1
00:00:07,550 --> 00:00:09,125
-Ume-san.
-Hm?
2
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:14,541
Know anything about this weird, phantom thief
calling card thing on my desk this morning?
3
00:00:14,592 --> 00:00:17,155
So you got one too, Momo-chan.
4
00:00:17,206 --> 00:00:18,966
But what is it?
5
00:00:19,017 --> 00:00:21,562
Some kind of class for the office ladies.
6
00:00:21,613 --> 00:00:24,523
A class?
Think it will be useful?
7
00:00:24,574 --> 00:00:27,546
If I had to say one way or the other...
8
00:00:27,596 --> 00:00:30,100
-It won't be useful.
-Ume-san, you going?
9
00:00:30,150 --> 00:00:32,740
-Yeah.
-Even though it won't be useful...
10
00:00:32,791 --> 00:00:36,994
-Does it help with something?
-If I had to say one way or the other...
11
00:00:37,045 --> 00:00:41,248
-Nothing whatsoever.
-What's with that? You're still going?
12
00:00:41,299 --> 00:00:43,918
-Yeah.
-Even though it's not helpful...
13
00:00:43,969 --> 00:00:46,837
So what's the point of it all?
14
00:00:46,888 --> 00:00:48,932
Come and find out.
15
00:00:51,535 --> 00:00:53,548
VALENTINE MEETING
16
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:29,046
PRETEND THEY'RE WEARING MASKS
17
00:01:29,097 --> 00:01:31,841
Ume-san, I'm having second thoughts...
18
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,634
It will be okay.
19
00:01:33,685 --> 00:01:36,462
-I'm really nervous.
-Don't worry.
20
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:43,792
Wow, there's a lot of girls gathered here.
21
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:48,241
Mic check, mic check.
Uno, dos.
22
00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:52,236
-That woman is the coordinator.
-Coordinator?
23
00:01:52,287 --> 00:01:55,281
Mic check, mic check.
Uno, dos.
24
00:01:55,332 --> 00:01:57,959
Why "uno, dos"
instead of "one, two"?
25
00:01:58,043 --> 00:02:02,088
Easy there, mic-chan.
Don't get upset.
26
00:02:02,172 --> 00:02:04,540
Now she's talking to the mic.
27
00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:07,209
-This is our spot.
-Why do we sit here?
28
00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:10,379
-We're the secretaries.
-Secretaries? What do we do?
29
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:13,674
Just like,
take notes on anything interesting.
30
00:02:13,725 --> 00:02:17,492
-Or don't, if you don't want to.
-Anything goes, huh?
31
00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:21,411
-Good morning, everyone.
-Good morning.
32
00:02:21,462 --> 00:02:25,195
Thank you all for gathering here today.
33
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:28,862
Regarding the previous meeting's question
34
00:02:28,913 --> 00:02:32,770
of whether it's okay to order
a second helping of noodles
35
00:02:32,821 --> 00:02:37,573
when eating ramen with a man,
the result after much deliberation is...
36
00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:39,904
It's okay.
37
00:02:39,955 --> 00:02:43,088
-Remain calm, remain calm.
-What's going on here?
38
00:02:43,139 --> 00:02:48,244
In our survey of male employees
about a woman ordering a second helping
39
00:02:48,295 --> 00:02:54,498
"I'm impressed by her strong appetite"
won out over "I'm turned off by her overeating.
40
00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,676
So don't get worked up.
41
00:02:56,891 --> 00:03:02,881
When eating ramen beside a gentleman,
a second serving of noodles is acceptable.
42
00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:05,843
A third serving is up to your discretion.
43
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:07,594
-I get it.
-You got it.
44
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:12,081
On a similar note, there are some who
when drinking with a gentleman
45
00:03:12,132 --> 00:03:15,978
order a drink even though
they didn't want to drink alcohol.
46
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:19,172
Regarding that...
Order whatever you like.
47
00:03:19,495 --> 00:03:22,234
Remain calm, remain calm.
48
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:27,990
Get what you want, whether it be oolong tea,
or a soda float, or organic fruit juice.
49
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:32,411
And keep your distance from any man
who would complain about it.
50
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:35,789
-You know, she's right.
-Remain calm, remain calm.
51
00:03:35,846 --> 00:03:39,135
Don't nod too enthusiastically!
Remain calm!
52
00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:44,432
Our last topic is the ever controversial
Valentine's Day.
53
00:03:44,868 --> 00:03:49,321
To keep it short, regarding the question
of whether you have to give
54
00:03:49,372 --> 00:03:52,848
obligatory gifts of chocolate
this Valentine's Day...
55
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:56,194
You do have to.
Remain calm, remain calm.
56
00:03:56,245 --> 00:03:57,686
Please remain calm!
57
00:03:57,962 --> 00:04:02,495
The reason being, the number of times
male employess provided refreshments
58
00:04:02,546 --> 00:04:07,233
rose drastically this year.
Therefore, obligatory gifts of chocolate...
59
00:04:07,283 --> 00:04:10,866
must be given.
Remain calm, remain calm!
60
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:15,588
We're not taking questions,
we're not taking any questions!
61
00:04:15,639 --> 00:04:18,749
-Tough, but fair.
-And I want to remind everyone
62
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,601
Being obligated to give chocolate
is not a burden.
63
00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:24,296
The burden is not knowing
if you're supposed to.
64
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:27,090
-That's true.
-So no more questions.
65
00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:29,593
-She's wonderful.
-Isn't she?
66
00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,803
You should already know this
67
00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:36,032
But saying, "In America,
the boys give valentines to the girls."
68
00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:40,644
Or, "Valentine's day is a scheme by
the chocolate industrial complex."
69
00:04:40,695 --> 00:04:42,898
is strictly forbidden.
70
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,325
That's for the best.
71
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:47,958
Think about people's feelings
being told that.
72
00:04:48,114 --> 00:04:52,025
Even one such as I
would not be able to remain calm.
73
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:57,380
We're near the end of our time,
so I will take a single question.
74
00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:58,464
Me!
Me!
75
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,718
Hmm, how about Glasses-chan there?
76
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:07,823
If I think a co-worker is my one true love,
what should I do on Valentine's Day?
77
00:05:10,323 --> 00:05:12,262
Hm?
78
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,732
To answer your question...
79
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,642
Who is he?
That's what I want to know!
80
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,560
Who is it?
81
00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:23,522
We can't end the meeting until I know.
82
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:26,817
Is he from sales? Accounting?
General affairs!?
83
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:30,246
A tall guy from sales...
84
00:05:30,329 --> 00:05:32,991
-So?
-I'm glad I came.
85
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:09,443
-Ume-san, I'm so happy.
-About what?
86
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:12,570
-That season has come again.
-What season?
87
00:06:12,621 --> 00:06:16,542
-You know how I like boys' love stories?
-I didn't know that.
88
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:17,741
{\an8}PRETEND THEY'RE WEARING MASKS
89
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:19,911
But you know the one
that I like most of all?
90
00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:22,721
I'm really not familiar with the genre...
91
00:06:22,772 --> 00:06:26,803
A hint then.
It starts with "Va".
92
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:32,841
"Va"? I don't know any of them,
so knowing how it starts doesn't really help.
93
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:36,928
Next hint...
It ends with "Prince".
94
00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:40,974
-You listening? I haven't the slightest clue.
-You have thirty seconds.
95
00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:44,102
That's a waste of thirty seconds.
I have no idea.
96
00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:47,448
Keep trying, you have ten seconds left.
97
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:52,036
Ten seconds... But there was no point
in giving me any seconds.
98
00:06:54,404 --> 00:06:58,251
Three, two, one!
Your answer, please!
99
00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:02,496
-Sorry, I don't know.
-Need more time?
100
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,258
Please, I've had enough,
just tell me the answer.
101
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:09,387
I'll tell you then.
My favorite boys' love is...
102
00:07:12,107 --> 00:07:16,018
-Vaseline Prince!
-There's no way I was gonna get that!
103
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:20,374
-You know about Vaseline Prince?
-Never heard of it, what's it about?
104
00:07:20,425 --> 00:07:24,976
-It's about brilliant chemist Vasè Lyndon
-Vaseline Din?
105
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:29,981
And shy college student, Dreiskin Hajime
Dry skin Hajime? He has dry skin?
106
00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:35,445
It's a bittersweet, sometimes vexatious,
hyper vaseterical, boys' love story!
107
00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:37,739
What's "vaseterical"?
108
00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:42,494
-I also like the comic book it was based on.
-It looks completely different.
109
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,539
But I'd recommend
you see the musical version.
110
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:49,209
Boys' love on stage is transcendent.
You'll be bawling.
111
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:54,599
I'm not familiar with it, but if you conveyed
it's appeal, I might be interested.
112
00:07:55,308 --> 00:08:00,021
"You're a dry person one only meets
when they're out of vaseline."
113
00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:02,848
-You know?
-I don't know. It was too sudden.
114
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,851
I still don't really understand boys' love...
115
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:09,271
"It's your heart that's dry, not your skin."
116
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:14,025
-You know?
-I don't get it! He doesn't have dry skin?
117
00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:18,071
"Don't be like that,
I'll wipe vaseline on your nasolabial fold."
118
00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:20,555
-What is that!?
-It's right here.
119
00:08:20,605 --> 00:08:25,078
-Don't put vaseline there!
-Why do you reject me so!?
120
00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:31,427
I'm not rejecting you, I just need
a bit more convincing, okay? That's all.
121
00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:36,265
-I'm just still not understanding the appeal.
-Got it, I see.
122
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:39,634
There are many
positive aspects of boys' love.
123
00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:44,596
But the biggest is that there aren't any
hopeless, desperate women.
124
00:08:44,647 --> 00:08:48,393
Who you calling desperate?
My climbing days are behind me.
125
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:53,481
It's the perfect escape for women like us,
who are fed up with their work life.
126
00:08:53,532 --> 00:08:55,817
I see how there could be value--
127
00:08:55,868 --> 00:09:00,655
"It's too late for your cracked lips."
You know?
128
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:03,700
It's never too late
to take care of your lips.
129
00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:09,706
It grabs your heart, because it crosses lines
that would normally never be crossed.
130
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:11,592
-For example?
-For example
131
00:09:11,643 --> 00:09:17,670
If someone rubs vaseline on their index finger,
but won't rub it on their middle finger.
132
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:18,965
Just that!?
133
00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:22,093
In season 19 he's finally moisturized
the back of his hand.
134
00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:24,855
What!
How long could that really take!?
135
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:28,462
Well, in season 8
they had gotten to the ring finger.
136
00:09:28,513 --> 00:09:32,891
But when Vasè had amnesia
they had to start over again from the thumb.
137
00:09:32,942 --> 00:09:35,732
Some people thought it was moving too fast.
138
00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:40,663
It's got "will they, won't they rub vaseline",
but is it that interesting?
139
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:46,502
It is! You know, the songs
are really good in boys' love musicals.
140
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:50,247
I'll do a special performance just for you.
141
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:53,375
Just for me?
It's not like I wanted you too...
142
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,011
One, two, three!
143
00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:59,181
♪ Moisturizer is a word of love ♪
144
00:09:59,258 --> 00:10:02,961
♪ Vaseline onto your heart ♪
145
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:06,221
♪ Beyond your wrist
Beyond your elbow ♪
146
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:09,859
♪ Moisturizer deep into your armpit
Yahoo! ♪
147
00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:13,645
-Momo-chan, Momo-chan.
-Yes?
148
00:10:14,126 --> 00:10:16,973
-I don't hate it.
-Alright!