to blame,
366
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:26,704
why don't you try
blaming yourself?
367
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,873
You're absolutely right. It's
my fault you kissed my wife.
368
00:18:29,975 --> 00:18:31,375
Hi-yah! Yaaah!
369
00:18:31,477 --> 00:18:34,177
- Man, I'm goin' home.
- Who do you think you're talkin' to?
370
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,248
You think you're the greatest
husband? I was there when you
371
00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:40,718
flirted with your ex and
neglected to tell her you're married.
372
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:44,589
When you tried to hook up with that
waitress the day before you got engaged.
373
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,790
And when you hooked up
with that stripper
374
00:18:46,892 --> 00:18:48,993
- at Boobies, Boobies, Boobies.
- That was you.
375
00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:51,295
I know, but I told her
my name was Turk.
376
00:18:51,397 --> 00:18:53,330
Point is, think
of the millions of times
377
00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:55,332
you've chosen not
to hang out with your wife
378
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:57,401
'cause you were tryin'
to hang out with me.
379
00:18:57,503 --> 00:19:00,004
It's time you started
acting like a real husband
380
00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:03,040
instead of actin' like
some sort of crazy cowboy.
381
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:06,077
- A cowboy?
- I don't know. It just came to me.
382
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:07,811
You know I'm right, Turk.
383
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:11,315
♪ My eye's reflection ♪
384
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:15,086
When your pride's at stake,
you can't help but have questions.
385
00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:18,255
Just tell me. How did you know
what was bothering her?
386
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:22,159
Tell me now so that we don't
have to talk anymore. Ever.
387
00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:24,996
How is it that no man
understands that every woman,
388
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:28,566
whether she's 16 or 60, still
has that awkward, insecure,
389
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:31,536
self-conscious teenage girl
inside of her?
390
00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:34,605
A lot of times,
the answer is about sacrifice.
391
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:42,212
Hey. Look, I
was thinkin' maybe...
392
00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:44,548
Maybe you'd rather
just stay in tonight...
393
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:47,284
You know, have some pizza,
watch some movies.
394
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:48,553
What do you say?
395
00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:52,556
Are you tryin' to smile?
396
00:19:54,059 --> 00:19:55,892
You're so damn cute.
397
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:58,829
Sometimes sacrifice is
only wearing your new uni
398
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,364
when you're not at work.
399
00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:03,134
OK, how about this one?
Three blue jays fly into a bar.
400
00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:07,571
They say, "We just want
to wet our beaks."
401
00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:10,107
No? Sorry, Dan. You tell one.
402
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:13,944
Other times, it's about
swallowing that damn pride.
403
00:20:15,447 --> 00:20:17,848
J.D., would you
hand me the wine, please?
404
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:20,250
Turk's not talkin' to me.
405
00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:30,027
But ultimately, big or small,
406
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:31,963
sacrifice is
about doin' something
407
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,398
you really don't want to do.
408
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:37,434
Hey, guys, I know we talked
about this before, but...
409
00:20:37,536 --> 00:20:39,103
...I'm movin' out.
410
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:40,604
Really?
411
00:20:40,706 --> 00:20:43,106
Yeah. You guys need your space.
412
00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:45,342
Wow. Thanks, man.
413
00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:47,411
You're gonna miss me, though.
414
00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:49,947
Hey, you could turn
his room into a gym.
415
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:53,117
We ain't puttin' no gym
in my media room.
416
00:20:53,218 --> 00:20:56,520
- Whose media room?
- Our media room.
417
00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:59,089
- Yeah.
- Yeah.