1
00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:04,436
It's been a long road,
but over the past two months,
2
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,871
Elliot and I have totally
rebuilt our friendship.
3
00:00:06,973 --> 00:00:09,942
Incoming.
4
00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:12,444
Good morning.
5
00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:15,147
Uhh!
6
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:17,515
Co-chiefy, got you a
little somethin'-somethin'.
7
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:18,650
Thank you.
8
00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:23,055
And I actually got you
a little something.
9
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,959
A magnifying glass?
10
00:00:28,061 --> 00:00:30,596
Yes... for these.
11
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:33,131
You got
the tiny Post-its!
12
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:38,136
Oh, awesome!
For our tiny bulletin board.
13
00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:40,339
And I have
a dentist appointment
14
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:43,508
that got moved
to Tuesday at 4pm.
15
00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:47,512
"Don't floss before you come in.
It makes your gums bloody."
16
00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:48,946
Ohh!
17
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,682
Bottom line,
together, Elliot and I
18
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:53,218
are the greatest co-chief
residents of all time.
19
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,454
You two are,
without a doubt,
20
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,089
the worst co-chief
residents of all time.
21
00:00:58,191 --> 00:00:59,758
In case
you haven't noticed,
22
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:03,094
we've got ourselves one hospital
chock-full of monkey interns,
23
00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:04,529
and news flash,
24
00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:07,632
your job is to catch
whatever they're flinging.
25
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:11,369
Coffee talk, ladies,
is now officially... over!
26
00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:15,073
Get your asses to work. Now.
27
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:19,645
- Cream?
- Please.
28
00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,613
Yup, not even
Dr. Cox could faze us,
29
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,715
because we had every
facet of this job down.
30
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:27,386
We figured out a fair way to
schedule all the interns' shifts.
31
00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:29,954
OK, whoever gets Dr. Reid's
scrub top back to her first
32
00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:33,425
doesn't have to work this
weekend. Commence the scuffle.
33
00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:36,295
Hmm. Hope it
doesn't rain today.
34
00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:39,364
Me too.
35
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,900
We knew how to protect
the interns from Dr. Kelso.
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00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:43,902
Look, Brent, is it?
37
00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:46,938
Son, please tell me you come
with a money-back guarantee,
38
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,841
because I'd like
to get something useful
39
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,443
like a can of Brent remover.
40
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:54,780
- I mean, for God's...
- Sake, Brent!
41
00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:56,715
When are you gonna
wake up and use that...
42
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,217
...rock that you have
been calling your skull?
43
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:00,285
We got this, sir.
44
00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:01,720
I mean,
even a blind squirrel
45
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,055
occasionally finds a nut...
46
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:04,856
He's gone. He's gone.
47
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,858
Look, Brent,
you are doing fine.
48
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:11,129
Still, it's not like we didn't
keep the interns on their toes.
49
00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:15,000
So, Lonnie, get in here and see
the effects of cirrhosis of the liver.
50
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:16,734
- Aah!
- Aah!
51
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:19,170
J.D., you knew
I was gonna do that.
52
00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:22,274
But it was still
very startling.
53
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:24,843
Here's your shirt,
Dr. Reid.
54
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:28,179
Wow, Daisy. Enjoy your weekend,
you little scrapper.
55
00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:29,915
Now, Daisy,
I'm supposed to ask you,
56
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,950
can Lonnie have
his lower lip back?
57
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:33,251
It's my trophy.
58
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,186
- Ah.
- Ah.
59
00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:37,956
Hey, this guy's coding.
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00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,992
Don't get me wrong,
I can handle a code,
61
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:41,793
but every so often,
every single thing
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00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:44,763
that can conceivably go wrong
with a patient goes wrong at once.
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00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:46,397
- He's in VF.
- We've lost an airway.
64
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:49,133
- He's blown a pupil.
- OK, just give me a second, all right?
65
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:52,203
I call these "train-wreck
codes," and they're not my forte.
66
00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:54,339
Luckily, that's when
Elliot is at her best.
67
00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:57,109
I've got your back. Laverne,
bolus with amiodarone.
68
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:59,945
Grab me central line kit. I'll bag
him. Run the fluids wide open.
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00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:04,015
I honestly didn't understand how
she could do so many things at once.
70
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:12,491
Fourteen across. Four letters.
Band that sang Rosanna.
71
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,227
TOTO!
72
00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:19,030
T-O-T-O. TOTO.
73
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:22,601
OK. He's stable.
74
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,170
My problem is I've never
been much of a multitasker.
75
00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:27,806
For instance,
I can't eat and watch TV,
76
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:29,807
or drive my scooter
and answer my phone.
77
00:03:29,909 --> 00:03:31,977
Hello? Whoa!
78
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:33,278
The throttle's stuck!
79
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,516
Look out! Look out!
Look out! Look out! Look out!
80
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:39,251
Look out! Look out...
81
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,152
Scared Lonnie again.
82
00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:42,687
Whoa! Throttle! Throttle!
83
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:45,290
Throttle's stuck!
Tater-Tots. Whoa!
84
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,425
Over here. You can
get back outside.
85
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,728
Whoa!
86
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,837
Whoever this is, you are not gonna
believe what just happened to me.
87
00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:03,241
I believe it. It was cool.
88
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:05,010
Janitor.
89
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,914
Ambrosia.
90
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:12,283
♪ I can't do this
all on my own ♪
91
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:16,187
♪ No, I know
I'm no Superman ♪
92
00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:21,493
♪ I'm no Superman ♪
93
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,999
- Thank you, Janitor.
- Mm-hmm.
94
00:04:31,237 --> 00:04:32,437
Classic Janitor.
95
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:33,972
If it ain't broke,
don't fix it.
96
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:36,575
That guy that crashed
this morning is doing great.
97
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,142
Oh, Barbie.
98
00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:40,578
Maybe you can take a break
from congratulating yourself
99
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,981
and figure out what's wrong
with Miss Kasuba there,
100
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:47,618
seeing as you're her doctor and
she's been in the ICU for three days.
101
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:50,322
We're, um,
running lots of tests.
102
00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:52,691
Tests? Oh, ho-ho! Goodie!
103
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,525
And what exactly
will you be looking for?
104
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,795
And if it's the slowest
doctor in the hospital,
105
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:59,498
then, ding ding ding ding,
106
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,633
I already found her.
Figure it out.
107
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,301
This is why
it doesn't bother me
108
00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:05,837
that Elliot is much better
with train-wreck codes.
109
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:08,639
Her biggest weakness
is my biggest strength:
110
00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:09,941
Diagnosis.
111
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:13,278
Elliot, if you need help,
just ask Dr. Diagnosis.
112
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:16,547
You could be my sidekick,
Bangs McCoy.
113
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,317
Lately
it seemed like Turk
114
00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:21,720
was being a little casual
about his diabetes.
115
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,088
OK, you all
know the rules.
116
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,023
I test my blood sugar,
you bet high or low
117
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,991
and 25 percent
goes to diabetes.
118
00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:28,593
Because
if we all work hard,
119
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:31,830
together, I can get
a big-ass flat screen.
120
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,464
- That's right, baby.
- Mm-hmm.
121
00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:34,899
I want high.
122
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:37,568
Low and slow,
that's his tempo.
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00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:38,904
This game is sick.
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00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,171
High.
125
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,540
One ninety-four.
126
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:42,808
- Yes!
- Ahh!
127
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,909
- Give me some, Laverne.
- It's that high, baby?
128
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,978
You've been sneaking
brownies, haven't you?
129
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,747
Well, don't think
that when you go blind
130
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,849
I'm gonna go get you
no seeing-eye dog.
131
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:54,352
- I'm gonna name him Gizmo.
- That's what we were gonna name our robot.
132
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:56,521
When we get the robot,
we'll just name him Tupac.
133
00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:58,490
"Tupac, may I please
have some waffles?"
134
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,558
"Would you like some syrup?"
135
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:03,561
Yeah, that'll be fine.
It'll work. It's good.
136
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,801
Maybe Ms. Kasuba has
a perinephric abscess.
137
00:06:10,903 --> 00:06:12,804
Nah, her pain is central,
not near the back.
138
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:16,240
Come on, Bangs. You know what
helps me when I'm diagnosing?
139
00:06:16,342 --> 00:06:19,644
Mentally picturing
everything.
140
00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,112
Like those
sugar packets there.
141
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:23,181
How do you think
they got there?
142
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,319
Somebody probably
knocked them over.
143
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:33,591
I don't think so. You see,
the packets are neatly stacked.
144
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,660
Plus, that coffee cup
has a lipstick
145
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:38,262
of a certain very hot
Nurse Tisdale.
146
00:06:38,364 --> 00:06:40,264
Ooh.
147
00:06:40,366 --> 00:06:43,201
If you're looking for sugar,
there's some on the floor.
148
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:49,741
♪ Thong ♪
149
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:54,512
- It's the classic Todd thong-sugar trap.
- Wow.
150
00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:57,148
Now, let's apply the
same thing to Mrs. Kasuba.
151
00:06:57,251 --> 00:07:00,285
We know this isn't the first time
she's experienced abdominal pain.
152
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:02,086
What else do we
know about her?
153
00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:05,823
You know what, J.D.? I've
got to run. Are you OK here?
154
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:08,026
Yeah. I got this.
155
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:10,628
Say,
156
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:13,931
that was some real Nancy Drew
stuff there... Nancy.
157
00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:15,700
I mean,
absolutely irrelevant
158
00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:18,503
as far as medicine goes,
but damn amusing.
159
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,939
Don't feel weird because you're
threatened by my gift. Many are.
160
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,976
Did you feel that you
weren't quite annoying enough
161
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:27,712
without adding a delusional
sense of grandeur?
162
00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:30,748
Because I promise you,
you are annoying enough.
163
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:33,017
In fact, you're
the number one contender
164
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,119
for the middleweight
annoyance crown.
165
00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,088
Well, you're
the number one jealous...
166
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:40,525
...weight for the jealous...
weight jealous champ.
167
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,295
He's done it!
He's done it!
168
00:07:43,397 --> 00:07:48,199
Dorian's the most
annoying man in the world!
169
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,668
Who would have
ever thought
170
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,636
a journeyman annoyer
like Dorian?
171
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:55,406
You are a close second.
172
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:56,708
I have a couple announcements.
173
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,543
There's a serious
problem around here
174
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,645
with not getting
to know our patients.
175
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:02,914
Yes, the doctor told you
to administer Haldol,
176
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,349
but why is he prescribing it?
177
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:06,418
Does the patient have
a chance of sundowning
178
00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:09,087
or is he prone to psychotic
breaks and needs to be tied down?
179
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,256
You have to ask these
questions, right, Tammy?
180
00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:15,594
Child, we are swamped. Where do you
think we're gonna get that kind of time?
181
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:18,563
Laverne, if you care,
you'll go the extra mile,
182
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,999
- like my husband. Turk?
- Hmm?
183
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,835
You have three patients on
the floor. What can you tell us?
184
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:26,137
Well, I'm cutting out
that guy's appendix,
185
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:28,172
I'm sewing up
her lacerated spleen
186
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:30,842
and I'm slicing off
that dude's foot.
187
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,677
Great. And why are you
doing those things?
188
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:35,546
Because it says so
on the charts.
189
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,882
What'd I do?
190
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:41,820
J.D., you up
for some coffee?
191
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:45,156
I can't. I've almost got Mrs.
Kasuba's condition figured out.
192
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,158
Hey, I'll join you
for a cup of mud.
193
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,694
Great! Meet me downstairs
in five minutes.
194
00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:52,931
I'll be there. Just let me
wash this glue off my hands.
195
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:58,102
What was he gluing?
196
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,372
Not again.
197
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:05,343
You're going on a date
with the janitor!
198
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:08,413
J.D., it's just coffee.
It's not a date.
199
00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:13,985
Milady.
200
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,954
I have to go.
201
00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:21,392
Baby, don't be mad.
You know about surgeons.
202
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:24,061
We're hammers
and our patients are nails,
203
00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:25,896
and hammers don't
get to know nails.
204
00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:28,933
They hammer them. Why?
Because... hammers.
205
00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:31,636
For the last time, Turk, I'm not
gonna call you "The Hammer."
206
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,639
Look, I was trying to make a point to my
nurses and I needed you to back me up.
207
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,642
But none of the other hammers
get to know their patients.
208
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,945
Well, none of them get to do
what you did to me last night, either.
209
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,382
Come on, papi.
210
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,017
Give it to me.
211
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,620
See? When I clap my hands
at the same time,
212
00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:50,922
it looks totally real.
213
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,991
I know! Let's go
freak out J.D.!
214
00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:56,694
OK. Fine, I'll try.
215
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:59,097
One condition.
216
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,464
Give me some.
217
00:10:00,566 --> 00:10:02,133
Aah!
218
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,768
Oh, my God!
219
00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:07,372
I think it,
and she does it.
220
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:09,274
Acute intermittent
porphyria!
221
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:13,011
I figured it out! All right, who's
got Dr. Cox's pager number?
222
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:16,580
Who am I kidding? I got
my Perry's pager song.
223
00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:18,817
♪ Dr. Cox at my door
Pager 324 ♪
224
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:20,885
There it is. Laverne,
I'm gonna need you to get
225
00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:23,721
Mrs. Kasuba started on IV,
dextrose and hematin.
226
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:25,490
Dr. Reid already
ordered that.
227
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:27,158
She what?
228
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:31,662
Um, you know what, J.D.?
I've got to run.
229
00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:33,064
Are you OK here?
230
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:35,332
She figured it out before me.
231
00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:39,203
There are a lot of things that
can knock a guy on his ass...
232
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:43,707
All right, now,
before we start,
233
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:47,345
just in case my wife asks,
and she probably will,
234
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:49,213
what did this guy do
to get his foot cut off?
235
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:52,650
...whether it's catching a glimpse
of what the future might hold...
236
00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:54,385
He has diabetes.
237
00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:02,726
...or realizing you've just done the
most embarrassing thing in your life.
238
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:03,827
Stupid Janitor.
239
00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:08,399
Stupid, stupid, stupid,
stupid, stupid.
240
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,301
But even that's not
as bad as it can get.
241
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:11,803
Why didn't you tell me?
242
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:14,739
I thought that after I bailed
you out of that train-wreck code
243
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,440
that you could,
you know, use a win.
244
00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:18,075
Great diagnosis there, Barbie.
245
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,277
Wasn't me.
J.D. figured it out.
246
00:11:20,379 --> 00:11:24,248
Well, then, nice job, Nancy.
247
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:28,319
The worst thing is realizing
when a friend is taking pity on you.
248
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,858
- I've never been a great liar.
- Lookin' straight, Bruce.
249
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:37,695
That's why I knew it'd be better
for me if I just fessed up to Dr. Cox.
250
00:11:38,998 --> 00:11:41,566
Elliot diagnosed
Mrs. Kasuba, not me.
251
00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:44,335
I know. And your
guilty anguish is,
252
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,037
mmm mmm mmm, delicious.
253
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:48,572
It's like a little mini meal
between lunch and dinner.
254
00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:51,576
Quite frankly, it's all I can do
not to grind pepper on your head.
255
00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:54,445
I don't get it. When did she
become a better doctor than me?
256
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,515
Probably during one of those
countless times you were goofing off.
257
00:11:57,617 --> 00:12:02,319
Hey, as soon as I step foot in
this hospital, I'm all business.
258
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:05,256
Good morning,
Dr. Cox,
259
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:09,994
from the world's
most giant doctor.
260
00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:13,431
Well, that was outside the
hospital. Plus, Elliot was the legs.
261
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:16,567
Sure, she's skinny, but
she's thick through the trunk.
262
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:19,204
If you could just help me
with these train-wreck codes.
263
00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:22,907
You're finally at that stage where you
and your equally undistinguished colleagues
264
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:25,676
have all had enough training
to be able to help each other.
265
00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:27,812
So no matter how
humiliating it may seem,
266
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:30,348
if you know somebody
who's better than you,
267
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,417
and I'm bettin'
that you do,
268
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:35,486
you had best tuck that
ridiculously feminine tail of yours
269
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,922
between your legs
and go ask her for help.
270
00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:40,591
I'm thinking
that's just about it.
271
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:43,560
Yup. I, uh... Gosh,
I'm all out of speeches.
272
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:46,063
I don't think
I have another one on me.
273
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:47,731
I... I don't.
274
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:51,269
The... Oh. These
are my goodbye guns.
275
00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:59,344
Those aren't real guns.
276
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:04,849
Why is my stapler
on the floor?
277
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,418
♪ Thong ♪
278
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,255
Face five. Oh, yeah!
279
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,159
Oh, you taught Todd
the slap thing?
280
00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:17,828
- Nope. How was surgery?
- Oh, it was fine.
281
00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:20,365
Honey bear,
you look blue.
282
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,999
- Have a cookie.
- Nuh-uh-uh, Laverne.
283
00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:23,768
No more jacking up
my man's blood sugar
284
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,936
just so you can
buy yourself a camper.
285
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,639
So this is all
a big joke to you guys?
286
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:31,876
'Cause this is my life
and I don't think it's funny.
287
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,344
Now I gotta try
to get back in
288
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:37,181
on that craps game
in the basement.
289
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:38,816
I don't know.
290
00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:41,986
This whole blonde doctor
situation has me mortified.
291
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:44,255
I gathered
the brain trust here
292
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,791
to help me figure out
a way out of this.
293
00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:47,992
Uh-oh, bro.
294
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:49,627
There she is.
295
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,228
You want me
to hobble her?
296
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,330
That's not hobbling,
that's poking.
297
00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:56,634
What's the matter with you? Here's a
chance to learn a lesson as a group, OK?
298
00:13:56,736 --> 00:14:00,137
Sometimes you just gotta face the
music and own up to what you've done.
299
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:07,278
Hi, blonde doctor. Um, before
when we almost had coffee,
300
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,346
uh, I feel like I made you
feel uncomfortable.
301
00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:11,782
No. I wasn't, um...
302
00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:14,118
You know, the only reason
I was wearing a suit at all
303
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:18,156
was because our, uh...
a cappella band was practicing.
304
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:21,159
Oh, that's great!
What's your band's name?
305
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,460
Uh, it's Hibbleton.
306
00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:26,297
Yeah, yeah. And, um, I don't
think it's going too far to say
307
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:30,868
that we're the best
hospital employee band in town.
308
00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:35,306
♪ Oh, really? ♪
309
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:38,976
- I'll clear his airway.
- His O2 stat is dropping. His abdomen is distended.
310
00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:41,846
We need you to do a lavage.
What are you gonna do?
311
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,448
Damn it!
312
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,717
J.D., it's OK.
It's good practice.
313
00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:47,218
That's why
we're down here.
314
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,421
You know, I don't really like you
guys playing with my cadavers.
315
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:53,291
Really, Doug? How come that one
over there has a soda in his hand?
316
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,059
He keeps it cold.
317
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:56,827
And how come you were
sitting in a circle
318
00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:58,696
with three corpses
playing Texas Hold 'Em?
319
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:01,565
Just call first from now on.
320
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:04,168
I don't know what to do when
everything goes wrong at once.
321
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:07,605
- It's overwhelming.
- You want to know what my big secret is?
322
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:11,108
Just take one deep breath.
323
00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:14,846
Everything will slow down and you
can just tackle each thing as it comes.
324
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:17,881
That's your big secret?
Breathing?
325
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:20,985
Why do you have such a
problem with me teaching you stuff?
326
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,653
It's just that
you're a little smug.
327
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,588
You called yourself
Dr. Diagnosis
328
00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:26,290
and made me
your sidekick.
329
00:15:26,392 --> 00:15:29,460
J.D., you've been the golden boy
around here for the past three years
330
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:31,495
while I've cried in closets
and hid from Dr. Cox
331
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:34,766
and relied on you every
single day to get me through it.
332
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:36,968
Now that I'm finally doing
well enough to pay you back,
333
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:39,770
you can tell me why you're
being an unbelievable jerk.
334
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:42,206
You're the one who's
supposed to struggle.
335
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:58,089
Baby,
what's going on with you?
336
00:15:58,191 --> 00:15:59,757
Ever since
I got this thing,
337
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:01,558
I've been joking
around about it,
338
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:05,229
sneaking cookies
and hiding from it.
339
00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:08,732
All because I'm scared
to ask myself the questions.
340
00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:10,367
Is it gonna get worse?
341
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:13,037
Or are our kids
gonna have it?
342
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:16,373
Or how old am I gonna be
when it finally gets me?
343
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:19,810
You don't understand.
344
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:22,146
I don't understand?
345
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:24,849
Turk, look at me.
I'm a WOD.
346
00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,350
I keep trying
to tell you this,
347
00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:29,020
but it's the mirror
in the bathroom, baby.
348
00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:31,522
You haven't gained
a pound since I met you.
349
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:34,958
No, I'm a WOD.
"Wife of diabetic."
350
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:38,029
That's what they call us in
all the diabetic chat rooms.
351
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:41,899
I spend a lot of time
on the computer
352
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:46,938
talking about how proud I am of my
husband and how he's handling this.
353
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:51,442
How he's able to make
jokes about it and money.
354
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:56,447
It's OK
to be afraid. I am.
355
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:59,450
But I have to tell you,
356
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:01,085
I don't know
what I would do
357
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,853
if you suddenly
became someone
358
00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:05,556
who lets
something own you.
359
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,931
♪ Ah, but would I like it ♪
360
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:18,802
♪ No, not much ♪
361
00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:23,941
- ♪ No ♪
- - ♪ No, no, not ♪
362
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,610
♪ Much ♪
363
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:29,947
♪ No, not much ♪
364
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,882
Ohh!
365
00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:37,421
Yeah. Well, you win.
366
00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:39,056
Whoo!
367
00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:40,824
Your band didn't even sing yet.
368
00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:42,159
Aw.
369
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:43,560
There's no need. You win.
370
00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:44,928
Whoo!
371
00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:47,498
Come on, Janitor.
372
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,333
For me.
373
00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:53,037
One second. Bring it in.
374
00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:54,038
Oh, God.
375
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:55,906
OK, I don't ask for much,
376
00:17:56,009 --> 00:17:58,775
just a little help with a stain
every now and then.
377
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:01,478
I'd like to be able
to communicate with animals.
378
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:06,483
But right now, oh, boy,
we need a miracle.
379
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:09,319
Hibbleton,
whatever that means, on three.
380
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,388
One, two, three.
381
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,991
- Hibbleton.
- Hibbleton.
382
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,360
Ha! Ahem.
383
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,098
Ha... ba... ba...
384
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,904
Ba ba ba...
385
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:32,343
♪ Ba ba ba ba
Barbara Ann ♪
386
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,845
♪ Ba ba ba ba
Barbara Ann ♪
387
00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:37,948
♪ Ba ba ba ba
Barbara Ann... ♪
388
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:39,317
♪ Barbara Ann ♪
389
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:42,587
♪ Take my hand ♪
390
00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:45,589
♪ Barbara Ann ♪
391
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:47,191
♪ You got me rockin'
and a-rollin' ♪
392
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,093
♪ Rockin' and a-reelin'
Barbara Ann ♪
393
00:18:49,195 --> 00:18:52,029
♪ Ba ba ba ba
Barbara Ann ♪
394
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:56,901
Hibbleton!
395
00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:01,239
I suddenly found myself
looking down on Mr. Kravitz,
396
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,674
Elliot's train-wreck patient
from this morning.
397
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:06,143
Apparently, the irony
wasn't lost on him, either.
398
00:19:07,613 --> 00:19:11,181
You've got to be kidding,
Mr. Kravitz. Twice?
399
00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:15,886
- BP's dropping.
- He's becoming bradycardic.
400
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,356
- Doctor!
- Uh...
401
00:19:19,425 --> 00:19:22,526
♪ A young quarterback ♪
402
00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:26,764
♪ Waits for the snap ♪
403
00:19:26,865 --> 00:19:29,099
And things
did slow down.
404
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:34,438
♪ He's got all kinds of time ♪
405
00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:37,908
♪ He's got all kinds of time ♪
406
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:41,279
♪ All kinds of time ♪
407
00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:46,817
♪ He's got all kinds of time ♪
408
00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:49,186
♪ All kinds of time ♪
409
00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:52,990
Dopamine. Run it wide open. Get
me an airway. I need a pacing wire.
410
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:54,525
No pulse.
411
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,860
I think the second
you stop fighting it,
412
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:58,562
time really is on your side...
413
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:04,501
...and you can go on
being who you are...
414
00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:11,008
...or keep enjoying
that little crush of yours.
415
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:12,609
To you.
416
00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:14,177
Cheers.
417
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:18,316
What do you say we go for
the first ever triple giant doctor?
418
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:19,916
Oh, Elliot,
that's impossible.
419
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:22,052
I know you've
got strong legs and...
420
00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:24,788
Hmm.
421
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,824
I need you to place an IV
on the second floor. Room 208.
422
00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:30,427
Greetings! Ha-ha!
423
00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:34,065
I'm the world's most,
most giant doct...
424
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:36,067
Uhh! Oww! Uhh!
425
00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:37,334
Little help.
426
00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:39,503
Little help. Yeah.
427
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:42,373
Sir. Not that kind of help.
428
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:43,607
Aah!
429
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,911
If I let go,
will you guys catch me?
430
00:20:48,013 --> 00:20:50,280
No.
431
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:53,384
Well, I'm going for it anyway!
432
00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:54,785
Ohh!
433
00:20:55,888 --> 00:20:58,055
Lonnie? Lonnie?
434
00:20:58,157 --> 00:21:00,725
I hate you, J.D.