1 00:00:02,209 --> 00:00:04,142 GIRL: Four, three, two, one! 2 00:00:04,245 --> 00:00:09,147 [ rock music playing] 3 00:00:09,250 --> 00:00:12,150 ♪ Every birthday, my mom and dad would say ♪ 4 00:00:12,253 --> 00:00:15,912 ♪ "You're another year older, another year wiser" ♪ 5 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,603 ♪ But I still go to school 6 00:00:17,707 --> 00:00:19,364 ♪ To get an education 7 00:00:19,467 --> 00:00:21,228 ♪ I treat each and every day 8 00:00:21,331 --> 00:00:22,815 ♪ Like a mini vacation 9 00:00:22,919 --> 00:00:23,885 ♪ All grown up! 10 00:00:23,989 --> 00:00:26,336 ♪ I really want to shout it out ♪ 11 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:27,682 ♪ All grown up! 12 00:00:27,786 --> 00:00:29,615 ♪ I want the world to know 13 00:00:29,719 --> 00:00:30,996 ♪ All grown up! 14 00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:33,240 ♪ I really want to shout it out ♪ 15 00:00:33,343 --> 00:00:34,310 ♪ All grown up 16 00:00:34,413 --> 00:00:37,106 ♪ With you 17 00:00:37,209 --> 00:00:38,935 ♪ All grown up with... 18 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,661 ♪ you. 19 00:00:40,764 --> 00:00:43,698 Captioning sponsored by NICKELODEON 20 00:00:46,667 --> 00:00:47,944 [ school bell ringing] 21 00:00:49,532 --> 00:00:51,465 GIRL: I thought I'd die of boredom. 22 00:00:51,568 --> 00:00:52,535 If only. 23 00:00:52,638 --> 00:00:54,778 At least then I'd be out of my misery. 24 00:00:54,882 --> 00:00:57,333 Did you understand one single thing that man said? 25 00:00:57,436 --> 00:00:58,713 Only equations one through 60 26 00:00:58,817 --> 00:01:00,370 are due tomorrow. 27 00:01:00,474 --> 00:01:02,303 Yeah, what a drip. 28 00:01:02,407 --> 00:01:03,270 I don't even think 29 00:01:03,373 --> 00:01:04,340 he knows anyone's name; 30 00:01:04,443 --> 00:01:06,307 he's always looking on the seating chart. 31 00:01:06,411 --> 00:01:07,343 Mr. Marsh has got to be 32 00:01:07,446 --> 00:01:08,896 the worst math teacher ever. 33 00:01:08,999 --> 00:01:09,897 Ever. 34 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,209 SUSIE: Thanks, Mr. Marsh. 35 00:01:11,312 --> 00:01:12,762 I'll be sure to return 36 00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:14,729 that quantum mechanics book. 37 00:01:14,833 --> 00:01:15,765 Hey, girls. 38 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:18,285 You stopped to talk to Mr. Marsh? 39 00:01:18,388 --> 00:01:19,941 Of course not. 40 00:01:20,045 --> 00:01:21,357 He stopped and talked to me. 41 00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:23,083 He knew your name? 42 00:01:23,186 --> 00:01:25,223 Of course he knows hername. 43 00:01:25,326 --> 00:01:26,603 It's Miss Perfect. 44 00:01:26,707 --> 00:01:27,811 Perfect? 45 00:01:27,915 --> 00:01:29,227 I don't think so. 46 00:01:29,330 --> 00:01:30,607 Please. 47 00:01:30,711 --> 00:01:33,300 Perfect grades, perfect attendance... 48 00:01:33,403 --> 00:01:35,371 Perfect oral hygiene. 49 00:01:35,474 --> 00:01:38,891 It must be so nice gliding through life. 50 00:01:38,995 --> 00:01:40,548 But as our teen years advance, Susie, 51 00:01:40,652 --> 00:01:42,032 you do increasingly run the risk 52 00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:42,930 of being seen as a... 53 00:01:43,033 --> 00:01:44,759 hmm, how shall I say it? 54 00:01:44,863 --> 00:01:46,692 A goody-goody. 55 00:01:46,796 --> 00:01:48,108 A goody-goody?! 56 00:01:48,211 --> 00:01:49,902 You know, just something to think about 57 00:01:50,006 --> 00:01:52,629 as you hover on the brink of say, uh, boring. 58 00:01:52,733 --> 00:01:54,666 [ girls laughing] 59 00:01:54,769 --> 00:01:56,875 Boring?! 60 00:01:56,978 --> 00:01:58,118 Did you just hear that? 61 00:01:58,221 --> 00:01:59,291 Yeah, and keep away. 62 00:01:59,395 --> 00:02:01,224 I don't want any of that goody-goody stuff 63 00:02:01,328 --> 00:02:02,812 rubbing off on me. 64 00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:04,745 I am not a goody-goody. 65 00:02:04,848 --> 00:02:05,608 I mean... 66 00:02:05,711 --> 00:02:06,609 Okay. 67 00:02:06,712 --> 00:02:07,644 Just last week, 68 00:02:07,748 --> 00:02:09,405 I, uh... 69 00:02:09,508 --> 00:02:11,786 Ooh, and then there was... 70 00:02:12,891 --> 00:02:14,651 I almost tipped a cow once. 71 00:02:14,755 --> 00:02:15,928 Remember? 72 00:02:16,032 --> 00:02:17,482 "Almost" doesn't cut it. 73 00:02:17,585 --> 00:02:18,655 Now, if you'll excuse me, 74 00:02:18,759 --> 00:02:20,381 I want to make an anonymous statement 75 00:02:20,485 --> 00:02:21,382 about Marsh the Harsh. 76 00:02:21,486 --> 00:02:22,625 SUSIE:No! 77 00:02:22,728 --> 00:02:24,005 I'll do it. 78 00:02:28,665 --> 00:02:30,874 You call that insulting? 79 00:02:30,978 --> 00:02:33,049 I-I was just warming up. 80 00:02:35,845 --> 00:02:37,536 Now, that's more like it. 81 00:02:39,331 --> 00:02:42,231 PHIL: Of course I got my paperwork in on time. 82 00:02:42,334 --> 00:02:44,716 I just can't remember which elective I picked is all. 83 00:02:44,819 --> 00:02:47,339 How hard is it to remember one class? 84 00:02:47,443 --> 00:02:49,652 I remember I signed up for news photography. 85 00:02:49,755 --> 00:02:53,449 And I'm going to get me some serious by-line in journalism. 86 00:02:53,552 --> 00:02:56,348 I even made up a nickname for myself. 87 00:02:56,452 --> 00:02:58,695 Go ahead, guess. 88 00:02:58,799 --> 00:02:59,903 Bet you can't. 89 00:03:00,007 --> 00:03:00,801 "Scoop." 90 00:03:00,904 --> 00:03:03,424 Aw, man, you guessed. 91 00:03:03,528 --> 00:03:05,806 Now, was it shop class... 92 00:03:06,807 --> 00:03:08,567 Sweet. 93 00:03:08,671 --> 00:03:11,052 Except it might have been astronomy. 94 00:03:15,298 --> 00:03:19,371 Not bad, but now I'm thinking it was synchronized swim. 95 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,829 Okay, I'm hoping it's not that. 96 00:03:28,932 --> 00:03:29,830 TOMMY: It isn't. 97 00:03:29,933 --> 00:03:31,659 It's cooking. 98 00:03:31,763 --> 00:03:32,522 What?! 99 00:03:34,869 --> 00:03:36,768 [ softly]: I didn't sign up for that. 100 00:03:36,871 --> 00:03:38,977 No, the school did. 101 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:40,461 It's the fallback class. 102 00:03:40,565 --> 00:03:42,808 When you don't sign up for anything... 103 00:03:42,912 --> 00:03:43,844 Cooking?! 104 00:03:43,947 --> 00:03:45,708 [ sighs] 105 00:03:45,811 --> 00:03:47,572 Might as well go to the football field 106 00:03:47,675 --> 00:03:50,333 and get the beating over with now. 107 00:03:50,437 --> 00:03:54,682 [ dryly]: The sextant of quadrant B intersects here. 108 00:03:54,786 --> 00:03:58,824 So exponent y is 7 over 29. 109 00:03:58,928 --> 00:04:01,620 Or is it 9 over 27? 110 00:04:01,724 --> 00:04:03,243 [ Pangborn clears throat over loudspeaker] 111 00:04:03,346 --> 00:04:05,314 A little announcement. 112 00:04:05,417 --> 00:04:06,625 I have just been informed 113 00:04:06,729 --> 00:04:09,421 that some young lady has taken to rendering some art 114 00:04:09,525 --> 00:04:13,908 in the girls' room, and not that I'm pointing any fingers... 115 00:04:14,012 --> 00:04:16,704 but Angelica Pickles is to report to my office immediately! 116 00:04:16,808 --> 00:04:17,740 Me? 117 00:04:17,843 --> 00:04:19,914 Oh, you're Pickles? 118 00:04:20,018 --> 00:04:20,915 Here. 119 00:04:21,019 --> 00:04:22,054 But, sir... 120 00:04:22,158 --> 00:04:25,195 I'm the one who graffitied the girls' room. 121 00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:27,059 [ class laughs] 122 00:04:27,163 --> 00:04:30,822 Susie Carmichael, it's very gallant for you 123 00:04:30,925 --> 00:04:32,893 to want to take the fall for a friend, 124 00:04:32,996 --> 00:04:35,136 but that won't be necessary. 125 00:04:36,103 --> 00:04:37,311 [ groans] 126 00:04:38,381 --> 00:04:40,694 [ door opens, closes] 127 00:04:40,797 --> 00:04:44,594 And the ability to separate yolks from whites 128 00:04:44,698 --> 00:04:47,666 is a cornerstone in the culinary arts. 129 00:04:47,770 --> 00:04:51,843 We shift the yolk back and forth between the two shells, 130 00:04:51,946 --> 00:04:57,193 thusly allowing the egg white to fall into our bowl. 131 00:04:58,194 --> 00:05:00,127 Now, I know this is difficult, 132 00:05:00,230 --> 00:05:03,613 so I don't expect you to get this right... away. 133 00:05:03,717 --> 00:05:04,580 [ class gasps] 134 00:05:04,683 --> 00:05:06,236 [ sighs boredly] 135 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,865 Impressive, but know what to do with this? 136 00:05:21,528 --> 00:05:22,667 Get the yolk. 137 00:05:22,770 --> 00:05:24,772 And it's down. 138 00:05:24,876 --> 00:05:25,773 And then it's over. 139 00:05:25,877 --> 00:05:26,740 Pow! 140 00:05:26,843 --> 00:05:28,535 [ laughs] 141 00:05:32,055 --> 00:05:33,954 Oh... 142 00:05:34,057 --> 00:05:37,578 The hall monitor claims she saw me leaving the bathroom 143 00:05:37,682 --> 00:05:39,442 right before the graffiti was discovered. 144 00:05:39,546 --> 00:05:42,376 Now I have to scrub the graffiti off the entire bathroom 145 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:46,000 all because of this force field of perfection around you. 146 00:05:46,104 --> 00:05:46,794 This is the worst. 147 00:05:46,898 --> 00:05:47,899 GIRL: Angelica. 148 00:05:48,002 --> 00:05:50,004 Love the misdeed. 149 00:05:50,108 --> 00:05:52,593 You've gained some serious street cred, girl. 150 00:05:52,697 --> 00:05:53,732 GIRL: Is it true 151 00:05:53,836 --> 00:05:55,976 you have to scrub all the bathroom graffiti? 152 00:05:56,079 --> 00:05:57,426 Bathroom? 153 00:05:57,529 --> 00:05:58,944 Try the whole school. 154 00:05:59,048 --> 00:06:00,290 Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. 155 00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:01,533 Sit with us? 156 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:06,883 Hey, it was mymisdeed, therefore mystreet cred. 157 00:06:06,987 --> 00:06:10,266 Oh, Susie, you really are too good to be true. 158 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,992 Now, you just give it up, girl. 159 00:06:12,095 --> 00:06:13,752 I wouldn't have done the crime 160 00:06:13,856 --> 00:06:14,995 if couldn't do the time. 161 00:06:15,098 --> 00:06:15,996 Fine. 162 00:06:16,099 --> 00:06:17,031 You don't believe me? 163 00:06:17,135 --> 00:06:18,826 I'm going to go confess to Pangborn. 164 00:06:18,930 --> 00:06:21,139 Just watch and see who's scrubbing the graffiti 165 00:06:21,242 --> 00:06:23,003 off the walls around here. 166 00:06:26,075 --> 00:06:28,664 [ Pangborn laughing uproariously] 167 00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:33,979 But I am telling the truth-- I did it! 168 00:06:34,083 --> 00:06:36,499 [ laughing] 169 00:06:36,603 --> 00:06:37,535 [ choking] 170 00:06:37,638 --> 00:06:38,777 [ gasps] 171 00:06:38,881 --> 00:06:41,021 [ choking] 172 00:06:41,124 --> 00:06:42,056 [ groans sharply] 173 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:43,368 [ food splats] 174 00:06:43,472 --> 00:06:46,267 Susie, what can I say? 175 00:06:46,371 --> 00:06:48,200 You saved my life. 176 00:06:48,304 --> 00:06:51,825 Didn't mean to, it just sort of happened. 177 00:06:51,928 --> 00:06:54,552 But you sure had me going there. 178 00:06:54,655 --> 00:07:00,143 The day Susie Carmichael goes bad is the day chickens fly. 179 00:07:00,247 --> 00:07:01,386 [ laughs] 180 00:07:01,490 --> 00:07:03,526 Now, get back to your class before you mess up 181 00:07:03,630 --> 00:07:05,079 your perfect attendance record. 182 00:07:05,183 --> 00:07:06,253 You hear? 183 00:07:06,356 --> 00:07:09,498 [ guffawing] 184 00:07:09,601 --> 00:07:10,809 [ groaning]: Oh... 185 00:07:12,742 --> 00:07:16,159 "All-Around Perfect Student." 186 00:07:16,263 --> 00:07:18,438 Well, look out, people. 187 00:07:18,541 --> 00:07:20,681 There's going to be eggs on the sidewalk, 188 00:07:20,785 --> 00:07:22,787 because chickens are going to fly! 189 00:07:25,203 --> 00:07:27,688 KIMI: Are you sure you want to mess with this perfect thing? 190 00:07:27,792 --> 00:07:30,484 Yeah-- you've, like... perfected it. 191 00:07:30,588 --> 00:07:32,521 Well, I am over it. 192 00:07:32,624 --> 00:07:34,902 I am tired of everyone thinking I'm so perfect. 193 00:07:35,006 --> 00:07:38,078 And I'm going to start with some wicked pranks, 194 00:07:38,181 --> 00:07:41,564 like turning all the library books backwards. 195 00:07:41,668 --> 00:07:42,807 [ giggling] 196 00:07:42,910 --> 00:07:45,016 [ bell rings] 197 00:07:47,915 --> 00:07:48,882 Mrs. Hamfish? 198 00:07:48,985 --> 00:07:50,642 I need to do some research. 199 00:07:50,746 --> 00:07:53,645 Mind if I stay an extra hour? 200 00:07:53,749 --> 00:07:56,027 Just remember to lock up. 201 00:07:56,130 --> 00:07:57,235 Listen to me-- 202 00:07:57,338 --> 00:08:00,859 like I need to tell Susie Carmichael that. 203 00:08:04,173 --> 00:08:06,658 [ laughing sinisterly] 204 00:08:07,694 --> 00:08:08,867 Hey. 205 00:08:08,971 --> 00:08:12,353 What's an "M" doing with all the "A's"? 206 00:08:13,389 --> 00:08:15,218 An "S"?! 207 00:08:15,322 --> 00:08:17,151 Were you people raised in a barn? 208 00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:24,262 Dickens, Dostoyevsky... 209 00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,320 [ door opens, man whistles] 210 00:09:22,423 --> 00:09:24,287 P-jiminy! 211 00:09:24,391 --> 00:09:26,186 That sure looks festive. 212 00:09:26,289 --> 00:09:27,463 Thanks! 213 00:09:30,949 --> 00:09:31,847 D'oh! 214 00:09:33,193 --> 00:09:36,921 She called me a culinary genius. 215 00:09:37,024 --> 00:09:37,611 Can you imagine? 216 00:09:37,715 --> 00:09:39,648 Me, a genius? 217 00:09:39,751 --> 00:09:42,685 Mrs. Cunningham said if I keep working at it, 218 00:09:42,789 --> 00:09:44,722 maybe one day I could have my own cooking show. 219 00:09:44,825 --> 00:09:45,757 [ sniffing] 220 00:09:45,861 --> 00:09:47,000 Ugh... 221 00:09:47,103 --> 00:09:50,037 How about calling it "School Cafeteria Makeover"? 222 00:09:50,141 --> 00:09:54,145 All it needs is a little parsley. 223 00:09:54,248 --> 00:09:55,560 Ugh, don't tell me. 224 00:09:55,664 --> 00:09:58,736 You're going to use curly-leaf, am I right? 225 00:09:58,839 --> 00:10:00,116 Step aside, knave. 226 00:10:20,689 --> 00:10:24,900 It's, like, I'm genetically incapable of being bad. 227 00:10:25,003 --> 00:10:26,764 LIL: So? We like you the way you are. 228 00:10:26,867 --> 00:10:29,939 What, on the edge of... boring? 229 00:10:30,043 --> 00:10:32,942 I am so goody-goody, I even ran out of ideas 230 00:10:33,046 --> 00:10:34,461 for bad things to do. 231 00:10:35,911 --> 00:10:37,567 You could start a food fight. 232 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,225 But they just repainted it here. 233 00:10:40,329 --> 00:10:41,779 And... 234 00:10:43,090 --> 00:10:44,333 Hand me the sandwich. 235 00:10:46,266 --> 00:10:47,060 Wait! 236 00:10:47,163 --> 00:10:49,614 It's all about presentation. 237 00:10:50,580 --> 00:10:52,513 Okay, now just throw it. 238 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,656 Well? 239 00:11:00,142 --> 00:11:01,419 Where'd it go? 240 00:11:01,522 --> 00:11:02,696 You threw it, right? 241 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,009 Of course I threw it! 242 00:11:05,975 --> 00:11:07,080 [ gasps] 243 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,462 It isn't me... 244 00:11:10,566 --> 00:11:13,603 It-it's my hand, it won't let go! 245 00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:14,708 Creepy. 246 00:11:16,020 --> 00:11:17,538 Angelica's right: 247 00:11:17,642 --> 00:11:20,956 I do have this force field of perfection around me. 248 00:11:21,059 --> 00:11:23,752 I'll always be reliable, always get good grades, 249 00:11:23,855 --> 00:11:26,962 always floss, and always do the right thing. 250 00:11:27,065 --> 00:11:29,965 I'll probably end up president of the United States. 251 00:11:30,068 --> 00:11:32,036 My life stinks! 252 00:11:32,139 --> 00:11:33,382 MAN: Do all your homework? 253 00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:34,348 Yes. 254 00:11:34,452 --> 00:11:35,660 How about the extra credit? 255 00:11:35,764 --> 00:11:36,661 Yes. 256 00:11:36,765 --> 00:11:37,904 Draft that essay 257 00:11:38,007 --> 00:11:39,629 about why I'd like to go to space camp this summer? 258 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:42,080 Yes, yes and yes! 259 00:11:42,184 --> 00:11:44,496 Did you just mouth off to me? 260 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:45,325 No, I didn'... 261 00:11:46,602 --> 00:11:47,499 Yeah... 262 00:11:47,603 --> 00:11:50,088 Yes! Yes, I did. 263 00:11:50,192 --> 00:11:51,400 I did mouth off! 264 00:11:51,503 --> 00:11:53,367 There's hope for me yet! 265 00:11:53,471 --> 00:11:54,852 [ whooping] 266 00:11:54,955 --> 00:11:57,095 That's right! I'm bad! 267 00:11:58,303 --> 00:11:59,580 [ door closes] 268 00:11:59,684 --> 00:12:02,169 PHIL: See, Chuckie, you've been doing it all wrong. 269 00:12:02,273 --> 00:12:05,000 You have to add the fruit while the blender's going 270 00:12:05,103 --> 00:12:07,934 so you emulsify the ingredients, see. 271 00:12:08,037 --> 00:12:10,833 You just don't want to throw everything in there 272 00:12:10,937 --> 00:12:12,904 and hit "puree"-- that's amateur hour. 273 00:12:13,008 --> 00:12:14,181 Darn, forgot the mango. 274 00:12:14,285 --> 00:12:15,389 You ain't seen nothing 275 00:12:15,493 --> 00:12:17,081 till you see me pit a mango. 276 00:12:18,841 --> 00:12:20,843 You got to help me! 277 00:12:20,947 --> 00:12:23,570 He's been here for two hours lecturing me 278 00:12:23,673 --> 00:12:27,401 on things like prep and the proper way to peel a banana! 279 00:12:27,505 --> 00:12:29,507 Isn't there only one way to peel a banana? 280 00:12:29,610 --> 00:12:32,752 No, Tommy, no, there isn't. 281 00:12:32,855 --> 00:12:34,581 I can't take it anymore. 282 00:12:34,684 --> 00:12:36,790 We need to do something about it! 283 00:12:36,894 --> 00:12:38,585 I know he's annoying, 284 00:12:38,688 --> 00:12:40,276 but shouldn't we be happy for him? 285 00:12:40,380 --> 00:12:41,864 Phil's found something 286 00:12:41,968 --> 00:12:43,452 he's really good at-- food. 287 00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,868 I just never expected it from a guy 288 00:12:45,972 --> 00:12:48,802 who just last week filled his bellybutton with peanut butter 289 00:12:48,906 --> 00:12:50,217 and called it a meal. 290 00:12:50,321 --> 00:12:52,564 Ah, glad you're here, Tom. 291 00:12:52,668 --> 00:12:54,808 I was thinking about your mom's fajitas. 292 00:12:54,912 --> 00:12:57,086 Her specialty-- got to love it. 293 00:12:57,190 --> 00:12:59,123 No, you don't. 294 00:12:59,226 --> 00:13:01,159 Walk with me. 295 00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:07,303 ANGELICA: And then Pangborn told me if I ever did graffiti again... 296 00:13:07,407 --> 00:13:09,374 He'd suspend you.He'd suspend you. 297 00:13:09,478 --> 00:13:11,963 Did I tell you about how his neck hairs stood on end 298 00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:12,964 when he yelled at me? 299 00:13:13,068 --> 00:13:14,414 Each and every follicle. 300 00:13:14,517 --> 00:13:18,211 Face it, Angelica, your bad isn't good anymore. 301 00:13:18,314 --> 00:13:19,522 [ kids gasping] 302 00:13:23,078 --> 00:13:25,356 Susie, is that you?! 303 00:13:26,391 --> 00:13:28,704 What's up, fool? 304 00:13:31,051 --> 00:13:32,639 I just can't believe it. 305 00:13:32,742 --> 00:13:34,192 You look so... 306 00:13:34,296 --> 00:13:35,159 Bad. 307 00:13:35,262 --> 00:13:38,576 Yes, you look bad, but are you? 308 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:40,543 Susie Carmichael? 309 00:13:40,647 --> 00:13:42,580 She wouldn't hurt a fly. 310 00:13:42,683 --> 00:13:43,892 [ buzzing sickly] 311 00:13:43,995 --> 00:13:48,137 Well, judge for yourselves just how bad I am. 312 00:13:50,139 --> 00:13:52,797 Sorry, got my vest caught in the copy machine, 313 00:13:52,901 --> 00:13:56,111 so I'm going to have to write today's quiz on the board. 314 00:13:57,112 --> 00:13:58,907 [ scratching] 315 00:13:59,010 --> 00:14:01,150 [ students titter] 316 00:14:02,186 --> 00:14:04,326 MARSH: Hmm... 317 00:14:04,429 --> 00:14:06,155 how'd this get in here? 318 00:14:08,192 --> 00:14:10,021 ANGELICA: I mean, big deal. 319 00:14:10,125 --> 00:14:11,471 Chalk in the eraser. 320 00:14:11,574 --> 00:14:13,197 Seen it a million times. 321 00:14:14,232 --> 00:14:15,475 And that one, too. 322 00:14:15,578 --> 00:14:16,614 And did you grease 323 00:14:16,717 --> 00:14:18,650 all the toilet seats in the girls' room? 324 00:14:18,754 --> 00:14:20,790 Hmm, maybe. 325 00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,447 That was you? 326 00:14:22,551 --> 00:14:23,966 I could've used a warning. 327 00:14:24,070 --> 00:14:25,416 Gee, Angelica, 328 00:14:25,519 --> 00:14:28,868 Susie's getting to be better at this than you. 329 00:14:28,971 --> 00:14:32,492 All those things are straight out of Bad for Morons. 330 00:14:32,595 --> 00:14:34,080 Well, here's one that isn't. 331 00:14:34,183 --> 00:14:35,978 You know that old pair of sneakers 332 00:14:36,082 --> 00:14:39,326 hanging the top of the abandoned telephone company building? 333 00:14:39,430 --> 00:14:41,432 The ones that those two football players 334 00:14:41,535 --> 00:14:44,435 stole from a freshman and stuck up there a long time ago? 335 00:14:44,538 --> 00:14:46,955 Only when they were coming down, they fell off? 336 00:14:47,058 --> 00:14:48,266 One of them broke his leg 337 00:14:48,370 --> 00:14:51,062 and the other one can't say "thermometer" anymore? 338 00:14:51,166 --> 00:14:52,029 Uh-huh. 339 00:14:52,132 --> 00:14:54,100 Never heard of them. 340 00:14:54,203 --> 00:14:56,171 No one's gone up there to get them since 341 00:14:56,274 --> 00:14:58,173 because they're too afraid. 342 00:14:58,276 --> 00:15:01,245 And you want one of us to go up there get them? 343 00:15:01,348 --> 00:15:03,074 You'd make bad history. 344 00:15:03,178 --> 00:15:04,041 This is insulting. 345 00:15:04,144 --> 00:15:05,525 Insulting! 346 00:15:05,628 --> 00:15:06,767 I've spent my whole life 347 00:15:06,871 --> 00:15:09,149 lying, cheating and manipulating people. 348 00:15:09,253 --> 00:15:10,530 No, ten lifetimes! 349 00:15:10,633 --> 00:15:13,671 I don't need to prove how bad I am to anyone. 350 00:15:13,774 --> 00:15:14,534 Nuh-uh! 351 00:15:14,637 --> 00:15:17,019 My résumé is full. 352 00:15:17,123 --> 00:15:18,020 I'll do it. 353 00:15:18,124 --> 00:15:19,608 You're on. 354 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,199 TOMMY: Okay, Phil, step away from the whisk. 355 00:15:24,302 --> 00:15:25,234 Huh? 356 00:15:25,338 --> 00:15:27,512 We're here to help you, son. 357 00:15:27,616 --> 00:15:28,893 Have you guys gone loco? 358 00:15:28,997 --> 00:15:31,896 The step is to admit you have a problem. 359 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,380 I do-- 360 00:15:33,484 --> 00:15:35,555 these eggs aren't organic. 361 00:15:36,694 --> 00:15:38,351 [ grunting] 362 00:15:38,454 --> 00:15:39,455 Hey! 363 00:15:39,559 --> 00:15:40,663 Oh! 364 00:15:40,767 --> 00:15:41,906 Poor thing. 365 00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:43,356 Look at yourself, Phil. 366 00:15:43,459 --> 00:15:45,910 All you think about these days is food. 367 00:15:46,014 --> 00:15:49,086 The other night at my house, you made my mom cry. 368 00:15:49,189 --> 00:15:51,536 Well, frozen peas! 369 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,676 You can't let something like that go. 370 00:15:53,780 --> 00:15:55,092 You know what? 371 00:15:55,195 --> 00:15:57,715 I think you guys are jealous because I've found 372 00:15:57,818 --> 00:15:59,993 something I'm really good at and you guys didn't. 373 00:16:00,097 --> 00:16:02,892 In fact, I have been chosen 374 00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,619 to do a cooking demonstration tonight for the school board. 375 00:16:05,723 --> 00:16:07,207 I was going to invite you guys, 376 00:16:07,311 --> 00:16:10,245 but since you think I'm just some bizarro food snob, 377 00:16:10,348 --> 00:16:11,694 you can stuff it! 378 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,077 [ licking] 379 00:16:15,181 --> 00:16:15,871 Ahh... 380 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,011 Wow, he is good. 381 00:16:18,115 --> 00:16:19,771 [ wind whistling] 382 00:16:21,877 --> 00:16:23,948 Doesn't look so scary to me. 383 00:16:24,052 --> 00:16:25,570 A walk in the park. 384 00:16:26,847 --> 00:16:28,228 What were we even thinking? 385 00:16:28,332 --> 00:16:30,265 I'm blowing this pop stand. 386 00:16:30,368 --> 00:16:31,300 Me, too. 387 00:16:31,404 --> 00:16:33,751 I mean, there is a world of difference 388 00:16:33,854 --> 00:16:36,409 between being bad and being stupid. 389 00:16:36,512 --> 00:16:39,239 No one could have said it more perfectly. 390 00:16:39,343 --> 00:16:40,344 See you tomorrow. 391 00:16:41,655 --> 00:16:44,451 Yeah... I'll see you. 392 00:16:55,324 --> 00:16:56,463 [ knock at door] 393 00:16:56,567 --> 00:16:57,602 In a minute! 394 00:16:57,706 --> 00:16:59,087 My base coat's still tacky. 395 00:16:59,190 --> 00:17:01,572 Angelica, you got to... 396 00:17:01,675 --> 00:17:02,642 Yike! 397 00:17:02,745 --> 00:17:04,747 Hey, beauty isn't pretty. 398 00:17:04,851 --> 00:17:05,955 Now, if you don't mind, 399 00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:08,234 I'm in the middle of a home spa treatment. 400 00:17:08,337 --> 00:17:11,202 But Susie's climbing the phone company building. 401 00:17:11,306 --> 00:17:13,377 What?! She said she was going home. 402 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:14,826 Uh-uh. 403 00:17:14,930 --> 00:17:16,587 We went by to see how scary the place was 404 00:17:16,690 --> 00:17:18,347 and she had already snuck in. 405 00:17:18,451 --> 00:17:20,660 We tried to talk her out of it, but we couldn't. 406 00:17:20,763 --> 00:17:21,902 Give me a minute. 407 00:17:22,006 --> 00:17:24,491 You've seen that place-- we don't have a minute! 408 00:17:24,595 --> 00:17:25,768 Okay, okay. 409 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,054 They won't be back for another hour. 410 00:17:35,157 --> 00:17:37,573 LIL: There she is! 411 00:17:37,677 --> 00:17:40,714 It doesn't look sturdy enough to hold all of us. 412 00:17:40,818 --> 00:17:42,061 And I had a big dinner. 413 00:17:42,164 --> 00:17:44,580 Fine, I'll go. 414 00:17:48,826 --> 00:17:50,586 [ grunting] 415 00:17:50,690 --> 00:17:54,280 [ panting] 416 00:18:03,496 --> 00:18:05,256 ANGELICA: Stop! 417 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:08,915 [ gasping] 418 00:18:09,018 --> 00:18:11,918 You got to stop skipping gym class, girl. 419 00:18:12,021 --> 00:18:14,127 Look, Susie, you said yourself 420 00:18:14,231 --> 00:18:17,579 there's a big difference between bad and stupid, 421 00:18:17,682 --> 00:18:19,581 and this is stupid. 422 00:18:19,684 --> 00:18:22,066 Forget it. I didn't get all the way up here 423 00:18:22,170 --> 00:18:24,068 notto get those sneakers. 424 00:18:29,211 --> 00:18:30,247 Oh, man! 425 00:18:30,350 --> 00:18:32,490 Now I know why those football players fell. 426 00:18:32,594 --> 00:18:35,493 They must have passed out from the smell of those things. 427 00:18:35,597 --> 00:18:37,426 I mean, we are talking ripe. 428 00:18:37,530 --> 00:18:39,152 Stop! 429 00:18:39,256 --> 00:18:40,912 Listen to me... 430 00:18:41,016 --> 00:18:44,364 If you get those sneakers down, you won't be proving you're bad. 431 00:18:44,468 --> 00:18:49,128 You'll just be doing one more thing absolutely perfectly! 432 00:18:49,231 --> 00:18:52,579 Now, do you really want that hanging over your head? 433 00:18:53,856 --> 00:18:56,342 You do have a good point. 434 00:18:56,445 --> 00:18:57,998 I do? 435 00:18:58,102 --> 00:18:59,207 I do. 436 00:18:59,310 --> 00:19:00,449 Now, let's go home. 437 00:19:00,553 --> 00:19:02,417 [ screaming] 438 00:19:05,074 --> 00:19:08,733 [ screaming continues] 439 00:19:15,430 --> 00:19:18,329 Angelica, I don't know if I can hang on. 440 00:19:18,433 --> 00:19:22,713 You don't and I'll never speak to you again-- literally! 441 00:19:22,816 --> 00:19:25,716 If we sprint, we can probably catch up with that patrol car. 442 00:19:25,819 --> 00:19:27,890 Hang on! 443 00:19:27,994 --> 00:19:29,651 ANGELICA: Did you hear that? 444 00:19:29,754 --> 00:19:30,824 We just have to hang on. 445 00:19:30,928 --> 00:19:33,482 And hope these laces hold out. 446 00:19:33,586 --> 00:19:34,759 [ moaning] 447 00:19:36,278 --> 00:19:37,866 TOMMY: You realize this may be 448 00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:40,248 the last time we hang out with Phil? 449 00:19:40,351 --> 00:19:42,422 And I say this as a journalist: 450 00:19:42,526 --> 00:19:46,737 It's real hard being objective. 451 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:50,154 [ applause] 452 00:19:50,258 --> 00:19:52,294 Ladies and gentlemen, 453 00:19:52,398 --> 00:19:54,503 tonight I shall be making for you 454 00:19:54,607 --> 00:19:58,127 a Swiss cheese torte with caramelized onions. 455 00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:01,234 AUDIENCE: Ooh... 456 00:20:05,307 --> 00:20:07,240 [ gasping] 457 00:20:07,344 --> 00:20:08,379 ALL: Eww! 458 00:20:08,483 --> 00:20:09,691 What? 459 00:20:09,794 --> 00:20:10,623 What I do? 460 00:20:10,726 --> 00:20:12,590 [ girls groaning] 461 00:20:12,694 --> 00:20:13,971 SUSIE: Where are they? 462 00:20:14,074 --> 00:20:16,422 My fingers feel like they're about to fall off. 463 00:20:16,525 --> 00:20:20,288 You just need something to take your mind off the pain. 464 00:20:20,391 --> 00:20:22,393 I know-- I'll sing. 465 00:20:22,497 --> 00:20:25,154 You sing and I'll let go for sure. 466 00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:28,675 I just can't believe you got us into this 467 00:20:28,779 --> 00:20:30,850 just to prove to Brianna you're not perfect. 468 00:20:30,953 --> 00:20:34,163 Since when do you care about what she thinks? 469 00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:35,855 That's my pathetic deal. 470 00:20:35,958 --> 00:20:36,925 Not her. 471 00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:38,651 I wanted to prove it to myself. 472 00:20:38,754 --> 00:20:40,963 Prove what? 473 00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:43,449 That you can break every bone in your body? 474 00:20:43,552 --> 00:20:46,866 You're the one who never caves to peer pressure. 475 00:20:46,969 --> 00:20:48,868 We need girls like you around 476 00:20:48,971 --> 00:20:51,042 to make the rest of us look bad. 477 00:20:51,146 --> 00:20:53,804 But people don't realize the kind of sweat 478 00:20:53,907 --> 00:20:55,495 that goes into being perfect. 479 00:20:55,599 --> 00:20:58,015 I don't glide through anything, 480 00:20:58,118 --> 00:20:59,223 I have to work at it. 481 00:20:59,327 --> 00:21:00,673 You do? 482 00:21:00,776 --> 00:21:02,571 Of course I do! 483 00:21:03,917 --> 00:21:04,953 Oh. 484 00:21:07,127 --> 00:21:08,681 [ screaming] 485 00:21:08,784 --> 00:21:10,648 [ air hissing] 486 00:21:15,688 --> 00:21:16,585 [ sniffs] 487 00:21:16,689 --> 00:21:17,621 [ groans] 488 00:21:17,724 --> 00:21:19,312 That was the stupidest, 489 00:21:19,416 --> 00:21:21,694 most dangerous, stupidest... 490 00:21:21,797 --> 00:21:23,178 You said that already. 491 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,387 And I'm going to keep saying it, young lady. 492 00:21:25,491 --> 00:21:26,526 You're right. 493 00:21:26,630 --> 00:21:28,148 It was dangerous and stupid, 494 00:21:28,252 --> 00:21:30,150 but don't blame Angelica. 495 00:21:30,254 --> 00:21:32,808 She just came up to talk some sense into me. 496 00:21:32,912 --> 00:21:35,017 I don't believe it. 497 00:21:35,121 --> 00:21:37,157 This was youridea? 498 00:21:37,261 --> 00:21:39,988 Do you realize what this will do to your permanent record? 499 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:43,612 Susie, please... 500 00:21:43,716 --> 00:21:45,373 You don't have to cover for me. 501 00:21:45,476 --> 00:21:47,444 I was the one who started this. 502 00:21:47,547 --> 00:21:49,825 Now, thatI believe. 503 00:21:49,929 --> 00:21:52,380 Folks, I need you to sign off on your kids 504 00:21:52,483 --> 00:21:54,174 and these rank sneakers. 505 00:21:55,624 --> 00:21:57,246 Why did you do that? 506 00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:59,387 Do you know what kind of grief you're going to catch? 507 00:21:59,490 --> 00:22:01,699 Look, you wanted to prove to yourself 508 00:22:01,803 --> 00:22:03,391 you weren't perfect; you did. 509 00:22:03,494 --> 00:22:05,082 No reason you need to mess up 510 00:22:05,185 --> 00:22:06,394 everything you've worked so hard for. 511 00:22:06,497 --> 00:22:07,602 Thanks. 512 00:22:07,705 --> 00:22:10,259 Besides, that kilt- with-the-jeans look-- 513 00:22:10,363 --> 00:22:12,054 you really can't carry it off. 514 00:22:12,158 --> 00:22:13,953 Watch it. 515 00:22:20,028 --> 00:22:23,342 I still can't believe they kicked you out of cooking class. 516 00:22:23,445 --> 00:22:24,895 Who knew there were things 517 00:22:24,998 --> 00:22:26,517 called health regulations? 518 00:22:26,621 --> 00:22:28,243 But you're so good at it. 519 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:29,969 Aw, that's okay, fellas. 520 00:22:30,072 --> 00:22:31,557 I'll find something else. 521 00:22:31,660 --> 00:22:32,937 You know my motto: 522 00:22:33,041 --> 00:22:36,941 "Never pursue a profession where you got to wash your hands." 523 00:22:37,045 --> 00:22:39,219 Swiss cheese torte? 524 00:22:39,323 --> 00:22:41,221 Uh, no, thanks.Rain check? 525 00:22:45,433 --> 00:22:49,368 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 526 00:23:27,682 --> 00:23:29,166 SUSIE: What's up, fool?