1 00:00:07,550 --> 00:00:09,125 -Ume-san. -Hm? 2 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:14,541 Know anything about this weird, phantom thief calling card thing on my desk this morning? 3 00:00:14,592 --> 00:00:17,155 So you got one too, Momo-chan. 4 00:00:17,206 --> 00:00:18,966 But what is it? 5 00:00:19,017 --> 00:00:21,562 Some kind of class for the office ladies. 6 00:00:21,613 --> 00:00:24,523 A class? Think it will be useful? 7 00:00:24,574 --> 00:00:27,546 If I had to say one way or the other... 8 00:00:27,596 --> 00:00:30,100 -It won't be useful. -Ume-san, you going? 9 00:00:30,150 --> 00:00:32,740 -Yeah. -Even though it won't be useful... 10 00:00:32,791 --> 00:00:36,994 -Does it help with something? -If I had to say one way or the other... 11 00:00:37,045 --> 00:00:41,248 -Nothing whatsoever. -What's with that? You're still going? 12 00:00:41,299 --> 00:00:43,918 -Yeah. -Even though it's not helpful... 13 00:00:43,969 --> 00:00:46,837 So what's the point of it all? 14 00:00:46,888 --> 00:00:48,932 Come and find out. 15 00:00:51,535 --> 00:00:53,548 VALENTINE MEETING 16 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:29,046 PRETEND THEY'RE WEARING MASKS 17 00:01:29,097 --> 00:01:31,841 Ume-san, I'm having second thoughts... 18 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,634 It will be okay. 19 00:01:33,685 --> 00:01:36,462 -I'm really nervous. -Don't worry. 20 00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:43,792 Wow, there's a lot of girls gathered here. 21 00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:48,241 Mic check, mic check. Uno, dos. 22 00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:52,236 -That woman is the coordinator. -Coordinator? 23 00:01:52,287 --> 00:01:55,281 Mic check, mic check. Uno, dos. 24 00:01:55,332 --> 00:01:57,959 Why "uno, dos" instead of "one, two"? 25 00:01:58,043 --> 00:02:02,088 Easy there, mic-chan. Don't get upset. 26 00:02:02,172 --> 00:02:04,540 Now she's talking to the mic. 27 00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:07,209 -This is our spot. -Why do we sit here? 28 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:10,379 -We're the secretaries. -Secretaries? What do we do? 29 00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:13,674 Just like, take notes on anything interesting. 30 00:02:13,725 --> 00:02:17,492 -Or don't, if you don't want to. -Anything goes, huh? 31 00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:21,411 -Good morning, everyone. -Good morning. 32 00:02:21,462 --> 00:02:25,195 Thank you all for gathering here today. 33 00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:28,862 Regarding the previous meeting's question 34 00:02:28,913 --> 00:02:32,770 of whether it's okay to order a second helping of noodles 35 00:02:32,821 --> 00:02:37,573 when eating ramen with a man, the result after much deliberation is... 36 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:39,904 It's okay. 37 00:02:39,955 --> 00:02:43,088 -Remain calm, remain calm. -What's going on here? 38 00:02:43,139 --> 00:02:48,244 In our survey of male employees about a woman ordering a second helping 39 00:02:48,295 --> 00:02:54,498 "I'm impressed by her strong appetite" won out over "I'm turned off by her overeating. 40 00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,676 So don't get worked up. 41 00:02:56,891 --> 00:03:02,881 When eating ramen beside a gentleman, a second serving of noodles is acceptable. 42 00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:05,843 A third serving is up to your discretion. 43 00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:07,594 -I get it. -You got it. 44 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:12,081 On a similar note, there are some who when drinking with a gentleman 45 00:03:12,132 --> 00:03:15,978 order a drink even though they didn't want to drink alcohol. 46 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:19,172 Regarding that... Order whatever you like. 47 00:03:19,495 --> 00:03:22,234 Remain calm, remain calm. 48 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:27,990 Get what you want, whether it be oolong tea, or a soda float, or organic fruit juice. 49 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:32,411 And keep your distance from any man who would complain about it. 50 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:35,789 -You know, she's right. -Remain calm, remain calm. 51 00:03:35,846 --> 00:03:39,135 Don't nod too enthusiastically! Remain calm! 52 00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:44,432 Our last topic is the ever controversial Valentine's Day. 53 00:03:44,868 --> 00:03:49,321 To keep it short, regarding the question of whether you have to give 54 00:03:49,372 --> 00:03:52,848 obligatory gifts of chocolate this Valentine's Day... 55 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:56,194 You do have to. Remain calm, remain calm. 56 00:03:56,245 --> 00:03:57,686 Please remain calm! 57 00:03:57,962 --> 00:04:02,495 The reason being, the number of times male employess provided refreshments 58 00:04:02,546 --> 00:04:07,233 rose drastically this year. Therefore, obligatory gifts of chocolate... 59 00:04:07,283 --> 00:04:10,866 must be given. Remain calm, remain calm! 60 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:15,588 We're not taking questions, we're not taking any questions! 61 00:04:15,639 --> 00:04:18,749 -Tough, but fair. -And I want to remind everyone 62 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,601 Being obligated to give chocolate is not a burden. 63 00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:24,296 The burden is not knowing if you're supposed to. 64 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:27,090 -That's true. -So no more questions. 65 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:29,593 -She's wonderful. -Isn't she? 66 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,803 You should already know this 67 00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:36,032 But saying, "In America, the boys give valentines to the girls." 68 00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:40,644 Or, "Valentine's day is a scheme by the chocolate industrial complex." 69 00:04:40,695 --> 00:04:42,898 is strictly forbidden. 70 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,325 That's for the best. 71 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:47,958 Think about people's feelings being told that. 72 00:04:48,114 --> 00:04:52,025 Even one such as I would not be able to remain calm. 73 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:57,380 We're near the end of our time, so I will take a single question. 74 00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:58,464 Me! Me! 75 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,718 Hmm, how about Glasses-chan there? 76 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:07,823 If I think a co-worker is my one true love, what should I do on Valentine's Day? 77 00:05:10,323 --> 00:05:12,262 Hm? 78 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,732 To answer your question... 79 00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,642 Who is he? That's what I want to know! 80 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,560 Who is it? 81 00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:23,522 We can't end the meeting until I know. 82 00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:26,817 Is he from sales? Accounting? General affairs!? 83 00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:30,246 A tall guy from sales... 84 00:05:30,329 --> 00:05:32,991 -So? -I'm glad I came. 85 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:09,443 -Ume-san, I'm so happy. -About what? 86 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:12,570 -That season has come again. -What season? 87 00:06:12,621 --> 00:06:16,542 -You know how I like boys' love stories? -I didn't know that. 88 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:17,741 {\an8}PRETEND THEY'RE WEARING MASKS 89 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:19,911 But you know the one that I like most of all? 90 00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:22,721 I'm really not familiar with the genre... 91 00:06:22,772 --> 00:06:26,803 A hint then. It starts with "Va". 92 00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:32,841 "Va"? I don't know any of them, so knowing how it starts doesn't really help. 93 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:36,928 Next hint... It ends with "Prince". 94 00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:40,974 -You listening? I haven't the slightest clue. -You have thirty seconds. 95 00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:44,102 That's a waste of thirty seconds. I have no idea. 96 00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:47,448 Keep trying, you have ten seconds left. 97 00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:52,036 Ten seconds... But there was no point in giving me any seconds. 98 00:06:54,404 --> 00:06:58,251 Three, two, one! Your answer, please! 99 00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:02,496 -Sorry, I don't know. -Need more time? 100 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,258 Please, I've had enough, just tell me the answer. 101 00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:09,387 I'll tell you then. My favorite boys' love is... 102 00:07:12,107 --> 00:07:16,018 -Vaseline Prince! -There's no way I was gonna get that! 103 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:20,374 -You know about Vaseline Prince? -Never heard of it, what's it about? 104 00:07:20,425 --> 00:07:24,976 -It's about brilliant chemist Vasè Lyndon -Vaseline Din? 105 00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:29,981 And shy college student, Dreiskin Hajime Dry skin Hajime? He has dry skin? 106 00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:35,445 It's a bittersweet, sometimes vexatious, hyper vaseterical, boys' love story! 107 00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:37,739 What's "vaseterical"? 108 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:42,494 -I also like the comic book it was based on. -It looks completely different. 109 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,539 But I'd recommend you see the musical version. 110 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:49,209 Boys' love on stage is transcendent. You'll be bawling. 111 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:54,599 I'm not familiar with it, but if you conveyed it's appeal, I might be interested. 112 00:07:55,308 --> 00:08:00,021 "You're a dry person one only meets when they're out of vaseline." 113 00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:02,848 -You know? -I don't know. It was too sudden. 114 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,851 I still don't really understand boys' love... 115 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:09,271 "It's your heart that's dry, not your skin." 116 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:14,025 -You know? -I don't get it! He doesn't have dry skin? 117 00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:18,071 "Don't be like that, I'll wipe vaseline on your nasolabial fold." 118 00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:20,555 -What is that!? -It's right here. 119 00:08:20,605 --> 00:08:25,078 -Don't put vaseline there! -Why do you reject me so!? 120 00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:31,427 I'm not rejecting you, I just need a bit more convincing, okay? That's all. 121 00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:36,265 -I'm just still not understanding the appeal. -Got it, I see. 122 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:39,634 There are many positive aspects of boys' love. 123 00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:44,596 But the biggest is that there aren't any hopeless, desperate women. 124 00:08:44,647 --> 00:08:48,393 Who you calling desperate? My climbing days are behind me. 125 00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:53,481 It's the perfect escape for women like us, who are fed up with their work life. 126 00:08:53,532 --> 00:08:55,817 I see how there could be value-- 127 00:08:55,868 --> 00:09:00,655 "It's too late for your cracked lips." You know? 128 00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:03,700 It's never too late to take care of your lips. 129 00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:09,706 It grabs your heart, because it crosses lines that would normally never be crossed. 130 00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:11,592 -For example? -For example 131 00:09:11,643 --> 00:09:17,670 If someone rubs vaseline on their index finger, but won't rub it on their middle finger. 132 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:18,965 Just that!? 133 00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:22,093 In season 19 he's finally moisturized the back of his hand. 134 00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:24,855 What! How long could that really take!? 135 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:28,462 Well, in season 8 they had gotten to the ring finger. 136 00:09:28,513 --> 00:09:32,891 But when Vasè had amnesia they had to start over again from the thumb. 137 00:09:32,942 --> 00:09:35,732 Some people thought it was moving too fast. 138 00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:40,663 It's got "will they, won't they rub vaseline", but is it that interesting? 139 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:46,502 It is! You know, the songs are really good in boys' love musicals. 140 00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:50,247 I'll do a special performance just for you. 141 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:53,375 Just for me? It's not like I wanted you too... 142 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,011 One, two, three! 143 00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:59,181 ♪ Moisturizer is a word of love ♪ 144 00:09:59,258 --> 00:10:02,961 ♪ Vaseline onto your heart ♪ 145 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:06,221 ♪ Beyond your wrist Beyond your elbow ♪ 146 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:09,859 ♪ Moisturizer deep into your armpit Yahoo! ♪ 147 00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:13,645 -Momo-chan, Momo-chan. -Yes? 148 00:10:14,126 --> 00:10:16,973 -I don't hate it. -Alright!