1 00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:04,603 Let me explain. Turk and Carla's marriage was in trouble 2 00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:06,838 because of some dumb stuff Turk had done, 3 00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:10,476 so last night, I took Carla out to smooth things over. 4 00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:13,712 Long story short, we smooched. 5 00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:18,016 Sorry. Drunken accident. 6 00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:19,885 It was barely more than a friend kiss, 7 00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:22,253 so we decided not to tell Turk. 8 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:24,923 Or so I thought. 9 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,392 J.D. and I kissed. 10 00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,428 Was it a comfortable silence? No. 11 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,263 I'm not gonna be the one who breaks it. 12 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:34,366 Unfortunately, I have one of Rowdy's hairs in my mouth. 13 00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,268 Uh-oh. 14 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:40,939 I guess there's a lot of things that can knock you on your ass. 15 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,808 Like, for instance, when your 17-year-old neighbor 16 00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:46,111 doesn't see you as a smoking hottie anymore. 17 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:49,414 Oh, Pedro? 18 00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:51,917 I can't seem to find my pencil. 19 00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:55,353 Do you have any idea where it might be? 20 00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:57,656 It's right there between your bosoms... ma'am. 21 00:00:57,757 --> 00:00:58,990 Ma'am? 22 00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:02,227 You just ma'amed your way out of me buying you beer again. 23 00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:05,497 Ma'am? 24 00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:11,002 And, of course, the one thing you can always count on 25 00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:13,505 to knock you on your ass... 26 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:15,474 Floor wax. 27 00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:17,642 Uncanny. 28 00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:19,344 Dr. Kelso, while I got you here, 29 00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:22,280 I need to discuss a hospital matter of grave importance. 30 00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:25,049 - What is it? - I'm not happy with my uniform. 31 00:01:25,152 --> 00:01:28,553 Ahh! New janitor uniforms! Top priority. 32 00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:31,256 Right up there with silk jammies for the patients 33 00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:32,857 and a cat door for the ICU. 34 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,326 I made some sketches. 35 00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:37,262 This one has a cape! 36 00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:39,631 Gives me the option of fighting crime. 37 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,300 After work, of course. 38 00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:45,036 Now, this one has sort of a medieval thing goin'. 39 00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,906 - That's you on a horse? - It's a steed, sir. 40 00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:51,676 That's for clean-ups in outer space. 41 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:55,447 This one's... outer space evening wear. 42 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,616 This one's just a kangaroo. 43 00:01:57,718 --> 00:01:59,551 Sometimes I draw kangaroos. 44 00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:02,754 You know, I could look at the demented crayon scratchings 45 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:06,457 of a madman all day, but I got a hospital to run. 46 00:02:06,559 --> 00:02:10,161 - Did you wax over there yet? - No, sir. 47 00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:12,564 Ahhh! 48 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:18,369 I'll get a new uniform, or I'll wax everything in your world. 49 00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:21,373 Wait'll you get a load of this. 50 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,875 They're giving me a teaching award tonight, 51 00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:26,411 so I'm gonna need you to holster up the twins, 52 00:02:26,513 --> 00:02:28,646 as you'll be playin' the role of arm candy. 53 00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:31,816 Yeah, I'm not going. If I wanna hear someone go on and on 54 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,120 about how great you are, I'll just listen to you during sex. 55 00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:39,023 I'm hearing the hate, but I'm not seeing the hate. You... 56 00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:44,129 Oh, my God. Did you Botox your face 57 00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:45,997 into an expressionless mask? 58 00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:48,033 Pedro called me "ma'am." 59 00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:51,769 Damn it, Jordan, come on. Now, you know I'm generally OK 60 00:02:51,871 --> 00:02:54,573 with you putting any poison you want into your body, 61 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,109 but this is the first time I've ever won anything. 62 00:02:57,211 --> 00:03:01,879 - It's not that bad. - Really! Show me... happy. 63 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,349 Sad. 64 00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:09,621 Silly. Amused. Bemused. C-mused. 65 00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:11,923 Show me... angry. 66 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,759 Ohhh! Ew! 67 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:17,396 You got angry down. 68 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:20,565 ♪ I can't do this all on my own ♪ 69 00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:25,003 ♪ No, I know I'm no Superman ♪ 70 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,975 ♪ I'm no Superman ♪ 71 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:33,879 When we got to work, not a whole lot had changed. 72 00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:35,547 The silence was killing me. 73 00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:36,948 You kissed my wife. 74 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,883 I miss the silence. 75 00:03:38,985 --> 00:03:40,451 Did you like it? 76 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,153 Well, it's kind of a trick question. 77 00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:44,188 I mean, if I say yes, it's like I'm sayin', 78 00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:47,391 "Dude, your wife is hot, and I'd like to get me some of that." 79 00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:49,227 But if I say no, then I'm all like, 80 00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:50,461 "I know she's your wife, 81 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,998 but you can keep that fish-lipped bitty." 82 00:03:53,968 --> 00:03:56,268 What about you, Carla? Did you like it? 83 00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,302 No! His lips are chappy. 84 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,438 I can't use lip balm. I end up eating it. 85 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:03,074 When I was little, I used to spread it on crackers. 86 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:06,244 Ah! Well, if it isn't the happy couple. 87 00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:08,146 Oh, and Turk's here too! 88 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:11,383 OK. Are we not laughing about this yet? 89 00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:14,152 Turk, look, I'm so sorry, but you have to believe me. 90 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,988 - It was barely anything. - It was barely even a kiss. 91 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,524 It was an accidental lip bump, like, "Oops." 92 00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:23,962 Ohh! Don't even look at her. Sit on the floor! 93 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,697 - Sitting. - Fine. 94 00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:28,366 I'll show you with Elliot. 95 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:34,706 Something wonderful is happening. 96 00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:37,609 I don't understand why you're butting in on my patient 97 00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:40,312 outside of your usual arrogance and God complex. 98 00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:42,914 Don't know what you're talkin' about. Kiss my ring. 99 00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:46,217 However, if you'd like to know about why I'm "butting in," 100 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,853 it's because your young patient Lindsay here, 101 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:52,524 when she was 10, I'm the one who diagnosed her with epilepsy. 102 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,493 Now that her medication's no longer controlling her seizures, 103 00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:57,361 I'd like to know what's going on. 104 00:04:57,463 --> 00:05:00,731 Besides, over the years, we've developed quite a rapport. 105 00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:06,871 Hey. Lindsay. What's up, girlfriend? 106 00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:11,777 See? Rapport. 107 00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:14,579 Ahh! 108 00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:17,748 The damn janitor waxed the counter! 109 00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:19,817 Give me that phone. 110 00:05:19,919 --> 00:05:23,154 It doesn't have to be like this. 111 00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:25,891 I know. 112 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,592 Here. 113 00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:37,202 It's beautiful. 114 00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:40,638 You don't have to put it on today, but... 115 00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:43,408 Hey, we're kinda in the middle of something here! 116 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,477 This'll just take a second. 117 00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:53,551 Nice, huh? 118 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,921 Who gets a tattoo of a mop? 119 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,691 - Can I get up? My butt is asleep. - No! 120 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,960 Turk, you know how I was so upset 121 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,796 because you started calling your ex-girlfriend? 122 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:09,167 I just couldn't understand how a married person could slip up like that. 123 00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:10,935 Now I do. 124 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:14,606 - I'm so sorry. - Me too, buddy. 125 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,242 Guys... as insane as this may sound, 126 00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,845 I'm actually gonna be OK with this. 127 00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:22,381 Just do me a favor. No more apologies. 128 00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:23,982 And no more explanations. 129 00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,584 And for the love of God, honey, 130 00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:28,486 no more girl-on-girl kissing demonstrations. 131 00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:33,057 Something horrible has happened. 132 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,660 I'll tell you why Lindsay's seizures are back. 133 00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,662 Blood work shows her Dilantin's at zero. 134 00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,064 She's not takin' her medicine. 135 00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:41,666 What? I'm gonna give that girl a talking to. 136 00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:44,703 With all due respect, Dr. Cox, maybe I should talk to her. 137 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:47,972 With no due respect whatsoever, why? 138 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,608 She's a teenage girl. That's an awkward time. 139 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:54,179 You know, your breasts are growing... not always symmetrically. 140 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,380 Um, you like boys. One gives you a ride home. 141 00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:58,183 You think something'll happen, 142 00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:00,184 it doesn't, and that makes it official 143 00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:01,653 that you're a lopsided freak! 144 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,955 Happy ending, though. Lefty caught up in college. 145 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,356 - Barbie! - Yeah? 146 00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:07,725 I have a finite amount of brain space, 147 00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:09,261 and your inspiring story 148 00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:10,862 of the little breast who couldn't 149 00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:12,764 just pushed out my memory 150 00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:16,168 of the 1980 Olympic hockey team's victory at Lake Placid. 151 00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:19,303 Miracle on ice... gone. 152 00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:20,604 Listen to me carefully. 153 00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:22,641 I know all about what it's like 154 00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:24,376 to be a teenage girl. 155 00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:28,546 Of course, I never had to try to convince my mother 156 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,715 that I sure would've liked a naval ring. 157 00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:33,785 Well, we were all going to Jamaica, and my friend Susie... 158 00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,759 Brain space. 159 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,364 Turk. You've been so awesome, 160 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:49,500 but we still need you to know how innocent the kiss was. 161 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,336 Guys, it's cool. Don't worry about it. 162 00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:53,571 Just watch, buddy. 163 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,341 See? 164 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:08,452 Ahh! Get your hands off my woman! 165 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:12,924 Owww! 166 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,126 I think you separated my shoulder. 167 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:18,229 The pain is excruciating. 168 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:21,299 What? 169 00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:27,538 - Looking good, Janitor. - Well, thank you, petite lady. 170 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,508 Wow! That color really brings out your package. 171 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:33,478 Thank you, supposedly straight surgeon. 172 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,447 It's a good day. 173 00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:38,816 Hey, buddy! That's a great suit! 174 00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:41,586 Hey, don't bunch the new uni. 175 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:45,056 Little boy blue! Blow your horn. 176 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,792 He didn't stop. 177 00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:51,095 Stop. This hallway's closed. Find another way around. 178 00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,630 Whatever. You got somethin' here. 179 00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:53,965 What? 180 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,666 - What's that? - I don't know. 181 00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:57,936 You look so cute in your little blue outfit, 182 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,537 I wanted to give you a tickle. 183 00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:04,175 All right, what the hell is goin' on? 184 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,212 Feel free to take notes. All right, Blossom. 185 00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:10,782 Here's the hot gossip. You're having seizures again 186 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,817 because you're not taking your medication. 187 00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:14,952 If this continues, you will be dead. 188 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,787 I'm not talking about the "Oh, my God, 189 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,656 if I don't get invited to the prom, 190 00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:21,726 I'm going to die" type of dead. I'm talking "dead" dead. Clear? 191 00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:25,496 Because if it's not, I could, of course, text you on my BlackBerry 192 00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:27,131 or my blueberry or my Chuck Berry. 193 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,533 Technically, Chuck Berry is a black Berry. 194 00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:32,803 The point is, stop wasting everybody's time and grow up. 195 00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:36,574 - That clear to you, sweetheart? - Yes, Dr. Cox. 196 00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:40,411 Thattagirl. Barbie? Feel free to kiss my ring. 197 00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,014 It's nice when things get back to normal. 198 00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,416 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Carla. 199 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,252 You gotta try these sweet potato fries. Amazing. 200 00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:48,919 - Put some ketchup on it. - You got it. 201 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,942 Like I said before, small things 202 00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:12,744 can knock you on your ass. 203 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,248 Whether it's realizing that nobody's afraid of you anymore. 204 00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:21,753 Good Lord! 205 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,621 Or finding out that you have no idea 206 00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:25,924 how to deal with a teenage girl. 207 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,793 Nice work. 208 00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:33,664 The important thing is to not make a scene in the cafeteria. 209 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,199 - Want another one? - Ahh! 210 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,335 - Turk! - What? What? 211 00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:39,404 Were you gonna eat that? How about this? 212 00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:43,741 Let's all have fries, huh? Let's all have fries! 213 00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:45,744 - You want fries? - You said you were OK! 214 00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,211 My fries! 215 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,246 Well, apparently, I'm not OK, am I, Carla? 216 00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,715 Apparently, I'm not! 217 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:54,084 You know why? Because kisses just don't happen. They don't. 218 00:10:54,186 --> 00:10:57,889 Now, this is somebody's fault, and I wanna know whose. 219 00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,957 Huh?! 220 00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:03,093 Don't eat that fry! 221 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,100 Admittedly, I lost my cool here. 222 00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:11,969 - No, it's understandable. - No! Why would you...? 223 00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:13,938 I'm sorry, the only way I'm gonna have closure 224 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,906 is if I can blame one of you guys. 225 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:19,143 I just gotta figure out who. 226 00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:24,315 Don't worry, this'll all be fine. You know Turk. 227 00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:27,919 I mean, whomever he blames will get the silent treatment for a couple days, 228 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,522 then he'll make snarky comments for a few months. 229 00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:32,924 Sooner or later, he'll be laughing about it. 230 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,526 Like when I slept with his family's cleaning lady. 231 00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:37,262 You slept with Toonie? 232 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,096 I was staying in their guest room, 233 00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,800 she was buffing the nightstand, and she just kept on buffin'. 234 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:45,536 - But hey, thanks for takin' the hit on this one. - Me?! You're his best friend. 235 00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:49,240 All you have to do is say, "I'm sorry," high-five him, and go, "Dahhh!" 236 00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:51,342 All you do is have sex, and he'll forgive you. 237 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,144 If I have sex with him, he'll end up madder. 238 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,980 You know what? Let's not play into his blame game. 239 00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,948 Agreed. 240 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,784 Dude, she was pourin' drinks into me, 241 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,087 and she knows I put out when I'm drunk. 242 00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:06,991 He took me to a bar. 243 00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:10,294 Ahhh! 244 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:13,664 I didn't ask him to walk me home! 245 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:17,101 I'm tellin' you, dude, she was all over me like ants on candy. 246 00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:21,239 You think you're talkin' to Turk, don't you? Idiot. 247 00:12:22,708 --> 00:12:24,609 Look, Lindsay, I'm real sorry 248 00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,710 if I upset you before. I truly am. 249 00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:28,245 I probably should've asked you 250 00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:30,548 why you stopped taking your medication, 251 00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,083 and to be honest with you, 252 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:33,684 I was hoping you'd be able to give me 253 00:12:33,786 --> 00:12:36,387 the answer to that one right about now. 254 00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:41,359 So... Lindso... 255 00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,461 It must be kinda cool having 256 00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:46,364 the same name as that Lindsay Lohan. 257 00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,366 Gosh, she's super-cool. 258 00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:51,936 Just between you, me and the IV, I guess I've probably seen 259 00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:55,306 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, oh, I don't know, 260 00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:58,142 three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine times. 261 00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:00,778 What a film. 262 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,714 Whoo! 263 00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:06,551 That girl... That girl is a robot. 264 00:13:06,652 --> 00:13:09,120 I spent three hours in there and got goose egg. 265 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:11,388 It's so odd that she didn't respond to you, 266 00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:14,558 because you know so much about teenage girls. 267 00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:16,027 All right, look. Barbie, 268 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,163 I'm about to say four words I've never said to you before, 269 00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:20,865 that I'll never say again. 270 00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:23,801 Go on, get outta here. 271 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:28,039 I need your help. 272 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,241 Fine. But I have three rules. 273 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:32,610 One, when we're in the room, you say nothing. 274 00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:35,079 Two, I get to say whatever I want about you. 275 00:13:35,181 --> 00:13:36,780 Three, if you break rule one or two, 276 00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:38,816 I get to "boing" your curls. 277 00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:40,984 What the hell does "boing" mean? 278 00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:45,055 Boing! 279 00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:47,925 Ha! 280 00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:50,227 Oh, God, this is gonna kill me. 281 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,298 All right, just put on your mean face, 282 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,899 and order shall be restored. 283 00:13:58,304 --> 00:14:02,706 ♪ Hello, world, here's a song that we're singing ♪ 284 00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:05,175 Yeah, hi. Nut. 285 00:14:07,813 --> 00:14:09,714 What? I don't even know you. 286 00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:18,155 ♪ We'll make you happy ♪ 287 00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:19,623 Yeah, yeah. Happy birthday. 288 00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:23,461 ♪ We'll make you happy ♪ 289 00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:24,896 You gave me a cursed uniform. 290 00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:28,066 It's not cursed. It's simply psychology. 291 00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,233 I chose robin's-egg blue 292 00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:31,169 because it has a calming effect on people, 293 00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:33,670 and I knew it'd be the thorn in your paw. 294 00:14:33,772 --> 00:14:35,906 Other colors evoke different reactions. 295 00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:40,044 For example, bright orange has been found to provoke hostility. 296 00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:44,048 Dr. Kelso, I want to thank you again for the tie. 297 00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,417 Fist five! 298 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,153 Oww! 299 00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:51,622 That's the third time today! 300 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,525 Ahh! 301 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:58,829 Ah. Please don't make me go to this banquet tonight. 302 00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:01,499 Jordan, this award came from my interns. 303 00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,701 The least you can do is show up and support me. 304 00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,937 Uh, uh, uh... Uh, uh! 305 00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:10,274 And just like that, it was time for the moment of truth. 306 00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,710 - Hey, Turk. - Hey, Turk. 307 00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,112 What's up, J.D.? 308 00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:16,413 The silent treatment. 309 00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:17,949 Be gracious. 310 00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:22,453 I got three words for ya. Sucks to be... Adding a fourth... you. 311 00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,126 After sharing a quick victory dance 312 00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:30,861 with Roland, the heavy-set orderly, 313 00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:33,698 who, coincidentally, was my victory dance coach... 314 00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:34,798 - Pop the hips. - OK. 315 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,500 - Pop the hips, J.D. - There it is. 316 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:39,403 - Thanks, Roland. One day I'll get it. - I doubt it. 317 00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:42,440 ...I got to thinking about relationships. 318 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:45,710 About how people fall in love... 319 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,381 ...have kids... 320 00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:53,484 ...grow old together... 321 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:56,788 ...and say goodbye. 322 00:15:56,890 --> 00:16:00,725 And then, for some reason, I thought about the circus. 323 00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:04,128 But then I was back on relationships. 324 00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:07,665 Back to your room, Mr. Johnson. You got one ventricle. 325 00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:10,234 I couldn't help thinking maybe it wasn't luck 326 00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:11,803 that made relationships last. 327 00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:14,505 Maybe it was a matter of who takes fewer hits. 328 00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,140 You don't have to talk to me. 329 00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:20,812 Just wave if you're gonna give me a ride home. 330 00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:24,849 And I realized I should've been the one to take that hit, not Carla. 331 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,687 Hey, Lindsay. 332 00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:33,457 Oh, don't worry. He's not allowed to talk. 333 00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:34,825 Is that true? 334 00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:37,695 You may nod. 335 00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:40,898 - Mmm. - Mm-mm. Bup, bup. 336 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:45,002 You know, Lindsay, when I was 15, I cut my own bangs. 337 00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:48,239 Oh, that's right, Percival, it's a high school hair story. 338 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,508 - Oh. - Mm-hm. 339 00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:54,311 Anyway, Judy Keenan told me that she would also cut her hair off. 340 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,880 It was like a suicide pact, only with bangs. 341 00:16:56,982 --> 00:16:59,883 I cut off my hair, and of course, she backed out. 342 00:16:59,985 --> 00:17:02,253 But even though my bangs looked horrible, 343 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:05,189 I kept them that way, mostly because those stupid bangs 344 00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:08,359 were the only thing in my life that I felt I had control over. 345 00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,160 You know? 346 00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:13,164 I'm so tired of everyone telling me what to do. 347 00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:16,234 When to be home, what to wear, when to take my medicine. 348 00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:18,402 I mean, I'm the one who's sick. Right? 349 00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:20,871 I can handle my own life. 350 00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:24,042 How about I tell your parents the prescription's will be given 351 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:25,609 directly to you. You're in charge 352 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,712 of getting your Dilantin, taking it. Everything. 353 00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:31,816 - Thank you. - Great. 354 00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:35,786 I don't have a ring, but you can kiss my ass. 355 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:40,424 Feared in grey... beautiful in blue. 356 00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:43,727 Feared in grey... beautiful in blue. 357 00:17:43,829 --> 00:17:47,398 I'm gonna grab a fry... some ketchup. 358 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:50,134 Ah, it's cold. 359 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,604 That's it. 360 00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:03,814 I'm back. 361 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,249 That was weird. 362 00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:15,092 Mmm! 363 00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:18,362 No, that was weird. 364 00:18:18,464 --> 00:18:20,464 - What're you doin'? - That's all it was. 365 00:18:20,566 --> 00:18:22,065 If you still need someone to blame, 366 00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:26,704 why don't you try blaming yourself? 367 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,873 You're absolutely right. It's my fault you kissed my wife. 368 00:18:29,975 --> 00:18:31,375 Hi-yah! Yaaah! 369 00:18:31,477 --> 00:18:34,177 - Man, I'm goin' home. - Who do you think you're talkin' to? 370 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,248 You think you're the greatest husband? I was there when you 371 00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:40,718 flirted with your ex and neglected to tell her you're married. 372 00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:44,589 When you tried to hook up with that waitress the day before you got engaged. 373 00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,790 And when you hooked up with that stripper 374 00:18:46,892 --> 00:18:48,993 - at Boobies, Boobies, Boobies. - That was you. 375 00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:51,295 I know, but I told her my name was Turk. 376 00:18:51,397 --> 00:18:53,330 Point is, think of the millions of times 377 00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:55,332 you've chosen not to hang out with your wife 378 00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:57,401 'cause you were tryin' to hang out with me. 379 00:18:57,503 --> 00:19:00,004 It's time you started acting like a real husband 380 00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:03,040 instead of actin' like some sort of crazy cowboy. 381 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:06,077 - A cowboy? - I don't know. It just came to me. 382 00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:07,811 You know I'm right, Turk. 383 00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:11,315 ♪ My eye's reflection ♪ 384 00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:15,086 When your pride's at stake, you can't help but have questions. 385 00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:18,255 Just tell me. How did you know what was bothering her? 386 00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:22,159 Tell me now so that we don't have to talk anymore. Ever. 387 00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:24,996 How is it that no man understands that every woman, 388 00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:28,566 whether she's 16 or 60, still has that awkward, insecure, 389 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:31,536 self-conscious teenage girl inside of her? 390 00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:34,605 A lot of times, the answer is about sacrifice. 391 00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:42,212 Hey. Look, I was thinkin' maybe... 392 00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:44,548 Maybe you'd rather just stay in tonight... 393 00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:47,284 You know, have some pizza, watch some movies. 394 00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:48,553 What do you say? 395 00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:52,556 Are you tryin' to smile? 396 00:19:54,059 --> 00:19:55,892 You're so damn cute. 397 00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:58,829 Sometimes sacrifice is only wearing your new uni 398 00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,364 when you're not at work. 399 00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:03,134 OK, how about this one? Three blue jays fly into a bar. 400 00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:07,571 They say, "We just want to wet our beaks." 401 00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:10,107 No? Sorry, Dan. You tell one. 402 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:13,944 Other times, it's about swallowing that damn pride. 403 00:20:15,447 --> 00:20:17,848 J.D., would you hand me the wine, please? 404 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:20,250 Turk's not talkin' to me. 405 00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:30,027 But ultimately, big or small, 406 00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:31,963 sacrifice is about doin' something 407 00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,398 you really don't want to do. 408 00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:37,434 Hey, guys, I know we talked about this before, but... 409 00:20:37,536 --> 00:20:39,103 ...I'm movin' out. 410 00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:40,604 Really? 411 00:20:40,706 --> 00:20:43,106 Yeah. You guys need your space. 412 00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:45,342 Wow. Thanks, man. 413 00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:47,411 You're gonna miss me, though. 414 00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:49,947 Hey, you could turn his room into a gym. 415 00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:53,117 We ain't puttin' no gym in my media room. 416 00:20:53,218 --> 00:20:56,520 - Whose media room? - Our media room. 417 00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:59,089 - Yeah. - Yeah.