1 00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:21,354 Previously on Harley Quinn... 2 00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:28,194 Fu... 3 00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:29,279 And now... 4 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,950 uck! 5 00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:37,036 Damn it, Harley! What the hell? 6 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,663 I, I'm so sorry. 7 00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:40,266 I mean, the whole thing with the zombies and the barfin' 8 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:41,166 and the mass murder... 9 00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:43,209 I was building Edin. 10 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,462 It's something I thought you wanted, too. 11 00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:48,965 It felt incredible and you made me stop. 12 00:00:49,048 --> 00:00:50,091 Why? 13 00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:54,822 Well, you should figure that the fuck out. 14 00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:56,347 Deuces. 15 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,808 Wait. Ive! Please don't be mad. Where are you going? 16 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,144 Somewhere I can relax and think. 17 00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:04,189 Oh, if that means you're going to Mor-4-Lex, we're out of toilet paper. 18 00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:05,708 - Fine. - And make sure you get three... 19 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,067 Three ply. I know. You've got a bougie butt. 20 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:19,162 No, oh, no, no, no. Please don't. Do not thank me. 21 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:21,915 Thank you, Harley Quinn! 22 00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:23,309 - Harley, thank you! - You saved us from Ivy! 23 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:24,918 No, please. Oh, God, no. Don't... 24 00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:26,061 - Thank you, Harley. - You saved us. 25 00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:27,670 No, no... please. No. 26 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,339 Uh, can we get some applause? 27 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:32,884 Because there is a hero in the house. 28 00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:35,094 - Please shut up. - Why? It's true. 29 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:40,141 You basically sacrificed yourself to stop Ivy and save humanity. 30 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:42,602 Why did I do that? I don't want to stop Ivy. 31 00:01:42,685 --> 00:01:44,020 I want to support her. 32 00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:45,372 But I also don't want everyone in Gotham to die. 33 00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:48,399 Ooh. Sounds like you need to talk. 34 00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:51,194 Want to crush some canned cider and unpack all this? 35 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:52,695 There's nothing to unpack. 36 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:55,532 Hey, so, I'm gonna need a Batman to sign for this. 37 00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:57,534 Oh, a man? 38 00:01:57,617 --> 00:02:00,161 So a Batgirl couldn't be competent enough... 39 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,705 His name is on the registration. 40 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:03,789 - Yerp. - Yeesh. 41 00:02:10,129 --> 00:02:11,339 I gotta say, 42 00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:13,550 I like this new swagger on you. 43 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,969 You've got a certain je ne sais quoi. 44 00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:17,470 Now, I'll put money on it. 45 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,305 In the next 24 hours, 46 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:23,059 no less than three people are going to randomly compliment you. 47 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,894 You're looking that good. 48 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,689 Well, I'm not feeling that good. 49 00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:30,900 I mean, things are weird with Harley, and my plan failed. 50 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,111 - Again. - You're looking at this all wrong. 51 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:36,865 Ruining Jazzapajizza is some hard core supervillain shit. 52 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,826 Fuck you, Ivy! 53 00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:42,579 Whoa! You were tapped into The Green. 54 00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:45,707 No one could stop you. You had to stop yourself. 55 00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,584 Now, that's real power. 56 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:50,753 When a villain got to stop her own villainoire self! 57 00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:54,757 I mean, it was pretty pretty bad ass, I guess. 58 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,676 A Hard Wayne's Gonna Fall. 59 00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:58,970 - Directed by James Gunn. - In theaters... 60 00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:01,931 - Apologies for the abrupt pop in. 61 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,726 - Ivy, did you change your hair? - That's one. 62 00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:06,477 I saw what you did at Jazzapajiz... 63 00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:08,271 Yeah, I'm not saying that. 64 00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:11,357 Suffice it to say, the scale of potential devastation 65 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:14,944 was enough to make even me soil my boxer briefs. 66 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,821 And you don't shit your pants for anything. 67 00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,114 That is correct. 68 00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:19,991 Well, was. 69 00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:21,826 Yeah, thanks. 70 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,671 Now, if you'll excuse me, they're putting out scallion pancake samples. 71 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,331 Huh? 72 00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:27,957 I'll cut to the chase. 73 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:31,502 I'm looking to rebuild the Legion of Doom in Gotham. 74 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,088 Hey, Lex. How many times are we going to do this, bud? 75 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,052 'Cause I don't want to be in the Legion of Doom. 76 00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:38,551 I know. I want you to run it. 77 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:39,469 I'm sorry, what? 78 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,638 You're a threat. 79 00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:44,807 And, frankly, I trust the threat I pay more than the threat I don't. 80 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,852 Well, I'm not interested in being some puppet figurehead 81 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,771 for your corporate tax shelter. 82 00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:52,315 Plus, you'd never agree to my terms. 83 00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,067 Try me. 84 00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:57,695 Well, first off, I'd need to be paid an obscene amount of money. 85 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:58,779 Of course. 86 00:03:58,821 --> 00:03:59,989 Get that paper. 87 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,866 - Hey, I really missed you. - I know. 88 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,452 And I'd uh, I'd need to be in complete control. 89 00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:06,496 So I run things. 90 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:11,459 I get to do whatever I want without needing approval from anyone, including you. 91 00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:14,295 The Legion of Doom will be yours. 92 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,255 Think about it, Ivy. 93 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,675 You got so close to permanently changing Gotham, 94 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:22,512 and all you had was a tiny lab and some test tubes. 95 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:26,683 Imagine what you could do with my vast resources at your disposal. 96 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,060 You'd be unstoppable. 97 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,605 I don't want to have to babysit Bane. 98 00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:35,108 We'll move him to our Tempe office. 99 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:36,191 Well, shit. 100 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:42,240 So, are you done reburying my dead zombie parents, Alfred? 101 00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:43,700 Indeed, Sir. Ooh. 102 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,953 Perhaps I went a little overboard. 103 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:49,372 I'd venture to say you did, Sir. 104 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,874 My loneliness and despair got the best of me. 105 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,711 The edges of reality started to blur for a minute there. 106 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:58,381 I think it's time I take off my obsidian-colored glasses. 107 00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:01,217 Stop letting the specter of my dead parents haunt me. 108 00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:13,354 Of course everywhere I turn, I'm reminded of this movie. 109 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,732 Well, I hesitate to bring this up, sir, 110 00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:19,485 but the producer sent tickets to the premiere tomorrow. 111 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,821 - I'll return them at once. - Hold up, hold up. 112 00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:24,991 If I want to stop being tortured by this movie, 113 00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:27,535 I should confront my demons head on at the premiere. 114 00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:29,245 No worries. 115 00:05:29,328 --> 00:05:31,724 I shall clean up at once to accompany you through this trying... 116 00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,791 Oh, sorry. 117 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,877 I've already asked someone else, so. 118 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,421 Anyway. 119 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:42,050 Yeah, I'm probably gonna get dressed. 120 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,217 I... I'll do it myself. 121 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,936 Why am I ugly in everything? 122 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,772 I'm so... Forgive me. 123 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:59,108 It appears my nerves are tender on this premiere's eve. 124 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,276 Well, calm down. 125 00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:02,236 You're just having a diva moment. 126 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,948 But the cool thing is, this premiere is all about BBT's big day. 127 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,533 So the pressure's off of you. 128 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:10,119 No one, not a single soul will know it was you 129 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,914 acting like Billy Bob acting like Thomas Wayne. 130 00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,582 No one will know? 131 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,628 Ooh, did you just get a facial? 132 00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,046 Uh, that's two. 133 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,966 Hey, Harley. We need to, uh, we gotta talk. 134 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,968 I know, Ive. I am still so sorry. 135 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,470 Me first, me first. So. 136 00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:31,307 Lex Luthor wants me to run the new Legion of Doom. 137 00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:34,435 Ha! I wish I could have been there when you told him to fuck off. 138 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,979 Uh, you couldn't, because I didn't. 139 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,272 Um, what? 140 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,399 It's a great opportunity for me, creatively. 141 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,985 Totally! Yeah, no. Who cares that he's an amoral piece of shit. 142 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,488 I mean, you are doing the dang thing, 143 00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:48,199 looking all good in the neighborhood. 144 00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:50,868 It's all right. 145 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,763 I, I didn't expect you to be okay with me doing it. 146 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:55,998 What? Are you kidding me? I am so okay with you doing it. 147 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,793 So okay that we're doing it. 148 00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:01,420 I... I don't, I don't know, Harls. I... 149 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,565 Look, okay. I know I took a dump on your passion project, 150 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:06,300 but it won't happen again. Please, please let me prove it. 151 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:09,804 - I... I just... I'm not sure we're on the same page. - Listen. 152 00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:13,516 I am down to do whatever you need me to do to make your dreams come true. 153 00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:16,352 No questions asked. I am your ride or die. 154 00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:17,687 Are you sure? 155 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,188 Because in order to close with Lex, 156 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,566 I'm killing the Mayor at the premiere tomorrow. 157 00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:22,567 Totally. Wait. 158 00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,402 Like Joker, the Mayor? 159 00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:27,822 Yeah, I mean, Lex has beef with his new evil lair tax. 160 00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:29,615 Is that gonna be a problem or...? 161 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:33,536 Ha, let's kill the fucking joker. Oh! I love that for us. 162 00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:34,662 Whoo! 163 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,415 - Oh, okay. - Shit. 164 00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:39,250 No, honey, you know what? 165 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,603 That's okay. There's, like, an entire palette of champagne in the car. 166 00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:44,463 - Sadly, no. I simply cannot shake the feeling 167 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,465 that after all the work I've put in, 168 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:50,386 in the end, all the spoils will go to one William Robert Thornton. 169 00:07:50,469 --> 00:07:52,555 But isn't that every actor's dream? 170 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,641 To disappear into a role so no one knows it's you? 171 00:07:55,725 --> 00:08:00,438 I will let you in on a secret not many outside of the acting world know. 172 00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:02,398 All thespians are vain. 173 00:08:02,481 --> 00:08:03,481 What? 174 00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,401 To a wild night. 175 00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:14,075 Goddamn it! 176 00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:17,622 It's show time. 177 00:08:24,503 --> 00:08:25,503 How's Angelina? 178 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,178 Huh? 179 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,973 Selina? You're looking, uh... 180 00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:38,059 stunning. I'm surprised you came. 181 00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:39,143 Ditto. 182 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,394 How are you? 183 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:42,063 Oh, fantastic. 184 00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:45,524 Zero zombie-related drama on my end, that's, that's for sure. 185 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,318 Happy to hear it. 186 00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:50,947 I assumed this entire event would be triggering, to say the least. 187 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,282 Wait, are you here to support me? 188 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:56,535 Even though we're not dating and I find you sad, 189 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,038 it doesn't mean I don't want to see you happy. 190 00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:01,874 Ex... excuse me. 191 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,335 Probably an appetizer got in my eye. 192 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,637 Great tie, Clock King. 193 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:18,849 Nora and Swamp Thing are an item. I love that. 194 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:22,311 Cheryl, I see you double fisting. 195 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,397 Like Joker do. 196 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,774 Oh, yes. 197 00:09:26,857 --> 00:09:29,443 Apparently, I'm sitting at ZZZ69. 198 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:33,739 Which, if I'm keeping it 100, doesn't sound like a mayoral place to sit. 199 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:35,824 Mmm. 200 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,958 This can't be right. 201 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:49,005 Cancel my drinks with the mayor, Alfred. 202 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:53,509 Tell him I'm taking my wife and my adorable son to the movies. 203 00:09:53,592 --> 00:09:54,885 Oh, right. 204 00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,680 Tell Martha to wear those pearls I bought her. 205 00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:03,894 To symbolize how our love can survive anything, even bullets. 206 00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,855 Ugh! Two and a half hours of this? 207 00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,732 - A little indulgent, if you ask me. 208 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,985 What the hell is going on? 209 00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:12,778 Oh, I'll tell you what's going on. 210 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:15,906 You're a super villain and you're going to explain your plan? 211 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,243 Hey, hey! Don't interrupt bae when she's oratin'. 212 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:22,246 What I would give to see you wearing a headset mic. 213 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:25,958 When the credits roll, Harley and I are going to kill you 214 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:31,380 and announce that we're running a new Legion of Doom right here in Gotham. 215 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:35,676 Wait, is Lex putting you up to this because of the evil lair tax? 216 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,054 It's half a percent for Christ's sakes! 217 00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:41,265 And it all goes towards making Gotham College free. 218 00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:42,558 Good idea. 219 00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:44,241 You know, the barrier to higher education 220 00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:46,562 is one of the biggest causes of income inequality. 221 00:10:46,645 --> 00:10:50,107 Hey, Harley, can we just, like, focus? 222 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,902 Oh, shit. Ugh. Must've left my bat in the limo. 223 00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,588 Okay, I'm gonna pop out, I'm gonna grab it, 224 00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,506 I will be back in a jiff to commence skull-crushing, 225 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,699 and, you know, things of that nature. 226 00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:10,711 You know, I've never known Harley to be a sloppy ropeswoman. 227 00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:13,089 She's tied up hundreds of people for me. 228 00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:16,967 Normally goes for a sheet bend or a taut-line hitch, 229 00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,595 but she used a bowline this time, 230 00:11:19,678 --> 00:11:23,265 which, of course, is the easiest knot to untie. 231 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,434 I'm very active with Benecio's scout troop. 232 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,813 So you become mayor and suddenly you're, like, a totally different person? 233 00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:31,232 I'm both a maniacal force of nature, 234 00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:33,984 and I want free universal health care. 235 00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:36,362 People can be more than just one thing. 236 00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:38,906 They grow and evolve. 237 00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:40,616 Take Harley, for instance. 238 00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:45,162 Is it just me, or does she seem a little different? 239 00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,123 Seriously, dude? 240 00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,810 I'm not gonna do that thing where we commiserate over the person we both dated. 241 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,002 Of course, of course. 242 00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:53,963 Tell me this. 243 00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:56,006 Does she still put one giant cardboard box 244 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:59,135 in the recycling bin so that nothing else can fit? 245 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:01,178 Oh, my God, yes, she does do that. 246 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:04,074 But it's, it's just, it's like, what's so hard about breaking down a box? 247 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,349 You know what I mean? 248 00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,268 Just hit it with your fucking bat. 249 00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:12,689 Hmm. 250 00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,487 Okay. What is wrong with you? 251 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,215 I mean, I know there is a lot going on in that little brain, 252 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:21,866 but what is wrong right now? 253 00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:23,242 I shouldn't have come tonight. 254 00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:25,035 Okay, bro, calm down. 255 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,180 All right? Let's try one of those exercises like last time. 256 00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:28,789 All right, close your eyes. 257 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,040 Deep breath in. 258 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,750 Be in your body. 259 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,770 I know what you've been through and I know that you are strong. 260 00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:35,713 I was in your head, remember? 261 00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:37,006 You know my secret. 262 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:38,257 Did you tell anyone? 263 00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,925 Okay. I'm only gonna say this once, 264 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,218 so pay attention. 265 00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:42,696 Gotham needs Batman and I get that now. 266 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,555 So your little secret is safe with me. 267 00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:47,224 That, and like, doctor-patient confidentiality, that whole thing 268 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,436 Thank you. 269 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,372 How did Ivy take it when she found out you're not a villain anymore? 270 00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:53,689 Who said I'm not? 271 00:12:53,772 --> 00:12:55,608 Come on. Seriously? 272 00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:59,904 We're still doing this after you stopped her plan and saved the city? 273 00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:02,448 I used to think you were just an agent of chaos. 274 00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:03,657 But now I see. 275 00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:04,617 - You... - Uh, no! 276 00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:06,368 That is exactly who I am! 277 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,917 - God bless you, Harley Quinn. - Eat shit, loser! 278 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,211 Oh. 279 00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:17,314 Oh, my God, has she always been OCD about toilet paper? 280 00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:20,174 It's like nothing scares her more than the idea of running out. 281 00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:22,551 - Am I right? - Oh, good times. 282 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,137 You know what I really loved about her though? 283 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:29,141 The way she went along with whatever plan I asked her to do, 284 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,893 even when I knew she hated the idea. 285 00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:33,771 Well, you know, add that to the shit pile of reasons 286 00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:36,106 you were a toxic partner and a total narcissist. 287 00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:38,567 Oh, just me? 288 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,194 What are you even talking about? 289 00:13:40,277 --> 00:13:43,489 What Harley and I have is 100% different. 290 00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:45,074 We are equals. 291 00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:47,010 I'd never ask her to compromise herself like you did. 292 00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:49,036 Well, maybe not on purpose. 293 00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:50,799 I'm sorry. What are you implying right now? 294 00:13:50,829 --> 00:13:52,957 Yesterday she's stopping your big plan, 295 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:57,211 but today she's ready to go hard-boiled, running the Legion of Doom? 296 00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:59,338 I mean, I'm no therapist, 297 00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:02,424 but clearly Harley's having second thoughts about whatever you're doing here. 298 00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:05,511 And that was a lapse in judgment, and it won't be repeated. 299 00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:07,471 Harley's into what we're doing here. 300 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,849 I didn't want to bring out the big guns, but... 301 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:14,186 When did you ever see Harley forget her bat? 302 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:15,854 Oh, fuck. 303 00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:17,648 Let's kill the bozo! 304 00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:19,918 People don't need to see another version of the Wayne Murders. 305 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,944 This shit's like the Titanic, baby. 306 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:23,654 - We know how it ends. - Hey. 307 00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:25,614 You really want to do this, Harley? 308 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:26,698 Of course! 309 00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,283 I do. 310 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,961 Has Martha uttered a word yet? 311 00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:41,964 That CGI moustache cost $12 million. 312 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,517 My big monologue! Hold my hand. 313 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,936 Remember the horse and the sparrow, son. 314 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,063 "If you feed the horse enough oats, 315 00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:01,775 some will pass through to the road for the sparrows to eat and prosper." 316 00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:06,071 You are proof that anything is possible if you're born into... 317 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,285 generational wealth. 318 00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:12,368 Let my death... 319 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:15,414 define your entire life. 320 00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:26,508 I fought for that line. 321 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:29,178 Get out of the way so I can bash the mayor's head in. 322 00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:32,348 Hey, I have no problem with you killing Joker right now, 323 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:35,934 but not if you're only doing it because it's what I want. 324 00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,269 Can we hurry this up? 325 00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:38,854 Would you listen to this dick? 326 00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:40,648 Why wouldn't I want to kill him? 327 00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:42,983 You did stop my plan to terraform Gotham. 328 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:44,985 Because of the zombies and the barf. 329 00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:46,570 You're friends with Batgirl. 330 00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:48,489 Uh, friendly, not friends. No. 331 00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:50,741 And... I hate saying this, 332 00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:52,284 but, you know, you've been reluctant 333 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,787 to kill people in a way that is, 334 00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:56,110 frankly, it's concerning to me. 335 00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:58,207 Oh, I'll show you reluctant. 336 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,546 Harley. Face it. 337 00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:06,297 You've... 338 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,218 You've evolved. 339 00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:10,928 You want to help people. 340 00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:12,638 You're not a villain anymore. 341 00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:13,889 That is not true! 342 00:16:13,972 --> 00:16:15,641 Why won't you just admit it? 343 00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:17,768 Because I don't want to lose you. 344 00:16:19,978 --> 00:16:22,856 Do you really think that you would lose me? 345 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,233 If we don't want the same thing, 346 00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,901 what does that mean for us? 347 00:16:25,984 --> 00:16:29,738 Look, if running the Legion of Doom with me isn't for you, 348 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,281 that's... it's okay. 349 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,492 I don't want you to compromise yourself. 350 00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:36,245 I mean, we're equals in this relationship, 351 00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:37,996 and that's why it's so great. 352 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,749 We can fully have different passions. 353 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,919 I mean, if I didn't leave you during your craft beer phase, 354 00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:45,587 I'm not leaving you now. 355 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,631 Yeah, no. I could not pull off those cargo shorts. 356 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:50,300 Look, as long as you're honest with me, 357 00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:53,137 I will support whatever you want to do. 358 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,931 But... what if I don't know exactly what that is? 359 00:16:56,014 --> 00:16:57,266 Like... 360 00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,993 Look, I, I know I don't want to kill Joker, 361 00:16:59,017 --> 00:17:01,395 and I... I don't want to do a big, evil plan, but, 362 00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:03,981 do I want to help people? I... Maybe. I don't know. 363 00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:06,608 I just... I haven't really let myself think about it. 364 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,527 People are saying I'm not a villain anymore, 365 00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,612 which is fine, like, whatever. Labels are lame. 366 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:14,742 But I... I'm not ready to identify as the other thing. 367 00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:17,953 You know what? We're going to figure it out together. Right? 368 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,538 BFFGFFs? 369 00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:20,539 That's us, right? 370 00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:21,874 Right. 371 00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:23,917 Beautiful stuff. 372 00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,461 What time is it? 373 00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,129 Where the fuck do you need to be? 374 00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:30,174 - Billy Bob! Billy Bob! 375 00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:31,925 Billy Bob! Billy Bob! 376 00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,303 They should be chanting my name. 377 00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:35,637 Play it cool, baby. 378 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,765 You've made it this far. Accept the applause. 379 00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:42,311 Give a faux-humble bow, and sit your ass down. 380 00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,317 Oh, no. 381 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,653 It is not Billy Bob whose performance has moved you all this evening. 382 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:54,156 It is I, Clayface, 383 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,867 the true star behind Thomas Wayne. 384 00:17:56,950 --> 00:18:00,871 Billy Bob is a shape shifter? That's how he does it. 385 00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:03,165 No, I'm not Billy Bob! 386 00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:05,834 He doesn't deserve your applause. 387 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:06,919 I do! 388 00:18:08,086 --> 00:18:09,797 Billy Bob is dead! 389 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,090 - Dead because of me! - Look, buddy. 390 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,801 They're just not listening. 391 00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:18,180 Congrats to Billy Bob Thornton on a spectacular performance. 392 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:22,351 This movie reminds us that billionaires like Bruce Wayne know no shame. 393 00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:25,729 The real drain on the city is the 1%. 394 00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:28,524 But today we come one step closer to ending 395 00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:32,361 the appalling wealth disparity in Gotham. 396 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:34,530 Send in the clowns! 397 00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:44,706 Oh. Uh. 398 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,542 This is a sting operation. 399 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,878 Public humiliation has a long history in the annals of justice. 400 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,214 So we lured you into our trap. 401 00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:54,633 And now we're busting you for tax evasion. 402 00:18:54,716 --> 00:18:58,220 Ladies and gentlemen, and non-binary friends, 403 00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:02,182 this is for you. 404 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:03,892 And for me. 405 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:07,104 "Bruce Wayne, you are under arrest for intentional omission. 406 00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:12,067 Manipulation, and alteration of accounting records." 407 00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:16,572 He's also guilty of being a thief and a bitch. 408 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:20,450 Wow! Huba-hub. What's with the glow up, Ivy? 409 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,077 And that's three. 410 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,495 You're goddamn right it is. 411 00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:25,289 I need a fucking drink! 412 00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:28,250 Let's go get blackout on bulk champagne. 413 00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:31,461 Deep breaths. 414 00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:32,754 You will be okay. 415 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:35,757 I know... I think? 416 00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,593 Maybe this is a good thing. 417 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:40,762 I have all this trauma I've been carrying around. 418 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,347 If I can finally go deal with it, 419 00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:44,933 I can get back to the life I want. 420 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,895 Helping people and protecting Gotham. 421 00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:50,272 It's exciting. And scary. 422 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:52,524 It is both of those things. 423 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:59,323 Hey, not to add to your trauma, but I think Selina stole your mom's pearls. 424 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,617 Oh, come on. 425 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:04,036 I'll be available for lame zoom sessions if you need me. 426 00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:10,083 Excuse me. Coming through. Pardon me. 427 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:11,835 Can you give us a minute, Carl? 428 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:15,422 Blackgate Penitentiary is 30 clicks off the port of Gotham. 429 00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:17,132 I'll have Nightwing gas up the BatBoat... 430 00:20:17,215 --> 00:20:19,593 Don't bother. I intend to serve my time. 431 00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:22,054 The people of the city have to know there are consequences, 432 00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:23,263 even for me. 433 00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:24,640 While I'm gone, 434 00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,308 I need you to step up, 435 00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:29,478 lead the Bat-Family, and protect Gotham. 436 00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,855 We can't do that without Batman. 437 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,523 Of course you can. 438 00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:35,484 You've already done it. 439 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,361 You stopped the Mad Hatter. 440 00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:39,655 You helped stop the zombies when I was... 441 00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:41,406 indisposed. 442 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,576 Gotham is in good hands. 443 00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:54,168 Huh? 444 00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:56,505 Mmm. 445 00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:58,840 Oh, so there were some hiccups tonight. 446 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:02,803 But if it helps, you win my best actor award. 447 00:21:02,886 --> 00:21:03,886 A hug. 448 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:06,555 It doesn't. 449 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:12,437 So, okay, that's, so that's what you've decided. 450 00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,022 It is. 451 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,817 I was alone for so long, carrying around all this trauma. 452 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:21,613 But then I met you and I fell in love, which helped me get past it. 453 00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:25,117 I'm finally in a place where I can actually think about what I want. 454 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,326 It's exciting. 455 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,286 And scary. 456 00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:30,580 I'm proud of you. 457 00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:33,500 So, is Lex gonna be pissed you didn't kill Joker? 458 00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:35,263 Oh, he'll probably want me even more now... 459 00:21:35,293 --> 00:21:37,337 Mmm. God knows I do. 460 00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:49,808 Hey, assholes! 461 00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:52,352 Uh. 462 00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:54,688 Harley? What are you doing here? 463 00:21:54,771 --> 00:21:58,126 Yeah, with Batty in the clink, I thought you silly rodents might need a little help. Hmm. 464 00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,651 Don't worry, Nightwing. 465 00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:01,546 You still have the best looking ass out of all of us. 466 00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:03,155 Mmm, let's give her a chance. 467 00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:04,990 You ready? 468 00:22:05,073 --> 00:22:07,010 Uh, like in general, or is there something specific we need to do? 469 00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:09,619 Welcome to the fam, Harley! 470 00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:12,913 Whoa! 471 00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:19,254 Thanks for waiting, you fucking dildos! 472 00:22:20,547 --> 00:22:21,590 I'll take the stairs.