1 00:00:05,172 --> 00:00:08,373 Kylie and I still hadn't slept together, but I had a feeling 2 00:00:08,475 --> 00:00:11,410 her four-week booty embargo was about to end. 3 00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:12,978 I have a surprise for you tonight. 4 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,313 God, I hope it's sex. Or a pony. 5 00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:18,483 I'll bet it's sex 'cause I don't see a pony. 6 00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:20,351 Wait right here. 7 00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:26,124 It's for your scooter. What are you doing? 8 00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:28,961 Nothing, I was just gonna do a little laundry. 9 00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:31,229 I assume your facilities are in-building? 10 00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:33,698 Why is it always about sex with you? 11 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:37,769 It's not. Look, Kylie, I'm just really proud of my abs. 12 00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:40,372 Or ab. 13 00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:45,343 Turk and Carla were having relationship trouble, 14 00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:46,911 but they were working on it. 15 00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:50,615 I don't understand why we can't discuss this after The A-Team. 16 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:53,651 A lot of married couples hit roadblocks their first year, 17 00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:55,220 but nothing will be resolved 18 00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:57,422 if we don't get our issues out in the open. 19 00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:59,591 OK, let's do this. 20 00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:04,062 - OK, what's bothering me... - Hey, hey! There he is! 21 00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:05,663 Did my buddy hit it and quit it? 22 00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:06,898 Hell, no. 23 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,134 Hell, yes! 24 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,469 Excuse me, it's time for my nightly ritual. 25 00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:14,840 Pleasure myself, weep and repeat. 26 00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:16,875 See, Turk? This is our problem. 27 00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:19,410 We're trying to have a serious conversation, 28 00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:22,347 but you're more concerned about your other wife. 29 00:01:22,449 --> 00:01:23,948 You know what bothers me? 30 00:01:24,050 --> 00:01:25,950 Everything with you becomes a big issue. 31 00:01:26,052 --> 00:01:28,153 You make mountains out of molehills. 32 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:31,957 When have I ever made a mountain out of a molehill? 33 00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:33,992 Turk! If you can't remember 34 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,661 to put the cap on the toothpaste, 35 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,862 how are we gonna raise our children? 36 00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:41,432 You know what? I'm gonna stay with my sister. 37 00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:45,270 I guess I could work on it a little. 38 00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:47,839 If the patient is in shock, the first thing we do 39 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,541 is assess intravascular volume... 40 00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:50,742 Ahhh! 41 00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:53,111 - What? That's right. - Oh, I know. 42 00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:56,248 I wasn't "ahhhing" you to indicate an incorrect answer, 43 00:01:56,350 --> 00:02:00,018 I was "ahhhing" because I was bored, thought that might drive you crazy. 44 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,188 You're a wonderful teacher. Stop in front of my residents. 45 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:05,390 - It's unprofessional. - You're right, Barbie. 46 00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:07,726 Carry on. 47 00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:11,263 So when you're dealing with cardiogenic shock... 48 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:16,335 - ...it's best to start fluid resuscitation... - Bong! 49 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,005 Let's keep moving. 50 00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:23,909 You know, I don't really appreciate 51 00:02:24,011 --> 00:02:26,377 you messing with my lady. 52 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,879 Your lady? 53 00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:30,148 Blonde doctor and I will end up together. 54 00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,751 I'm talking house in the burbs, Volvo in the driveway, 55 00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,652 dog-fighting ring in the basement. 56 00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:37,489 I guess it wouldn't be the first time the janitor got the girl. 57 00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:40,792 Oh, wait a minute. Yes, it would. 58 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,961 - You want to place a wager? - I do, 59 00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,262 but I really have no need 60 00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:46,764 for a cracked thermos and two pounds of keys. 61 00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:48,767 How about my van for your Porsche? 62 00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:51,336 I suppose when I win, I could destroy your vehicle 63 00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:53,005 and make you watch, couldn't I? 64 00:02:53,107 --> 00:02:55,173 - Bet. - Bet. 65 00:02:56,943 --> 00:02:59,778 - Give me the details on Kylie. - Dude, it was so naughty. 66 00:02:59,879 --> 00:03:03,147 We're kissing, and she's like, "It's a little hot in here," 67 00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:05,550 - and she starts pulling down her skirt. - Ohhh! 68 00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:08,720 Oh, my God. I'm getting turned on by my own fake story. 69 00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:13,091 Damn you, ruptured spleen! To be continued. 70 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:16,261 Thank God Turk left, I can't think about sex anymore. 71 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,662 Luckily for me, there isn't 72 00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,831 a whole lot of temptation in a hospital. 73 00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:23,034 Howdy, stranger. 74 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,572 Do you still want me? 75 00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,775 Yes, please. 76 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:35,012 Hey, stranger. 77 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,417 Ouch. 78 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,587 ♪ I can't do this all on my own ♪ 79 00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:46,758 ♪ No, I know I'm no Superman ♪ 80 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,997 ♪ I'm no Superman ♪ 81 00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:58,169 So Molly's back in town. She definitely wants me. 82 00:03:58,271 --> 00:04:00,172 Bye. How you doing, J.J.? 83 00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:01,873 It's J.D. 84 00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:03,909 I was thinking of that Jimmie Walker sitcom. 85 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,577 - Good Times? - Not great. 86 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:08,179 My sister had a miscarriage. 87 00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:09,815 Molly? 88 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,883 Oh, yes! 89 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:13,818 - You look fantastic. - So do you. 90 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,554 - How's Milwaukee? - OK. I'm here to see a patient. 91 00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:18,990 Though she did the fake "forget my name" thing, 92 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,325 she's here for me. 93 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,260 I think we all know there's no patient. 94 00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:23,862 They've landed! 95 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,798 Grab blankets and all the canned goods you can carry. 96 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,499 We're moving to the sewers. 97 00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:31,069 He's really possessive of me. 98 00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:33,237 He won't talk to the new psychiatrist. 99 00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:35,307 I'm sure he's not that possessive. 100 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:37,842 Get away from my doctor! 101 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:41,179 - Get him off! Get him off! - Patrick, down. 102 00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:47,585 It is so good to laugh like this with you again. 103 00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:48,753 I'm on a break here. 104 00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:51,022 Tell your shiny-headed roommate to shut up, 105 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,857 or his first surgery will be removing 106 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,225 that cell phone from his ass. 107 00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:56,628 Give him a break. He's talking to his wife. 108 00:04:56,730 --> 00:05:00,565 Anybody seen Mr. Jennings file? Oh, here it is. 109 00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:03,635 This just got interesting. 110 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:06,337 - Who are you talking to? - Rosanna. 111 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,439 - Your college girlfriend? - Yeah. 112 00:05:08,541 --> 00:05:10,442 - Could I say hi? - Yeah. Oh, my gosh. 113 00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,711 - Hey, Rosanna. - - Hi, J.D. 114 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,479 Dude, what the hell? 115 00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:18,049 Hello? 116 00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:20,985 - Hello? J.D.? - This phone is indestructible. 117 00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:22,987 If it has a camera, I'm so getting one. 118 00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,956 Is anybody there? 119 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,457 Dude! 120 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,293 Why are you talking to her? 121 00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:30,761 We're just friends! 122 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,130 Ahh, just friends. 123 00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:35,634 I was just friends once with a Vietnamese girl. 124 00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:39,137 Long story short, I'm sending Trong Tri Kelso to college. 125 00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:41,272 He doesn't want to go to a state school. 126 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:44,843 Unlike you, Bobbo, Gandhi here is in a healthy relationship. 127 00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,745 I mean, come on, even Jordan lets me 128 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,880 keep in touch with women from my past. 129 00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:50,482 Give me a pound, my dog. 130 00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:55,186 - He gets me. - Give me a pound, dog. 131 00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:58,423 Does he know you were being sarcastic? 132 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:01,559 - I hope not. - Splendid. 133 00:06:01,661 --> 00:06:03,294 Gentlemen, Crazy Eyes Margo, 134 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:05,664 I've called us together for one reason. 135 00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:08,399 I have to find a way to make blonde doctor mine. 136 00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:09,801 Burn down her apartment. 137 00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:12,871 I have an idea, but we're gonna need a tugboat. 138 00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:16,007 Tugboats and arson. That's all I ever get from you guys. 139 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,143 We call this a brain trust, 140 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,844 and I'm the one with all the solutions. 141 00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:21,779 I saved you from that eagle, Randall. 142 00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,548 I saved your job, Troy. 143 00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:26,217 And, Margo, I found your birth mother. 144 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,587 She was a tree person, remember? 145 00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,488 There's no shame in that. 146 00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:34,125 I'm sorry, guys, but I've had enough. 147 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,794 I'm afraid I have to find a new brain trust. 148 00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:39,631 Gentlemen... 149 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,733 ...I don't want to appear selfish, 150 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,502 but stop what you're doing and focus on me. 151 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,572 So you seeing anyone? 152 00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:49,140 I went out with a guy named Rick. 153 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,042 Then he met my mom, and it fell apart. 154 00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,445 - She didn't like him? - No. She loved him. 155 00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:54,646 They're in Aruba. 156 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,581 God, I'd love to get with Molly. 157 00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:59,818 You're pretty horny for a guy who gets it on a nightly basis. 158 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,721 - What are you implying? - Let's say a birdie told me 159 00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,089 - you and Kylie haven't slept together. - Who? 160 00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:08,193 - Nurse Birdie. - Well, you haven't. 161 00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:11,329 - I trusted you. - Dude, it's been a month. 162 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,931 Really? Has it been a month? 163 00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:15,634 Time just flies when you're dry-humping your way 164 00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:17,402 through three pairs of cords. 165 00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:18,904 She hasn't slept with you. 166 00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:22,040 She doesn't want to be exclusive. Is she dating? 167 00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,575 She did go to a movie with her brother-in-law. 168 00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:27,045 Perfect. You can have your cake and eat it too. 169 00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:29,147 It's like me talking with my old girlfriend. 170 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,749 It boosts my self-esteem, 171 00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:33,051 and I take the positive energy back to Carla. 172 00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,385 This is what you do. 173 00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:37,155 Go out with Molly, have a great time while she's in town, 174 00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:39,124 but once she leaves, you go to Kylie 175 00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:41,325 and tell her you want to get exclusive. 176 00:07:41,427 --> 00:07:44,195 That is the dumbest idea I've ever heard. 177 00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:47,199 Once you got the hole in the bottom of the popcorn box, 178 00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,400 it's basically just a waiting game. 179 00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:51,069 And for the record, that technique 180 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,505 does not work with hot nachos. 181 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:57,208 You want to get Elliot, get in good with her best friend. 182 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,276 Who's Elliot? 183 00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:04,049 - Oh. - Trust me. 184 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,517 The way I got my girlfriend in junior high 185 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:08,886 was by getting her best friend to like me. 186 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,321 And how'd you do that? 187 00:08:10,424 --> 00:08:13,825 Oh, I posed as her dad so she could rent a car. 188 00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:18,730 I lost my hair in eighth grade. 189 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,065 Tough break five. 190 00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:24,135 I'm going in. 191 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:31,909 Um, we should be friends. 192 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:34,946 - OK. - Do you like "vanning"? 193 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:37,848 - I don't know what that is. - It's kind of my thing. 194 00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:41,886 It's like taking a long drive in a car, only it's in a van. 195 00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:45,323 - I'm still not getting it. - Can you hold on for one sec? 196 00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:48,560 She's an idiot. 197 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:54,199 Turk, I found your cell phone in the parking lot. 198 00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:58,536 Four stories and not a scratch. What are you made of? 199 00:08:58,638 --> 00:09:02,641 You got three missed phone calls, all from a "Rosanna." 200 00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:05,810 Isn't that your ex-girlfriend? 201 00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:10,648 - What's been going on? - I went to India for two weeks. 202 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,183 Ladies, this is a hospital, 203 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,518 not the Junior League. Let's break it up. 204 00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:18,289 Dr. Clock, I feel as though I've seen less of you recently. 205 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,291 We don't pay you to go hide in your office. 206 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,159 Let's get out there on the floor. 207 00:09:22,261 --> 00:09:24,295 I moved to Milwaukee four months ago. 208 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,529 Welcome back. 209 00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:28,532 This trip to India sounds so exotic. 210 00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:31,603 Hey, Kylie, I'm just calling to see how your day is going. 211 00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:34,472 Sweat would be dripping off our naked bodies. 212 00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:37,842 Naked sweat drips. 213 00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:39,611 - What? - Oh, nothing, Kylie. 214 00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:42,614 It's a new band called The Naked Sweat Drips. 215 00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:45,650 They have a great song called Perfect Breasts. 216 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:46,818 And then I got so flexible, 217 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,087 I could put my legs behind my head. 218 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,189 - J.D., are you there? - You should come. 219 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,291 Frick on a stick. I gotta go. 220 00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:55,393 I want to hear the rest. Don't forget. 221 00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:57,161 Feet up behind her head. 222 00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,230 Who has their feet behind their head? 223 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,733 A patient, Kylie. Horrible car accident. 224 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:04,802 You gotta wear your seat belt, even around the block. 225 00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,906 Hey. I'm getting out of here. Do you want to grab a beer? 226 00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:10,241 They say the best laid plans of mice and men 227 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:11,576 often go awry. 228 00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:13,978 I can't believe you've been talking to her. 229 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,247 Now, honey, is it possible 230 00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:19,884 you're making mountains out of molehills? 231 00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:22,020 Damn it. 232 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:25,623 Sometimes plans go exactly like they're supposed to. 233 00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:27,725 - You paged me? - - Yeah, look. 234 00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:30,562 I made a bet with Dr. Cox that you would go out with me. 235 00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:32,797 And if I win, I get his Porsche. 236 00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,332 And the success of those plans 237 00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:37,902 can take even the most hardened men by surprise. 238 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:44,743 Do you mind? I am trying to have a private moment with my man. 239 00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:51,015 Oh, God. 240 00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:55,619 - I got lipstick on you. - No. Leave it. 241 00:10:57,857 --> 00:11:00,691 And sometimes even the best of men can go awry. 242 00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:02,794 So are you coming over tonight? 243 00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,695 Hey, J.D. 244 00:11:04,797 --> 00:11:08,399 Try that cake I was telling you about. 245 00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,871 Actually, Kylie, I... I can't tonight. 246 00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:21,112 If having my cake and eating it too meant being with Molly, 247 00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:23,982 - then nothing would get between us. - Guys, you going out? 248 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:26,618 - You should come with us! - That's a close button. 249 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:31,422 No, it's a close button. When someone gets close, a sensor opens the door. 250 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,757 Fancy. 251 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:35,559 Oh, no. She's got a pinkie hold. 252 00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:37,227 Elliot's got the finger strength 253 00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,697 of a rock-climbing jazz pianist. 254 00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:45,536 You're pressing the wrong button. 255 00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:47,371 Ahh! 256 00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:49,373 I'm so excited. So where are we going? 257 00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:51,876 We haven't decided yet! 258 00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:54,445 I gotta tell you there, supercuts, 259 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,081 I've seen crazy things at this hospital. 260 00:11:57,183 --> 00:11:59,416 I've seen smokers live to be 100 261 00:11:59,518 --> 00:12:02,353 and triathletes come in and drop dead at 20. 262 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:04,388 I've seen unbridled joy, 263 00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:06,457 and I've seen debilitating pain. 264 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:10,228 But I never thought I'd see a jump-suit-wearing, 265 00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:13,264 van-driving, vomit-cleaning, no-good, confounded, 266 00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:17,768 Frankenstein-looking buffoon like you get a girl like Barbie. 267 00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:19,671 I'm gonna paint your Porsche mint green 268 00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:21,839 so it looks like my van's baby. 269 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:33,818 Whoa! 270 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:37,388 Rosanna gets her own personal ringtone, but I don't? 271 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:39,057 Baby, I don't have to answer this. 272 00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:42,493 It's cool. I got the ring that matters, right? 273 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,629 Mm-hmm. 274 00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:47,798 Nurse, I want to talk to you about these discharge... 275 00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:50,334 We can talk later. 276 00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:55,439 - You need to come get a drink. - Yes, I do. 277 00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:57,975 Janitor. 278 00:12:58,077 --> 00:13:00,311 So did Dr. Cox pay up? 279 00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:03,515 Uh, no. No. 280 00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:07,084 He says that he needs to see us on an actual date 281 00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:09,086 in a restaurant tonight at 8. 282 00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:11,522 OK. Meet me at Stanwyck's? 283 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,624 - Sure. - OK. 284 00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:16,126 OK. 285 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,900 Sorry, guys, can't go clubbing tonight. 286 00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:25,035 Daddy's got a date. 287 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,105 Oh, man! 288 00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:30,274 I ironed my going-out hair! 289 00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:38,015 They make thongs specifically for low riders now. 290 00:13:38,117 --> 00:13:41,085 They don't work. I can't sit without showing my ass crack. 291 00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:43,387 The other night, some guy tried to put a pen in it. 292 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:46,523 Some guy? I never get credit for anything. 293 00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:49,460 You guys think I'm overreacting about Turk? 294 00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:51,495 Calls from an ex would drive me nuts. 295 00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:53,764 I knew how to get rid of them, but I can't do that to Turk. 296 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:56,935 If you don't, I will. Mr. Peeps? 297 00:13:57,037 --> 00:14:01,138 - Why are you British? - I'll explain - later. Lose the extra bitches. 298 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:03,541 Carla. Go talk to Turk. 299 00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:06,377 Share with him your feelings. That's what he wants. 300 00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:08,646 - Yeah? - Come on. I'll drive you. 301 00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,915 I gotta go to dinner anyway. 302 00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:14,652 You're welcome. 303 00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:16,487 We should go too. It's late. 304 00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,756 Oh, no, no, no. I just ordered two drinks. 305 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,958 Here they are. 306 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:23,794 Hey, Turk? 307 00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:26,230 I promise I will visit you soon. 308 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,134 Look, I don't care if I seem crazy. 309 00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:31,969 Please stop talking to your ex. 310 00:14:32,071 --> 00:14:34,639 Anything for you, you know that. 311 00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:44,248 College was weird. I was worried about being liked, 312 00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:47,184 so I let my roommate think we were dating for three months. 313 00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,554 - We broke up at her sorority formal. - Hmm. 314 00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:53,358 Oh, nobody could snuggle like Daisy. 315 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:55,492 Did you say Dr. Cox was coming at 8? 316 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,561 Oh, I'm sure he'll be here soon. 317 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:07,138 I kissed a dude once. It was at furnace camp. 318 00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:12,710 You're a little drunk, and you know what happens when you get drunk. 319 00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:15,713 You get "handsy." Now control yourself. 320 00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:18,049 It's tough making new friends in Milwaukee. 321 00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:22,319 I said control yourself! 322 00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:25,556 If people aren't getting to know you, they're missing out. 323 00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:28,726 - Do you think so? - I do. 324 00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,194 I knew what would happen 325 00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,863 if I reached over and brushed the hair out of her eyes. 326 00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:38,803 ♪ Waiting for it to bring me ♪ 327 00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:42,773 ♪ So many answers ♪ 328 00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:46,344 ♪ In so many ways ♪ 329 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,947 ♪ With a voice that's understanding ♪ 330 00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:53,550 ♪ Where the mornings last for days ♪ 331 00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:57,388 ♪ The things I want to tell you ♪ 332 00:15:57,490 --> 00:16:00,958 ♪ The beats that I could drop ♪ 333 00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:04,929 ♪ With a voice that's understanding ♪ 334 00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:07,364 ♪ Time is ours to stop ♪ 335 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,032 But I didn't do that. 336 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,169 I should get going. 337 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:14,805 I'm sorry. 338 00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:28,519 Well, if it isn't Marginally Attractive and the Beast. 339 00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,054 How did the Porsche drive? 340 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:33,891 Wait, why did we just go out if you already have his car? 341 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,427 Oh, my goodness. 342 00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:38,796 He actually tricked you into a date. 343 00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:41,198 This is so very delicious and filling, 344 00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:44,702 I don't think I can eat the rest of the evening. 345 00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:47,170 I honestly don't think I can have one more bite 346 00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:50,741 of your painful humiliation. 347 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,444 I find I'm just a little stuffed. 348 00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:55,646 I will take my keys to go, though. 349 00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:58,182 Yipee! 350 00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:01,985 You're unbelievable. 351 00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:05,690 You're the only one around here that treats me like a real person. 352 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,392 What did you just say? 353 00:17:08,494 --> 00:17:12,663 There was one other girl a few years ago. Red-haired doctor. 354 00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:15,766 She ate lunch with me until the residents made fun of her. 355 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:19,369 They called her "janitor lunch-eater." 356 00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:21,371 Not the most clever group. 357 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,408 Anyway, 358 00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:26,744 I know you don't think about me the way that I think about you, 359 00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:30,548 and I never really believed that you would or that you could. 360 00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:34,618 But just pretending for today somehow 361 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:37,855 made me feel good for a change. 362 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,058 I'm sorry. 363 00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:45,262 You know what? It's OK. 364 00:17:45,364 --> 00:17:47,998 I actually had a good time. 365 00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:50,801 Thanks. 366 00:17:53,772 --> 00:17:55,606 Elliot. 367 00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:04,114 Kylie, I'm sorry. I hope it's OK that I stopped by. 368 00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:09,319 - What was that for? - I was thinking about how patient you've been, 369 00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:10,888 how right things feel. 370 00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:13,423 Then you showed up, and it feels like fate. 371 00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:15,959 Wait, are you saying that you're ready? 372 00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:19,329 Awesome. 373 00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:25,002 First, let me set the mood. 374 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:28,105 You're right, it is fate. I was out with this girl tonight 375 00:18:28,207 --> 00:18:31,408 that I could have had sex with, but it was easy to blow her off. 376 00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:34,245 I was excited to be with you. 377 00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,648 Why have you stopped lighting incense? 378 00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:40,317 It makes the room smell like Chinese rain. 379 00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:43,654 You blew me off tonight to be with some random girl? 380 00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:47,091 She's not a random girl. I had a crush on her long before I met you. 381 00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:51,094 - I will kill you. - You should go. 382 00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:54,665 Trouble. If I didn't play my cards right, I knew what could happen. 383 00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:57,634 ♪ The clouds in your eyes ♪ 384 00:18:57,736 --> 00:19:01,605 ♪ Down your face they pour ♪ 385 00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:05,276 ♪ Won't you ♪ 386 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:06,577 ♪ Be the new one? ♪ 387 00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:09,713 ♪ Burn to shine ♪ 388 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:14,084 ♪ I take the blue ones every time ♪ 389 00:19:14,186 --> 00:19:18,322 ♪ Walk me down your broken line ♪ 390 00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:21,592 ♪ All you have to do is cry ♪ 391 00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:24,127 ♪ Yes, all you have to do is cry ♪ 392 00:19:24,229 --> 00:19:26,797 Unfortunately, that's what did happen. 393 00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:28,332 See, that's the thing about trying 394 00:19:28,434 --> 00:19:31,669 to have your cake and eating it too. 395 00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:33,237 If you make the slightest mistake, 396 00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:35,706 you usually wind up getting neither. 397 00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:43,514 We can fix that. 398 00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:55,693 You guys are out. You guys are back in. Where's Margo? 399 00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:58,395 At a Ludacris concert with her birth mom. 400 00:19:58,497 --> 00:20:03,601 I lose my van to him, and I lose Margo to gangster rap. 401 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,703 Bad day. 402 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,875 Who wants to risk something important just for a silly piece of cake? 403 00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:13,344 I did it. 404 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:16,280 Cut off all ties with Rosanna. Forever. 405 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,582 Baby, that took, like, 20 seconds. 406 00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:20,117 How'd you do that so quickly? 407 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,353 It was easy. I told her I was married. 408 00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:26,123 You've been talking to a girl you used to sleep with, 409 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,726 and you never told her you were married? 410 00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:31,229 She never asks. 411 00:20:31,331 --> 00:20:33,530 It's no big deal. 412 00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:34,798 Because if you're lucky, 413 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,601 maybe you won't be married for much longer. 414 00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:42,039 Baby. Baby! 415 00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:47,844 ♪ Won't you be the new one? ♪ 416 00:20:47,946 --> 00:20:50,881 ♪ Burn to shine ♪ 417 00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:55,352 ♪ I take the blue ones every time ♪ 418 00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:59,590 ♪ Walk me down your broken line ♪ 419 00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:04,160 ♪ All you have to do is cry ♪