1 00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:21,354 Previously on Harley Quinn... 2 00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:28,194 Fu... 3 00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:29,279 And now... 4 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,950 ...uck! 5 00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:37,036 Damn it, Harley! What the hell? 6 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,663 I, I'm so sorry. 7 00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:40,206 I mean, the whole thing with the zombies and the barfin' 8 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:41,166 and the mass murder-- 9 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:43,209 I was building Edin. 10 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,462 It's something I thought you wanted, too. 11 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:48,965 It felt incredible and you made me stop. 12 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,091 Why? 13 00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:54,763 Well, you should figure that the fuck out. 14 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,347 Deuces. 15 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,808 Wait. Ive! Please don't be mad. Where are you going? 16 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,144 Somewhere I can relax and think. 17 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:04,189 Oh, if that means you're going to Mor-4-Lex, we're out of toilet paper. 18 00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:05,648 Fine. And make sure you get three-- 19 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,067 Three ply. I know. You've got a bougie butt. 20 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:19,162 No, oh, no, no, no. Please don't. Do not thank me. 21 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:21,915 Thank you, Harley Quinn! 22 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,249 Harley, thank you! You saved us from Ivy! 23 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:24,918 No, please. Oh, God, no. Don't-- 24 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,002 Thank you, Harley. You saved us. - 25 00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:27,670 No, no... please. No. 26 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,339 Uh, can we get some applause? 27 00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:32,884 Because there is a hero in the house. 28 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,094 Please shut up. Why? It's true. 29 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:40,141 You basically sacrificed yourself to stop Ivy and save humanity. 30 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:42,602 Why did I do that? I don't want to stop Ivy. 31 00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,020 I want to support her. 32 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:45,313 But I also don't want everyone in Gotham to die. 33 00:01:45,313 --> 00:01:48,399 Ooh. Sounds like you need to talk. 34 00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:51,194 Want to crush some canned cider and unpack all this? 35 00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:52,695 There's nothing to unpack. 36 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:55,532 Hey, so, I'm gonna need a Batman to sign for this. 37 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:57,534 Oh, a man? 38 00:01:57,534 --> 00:02:00,161 So a Batgirl couldn't be competent enough-- 39 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,705 His name is on the registration. 40 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:03,748 Yerp. Yeesh. 41 00:02:10,129 --> 00:02:11,339 I gotta say, 42 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:13,550 I like this new swagger on you. 43 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,969 You've got a certain je ne sais quoi. 44 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,470 Now, I'll put money on it. 45 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,305 In the next 24 hours, 46 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:23,059 no less than three people are going to randomly compliment you. 47 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,894 You're looking that good. 48 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,689 Well, I'm not feeling that good. 49 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,900 I mean, things are weird with Harley, and my plan failed. 50 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,111 Again. You're looking at this all wrong. 51 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:36,865 Ruining Jazzapajizza is some hard core supervillain shit. 52 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,826 Fuck you, Ivy! 53 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,579 Whoa! You were tapped into The Green. 54 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:45,707 No one could stop you. You had to stop yourself. 55 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,584 Now, that's real power. 56 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:50,753 When a villain got to stop her own villainoire self! 57 00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:54,757 I mean, it was pretty pretty bad ass, I guess. 58 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,676 A Hard Wayne's Gonna Fall. 59 00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:58,970 Directed by James Gunn. In theaters-- 60 00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:01,931 Apologies for the abrupt pop in. 61 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,726 -Ivy, did you change your hair? That's one. 62 00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:06,477 I saw what you did at Jazzapajiz-- 63 00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:08,271 -Yeah, I'm not saying that. 64 00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:11,357 Suffice it to say, the scale of potential devastation 65 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:14,944 was enough to make even me soil my boxer briefs. 66 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,821 And you don't shit your pants for anything. 67 00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,114 That is correct. 68 00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:19,991 Well, was. 69 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:21,826 Yeah, thanks. 70 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,412 Now, if you'll excuse me, they're putting out scallion pancake samples. 71 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,331 Huh? 72 00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:27,957 I'll cut to the chase. 73 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:31,502 I'm looking to rebuild the Legion of Doom in Gotham. 74 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,088 Hey, Lex. How many times are we going to do this, bud? 75 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,007 'Cause I don't want to be in the Legion of Doom. 76 00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:38,551 I know. I want you to run it. 77 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:39,469 I'm sorry, what? 78 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,638 You're a threat. 79 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:44,807 And, frankly, I trust the threat I pay more than the threat I don't. 80 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,852 Well, I'm not interested in being some puppet figurehead 81 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,771 for your corporate tax shelter. 82 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,315 Plus, you'd never agree to my terms. 83 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:54,067 Try me. 84 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:57,695 Well, first off, I'd need to be paid an obscene amount of money. 85 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:58,738 Of course. 86 00:03:58,738 --> 00:03:59,989 Get that paper. 87 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,866 Hey, I really missed you. I know. 88 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,452 And I'd uh, I'd need to be in complete control. 89 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,496 So I run things. 90 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:11,459 I get to do whatever I want without needing approval from anyone, including you. 91 00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:14,295 The Legion of Doom will be yours. 92 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,255 Think about it, Ivy. 93 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,675 You got so close to permanently changing Gotham, 94 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:22,512 and all you had was a tiny lab and some test tubes. 95 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:26,683 Imagine what you could do with my vast resources at your disposal. 96 00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:29,060 You'd be unstoppable. 97 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,605 I don't want to have to babysit Bane. 98 00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:35,108 We'll move him to our Tempe office. 99 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,067 Well, shit. 100 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:42,240 So, are you done reburying my dead zombie parents, Alfred? 101 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,700 Indeed, Sir. Ooh. 102 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,953 Perhaps I went a little overboard. 103 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,372 I'd venture to say you did, Sir. 104 00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:51,874 My loneliness and despair got the best of me. 105 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,711 The edges of reality started to blur for a minute there. 106 00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:58,381 I think it's time I take off my obsidian-colored glasses. 107 00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:01,217 Stop letting the specter of my dead parents haunt me. 108 00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:13,354 Of course everywhere I turn, I'm reminded of this movie. 109 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,732 Well, I hesitate to bring this up, sir, 110 00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:19,485 but the producer sent tickets to the premiere tomorrow. 111 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,821 I'll return them at once. Hold up, hold up. 112 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:24,991 If I want to stop being tortured by this movie, 113 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:27,535 I should confront my demons head on at the premiere. 114 00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:29,245 No worries. 115 00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:31,664 I shall clean up at once to accompany you through this trying-- 116 00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,791 Oh, sorry. 117 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,877 I've already asked someone else, so. 118 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:42,050 Yeah, I'm probably gonna get dressed. 119 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,217 I... I'll do it myself. 120 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,936 Why am I ugly in everything? 121 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,772 I'm so-Forgive me. 122 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:59,108 It appears my nerves are tender on this premiere's eve. 123 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,276 Well, calm down. 124 00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:02,236 You're just having a diva moment. 125 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,948 But the cool thing is, this premiere is all about BBT's big day. 126 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,533 So the pressure's off of you. 127 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:10,119 No one, not a single soul will know it was you 128 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,914 acting like Billy Bob acting like Thomas Wayne. 129 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,582 No one will know? 130 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,628 Ooh, did you just get a facial? 131 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,046 Uh, that's two. 132 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,966 Hey, Harley. We need to, uh, we gotta talk. 133 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,968 I know, Ive. I am still so sorry. 134 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,470 Me first, me first. So. 135 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:31,307 Lex Luthor wants me to run the new Legion of Doom. 136 00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:34,435 Ha! I wish I could have been there when you told him to fuck off. 137 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,979 Uh, you couldn't, because I didn't. 138 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,272 Um, what? 139 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,399 It's a great opportunity for me, creatively. 140 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,985 Totally! Yeah, no. Who cares that he's an amoral piece of shit. 141 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,488 I mean, you are doing the dang thing, 142 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:48,199 looking all good in the neighborhood. 143 00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:50,868 It's all right. 144 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,703 I, I didn't expect you to be okay with me doing it. 145 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:55,998 What? Are you kidding me? I am so okay with you doing it. 146 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,793 So okay that we're doing it. 147 00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:01,420 I... I don't, I don't know, Harls. I... 148 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,506 Look, okay. I know I took a dump on your passion project, 149 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:06,300 but it won't happen again. Please, please let me prove it. 150 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:09,804 I... I just-I'm not sure we're on the same page. Listen. 151 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:13,516 I am down to do whatever you need me to do to make your dreams come true. 152 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:16,352 No questions asked. I am your ride or die. 153 00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:17,687 Are you sure? 154 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,188 Because in order to close with Lex, 155 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,566 I'm killing the Mayor at the premiere tomorrow. 156 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:22,567 Totally. Wait. 157 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,402 Like Joker, the Mayor? 158 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:27,822 Yeah, I mean, Lex has beef with his new evil lair tax. 159 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,615 Is that gonna be a problem or...? 160 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:33,536 Ha, let's kill the fucking joker. Oh! I love that for us. 161 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:34,662 Whoo! 162 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,415 Oh, okay. Shit. 163 00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:39,250 No, honey, you know what? 164 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,544 That's okay. There's, like, an entire palette of champagne in the car. 165 00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:44,463 Sadly, no. I simply cannot shake the feeling - 166 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,465 that after all the work I've put in, 167 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:50,386 in the end, all the spoils will go to one William Robert Thornton. 168 00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:52,555 But isn't that every actor's dream? 169 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:55,641 To disappear into a role so no one knows it's you? 170 00:07:55,725 --> 00:08:00,438 I will let you in on a secret not many outside of the acting world know. 171 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,398 All thespians are vain. 172 00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:03,357 What? 173 00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,401 To a wild night. 174 00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:14,035 Goddamn it! 175 00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:17,622 It's show time. 176 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:25,463 How's Angelina? 177 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,012 Huh? 178 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,973 Selina? You're looking, uh... 179 00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:38,059 stunning. I'm surprised you came. 180 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,143 Ditto. 181 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,394 How are you? 182 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:42,063 Oh, fantastic. 183 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:45,524 Zero zombie-related drama on my end, that's, that's for sure. 184 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,318 Happy to hear it. 185 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:50,947 I assumed this entire event would be triggering, to say the least. 186 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:53,282 Wait, are you here to support me? 187 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:56,535 Even though we're not dating and I find you sad, 188 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,038 it doesn't mean I don't want to see you happy. 189 00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:01,874 Ex... excuse me. 190 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,335 Probably an appetizer got in my eye. 191 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,637 Great tie, Clock King. 192 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:18,849 Nora and Swamp Thing are an item. I love that. 193 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:22,311 Cheryl, I see you double fisting. 194 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,397 Like Joker do. 195 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:26,774 Oh, yes. 196 00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:29,443 Apparently, I'm sitting at ZZZ69. 197 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:33,739 Which, if I'm keeping it 100, doesn't sound like a mayoral place to sit. 198 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:35,741 Mmm. 199 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,958 This can't be right. 200 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:49,005 Cancel my drinks with the mayor, Alfred. 201 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:53,509 Tell him I'm taking my wife and my adorable son to the movies. 202 00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:54,885 Oh, right. 203 00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,680 Tell Martha to wear those pearls I bought her. 204 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:03,894 To symbolize how our love can survive anything, even bullets. 205 00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,855 Ugh! Two and a half hours of this? 206 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,732 A little indulgent, if you ask me. 207 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,985 What the hell is going on? 208 00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:12,778 Oh, I'll tell you what's going on. 209 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:15,906 You're a super villain and you're going to explain your plan? 210 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,243 Hey, hey! Don't interrupt bae when she's oratin'. 211 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:22,246 What I would give to see you wearing a headset mic. 212 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:25,958 When the credits roll, Harley and I are going to kill you 213 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:31,380 and announce that we're running a new Legion of Doom right here in Gotham. 214 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:35,676 Wait, is Lex putting you up to this because of the evil lair tax? 215 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,054 It's half a percent for Christ's sakes! 216 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:41,265 And it all goes towards making Gotham College free. 217 00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:42,558 Good idea. 218 00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:44,185 You know, the barrier to higher education 219 00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:46,562 is one of the biggest causes of income inequality. 220 00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:50,107 Hey, Harley, can we just, like, focus? 221 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,902 Oh, shit. Ugh. Must've left my bat in the limo. 222 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,528 Okay, I'm gonna pop out, I'm gonna grab it, 223 00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,447 I will be back in a jiff to commence skull-crushing, 224 00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,699 and, you know, things of that nature. 225 00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:10,711 You know, I've never known Harley to be a sloppy ropeswoman. 226 00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:13,089 She's tied up hundreds of people for me. 227 00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:16,967 Normally goes for a sheet bend or a taut-line hitch, 228 00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,595 but she used a bowline this time, 229 00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:23,265 which, of course, is the easiest knot to untie. 230 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,434 I'm very active with Benecio's scout troop. 231 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,813 So you become mayor and suddenly you're, like, a totally different person? 232 00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:31,232 I'm both a maniacal force of nature, 233 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:33,984 and I want free universal health care. 234 00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:36,362 People can be more than just one thing. 235 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,906 They grow and evolve. 236 00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:40,616 Take Harley, for instance. 237 00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:45,162 Is it just me, or does she seem a little different? 238 00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,123 Seriously, dude? 239 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,750 I'm not gonna do that thing where we commiserate over the person we both dated. 240 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,002 Of course, of course. 241 00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:53,963 Tell me this. 242 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:56,006 Does she still put one giant cardboard box 243 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:59,135 in the recycling bin so that nothing else can fit? 244 00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,178 Oh, my God, yes, she does do that. 245 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:04,014 But it's, it's just, it's like, what's so hard about breaking down a box? 246 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,349 You know what I mean? 247 00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,268 Just hit it with your fucking bat. 248 00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:12,523 Hmm. 249 00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,487 Okay. What is wrong with you? 250 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,156 I mean, I know there is a lot going on in that little brain, 251 00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:21,866 but what is wrong right now? 252 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,242 I shouldn't have come tonight. 253 00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,035 Okay, bro, calm down. 254 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,121 All right? Let's try one of those exercises like last time. 255 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:28,789 All right, close your eyes. 256 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,040 Deep breath in. 257 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,750 Be in your body. 258 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,711 I know what you've been through and I know that you are strong. 259 00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,713 I was in your head, remember? 260 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,006 You know my secret. 261 00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:38,257 Did you tell anyone? 262 00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:39,925 Okay. I'm only gonna say this once, 263 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,218 so pay attention. 264 00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:42,636 Gotham needs Batman and I get that now. 265 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,555 So your little secret is safe with me. 266 00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:47,224 That, and like, doctor-patient confidentiality, that whole thing 267 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,436 Thank you. 268 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,313 How did Ivy take it when she found out you're not a villain anymore? 269 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:53,689 Who said I'm not? 270 00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:55,608 Come on. Seriously? 271 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:59,904 We're still doing this after you stopped her plan and saved the city? 272 00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:02,448 I used to think you were just an agent of chaos. 273 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:03,657 But now I see. 274 00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:04,617 You-- Uh, no! 275 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,368 That is exactly who I am! 276 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,917 God bless you, Harley Quinn. Eat shit, loser! 277 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,211 Oh. 278 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:17,254 Oh, my God, has she always been OCD about toilet paper? 279 00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:20,174 It's like nothing scares her more than the idea of running out. 280 00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:22,551 Am I right? Oh, good times. 281 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,137 You know what I really loved about her though? 282 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:29,141 The way she went along with whatever plan I asked her to do, 283 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,893 even when I knew she hated the idea. 284 00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,771 Well, you know, add that to the shit pile of reasons 285 00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:36,106 you were a toxic partner and a total narcissist. 286 00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:38,567 Oh, just me? 287 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,194 What are you even talking about? 288 00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:43,489 What Harley and I have is 100% different. 289 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,074 We are equals. 290 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,951 I'd never ask her to compromise herself like you did. 291 00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:49,036 Well, maybe not on purpose. 292 00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,746 I'm sorry. What are you implying right now? 293 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:52,957 Yesterday she's stopping your big plan, 294 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:57,211 but today she's ready to go hard-boiled, running the Legion of Doom? 295 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,338 I mean, I'm no therapist, 296 00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:02,424 but clearly Harley's having second thoughts about whatever you're doing here. 297 00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:05,511 And that was a lapse in judgment, and it won't be repeated. 298 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,471 Harley's into what we're doing here. 299 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,849 I didn't want to bring out the big guns, but... 300 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:14,186 When did you ever see Harley forget her bat? 301 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:15,854 Oh, fuck. 302 00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:17,648 Let's kill the bozo! 303 00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:19,858 People don't need to see another version of the Wayne Murders. 304 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,944 This shit's like the Titanic, baby. 305 00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:23,654 We know how it ends. Hey. 306 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,614 You really want to do this, Harley? 307 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:26,615 Of course! 308 00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,242 I do. 309 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,961 Has Martha uttered a word yet? 310 00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:41,964 That CGI moustache cost $12 million. 311 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,517 My big monologue! Hold my hand. 312 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,936 Remember the horse and the sparrow, son. 313 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,063 "If you feed the horse enough oats, 314 00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:01,775 some will pass through to the road for the sparrows to eat and prosper." 315 00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:06,071 You are proof that anything is possible if you're born into... 316 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,285 generational wealth. 317 00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,244 Let my death... 318 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:15,414 define your entire life. 319 00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:26,508 I fought for that line. 320 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:29,178 Get out of the way so I can bash the mayor's head in. 321 00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:32,348 Hey, I have no problem with you killing Joker right now, 322 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:35,934 but not if you're only doing it because it's what I want. 323 00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,269 Can we hurry this up? 324 00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:38,854 Would you listen to this dick? 325 00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:40,648 Why wouldn't I want to kill him? 326 00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,983 You did stop my plan to terraform Gotham. 327 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:44,985 Because of the zombies and the barf. 328 00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:46,570 You're friends with Batgirl. 329 00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:48,489 Uh, friendly, not friends. No. 330 00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:50,741 And... I hate saying this, 331 00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:52,284 but, you know, you've been reluctant 332 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,787 to kill people in a way that is, 333 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,080 frankly, it's concerning to me. 334 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,207 Oh, I'll show you reluctant. 335 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,546 Harley. Face it. 336 00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:06,048 You've... 337 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,218 You've evolved. 338 00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,928 You want to help people. 339 00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:12,638 You're not a villain anymore. 340 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:13,889 That is not true! 341 00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,641 Why won't you just admit it? 342 00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,768 Because I don't want to lose you. 343 00:16:19,978 --> 00:16:22,856 Do you really think that you would lose me? 344 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,233 If we don't want the same thing, 345 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:25,901 what does that mean for us? 346 00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:29,738 Look, if running the Legion of Doom with me isn't for you, 347 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,281 that's-it's okay. 348 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,492 I don't want you to compromise yourself. 349 00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:36,245 I mean, we're equals in this relationship, 350 00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,996 and that's why it's so great. 351 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,749 We can fully have different passions. 352 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,919 I mean, if I didn't leave you during your craft beer phase, 353 00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:45,587 I'm not leaving you now. 354 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,631 Yeah, no. I could not pull off those cargo shorts. 355 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:50,300 Look, as long as you're honest with me, 356 00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:53,137 I will support whatever you want to do. 357 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:55,931 But... what if I don't know exactly what that is? 358 00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:57,266 Like... 359 00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,934 Look, I, I know I don't want to kill Joker, 360 00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:01,395 and I... I don't want to do a big, evil plan, but, 361 00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:03,981 do I want to help people? I-- Maybe. I don't know. 362 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,608 I just-I haven't really let myself think about it. 363 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,527 People are saying I'm not a villain anymore, 364 00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:10,612 which is fine, like, whatever. Labels are lame. 365 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:14,742 But I-I'm not ready to identify as the other thing. 366 00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:17,953 You know what? We're going to figure it out together. Right? 367 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,538 BFFGFFs? 368 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:20,539 That's us, right? 369 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:21,874 Right. 370 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,917 Beautiful stuff. 371 00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,461 What time is it? 372 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,129 Where the fuck do you need to be? 373 00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:30,174 Billy Bob! Billy Bob! 374 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:31,925 Billy Bob! Billy Bob! 375 00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,303 They should be chanting my name. 376 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:35,637 Play it cool, baby. 377 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,765 You've made it this far. Accept the applause. 378 00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:42,311 Give a faux-humble bow, and sit your ass down. 379 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,317 Oh, no. 380 00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:51,653 It is not Billy Bob whose performance has moved you all this evening. 381 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:54,156 It is I, Clayface, 382 00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:56,867 the true star behind Thomas Wayne. 383 00:17:56,867 --> 00:18:00,871 Billy Bob is a shape shifter? That's how he does it. 384 00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:03,165 No, I'm not Billy Bob! 385 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,834 He doesn't deserve your applause. 386 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:06,919 I do! 387 00:18:08,086 --> 00:18:09,797 Billy Bob is dead! 388 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:12,090 Dead because of me! Look, buddy. 389 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,801 They're just not listening. 390 00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:18,180 Congrats to Billy Bob Thornton on a spectacular performance. 391 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:22,351 This movie reminds us that billionaires like Bruce Wayne know no shame. 392 00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:25,729 The real drain on the city is the 1%. 393 00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:28,524 But today we come one step closer to ending 394 00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:32,361 the appalling wealth disparity in Gotham. 395 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:34,530 Send in the clowns! 396 00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:44,706 Oh. Uh. 397 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,542 This is a sting operation. 398 00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:49,878 Public humiliation has a long history in the annals of justice. 399 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,214 So we lured you into our trap. 400 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,633 And now we're busting you for tax evasion. 401 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:58,220 Ladies and gentlemen, and non-binary friends, 402 00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:02,182 this is for you. 403 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:03,892 And for me. 404 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:07,104 "Bruce Wayne, you are under arrest for intentional omission. 405 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:12,067 Manipulation, and alteration of accounting records." 406 00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:16,572 He's also guilty of being a thief and a bitch. 407 00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:20,450 Wow! Huba-hub. What's with the glow up, Ivy? 408 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,077 And that's three. 409 00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:23,495 You're goddamn right it is. 410 00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:25,289 I need a fucking drink! 411 00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:28,250 Let's go get blackout on bulk champagne. 412 00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:31,461 Deep breaths. 413 00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:32,754 You will be okay. 414 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:35,757 I know... I think? 415 00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,593 Maybe this is a good thing. 416 00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:40,762 I have all this trauma I've been carrying around. 417 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,347 If I can finally go deal with it, 418 00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:44,933 I can get back to the life I want. 419 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,895 Helping people and protecting Gotham. 420 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,272 It's exciting. And scary. 421 00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:52,524 It is both of those things. 422 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:59,323 Hey, not to add to your trauma, but I think Selina stole your mom's pearls. 423 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,617 Oh, come on. 424 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:04,036 I'll be available for lame zoom sessions if you need me. 425 00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:10,083 Excuse me. Coming through. Pardon me. 426 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:11,835 Can you give us a minute, Carl? 427 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:15,422 Blackgate Penitentiary is 30 clicks off the port of Gotham. 428 00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:17,132 I'll have Nightwing gas up the BatBoat-- 429 00:20:17,132 --> 00:20:19,593 Don't bother. I intend to serve my time. 430 00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:22,054 The people of the city have to know there are consequences, 431 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:23,263 even for me. 432 00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:24,640 While I'm gone, 433 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,308 I need you to step up, 434 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:29,478 lead the Bat-Family, and protect Gotham. 435 00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,855 We can't do that without Batman. 436 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,523 Of course you can. 437 00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:35,484 You've already done it. 438 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,361 You stopped the Mad Hatter. 439 00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:39,655 You helped stop the zombies when I was... 440 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:41,406 indisposed. 441 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,576 Gotham is in good hands. 442 00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:54,002 Huh? 443 00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:56,505 Mmm. 444 00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:58,840 Oh, so there were some hiccups tonight. 445 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:02,803 But if it helps, you win my best actor award. 446 00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:03,762 A hug. 447 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:06,431 It doesn't. 448 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:12,437 So, okay, that's, so that's what you've decided. 449 00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,022 It is. 450 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,817 I was alone for so long, carrying around all this trauma. 451 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:21,613 But then I met you and I fell in love, which helped me get past it. 452 00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:25,117 I'm finally in a place where I can actually think about what I want. 453 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,326 It's exciting. 454 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,286 And scary. 455 00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:30,580 I'm proud of you. 456 00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:33,500 So, is Lex gonna be pissed you didn't kill Joker? 457 00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,210 Oh, he'll probably want me even more now... 458 00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:37,337 Mmm. God knows I do. 459 00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:49,808 Hey, assholes! 460 00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:52,352 Uh. 461 00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:54,688 Harley? What are you doing here? 462 00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:58,066 Yeah, with Batty in the clink, I thought you silly rodents might need a little help. Hmm. 463 00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,651 Don't worry, Nightwing. 464 00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:01,486 You still have the best looking ass out of all of us. 465 00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:03,155 Mmm, let's give her a chance. 466 00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:04,990 You ready? 467 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,950 Uh, like in general, or is there something specific we need to do? 468 00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:09,619 Welcome to the fam, Harley! 469 00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:12,748 Whoa! 470 00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:19,254 Thanks for waiting, you fucking dildos! 471 00:22:20,547 --> 00:22:21,590 I'll take the stairs.