1 00:00:02,369 --> 00:00:04,202 I was a little nervous today. 2 00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:05,637 Maybe it was because I had no idea 3 00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:08,473 who this guy on the back of my bike was. 4 00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:13,412 - See ya tomorrow! - Will do. 5 00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:17,048 Or maybe I was nervous because at 3:00 6 00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:19,985 Dr. Cox was gonna name me the new chief resident. 7 00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:23,288 How do I know? Well, I'm the only one who applied. 8 00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:26,224 But I'm also the only one who's focused enough to... 9 00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:28,394 Oh, God! 10 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,531 Let me get this straight. You crash into their truck, 11 00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,333 and they just drive you to work? 12 00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:36,435 We didn't come straight here. 13 00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:41,172 Come on, Dorian, you gotta want it! 14 00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:43,375 Hold up. They made you move furniture? 15 00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,110 It wasn't all bad. 16 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:49,814 - Bubble wrap! Bubble wrap! - Whoo! Yeah! 17 00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:56,722 Dr. Molly Clock, the new attending psychiatrist. 18 00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:59,991 Yes, she was hot! But I wasn't a fan. 19 00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:03,295 She's always calling me Johnny. Also, she wasn't very nice. 20 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,365 Sit with us. We'll make room, even if I have to stand. 21 00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:08,666 What a bitch. 22 00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:11,336 Plus, she's always with Elliot, and since I dumped her, 23 00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:13,371 we weren't getting along all that great. 24 00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:15,807 Anybody got any extra ketchup packets? 25 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,076 - Thank you, Elliot. - Hmph. 26 00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:20,612 What are you gonna do now that your residencies are over? 27 00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:22,113 Oh, I'm still a resident. 28 00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:24,783 Yeah, Dr. Kelso said I'm the first medical resident 29 00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:28,453 to repeat his third year in the entire history of the hospital. 30 00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:31,189 - That's a bad thing, Doug. - Oh, I'm staying positive. 31 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:34,426 Well, I'm starting my endocrinology and metabolism fellowship. 32 00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:37,829 I'm looking forward to cataloguing the genetic variations of hirsutism. 33 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,664 Oh, really? 34 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:43,635 Excuse me for taking an interest in hormonal regulatory research and related... 35 00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:48,106 You know, I still think you'd make a good chief resident. 36 00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:51,075 Carla, for the five-billionth time, I'm not interested. 37 00:01:51,178 --> 00:01:54,346 - I think you'd be a great chief resident. - You do? 38 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,281 - I just said that. - I know. 39 00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:58,349 Sorry, ladies. Job's taken. 40 00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:00,385 Dr. Cox is naming ass-face here at 3:00. 41 00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:02,821 - It's too late. - Maybe it's not too late. 42 00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:05,023 - Yeah, it is, Carla. - Maybe it's not. 43 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,357 You're right, maybe it isn't. 44 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,927 - What the hell? - They're against you. 45 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:10,429 I'm invisible, I'm invisible... 46 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:13,298 - Dr. Cox? - Goddamn it! 47 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,867 Can I still be considered for the chief residency? 48 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,936 She asked, without a prayer. 49 00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:20,472 Sure. Why not? 50 00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:25,444 ♪ Raise it, raise it ♪ 51 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:28,846 ♪ And grind it Grind it, grind it ♪ 52 00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:30,148 You OK, buddy? 53 00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,850 I just needed to talk to someone. 54 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:35,153 Tough break, J.D. 55 00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:36,822 You've dreamed of being chief resident 56 00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:39,257 since you were a boy growing up in Trotwood, Ohio. 57 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,827 What? How does he know that? 58 00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:43,862 Thank you, Frank. 59 00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:07,318 What do you think, Perry? 60 00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,655 Either this kid has a light bulb up his butt 61 00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:12,190 or his colon has a great idea. 62 00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:15,394 - Excuse us, Lyle. - Come on, newbie. 63 00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:19,498 - Hey, do you have a magazine? - Not in me... I mean, on me. 64 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,667 That young man's father is very important. 65 00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:25,070 Don't tell me. He donated a wing. 66 00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:27,539 He donated a wing, a thigh and a breast. 67 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:28,874 - Sir? - Yes, genius, 68 00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,209 in this metaphor the hospital is a chicken. 69 00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:32,744 Please, sir, I totally get that. 70 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,247 How could a hospital be a chicken? 71 00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,848 Focus on nothing else. 72 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,784 What a jerk. 73 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,487 When Elliot asked you if she could run for chief resident, 74 00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:43,488 that was a goof, right? 75 00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:46,090 Ran all those tests on Mr. Landesman. 76 00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:48,960 Top-notch work there, Barbie. She's good. 77 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:53,332 She's very, very, very good. 78 00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:56,768 - Oh. Sorry. Where were we? - I am a medical professional, 79 00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:59,337 and you are not gonna get me to compete with Elliot. 80 00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:01,740 Well, JoJo, right now she's winning. 81 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:05,176 Let me know how to get back on top. I'll do anything. Even if I have to kill! 82 00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:09,247 Start by getting the light bulb out of this genius's pooper. 83 00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:10,415 Impress me. 84 00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:12,951 Oh, I'll impress you! 85 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:16,321 Hit the water! 86 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:21,059 I'll impress him some other way. 87 00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:23,362 Doug! Stay positive. 88 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,132 Awesome! 89 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,969 Perry. You know, I have a cousin named Perry. 90 00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,704 Actually, no, he's not my cousin. 91 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,973 And his name isn't Perry. It's Jeff. 92 00:04:36,075 --> 00:04:37,109 That's so funny. 93 00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:39,077 I have an uncle named "Stop bothering me." 94 00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:40,345 Interesting. 95 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,480 Dr. Kelso told me that since psychiatrists 96 00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:44,416 are the Wal-Mart greeters of medicine, 97 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:47,152 - Mm-hmm. - I need to start publishing a paper to earn my keep. 98 00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:50,188 So I'm going to do this study about conflict resolution 99 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,456 between hospital personnel, and I was wondering 100 00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:53,592 if I could observe you. 101 00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:55,293 Look, "doctor," 102 00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:57,662 us real doctors are here to work, 103 00:04:57,764 --> 00:05:00,165 so there's not a whole lot of conflict. 104 00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:01,933 My day is already bad enough 105 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:04,802 on account of I gotta tell Mr. Roman that he... 106 00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:06,371 Oh, my God. 107 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,740 Mr. Roman doesn't need to have surgery. 108 00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:13,978 I never get to give good news. 109 00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:18,016 Subject elongates words when excited. 110 00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,851 Mr. Roman, great news! 111 00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:23,188 I don't need surgery. Dr. Turk just told me. 112 00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,957 You should've seen him. He was so happy he started dancing. 113 00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,392 Not standing, but lying in his bed. 114 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,060 It was sort of, like... 115 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,361 From the waist up. 116 00:05:33,866 --> 00:05:38,003 You stole my moment, and you will pay. 117 00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:43,375 Oh, this is good. 118 00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:47,445 Molly helped me fill out my chief resident application, 119 00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,247 so, gonna go give it to Dr. Cox. 120 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,649 There you go, working girl. 121 00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:53,150 I've told Elliot a million times 122 00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:56,287 that she would be a good chief resident, but she just ignored me. 123 00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:59,291 - Maybe she's racist. - Whatever. It's fine. 124 00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:02,561 It's not like all my friends are gonna go to Molly for advice. 125 00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:05,930 - Mm-hmm. - If you want to talk about your husband, 126 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,266 we can go to my office now. 127 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,205 Excuse me. 128 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:19,811 when Turk told me he pissed Dr. Cox off by stealing his moment, 129 00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:21,913 I decided not to share it with Elliot. 130 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:25,750 Dr. Cox, can you look at my patient's rash? It's weird. 131 00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:29,387 I'd love to take a look at your patient's rash, 132 00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:31,188 but also, if time allows, 133 00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:35,126 maybe we could go over some preliminary ideas for your wedding dress. 134 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,261 I have sketches in my locker. 135 00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:38,429 Psst! Barbie! Listen carefully, 136 00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:40,799 because the policy remains unchanged. 137 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,234 unless someone is dying, and please note, 138 00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,904 dying, not dead, I'm not interested. 139 00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:50,574 And P.S., a real strong showing for a chief resident candidate. 140 00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,844 God almighty. 141 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,680 Hoooo! Wow. 142 00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:58,483 Don't feel bad. You couldn't have seen it coming. 143 00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,518 Awful, though. 144 00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:03,354 Well, I'm off to Pilates. 145 00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:04,656 I didn't feel bad. 146 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,424 A lot of people were playing dirty. 147 00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:10,027 I told him all about the surgery and he's good to go. 148 00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:12,363 Hey, so what do you say we yank out that gallbladder? 149 00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:15,333 That's the way you tell me I need major surgery? 150 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,334 You said you told him. 151 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,603 Stop it. Why would I steal your moment? 152 00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:22,473 Except for maybe because payback is a bitch. 153 00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:29,380 Have one, baby. You'll feel better. 154 00:07:29,482 --> 00:07:32,984 Turk, I heard your conflict with Dr. Cox escalated. 155 00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:35,720 He's starting to look like the break-out character of my study, 156 00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:37,722 the one people love to hate. 157 00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:40,258 Anyway, in my opinion, it is more effective 158 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,461 to address the situation than it is to become self-destructive 159 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:47,064 by overindulging a sweet tooth. 160 00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:49,834 She's right. 161 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,803 You don't have that cookie, we'll divorce. 162 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:55,040 - Baby, I'm not hungry now. - Eat it. 163 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,581 - What? - It's 3:00. 164 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:05,183 3:00's when you announce new chief... 165 00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:08,119 Barbie, you're chief resident. 166 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,521 Very funny. 167 00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:11,923 So not joking. 168 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:15,426 Yay! Oh, my God. 169 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,629 Now I know how Liza Minnelli felt. 170 00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:22,367 When she won the Oscar, not when she married that gay pan-faced alien. 171 00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:23,935 Newbie, how you doin'? 172 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,271 Keep it together. It's "be a man" time. 173 00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:28,907 No, no, I totally understand. 174 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,409 Come on. You did what you had to do. 175 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,112 - You went with your gut. - Elliot's a great doctor. 176 00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,815 I do have three questions, though. 177 00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:40,651 Why do you hate me when I show you nothing but love? 178 00:08:40,753 --> 00:08:42,220 Who's gonna tell my mom? 179 00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:44,055 And what the hell am I supposed to do 180 00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:49,193 with 10,000 "John Dorian, Chief Resident" business cards? 181 00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:53,531 Yeah, Scarlett, you're chief resident too. 182 00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:55,900 Uh, what, now? 183 00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:58,236 I figure with her being ridiculously book smart 184 00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:01,038 to the point where she has almost no interpersonal skills 185 00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:04,242 and you being warm and cuddly as an un-potty-trained labradoodle 186 00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,677 and about as useful in high-stress medical situations 187 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,679 as an un-potty-trained labradoodle, 188 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:13,918 together, the two of you make one barely passable doctor... 189 00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:16,621 ...slash labradoodle. 190 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,222 So if we'll both be chief residents, 191 00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:20,258 why didn't you just say that? 192 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,393 What, and miss your hall of fame hissy? 193 00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:24,562 Not on your life. Walk with me. 194 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:29,601 John Dorian, Chief Resident. 195 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,005 It's just that Elliot and I doing this together 196 00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:35,206 is gonna be a little tough. 197 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,808 We're going through a rough patch. 198 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,109 I totally get that. 199 00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,411 What you need to do is give each other tons of space. 200 00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:44,082 Here, uh... Here's your office. 201 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,221 Well. Enjoy. 202 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,792 Maybe I wasn't clear. 203 00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:56,627 This patient is important. 204 00:09:56,729 --> 00:09:59,097 Translation: Don't pass him off to dumb guy. 205 00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,966 Sir, I take issue with that. 206 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:03,435 Son, you were gathering a group of large orderlies 207 00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,670 to get the light bulb out of the patient by doing what? 208 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,505 Shaking him like a beach towel. 209 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,040 Goodbye. 210 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:12,844 Last chance, Perry. Fix this kid. 211 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,648 I paged a surgical consult. 212 00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,516 Of course you did. 213 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,085 I heard this guy's got a light bulb up his ass. 214 00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:23,854 Are you the surgical consult? 215 00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:25,690 No. I'm not even working today. 216 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,325 I just want to ask him four questions. 217 00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:34,699 Whazzup?! Dr. Tizzurk is in the hizzouse... 218 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,934 Conflict is everywhere, 219 00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:39,104 whether it's out in the open... 220 00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:41,372 ...or bubbling just under the surface. 221 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,374 You know what I realized by doing this study? 222 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,542 Some of the most interesting conflicts are when 223 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,945 one of the parties doesn't realize they're in a fight. 224 00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:50,115 Really? 225 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:54,819 I guess the only thing to do when you're in the middle of it 226 00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:57,555 is to hope that nothing makes it worse. 227 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,323 Cleaning time! 228 00:10:59,425 --> 00:11:02,093 Don't worry, I'll go fast. 229 00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:04,229 That one got away. 230 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,497 - It burns! - Ammonia burns? 231 00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:09,000 Hmm. Write that down. 232 00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,338 Yes, I'm happy. But I'd be happier 233 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,741 if I didn't have to share the job with such a jerk. 234 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,476 Elliot, I can hear you. 235 00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:21,179 You guys, this situation would be perfect for my study. 236 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:24,148 - Oh, no. - Don't worry, Johnny. Everyone's gonna be anonymous. 237 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,116 I'm only using initials. You'll be J.D. 238 00:11:26,218 --> 00:11:28,485 Great. Maybe we could make it permanent. 239 00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:31,055 - Johnny. - - Of course not. 240 00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:34,158 The way I see it, you guys can get past it and talk like adults, 241 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,627 or you can behave like petty children. 242 00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:38,295 we decided to go petty. 243 00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:39,697 OK. Instead of sharing you all, 244 00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:42,200 we're gonna separate you into two resident teams 245 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,502 so that J.D. and I never have to see each other. 246 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:48,306 - I'll take Doug. - Yes! Suck on that. 247 00:11:48,407 --> 00:11:50,608 Whew. Thanks, J.D. First pick. 248 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,877 Relax, Doug. You're the only one whose name I know. 249 00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:56,046 - I'll take Indian Elvis. - Yes! 250 00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:58,783 - Pick the hot chick. - Shut up, Doug! 251 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,718 We'll take the hot chick. 252 00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:06,023 - Uh, name's Amy, actually. - John Dorian, Chief Resident. 253 00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:08,025 Website's on the back. 254 00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:10,527 Hey. I've got a two-hour break between patients. 255 00:12:10,629 --> 00:12:14,232 Do you want to grab lunch? Or dinner? I'm not sure what time it is. 256 00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:17,067 Elliot and I weren't the only ones to go petty. 257 00:12:17,169 --> 00:12:20,138 Oh. You know what? I have a barbecue to go to. 258 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,140 Why don't you meet me there? 259 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,409 Cool. 260 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:28,146 - Hey, are you Todd? - Oh, yeah. 261 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,048 Carla said you're having a barbecue. 262 00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:31,649 No. But stick around. 263 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,751 I'll see if we can get something cookin'. 264 00:12:33,853 --> 00:12:37,855 - This is Pat and Frank from 4G. - Hi. I'm Molly. 265 00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:41,859 And you're naked. 266 00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:43,794 Uh-huh. 267 00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,397 Awesome. 268 00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:49,867 Why don't we just reach up there and tug that bad boy out? 269 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,468 It's not a rabbit in a hat. 270 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,504 If you tug on it, it's going to break, 271 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,606 and if it breaks, he's going to need surgery, 272 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:56,674 and if you perform it, 273 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,876 then of course he's going to need a casket. 274 00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:03,614 So why don't you just play quietly in your area until the crowd arrives? 275 00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:06,250 What crowd? I thought nobody wanted to take the case. 276 00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:09,554 At first, but now that it's a bit of a hospital mystery, 277 00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,388 every jackass in the joint 278 00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:15,893 is going to want to come in here and give their two cents' worth. 279 00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:19,630 If we could just find the lamp the bulb came from. 280 00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:22,467 Leon's trained to retrieve things. 281 00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:27,571 That's why my wife and I use candles. 282 00:13:27,673 --> 00:13:31,242 Zeltzer, you are hands down the most disturbing man I've ever met in my life. 283 00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:35,279 Oh, stop it. Hey, are you and your wife open-minded? 284 00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,348 That's it! I want everybody to get out 285 00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:38,949 who is not an expert on light bulbs. 286 00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:41,652 Go on, get out. 287 00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:44,054 Out, out, out! 288 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,890 What are you still doing here? 289 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:49,794 What you have there is an A-21 bulb on an E-26 base, 290 00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:53,498 burning 100 watts, putting out about 130 volts. 291 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:54,965 Get over here. You're helping me. 292 00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:57,568 Not so fast, cowboy. You're working with me, tall man. 293 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,037 Mm, actually, no. 294 00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:03,107 If I had the time, maybe, but I've got a room to clean. 295 00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:09,413 Keep up, people. We got pre-rounds to do. 296 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:12,116 Get the lead out, Elvis. 297 00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:14,519 OK, she's gone. 298 00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:18,089 Now, I've heard some rumors there's been some fraternizing 299 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,891 with some of Dr. Reid's residents. 300 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:22,293 Now, I don't want to mention any names, 301 00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,628 but, Slobodan, enough of that crap! 302 00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:26,530 Watch your ass. 303 00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:29,733 Now, come on, you nerds. 304 00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:33,337 Carla, Todd has something he wants to say to you. 305 00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,372 I'm sorry if I ever demeaned you, Carla. 306 00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:37,508 You see, my feelings about women were warped 307 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:40,878 by a very unhealthy relationship with my mother. 308 00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:42,780 We made out once. 309 00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,449 That's good, Todd. Keep going. 310 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:48,786 Monique, I owe you an apology. 311 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,822 You fixed the Todd? 312 00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:53,557 Well, without regular therapy, it'll probably only last a week. 313 00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:56,961 So, you're mad at me. 314 00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,729 Excuse me? 315 00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:02,133 Oh! You're not mad at me. 316 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,168 Why did you just close your eyes at me? 317 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:06,470 I've never been able to wink. 318 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,139 Oh. I'm not mad. 319 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,574 Cool. You're obviously very stubborn and very proud, 320 00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:13,044 but you're nice, so eventually you'll tell me. 321 00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:14,579 No, I won't. 322 00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,814 Let go of that anger. 323 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,487 Not my office. 324 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:26,591 - How's it going in here? - - Go away! 325 00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,893 Wow, you kind of harmonized on that. That was cool. 326 00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:31,629 It's funny. It's not about the argument anymore. 327 00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,698 It's a competition about who can be stubborn the longest. 328 00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:36,467 The real winner's gonna be 329 00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:38,869 who has the guts to apologize first? 330 00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,271 Hmm, interesting. 331 00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:42,673 I got something to say! 332 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,342 Sorry about the gallbladder thing. 333 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,009 - Yes! I win! - Damn it! 334 00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:49,313 You surgeons ride in on your white horse and save the day. 335 00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:52,583 The best news I ever get to give everybody, anybody, ever, 336 00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:53,917 is, "By the way, ma'am, 337 00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:56,320 were you aware that that breathing tube in your neck 338 00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:58,288 also comes in day-glo pink?" 339 00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:00,958 Come on, look, bottom line, 340 00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:02,460 I really needed a win. 341 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,762 I did, and I finally got one, and, you, 342 00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:08,065 - you stole it, man. - I needed one too. 343 00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:11,101 Boo-hoo. Where's my win? 344 00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:13,437 Think anybody thanks me for cleaning bathrooms? 345 00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:15,506 Janitor, the bathrooms are filthy. 346 00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,875 Well, no one was thanking me, so I quit cleaning them. 347 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,343 Holy cow. 348 00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:22,412 You realize if we could get a tight clamp around the bulb... 349 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,414 No, no, no, you'll break the thing. 350 00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:25,983 Here's the thing about bulbs. 351 00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:28,185 They're structurally weak at the narrow end, 352 00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:29,987 but the round end is surprisingly strong. 353 00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:31,555 If we can get behind the bulb... 354 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,590 I see where you're headed. We go down the mouth. 355 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,026 Your turn's over. 356 00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:37,962 All we need to do is thread an angioplasty balloon 357 00:16:38,064 --> 00:16:39,964 - past the bulb... - Inflate it... 358 00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:43,267 - And then pull. - Pull it. 359 00:16:43,369 --> 00:16:45,436 I concur. 360 00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:50,507 - Doctor. - Doctor. 361 00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:52,342 - Doctor. - Doctor. 362 00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:55,646 - Doctor. - No. 363 00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:58,816 Doug wanted me to give this patient 364 00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:00,384 500,000 milligrams of morphine. 365 00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:03,220 I thought I'd check with you before I killed a man. 366 00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:06,490 Unbelievable, Doug. 367 00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:08,693 Don't worry. I just came to check on my patients. 368 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,761 Do whatever you want. Just don't come to my area. 369 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,696 You couldn't pay me to come to your area. 370 00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:15,099 - I wouldn't pay you. - You don't have enough money. 371 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:18,102 It so happens I have a rich uncle who'd do anything for me, 372 00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:21,205 but I'd never call in that favor to pay you to come to my area. 373 00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:23,007 Got her. 374 00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:26,543 I hate to interrupt, but you need to take a look at this man. 375 00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:29,247 - Elliot, he's in V-tach. - Get the crash cart. 376 00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:30,347 Give one milligram epi. 377 00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,082 the best thing about this place 378 00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:33,717 is that when someone's in trouble, 379 00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:36,086 all the pettiness melts away. 380 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,657 What are you doing? 381 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,725 Well, I'm tired of trying to find my office, 382 00:17:41,827 --> 00:17:43,594 so I just set up shop here. 383 00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:45,863 Oh! OK, that's not weird. 384 00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:48,599 Look, I want to apologize for my wife. 385 00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,368 She'd never admit it to you, 386 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:53,871 but she likes to be the person who tells everybody what to do. 387 00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:56,240 Apparently she can't get enough of it at home. 388 00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:57,842 Right? Right? 389 00:17:57,944 --> 00:18:00,244 Wrong. Look... 390 00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:02,213 If every once in a while 391 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:05,216 you could let her be the one to give the advice, 392 00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:06,918 you guys might end up being friends. 393 00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:08,686 I can do that... 394 00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:12,656 ...and tell Carla that you did well. 395 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,295 You truly underestimate how proud my wife is. 396 00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:20,364 If she knew I was here, she'd kill me. 397 00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:22,767 All right. 398 00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:29,573 What happened to the part about how much I help people? 399 00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:32,209 - She said I did well. - Turtlehead. 400 00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:35,112 You're gonna want to get a piece of this. Come on. 401 00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:38,015 - Where'd you get the coat? - I earned it. 402 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,450 Let's get our moment. 403 00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:42,686 Thanks for all the hard work, Bob. 404 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,088 Glad to do it. 405 00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:45,456 Oh, and, uh, Bart, 406 00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:48,358 I think Lyle might be ready for that rough-sex-play talk 407 00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:51,395 you had with your other boys. 408 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,131 Too late. 409 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,235 Can you imagine us trying to do that three years ago? 410 00:18:58,337 --> 00:18:59,403 I know. 411 00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:00,871 Remember our first code? 412 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,708 Well, I remember hiding in a supply closet. 413 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,342 That's the one. 414 00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:07,345 Ultimately, conflict is resolved 415 00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:10,847 by remembering why you were friends in the first place. 416 00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:14,084 Don't hang up, Lester. 417 00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,156 You should talk to her. You know her better. 418 00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:21,692 Or by swallowing your pride. 419 00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:23,694 I know what you're doing. 420 00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,864 But I'm OK with it. 421 00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:35,305 - He's coming. - Get your ass out here. 422 00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:38,309 Or by uniting against the moment-stealing common enemy 423 00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:40,311 who took credit for your ingenious method 424 00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:43,947 of debulbing a patient's keister. 425 00:19:56,962 --> 00:20:00,164 Good Lord! 426 00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:03,367 In the end, though, it doesn't matter how you get there. 427 00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:05,402 As long as you're friends again. 428 00:20:05,504 --> 00:20:07,404 I miss this. 429 00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:10,708 Just, like, hanging out, you know? 430 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:12,810 Me too. 431 00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,945 We should go get coffee. 432 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,647 We're having coffee. 433 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,949 No, no, I mean, like, outside coffee. 434 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,384 Real world coffee. 435 00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:23,387 The point is we should hang out 436 00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:25,255 outside the hospital sometime. 437 00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:27,892 J.D., I still need time. 438 00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:29,593 I know that's gonna be hard for you 439 00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:32,095 because you like to fix everything right away, but... 440 00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:35,198 ...you just do the best you can, OK? 441 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:42,305 - Is it fixed now? - Nope. 442 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:45,075 Shoot! 443 00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:17,674 Bye-bye.