1 00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:04,436 It's been a long road, but over the past two months, 2 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,871 Elliot and I have totally rebuilt our friendship. 3 00:00:06,973 --> 00:00:09,942 Incoming. 4 00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:12,444 Good morning. 5 00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:15,147 Uhh! 6 00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:17,515 Co-chiefy, got you a little somethin'-somethin'. 7 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:18,650 Thank you. 8 00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:23,055 And I actually got you a little something. 9 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,959 A magnifying glass? 10 00:00:28,061 --> 00:00:30,596 Yes... for these. 11 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:33,131 You got the tiny Post-its! 12 00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:38,136 Oh, awesome! For our tiny bulletin board. 13 00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:40,339 And I have a dentist appointment 14 00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:43,508 that got moved to Tuesday at 4pm. 15 00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:47,512 "Don't floss before you come in. It makes your gums bloody." 16 00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:48,946 Ohh! 17 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,682 Bottom line, together, Elliot and I 18 00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:53,218 are the greatest co-chief residents of all time. 19 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,454 You two are, without a doubt, 20 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,089 the worst co-chief residents of all time. 21 00:00:58,191 --> 00:00:59,758 In case you haven't noticed, 22 00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:03,094 we've got ourselves one hospital chock-full of monkey interns, 23 00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:04,529 and news flash, 24 00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:07,632 your job is to catch whatever they're flinging. 25 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:11,369 Coffee talk, ladies, is now officially... over! 26 00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:15,073 Get your asses to work. Now. 27 00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:19,645 - Cream? - Please. 28 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,613 Yup, not even Dr. Cox could faze us, 29 00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,715 because we had every facet of this job down. 30 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:27,386 We figured out a fair way to schedule all the interns' shifts. 31 00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:29,954 OK, whoever gets Dr. Reid's scrub top back to her first 32 00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:33,425 doesn't have to work this weekend. Commence the scuffle. 33 00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:36,295 Hmm. Hope it doesn't rain today. 34 00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:39,364 Me too. 35 00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,900 We knew how to protect the interns from Dr. Kelso. 36 00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:43,902 Look, Brent, is it? 37 00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:46,938 Son, please tell me you come with a money-back guarantee, 38 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,841 because I'd like to get something useful 39 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,443 like a can of Brent remover. 40 00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:54,780 - I mean, for God's... - Sake, Brent! 41 00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:56,715 When are you gonna wake up and use that... 42 00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,217 ...rock that you have been calling your skull? 43 00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:00,285 We got this, sir. 44 00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:01,720 I mean, even a blind squirrel 45 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,055 occasionally finds a nut... 46 00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:04,856 He's gone. He's gone. 47 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,858 Look, Brent, you are doing fine. 48 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:11,129 Still, it's not like we didn't keep the interns on their toes. 49 00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:15,000 So, Lonnie, get in here and see the effects of cirrhosis of the liver. 50 00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:16,734 - Aah! - Aah! 51 00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:19,170 J.D., you knew I was gonna do that. 52 00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:22,274 But it was still very startling. 53 00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:24,843 Here's your shirt, Dr. Reid. 54 00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:28,179 Wow, Daisy. Enjoy your weekend, you little scrapper. 55 00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:29,915 Now, Daisy, I'm supposed to ask you, 56 00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,950 can Lonnie have his lower lip back? 57 00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:33,251 It's my trophy. 58 00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,186 - Ah. - Ah. 59 00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:37,956 Hey, this guy's coding. 60 00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,992 Don't get me wrong, I can handle a code, 61 00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:41,793 but every so often, every single thing 62 00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:44,763 that can conceivably go wrong with a patient goes wrong at once. 63 00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:46,397 - He's in VF. - We've lost an airway. 64 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:49,133 - He's blown a pupil. - OK, just give me a second, all right? 65 00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:52,203 I call these "train-wreck codes," and they're not my forte. 66 00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:54,339 Luckily, that's when Elliot is at her best. 67 00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:57,109 I've got your back. Laverne, bolus with amiodarone. 68 00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:59,945 Grab me central line kit. I'll bag him. Run the fluids wide open. 69 00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:04,015 I honestly didn't understand how she could do so many things at once. 70 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:12,491 Fourteen across. Four letters. Band that sang Rosanna. 71 00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,227 TOTO! 72 00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:19,030 T-O-T-O. TOTO. 73 00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:22,601 OK. He's stable. 74 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,170 My problem is I've never been much of a multitasker. 75 00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:27,806 For instance, I can't eat and watch TV, 76 00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:29,807 or drive my scooter and answer my phone. 77 00:03:29,909 --> 00:03:31,977 Hello? Whoa! 78 00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:33,278 The throttle's stuck! 79 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,516 Look out! Look out! Look out! Look out! Look out! 80 00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:39,251 Look out! Look out... 81 00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,152 Scared Lonnie again. 82 00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:42,687 Whoa! Throttle! Throttle! 83 00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:45,290 Throttle's stuck! Tater-Tots. Whoa! 84 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,425 Over here. You can get back outside. 85 00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,728 Whoa! 86 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,837 Whoever this is, you are not gonna believe what just happened to me. 87 00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:03,241 I believe it. It was cool. 88 00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:05,010 Janitor. 89 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,914 Ambrosia. 90 00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:12,283 ♪ I can't do this all on my own ♪ 91 00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:16,187 ♪ No, I know I'm no Superman ♪ 92 00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:21,493 ♪ I'm no Superman ♪ 93 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,999 - Thank you, Janitor. - Mm-hmm. 94 00:04:31,237 --> 00:04:32,437 Classic Janitor. 95 00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:33,972 If it ain't broke, don't fix it. 96 00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:36,575 That guy that crashed this morning is doing great. 97 00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,142 Oh, Barbie. 98 00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:40,578 Maybe you can take a break from congratulating yourself 99 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,981 and figure out what's wrong with Miss Kasuba there, 100 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:47,618 seeing as you're her doctor and she's been in the ICU for three days. 101 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:50,322 We're, um, running lots of tests. 102 00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:52,691 Tests? Oh, ho-ho! Goodie! 103 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,525 And what exactly will you be looking for? 104 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,795 And if it's the slowest doctor in the hospital, 105 00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:59,498 then, ding ding ding ding, 106 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,633 I already found her. Figure it out. 107 00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,301 This is why it doesn't bother me 108 00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:05,837 that Elliot is much better with train-wreck codes. 109 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:08,639 Her biggest weakness is my biggest strength: 110 00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:09,941 Diagnosis. 111 00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:13,278 Elliot, if you need help, just ask Dr. Diagnosis. 112 00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:16,547 You could be my sidekick, Bangs McCoy. 113 00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,317 Lately it seemed like Turk 114 00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:21,720 was being a little casual about his diabetes. 115 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,088 OK, you all know the rules. 116 00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,023 I test my blood sugar, you bet high or low 117 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,991 and 25 percent goes to diabetes. 118 00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:28,593 Because if we all work hard, 119 00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:31,830 together, I can get a big-ass flat screen. 120 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,464 - That's right, baby. - Mm-hmm. 121 00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:34,899 I want high. 122 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:37,568 Low and slow, that's his tempo. 123 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:38,904 This game is sick. 124 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,171 High. 125 00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,540 One ninety-four. 126 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:42,808 - Yes! - Ahh! 127 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,909 - Give me some, Laverne. - It's that high, baby? 128 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,978 You've been sneaking brownies, haven't you? 129 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,747 Well, don't think that when you go blind 130 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,849 I'm gonna go get you no seeing-eye dog. 131 00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:54,352 - I'm gonna name him Gizmo. - That's what we were gonna name our robot. 132 00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:56,521 When we get the robot, we'll just name him Tupac. 133 00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:58,490 "Tupac, may I please have some waffles?" 134 00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,558 "Would you like some syrup?" 135 00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:03,561 Yeah, that'll be fine. It'll work. It's good. 136 00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,801 Maybe Ms. Kasuba has a perinephric abscess. 137 00:06:10,903 --> 00:06:12,804 Nah, her pain is central, not near the back. 138 00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:16,240 Come on, Bangs. You know what helps me when I'm diagnosing? 139 00:06:16,342 --> 00:06:19,644 Mentally picturing everything. 140 00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,112 Like those sugar packets there. 141 00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:23,181 How do you think they got there? 142 00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,319 Somebody probably knocked them over. 143 00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:33,591 I don't think so. You see, the packets are neatly stacked. 144 00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,660 Plus, that coffee cup has a lipstick 145 00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:38,262 of a certain very hot Nurse Tisdale. 146 00:06:38,364 --> 00:06:40,264 Ooh. 147 00:06:40,366 --> 00:06:43,201 If you're looking for sugar, there's some on the floor. 148 00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:49,741 ♪ Thong ♪ 149 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:54,512 - It's the classic Todd thong-sugar trap. - Wow. 150 00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:57,148 Now, let's apply the same thing to Mrs. Kasuba. 151 00:06:57,251 --> 00:07:00,285 We know this isn't the first time she's experienced abdominal pain. 152 00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:02,086 What else do we know about her? 153 00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:05,823 You know what, J.D.? I've got to run. Are you OK here? 154 00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:08,026 Yeah. I got this. 155 00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:10,628 Say, 156 00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:13,931 that was some real Nancy Drew stuff there... Nancy. 157 00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:15,700 I mean, absolutely irrelevant 158 00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:18,503 as far as medicine goes, but damn amusing. 159 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,939 Don't feel weird because you're threatened by my gift. Many are. 160 00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,976 Did you feel that you weren't quite annoying enough 161 00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:27,712 without adding a delusional sense of grandeur? 162 00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:30,748 Because I promise you, you are annoying enough. 163 00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:33,017 In fact, you're the number one contender 164 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,119 for the middleweight annoyance crown. 165 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,088 Well, you're the number one jealous... 166 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:40,525 ...weight for the jealous... weight jealous champ. 167 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,295 He's done it! He's done it! 168 00:07:43,397 --> 00:07:48,199 Dorian's the most annoying man in the world! 169 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,668 Who would have ever thought 170 00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,636 a journeyman annoyer like Dorian? 171 00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:55,406 You are a close second. 172 00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:56,708 I have a couple announcements. 173 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,543 There's a serious problem around here 174 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,645 with not getting to know our patients. 175 00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:02,914 Yes, the doctor told you to administer Haldol, 176 00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,349 but why is he prescribing it? 177 00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:06,418 Does the patient have a chance of sundowning 178 00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:09,087 or is he prone to psychotic breaks and needs to be tied down? 179 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,256 You have to ask these questions, right, Tammy? 180 00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:15,594 Child, we are swamped. Where do you think we're gonna get that kind of time? 181 00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:18,563 Laverne, if you care, you'll go the extra mile, 182 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,999 - like my husband. Turk? - Hmm? 183 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,835 You have three patients on the floor. What can you tell us? 184 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:26,137 Well, I'm cutting out that guy's appendix, 185 00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:28,172 I'm sewing up her lacerated spleen 186 00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:30,842 and I'm slicing off that dude's foot. 187 00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,677 Great. And why are you doing those things? 188 00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:35,546 Because it says so on the charts. 189 00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,882 What'd I do? 190 00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:41,820 J.D., you up for some coffee? 191 00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:45,156 I can't. I've almost got Mrs. Kasuba's condition figured out. 192 00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,158 Hey, I'll join you for a cup of mud. 193 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,694 Great! Meet me downstairs in five minutes. 194 00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:52,931 I'll be there. Just let me wash this glue off my hands. 195 00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:58,102 What was he gluing? 196 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,372 Not again. 197 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:05,343 You're going on a date with the janitor! 198 00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:08,413 J.D., it's just coffee. It's not a date. 199 00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:13,985 Milady. 200 00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,954 I have to go. 201 00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:21,392 Baby, don't be mad. You know about surgeons. 202 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:24,061 We're hammers and our patients are nails, 203 00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:25,896 and hammers don't get to know nails. 204 00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:28,933 They hammer them. Why? Because... hammers. 205 00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:31,636 For the last time, Turk, I'm not gonna call you "The Hammer." 206 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,639 Look, I was trying to make a point to my nurses and I needed you to back me up. 207 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,642 But none of the other hammers get to know their patients. 208 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,945 Well, none of them get to do what you did to me last night, either. 209 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,382 Come on, papi. 210 00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,017 Give it to me. 211 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,620 See? When I clap my hands at the same time, 212 00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:50,922 it looks totally real. 213 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,991 I know! Let's go freak out J.D.! 214 00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:56,694 OK. Fine, I'll try. 215 00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:59,097 One condition. 216 00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,464 Give me some. 217 00:10:00,566 --> 00:10:02,133 Aah! 218 00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,768 Oh, my God! 219 00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:07,372 I think it, and she does it. 220 00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:09,274 Acute intermittent porphyria! 221 00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:13,011 I figured it out! All right, who's got Dr. Cox's pager number? 222 00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:16,580 Who am I kidding? I got my Perry's pager song. 223 00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:18,817 ♪ Dr. Cox at my door Pager 324 ♪ 224 00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:20,885 There it is. Laverne, I'm gonna need you to get 225 00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:23,721 Mrs. Kasuba started on IV, dextrose and hematin. 226 00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:25,490 Dr. Reid already ordered that. 227 00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:27,158 She what? 228 00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:31,662 Um, you know what, J.D.? I've got to run. 229 00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:33,064 Are you OK here? 230 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:35,332 She figured it out before me. 231 00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:39,203 There are a lot of things that can knock a guy on his ass... 232 00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:43,707 All right, now, before we start, 233 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:47,345 just in case my wife asks, and she probably will, 234 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:49,213 what did this guy do to get his foot cut off? 235 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:52,650 ...whether it's catching a glimpse of what the future might hold... 236 00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:54,385 He has diabetes. 237 00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:02,726 ...or realizing you've just done the most embarrassing thing in your life. 238 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:03,827 Stupid Janitor. 239 00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:08,399 Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. 240 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,301 But even that's not as bad as it can get. 241 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:11,803 Why didn't you tell me? 242 00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:14,739 I thought that after I bailed you out of that train-wreck code 243 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,440 that you could, you know, use a win. 244 00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:18,075 Great diagnosis there, Barbie. 245 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,277 Wasn't me. J.D. figured it out. 246 00:11:20,379 --> 00:11:24,248 Well, then, nice job, Nancy. 247 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:28,319 The worst thing is realizing when a friend is taking pity on you. 248 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,858 - I've never been a great liar. - Lookin' straight, Bruce. 249 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:37,695 That's why I knew it'd be better for me if I just fessed up to Dr. Cox. 250 00:11:38,998 --> 00:11:41,566 Elliot diagnosed Mrs. Kasuba, not me. 251 00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:44,335 I know. And your guilty anguish is, 252 00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,037 mmm mmm mmm, delicious. 253 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:48,572 It's like a little mini meal between lunch and dinner. 254 00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:51,576 Quite frankly, it's all I can do not to grind pepper on your head. 255 00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:54,445 I don't get it. When did she become a better doctor than me? 256 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,515 Probably during one of those countless times you were goofing off. 257 00:11:57,617 --> 00:12:02,319 Hey, as soon as I step foot in this hospital, I'm all business. 258 00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:05,256 Good morning, Dr. Cox, 259 00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:09,994 from the world's most giant doctor. 260 00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:13,431 Well, that was outside the hospital. Plus, Elliot was the legs. 261 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:16,567 Sure, she's skinny, but she's thick through the trunk. 262 00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:19,204 If you could just help me with these train-wreck codes. 263 00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:22,907 You're finally at that stage where you and your equally undistinguished colleagues 264 00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:25,676 have all had enough training to be able to help each other. 265 00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:27,812 So no matter how humiliating it may seem, 266 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:30,348 if you know somebody who's better than you, 267 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,417 and I'm bettin' that you do, 268 00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:35,486 you had best tuck that ridiculously feminine tail of yours 269 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,922 between your legs and go ask her for help. 270 00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:40,591 I'm thinking that's just about it. 271 00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:43,560 Yup. I, uh... Gosh, I'm all out of speeches. 272 00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:46,063 I don't think I have another one on me. 273 00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:47,731 I... I don't. 274 00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:51,269 The... Oh. These are my goodbye guns. 275 00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:59,344 Those aren't real guns. 276 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:04,849 Why is my stapler on the floor? 277 00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,418 ♪ Thong ♪ 278 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,255 Face five. Oh, yeah! 279 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,159 Oh, you taught Todd the slap thing? 280 00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:17,828 - Nope. How was surgery? - Oh, it was fine. 281 00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:20,365 Honey bear, you look blue. 282 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,999 - Have a cookie. - Nuh-uh-uh, Laverne. 283 00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:23,768 No more jacking up my man's blood sugar 284 00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,936 just so you can buy yourself a camper. 285 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,639 So this is all a big joke to you guys? 286 00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:31,876 'Cause this is my life and I don't think it's funny. 287 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,344 Now I gotta try to get back in 288 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:37,181 on that craps game in the basement. 289 00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:38,816 I don't know. 290 00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:41,986 This whole blonde doctor situation has me mortified. 291 00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:44,255 I gathered the brain trust here 292 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,791 to help me figure out a way out of this. 293 00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:47,992 Uh-oh, bro. 294 00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:49,627 There she is. 295 00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,228 You want me to hobble her? 296 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,330 That's not hobbling, that's poking. 297 00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:56,634 What's the matter with you? Here's a chance to learn a lesson as a group, OK? 298 00:13:56,736 --> 00:14:00,137 Sometimes you just gotta face the music and own up to what you've done. 299 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:07,278 Hi, blonde doctor. Um, before when we almost had coffee, 300 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,346 uh, I feel like I made you feel uncomfortable. 301 00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:11,782 No. I wasn't, um... 302 00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:14,118 You know, the only reason I was wearing a suit at all 303 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:18,156 was because our, uh... a cappella band was practicing. 304 00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:21,159 Oh, that's great! What's your band's name? 305 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,460 Uh, it's Hibbleton. 306 00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:26,297 Yeah, yeah. And, um, I don't think it's going too far to say 307 00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:30,868 that we're the best hospital employee band in town. 308 00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:35,306 ♪ Oh, really? ♪ 309 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:38,976 - I'll clear his airway. - His O2 stat is dropping. His abdomen is distended. 310 00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:41,846 We need you to do a lavage. What are you gonna do? 311 00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,448 Damn it! 312 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,717 J.D., it's OK. It's good practice. 313 00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:47,218 That's why we're down here. 314 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,421 You know, I don't really like you guys playing with my cadavers. 315 00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:53,291 Really, Doug? How come that one over there has a soda in his hand? 316 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,059 He keeps it cold. 317 00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:56,827 And how come you were sitting in a circle 318 00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:58,696 with three corpses playing Texas Hold 'Em? 319 00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:01,565 Just call first from now on. 320 00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:04,168 I don't know what to do when everything goes wrong at once. 321 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:07,605 - It's overwhelming. - You want to know what my big secret is? 322 00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:11,108 Just take one deep breath. 323 00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:14,846 Everything will slow down and you can just tackle each thing as it comes. 324 00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:17,881 That's your big secret? Breathing? 325 00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:20,985 Why do you have such a problem with me teaching you stuff? 326 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,653 It's just that you're a little smug. 327 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,588 You called yourself Dr. Diagnosis 328 00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:26,290 and made me your sidekick. 329 00:15:26,392 --> 00:15:29,460 J.D., you've been the golden boy around here for the past three years 330 00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:31,495 while I've cried in closets and hid from Dr. Cox 331 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:34,766 and relied on you every single day to get me through it. 332 00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:36,968 Now that I'm finally doing well enough to pay you back, 333 00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:39,770 you can tell me why you're being an unbelievable jerk. 334 00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:42,206 You're the one who's supposed to struggle. 335 00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:58,089 Baby, what's going on with you? 336 00:15:58,191 --> 00:15:59,757 Ever since I got this thing, 337 00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:01,558 I've been joking around about it, 338 00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:05,229 sneaking cookies and hiding from it. 339 00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:08,732 All because I'm scared to ask myself the questions. 340 00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:10,367 Is it gonna get worse? 341 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:13,037 Or are our kids gonna have it? 342 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:16,373 Or how old am I gonna be when it finally gets me? 343 00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:19,810 You don't understand. 344 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:22,146 I don't understand? 345 00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:24,849 Turk, look at me. I'm a WOD. 346 00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,350 I keep trying to tell you this, 347 00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:29,020 but it's the mirror in the bathroom, baby. 348 00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:31,522 You haven't gained a pound since I met you. 349 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:34,958 No, I'm a WOD. "Wife of diabetic." 350 00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:38,029 That's what they call us in all the diabetic chat rooms. 351 00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:41,899 I spend a lot of time on the computer 352 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:46,938 talking about how proud I am of my husband and how he's handling this. 353 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:51,442 How he's able to make jokes about it and money. 354 00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:56,447 It's OK to be afraid. I am. 355 00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:59,450 But I have to tell you, 356 00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:01,085 I don't know what I would do 357 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,853 if you suddenly became someone 358 00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:05,556 who lets something own you. 359 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,931 ♪ Ah, but would I like it ♪ 360 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:18,802 ♪ No, not much ♪ 361 00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:23,941 - ♪ No ♪ - - ♪ No, no, not ♪ 362 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,610 ♪ Much ♪ 363 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:29,947 ♪ No, not much ♪ 364 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,882 Ohh! 365 00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:37,421 Yeah. Well, you win. 366 00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:39,056 Whoo! 367 00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:40,824 Your band didn't even sing yet. 368 00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:42,159 Aw. 369 00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:43,560 There's no need. You win. 370 00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:44,928 Whoo! 371 00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:47,498 Come on, Janitor. 372 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,333 For me. 373 00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:53,037 One second. Bring it in. 374 00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:54,038 Oh, God. 375 00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:55,906 OK, I don't ask for much, 376 00:17:56,009 --> 00:17:58,775 just a little help with a stain every now and then. 377 00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:01,478 I'd like to be able to communicate with animals. 378 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:06,483 But right now, oh, boy, we need a miracle. 379 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:09,319 Hibbleton, whatever that means, on three. 380 00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,388 One, two, three. 381 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,991 - Hibbleton. - Hibbleton. 382 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,360 Ha! Ahem. 383 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,098 Ha... ba... ba... 384 00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,904 Ba ba ba... 385 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:32,343 ♪ Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann ♪ 386 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,845 ♪ Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann ♪ 387 00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:37,948 ♪ Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann... ♪ 388 00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:39,317 ♪ Barbara Ann ♪ 389 00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:42,587 ♪ Take my hand ♪ 390 00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:45,589 ♪ Barbara Ann ♪ 391 00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:47,191 ♪ You got me rockin' and a-rollin' ♪ 392 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,093 ♪ Rockin' and a-reelin' Barbara Ann ♪ 393 00:18:49,195 --> 00:18:52,029 ♪ Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann ♪ 394 00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:56,901 Hibbleton! 395 00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:01,239 I suddenly found myself looking down on Mr. Kravitz, 396 00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,674 Elliot's train-wreck patient from this morning. 397 00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:06,143 Apparently, the irony wasn't lost on him, either. 398 00:19:07,613 --> 00:19:11,181 You've got to be kidding, Mr. Kravitz. Twice? 399 00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:15,886 - BP's dropping. - He's becoming bradycardic. 400 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,356 - Doctor! - Uh... 401 00:19:19,425 --> 00:19:22,526 ♪ A young quarterback ♪ 402 00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:26,764 ♪ Waits for the snap ♪ 403 00:19:26,865 --> 00:19:29,099 And things did slow down. 404 00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:34,438 ♪ He's got all kinds of time ♪ 405 00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:37,908 ♪ He's got all kinds of time ♪ 406 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:41,279 ♪ All kinds of time ♪ 407 00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:46,817 ♪ He's got all kinds of time ♪ 408 00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:49,186 ♪ All kinds of time ♪ 409 00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:52,990 Dopamine. Run it wide open. Get me an airway. I need a pacing wire. 410 00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:54,525 No pulse. 411 00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,860 I think the second you stop fighting it, 412 00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:58,562 time really is on your side... 413 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:04,501 ...and you can go on being who you are... 414 00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:11,008 ...or keep enjoying that little crush of yours. 415 00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:12,609 To you. 416 00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:14,177 Cheers. 417 00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:18,316 What do you say we go for the first ever triple giant doctor? 418 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:19,916 Oh, Elliot, that's impossible. 419 00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:22,052 I know you've got strong legs and... 420 00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:24,788 Hmm. 421 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,824 I need you to place an IV on the second floor. Room 208. 422 00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:30,427 Greetings! Ha-ha! 423 00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:34,065 I'm the world's most, most giant doct... 424 00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:36,067 Uhh! Oww! Uhh! 425 00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:37,334 Little help. 426 00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:39,503 Little help. Yeah. 427 00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:42,373 Sir. Not that kind of help. 428 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:43,607 Aah! 429 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,911 If I let go, will you guys catch me? 430 00:20:48,013 --> 00:20:50,280 No. 431 00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:53,384 Well, I'm going for it anyway! 432 00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:54,785 Ohh! 433 00:20:55,888 --> 00:20:58,055 Lonnie? Lonnie? 434 00:20:58,157 --> 00:21:00,725 I hate you, J.D.