1
00:00:02,369 --> 00:00:04,202
I was
a little nervous today.
2
00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:05,637
Maybe it was
because I had no idea
3
00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:08,473
who this guy
on the back of my bike was.
4
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:13,412
- See ya tomorrow!
- Will do.
5
00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:17,048
Or maybe I was nervous
because at 3:00
6
00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:19,985
Dr. Cox was gonna name me
the new chief resident.
7
00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:23,288
How do I know? Well,
I'm the only one who applied.
8
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:26,224
But I'm also the only one
who's focused enough to...
9
00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:28,394
Oh, God!
10
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,531
Let me get this straight.
You crash into their truck,
11
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,333
and they just
drive you to work?
12
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:36,435
We didn't come
straight here.
13
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:41,172
Come on, Dorian,
you gotta want it!
14
00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:43,375
Hold up. They made
you move furniture?
15
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,110
It wasn't all bad.
16
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:49,814
- Bubble wrap! Bubble wrap!
- Whoo! Yeah!
17
00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:56,722
Dr. Molly Clock,
the new attending psychiatrist.
18
00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:59,991
Yes, she was hot!
But I wasn't a fan.
19
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:03,295
She's always calling me Johnny.
Also, she wasn't very nice.
20
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,365
Sit with us. We'll make room,
even if I have to stand.
21
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:08,666
What a bitch.
22
00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:11,336
Plus, she's always with Elliot,
and since I dumped her,
23
00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:13,371
we weren't getting along
all that great.
24
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:15,807
Anybody got any extra
ketchup packets?
25
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,076
- Thank you, Elliot.
- Hmph.
26
00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:20,612
What are you gonna do now
that your residencies are over?
27
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:22,113
Oh, I'm still a resident.
28
00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:24,783
Yeah, Dr. Kelso said I'm
the first medical resident
29
00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:28,453
to repeat his third year in the
entire history of the hospital.
30
00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:31,189
- That's a bad thing, Doug.
- Oh, I'm staying positive.
31
00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:34,426
Well, I'm starting my endocrinology
and metabolism fellowship.
32
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:37,829
I'm looking forward to cataloguing
the genetic variations of hirsutism.
33
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,664
Oh, really?
34
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:43,635
Excuse me for taking an interest in
hormonal regulatory research and related...
35
00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:48,106
You know, I still think you'd
make a good chief resident.
36
00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:51,075
Carla, for the five-billionth
time, I'm not interested.
37
00:01:51,178 --> 00:01:54,346
- I think you'd be a great chief resident.
- You do?
38
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,281
- I just said that.
- I know.
39
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:58,349
Sorry, ladies.
Job's taken.
40
00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:00,385
Dr. Cox is naming
ass-face here at 3:00.
41
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:02,821
- It's too late.
- Maybe it's not too late.
42
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:05,023
- Yeah, it is, Carla.
- Maybe it's not.
43
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,357
You're right,
maybe it isn't.
44
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,927
- What the hell?
- They're against you.
45
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:10,429
I'm invisible,
I'm invisible...
46
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:13,298
- Dr. Cox?
- Goddamn it!
47
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,867
Can I still be considered
for the chief residency?
48
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,936
She asked, without a prayer.
49
00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:20,472
Sure. Why not?
50
00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:25,444
♪ Raise it, raise it ♪
51
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:28,846
♪ And grind it
Grind it, grind it ♪
52
00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:30,148
You OK, buddy?
53
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,850
I just needed
to talk to someone.
54
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:35,153
Tough break, J.D.
55
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:36,822
You've dreamed
of being chief resident
56
00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:39,257
since you were a boy
growing up in Trotwood, Ohio.
57
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,827
What?
How does he know that?
58
00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:43,862
Thank you, Frank.
59
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:07,318
What do you think,
Perry?
60
00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,655
Either this kid
has a light bulb up his butt
61
00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:12,190
or his colon
has a great idea.
62
00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:15,394
- Excuse us, Lyle.
- Come on, newbie.
63
00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:19,498
- Hey, do you have a magazine?
- Not in me... I mean, on me.
64
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,667
That young man's father
is very important.
65
00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:25,070
Don't tell me.
He donated a wing.
66
00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:27,539
He donated a wing,
a thigh and a breast.
67
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:28,874
- Sir?
- Yes, genius,
68
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,209
in this metaphor
the hospital is a chicken.
69
00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:32,744
Please, sir,
I totally get that.
70
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,247
How could a hospital
be a chicken?
71
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,848
Focus on nothing else.
72
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,784
What a jerk.
73
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,487
When Elliot asked you if she
could run for chief resident,
74
00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:43,488
that was a goof, right?
75
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:46,090
Ran all those tests
on Mr. Landesman.
76
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:48,960
Top-notch work there,
Barbie. She's good.
77
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:53,332
She's very,
very, very good.
78
00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:56,768
- Oh. Sorry. Where were we?
- I am a medical professional,
79
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:59,337
and you are not gonna get me
to compete with Elliot.
80
00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:01,740
Well, JoJo,
right now she's winning.
81
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:05,176
Let me know how to get back on top.
I'll do anything. Even if I have to kill!
82
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:09,247
Start by getting the light bulb
out of this genius's pooper.
83
00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:10,415
Impress me.
84
00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:12,951
Oh, I'll impress you!
85
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:16,321
Hit the water!
86
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:21,059
I'll impress him
some other way.
87
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:23,362
Doug! Stay positive.
88
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,132
Awesome!
89
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,969
Perry. You know,
I have a cousin named Perry.
90
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,704
Actually, no,
he's not my cousin.
91
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,973
And his name isn't Perry.
It's Jeff.
92
00:04:36,075 --> 00:04:37,109
That's so funny.
93
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:39,077
I have an uncle named
"Stop bothering me."
94
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:40,345
Interesting.
95
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,480
Dr. Kelso told me
that since psychiatrists
96
00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:44,416
are the Wal-Mart greeters
of medicine,
97
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:47,152
- Mm-hmm.
- I need to start publishing a paper to earn my keep.
98
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:50,188
So I'm going to do this study
about conflict resolution
99
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,456
between hospital personnel,
and I was wondering
100
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:53,592
if I could observe you.
101
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:55,293
Look, "doctor,"
102
00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:57,662
us real doctors
are here to work,
103
00:04:57,764 --> 00:05:00,165
so there's not
a whole lot of conflict.
104
00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:01,933
My day
is already bad enough
105
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:04,802
on account of I gotta
tell Mr. Roman that he...
106
00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:06,371
Oh, my God.
107
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,740
Mr. Roman doesn't need
to have surgery.
108
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:13,978
I never get
to give good news.
109
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:18,016
Subject elongates words
when excited.
110
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,851
Mr. Roman, great news!
111
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:23,188
I don't need surgery.
Dr. Turk just told me.
112
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,957
You should've seen him. He
was so happy he started dancing.
113
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,392
Not standing,
but lying in his bed.
114
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,060
It was sort of, like...
115
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,361
From the waist up.
116
00:05:33,866 --> 00:05:38,003
You stole my moment,
and you will pay.
117
00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:43,375
Oh, this is good.
118
00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:47,445
Molly helped me fill out
my chief resident application,
119
00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,247
so, gonna go
give it to Dr. Cox.
120
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,649
There you go,
working girl.
121
00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:53,150
I've told Elliot
a million times
122
00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:56,287
that she would be a good chief
resident, but she just ignored me.
123
00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:59,291
- Maybe she's racist.
- Whatever. It's fine.
124
00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:02,561
It's not like all my friends are
gonna go to Molly for advice.
125
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:05,930
- Mm-hmm.
- If you want to talk about your husband,
126
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,266
we can go to my office now.
127
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,205
Excuse me.
128
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:19,811
when Turk told me he pissed Dr.
Cox off by stealing his moment,
129
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:21,913
I decided not
to share it with Elliot.
130
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:25,750
Dr. Cox, can you look at my
patient's rash? It's weird.
131
00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:29,387
I'd love to take a look
at your patient's rash,
132
00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:31,188
but also, if time allows,
133
00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:35,126
maybe we could go over some
preliminary ideas for your wedding dress.
134
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,261
I have sketches
in my locker.
135
00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:38,429
Psst! Barbie!
Listen carefully,
136
00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:40,799
because the policy
remains unchanged.
137
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,234
unless someone is dying,
and please note,
138
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,904
dying, not dead,
I'm not interested.
139
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:50,574
And P.S., a real strong showing
for a chief resident candidate.
140
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,844
God almighty.
141
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,680
Hoooo! Wow.
142
00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:58,483
Don't feel bad. You
couldn't have seen it coming.
143
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,518
Awful, though.
144
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:03,354
Well, I'm off to Pilates.
145
00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:04,656
I didn't feel bad.
146
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,424
A lot of people
were playing dirty.
147
00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:10,027
I told him all about the
surgery and he's good to go.
148
00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:12,363
Hey, so what do you say
we yank out that gallbladder?
149
00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:15,333
That's the way you tell me
I need major surgery?
150
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,334
You said you told him.
151
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,603
Stop it. Why would
I steal your moment?
152
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:22,473
Except for maybe
because payback is a bitch.
153
00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:29,380
Have one, baby.
You'll feel better.
154
00:07:29,482 --> 00:07:32,984
Turk, I heard your conflict
with Dr. Cox escalated.
155
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:35,720
He's starting to look like the
break-out character of my study,
156
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:37,722
the one people love to hate.
157
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:40,258
Anyway, in my opinion,
it is more effective
158
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,461
to address the situation than
it is to become self-destructive
159
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:47,064
by overindulging
a sweet tooth.
160
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:49,834
She's right.
161
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,803
You don't have that cookie,
we'll divorce.
162
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:55,040
- Baby, I'm not hungry now.
- Eat it.
163
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,581
- What?
- It's 3:00.
164
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:05,183
3:00's when you
announce new chief...
165
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:08,119
Barbie, you're chief resident.
166
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,521
Very funny.
167
00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:11,923
So not joking.
168
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:15,426
Yay!
Oh, my God.
169
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,629
Now I know how
Liza Minnelli felt.
170
00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:22,367
When she won the Oscar, not when
she married that gay pan-faced alien.
171
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:23,935
Newbie, how you doin'?
172
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,271
Keep it together.
It's "be a man" time.
173
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:28,907
No, no,
I totally understand.
174
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,409
Come on. You did
what you had to do.
175
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,112
- You went with your gut.
- Elliot's a great doctor.
176
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,815
I do have three
questions, though.
177
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:40,651
Why do you hate me when I
show you nothing but love?
178
00:08:40,753 --> 00:08:42,220
Who's gonna tell my mom?
179
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:44,055
And what the hell
am I supposed to do
180
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:49,193
with 10,000 "John Dorian,
Chief Resident" business cards?
181
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:53,531
Yeah, Scarlett,
you're chief resident too.
182
00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:55,900
Uh, what, now?
183
00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:58,236
I figure with her being
ridiculously book smart
184
00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:01,038
to the point where she has
almost no interpersonal skills
185
00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:04,242
and you being warm and cuddly as
an un-potty-trained labradoodle
186
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,677
and about as useful in
high-stress medical situations
187
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,679
as an un-potty-trained
labradoodle,
188
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:13,918
together, the two of you make
one barely passable doctor...
189
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:16,621
...slash labradoodle.
190
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,222
So if we'll both
be chief residents,
191
00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:20,258
why didn't you
just say that?
192
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,393
What, and miss
your hall of fame hissy?
193
00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:24,562
Not on your life.
Walk with me.
194
00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:29,601
John Dorian,
Chief Resident.
195
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,005
It's just that Elliot
and I doing this together
196
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:35,206
is gonna be a little tough.
197
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,808
We're going
through a rough patch.
198
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,109
I totally get that.
199
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,411
What you need to do is
give each other tons of space.
200
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:44,082
Here, uh...
Here's your office.
201
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,221
Well. Enjoy.
202
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,792
Maybe I wasn't clear.
203
00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:56,627
This patient is important.
204
00:09:56,729 --> 00:09:59,097
Translation:
Don't pass him off to dumb guy.
205
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,966
Sir, I take issue
with that.
206
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:03,435
Son, you were gathering
a group of large orderlies
207
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,670
to get the light bulb out of
the patient by doing what?
208
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,505
Shaking him
like a beach towel.
209
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,040
Goodbye.
210
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:12,844
Last chance, Perry.
Fix this kid.
211
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,648
I paged a surgical consult.
212
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,516
Of course you did.
213
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,085
I heard this guy's got
a light bulb up his ass.
214
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:23,854
Are you the surgical consult?
215
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:25,690
No. I'm not even
working today.
216
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,325
I just want to ask him
four questions.
217
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:34,699
Whazzup?! Dr. Tizzurk
is in the hizzouse...
218
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,934
Conflict is everywhere,
219
00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:39,104
whether it's out in the open...
220
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:41,372
...or bubbling
just under the surface.
221
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,374
You know what I realized
by doing this study?
222
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,542
Some of the most interesting
conflicts are when
223
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,945
one of the parties doesn't
realize they're in a fight.
224
00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:50,115
Really?
225
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:54,819
I guess the only thing to do
when you're in the middle of it
226
00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:57,555
is to hope that nothing
makes it worse.
227
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,323
Cleaning time!
228
00:10:59,425 --> 00:11:02,093
Don't worry, I'll go fast.
229
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:04,229
That one got away.
230
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,497
- It burns!
- Ammonia burns?
231
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:09,000
Hmm. Write that down.
232
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,338
Yes, I'm happy.
But I'd be happier
233
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,741
if I didn't have to share
the job with such a jerk.
234
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,476
Elliot, I can hear you.
235
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:21,179
You guys, this situation
would be perfect for my study.
236
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:24,148
- Oh, no.
- Don't worry, Johnny. Everyone's gonna be anonymous.
237
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,116
I'm only using initials.
You'll be J.D.
238
00:11:26,218 --> 00:11:28,485
Great. Maybe we could
make it permanent.
239
00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:31,055
- Johnny.
- - Of course not.
240
00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:34,158
The way I see it, you guys can
get past it and talk like adults,
241
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,627
or you can behave
like petty children.
242
00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:38,295
we decided
to go petty.
243
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:39,697
OK. Instead
of sharing you all,
244
00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:42,200
we're gonna separate you
into two resident teams
245
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,502
so that J.D. and I
never have to see each other.
246
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:48,306
- I'll take Doug.
- Yes! Suck on that.
247
00:11:48,407 --> 00:11:50,608
Whew. Thanks, J.D.
First pick.
248
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,877
Relax, Doug. You're the
only one whose name I know.
249
00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:56,046
- I'll take Indian Elvis.
- Yes!
250
00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:58,783
- Pick the hot chick.
- Shut up, Doug!
251
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,718
We'll take the hot chick.
252
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:06,023
- Uh, name's Amy, actually.
- John Dorian, Chief Resident.
253
00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:08,025
Website's on the back.
254
00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:10,527
Hey. I've got a two-hour break
between patients.
255
00:12:10,629 --> 00:12:14,232
Do you want to grab lunch? Or
dinner? I'm not sure what time it is.
256
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:17,067
Elliot and I weren't
the only ones to go petty.
257
00:12:17,169 --> 00:12:20,138
Oh. You know what?
I have a barbecue to go to.
258
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,140
Why don't you meet me there?
259
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,409
Cool.
260
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:28,146
- Hey, are you Todd?
- Oh, yeah.
261
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,048
Carla said you're
having a barbecue.
262
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:31,649
No. But stick around.
263
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,751
I'll see if we can
get something cookin'.
264
00:12:33,853 --> 00:12:37,855
- This is Pat and Frank from 4G.
- Hi. I'm Molly.
265
00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:41,859
And you're naked.
266
00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:43,794
Uh-huh.
267
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,397
Awesome.
268
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:49,867
Why don't we just reach up there
and tug that bad boy out?
269
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,468
It's not a rabbit in a hat.
270
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,504
If you tug on it,
it's going to break,
271
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,606
and if it breaks,
he's going to need surgery,
272
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:56,674
and if you perform it,
273
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,876
then of course
he's going to need a casket.
274
00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:03,614
So why don't you just play quietly
in your area until the crowd arrives?
275
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:06,250
What crowd? I thought nobody
wanted to take the case.
276
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:09,554
At first, but now that it's
a bit of a hospital mystery,
277
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,388
every jackass in the joint
278
00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:15,893
is going to want to come in here
and give their two cents' worth.
279
00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:19,630
If we could just find
the lamp the bulb came from.
280
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:22,467
Leon's trained
to retrieve things.
281
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:27,571
That's why my wife
and I use candles.
282
00:13:27,673 --> 00:13:31,242
Zeltzer, you are hands down the most
disturbing man I've ever met in my life.
283
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:35,279
Oh, stop it. Hey, are you
and your wife open-minded?
284
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,348
That's it!
I want everybody to get out
285
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:38,949
who is not an expert
on light bulbs.
286
00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:41,652
Go on, get out.
287
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:44,054
Out, out, out!
288
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,890
What are you still
doing here?
289
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:49,794
What you have there
is an A-21 bulb on an E-26 base,
290
00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:53,498
burning 100 watts,
putting out about 130 volts.
291
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:54,965
Get over here.
You're helping me.
292
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:57,568
Not so fast, cowboy. You're
working with me, tall man.
293
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,037
Mm, actually, no.
294
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:03,107
If I had the time, maybe,
but I've got a room to clean.
295
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:09,413
Keep up, people.
We got pre-rounds to do.
296
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:12,116
Get the lead out, Elvis.
297
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:14,519
OK, she's gone.
298
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:18,089
Now, I've heard some rumors
there's been some fraternizing
299
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,891
with some
of Dr. Reid's residents.
300
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:22,293
Now, I don't want
to mention any names,
301
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,628
but, Slobodan,
enough of that crap!
302
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:26,530
Watch your ass.
303
00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:29,733
Now, come on, you nerds.
304
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:33,337
Carla, Todd has something
he wants to say to you.
305
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,372
I'm sorry if I ever
demeaned you, Carla.
306
00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:37,508
You see, my feelings
about women were warped
307
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:40,878
by a very unhealthy
relationship with my mother.
308
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:42,780
We made out once.
309
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,449
That's good, Todd.
Keep going.
310
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:48,786
Monique,
I owe you an apology.
311
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,822
You fixed the Todd?
312
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:53,557
Well, without regular therapy,
it'll probably only last a week.
313
00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:56,961
So, you're mad at me.
314
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,729
Excuse me?
315
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:02,133
Oh! You're not mad at me.
316
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,168
Why did you just
close your eyes at me?
317
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:06,470
I've never
been able to wink.
318
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,139
Oh. I'm not mad.
319
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,574
Cool. You're obviously
very stubborn and very proud,
320
00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:13,044
but you're nice,
so eventually you'll tell me.
321
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:14,579
No, I won't.
322
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,814
Let go of that anger.
323
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,487
Not my office.
324
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:26,591
- How's it going in here?
- - Go away!
325
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,893
Wow, you kind of harmonized
on that. That was cool.
326
00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:31,629
It's funny. It's not
about the argument anymore.
327
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,698
It's a competition about
who can be stubborn the longest.
328
00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:36,467
The real winner's gonna be
329
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:38,869
who has the guts
to apologize first?
330
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,271
Hmm, interesting.
331
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:42,673
I got something to say!
332
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,342
Sorry about
the gallbladder thing.
333
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,009
- Yes! I win!
- Damn it!
334
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:49,313
You surgeons ride in on your
white horse and save the day.
335
00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:52,583
The best news I ever get to
give everybody, anybody, ever,
336
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:53,917
is, "By the way, ma'am,
337
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:56,320
were you aware that that
breathing tube in your neck
338
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:58,288
also comes in day-glo pink?"
339
00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:00,958
Come on, look,
bottom line,
340
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:02,460
I really needed a win.
341
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,762
I did, and I finally
got one, and, you,
342
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:08,065
- you stole it, man.
- I needed one too.
343
00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:11,101
Boo-hoo.
Where's my win?
344
00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:13,437
Think anybody thanks me
for cleaning bathrooms?
345
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:15,506
Janitor,
the bathrooms are filthy.
346
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,875
Well, no one was thanking me,
so I quit cleaning them.
347
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,343
Holy cow.
348
00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:22,412
You realize if we could get
a tight clamp around the bulb...
349
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,414
No, no, no,
you'll break the thing.
350
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:25,983
Here's the thing about bulbs.
351
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:28,185
They're structurally weak
at the narrow end,
352
00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:29,987
but the round end
is surprisingly strong.
353
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:31,555
If we can get
behind the bulb...
354
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,590
I see where you're headed.
We go down the mouth.
355
00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,026
Your turn's over.
356
00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:37,962
All we need to do is thread
an angioplasty balloon
357
00:16:38,064 --> 00:16:39,964
- past the bulb...
- Inflate it...
358
00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:43,267
- And then pull.
- Pull it.
359
00:16:43,369 --> 00:16:45,436
I concur.
360
00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:50,507
- Doctor.
- Doctor.
361
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:52,342
- Doctor.
- Doctor.
362
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:55,646
- Doctor.
- No.
363
00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:58,816
Doug wanted me
to give this patient
364
00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:00,384
500,000 milligrams
of morphine.
365
00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:03,220
I thought I'd check with you
before I killed a man.
366
00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:06,490
Unbelievable, Doug.
367
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:08,693
Don't worry. I just came
to check on my patients.
368
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,761
Do whatever you want.
Just don't come to my area.
369
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,696
You couldn't pay me
to come to your area.
370
00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:15,099
- I wouldn't pay you.
- You don't have enough money.
371
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:18,102
It so happens I have a rich
uncle who'd do anything for me,
372
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:21,205
but I'd never call in that favor
to pay you to come to my area.
373
00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:23,007
Got her.
374
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:26,543
I hate to interrupt, but you
need to take a look at this man.
375
00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:29,247
- Elliot, he's in V-tach.
- Get the crash cart.
376
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:30,347
Give one milligram epi.
377
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,082
the best thing
about this place
378
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:33,717
is that when someone's
in trouble,
379
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:36,086
all the pettiness melts away.
380
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,657
What are you doing?
381
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,725
Well, I'm tired of
trying to find my office,
382
00:17:41,827 --> 00:17:43,594
so I just
set up shop here.
383
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:45,863
Oh! OK, that's not weird.
384
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:48,599
Look, I want to
apologize for my wife.
385
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,368
She'd never
admit it to you,
386
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:53,871
but she likes to be the person
who tells everybody what to do.
387
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:56,240
Apparently she can't
get enough of it at home.
388
00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:57,842
Right? Right?
389
00:17:57,944 --> 00:18:00,244
Wrong. Look...
390
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:02,213
If every once in a while
391
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:05,216
you could let her be
the one to give the advice,
392
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:06,918
you guys might end up
being friends.
393
00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:08,686
I can do that...
394
00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:12,656
...and tell Carla
that you did well.
395
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,295
You truly underestimate
how proud my wife is.
396
00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:20,364
If she knew I was here,
she'd kill me.
397
00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:22,767
All right.
398
00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:29,573
What happened to the part
about how much I help people?
399
00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:32,209
- She said I did well.
- Turtlehead.
400
00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:35,112
You're gonna want to get
a piece of this. Come on.
401
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:38,015
- Where'd you get the coat?
- I earned it.
402
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,450
Let's get our moment.
403
00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:42,686
Thanks for all
the hard work, Bob.
404
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,088
Glad to do it.
405
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:45,456
Oh, and, uh, Bart,
406
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:48,358
I think Lyle might be ready
for that rough-sex-play talk
407
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:51,395
you had with
your other boys.
408
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,131
Too late.
409
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,235
Can you imagine us trying
to do that three years ago?
410
00:18:58,337 --> 00:18:59,403
I know.
411
00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:00,871
Remember our first code?
412
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,708
Well, I remember hiding
in a supply closet.
413
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,342
That's the one.
414
00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:07,345
Ultimately,
conflict is resolved
415
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:10,847
by remembering why you were
friends in the first place.
416
00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:14,084
Don't hang up, Lester.
417
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,156
You should talk to her.
You know her better.
418
00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:21,692
Or by
swallowing your pride.
419
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:23,694
I know what you're doing.
420
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,864
But I'm OK with it.
421
00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:35,305
- He's coming.
- Get your ass out here.
422
00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:38,309
Or by uniting against the
moment-stealing common enemy
423
00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:40,311
who took credit
for your ingenious method
424
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:43,947
of debulbing
a patient's keister.
425
00:19:56,962 --> 00:20:00,164
Good Lord!
426
00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:03,367
In the end, though, it doesn't
matter how you get there.
427
00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:05,402
As long as
you're friends again.
428
00:20:05,504 --> 00:20:07,404
I miss this.
429
00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:10,708
Just, like,
hanging out, you know?
430
00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:12,810
Me too.
431
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,945
We should go get coffee.
432
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,647
We're having coffee.
433
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,949
No, no, I mean, like,
outside coffee.
434
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,384
Real world coffee.
435
00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:23,387
The point is
we should hang out
436
00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:25,255
outside the hospital sometime.
437
00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:27,892
J.D., I still need time.
438
00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:29,593
I know that's
gonna be hard for you
439
00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:32,095
because you like to fix
everything right away, but...
440
00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:35,198
...you just do
the best you can, OK?
441
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:42,305
- Is it fixed now?
- Nope.
442
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:45,075
Shoot!
443
00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:17,674
Bye-bye.