1 00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:47,500 ♪ upbeat holiday music ♪ 2 00:01:07,730 --> 00:01:09,740 [♪♪♪] 3 00:01:30,050 --> 00:01:32,050 [♪♪♪] 4 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,490 [♪♪♪] 5 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,959 ["CANDY CANE LANE" BY SIA PLAYING] 6 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:14,509 ♪ Take a trip down Candy Cane Lane with me ♪ 7 00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:17,259 ♪ It's the cutest thing I swear you'll ever see ♪ 8 00:02:17,260 --> 00:02:20,809 ♪ It's the best, so get dressed ♪ 9 00:02:20,810 --> 00:02:25,689 ♪ I'll impress you with the colors of the rainbow ♪ 10 00:02:25,690 --> 00:02:29,309 ♪ Take a trip down Candy Cane Lane with me ♪ 11 00:02:29,310 --> 00:02:31,859 ♪ It's so magical, let's go there in your dreams ♪ 12 00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,399 ♪ It's the best... ♪ 13 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,489 TRUDY: ...so surprised when he saw all those presents 14 00:02:35,490 --> 00:02:38,279 under the Christmas tree, and she was one of them. 15 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:42,159 Now, this house was originally owned by Herbert Flackshaw, 16 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,499 who started this tradition on Candy Cane Lane. 17 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:48,919 He even hired his nephew Otis to play Santa Claus for many years, 18 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:51,709 until he was arrested for child endangerment in 1992. 19 00:02:51,710 --> 00:02:54,209 Ooh, you guys got to look at this house. 20 00:02:54,210 --> 00:02:55,629 This house is the site... 21 00:02:55,630 --> 00:02:57,630 HARPER: Are you having fun? 22 00:02:58,640 --> 00:02:59,969 - Are you having fun? 23 00:02:59,970 --> 00:03:01,889 - [LAUGHING] Yes, I think this is cute. 24 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,309 - It is. Yeah. 25 00:03:03,310 --> 00:03:05,519 - Oh, God, you hate it. 26 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,309 - [LAUGHING] No, I don't hate it. 27 00:03:07,310 --> 00:03:09,229 Baby, I'm just not a huge Christmas person. 28 00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:11,439 - I know, I know, but... [GROANS] 29 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,979 how can you not like the lights and the decorations 30 00:03:13,980 --> 00:03:15,779 and the Christmas trees? 31 00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:20,069 - Fun fact: did you know that Christmas trees are responsible 32 00:03:20,070 --> 00:03:23,199 for an annual average of four deaths, 33 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,249 15 injuries 34 00:03:25,250 --> 00:03:28,669 and a loss of $12 million? 35 00:03:28,670 --> 00:03:30,379 - [LAUGHING] Okay, I get it. 36 00:03:30,380 --> 00:03:32,209 I think you made your point. - [CHUCKLES] 37 00:03:32,210 --> 00:03:34,249 Thank you for trying to get me to like Christmas. 38 00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:35,709 I love that you love it. 39 00:03:35,710 --> 00:03:37,799 I'm just so content taking care of other people's pets 40 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,509 when they're away for the holiday-- - [GASPS] 41 00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:40,930 Come with me. 42 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,430 - Wait, where are we going? 43 00:03:46,430 --> 00:03:47,979 Do you know these people? 44 00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:49,980 What are you doing? - No. Come here. 45 00:03:54,230 --> 00:03:57,069 - [GRUNTS] Still not clear on the plan. 46 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,569 - Will you shut up and follow me, please? 47 00:03:59,570 --> 00:04:01,529 Come on. 48 00:04:01,530 --> 00:04:02,950 - [SCOFFS] 49 00:04:09,370 --> 00:04:11,210 - [HARPER SIGHS] 50 00:04:13,630 --> 00:04:15,590 Well, does this do anything for you? 51 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,890 - This is beautiful. 52 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,969 HARPER: I hate that you're gonna be alone on Christmas. 53 00:04:25,970 --> 00:04:27,809 I'm gonna miss you. 54 00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:29,809 - Hey, I'm gonna miss you, too. 55 00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:31,770 - We could just stay up here. 56 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,780 - I'd do that. - [CHUCKLES] 57 00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:39,859 WOMAN: Hey! I hear you up there. 58 00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:41,199 I'm calling the police. - [GASPS] 59 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:42,659 - Um... - [GASPING] 60 00:04:42,660 --> 00:04:44,069 - [BOTH GRUNTING] 61 00:04:44,070 --> 00:04:45,989 [SLIDING] - [ABBY GRUNTS] 62 00:04:45,990 --> 00:04:47,699 - Abby? ABBY: Harper! 63 00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:50,209 - [SCREAMS] Oh, my God. 64 00:04:50,210 --> 00:04:51,959 Are you okay? - Um... 65 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,289 I don't know. Uh, what do I do? 66 00:04:54,290 --> 00:04:56,249 Stay there. I'm gonna get you down. 67 00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:57,709 - Okay. Yeah. 68 00:04:57,710 --> 00:04:59,590 - Shit. - Uh... 69 00:05:00,630 --> 00:05:02,429 [GASPS] Oh. 70 00:05:02,430 --> 00:05:04,089 WOMAN: What are you doing out there? 71 00:05:04,090 --> 00:05:05,889 - Harper! WOMAN: Are you peeping? 72 00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:07,469 Don't you peep at me. 73 00:05:07,470 --> 00:05:08,559 - Oh, God! [YELLS] 74 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:09,849 [AIR HISSING] HARPER: Abby? 75 00:05:09,850 --> 00:05:11,809 - [GROANING] 76 00:05:11,810 --> 00:05:13,599 Oh, my God. Are you okay? 77 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,189 - I'm so great. 78 00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:16,769 Here, here. Yeah, yeah, come on. 79 00:05:16,770 --> 00:05:17,979 We got to go. Come on. 80 00:05:17,980 --> 00:05:19,189 She's coming. Go. Run. - Oh. Hey. 81 00:05:19,190 --> 00:05:20,609 Yeah, you better run. 82 00:05:20,610 --> 00:05:22,279 Pervert. - [LAUGHING] 83 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,279 - Who said you could come downstairs? 84 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:25,949 Giddyap. 85 00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:27,950 - [BOTH LAUGHING] 86 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,290 [WHOOPING] 87 00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:33,330 [LAUGHING CONTINUES] 88 00:05:45,430 --> 00:05:47,429 - [HARPER SIGHS] 89 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,969 Come with me. 90 00:05:48,970 --> 00:05:50,519 - Where? 91 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:53,099 - To my parents' house for Christmas. 92 00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:55,729 - Oh, really? 93 00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,649 I've got the pets to sit. 94 00:05:57,650 --> 00:06:00,439 - Oh, my God, get someone to cover for you. 95 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,649 I want to... 96 00:06:02,650 --> 00:06:05,319 wake up with you on Christmas morning. 97 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:08,369 And if that doesn't convince you to love Christmas, 98 00:06:08,370 --> 00:06:10,370 I'll never bring it up again. 99 00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:14,869 - Deal. 100 00:06:14,870 --> 00:06:16,790 Yeah. - Mm. 101 00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:31,519 ["JINGLE BELLS" BY JOY OLADOKUN PLAYING] 102 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,809 [IN DISTANCE] ♪ Dashing through the snow ♪ 103 00:06:34,810 --> 00:06:38,109 ♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪ 104 00:06:38,110 --> 00:06:41,439 ♪ O'er the fields we go ♪ 105 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,689 ♪ Laughing all the way ♪ 106 00:06:44,690 --> 00:06:47,819 ♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪ 107 00:06:47,820 --> 00:06:49,069 [DOOR CLOSES] 108 00:06:49,070 --> 00:06:50,579 ♪ Making spirits bright ♪ 109 00:06:50,580 --> 00:06:54,369 ♪ What fun it is to laugh and sing ♪ 110 00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:57,329 ♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪ 111 00:06:57,330 --> 00:06:59,289 ♪ Oh, jingle bells... ♪ 112 00:06:59,290 --> 00:07:00,539 - Hi. 113 00:07:00,540 --> 00:07:01,749 - Hey. 114 00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:02,919 Sit down. 115 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,049 - What's going on in here? 116 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:08,719 - I just woke up thinking about going home with you and got... 117 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,679 very excited about Christmas. 118 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:15,059 - Oh... baby, you don't-- You don't have to come with me. 119 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,229 - Well, I want to. HARPER: No. 120 00:07:16,230 --> 00:07:18,019 No, no, no, no, I-- [SIGHS] 121 00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:20,189 I feel like I really put you on the spot last night, 122 00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:22,729 and I understand how you feel about Christmas 123 00:07:22,730 --> 00:07:24,819 because you lost your parents, and you just don't have-- 124 00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:26,949 - No, no, no, I-I genuinely want to go. 125 00:07:26,950 --> 00:07:28,859 - Uh-huh. 126 00:07:28,860 --> 00:07:31,909 - I get to go meet the people that made my favorite person. 127 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,619 - Okay. 128 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,369 But who's gonna look after all those pets? 129 00:07:36,370 --> 00:07:38,370 - John's gonna cover for me. 130 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:45,049 I know why you're worried. 131 00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:47,169 But don't be. 132 00:07:47,170 --> 00:07:49,339 I'm all in on Christmas. 133 00:07:49,340 --> 00:07:50,969 - [INHALES DEEPLY] 134 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,969 ABBY: Hmm? - Good. 135 00:07:52,970 --> 00:07:54,560 ABBY: Yeah. 136 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:58,309 So, for the cat, you can go every other day, 137 00:07:58,310 --> 00:08:00,439 but the dog and the fish need to be seen morning and night. 138 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:01,859 - Mm-hmm. Okay. - Oh, and the apartment on Butler 139 00:08:01,860 --> 00:08:03,729 has this weird lock, so if you jiggle it, 140 00:08:03,730 --> 00:08:05,899 it will lock, but you have to make sure that you do that. 141 00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:07,689 - Yes. - What are you doing on your phone? 142 00:08:07,690 --> 00:08:10,239 - I'm sorry, I left a gentleman alone in my apartment, 143 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,239 so I'm tracking him to make sure he leaves. 144 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:14,159 - You're tracking him? - Yeah. I track everybody. 145 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,579 If the NSA can do it, so can I. 146 00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,260 And he's gone. Sorry, what were you saying? 147 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,749 - I wrote it all down. 148 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,249 They're really specific directions, 149 00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:24,089 but if you need anything, you can obviously call me. 150 00:08:24,090 --> 00:08:25,299 - Abigail, don't worry. 151 00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:28,379 I'm responsible for the careers of dozens of authors. 152 00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:31,049 I am more than capable of taking care of a few pets for two days. 153 00:08:31,050 --> 00:08:33,179 It's... it's five days. 154 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,180 Five days. That's what I said. 155 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,180 WAITER: Refill? - Hi. 156 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,349 And I sort of think I made the right decision, but at the same time-- 157 00:08:38,350 --> 00:08:39,559 - What is Ultrasuede? 158 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:42,809 - Ultrasuede is, like, a water-resistant fabric. 159 00:08:42,810 --> 00:08:44,229 - Hello. 160 00:08:44,230 --> 00:08:45,769 - What are we doing here? 161 00:08:45,770 --> 00:08:47,229 - Hi. Can I help you? 162 00:08:47,230 --> 00:08:48,899 - Yeah, I'm picking up. My name's Abby Holland. 163 00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:50,739 - Oh, yes, of course. Um, just wait right here. 164 00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:52,909 I'll be right back. Oh, enjoy some champagne. 165 00:08:52,910 --> 00:08:54,699 - Oh. 166 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:55,829 Thank you. 167 00:08:55,830 --> 00:08:57,700 I love champagne. 168 00:08:58,950 --> 00:09:00,620 - Here we are. 169 00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:02,860 May I? - Yeah, of course. Thanks. 170 00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:10,419 There it is. 171 00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:12,050 - No. 172 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,679 Abby, you and Harper have a perfect relationship. 173 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,469 Why do you want to ruin that 174 00:09:17,470 --> 00:09:19,889 by engaging in one of the most archaic institutions 175 00:09:19,890 --> 00:09:22,099 in the history of the human race? 176 00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:23,849 - Because I want to marry her. 177 00:09:23,850 --> 00:09:26,649 - Okay, you say that, but what you're actually doing 178 00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,899 is tricking the woman you claim to love 179 00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:31,439 by trapping her in a box of heteronormativity 180 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,319 and trying to make her your property. 181 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,779 She is not a rice cooker or a cake plate. 182 00:09:35,780 --> 00:09:37,159 She's a human being. 183 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,539 - No, it's not about owning her. 184 00:09:38,540 --> 00:09:40,079 It's about building a life with her. 185 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:44,670 She is my person, and I really want everyone to know that. 186 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,089 - I suppose that's one way of looking at it. 187 00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:51,090 So, when are you gonna ask her? 188 00:09:52,670 --> 00:09:54,589 - I was thinking of doing it on New Year's, 189 00:09:54,590 --> 00:09:56,719 but now that I'm going home with her... 190 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:58,759 I understand this is very old-fashioned, 191 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,849 but I'm probably gonna ask her dad for his blessing 192 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,850 and propose on Christmas morning. 193 00:10:04,230 --> 00:10:07,979 - I'm sorry, ask her dad for his blessing? 194 00:10:07,980 --> 00:10:11,359 ["JOLLY OLD SAINT NICHOLAS" BY CAVEBOY PLAYING] 195 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,189 Way to stick it to the patriarchy. 196 00:10:13,190 --> 00:10:15,159 Really well done. 197 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:18,619 ♪ Jolly old Saint Nicholas ♪ 198 00:10:18,620 --> 00:10:21,579 ♪ Lean your ear this way ♪ 199 00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:25,039 ♪ Don't you tell a single soul ♪ 200 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,959 ♪ What I'm gonna say... ♪ 201 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,339 ABBY: God, I'm so excited. 202 00:10:29,340 --> 00:10:32,459 I can't believe I'm finally gonna meet everyone. 203 00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:36,259 I mean, I haven't had a family Christmas in ten years. 204 00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:38,679 Also, a fact you don't know about me: 205 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:41,429 I am actually very good with parents. 206 00:10:41,430 --> 00:10:44,139 - Okay, there's something that we should talk about 207 00:10:44,140 --> 00:10:45,729 before we get to my parents' house. 208 00:10:45,730 --> 00:10:46,809 - What is it? 209 00:10:46,810 --> 00:10:48,809 - Do you remember this summer 210 00:10:48,810 --> 00:10:53,029 when I came out to my parents and told them we were together 211 00:10:53,030 --> 00:10:55,239 and they took it really well? 212 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,949 - Yeah. 213 00:10:56,950 --> 00:11:01,369 - Okay, well, that wasn't entirely accurate. 214 00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:03,789 - They didn't take it well? 215 00:11:03,790 --> 00:11:05,829 - No. No, no. 216 00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:08,329 Um... 217 00:11:08,330 --> 00:11:10,340 I didn't tell them. 218 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,129 I was going to, and then Dad told us 219 00:11:15,130 --> 00:11:16,929 that he was running for mayor, 220 00:11:16,930 --> 00:11:19,259 and it just didn't feel like the right time, 221 00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:22,099 and then now he's trying to get the support of this donor, 222 00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:24,559 and our whole Christmas is about impressing this person, 223 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:27,689 which is stressing my mom out even more than usual, and I just-- 224 00:11:27,690 --> 00:11:30,059 I know that if I tell them now, 225 00:11:30,060 --> 00:11:33,399 their reaction is gonna be colored by all this other stress, 226 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,899 and I-I'm sorry, I don't think that's fair. 227 00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:37,649 To you or to us. 228 00:11:37,650 --> 00:11:39,319 - Then why did you invite me? 229 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:43,739 - Because we were just having such a special night, and... 230 00:11:43,740 --> 00:11:47,579 and, fine, I got carried away, but it's because I love you 231 00:11:47,580 --> 00:11:51,249 and-and I want to give you such a great Christmas. 232 00:11:51,250 --> 00:11:53,669 - You're off to a really great start. 233 00:11:53,670 --> 00:11:54,839 - I'm so sorry. 234 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,879 - So, who do they think I am? 235 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,339 - My roommate. 236 00:11:58,340 --> 00:12:00,299 - They don't think it's weird that you're bringing 237 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,049 your roommate home for Christmas? 238 00:12:02,050 --> 00:12:04,809 - No, because I told them that you had nowhere else to go 239 00:12:04,810 --> 00:12:08,889 because your parents are no longer with us. 240 00:12:08,890 --> 00:12:10,229 - I'm not going. 241 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:14,229 - Look, this is actually a really good opportunity 242 00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:19,489 for them to see how amazing and kind and smart you are. 243 00:12:19,490 --> 00:12:21,489 You said it yourself, you're great with parents, 244 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:24,529 so they're gonna meet you, they're gonna fall in love with you, 245 00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:27,790 and then that'll make it so much easier when I do tell them. 246 00:12:29,660 --> 00:12:31,670 Look... 247 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,129 I get it, okay? 248 00:12:37,130 --> 00:12:40,219 I am asking a lot of you. 249 00:12:40,220 --> 00:12:42,889 But I promise I will tell them everything 250 00:12:42,890 --> 00:12:44,890 after the holidays. 251 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,150 - Okay, we can do this. 252 00:12:57,230 --> 00:12:58,899 It's five days. 253 00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:00,739 How bad can it be? 254 00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:02,740 ["JINGLE BELLS" INSTRUMENTAL PLAYING] 255 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:15,169 ABBY: Should I have some sort of cover story or something? 256 00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,339 HARPER: Oh, no, no. 257 00:13:16,340 --> 00:13:17,959 Just be you. - Okay. 258 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,709 - I mean, but don't, you know, 259 00:13:19,710 --> 00:13:22,299 say that we're together, obviously, and, um... 260 00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:26,679 you know, maybe don't mention that you're, um... 261 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,219 - Gay? - Yeah. 262 00:13:28,220 --> 00:13:31,139 Yeah, I think, actually, it might be better just to avoid it. 263 00:13:31,140 --> 00:13:32,439 But don't lie. 264 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,399 You're a very bad liar. 265 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,650 - No, I'm not. 266 00:13:37,270 --> 00:13:39,609 - Hi! - Hi. 267 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:41,109 - Wait. 268 00:13:41,110 --> 00:13:42,489 - Mom, what are you doing? [CAMERA CLICKING] 269 00:13:42,490 --> 00:13:45,239 - I started an Instagram feed 270 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:49,039 for your father to give voters a peek behind the curtain. 271 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,829 Your mother's going viral! 272 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,459 - [ALL CHUCKLE] 273 00:13:52,460 --> 00:13:53,579 TIPPER: Hi! 274 00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:55,169 BOTH: Aw. 275 00:13:55,170 --> 00:13:57,129 - Look at you. 276 00:13:57,130 --> 00:14:01,509 You get more and more beautiful every single time I see you. 277 00:14:01,510 --> 00:14:03,929 - [LAUGHING] Mom, stop. 278 00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:05,429 - Did you bring concealer? 279 00:14:05,430 --> 00:14:07,139 - Yeah. This is Abby. 280 00:14:07,140 --> 00:14:08,559 - Hi, Abby. 281 00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:10,179 - [CHUCKLES] TIPPER: It is so nice to meet you. 282 00:14:10,180 --> 00:14:11,599 - It's so nice to meet you, too. 283 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,849 Thank you for having me here. 284 00:14:12,850 --> 00:14:14,269 - It is nothing. 285 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:18,649 Harper's father and I are always happy to open our doors to those in need. 286 00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:20,069 - Where is Dad? 287 00:14:20,070 --> 00:14:22,439 - Uh, he's on a call. - Oh, okay. Well-- 288 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,149 - Harper! - [GASPING, YELLING] 289 00:14:24,150 --> 00:14:26,409 - Oh, Jane. - [JANE LAUGHING] 290 00:14:26,410 --> 00:14:28,159 HARPER: Oh, I have asked you not to do that. 291 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,659 - I know. I didn't listen. 292 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,489 JANE: Oh. Yay! HARPER: Oh. 293 00:14:31,490 --> 00:14:33,249 I didn't think you'd be here, but here you are. 294 00:14:33,250 --> 00:14:34,829 - Oh, I didn't want to wait one more second 295 00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:36,209 to see my little sis. - Oh, what's this? 296 00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:37,749 - Oh, I was changing the air filters. - It's sticky. 297 00:14:37,750 --> 00:14:39,749 - Thank you, Jane. 298 00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:41,459 Yeah, hi. You must be Abby. 299 00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:44,219 - Yeah. Nice to meet you. JANE: You, too. 300 00:14:44,220 --> 00:14:45,840 Um... 301 00:14:47,260 --> 00:14:50,049 I'm so sorry about your parents. 302 00:14:50,050 --> 00:14:51,469 HARPER: Oh, no. 303 00:14:51,470 --> 00:14:53,470 - Uh, it-it ha-- It happened a long time ago. 304 00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:56,439 - You're so brave. 305 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:57,939 ABBY: Oh. JANE: You don't need to be. 306 00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,399 - Jane. - Mom, can you just-- 307 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:00,939 TIPPER: Okay. That's enough, Jane. 308 00:15:00,940 --> 00:15:03,529 Jane, too much. Too much. JANE: You're always safe with-- 309 00:15:03,530 --> 00:15:06,109 - So, this is our living room. 310 00:15:06,110 --> 00:15:07,989 - Wow, that's a beautiful piano. 311 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,319 - Isn't it? 312 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,369 Of course, I wish my daughters had bothered 313 00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:13,539 to learn to play it, but it does look nice. 314 00:15:13,540 --> 00:15:15,499 - I took lessons for eight years. 315 00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:17,169 TIPPER: And this is the den. 316 00:15:17,170 --> 00:15:18,999 - You're sure Harry will be there tomorrow night, right? 317 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,039 Perfect. 318 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:21,709 Oh, uh, Carolyn, I'll call you later. 319 00:15:21,710 --> 00:15:23,339 My daughter just arrived. 320 00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:25,169 There she is, my perfect girl. 321 00:15:25,170 --> 00:15:27,299 - Hi, Dad. [LAUGHS] - Oh, look at you. 322 00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:29,889 BOTH: Oh! [CAMERA CLICKS] 323 00:15:29,890 --> 00:15:32,309 - Hi, Dad. - Jane, glad you're here. 324 00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:34,599 The Internet has been a little spotty. 325 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,599 - Ugh, not again. 326 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,229 - Oh, and this is Harper's orphan friend. 327 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:40,979 HARPER: Oh. - This is Abby. 328 00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:42,729 - Yes, of course. ABBY: Hey, sir. 329 00:15:42,730 --> 00:15:44,359 - [SIGHS] Terrible. 330 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,489 There, there. 331 00:15:46,490 --> 00:15:48,279 Harper, I read your piece about that senator. 332 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,699 He's got to resign, right? 333 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:51,489 HARPER: Yeah, I think it's just a matter of time. 334 00:15:51,490 --> 00:15:53,949 - That was a good piece. - Aw. 335 00:15:53,950 --> 00:15:54,950 Thanks, Dad. 336 00:15:54,951 --> 00:15:56,579 - You know what was really good? 337 00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:58,959 Um, the speech that you made at the food bank on Thanksgiving. 338 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:01,379 - Oh, thank you. You-you know, that speech wasn't scripted. 339 00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:02,959 I ju-- It just came to me. 340 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,589 - You could tell. I mean, you were very-- 341 00:16:04,590 --> 00:16:06,419 Okay, enough shoptalk. Let's continue. 342 00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:08,509 - Okay. Bye. TED: See you later. 343 00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:11,049 - And this is Sloane's room. 344 00:16:11,050 --> 00:16:13,299 She's my eldest. 345 00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:14,719 - That's a lot of trophies. 346 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,059 - Yes. 347 00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:17,729 She was brilliant. 348 00:16:17,730 --> 00:16:19,439 She and her husband Eric-- 349 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:22,309 he graduated top of his class at Yale-- 350 00:16:22,310 --> 00:16:25,019 were very successful attorneys, 351 00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:28,779 but they gave it all up to raise their beautiful twins, 352 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:32,570 and now they make gift baskets. 353 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,659 Which is great. 354 00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:38,119 HARPER: Mm-hmm. 355 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,710 - What'd I miss? [PANTING] 356 00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,749 - Wow. 357 00:16:45,750 --> 00:16:48,169 - [SIGHS] I know, right? 358 00:16:48,170 --> 00:16:50,009 Ugh, is it hot in here, 359 00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,759 or is it just him? HARPER: Okay. 360 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,429 - Yummy, yummy, yummy. HARPER: Okay. 361 00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:55,759 - No. Jane. No. - Num, num. 362 00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:57,269 HARPER: Mom, I thought you were gonna 363 00:16:57,270 --> 00:16:58,979 turn this room into your office. 364 00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:01,229 - Men need offices, dear. 365 00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:05,649 Oh, that is Harper's old high school boyfriend Connor! 366 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:08,649 [LAUGHS] HARPER: I asked you to put this away. 367 00:17:08,650 --> 00:17:10,529 TIPPER: You know, he's still single. 368 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,489 HARPER: Okay, Mom, stop, please. TIPPER: Mm. 369 00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:14,239 Do you have a boyfriend, Abby? 370 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:15,319 - No. 371 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:16,619 But I have. 372 00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:18,699 'Cause... I have had many. 373 00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:22,499 Um, but-but not too many; an-an appropriate amount. 374 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,539 I actually just went through a breakup. 375 00:17:24,540 --> 00:17:26,919 - Oh, no. TIPPER: Abby. 376 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,589 - [SIGHS] Yeah, with, um... 377 00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:31,169 He was a-- He was a milk... man. 378 00:17:31,170 --> 00:17:34,049 - Okay, and I think we'll just settle in now. 379 00:17:34,050 --> 00:17:37,719 - Okay. Well, we'll just show Abby to her room. 380 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,639 - What, is she not gonna stay up here with me? 381 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:44,899 - Harper, I would never ask two grown women to share the same bed. 382 00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:46,809 [LAUGHING] - Harper. 383 00:17:46,810 --> 00:17:50,149 - No, A-Abby will stay in Jane's old room. 384 00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:51,609 - Oh, oh, I could show it to her. - Okay. 385 00:17:51,610 --> 00:17:52,819 I could take her down. Yeah, let's go. 386 00:17:52,820 --> 00:17:55,159 - Settle down. JANE: I'm settled! 387 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,740 - Okay. [DOOR CLOSES] 388 00:17:59,910 --> 00:18:01,289 - Oh. 389 00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:02,789 Your room's in the basement. 390 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,289 Oh, yeah. I had night terrors. 391 00:18:04,290 --> 00:18:07,629 They put me down here so I wouldn't wake everyone up. [CHUCKLES] 392 00:18:07,630 --> 00:18:09,920 Behold. [CHUCKLES] 393 00:18:12,130 --> 00:18:13,759 Cool, huh? 394 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,009 - It's very cool. 395 00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:17,089 - It's my room. 396 00:18:17,090 --> 00:18:18,809 - Is everything okay? 397 00:18:18,810 --> 00:18:20,179 - Yeah. Yeah. Really good. 398 00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:21,929 - No, not you. No. - Oh. 399 00:18:21,930 --> 00:18:23,429 - Yeah. TIPPER: Thank you, Jane. 400 00:18:23,430 --> 00:18:27,019 Why don't you go on home and rest up a little bit before dinner? 401 00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:28,609 - Okay. - [CHUCKLES] 402 00:18:28,610 --> 00:18:30,779 - Don't have any fun without me. [LAUGHS] 403 00:18:30,780 --> 00:18:33,149 - Yeah. JANE: Bye. 404 00:18:33,150 --> 00:18:35,489 - I'm sorry about all this mess. 405 00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:37,319 What? No, this is so nice. 406 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:39,909 - Better than your room at the orphanage? 407 00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:42,249 - Oh, I-I wasn't in an orphanage, 408 00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:44,959 'cause I-I was 19 when my parents died. 409 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,209 - Oh. One of the lucky ones. 410 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,379 - Well... 411 00:18:48,380 --> 00:18:50,289 TIPPER: I'll let you settle in. 412 00:18:50,290 --> 00:18:52,459 We leave for dinner at 6:45. 413 00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:53,669 - Okay. 414 00:18:53,670 --> 00:18:55,759 - Oh, there's no lock on this door. 415 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,009 We had it removed because Jane was always scared 416 00:18:58,010 --> 00:19:00,509 that we would lock her in. 417 00:19:00,510 --> 00:19:02,679 But don't worry, you'll have total privacy. 418 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,479 - Okay. [CHUCKLES] Thank you. 419 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:05,980 - Okay. 420 00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,729 ["NOTHING RHYMES WITH CHRISTMAS" BY ANA GASTEYER PLAYING] 421 00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:12,319 ♪ Nothing rhymes with Christmas ♪ 422 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,319 ♪ Every poet knows... ♪ 423 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,740 JANE: Milady. ABBY: Thank you. 424 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:18,159 COLLEEN: Is this all right? 425 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:19,739 This is perfect, Colleen. Thank you. 426 00:19:19,740 --> 00:19:22,289 - Oh, actually, I think we're gonna need one more chair. 427 00:19:22,290 --> 00:19:23,579 COLLEEN: I'll have one brought over. 428 00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:25,289 - Oh, who else is joining us? 429 00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:27,039 - Hey, guys. How's it going? 430 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,879 - [CHUCKLING] Connor! How funny to see you here. 431 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,129 - You told me to be here at 7:00, right? 432 00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:32,749 TIPPER: Shh. Oh, wow. JANE: Hey. CONNOR: How you doing? 433 00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:34,339 TED: Great to see you, Connor. 434 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,379 - Hey, Ted. How you doing? - Great. 435 00:19:35,380 --> 00:19:37,129 - Hi, Connor. CONNOR: Hi, Jane. 436 00:19:37,130 --> 00:19:38,429 Hi. It's been a minute. - Hi. 437 00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:39,589 - How are you? - Yeah. Hey. 438 00:19:39,590 --> 00:19:41,599 - Connor, this is Harper's friend Abby. 439 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,219 CONNOR: Oh, hey. Connor. - Hey. - She's an orphan. 440 00:19:43,220 --> 00:19:45,139 - Oh, um, I'm so sorry. - Jane. 441 00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:46,389 CONNOR: I-- - What? - What are you doing? 442 00:19:46,390 --> 00:19:47,559 - She is. - No, it's-it's-- 443 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:48,560 - It's all we have. 444 00:19:48,561 --> 00:19:49,769 TIPPER: All right. 445 00:19:49,770 --> 00:19:51,399 Thank you. Let's all take a seat. 446 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,400 - [HARPER SIGHING] 447 00:19:55,990 --> 00:19:57,989 Do you want to switch? - No. 448 00:19:57,990 --> 00:20:00,159 No, this is perfect. - Okay. 449 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,159 JANE: And then in the third chapter, the Shadow Dreamers 450 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,159 discover that the gemstone that they thought was inside the gork 451 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,329 was actually stolen by an evil floam, which is sort of like a maggel 452 00:20:08,330 --> 00:20:10,119 but with less arms and more powers. 453 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,419 - Oh, wow. 454 00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:12,839 That's amazing. It really is. 455 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,999 - Jane, I just can't believe you're still working on that book. 456 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,049 It's been like ten years. 457 00:20:16,050 --> 00:20:17,669 - Takes a long time to build a world. 458 00:20:17,670 --> 00:20:21,179 - You know what I was thinking about the other day? 459 00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:23,719 I was thinking about that trip 460 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,269 that we took to our old house in Jackson Hole 461 00:20:26,270 --> 00:20:28,599 when Harper got chicken pox. CONNOR: Oh, yeah. 462 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:29,809 [LAUGHING] Oh, God. 463 00:20:29,810 --> 00:20:31,189 - Harper told me this story. 464 00:20:31,190 --> 00:20:35,319 - Then you must know that she very quickly gave it to Connor. 465 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:36,609 - Yes, she did. - [LAUGHTER] 466 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:38,109 CONNOR: Very quickly. TED: The two of them 467 00:20:38,110 --> 00:20:40,069 didn't leave the cabin for the whole trip, 468 00:20:40,070 --> 00:20:41,529 if I remember correctly. CONNOR: No. - Oh, my goodness. 469 00:20:41,530 --> 00:20:43,699 - Literally in a cabin running a fever. 470 00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:44,949 TED: Yeah. - Together. 471 00:20:44,950 --> 00:20:46,789 - Together. Yep, yep. TIPPER: Really laughing a lot. 472 00:20:46,790 --> 00:20:48,539 CONNOR: 00:20:50,369 Yeah. God, that was fun. You know, I really, 474 00:20:50,370 --> 00:20:51,919 really loved going on those trips. - Fun. 475 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,789 - Well, we loved having you, son. TIPPER: That was lovely. 476 00:20:53,790 --> 00:20:55,249 - Should we go to the ladies' room? 477 00:20:55,250 --> 00:20:58,009 - Oh, I-I would hate to miss some of these stories. 478 00:20:58,010 --> 00:21:00,090 - No, we'll be quick. 479 00:21:03,340 --> 00:21:05,969 - [CHUCKLES] - I am so sorry. 480 00:21:05,970 --> 00:21:07,929 I had no idea he was gonna be here. 481 00:21:07,930 --> 00:21:09,389 I swear. 482 00:21:09,390 --> 00:21:11,349 - It's funny, I remember you telling me that story. 483 00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:13,189 I think you just forgot to mention that Connor 484 00:21:13,190 --> 00:21:15,019 was also there. - [SIGHS] I know. 485 00:21:15,020 --> 00:21:18,939 I-I don't know, he didn't seem like an important part of the story. 486 00:21:18,940 --> 00:21:22,609 Look, I'm gonna talk to my mom, and I'm gonna make sure that 487 00:21:22,610 --> 00:21:25,450 nothing like this happens for the rest of the trip, okay? 488 00:21:26,990 --> 00:21:29,119 - You can be totally honest with me. 489 00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:30,539 Like, about anything. 490 00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:32,250 Seriously, I can take it. 491 00:21:33,290 --> 00:21:35,000 - Okay. 492 00:21:36,590 --> 00:21:39,089 Then you should know that it is very difficult 493 00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:42,090 to sit next to you at dinner and not be able to kiss you. 494 00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,850 - Yeah. 495 00:21:49,890 --> 00:21:51,729 - No more surprises. 496 00:21:51,730 --> 00:21:53,350 I promise. 497 00:21:57,770 --> 00:22:00,149 Riley. RILEY: Mm. 498 00:22:00,150 --> 00:22:01,940 Harper. 499 00:22:02,950 --> 00:22:04,909 - Mm. Uh... 500 00:22:04,910 --> 00:22:06,569 - Sorry, um... 501 00:22:06,570 --> 00:22:08,079 Riley, this is Abby. 502 00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:09,949 Abby is my-- - Orphan. 503 00:22:09,950 --> 00:22:11,369 Roommate. We-- 504 00:22:11,370 --> 00:22:13,329 I am an orphan, but we live together. 505 00:22:13,330 --> 00:22:14,619 As friends, um, like acquaintances. 506 00:22:14,620 --> 00:22:16,379 - Oh, please stop. - Yeah. 507 00:22:16,380 --> 00:22:18,089 - Nice to meet you. 508 00:22:18,090 --> 00:22:20,169 So, I'm just gonna sneak on by you guys. 509 00:22:20,170 --> 00:22:21,379 - Oh, God. Sorry. 510 00:22:21,380 --> 00:22:23,300 Sorry. Just... 511 00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:26,929 - Was that the Riley? 512 00:22:26,930 --> 00:22:30,009 - Okay, that one really wasn't my fault. 513 00:22:30,010 --> 00:22:31,639 - Well, who knows, maybe... 514 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,269 maybe another one of your exes will bring out dessert. 515 00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:36,649 - Okay. - Oh, my God. 516 00:22:36,650 --> 00:22:39,729 - Harper, did you see that the Bennetts are here? 517 00:22:39,730 --> 00:22:40,860 HARPER: Uh... 518 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:43,989 Yeah. We just ran into Riley. 519 00:22:43,990 --> 00:22:45,909 - Did you hear she's doing her residency at Johns Hopkins? 520 00:22:45,910 --> 00:22:47,779 - I should have her look at my mole. 521 00:22:47,780 --> 00:22:50,529 - No, um, I hadn't heard that. 522 00:22:50,530 --> 00:22:52,079 - It's very impressive. 523 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:53,789 Her parents must be proud. 524 00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:55,329 And relieved. 525 00:22:55,330 --> 00:22:57,169 - I know. That lifestyle choice. 526 00:22:57,170 --> 00:22:59,539 [TIPPER CHUCKLES] TED: Mm. Such a shame. 527 00:22:59,540 --> 00:23:00,629 - Abby, what do you do? 528 00:23:00,630 --> 00:23:05,549 - Oh, I'm-I'm working on my PhD in art history over at Carnegie Mellon. 529 00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:07,219 My parents were professors there, 530 00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:09,679 so I kind of wanted to follow in their footsteps. 531 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,759 - You know, before law school, 532 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:15,479 I took all the money I had and went to Paris for a month. 533 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:17,769 Spent every day in museums. 534 00:23:17,770 --> 00:23:20,559 That experience made me the man I am. 535 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,069 - That-that must have been incredible. 536 00:23:22,070 --> 00:23:23,229 What a dream. 537 00:23:23,230 --> 00:23:25,319 - It was. 538 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,859 Boy, Carnegie Mellon, huh? 539 00:23:27,860 --> 00:23:29,779 Bet you could teach me a thing or two. 540 00:23:29,780 --> 00:23:31,239 - [CHUCKLES] JANE: Should I go over there? 541 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:32,369 TED: No, darling, no. 542 00:23:32,370 --> 00:23:33,699 JANE: I do think it's getting bigger. 543 00:23:33,700 --> 00:23:35,300 TIPPER: No. TED: Stay at the table, Jane. 544 00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:40,040 [KNOCKING] 545 00:23:42,090 --> 00:23:44,629 - Oh. You settling in okay? ABBY: Hey. 546 00:23:44,630 --> 00:23:46,049 Yeah. Yeah. 547 00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:49,639 You're such a wonderful host, so I'm great. 548 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,259 - Thank you, Abby. 549 00:23:51,260 --> 00:23:52,509 Thank you. 550 00:23:52,510 --> 00:23:53,809 - Hi. - Hi, sweetie. 551 00:23:53,810 --> 00:23:55,219 Do you need something? 552 00:23:55,220 --> 00:23:57,179 - No, just to say good night to Abby. 553 00:23:57,180 --> 00:23:58,890 - Oh. 554 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:02,229 - Mom, do you mind? 555 00:24:02,230 --> 00:24:04,019 - Oh. [LAUGHS] 556 00:24:04,020 --> 00:24:05,779 I get it. Girl talk. 557 00:24:05,780 --> 00:24:07,529 Okay, when you finish, um, 558 00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:09,609 I want to give you a little early Christmas present. 559 00:24:09,610 --> 00:24:10,819 - Ooh, okay. 560 00:24:10,820 --> 00:24:12,410 - Night. TIPPER: Night, Abby. 561 00:24:14,950 --> 00:24:16,700 - [SIGHS] 562 00:24:18,460 --> 00:24:20,459 Tonight wasn't the best. 563 00:24:20,460 --> 00:24:22,039 - Yeah. 564 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,589 But we got through it. 565 00:24:23,590 --> 00:24:25,209 - You know, you're right. 566 00:24:25,210 --> 00:24:27,209 You are really good with parents. 567 00:24:27,210 --> 00:24:28,919 - You think they like me? 568 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,629 - Definitely. 569 00:24:30,630 --> 00:24:33,679 - You think they like me as much as they love Connor? 570 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,059 - Oh, no. No, no. 571 00:24:36,060 --> 00:24:38,429 But they don't even really like me that much, so... 572 00:24:38,430 --> 00:24:40,099 - [LAUGHING] Oh. 573 00:24:40,100 --> 00:24:41,560 - [HARPER MUTTERS] 574 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,440 I love you. - I love you. 575 00:24:49,650 --> 00:24:51,660 [CHUCKLING] Stop it. - [LAUGHS] 576 00:24:52,820 --> 00:24:55,029 JOHN: The hell did it go? 577 00:24:55,030 --> 00:24:57,869 Cheap freaking puzzle. 578 00:24:57,870 --> 00:24:59,869 [CELL PHONE VIBRATING] 579 00:24:59,870 --> 00:25:02,209 Yeah, Abby, I'm in the middle of something right now. 580 00:25:02,210 --> 00:25:03,829 Is everything okay? ABBY: Yeah. 581 00:25:03,830 --> 00:25:04,879 I'm just checking on the animals. 582 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:05,880 JOHN: Oh, they're all good. 583 00:25:05,881 --> 00:25:06,999 I walked the dog. 584 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,259 Fed him, fed the cats. 585 00:25:08,260 --> 00:25:10,260 All are well. ABBY: What about the fish? 586 00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:12,839 - Uh, the fish are-- Yeah. 587 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,219 The-the-the fish are-are-- Yes. Yeah. 588 00:25:15,220 --> 00:25:16,389 But enough about me. 589 00:25:16,390 --> 00:25:17,390 Have you managed 590 00:25:17,391 --> 00:25:21,939 to get a man's permission to take ownership of an adult human woman yet? 591 00:25:21,940 --> 00:25:23,349 - Not exactly. 592 00:25:23,350 --> 00:25:24,769 - What's going on? You sound tense. 593 00:25:24,770 --> 00:25:26,269 ABBY: No, I'm not tense. I'm great. 594 00:25:26,270 --> 00:25:28,279 There's just one tiny thing. 595 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:29,940 Um... 596 00:25:31,740 --> 00:25:34,109 Harper isn't out, and her parents don't know we're together. 597 00:25:34,110 --> 00:25:37,279 - Okay, you know what, I always felt like something was off. 598 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,199 You can't go over a year without meeting 599 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:40,449 your significant other's parents. 600 00:25:40,450 --> 00:25:41,619 Trust me, I have tried. 601 00:25:41,620 --> 00:25:43,039 - I know, but it's not that big of a deal, 602 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,379 'cause she does plan on telling them immediately after the holidays. 603 00:25:45,380 --> 00:25:48,249 - So, what, her parents are believing that their straight daughter 604 00:25:48,250 --> 00:25:51,419 brought home her lesbian friend for Christmas? 605 00:25:51,420 --> 00:25:52,719 - No. [SCOFFS] 606 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:56,139 No. They also think that I'm... 607 00:25:56,140 --> 00:25:58,259 that I'm straight. 608 00:25:58,260 --> 00:26:00,019 - Have they ever met a lesbian? 609 00:26:00,020 --> 00:26:01,309 - It's not so bad. 610 00:26:01,310 --> 00:26:03,229 It's kind of fun having a secret. 611 00:26:03,230 --> 00:26:04,849 - Yeah, I mean, there's nothing more erotic 612 00:26:04,850 --> 00:26:06,689 than concealing your authentic selves. 613 00:26:06,690 --> 00:26:09,859 - I know it's not ideal. I-- 614 00:26:09,860 --> 00:26:12,400 But I-I know that it's what she needs right now, so... 615 00:26:20,450 --> 00:26:22,659 [GASPS] 616 00:26:22,660 --> 00:26:24,119 - Who are you? 617 00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:26,209 - I'm Abby. 618 00:26:26,210 --> 00:26:27,919 - Do you work here? 619 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:29,549 - No, I'm H-Harper's friend. 620 00:26:29,550 --> 00:26:31,549 SLOANE: Kids? 621 00:26:31,550 --> 00:26:33,129 Where are you? 622 00:26:33,130 --> 00:26:35,129 Hey. 623 00:26:35,130 --> 00:26:37,220 What are you doing in here? Out. 624 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:40,719 MATILDA: But that's our room. 625 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,269 - Sorry about them. I'm Sloane. 626 00:26:42,270 --> 00:26:44,099 MATILDA: Why does she get to sleep in there? 627 00:26:44,100 --> 00:26:46,849 - Hi. I'm... SLOANE: Because she's a grown-up, sweetie. 628 00:26:46,850 --> 00:26:48,519 - ...Abby. 629 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,860 [IN DISTANCE] SLOANE: Come. We're having breakfast. 630 00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:04,869 - [YAWNS] 631 00:27:04,870 --> 00:27:06,459 - Are you tired? 632 00:27:06,460 --> 00:27:08,079 Not me. I like the morning. 633 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,339 But then I have something meaningful to get out of bed for, so... 634 00:27:11,340 --> 00:27:13,589 KIDS: Thank you, Mommy. 635 00:27:13,590 --> 00:27:15,089 - Snowman pancakes. 636 00:27:15,090 --> 00:27:18,299 God, that's a lot of work for something that's just gonna turn to shit. 637 00:27:18,300 --> 00:27:20,139 Oh, but that's kind of like your law degree. 638 00:27:20,140 --> 00:27:22,219 - It must be freeing to be so self-involved 639 00:27:22,220 --> 00:27:24,219 you don't realize that's actually not appropriate language 640 00:27:24,220 --> 00:27:25,429 to use in front of children. 641 00:27:25,430 --> 00:27:26,950 ERIC: We got everything out of the van. 642 00:27:27,850 --> 00:27:29,149 - Thank you, honey. - Mm-hmm. 643 00:27:29,150 --> 00:27:31,229 - Oh, this is-- - Abby. I'm Eric. 644 00:27:31,230 --> 00:27:32,689 - Nice to meet you. ERIC: Mm-hmm. 645 00:27:32,690 --> 00:27:36,279 A teaspoon of coconut oil-- add some nice moisture to those hands. 646 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:37,859 - Oh. 647 00:27:37,860 --> 00:27:39,200 Yeah, thank you. 648 00:27:42,370 --> 00:27:45,449 So, you and your sister are pretty intense. 649 00:27:45,450 --> 00:27:47,829 - What do you mean? 650 00:27:47,830 --> 00:27:48,999 - Freeze! ERIC: Ooh. 651 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,669 - Don't move one more muscle before I hug you! 652 00:27:52,670 --> 00:27:54,419 - Hi, Jane. JANE: Oh. Oh, hi. 653 00:27:54,420 --> 00:27:55,879 - Oh. Yay. - [JANE LAUGHS] 654 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:56,969 - [SLOANE CLEARS THROAT] 655 00:27:56,970 --> 00:27:58,929 JANE: Hi, Eric. Hi. ERIC: Hi, Jane. 656 00:27:58,930 --> 00:28:01,799 - Hi, you guys. Hi. 657 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:03,059 Um... [CHUCKLES] 658 00:28:03,060 --> 00:28:04,719 Gosh, you're so big. 659 00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:06,679 What are you, college students? 660 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,139 - We're in elementary school. 661 00:28:09,140 --> 00:28:11,269 - Yeah. No, I-I know. I'm just-- 662 00:28:11,270 --> 00:28:13,359 You're just so tall, you know? 663 00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:14,900 - Here they are. - My babies. 664 00:28:16,610 --> 00:28:19,029 Aw... 665 00:28:19,030 --> 00:28:21,069 - Hi, Daddy. - Did you get Harper's article I sent you? 666 00:28:21,070 --> 00:28:22,949 SLOANE: I did. TED: Good, right? 667 00:28:22,950 --> 00:28:24,119 - Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm. - Uh-huh. 668 00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:25,869 ERIC: Ted. - Eric. 669 00:28:25,870 --> 00:28:27,329 Good to see you. SLOANE: Hi, Mom. 670 00:28:27,330 --> 00:28:28,499 [CHUCKLING] TIPPER: Hi. 671 00:28:28,500 --> 00:28:30,289 - Morning. - Morning, Abby. 672 00:28:30,290 --> 00:28:32,839 Hey, girls, come here. TIPPER: I'm good. ERIC: Hi. 673 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:34,289 - Just-just-just come over here. 674 00:28:34,290 --> 00:28:35,999 TIPPER: Just move a bit. TED: I cannot believe 675 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:39,259 I've got all my daughters under one roof. 676 00:28:39,260 --> 00:28:41,219 Mm, mm. - This is great content. 677 00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:42,679 - Oh. - Hold it. Hold it. 678 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:43,680 - And smile. TED: Hold on. 679 00:28:43,681 --> 00:28:45,469 JANE: Daddy. - Uh-huh. Uh-huh. - Got it. 680 00:28:45,470 --> 00:28:47,139 - Okay. I got to shower. 681 00:28:47,140 --> 00:28:49,139 Hey, big night tonight, girls. - That's too much. 682 00:28:49,140 --> 00:28:50,809 - We're meeting a major donor at the party. 683 00:28:50,810 --> 00:28:52,649 Harper, I need you to bring your A game. 684 00:28:52,650 --> 00:28:54,729 - Got it. - Dad, do you need me to do anything? 685 00:28:54,730 --> 00:28:56,149 - Honey, no. 686 00:28:56,150 --> 00:28:59,069 You just bring that beautiful family and show them off. 687 00:28:59,070 --> 00:29:00,489 Who knows? 688 00:29:00,490 --> 00:29:02,779 These might be the only grandchildren we ever have. 689 00:29:02,780 --> 00:29:05,329 TIPPER: And it is crucial that we take 690 00:29:05,330 --> 00:29:08,499 the family holiday photo for the Instagram tonight, 691 00:29:08,500 --> 00:29:12,209 so don't wear anything that will strobe, Jane. 692 00:29:12,210 --> 00:29:14,839 - [JANE CHUCKLES SOFTLY] 693 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,839 [SIGHS] 694 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:18,459 Okay. 695 00:29:18,460 --> 00:29:21,549 Who's ready to go ice-skating? 696 00:29:21,550 --> 00:29:23,759 Are you ready? [CHUCKLES] - No. 697 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:25,760 ♪ upbeat holiday music ♪ 698 00:29:30,270 --> 00:29:32,479 - Let me know if you guys need any more room. 699 00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:35,020 I can make myself real small. 700 00:29:36,060 --> 00:29:39,279 - So, Sloane and Eric, you guys make gift baskets, right? 701 00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:40,609 - No. 702 00:29:40,610 --> 00:29:43,199 We create curated gift experiences 703 00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:45,619 inside of handmade reclaimed wood vessels. 704 00:29:45,620 --> 00:29:47,199 - Yeah, the vessels are gorgeous. 705 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,200 She has impeccable taste. 706 00:29:48,201 --> 00:29:50,199 - Oh, no, honey, you have the eye. 707 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:51,579 - Aw. - Mm. 708 00:29:51,580 --> 00:29:52,919 - That sounds great. 709 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:54,329 SLOANE: Yeah, Gwynnie seems to think so. 710 00:29:54,330 --> 00:29:56,129 Paltrow. Goop picked us up, 711 00:29:56,130 --> 00:29:58,090 and sales have been through the roof ever since. 712 00:29:59,130 --> 00:30:00,379 - [HARPER SIGHS] 713 00:30:00,380 --> 00:30:02,760 - [LIVELY CHATTER] 714 00:30:06,930 --> 00:30:08,099 HARPER: Hey. 715 00:30:08,100 --> 00:30:09,469 - Hey. 716 00:30:09,470 --> 00:30:11,429 - Are you sure you're okay? - Yeah. 717 00:30:11,430 --> 00:30:13,019 No, this is so fun. 718 00:30:13,020 --> 00:30:14,389 - Whoa. 719 00:30:14,390 --> 00:30:16,769 - Sloane, do you need a helper? 720 00:30:16,770 --> 00:30:19,399 - Please. I've always skated circles around you. 721 00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,739 - [CHUCKLES] That was in your youth. 722 00:30:21,740 --> 00:30:23,569 I mean, I've lapped you like 12 times today. 723 00:30:23,570 --> 00:30:26,409 - Like I'm even trying. - Like it would even matter. 724 00:30:26,410 --> 00:30:28,659 - 20 bucks says I can do two laps in under a minute. 725 00:30:28,660 --> 00:30:30,239 - 50 bucks says I can do three. 726 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:31,829 - Let's do it. Jane, time us. 727 00:30:31,830 --> 00:30:33,249 - Oh, I'm actually having fun just-- 728 00:30:33,250 --> 00:30:36,039 BOTH: Jane. - Okay, fun. Yeah. 729 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:37,829 No problem. 730 00:30:37,830 --> 00:30:40,250 ♪ tense music ♪ 731 00:30:41,380 --> 00:30:42,380 JANE: Ready? 732 00:30:43,420 --> 00:30:45,379 Set. 733 00:30:45,380 --> 00:30:46,680 Go. - [BOTH GRUNT] 734 00:30:49,220 --> 00:30:50,220 - [CHUCKLES] 735 00:30:51,220 --> 00:30:52,639 - Move! - No! 736 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,480 - I love it when they do this. 737 00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:57,019 ERIC: What are they doing? - They're racing. 738 00:30:57,020 --> 00:30:58,309 - Ah, yeah. 739 00:30:58,310 --> 00:31:01,109 - Jane, time! - Oh, I forgot to press start. 740 00:31:01,110 --> 00:31:03,109 How long do you guys think-- - Don't-don't tell them that. 741 00:31:03,110 --> 00:31:04,739 - You need to take a break yet, Sloane? 742 00:31:04,740 --> 00:31:05,859 - Huh, maybe you should just 743 00:31:05,860 --> 00:31:07,490 worry about yourself. - Oh, yeah? 744 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:09,739 [YELPS] - [MAN GRUNTS] 745 00:31:09,740 --> 00:31:10,989 - Oh! - Ooh. 746 00:31:10,990 --> 00:31:12,289 - [CHUCKLES] 747 00:31:12,290 --> 00:31:14,249 [YELPS, SCREAMS] - [MAN GRUNTS] 748 00:31:14,250 --> 00:31:15,709 - Mm. - Ow. 749 00:31:15,710 --> 00:31:17,039 ABBY: Should we stop them? 750 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,249 ERIC: No, they'll tire themselves out eventually. 751 00:31:19,250 --> 00:31:20,289 - [LAUGHING] Yeah. That's right. 752 00:31:20,290 --> 00:31:21,459 - That's the way it goes. HARPER: Whoo! 753 00:31:21,460 --> 00:31:22,879 Get off me! 754 00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:24,299 - I love you guys. I love you. 755 00:31:24,300 --> 00:31:25,759 HARPER: No! You're such a cheater! 756 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:27,679 - Stop it! [SHOUTS] - You stop it! 757 00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:29,009 - ...a little restless. - They're gonna need to turn around. 758 00:31:29,010 --> 00:31:30,599 - Look, some of us were here when you said to be here. 759 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,509 - Jane, is that-- That's what you're wearing, right? - Yeah. 760 00:31:32,510 --> 00:31:34,389 TIPPER: All right. Harper! 761 00:31:34,390 --> 00:31:36,769 Eric, can you make them be still? 762 00:31:36,770 --> 00:31:38,599 - Wow. 763 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,359 - It's my early Christmas present. 764 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,519 TIPPER: Harper, please come here. 765 00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:43,779 - Honey, we're very late. 766 00:31:43,780 --> 00:31:45,739 - Ted, the family holiday photo 767 00:31:45,740 --> 00:31:48,159 is an essential element of every candidate's feed, 768 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,989 and if we cannot manage to post one, 769 00:31:50,990 --> 00:31:53,699 we do not deserve to have that account at all. 770 00:31:53,700 --> 00:31:55,039 TED: All right. Up, up, up, kids. - That is so true. 771 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:56,249 TIPPER: Jane, get out of the middle. - Come on, Matilda. 772 00:31:56,250 --> 00:31:57,619 - Oh. SLOANE: You have to stand, honey. 773 00:31:57,620 --> 00:31:59,579 TIPPER: Abby, would you mind taking that? 774 00:31:59,580 --> 00:32:01,249 - Yeah, not at all. - Oh, thank you. 775 00:32:01,250 --> 00:32:04,049 - Okay, here we go. Here we go. - Around and face this way. 776 00:32:04,050 --> 00:32:05,459 Thank you. - Okay. 777 00:32:05,460 --> 00:32:07,799 - Everyone say, "Christmas." 778 00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:09,219 - No, don't say that. 779 00:32:09,220 --> 00:32:10,549 Just smile. 780 00:32:10,550 --> 00:32:12,549 [CAMERA CLICKING] 781 00:32:12,550 --> 00:32:14,259 - Okay. - [TIPPER CHUCKLING] 782 00:32:14,260 --> 00:32:16,309 Ah, good. I can't wait. 783 00:32:16,310 --> 00:32:19,229 Blurry. Boring. 784 00:32:19,230 --> 00:32:20,939 Nope. Nope. Nope. 785 00:32:20,940 --> 00:32:22,859 Okay, none of these will do. 786 00:32:22,860 --> 00:32:25,729 Uh, we will try again tomorrow. 787 00:32:25,730 --> 00:32:27,819 Thank you. HARPER: Where's Abby? 788 00:32:27,820 --> 00:32:29,820 ♪ upbeat holiday music ♪ 789 00:32:31,870 --> 00:32:33,870 - [QUIET CHATTER] 790 00:32:46,210 --> 00:32:48,589 - Ted, Tipper. [LAUGHS, SQUEALS] 791 00:32:48,590 --> 00:32:50,679 Oh, I'm so glad you made it. 792 00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:52,889 Oh, mwah. Oh. - Carolyn, you are a vision. 793 00:32:52,890 --> 00:32:54,679 TIPPER: Gorgeous dress. TED: Mwah. 794 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,269 Uh, you remember my daughters Harper, Jane and Sloane. 795 00:32:57,270 --> 00:32:58,519 Sloane's husband Eric. 796 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:00,519 Their children Matilda and Magnus. 797 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,849 And this is Harper's friend Abby. 798 00:33:02,850 --> 00:33:05,149 CAROLYN: Charmed. This is my assistant Levi. 799 00:33:05,150 --> 00:33:08,779 Though, truth be told, in a few years, we'll probably all be working for him. 800 00:33:08,780 --> 00:33:10,319 - [LAUGHS] Oh, you're too kind. 801 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:11,819 - Oh. - Is the white whale here? 802 00:33:11,820 --> 00:33:13,239 Ah, indeed. Let me take you over. 803 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:15,369 - Oh, Harper, come with us. 804 00:33:15,370 --> 00:33:16,789 Uh, Jane, uh, uh, keep Abby company. 805 00:33:16,790 --> 00:33:18,499 - You got it. - Dad, should I come, too? 806 00:33:18,500 --> 00:33:20,249 - I'll come right back. - Okay. TED: N-No, honey. 807 00:33:20,250 --> 00:33:22,329 Just, uh, enjoy yourself. - Great. 808 00:33:22,330 --> 00:33:23,709 CAROLYN: Now, Harry's tough. 809 00:33:23,710 --> 00:33:24,959 Don't let her throw you. 810 00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:26,799 - I'm gonna take the twins to the kids' club. 811 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:28,129 Please order me several drinks. 812 00:33:28,130 --> 00:33:29,169 - Yeah. 813 00:33:29,170 --> 00:33:30,469 - Come on, you guys. 814 00:33:30,470 --> 00:33:32,049 Let's go play. 815 00:33:32,050 --> 00:33:34,179 JANE: Okay. Well... 816 00:33:34,180 --> 00:33:36,429 looks like it's just us ladies. 817 00:33:36,430 --> 00:33:38,849 Now, I don't know about you, but I am single 818 00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:41,440 and ready to mingle, so... 819 00:33:42,850 --> 00:33:45,109 CAROLYN: Harry. 820 00:33:45,110 --> 00:33:47,769 This is-- - Ted Caldwell. 821 00:33:47,770 --> 00:33:50,029 - Ms. Levin, it is an honor. - [HARRY CHUCKLES] 822 00:33:50,030 --> 00:33:51,819 - I am gonna leave you two to get acquainted. 823 00:33:51,820 --> 00:33:52,949 - Okay. Thank you. 824 00:33:52,950 --> 00:33:54,609 This is my husband Scott. 825 00:33:54,610 --> 00:33:56,659 We met on Bumble. [CHUCKLES] TED: Pleasure. 826 00:33:56,660 --> 00:33:58,289 And, uh, this is my wife Tipper. 827 00:33:58,290 --> 00:33:59,999 My daughter Harper, who writes for the-- 828 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,409 - Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. 829 00:34:01,410 --> 00:34:02,789 HARPER: Yes. - Yes, I'm familiar. 830 00:34:02,790 --> 00:34:04,289 - You've read her work? 831 00:34:04,290 --> 00:34:06,250 - Yes. 832 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:11,259 ♪ lively jazz music ♪ 833 00:34:11,260 --> 00:34:13,929 - Hey, could I get a vodka neat? 834 00:34:13,930 --> 00:34:15,640 Thanks. 835 00:34:19,010 --> 00:34:20,020 - You're new. 836 00:34:21,770 --> 00:34:24,849 - Yeah, I'm just visiting. - From where? 837 00:34:24,850 --> 00:34:27,019 - I'm really not interested in meeting anyone tonight, so-- 838 00:34:27,020 --> 00:34:28,320 - I am. 839 00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,359 CAROLYN: Oh, I'll have to check out Goop. 840 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,359 Was that-- When was that one, again? 841 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:36,660 - [QUIET, INDISTINCT CHATTER] 842 00:34:48,420 --> 00:34:50,049 - Are you enjoying the party? 843 00:34:50,050 --> 00:34:52,209 - Yeah. 844 00:34:52,210 --> 00:34:53,839 SLOANE: That's great. 845 00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:56,719 If my friend ditched me at a party where I didn't know anyone, 846 00:34:56,720 --> 00:34:58,509 I probably wouldn't have a good time. 847 00:34:58,510 --> 00:34:59,679 - Oh, no, sh-she didn't ditch me. 848 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:00,969 No, she's just helping your dad. 849 00:35:00,970 --> 00:35:03,270 - Yeah, she's very helpful. 850 00:35:04,770 --> 00:35:07,479 So, how long have you and Harper been roommates? 851 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,729 - I moved in like six months ago. 852 00:35:09,730 --> 00:35:11,319 - You moved in to her place? 853 00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:12,439 - Mm-hmm. 854 00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:14,279 - Isn't it a one-bedroom? 855 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:15,989 - Technically, yes. 856 00:35:15,990 --> 00:35:17,449 Yeah, well, it was a one-bedroom, 857 00:35:17,450 --> 00:35:20,279 and-and now that we have converted the pantry 858 00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,989 i-into my bedroom, it's a two-bedroom. 859 00:35:22,990 --> 00:35:25,209 Um, it's really spacious in there, and it's-- 860 00:35:25,210 --> 00:35:27,079 - I don't want to have this conversation anymore. 861 00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:28,710 - No problem. 862 00:35:30,090 --> 00:35:32,129 - Being mayor is no small task. 863 00:35:32,130 --> 00:35:35,759 However, it's a task I am not only up for but eager to take on. 864 00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:37,379 HARRY: I'm gonna stop you right there. 865 00:35:37,380 --> 00:35:39,299 I have a perfect record. 866 00:35:39,300 --> 00:35:40,719 And do you know why? 867 00:35:40,720 --> 00:35:42,509 Because I do my homework. 868 00:35:42,510 --> 00:35:44,519 Last election, I almost backed Dave Grady. 869 00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:46,769 - Dave Grady? Didn't his son-- 870 00:35:46,770 --> 00:35:48,649 - Get arrested for exotic animal smuggling? 871 00:35:48,650 --> 00:35:49,769 Yes. 872 00:35:49,770 --> 00:35:54,109 I'm telling you this because I'm not just looking at you. 873 00:35:54,110 --> 00:35:55,439 This is a family affair. 874 00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:57,529 - Well, I can assure you, 875 00:35:57,530 --> 00:36:01,200 this family has nothing to hide. 876 00:36:03,990 --> 00:36:06,370 ♪ upbeat jazz music ♪ 877 00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:13,589 - Hey. - Hey. Hey. 878 00:36:13,590 --> 00:36:15,419 - Hi. Can I have a sip of your drink? 879 00:36:15,420 --> 00:36:17,420 - Yeah, of course. - Thank you. 880 00:36:18,720 --> 00:36:20,009 Mm. - You okay? 881 00:36:20,010 --> 00:36:21,219 - Mm-hmm. 882 00:36:21,220 --> 00:36:23,219 I just needed a bit of a breather. 883 00:36:23,220 --> 00:36:24,559 Thank you. 884 00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:25,809 KELLY: Harper? 885 00:36:25,810 --> 00:36:27,099 HARPER: Mm! - [SQUEALING] 886 00:36:27,100 --> 00:36:28,559 ASHLEY: Hi! 887 00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:29,939 - [LAUGHING] Hi. 888 00:36:29,940 --> 00:36:31,649 You look incredible. 889 00:36:31,650 --> 00:36:33,729 - As always. - Oh, my God. 890 00:36:33,730 --> 00:36:35,779 - [EXHALES SHARPLY] You, too. God, guys. 891 00:36:35,780 --> 00:36:38,779 Oh, um, this is my roommate Abby. 892 00:36:38,780 --> 00:36:40,739 And this is Kelly and Ashley. 893 00:36:40,740 --> 00:36:42,319 KELLY: Oh, lovely to meet you. - Yes. 894 00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:44,279 Nice to meet you, too. CONNOR: Hey, you guys. 895 00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:45,869 Wow. 896 00:36:45,870 --> 00:36:48,119 God, sorry, just seeing the three of you standing next to each other 897 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:49,659 takes me right back to high school. 898 00:36:49,660 --> 00:36:51,959 Minus the bad cafeteria food. 899 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:54,630 - [LAUGHING LOUDLY] 900 00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:57,669 You're so funny. 901 00:36:57,670 --> 00:36:59,509 - Uh, Harper, can I talk to you for a second? 902 00:36:59,510 --> 00:37:01,509 HARPER: Um, yeah. 903 00:37:01,510 --> 00:37:03,759 I'll just be a sec. 904 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:06,139 - Am I crazy, or did you have absolutely no idea 905 00:37:06,140 --> 00:37:07,639 I was coming to dinner last night? 906 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:09,559 - It was a surprise. - Yeah. 907 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,189 Yeah, I thought so. 908 00:37:11,190 --> 00:37:13,939 Um, sorry about that. - It's not you. 909 00:37:13,940 --> 00:37:16,319 - But, actually, I'd love to do... that again. 910 00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:19,109 Like, hang out again, if you got time. 911 00:37:19,110 --> 00:37:22,529 - That sounds so nice, and, um... 912 00:37:22,530 --> 00:37:26,029 and I just don't know, uh, 'cause it's so busy and-- 913 00:37:26,030 --> 00:37:27,079 - Yeah. Totally got it. HARPER: Mm-hmm. 914 00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:28,119 - No pressure. HARPER: Yeah. 915 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:30,459 - But that being said, if you, you know, 916 00:37:30,460 --> 00:37:32,959 and-and your roommate want to get out and hang out, 917 00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:34,379 that'd be great. - Abby. Yeah. 918 00:37:34,380 --> 00:37:36,039 CONNOR: Abby. Yeah. Absolutely. 919 00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:38,799 - Hey, if she doesn't sleep with him, then I will. 920 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,839 [GIGGLING] 921 00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:44,259 I'm just kidding. I would never. 922 00:37:44,260 --> 00:37:46,639 - He's definitely still into her. 923 00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:48,259 - I know. 924 00:37:48,260 --> 00:37:50,270 [CELL PHONE VIBRATING] 925 00:37:51,390 --> 00:37:53,519 - [SIGHS] I should... 926 00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:55,479 take this. 927 00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:56,649 Hello? 928 00:37:56,650 --> 00:37:58,069 JOHN: Did you know that you're standing 929 00:37:58,070 --> 00:37:59,899 in a country club that didn't let women have 930 00:37:59,900 --> 00:38:02,239 their own memberships until the early 2000s? 931 00:38:02,240 --> 00:38:03,909 - How do you know that? 932 00:38:03,910 --> 00:38:05,869 - Um, I might be tracking you, 933 00:38:05,870 --> 00:38:07,869 but it's for your own safety, clearly. 934 00:38:07,870 --> 00:38:08,870 - What-what do you want? 935 00:38:08,871 --> 00:38:11,619 - I want you to break out of that closet. [CAMERA CLICKS] 936 00:38:11,620 --> 00:38:13,079 - I am not in the closet. 937 00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:14,669 I told you, Harper's gonna tell her parents everything 938 00:38:14,670 --> 00:38:15,670 right after the holidays. 939 00:38:15,671 --> 00:38:17,589 - You deserve to be with someone 940 00:38:17,590 --> 00:38:21,089 who shouts their love for you from the rooftops. 941 00:38:21,090 --> 00:38:22,509 - That's very sweet. [TOILET FLUSHES OVER PHONE] 942 00:38:22,510 --> 00:38:24,219 - So stop being a doormat, you fool. 943 00:38:24,220 --> 00:38:26,469 - Did you need something, or did you just call to shame me? 944 00:38:26,470 --> 00:38:27,759 - I'm not shaming you. 945 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:29,059 I just think the choice you're making is dumb 946 00:38:29,060 --> 00:38:30,639 and you should feel bad about it and yourself. 947 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:33,640 Also, I am loving these fish. 948 00:38:34,690 --> 00:38:38,019 If I wanted to buy the exact same one for myself, 949 00:38:38,020 --> 00:38:40,779 where-where do you think I would do that? 950 00:38:40,780 --> 00:38:41,989 - What? 951 00:38:41,990 --> 00:38:43,819 JOHN: You know what, I think I should google it. 952 00:38:43,820 --> 00:38:45,110 I'm gonna google it. Thanks. 953 00:38:51,950 --> 00:38:53,619 - Hey. 954 00:38:53,620 --> 00:38:55,750 - Oh, hey. Hey. 955 00:39:00,460 --> 00:39:02,509 - How's it going? - Great. 956 00:39:02,510 --> 00:39:08,009 - I was just taking a break from diagnosing everyone's mystery illnesses. 957 00:39:08,010 --> 00:39:09,759 - [ABBY CHUCKLES] 958 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,309 - Hey, I wasn't trying to eavesdrop or anything. 959 00:39:12,310 --> 00:39:14,429 I was out there before you came out. 960 00:39:14,430 --> 00:39:17,100 You didn't see me, but, um... 961 00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,859 I can relate. 962 00:39:20,860 --> 00:39:22,860 - Like, to what? 963 00:39:27,030 --> 00:39:28,279 - Nothing. 964 00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:29,369 [CLEARS THROAT] 965 00:39:29,370 --> 00:39:31,079 Nothing. [INHALES DEEPLY] 966 00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:33,200 [SIGHS] Okay. I'm gonna go back inside. 967 00:39:34,580 --> 00:39:38,999 I'm sure my mother's hairdresser wants to show me her weird finger again. 968 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,000 - [CHUCKLES] - So... 969 00:39:42,130 --> 00:39:43,880 I like your jacket. [SIGHS] 970 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,180 Okay. [SHIVERS] 971 00:39:49,300 --> 00:39:52,559 [APPLAUSE, CHEERING] - Thank you. Thank you so much. 972 00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:55,889 Will you all please join me in welcoming 973 00:39:55,890 --> 00:40:00,519 my dear, dear friend, Councilman Ted Caldwell. 974 00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:02,320 - [CHEERING] 975 00:40:04,070 --> 00:40:06,109 TED: Thank you so much. Thank you. 976 00:40:06,110 --> 00:40:08,029 Isn't this the best time of year? 977 00:40:08,030 --> 00:40:09,489 I mean, really. 978 00:40:09,490 --> 00:40:11,449 I know we're all having a great time tonight, 979 00:40:11,450 --> 00:40:13,279 so I will be brief. 980 00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,659 I've accomplished a lot in my life, 981 00:40:15,660 --> 00:40:18,079 and serving you on the city council 982 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:22,839 is right up there with my most rewarding life experiences. 983 00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,129 But I'm ready for more. 984 00:40:25,130 --> 00:40:26,339 - [CHEERING] 985 00:40:26,340 --> 00:40:29,299 TED: These are turbulent times, 986 00:40:29,300 --> 00:40:33,349 and the way I can ensure depravity doesn't seep in 987 00:40:33,350 --> 00:40:35,929 through the cracks of our community 988 00:40:35,930 --> 00:40:40,019 is by making sure there are no cracks. 989 00:40:40,020 --> 00:40:42,020 - [CHEERING] - No cracks! 990 00:40:44,270 --> 00:40:48,739 TED: Look, our foundation is built on family, tradition and faith, 991 00:40:48,740 --> 00:40:54,199 and that is the only way we will keep safe and strong. 992 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,289 I have loved being your city councilman, 993 00:40:56,290 --> 00:40:58,449 and I can't wait to be your mayor. 994 00:40:58,450 --> 00:40:59,749 Merry Christmas. 995 00:40:59,750 --> 00:41:01,539 - [CHEERING] 996 00:41:01,540 --> 00:41:03,540 [CAMERA CLICKING RAPIDLY] 997 00:41:05,710 --> 00:41:07,710 ♪ holiday music ♪ 998 00:41:14,140 --> 00:41:15,390 [CELL PHONE CHIMES] 999 00:41:25,060 --> 00:41:27,279 [CAMERA CLICKS] 1000 00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:28,940 [PHONE CHIMES] 1001 00:41:32,820 --> 00:41:34,450 [PHONE CHIMES] 1002 00:41:40,910 --> 00:41:43,000 - [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] 1003 00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:47,049 [ON VIDEO] TED: ...the way I can ensure depravity 1004 00:41:47,050 --> 00:41:50,299 doesn't seep in through the cracks of our community 1005 00:41:50,300 --> 00:41:53,469 is by making sure there are no cracks. 1006 00:41:53,470 --> 00:41:56,389 - [CHEERING ON VIDEO] 1007 00:41:56,390 --> 00:41:57,969 [DISTANT DOOR CLOSES] 1008 00:41:57,970 --> 00:41:59,769 [ON VIDEO] TED: Look, our foundation is built 1009 00:41:59,770 --> 00:42:03,189 on family, tradition and faith, 1010 00:42:03,190 --> 00:42:08,270 and that is the only way we will keep safe and strong. 1011 00:42:11,780 --> 00:42:13,780 [TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY] 1012 00:42:15,950 --> 00:42:17,739 [ON TV] MAN: Um, for the chicken breast, 1013 00:42:17,740 --> 00:42:21,999 we were looking at a quarter cup of honey, and remember to use local honey... 1014 00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,370 [FOOTSTEPS] [TV CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY] 1015 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:35,129 - [SIGHS] 1016 00:42:35,130 --> 00:42:36,680 [FOOTSTEPS PASSING] 1017 00:42:39,260 --> 00:42:40,810 [PHONE CHIMES] 1018 00:42:44,060 --> 00:42:45,270 - [GASPS] 1019 00:42:47,150 --> 00:42:49,109 - Whoa. [WHIRRING] 1020 00:42:49,110 --> 00:42:50,230 Shit. Shit! 1021 00:42:51,070 --> 00:42:52,569 Come on. Come on. 1022 00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:54,650 Nope. Shut up, shut up. Oh, no. 1023 00:42:56,780 --> 00:42:59,029 [CLATTERING] 1024 00:42:59,030 --> 00:43:00,539 Oh! - [SCREAMS] 1025 00:43:00,540 --> 00:43:04,209 Abby, what are you doing in the closet? 1026 00:43:04,210 --> 00:43:07,499 - I-- Well, I guess I must have been sleepwalking. 1027 00:43:07,500 --> 00:43:09,499 - Oh, that is very dangerous. 1028 00:43:09,500 --> 00:43:11,499 I once took too many Ambien, 1029 00:43:11,500 --> 00:43:13,629 and I bought a racehorse online. 1030 00:43:13,630 --> 00:43:15,009 ABBY: Oh. TIPPER: Okay. 1031 00:43:15,010 --> 00:43:16,589 You need to go back downstairs, Abby. 1032 00:43:16,590 --> 00:43:18,089 - Okay. - Carefully. 1033 00:43:18,090 --> 00:43:19,549 ABBY: Yeah, uh-- - Are you all right to do that? 1034 00:43:19,550 --> 00:43:21,259 ABBY: Yeah. Oh, gosh, my phone, too. 1035 00:43:21,260 --> 00:43:23,809 God, I-I was in such a daze. TIPPER: I'll get all this. 1036 00:43:23,810 --> 00:43:24,849 ABBY: Okay. - Go on. 1037 00:43:24,850 --> 00:43:25,850 ABBY: Um, I-I was-- 1038 00:43:25,851 --> 00:43:27,399 - Do you want me to come with you? 1039 00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:28,479 ABBY: No, thank you. 1040 00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:29,610 I'm sorry about this. 1041 00:43:31,230 --> 00:43:32,609 [GASPS] - [HARPER GROWLS PLAYFULLY] 1042 00:43:32,610 --> 00:43:35,109 - Oh, my God. [LAUGHS] 1043 00:43:35,110 --> 00:43:37,409 How did you get down here? 1044 00:43:37,410 --> 00:43:39,369 - When I saw that mess upstairs, 1045 00:43:39,370 --> 00:43:41,869 I knew my mom would be busy for the next two hours. 1046 00:43:41,870 --> 00:43:43,539 - What do you want to do for two hours? 1047 00:43:43,540 --> 00:43:45,500 - I don't know. - Hmm. 1048 00:43:53,550 --> 00:43:55,550 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 1049 00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:07,100 HARPER: Mm. 1050 00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:10,309 [FOOTSTEPS IN HALL] 1051 00:44:10,310 --> 00:44:12,319 [KNOCKING] - [BOTH GASP] 1052 00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:14,279 TIPPER: Abby? - Shit. 1053 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:15,689 Fuck. 1054 00:44:15,690 --> 00:44:17,149 TIPPER: Abby, honey, are you okay? 1055 00:44:17,150 --> 00:44:19,109 Uh-huh. I'm-I'm-I'm okay. 1056 00:44:19,110 --> 00:44:21,029 - [WHISPERS] I can't believe I fell asleep. 1057 00:44:21,030 --> 00:44:23,789 TIPPER: Um, I think there's something against the door. 1058 00:44:23,790 --> 00:44:25,789 ABBY: Um, I'm just moving it right now. 1059 00:44:25,790 --> 00:44:27,000 Sorry. It's heavy. 1060 00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:29,119 Morning. 1061 00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:31,079 - Why did you block the door? 1062 00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,590 - I-I didn't want to sleepwalk again. 1063 00:44:35,090 --> 00:44:37,259 - Well, sorry to barge in. 1064 00:44:37,260 --> 00:44:39,379 The twins usually stay down here. 1065 00:44:39,380 --> 00:44:41,299 I'm just getting them Jane's old Game Boy. 1066 00:44:41,300 --> 00:44:42,429 - Morning, kids. 1067 00:44:42,430 --> 00:44:44,599 - Morning. TED: Abby. 1068 00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:46,889 Uh, honey, I'm headed to the office, but I wanted to let you know 1069 00:44:46,890 --> 00:44:50,520 I have invited Harry Levin and her husband to our Christmas Eve party. 1070 00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:52,609 - What? 1071 00:44:52,610 --> 00:44:53,689 TED: Well, you heard what she said. 1072 00:44:53,690 --> 00:44:56,609 - [TIPPER SIGHS] TED: It's not just about me. 1073 00:44:56,610 --> 00:44:58,439 It's about our whole family. 1074 00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:01,029 And what is a better representation of our family 1075 00:45:01,030 --> 00:45:04,330 than your Christmas Eve party? 1076 00:45:05,370 --> 00:45:07,200 - It is legendary. 1077 00:45:08,700 --> 00:45:09,959 TED: Mwah! - [TIPPER SIGHS] 1078 00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:11,869 TED: Have a good day. - You know I will. 1079 00:45:11,870 --> 00:45:13,129 TIPPER: Can't even believe that. 1080 00:45:13,130 --> 00:45:15,289 That is two more people on the guest list. 1081 00:45:15,290 --> 00:45:18,049 I basically have to reimagine the entire party. 1082 00:45:18,050 --> 00:45:19,719 - [SIGHS] Man. 1083 00:45:19,720 --> 00:45:21,339 - Found it. 1084 00:45:21,340 --> 00:45:23,929 Okay, come on, you two. 1085 00:45:23,930 --> 00:45:25,850 Let's look at it. 1086 00:45:28,180 --> 00:45:29,929 - [WHISPERS] That was very, very close. 1087 00:45:29,930 --> 00:45:31,439 - We shouldn't have done that. 1088 00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:34,559 - Harper, we've been up since 5:45 a.m... - This is the last batch. 1089 00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:36,899 - ...and the twins already made their own batch of cookies 1090 00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:38,069 and decorated them. - No. 1091 00:45:38,070 --> 00:45:40,899 SLOANE: We're making these for the party. 1092 00:45:40,900 --> 00:45:42,159 - Okay, I'm off. 1093 00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:43,569 - What? Where are you going? 1094 00:45:43,570 --> 00:45:45,489 - Uh, Levi has a connection with a local potpourri vendor. 1095 00:45:45,490 --> 00:45:46,699 He's gonna introduce us. 1096 00:45:46,700 --> 00:45:48,369 - Great. Right. ERIC: Yeah. 1097 00:45:48,370 --> 00:45:49,370 Bye, babe. 1098 00:45:49,371 --> 00:45:50,539 TIPPER: It just runs everywhere. 1099 00:45:50,540 --> 00:45:51,619 - Bye, kids. - That's right. That's right. 1100 00:45:51,620 --> 00:45:52,789 KIDS: Bye, Daddy. 1101 00:45:52,790 --> 00:45:53,999 - Jane. Oh, my God. 1102 00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:55,499 - I'm just gonna do a button. Can I-- - No, no. 1103 00:45:55,500 --> 00:45:56,999 - You can't decorate these. - But they have buttons. 1104 00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,709 - And can you not? I'm trying to have an even number. 1105 00:45:58,710 --> 00:46:00,339 - Mommy, when are we gonna see Santa? 1106 00:46:00,340 --> 00:46:01,799 - Honey, I don't know if we're gonna have time 1107 00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:03,679 to see him this year. Jane, can you not? I just-- 1108 00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:05,509 - Oh, take them to see Santa Claus. 1109 00:46:05,510 --> 00:46:07,809 This could be the last year that they see him. 1110 00:46:07,810 --> 00:46:09,099 - Why? Is Santa dying? 1111 00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:10,809 - No. - Are we dying? 1112 00:46:10,810 --> 00:46:13,099 - No. Fine, I will take you. 1113 00:46:13,100 --> 00:46:15,269 I still need to get a white elephant gift anyway. 1114 00:46:15,270 --> 00:46:17,609 Did you guys get yours? - Yes. 1115 00:46:17,610 --> 00:46:20,229 - [CHUCKLES] Yeah, I'm making something very special. 1116 00:46:20,230 --> 00:46:21,609 - Uh, what is white elephant? 1117 00:46:21,610 --> 00:46:23,529 TIPPER: Oh, it's a gift exchange game we do 1118 00:46:23,530 --> 00:46:25,949 every year at our Christmas Eve party. - Oh. 1119 00:46:25,950 --> 00:46:27,909 - And I guess you don't know what it is 1120 00:46:27,910 --> 00:46:30,449 because Harper forgot to tell you about it. 1121 00:46:30,450 --> 00:46:32,369 - I'm sorry. - That's okay. 1122 00:46:32,370 --> 00:46:33,789 I-I can run out and grab one today. 1123 00:46:33,790 --> 00:46:37,629 - Great. So, you girls can tag along with Sloane to the mall. 1124 00:46:37,630 --> 00:46:40,169 - Oh. Actually, I told Dad that I'd go to his office 1125 00:46:40,170 --> 00:46:42,419 and help him write his speech for Carolyn's dinner tonight. 1126 00:46:42,420 --> 00:46:44,339 - Yeah, I wish I could go, 1127 00:46:44,340 --> 00:46:46,139 but, um, I have to put the finishing touches 1128 00:46:46,140 --> 00:46:48,349 on my Christmas gifts. 1129 00:46:48,350 --> 00:46:50,219 - Guess it's just gonna be you and me. Fun. 1130 00:46:50,220 --> 00:46:52,179 TIPPER: Well, just make sure you're all back here by 4:00. 1131 00:46:52,180 --> 00:46:53,559 - That's okay? 1132 00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:56,559 - We are going to get that Christmas photo tonight 1133 00:46:56,560 --> 00:46:57,859 before we leave for dinner. 1134 00:46:57,860 --> 00:46:59,019 - Yes. - Yes. 1135 00:46:59,020 --> 00:47:01,030 ♪ holiday music playing over speakers ♪ 1136 00:47:09,620 --> 00:47:11,289 - Oh. Hey. 1137 00:47:11,290 --> 00:47:13,999 Hey. Can you watch them for a bit? 1138 00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:16,119 I have to run an errand. Um, Santa promised them 1139 00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:19,339 [HUSHED] the complete works of Sylvia Plath, so... 1140 00:47:19,340 --> 00:47:20,629 Is that all right? 1141 00:47:20,630 --> 00:47:21,749 - Yeah. 1142 00:47:21,750 --> 00:47:23,259 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1143 00:47:23,260 --> 00:47:25,009 - Okay. Thank you. 1144 00:47:25,010 --> 00:47:27,089 Be good, you two. 1145 00:47:27,090 --> 00:47:30,049 ♪ playful holiday music ♪ 1146 00:47:30,050 --> 00:47:34,139 - Hi, guys. Do you, um, want to come over-- 1147 00:47:34,140 --> 00:47:35,559 Want to-- Come on. 1148 00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:37,939 [♪♪♪] 1149 00:47:37,940 --> 00:47:39,480 [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] 1150 00:47:41,860 --> 00:47:44,690 - Why was Aunt Harper hiding in your room this morning? 1151 00:47:45,740 --> 00:47:48,279 - Uh, we were playing a game. 1152 00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:49,949 - Like hide-and-seek? 1153 00:47:49,950 --> 00:47:51,579 - Yeah, like hide-and-seek. 1154 00:47:51,580 --> 00:47:53,159 MAGNUS: We love that game. 1155 00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:55,159 - What do you guys think about this white elephant game? 1156 00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:56,999 What gift should I get? Can you help me? 1157 00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:58,749 - How about this? 1158 00:47:58,750 --> 00:48:00,379 - That is nice. 1159 00:48:00,380 --> 00:48:03,709 I was thinking maybe something everyone might like. 1160 00:48:03,710 --> 00:48:05,589 Like, um... 1161 00:48:05,590 --> 00:48:08,259 I don't know, a scarf might be good, actually. 1162 00:48:08,260 --> 00:48:10,679 Someone might want to have that. 1163 00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:13,100 Seems Christmassy. 1164 00:48:14,720 --> 00:48:16,559 Oh. 1165 00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,389 Hey, come on. Um... 1166 00:48:18,390 --> 00:48:20,349 Hey, Carolyn. 1167 00:48:20,350 --> 00:48:21,860 Hey, it's good to see you. 1168 00:48:23,190 --> 00:48:25,189 I'm Abby. We met last night. 1169 00:48:25,190 --> 00:48:27,189 I'm Harper Caldwell's friend. 1170 00:48:27,190 --> 00:48:29,699 - [GASPS] Oh! Oh, yes. 1171 00:48:29,700 --> 00:48:31,949 [CHUCKLING] Yes, of course. 1172 00:48:31,950 --> 00:48:33,240 Mm. 1173 00:48:34,740 --> 00:48:37,290 It's lovely seeing you. 1174 00:48:38,330 --> 00:48:40,530 - Hey, I'm-I'm really looking forward to dinner tonight. 1175 00:48:41,380 --> 00:48:43,420 - Okay. - Okay. 1176 00:48:46,420 --> 00:48:48,299 Have-have a nice day. I'll see you later. 1177 00:48:48,300 --> 00:48:50,339 [ALARM BLARING] CRYSTAL: Hey! Ma'am! 1178 00:48:50,340 --> 00:48:51,759 ED: Oh, ma'am! CRYSTAL: Ma'am, we're gonna stop you right there. 1179 00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:53,799 ED: Ma'am, put the bag on the floor. - Okay. 1180 00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:54,969 CRYSTAL: Miss, put it down. ED: Ma'am! 1181 00:48:54,970 --> 00:48:57,559 Put the bag on the floor and slide it to me. 1182 00:48:57,560 --> 00:48:58,889 You want to explain that? ABBY: A-As I've said, 1183 00:48:58,890 --> 00:49:01,349 I did not put that in my bag. There might-- 1184 00:49:01,350 --> 00:49:03,359 - Oh, you didn't put it in your bag... - Oh. 1185 00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:06,479 - ...but it ended up in your bag, so this is probably just a big misunderstanding. 1186 00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:08,989 - Maybe it grew legs and then it walked into her bag. 1187 00:49:08,990 --> 00:49:10,529 - [STAMMERS] CRYSTAL: Did you check it for legs, or-- 1188 00:49:10,530 --> 00:49:11,859 - I haven't checked it for legs. - You haven't done that. 1189 00:49:11,860 --> 00:49:13,779 - I'm not suggesting that it grew legs. 1190 00:49:13,780 --> 00:49:15,739 - It's not looking good, sweetie. 1191 00:49:15,740 --> 00:49:16,949 - Pittsburgh, huh? 1192 00:49:16,950 --> 00:49:18,249 - Yeah. 1193 00:49:18,250 --> 00:49:19,959 - What are you doing down this way? 1194 00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:21,329 - You pulling a job? 1195 00:49:21,330 --> 00:49:22,669 Jacking a roost? 1196 00:49:22,670 --> 00:49:24,289 - What was that? CRYSTAL: Yeah, hocking crank 1197 00:49:24,290 --> 00:49:25,629 and breaking bad? 1198 00:49:25,630 --> 00:49:27,669 - I'm not doing any of those things. ED: Smash and grab? 1199 00:49:27,670 --> 00:49:29,719 - I-I didn't take this necklace. CRYSTAL: Wow. 1200 00:49:29,720 --> 00:49:31,679 ABBY: I'm sure that you could review some footage. 1201 00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:32,680 Aren't there cameras in malls? 1202 00:49:32,681 --> 00:49:34,679 - Are you telling me how to do my job? ABBY: There are cameras everywhere. 1203 00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:35,889 CRYSTAL: You're gonna regret it. - No. 1204 00:49:35,890 --> 00:49:37,009 ED: You know what? Fine. - No, I'm not doing any-- 1205 00:49:37,010 --> 00:49:38,969 - Why don't you go ahead and do my job, hotshot? - Good freaking luck. 1206 00:49:38,970 --> 00:49:40,389 ED: You're in charge now. CRYSTAL: Yeah. 1207 00:49:40,390 --> 00:49:41,889 - Can you believe-- - No, I'm gonna get her to sing, okay? 1208 00:49:41,890 --> 00:49:43,649 ED: Go ahead. CRYSTAL: I'm gonna make this little birdie 1209 00:49:43,650 --> 00:49:45,900 go tweet, tweet, tweet, becau-- - Go ahead. 1210 00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:49,029 - Eugene. - [EUGENE STAMMERS] 1211 00:49:49,030 --> 00:49:50,439 - Goddamn it. We're-- - What are you-- 1212 00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:51,859 - I heard there were Cruffins in here. 1213 00:49:51,860 --> 00:49:52,949 - No. 1214 00:49:52,950 --> 00:49:54,409 - There aren't any Cruffins. 1215 00:49:54,410 --> 00:49:56,409 EUGENE: There's not, or there were? Were there? 1216 00:49:56,410 --> 00:49:58,409 CRYSTAL: No, we stopped keeping food in here. ED: No. 1217 00:49:58,410 --> 00:49:59,749 HARPER: Dad, Abby would never do this. 1218 00:49:59,750 --> 00:50:00,959 SLOANE: Go get ready quick, quick, quick, 1219 00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:02,119 because we're late now. 1220 00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:03,289 TED: This isn't a conversation, Harper. 1221 00:50:03,290 --> 00:50:04,290 HARPER: Please, Dad, just be-- 1222 00:50:04,291 --> 00:50:05,789 [HUSHED] TIPPER: Shh! Quiet. 1223 00:50:05,790 --> 00:50:07,419 HARPER: Okay. I'm sorry. TIPPER: Oh, I know. I know. 1224 00:50:07,420 --> 00:50:09,170 HARPER: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1225 00:50:14,510 --> 00:50:16,549 - I didn't do it. 1226 00:50:16,550 --> 00:50:17,889 - Baby, I know. 1227 00:50:17,890 --> 00:50:21,679 But Carolyn thinks it would just be better if you weren't at the dinner. 1228 00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:23,769 Look, it's gonna be so boring anyways. 1229 00:50:23,770 --> 00:50:25,399 You're lucky you don't have to go. 1230 00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:27,400 Come here. 1231 00:50:29,190 --> 00:50:31,439 [SIGHS] 1232 00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:35,109 Can we hang out tonight after the dinner? 1233 00:50:35,110 --> 00:50:37,579 My friends want to go out, and-and we can go with them 1234 00:50:37,580 --> 00:50:39,989 or we can not go with them, but... 1235 00:50:39,990 --> 00:50:42,619 I just think we-we need a break 1236 00:50:42,620 --> 00:50:44,709 from the family. 1237 00:50:44,710 --> 00:50:46,130 - Yeah, s-- [KNOCKING] 1238 00:50:47,710 --> 00:50:49,839 - Harper, we have got to go. 1239 00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:51,339 Come on, we're gonna be late. 1240 00:50:51,340 --> 00:50:53,049 - Okay. [SIGHS] 1241 00:50:53,050 --> 00:50:54,469 I'll see you later? ABBY: Mm-hmm. 1242 00:50:54,470 --> 00:50:55,589 - Okay. 1243 00:50:55,590 --> 00:50:56,929 I'm sorry. 1244 00:50:56,930 --> 00:50:59,349 TIPPER: We weren't able to get the photo again. 1245 00:50:59,350 --> 00:51:00,599 [DOOR CLOSES] 1246 00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:02,599 ["BLAME IT ON CHRISTMAS" BY SHEA DIAMOND PLAYING] 1247 00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:04,600 ♪ Blame it on Christmas ♪ 1248 00:51:06,020 --> 00:51:09,190 ♪ Why I'm out of control ♪ 1249 00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:14,359 ♪ Oh, give me forgiveness ♪ 1250 00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:17,870 ♪ For what's about to unfold ♪ 1251 00:51:19,660 --> 00:51:24,159 ♪ 'Cause I just can't keep my cool ♪ 1252 00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:28,499 ♪ While I'm tiding all of this yule ♪ 1253 00:51:28,500 --> 00:51:32,249 ♪ Blame it on, blame it on Christmas ♪ 1254 00:51:32,250 --> 00:51:34,840 ♪ Ooh, why I'm acting a fool. ♪ 1255 00:51:36,630 --> 00:51:37,799 - Hey. 1256 00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:39,849 - We meet again. 1257 00:51:39,850 --> 00:51:41,429 [CHUCKLES] ABBY: Yeah. 1258 00:51:41,430 --> 00:51:43,059 - No Harper? 1259 00:51:43,060 --> 00:51:45,889 - No, she's, um, with her family. 1260 00:51:45,890 --> 00:51:47,849 I-I'm gonna meet up with her in a bit. 1261 00:51:47,850 --> 00:51:49,309 What'd you get? 1262 00:51:49,310 --> 00:51:51,979 - Um... 1263 00:51:51,980 --> 00:51:56,029 Oh, I can't tell you, because it's for the white elephant party. 1264 00:51:56,030 --> 00:51:57,989 - Ah, you're going to that, too? 1265 00:51:57,990 --> 00:51:59,369 - Oh, yeah. 1266 00:51:59,370 --> 00:52:01,199 Yeah, my family goes every year. 1267 00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:03,119 It's, um... 1268 00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:05,199 God, it's the best party of the year. 1269 00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:07,459 - [LAUGHS] 1270 00:52:07,460 --> 00:52:10,039 You know, I'm-I'm glad I ran into you, 1271 00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:13,209 'cause I'm having this thing where if I stick my finger in my eye, 1272 00:52:13,210 --> 00:52:14,959 it, like, really hurts. 1273 00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:18,589 - Yeah, I mean, that's a classic case of, um, 1274 00:52:18,590 --> 00:52:20,849 contact stupiditis. 1275 00:52:20,850 --> 00:52:23,099 Um, because it's a stupid thing to do. 1276 00:52:23,100 --> 00:52:24,889 - [LAUGHS] Yep. - Once you get to 1277 00:52:24,890 --> 00:52:26,769 the finger-poking stage, you're-you're pretty much dead. 1278 00:52:26,770 --> 00:52:28,189 - [SIGHS] 1279 00:52:28,190 --> 00:52:31,519 I'd really like to drink some alcohol. 1280 00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:33,230 Do you know where I could do that? 1281 00:52:34,900 --> 00:52:36,570 - Yes. 1282 00:52:38,240 --> 00:52:40,489 - ♪ What is Christmas? ♪ 1283 00:52:40,490 --> 00:52:43,119 - ♪ Christmas is for caring ♪ - [SCATTERED LAUGHTER] 1284 00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:45,039 - ♪ What is Christmas? ♪ 1285 00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:47,789 - ♪ Christmas is for sharing ♪ 1286 00:52:47,790 --> 00:52:49,419 - ♪ What is Christmas? ♪ 1287 00:52:49,420 --> 00:52:52,249 ♪ Can't you guess? ♪ 1288 00:52:52,250 --> 00:52:55,379 - ♪ Christmas is for ha... ♪ 1289 00:52:55,380 --> 00:52:56,839 ♪ Penis ♪ 1290 00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:58,589 RILEY: Yes, you are. - I wish. 1291 00:52:58,590 --> 00:53:00,429 - Just tell me. - I wish I had a story, like-- 1292 00:53:00,430 --> 00:53:02,049 - Did you steal it? - No. 1293 00:53:02,050 --> 00:53:05,719 And I still don't have a white elephant gift, on top of it all. 1294 00:53:05,720 --> 00:53:07,809 - You've got to get one. - I'm trying. 1295 00:53:07,810 --> 00:53:09,389 - I will help you with this. 1296 00:53:09,390 --> 00:53:11,769 I know a lot of places that aren't malls. 1297 00:53:11,770 --> 00:53:13,059 - That would be great. 1298 00:53:13,060 --> 00:53:15,439 SINGERS: ♪ And when does Christmas come? ♪ 1299 00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:19,109 ♪ And when does Christmas leave? ♪ 1300 00:53:19,110 --> 00:53:23,699 - [LAUGHTER] SINGERS: ♪ It comes but never goes... ♪ 1301 00:53:23,700 --> 00:53:26,909 - What did you mean last night when you said you could relate? 1302 00:53:26,910 --> 00:53:30,119 - That was just a comment based on an assumption 1303 00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:33,040 that I was making about you and Harper. 1304 00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:38,710 - I think it's probably an accurate assumption. 1305 00:53:40,970 --> 00:53:43,139 You don't have to talk to me about this stuff. 1306 00:53:43,140 --> 00:53:44,509 I know it's weird, like-- 1307 00:53:44,510 --> 00:53:46,389 - So, what has she told you? 1308 00:53:46,390 --> 00:53:48,599 - That you dated in high school. 1309 00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:50,849 That you were her first girlfriend. 1310 00:53:50,850 --> 00:53:52,770 That's about it. 1311 00:53:54,150 --> 00:53:55,900 Is there more? RILEY: Mm-hmm. 1312 00:53:56,940 --> 00:53:57,940 Yeah, a little. 1313 00:54:00,900 --> 00:54:02,910 I mean... 1314 00:54:05,620 --> 00:54:07,619 Yeah. 1315 00:54:07,620 --> 00:54:10,119 Yeah, growing up, we were totally inseparable. 1316 00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:11,829 We were best friends. 1317 00:54:11,830 --> 00:54:15,000 And then, freshman year, we became more than friends. 1318 00:54:16,250 --> 00:54:18,250 We started dating. 1319 00:54:20,010 --> 00:54:23,429 But nobody knew that, obviously. 1320 00:54:23,430 --> 00:54:26,469 And we would, like, leave these little love letters 1321 00:54:26,470 --> 00:54:28,259 in-in each other's lockers. 1322 00:54:28,260 --> 00:54:31,389 And one day, one of Harper's friends found one of the letters, 1323 00:54:31,390 --> 00:54:34,689 and she asked Harper wh-what it was about, 1324 00:54:34,690 --> 00:54:39,479 and Harper basically just said that I am gay 1325 00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:41,319 and that I wouldn't leave her alone. 1326 00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:44,279 And then within a couple days, like, everybody in school found out, 1327 00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:47,320 and everybody was so awful to me. 1328 00:54:48,370 --> 00:54:50,410 - I'm sorry, that's-- I'm sorry. 1329 00:54:51,450 --> 00:54:54,539 - Yeah, so the thing that I can relate to is just 1330 00:54:54,540 --> 00:54:58,249 being in love with somebody that is... 1331 00:54:58,250 --> 00:55:01,050 too afraid to show the world who they are. 1332 00:55:07,970 --> 00:55:09,680 But that was a long time ago. 1333 00:55:10,720 --> 00:55:12,269 - Yeah. 1334 00:55:12,270 --> 00:55:14,269 [MUSIC ENDS] [CHEERING, APPLAUSE] 1335 00:55:14,270 --> 00:55:16,269 - Thank you! 1336 00:55:16,270 --> 00:55:19,020 All right, that's enough. 1337 00:55:20,070 --> 00:55:23,859 And with this next song, we're gonna need a little help from you. 1338 00:55:23,860 --> 00:55:26,449 - We're gonna ask you a... 1339 00:55:26,450 --> 00:55:28,069 - Question. - ...question. 1340 00:55:28,070 --> 00:55:30,329 And you are going to... 1341 00:55:30,330 --> 00:55:31,909 - Give us the answer. - ...answer. 1342 00:55:31,910 --> 00:55:34,039 - Yeah. - [LAUGHS] It's simple. 1343 00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:35,619 EM K. ULTRA: Here we go. 1344 00:55:35,620 --> 00:55:37,119 [APPLAUSE] 1345 00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:40,129 ♪ Who's got a beard that's long and white? ♪ 1346 00:55:40,130 --> 00:55:42,589 [PATRONS SINGING] We're gonna sing. Ready? - Mm-hmm. Yeah. 1347 00:55:42,590 --> 00:55:45,219 - ♪ Who comes around on a special night? ♪ 1348 00:55:45,220 --> 00:55:48,089 - ♪ Santa comes around on a special night ♪ 1349 00:55:48,090 --> 00:55:50,599 - ♪ Special night ♪ - ♪ Special night ♪ 1350 00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:53,559 - ♪ Beard that's white ♪ - ♪ Beard that's white ♪ 1351 00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:54,979 MISS L'TEAU: Everybody! - Whoa. 1352 00:55:54,980 --> 00:55:58,649 ALL: ♪ Must be Santa, must be Santa ♪ 1353 00:55:58,650 --> 00:56:01,149 ♪ Must be Santa ♪ 1354 00:56:01,150 --> 00:56:04,109 ♪ Santa Claus ♪ 1355 00:56:04,110 --> 00:56:05,899 - No. No, what? Oh, my God, no. - What? 1356 00:56:05,900 --> 00:56:07,859 - Oh, we're gonna get a little more intimate now. 1357 00:56:07,860 --> 00:56:09,199 RILEY: Yes! 1358 00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:11,579 - ♪ Who's got boots and a suit of red? ♪ 1359 00:56:11,580 --> 00:56:13,369 - [LAUGHS] - Oh... [LAUGHS] 1360 00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:15,999 Come on, you want to hear her sing, right? 1361 00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:19,669 MISS L'TEAU: Yeah. Yeah, we want to hear her sing. [CHEERING] 1362 00:56:19,670 --> 00:56:21,959 EM K. ULTRA: ♪ Who's got boots and a suit of red? ♪ - I'll help you. 1363 00:56:21,960 --> 00:56:24,669 ABBY & RILEY: ♪ Santa's got boots and a suit of red ♪ 1364 00:56:24,670 --> 00:56:27,259 EM K. ULTRA: Yeah, perfect! MISS L'TEAU: ♪ Who's got a long cap on his head? ♪ 1365 00:56:27,260 --> 00:56:30,009 ALL: ♪ Santa's got a long cap on his head ♪ 1366 00:56:30,010 --> 00:56:32,759 EM K. ULTRA: ♪ On his head ♪ OTHERS: ♪ On his head ♪ 1367 00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:35,679 SINGERS: ♪ Suit of red ♪ PATRONS: ♪ Suit of red ♪ 1368 00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:41,229 ALL: ♪ Must be Santa, must be Santa ♪ 1369 00:56:41,230 --> 00:56:43,609 ♪ Must be Santa ♪ 1370 00:56:43,610 --> 00:56:47,109 ♪ Santa Claus ♪ 1371 00:56:47,110 --> 00:56:49,319 ♪ Must be Santa ♪ 1372 00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:52,069 ♪ Must be Santa ♪ [CELL PHONE CHIMES] 1373 00:56:52,070 --> 00:56:53,949 ♪ Must be Santa... ♪ 1374 00:56:53,950 --> 00:56:56,789 - Um, I should-- I should close out. 1375 00:56:56,790 --> 00:56:58,829 It's-- Harper texted me. 1376 00:56:58,830 --> 00:57:01,169 - Oh. - Yes. 1377 00:57:01,170 --> 00:57:03,459 PATRONS: ♪ Santa's got a beard that's long... ♪ 1378 00:57:03,460 --> 00:57:06,169 ♪ lively dance music ♪ 1379 00:57:06,170 --> 00:57:07,549 ASHLEY: ...of the square. 1380 00:57:07,550 --> 00:57:09,169 The guy at the top of the square. 1381 00:57:09,170 --> 00:57:10,379 That's the business model. 1382 00:57:10,380 --> 00:57:12,009 It's brilliant. 1383 00:57:12,010 --> 00:57:14,049 - Hi. 1384 00:57:14,050 --> 00:57:15,559 - Oh, Abby's here. CONNOR: Shots, shots, shots. 1385 00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:17,599 You guys ready? - How was-- How was tonight? 1386 00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:19,139 - Shots! - Oh, shots. ABBY: It was great. It was good. 1387 00:57:19,140 --> 00:57:20,939 All right, I think I'm gonna grab a beer. ASHLEY: Shots, shots, shots, shots. 1388 00:57:20,940 --> 00:57:22,479 - No, no, no, no. CONNOR: No, Abby, Abby, hey. 1389 00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:23,609 Cannot be at this place sober. 1390 00:57:23,610 --> 00:57:24,819 It's a-- Ready? Cheers. ASHLEY & KELLY: Cheers. 1391 00:57:24,820 --> 00:57:26,149 - Eyes, eyes. - Eyes, eyes. 1392 00:57:26,150 --> 00:57:28,399 - Eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes. 1393 00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:29,530 CONNOR: One, two, three. Go. 1394 00:57:30,570 --> 00:57:32,529 [MUSIC ENDS] - Oh! 1395 00:57:32,530 --> 00:57:34,239 - Okay, I need some music. HARPER: Did you have dinner? 1396 00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:35,659 ASHLEY: Come, come, come, come, come. ABBY: Yeah. 1397 00:57:35,660 --> 00:57:37,490 - Wait. Okay, I'll come right back. 1398 00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:41,289 ♪ lively dance music ♪ 1399 00:57:41,290 --> 00:57:43,379 Are you having the most terrible time? 1400 00:57:43,380 --> 00:57:44,459 - No. 1401 00:57:44,460 --> 00:57:46,299 No, I'm-I'm just tired. 1402 00:57:46,300 --> 00:57:47,549 - Okay. - I'm really tired. 1403 00:57:47,550 --> 00:57:49,459 I think I'm gonna go. 1404 00:57:49,460 --> 00:57:51,009 - Oh, no. 1405 00:57:51,010 --> 00:57:52,509 Uh... 1406 00:57:52,510 --> 00:57:54,759 [SIGHS] I kind of want to stay a little bit longer. 1407 00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:56,680 Is that okay? 1408 00:57:59,140 --> 00:58:00,980 - [LAUGHTER] 1409 00:58:02,230 --> 00:58:04,099 - Yeah, you should-- Yes, of course. 1410 00:58:04,100 --> 00:58:05,359 Yeah. Yeah, I'm just-- - Yeah? 1411 00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:06,689 Are you sure? - Mm. 1412 00:58:06,690 --> 00:58:08,399 - Okay. 1413 00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:09,989 And you'll get home okay? 1414 00:58:09,990 --> 00:58:11,569 I won't be out late. 1415 00:58:11,570 --> 00:58:12,949 Okay. 1416 00:58:12,950 --> 00:58:15,699 Text me when you get home. 1417 00:58:15,700 --> 00:58:17,079 CONNOR: Hey. 1418 00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:18,239 How about you? 1419 00:58:18,240 --> 00:58:19,749 You won't. You won't. 1420 00:58:19,750 --> 00:58:22,290 She will. You won't. You won't. KELLY: You won't. 1421 00:58:47,980 --> 00:58:50,609 [OVER SPEAKERS] ♪ Hey ♪ 1422 00:58:50,610 --> 00:58:52,859 ♪ What are we doing? ♪ 1423 00:58:52,860 --> 00:58:55,109 - [QUIET CHATTER] 1424 00:58:55,110 --> 00:58:56,869 ♪ Don't you remem... ♪ 1425 00:58:56,870 --> 00:58:58,329 CONNOR: Well, that was fun. 1426 00:58:58,330 --> 00:59:00,079 HARPER: Whew. Yeah. 1427 00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:02,159 [CONNOR GROANS] [HARPER SIGHS] 1428 00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:04,579 - I'm glad you came out. - Yeah. 1429 00:59:04,580 --> 00:59:06,829 - It's been a minute, you know, since we've gotten to do this. 1430 00:59:06,830 --> 00:59:09,540 Like, since we-- 1431 00:59:10,590 --> 00:59:11,879 Well, you know. 1432 00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:13,969 I've missed you. 1433 00:59:13,970 --> 00:59:15,719 - No, it's nice to catch up. 1434 00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:17,179 - Yeah. 1435 00:59:17,180 --> 00:59:19,809 [TAKES DEEP BREATH] 1436 00:59:19,810 --> 00:59:22,099 - Well, I'm that way. 1437 00:59:22,100 --> 00:59:23,639 - Oh, darn. - Where are you? 1438 00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:25,139 - I'm that way. [LAUGHS] 1439 00:59:25,140 --> 00:59:26,649 - Good night. - Good night. 1440 00:59:26,650 --> 00:59:28,229 It was great seeing you. - [GRUNTS] 1441 00:59:28,230 --> 00:59:30,399 - [CLEARS THROAT] - [HARPER CHUCKLES] 1442 00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:32,229 - [SIGHS] 1443 00:59:32,230 --> 00:59:34,240 Hey, Harper, was there someone else? 1444 00:59:36,610 --> 00:59:38,030 - What do you mean? 1445 00:59:39,070 --> 00:59:41,120 - Is that why we broke up? 1446 00:59:42,160 --> 00:59:44,249 - No. 1447 00:59:44,250 --> 00:59:46,959 No, I mean, I-I told you that the long distance 1448 00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:48,789 just got too hard and-- 1449 00:59:48,790 --> 00:59:50,289 The distance. Yeah, I know, I know. 1450 00:59:50,290 --> 00:59:51,590 I know. 1451 00:59:52,630 --> 00:59:54,259 [SIGHS] 1452 00:59:54,260 --> 00:59:56,089 I don't know. Just... 1453 00:59:56,090 --> 00:59:58,970 kind of always felt like there was something... 1454 01:00:00,760 --> 01:00:04,020 Kind of felt like there was something you weren't telling me. 1455 01:00:11,150 --> 01:00:13,150 - There wasn't someone else. 1456 01:00:33,840 --> 01:00:35,260 [WHISPERS] ABBY: Hey. 1457 01:00:37,300 --> 01:00:39,299 - What's wrong? 1458 01:00:39,300 --> 01:00:40,639 - Just making sure you're okay. 1459 01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:42,259 - Why wouldn't I be? 1460 01:00:42,260 --> 01:00:44,849 - I don't know, you weren't answering me, so I was-- 1461 01:00:44,850 --> 01:00:47,889 - I-I know, but you-you knew I was out with my friends. 1462 01:00:47,890 --> 01:00:49,269 - Yeah, but, I mean, I didn't know that 1463 01:00:49,270 --> 01:00:50,979 you were gonna be out till 2:00 in the morning, 1464 01:00:50,980 --> 01:00:52,189 so I'm just checking on you. 1465 01:00:52,190 --> 01:00:54,479 - Okay. 1466 01:00:54,480 --> 01:00:56,779 [CHUCKLES] I'm sorry. I didn't know I had a curfew. 1467 01:00:56,780 --> 01:00:58,569 - What is going on with you? 1468 01:00:58,570 --> 01:01:00,569 - Nothing. I-- 1469 01:01:00,570 --> 01:01:02,279 Nothing. 1470 01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:06,119 I just don't know why you're keeping tabs on me. 1471 01:01:06,120 --> 01:01:08,079 - Keeping tabs on you? - Yeah. 1472 01:01:08,080 --> 01:01:09,709 It just-- 1473 01:01:09,710 --> 01:01:11,289 [SIGHS] 1474 01:01:11,290 --> 01:01:12,879 - What? 1475 01:01:12,880 --> 01:01:16,459 - It just feels a little... suffocating. 1476 01:01:16,460 --> 01:01:17,839 - I'm suffocating you? 1477 01:01:17,840 --> 01:01:19,839 - Or not, but just-- 1478 01:01:19,840 --> 01:01:21,799 - Well, I feel really suffocated in the closet 1479 01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:23,219 that you shoved me back into. - Shh! 1480 01:01:23,220 --> 01:01:24,679 [HUSHED] You agreed to this. 1481 01:01:24,680 --> 01:01:25,929 - Yeah, we were practically already here. 1482 01:01:25,930 --> 01:01:27,179 - Can you sh-- 1483 01:01:27,180 --> 01:01:28,599 Please be quiet. 1484 01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:30,600 - I was gonna-- I-- 1485 01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:34,649 If I knew that part of what I was agreeing to 1486 01:01:34,650 --> 01:01:36,689 was you hanging out with your ex-boyfriend all night, 1487 01:01:36,690 --> 01:01:39,690 maybe I wouldn't have. - [SIGHS] God, Abby. 1488 01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:45,329 I just-- I feel like we just need some space. 1489 01:01:45,330 --> 01:01:46,620 - You need some space? 1490 01:01:48,450 --> 01:01:50,250 Okay. 1491 01:01:51,420 --> 01:01:52,829 - Abby. 1492 01:01:52,830 --> 01:01:54,289 [FOOTSTEPS STOMPING] - Oh. 1493 01:01:54,290 --> 01:01:57,459 She is very heavy-footed. 1494 01:01:57,460 --> 01:02:02,469 Honey, I have a list of party errands that Jane has volunteered to run, 1495 01:02:02,470 --> 01:02:04,679 but I don't trust her to do them on her own, 1496 01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:07,139 so I need you to supervise. 1497 01:02:07,140 --> 01:02:09,060 - Okay. 1498 01:02:13,400 --> 01:02:15,560 - It's a long list. 1499 01:02:18,690 --> 01:02:20,489 [SIGHS] HARPER: Okay. 1500 01:02:20,490 --> 01:02:21,820 [GROANS] 1501 01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:33,750 ABBY: No, no. 1502 01:02:34,790 --> 01:02:36,080 [PHONE VIBRATING] 1503 01:02:38,210 --> 01:02:41,089 Hey. JOHN: Okay, so... 1504 01:02:41,090 --> 01:02:44,469 I might have been a little judgmental when we last spoke. 1505 01:02:44,470 --> 01:02:48,139 You are in an unusual situation, and as your friend, 1506 01:02:48,140 --> 01:02:50,469 I should have created a safe space for you to share 1507 01:02:50,470 --> 01:02:52,889 without the threat of criticism, so... 1508 01:02:52,890 --> 01:02:54,559 I'm sorry. 1509 01:02:54,560 --> 01:02:56,229 I am here. 1510 01:02:56,230 --> 01:02:57,859 No judgment. 1511 01:02:57,860 --> 01:02:59,399 What is going on? 1512 01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:00,979 ABBY: Well, let's see. 1513 01:03:00,980 --> 01:03:03,109 I was arrested by mall security yesterday, 1514 01:03:03,110 --> 01:03:05,279 and now Harper's entire family thinks I'm a criminal. 1515 01:03:05,280 --> 01:03:07,739 And after spending her entire night, like, 1516 01:03:07,740 --> 01:03:11,659 until 2:00 in the morning, with her ex-boyfriend Connor, 1517 01:03:11,660 --> 01:03:13,999 she's acting like someone I barely even recognize. 1518 01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:16,579 And I want to just get out of here, but it would cost me 1519 01:03:16,580 --> 01:03:18,749 like a thousand dollars to get a ride, and-- 1520 01:03:18,750 --> 01:03:21,339 This is why I avoid Christmas. 1521 01:03:21,340 --> 01:03:23,009 It brings out the worst in everything. 1522 01:03:23,010 --> 01:03:26,049 I-I know this isn't about me. I just feel crazy, like-- 1523 01:03:26,050 --> 01:03:28,719 Do I-- It's-- Do I stick it out for two days? 1524 01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:30,719 It's-it's not that long. 1525 01:03:30,720 --> 01:03:32,810 But I don't know. I-- 1526 01:03:34,020 --> 01:03:35,889 What would you do? 1527 01:03:35,890 --> 01:03:37,059 JOHN: Uh... 1528 01:03:37,060 --> 01:03:38,519 Uh... uh... 1529 01:03:38,520 --> 01:03:39,649 I... 1530 01:03:39,650 --> 01:03:41,779 [QUIETLY] Thank you. 1531 01:03:41,780 --> 01:03:44,739 I'm gonna-- I'm gonna need to give this a think. 1532 01:03:44,740 --> 01:03:46,490 I think. 1533 01:03:47,740 --> 01:03:49,570 - Hello? 1534 01:03:59,330 --> 01:04:01,919 [INHALES DEEPLY] 1535 01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:03,960 [EXHALES] 1536 01:04:07,050 --> 01:04:09,050 [EXHALES SHARPLY] 1537 01:04:11,180 --> 01:04:13,100 [SIGHS] 1538 01:04:14,520 --> 01:04:16,139 Hey, um... 1539 01:04:16,140 --> 01:04:17,889 Hey, it's Abby. 1540 01:04:17,890 --> 01:04:20,019 Are you-- Are you doing anything right now? 1541 01:04:20,020 --> 01:04:22,269 Who's really gonna want a mini doughnut factory? 1542 01:04:22,270 --> 01:04:23,819 RILEY: Uh, this family. 1543 01:04:23,820 --> 01:04:25,859 I saw two of their cousins get in a fistfight 1544 01:04:25,860 --> 01:04:27,699 over a quesadilla maker at this party once. 1545 01:04:27,700 --> 01:04:29,780 [CELL PHONE CHIMES] - Oh, yikes. 1546 01:04:36,910 --> 01:04:38,369 - Everything all right? 1547 01:04:38,370 --> 01:04:39,670 - Yeah. 1548 01:04:42,670 --> 01:04:45,839 JANE: Thank you so much. It looks so good. 1549 01:04:45,840 --> 01:04:47,919 I mean, it-it looks good. 1550 01:04:47,920 --> 01:04:50,680 ["THE FIRST NOEL" PLAYS SOFTLY OVER SPEAKERS] 1551 01:04:52,890 --> 01:04:54,349 JANE: This is all for me. 1552 01:04:54,350 --> 01:04:55,849 [CHUCKLES] It's not. It's not. 1553 01:04:55,850 --> 01:04:57,019 I'm just kidding. 1554 01:04:57,020 --> 01:04:58,729 It's for my-- 1555 01:04:58,730 --> 01:05:00,810 And yes, we'll have-- 1556 01:05:06,070 --> 01:05:08,189 Ready to go? 1557 01:05:08,190 --> 01:05:10,819 - [GASPS] [BOTTLES CLATTER] 1558 01:05:10,820 --> 01:05:12,449 [HARPER SIGHS] 1559 01:05:12,450 --> 01:05:14,450 - It's probably okay. 1560 01:05:16,370 --> 01:05:18,249 [GRUNTS] 1561 01:05:18,250 --> 01:05:20,330 - [HARPER GASPS] 1562 01:05:22,080 --> 01:05:23,289 [HARPER SIGHS] 1563 01:05:23,290 --> 01:05:25,300 ♪ playful music ♪ 1564 01:05:29,420 --> 01:05:31,889 - Oh, do not put that there. 1565 01:05:31,890 --> 01:05:34,639 What do you think this is, a barn party? 1566 01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:37,559 Hey, everyone, please come down! 1567 01:05:37,560 --> 01:05:41,229 We are getting this photo as soon as Jane gets here. 1568 01:05:41,230 --> 01:05:42,939 - Honey, are you sure this is the best time? 1569 01:05:42,940 --> 01:05:44,399 People will start arriving any minute. 1570 01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:45,979 - It's the only time. 1571 01:05:45,980 --> 01:05:47,320 [DOOR OPENS] 1572 01:05:48,940 --> 01:05:50,489 Hi, Abby. - Hi. 1573 01:05:50,490 --> 01:05:52,989 Oh, where should I put this white elephant gift? 1574 01:05:52,990 --> 01:05:54,819 - I don't know. In the oven? 1575 01:05:54,820 --> 01:05:56,449 Jesus, Abby, where do you think it goes? 1576 01:05:56,450 --> 01:05:57,989 Under the damn tree. 1577 01:05:57,990 --> 01:05:59,619 [SIGHS] I'm sorry. 1578 01:05:59,620 --> 01:06:01,289 I'm sorry. 1579 01:06:01,290 --> 01:06:03,629 You probably never even had a Christmas tree. 1580 01:06:03,630 --> 01:06:06,089 [SIGHS] We do this party every year, 1581 01:06:06,090 --> 01:06:09,259 and every year, no matter how early I start planning, 1582 01:06:09,260 --> 01:06:11,969 I just feel totally unprepared. 1583 01:06:11,970 --> 01:06:15,759 [SIGHS] And I can't find my Christmas brooch. 1584 01:06:15,760 --> 01:06:17,309 Have you seen it? 1585 01:06:17,310 --> 01:06:18,889 You can tell me. 1586 01:06:18,890 --> 01:06:20,309 I won't be mad. 1587 01:06:20,310 --> 01:06:22,190 I just want to know it's safe. 1588 01:06:23,650 --> 01:06:25,110 - I haven't seen it. 1589 01:06:26,610 --> 01:06:28,019 - Okay. 1590 01:06:28,020 --> 01:06:32,489 Well, if it should magically appear on my dresser, 1591 01:06:32,490 --> 01:06:34,489 there will be no questions asked. 1592 01:06:34,490 --> 01:06:35,740 - Okay. TIPPER: Okay. 1593 01:06:43,790 --> 01:06:46,289 - [SIGHS] Um... 1594 01:06:46,290 --> 01:06:47,500 Hey, Ted. 1595 01:06:48,590 --> 01:06:51,719 I just wanted to mention-- 1596 01:06:51,720 --> 01:06:54,969 everything that happened yesterday was a complete misunderstanding. 1597 01:06:54,970 --> 01:06:56,469 You know, I would never, ever-- 1598 01:06:56,470 --> 01:06:58,719 You-you don't-- You don't have to explain. 1599 01:06:58,720 --> 01:07:01,139 Let's just avoid any further incidents, yes? 1600 01:07:01,140 --> 01:07:02,889 - Yeah. Yes. TED: Okay. 1601 01:07:02,890 --> 01:07:05,439 - Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas Eve. TED: Oh. 1602 01:07:05,440 --> 01:07:07,439 - [CHUCKLES] Hey, Abby. ABBY: Hey. 1603 01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:09,439 - Look at what this little elf brought in. 1604 01:07:09,440 --> 01:07:11,279 [SQUEALS] ABBY: Wow. What is that? 1605 01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:13,029 - This is my masterpiece. 1606 01:07:13,030 --> 01:07:15,529 Whoever picks it is gonna be very pleased. 1607 01:07:15,530 --> 01:07:16,949 - Oh, Jane, I'm so glad you're here. 1608 01:07:16,950 --> 01:07:18,279 The printer's jammed again. 1609 01:07:18,280 --> 01:07:20,290 - Oh, okay. I'm on it. 1610 01:07:32,300 --> 01:07:34,919 - Hey. - Hey. 1611 01:07:34,920 --> 01:07:36,719 What'd you do today? 1612 01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:40,049 - I just went and got a white elephant gift. 1613 01:07:40,050 --> 01:07:41,389 - Oh. 1614 01:07:41,390 --> 01:07:42,849 In town? 1615 01:07:42,850 --> 01:07:44,179 - Yeah. 1616 01:07:44,180 --> 01:07:45,599 - How'd you get there? 1617 01:07:45,600 --> 01:07:46,689 - Has Jane arrived yet? 1618 01:07:46,690 --> 01:07:49,519 - Yeah, Jane's in Ted's office with him. 1619 01:07:49,520 --> 01:07:51,399 TIPPER: Jane, Ted, now! 1620 01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:54,029 Nice of you two to join us. Where are the twins? 1621 01:07:54,030 --> 01:07:56,739 - They don't feel like having their picture taken tonight. 1622 01:07:56,740 --> 01:07:59,279 - [TIPPER SIGHS] 1623 01:07:59,280 --> 01:08:01,790 TIPPER: Harper, come with me. 1624 01:08:02,830 --> 01:08:05,290 ♪ upbeat holiday music ♪ 1625 01:08:07,920 --> 01:08:09,419 SLOANE: It's really a break from 1626 01:08:09,420 --> 01:08:12,549 traditional gifting and a move into the extraordinary. 1627 01:08:12,550 --> 01:08:15,219 The vessels are curated for each individual. 1628 01:08:15,220 --> 01:08:17,839 We'd be happy to mindfully assemble-- TED: Uh, S-Sloane was 1629 01:08:17,840 --> 01:08:21,549 on track to make partner at her firm before she left to start a family. 1630 01:08:21,550 --> 01:08:22,719 She's our super mom, 1631 01:08:22,720 --> 01:08:27,139 Harper is our powerhouse, and, uh, Jane... 1632 01:08:27,140 --> 01:08:29,849 i-is the only reason the Internet ever works in this house. 1633 01:08:29,850 --> 01:08:31,309 - [LAUGHING] JANE: Aw. 1634 01:08:31,310 --> 01:08:33,150 I have a way with routers. 1635 01:08:35,030 --> 01:08:36,779 ERIC: Excuse me, all. 1636 01:08:36,780 --> 01:08:38,949 Uh, the twins have prepared a little song for you. 1637 01:08:38,950 --> 01:08:40,239 HARPER: Oh. 1638 01:08:40,240 --> 01:08:42,700 [PIANO PLAYING "SILENT NIGHT"] 1639 01:08:45,370 --> 01:08:48,619 - ♪ Silent night ♪ 1640 01:08:48,620 --> 01:08:51,459 ♪ Holy night ♪ 1641 01:08:51,460 --> 01:08:53,499 ♪ All is calm... ♪ 1642 01:08:53,500 --> 01:08:55,589 - What are you drinking? 1643 01:08:55,590 --> 01:08:57,799 - Oh, it's a spiced... alcohol. 1644 01:08:57,800 --> 01:09:00,219 - Gross. Can I have some? - Yeah. 1645 01:09:00,220 --> 01:09:03,349 KIDS: ♪ Mother and child... ♪ 1646 01:09:03,350 --> 01:09:05,849 - Mm-hmm. - So, Plort is the leader of the Shadow Dreamers. 1647 01:09:05,850 --> 01:09:07,889 He's half human, half Quazzle. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 1648 01:09:07,890 --> 01:09:10,309 - He's got the eyes of a Verg but the heart of a Zengle. 1649 01:09:10,310 --> 01:09:12,229 The Verg comes from his mother's side, generations back. 1650 01:09:12,230 --> 01:09:14,019 SLOANE: If you want the spa package vessel, 1651 01:09:14,020 --> 01:09:15,859 you could do edible bubble bath. - Excuse me, Sloane. 1652 01:09:15,860 --> 01:09:17,989 Uh, Harry wants to meet the twins. 1653 01:09:17,990 --> 01:09:19,359 - I'll find them. TED: Okay. 1654 01:09:19,360 --> 01:09:20,699 - Excuse me. 1655 01:09:20,700 --> 01:09:23,579 - You know? Thing is, my parents were so attached 1656 01:09:23,580 --> 01:09:28,039 to me believing in Santa Claus that even after years go by 1657 01:09:28,040 --> 01:09:30,079 and I stop believing in Santa Claus, 1658 01:09:30,080 --> 01:09:32,249 and they knew that I stopped believing in Santa Claus, 1659 01:09:32,250 --> 01:09:34,249 we just kept that charade going. 1660 01:09:34,250 --> 01:09:37,459 Their investment in it just made me feel so bad for them, you know? 1661 01:09:37,460 --> 01:09:39,010 - Mm-hmm. 1662 01:09:40,050 --> 01:09:42,389 Yeah. 1663 01:09:42,390 --> 01:09:44,429 - Like, so bad for them that... 1664 01:09:44,430 --> 01:09:47,719 you know, that I eventually just murdered them. 1665 01:09:47,720 --> 01:09:48,889 - That sounds fun. - Mm. 1666 01:09:48,890 --> 01:09:50,350 Okay. 1667 01:09:51,390 --> 01:09:53,019 What is happening? 1668 01:09:53,020 --> 01:09:54,479 CONNOR: Hey, you guys. 1669 01:09:54,480 --> 01:09:56,149 HARPER: Connor, you made it. 1670 01:09:56,150 --> 01:09:57,859 JANE: Hi. Merry Christmas. Hi. CONNOR: Hey, guys. Merry Christmas. 1671 01:09:57,860 --> 01:09:59,689 Good to see you. Hi. - [ABBY SIGHS] 1672 01:09:59,690 --> 01:10:02,110 CONNOR: Merry Christmas. - I don't know. 1673 01:10:04,160 --> 01:10:05,949 Yesterday, I'd never felt closer 1674 01:10:05,950 --> 01:10:08,329 to another person in my entire life, and now I... 1675 01:10:08,330 --> 01:10:11,039 I don't know her. 1676 01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:14,459 And I thought she loved me and was happy, but I... 1677 01:10:14,460 --> 01:10:18,499 I-I see her here, and she's so terrified of what everyone thinks, 1678 01:10:18,500 --> 01:10:20,839 and it's just making me wonder who the real Harper is. 1679 01:10:20,840 --> 01:10:22,879 You know? 1680 01:10:22,880 --> 01:10:24,930 - Well, maybe they both are. 1681 01:10:28,220 --> 01:10:30,220 - I was gonna ask her to marry me tomorrow. 1682 01:10:37,110 --> 01:10:40,109 - Um, I'm gonna get you a real drink. 1683 01:10:40,110 --> 01:10:41,950 Okay? 1684 01:10:45,370 --> 01:10:46,619 [WHISPERS] JOHN: Abby. 1685 01:10:46,620 --> 01:10:48,409 Abby! [CLEARS THROAT] 1686 01:10:48,410 --> 01:10:50,450 Sorry. What? 1687 01:10:51,450 --> 01:10:52,620 ABBY: Um... 1688 01:10:53,830 --> 01:10:55,079 How are you here? 1689 01:10:55,080 --> 01:10:56,499 - When are you gonna get this? 1690 01:10:56,500 --> 01:10:58,249 I have been tracking you. 1691 01:10:58,250 --> 01:10:59,629 Mm, mm, mm, mm. [CLEARS THROAT] 1692 01:10:59,630 --> 01:11:00,839 - Hello. 1693 01:11:00,840 --> 01:11:01,840 - Hi. 1694 01:11:01,841 --> 01:11:02,879 TIPPER: I'm Tipper. 1695 01:11:02,880 --> 01:11:04,469 This is my home. JOHN: Oh. 1696 01:11:04,470 --> 01:11:06,220 - Are you the ex-boyfriend? 1697 01:11:10,890 --> 01:11:13,729 - [CLEARS THROAT] Y-Yes. I am John, 1698 01:11:13,730 --> 01:11:16,349 Abby's heterosexual ex-boyfriend, 1699 01:11:16,350 --> 01:11:19,439 and I have come to get her back. 1700 01:11:19,440 --> 01:11:20,979 TIPPER: Mm. I see. 1701 01:11:20,980 --> 01:11:24,819 Well, it would've been nice to have known you were coming, 1702 01:11:24,820 --> 01:11:28,319 but since you are here, enjoy. 1703 01:11:28,320 --> 01:11:30,330 JOHN: Thank you so much. 1704 01:11:31,790 --> 01:11:34,119 Okay, I nailed that, and she is fabulous. 1705 01:11:34,120 --> 01:11:35,369 - What are you doing? 1706 01:11:35,370 --> 01:11:38,169 - That phone call earlier was a cry for help. 1707 01:11:38,170 --> 01:11:40,629 I'm here to rescue you. Please get your things. 1708 01:11:40,630 --> 01:11:42,630 - [SIGHS] 1709 01:11:45,300 --> 01:11:46,469 - Is that the ex-boyfriend? 1710 01:11:46,470 --> 01:11:47,929 - [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION] 1711 01:11:47,930 --> 01:11:49,390 - [GASPS] Oh, my God. 1712 01:11:50,560 --> 01:11:52,559 - I mean, I guess he's handsome. I-- 1713 01:11:52,560 --> 01:11:54,560 Can we please go? 1714 01:11:59,650 --> 01:12:01,189 - Harper. 1715 01:12:01,190 --> 01:12:02,649 It's over. 1716 01:12:02,650 --> 01:12:04,190 I'm done. 1717 01:12:10,280 --> 01:12:12,290 - I'm just gonna... 1718 01:12:13,370 --> 01:12:16,039 - Everybody, please take your seats. 1719 01:12:16,040 --> 01:12:18,880 We're ready to begin white elephant. 1720 01:12:20,630 --> 01:12:22,089 HARPER: Abby. Hey. 1721 01:12:22,090 --> 01:12:23,419 Can we just talk for a second? 1722 01:12:23,420 --> 01:12:25,209 - No. I got to go. I-I can't-- 1723 01:12:25,210 --> 01:12:26,799 I can't do this for you anymore. 1724 01:12:26,800 --> 01:12:28,549 But, uh, merry Christmas. 1725 01:12:28,550 --> 01:12:32,009 Enjoy your family, and enjoy Connor. 1726 01:12:32,010 --> 01:12:35,139 - What? What? No, I don't-- I don't want him. 1727 01:12:35,140 --> 01:12:36,729 I don't want Connor. 1728 01:12:36,730 --> 01:12:37,889 I want you. 1729 01:12:37,890 --> 01:12:39,059 - Then what was that? 1730 01:12:39,060 --> 01:12:40,769 - I don't know. 1731 01:12:40,770 --> 01:12:43,609 Why are you huddled in a corner with Riley? 1732 01:12:43,610 --> 01:12:45,939 - None of this has anything to do with Riley. 1733 01:12:45,940 --> 01:12:48,359 This is all happening because of you, Harper. 1734 01:12:48,360 --> 01:12:51,949 You not telling your parents about us is a choice that you made. 1735 01:12:51,950 --> 01:12:53,909 - It is not that simple. ABBY: Do you know how painful 1736 01:12:53,910 --> 01:12:58,369 it's been to watch the person that I love choose to hide me? 1737 01:12:58,370 --> 01:13:00,880 I am not hiding you. I am hiding me. 1738 01:13:01,920 --> 01:13:03,749 Okay? 1739 01:13:03,750 --> 01:13:06,839 Our entire life, we have been expected to be 1740 01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:10,800 these perfect, golden children. 1741 01:13:11,970 --> 01:13:15,519 I mean, love in our house wasn't something we just got for free. 1742 01:13:15,520 --> 01:13:17,099 It is something that we competed for, 1743 01:13:17,100 --> 01:13:19,520 and if we veered off their course, we lost it. 1744 01:13:21,020 --> 01:13:23,269 I-I know it's messed up, okay? 1745 01:13:23,270 --> 01:13:24,939 I get it. 1746 01:13:24,940 --> 01:13:26,609 But they're my parents, 1747 01:13:26,610 --> 01:13:29,109 and I am scared that if I tell them who I really am, 1748 01:13:29,110 --> 01:13:31,279 I will lose them. 1749 01:13:31,280 --> 01:13:34,910 And I know, if I don't tell them, I will lose you. 1750 01:13:36,950 --> 01:13:38,960 I don't want to lose you. 1751 01:13:41,210 --> 01:13:42,539 - Hey, come here. Come here. 1752 01:13:42,540 --> 01:13:44,289 - No, I don't want to lose you. - No, no. 1753 01:13:44,290 --> 01:13:46,249 Look at me. Come here. Look at me. It's okay. 1754 01:13:46,250 --> 01:13:48,340 - I don't-- - Hey, stop. 1755 01:13:50,010 --> 01:13:52,390 HARPER: I don't want to lose you. ABBY: You're not. 1756 01:13:57,390 --> 01:13:59,770 SLOANE: Matilda and Magnus... 1757 01:14:03,310 --> 01:14:05,229 TIPPER: If you want a present... [LAUGHS] 1758 01:14:05,230 --> 01:14:07,229 you better have a number. 1759 01:14:07,230 --> 01:14:08,609 - [CLEARS THROAT] 'Sup? 1760 01:14:08,610 --> 01:14:09,989 - 'Sup? 1761 01:14:09,990 --> 01:14:11,529 TIPPER: Anybody else? 1762 01:14:11,530 --> 01:14:12,819 - [CHUCKLES] 1763 01:14:12,820 --> 01:14:14,820 - You pump? 1764 01:14:15,950 --> 01:14:18,489 - I'm sorry? - Weights. 1765 01:14:18,490 --> 01:14:20,370 - Oh. - Yeah. 1766 01:14:21,500 --> 01:14:23,459 - Yeah. 1767 01:14:23,460 --> 01:14:25,880 You? - Yeah. Yeah. 1768 01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:29,010 - What do you bench? - [SIGHS] 1769 01:14:30,090 --> 01:14:32,089 Thousand. Thou-Thousand, plus. 1770 01:14:32,090 --> 01:14:34,139 TIPPER: All right. Everybody have your numbers? 1771 01:14:34,140 --> 01:14:35,759 SLOANE: Kids? - Sloane, Sloane, Sloane! 1772 01:14:35,760 --> 01:14:37,349 - Hmm? Yeah? - Can we just talk for a sec? 1773 01:14:37,350 --> 01:14:39,349 - Oh, what's there to talk about? You and Abby are in 1774 01:14:39,350 --> 01:14:41,179 a romantic relationship, and you've been lying 1775 01:14:41,180 --> 01:14:42,939 to the family about it for God knows how long. 1776 01:14:42,940 --> 01:14:44,519 Does that sound about right, or-- 1777 01:14:44,520 --> 01:14:48,229 - Just, uh, please don't tell Mom and Dad yet. 1778 01:14:48,230 --> 01:14:50,529 - [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] - Please, Sloane. 1779 01:14:50,530 --> 01:14:52,860 I'm telling them after the holidays. 1780 01:14:59,490 --> 01:15:01,449 - [CHUCKLES] 1781 01:15:01,450 --> 01:15:02,789 Just rip it. 1782 01:15:02,790 --> 01:15:04,669 HARPER: Please promise me you won't say anything. 1783 01:15:04,670 --> 01:15:07,079 Now is just very bad timing, 1784 01:15:07,080 --> 01:15:09,169 and I'm telling them everything after the holidays anyways. 1785 01:15:09,170 --> 01:15:10,709 - Honestly, I feel sorry for you. 1786 01:15:10,710 --> 01:15:12,339 Mom and Dad are gonna be so heartbroken 1787 01:15:12,340 --> 01:15:14,339 when they find out you've been lying to them. [CLATTERING] 1788 01:15:14,340 --> 01:15:16,549 - Sloane, if you-- - [GASPS] Wait. Kids? 1789 01:15:16,550 --> 01:15:18,889 Found you! - [GASPING] 1790 01:15:18,890 --> 01:15:20,099 HARPER: Oh. 1791 01:15:20,100 --> 01:15:21,309 - Are you kidding me? 1792 01:15:21,310 --> 01:15:23,639 No one's supposed to know yet. 1793 01:15:23,640 --> 01:15:25,389 We had an agreement. 1794 01:15:25,390 --> 01:15:26,899 - I'm sorry. 1795 01:15:26,900 --> 01:15:29,570 - I guess I'm not the only one with a secret. 1796 01:15:31,480 --> 01:15:33,109 - [SLOANE SCREAMS] 1797 01:15:33,110 --> 01:15:34,529 - Wow. - Yeah. 1798 01:15:34,530 --> 01:15:36,409 - Yeah, that is-- That's-that's good mass. 1799 01:15:36,410 --> 01:15:38,029 That is solid. - Yeah. Thanks, man. 1800 01:15:38,030 --> 01:15:40,279 JANE: Oh, my God. They all look so nice. 1801 01:15:40,280 --> 01:15:42,119 - Just choose, Jane. - [CHUCKLES] 1802 01:15:42,120 --> 01:15:43,909 - Eeny, meeny, mi-- 1803 01:15:43,910 --> 01:15:45,459 [LAUGHS] I'm just kidding. 1804 01:15:45,460 --> 01:15:46,460 - [GRUNTING] 1805 01:15:46,461 --> 01:15:48,879 - You have no idea what goes on in other people's families, 1806 01:15:48,880 --> 01:15:50,959 so you need to just keep your mouth shut! 1807 01:15:50,960 --> 01:15:53,419 HARPER: You keep your mouth shut, psycho! 1808 01:15:53,420 --> 01:15:55,340 - I should run. Yeah. - Yeah. 1809 01:15:57,390 --> 01:15:59,139 - Levi. [CLEARS THROAT] We should-- 1810 01:15:59,140 --> 01:16:01,220 JANE: Huh. I wonder what this one is. 1811 01:16:02,640 --> 01:16:05,269 - Abby, get the Santa. - [STRAINED GRUNT] 1812 01:16:05,270 --> 01:16:07,099 - I mean-- - You stay out of this, Sappho. 1813 01:16:07,100 --> 01:16:08,149 - I would-- 1814 01:16:08,150 --> 01:16:09,859 - [GRUNTING] 1815 01:16:09,860 --> 01:16:12,149 - I don't know what this is. 1816 01:16:12,150 --> 01:16:14,439 It's big. - [LAUGHTER] 1817 01:16:14,440 --> 01:16:15,990 - [GRUNTING, SCREAMING] - Oh! 1818 01:16:18,490 --> 01:16:20,239 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - [GASPING] 1819 01:16:20,240 --> 01:16:21,779 - Oh, gosh. 1820 01:16:21,780 --> 01:16:23,790 Here, help me out here. 1821 01:16:25,290 --> 01:16:27,499 What-what-what-- Wh-What is this? 1822 01:16:27,500 --> 01:16:29,829 - It's a painting of Main Street. 1823 01:16:29,830 --> 01:16:30,750 I made it. 1824 01:16:30,751 --> 01:16:32,339 - I love that. 1825 01:16:32,340 --> 01:16:34,090 [CLEARING THROAT] 1826 01:16:35,920 --> 01:16:37,719 SLOANE: No! No, no, no! 1827 01:16:37,720 --> 01:16:40,139 [SCREAMS] I'll kill you! 1828 01:16:40,140 --> 01:16:41,179 - [GUESTS MURMURING] SLOANE: I'll kill you! 1829 01:16:41,180 --> 01:16:42,679 TED: What are you doing? TIPPER: Girls! 1830 01:16:42,680 --> 01:16:44,929 What is going on? 1831 01:16:44,930 --> 01:16:46,389 - Yeah, what is going on? 1832 01:16:46,390 --> 01:16:48,439 Harper, do you want to tell them, or should I? 1833 01:16:48,440 --> 01:16:49,939 - Don't, Sloane! SLOANE: Why? 1834 01:16:49,940 --> 01:16:51,109 It's not good timing? 1835 01:16:51,110 --> 01:16:52,189 - [GRUNTS] - [GUESTS GASP] 1836 01:16:52,190 --> 01:16:53,899 - Girls, stop that this instant! 1837 01:16:53,900 --> 01:16:55,479 - Come on, guys. Just hug it out. 1838 01:16:55,480 --> 01:16:56,649 BOTH: Shut up, Jane! 1839 01:16:56,650 --> 01:16:58,359 - Don't do this, Sloane. 1840 01:16:58,360 --> 01:17:00,819 - All this because you're scared to not be the favorite. 1841 01:17:00,820 --> 01:17:01,869 Pathetic. 1842 01:17:01,870 --> 01:17:03,029 - Sloane, you're making a scene! 1843 01:17:03,030 --> 01:17:04,079 SLOANE: I am? 1844 01:17:04,080 --> 01:17:06,450 You think she's so innocent? 1845 01:17:07,580 --> 01:17:10,619 All of this is happening because Harper is-- 1846 01:17:10,620 --> 01:17:12,749 - [GUESTS GASP, SCREAM] 1847 01:17:12,750 --> 01:17:13,840 - [PANTING] 1848 01:17:15,300 --> 01:17:17,419 - Harper is a lesbian. 1849 01:17:17,420 --> 01:17:19,430 Abby's her girlfriend. 1850 01:17:31,770 --> 01:17:32,980 - She is lying. 1851 01:17:34,980 --> 01:17:36,279 I am not a lesbian. 1852 01:17:36,280 --> 01:17:40,070 Sloane is the one that has this big-- 1853 01:18:07,600 --> 01:18:09,559 [GRUNTING IN FRUSTRATION] TED: No! 1854 01:18:09,560 --> 01:18:11,769 - [HARPER SCREAMS] - [GUESTS GASPING, SHOUTING] 1855 01:18:11,770 --> 01:18:13,729 - Harper! - [SLOANE AND HARPER SCREAMING] 1856 01:18:13,730 --> 01:18:15,859 - Stop it! Goddamn it, stop it! HARRY: Oh, my. 1857 01:18:15,860 --> 01:18:16,979 JANE: No! 1858 01:18:16,980 --> 01:18:18,979 Enough! 1859 01:18:18,980 --> 01:18:20,319 - [BOTH PANTING] 1860 01:18:20,320 --> 01:18:25,119 - I put 100 hours into that painting, and you... 1861 01:18:25,120 --> 01:18:28,370 you just destroyed it like it was nothing. 1862 01:18:30,540 --> 01:18:31,960 It was something. 1863 01:18:33,330 --> 01:18:35,840 I am something. 1864 01:18:37,090 --> 01:18:38,589 And guess what. 1865 01:18:38,590 --> 01:18:39,959 I like myself. 1866 01:18:39,960 --> 01:18:44,430 And maybe you all don't because I'm not fancy. 1867 01:18:45,640 --> 01:18:48,849 But whether you like it or not, I'm a part of this family, 1868 01:18:48,850 --> 01:18:51,389 and I will not be left out anymore! 1869 01:18:51,390 --> 01:18:52,689 - [SCREAMING] - No! 1870 01:18:52,690 --> 01:18:55,350 - [GUESTS GASPING] 1871 01:18:56,560 --> 01:18:57,899 - Stop it, girls! 1872 01:18:57,900 --> 01:18:59,899 - [GROANING] TIPPER: Stop this right now. 1873 01:18:59,900 --> 01:19:01,069 JANE: Guys, you keep ripping it more! 1874 01:19:01,070 --> 01:19:03,529 TIPPER: Kids, what are you doing back there? 1875 01:19:03,530 --> 01:19:06,200 MAGNUS: Playing hide-and-seek like Abby and Aunt Harper. 1876 01:19:07,410 --> 01:19:09,660 - [SIGHS, SNIFFLES] 1877 01:19:13,250 --> 01:19:15,250 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 1878 01:19:19,300 --> 01:19:21,630 [SIGHS, SNIFFLES] 1879 01:19:22,760 --> 01:19:24,179 JOHN: Abby? 1880 01:19:24,180 --> 01:19:25,680 - [ABBY GROANS] 1881 01:19:29,720 --> 01:19:31,600 - Want to go for a walk? 1882 01:19:32,640 --> 01:19:33,890 Okay. 1883 01:19:34,940 --> 01:19:36,729 Okay. 1884 01:19:36,730 --> 01:19:38,809 Come on. 1885 01:19:38,810 --> 01:19:40,730 ABBY: My parents loved Christmas. 1886 01:19:41,820 --> 01:19:43,149 We would do all the stuff. 1887 01:19:43,150 --> 01:19:45,449 We would decorate and... 1888 01:19:45,450 --> 01:19:47,870 do the tree and watch, like, every Christmas movie. 1889 01:19:52,450 --> 01:19:56,209 After they died, I-I couldn't really bring myself to acknowledge Christmas. 1890 01:19:56,210 --> 01:19:57,750 JOHN: Hmm. 1891 01:19:59,630 --> 01:20:03,299 - The holidays were just a huge reminder of... 1892 01:20:03,300 --> 01:20:05,840 them not being here. 1893 01:20:08,010 --> 01:20:10,299 So I really thought maybe this year with... 1894 01:20:10,300 --> 01:20:14,889 with Harper and meeting her family, you know, 1895 01:20:14,890 --> 01:20:16,770 that it would just feel different. 1896 01:20:22,820 --> 01:20:24,489 [SNIFFLES] 1897 01:20:24,490 --> 01:20:27,569 I don't-- I don't think that she... 1898 01:20:27,570 --> 01:20:29,569 loves me as much as I thought she did. 1899 01:20:29,570 --> 01:20:31,240 - Hey. 1900 01:20:32,330 --> 01:20:37,329 Harper not coming out to her parents has nothing to do with you. 1901 01:20:37,330 --> 01:20:40,330 - [TREMBLING] How could it not? 1902 01:20:42,290 --> 01:20:46,090 - Remind me, what did your parents say when you told them you were gay? 1903 01:20:47,300 --> 01:20:51,180 - Um, that they loved and supported me. 1904 01:20:52,350 --> 01:20:54,560 - That's amazing. 1905 01:20:57,980 --> 01:21:00,399 My dad... 1906 01:21:00,400 --> 01:21:02,229 kicked me out of the house 1907 01:21:02,230 --> 01:21:04,940 and didn't talk to me for 13 years after I told him. 1908 01:21:06,860 --> 01:21:09,280 Everybody's story is different. 1909 01:21:10,660 --> 01:21:12,949 There's your version 1910 01:21:12,950 --> 01:21:17,000 and my version and everything in between. 1911 01:21:19,620 --> 01:21:22,919 But the one thing that all of those stories have in common 1912 01:21:22,920 --> 01:21:27,419 is that moment right before you say those words, 1913 01:21:27,420 --> 01:21:30,509 when your heart is racing 1914 01:21:30,510 --> 01:21:32,800 and you don't know what's coming next. 1915 01:21:35,760 --> 01:21:37,770 That moment's really terrifying. 1916 01:21:39,440 --> 01:21:41,599 And then once you say those words, 1917 01:21:41,600 --> 01:21:44,019 you can't unsay them. 1918 01:21:44,020 --> 01:21:48,399 A chapter has ended, and a new one's begun, 1919 01:21:48,400 --> 01:21:52,569 and you have to be ready for that. 1920 01:21:52,570 --> 01:21:54,780 You can't do it for anyone else. 1921 01:21:56,700 --> 01:21:59,619 Just because Harper isn't ready, 1922 01:21:59,620 --> 01:22:02,169 it doesn't mean she never will be, 1923 01:22:02,170 --> 01:22:04,079 and it doesn't mean she doesn't love you. 1924 01:22:04,080 --> 01:22:05,750 - [SNIFFLES] 1925 01:22:08,340 --> 01:22:09,879 [SNIFFLES] 1926 01:22:09,880 --> 01:22:13,429 I-I want to be with someone who is ready. 1927 01:22:13,430 --> 01:22:15,350 - Mm. 1928 01:22:28,030 --> 01:22:30,569 You look great in this coat. 1929 01:22:30,570 --> 01:22:32,489 GUEST: Merry Christmas. Thank you. SLOANE: Thank you. 1930 01:22:32,490 --> 01:22:35,070 - [QUIET CHATTER] 1931 01:22:36,120 --> 01:22:37,870 RILEY: Just wait for me in the car. 1932 01:22:44,460 --> 01:22:45,670 Great party. 1933 01:22:46,710 --> 01:22:48,299 - Yeah. 1934 01:22:48,300 --> 01:22:49,420 - You okay? 1935 01:22:53,050 --> 01:22:54,890 - I'm so sorry. 1936 01:22:57,100 --> 01:22:58,970 - [SIGHS] 1937 01:23:02,100 --> 01:23:04,270 Merry Christmas. 1938 01:23:05,850 --> 01:23:07,610 - Merry Christmas. 1939 01:23:12,530 --> 01:23:14,359 - She's a really good one. 1940 01:23:14,360 --> 01:23:16,200 - [CHUCKLES] Yeah. 1941 01:23:20,240 --> 01:23:21,450 - Riley. - Sloane. 1942 01:23:27,630 --> 01:23:29,500 - I'm sorry. 1943 01:23:30,710 --> 01:23:32,880 Okay, come on. Let's get you two to bed. 1944 01:23:34,970 --> 01:23:37,219 - Thank you, Ms. Levin, for coming, 1945 01:23:37,220 --> 01:23:41,469 and again, my apologies for the spectacle. 1946 01:23:41,470 --> 01:23:43,230 - I'll call you. 1947 01:23:50,440 --> 01:23:52,439 - What the hell happened tonight? 1948 01:23:52,440 --> 01:23:54,949 Even as children, you never behaved this badly. 1949 01:23:54,950 --> 01:23:57,869 I expected more from you, especially you, Harper. 1950 01:23:57,870 --> 01:23:59,909 You know how this world works. 1951 01:23:59,910 --> 01:24:04,329 Reputation is everything, and tonight you jeopardized mine. 1952 01:24:04,330 --> 01:24:07,169 Jane, I know you-you just wanted to be included. 1953 01:24:07,170 --> 01:24:08,459 - It was really nice. 1954 01:24:08,460 --> 01:24:12,419 - Sloane, making up lies about your sister. 1955 01:24:12,420 --> 01:24:13,799 You're better than that. 1956 01:24:13,800 --> 01:24:16,260 At least you used to be. 1957 01:24:18,840 --> 01:24:20,969 - Sorry, I'm-I'm just getting my stuff. 1958 01:24:20,970 --> 01:24:23,059 - Wait, Abby. 1959 01:24:23,060 --> 01:24:24,680 Wait. 1960 01:24:25,890 --> 01:24:27,139 [SIGHS] 1961 01:24:27,140 --> 01:24:29,150 Sloane wasn't lying. 1962 01:24:30,730 --> 01:24:32,230 I'm gay. 1963 01:24:36,820 --> 01:24:39,740 And I am in love with Abby. 1964 01:24:41,950 --> 01:24:43,949 I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner, 1965 01:24:43,950 --> 01:24:47,499 but I know how much appearances and reputation matter to you, 1966 01:24:47,500 --> 01:24:50,789 and me being gay just didn't... 1967 01:24:50,790 --> 01:24:53,209 fit into the plan. 1968 01:24:53,210 --> 01:24:57,129 But I... 1969 01:24:57,130 --> 01:25:00,340 let myself hurt Riley... 1970 01:25:02,140 --> 01:25:05,139 ...because I was so scared that you would find out 1971 01:25:05,140 --> 01:25:07,390 I wasn't who you wanted me to be. 1972 01:25:08,480 --> 01:25:10,269 And... 1973 01:25:10,270 --> 01:25:12,860 I still regret it. 1974 01:25:14,150 --> 01:25:17,860 I can't do that to Abby... [CHUCKLES] 1975 01:25:19,910 --> 01:25:21,700 [CRYING] ...and throw away... 1976 01:25:23,080 --> 01:25:24,660 ...our life together. 1977 01:25:27,620 --> 01:25:32,379 So I am done being scared, 1978 01:25:32,380 --> 01:25:34,880 and I am done keeping secrets. 1979 01:25:37,050 --> 01:25:38,800 I love you. 1980 01:26:03,030 --> 01:26:05,450 - Eric and I are getting a divorce. 1981 01:26:06,700 --> 01:26:09,660 We separated a few months ago. 1982 01:26:10,910 --> 01:26:12,959 And the truth is I didn't tell you 1983 01:26:12,960 --> 01:26:15,210 because without my family I'm worthless to you. 1984 01:26:16,880 --> 01:26:22,129 We've spent our entire lives trying to earn your love, 1985 01:26:22,130 --> 01:26:24,140 and I'm done, too. 1986 01:26:30,850 --> 01:26:34,350 - I don't have any secrets, but I am an ally. 1987 01:26:43,530 --> 01:26:44,950 [DISTANT DOOR CLOSES] 1988 01:26:49,040 --> 01:26:51,579 - I'm gonna go. 1989 01:26:51,580 --> 01:26:54,169 - Wait. No, no. 1990 01:26:54,170 --> 01:26:56,170 [SIGHING] 1991 01:26:57,960 --> 01:26:59,880 I did it. 1992 01:27:00,880 --> 01:27:02,590 - Mm-hmm. 1993 01:27:04,300 --> 01:27:06,849 I'm sorry. 1994 01:27:06,850 --> 01:27:09,470 Uh, it's just too late. 1995 01:27:26,410 --> 01:27:28,410 - [SOBS SOFTLY] 1996 01:27:48,680 --> 01:27:50,680 - [TAKES DEEP BREATH] 1997 01:27:52,600 --> 01:27:56,729 I have always wanted to try karate, 1998 01:27:56,730 --> 01:27:58,729 even though I know it's not elegant. 1999 01:27:58,730 --> 01:28:01,019 I hate flowers. 2000 01:28:01,020 --> 01:28:02,689 - I see what you're doing. 2001 01:28:02,690 --> 01:28:07,360 - We have been so worried about seeming perfect. 2002 01:28:09,030 --> 01:28:13,000 But maybe we don't even know what perfect is. 2003 01:28:14,040 --> 01:28:16,369 We have one daughter 2004 01:28:16,370 --> 01:28:20,379 who has been unhappy in a marriage and felt like she couldn't tell us, 2005 01:28:20,380 --> 01:28:23,669 and another daughter who... 2006 01:28:23,670 --> 01:28:27,339 [CRYING] just had her heart broken 2007 01:28:27,340 --> 01:28:30,259 because she was afraid 2008 01:28:30,260 --> 01:28:33,019 we wouldn't love her if she told us the truth. 2009 01:28:33,020 --> 01:28:35,019 And... [SNIFFLES] 2010 01:28:35,020 --> 01:28:38,649 the only reason that Jane is okay is because we gave up on her 2011 01:28:38,650 --> 01:28:41,059 after she wouldn't stop biting in preschool. 2012 01:28:41,060 --> 01:28:43,109 [TAKES DEEP, GASPING BREATH] 2013 01:28:43,110 --> 01:28:45,189 That is... 2014 01:28:45,190 --> 01:28:49,410 very far from perfect, if you ask me. 2015 01:28:57,080 --> 01:28:58,999 - Thanks. 2016 01:28:59,000 --> 01:29:01,169 - I'm really sorry. 2017 01:29:01,170 --> 01:29:02,669 - I know. 2018 01:29:02,670 --> 01:29:04,420 Me, too. 2019 01:29:05,800 --> 01:29:08,179 And, Jane, I... 2020 01:29:08,180 --> 01:29:11,639 I'm so sorry about your painting. 2021 01:29:11,640 --> 01:29:13,429 It was really beautiful. 2022 01:29:13,430 --> 01:29:15,679 - It was. 2023 01:29:15,680 --> 01:29:17,850 - Thanks, guys. 2024 01:29:23,690 --> 01:29:26,690 - He just needs a little time. 2025 01:29:31,320 --> 01:29:33,949 JOHN: Okay, listen to these ingredients: 2026 01:29:33,950 --> 01:29:35,289 maltodextrin, 2027 01:29:35,290 --> 01:29:37,999 autolyzed yeast extract, 2028 01:29:38,000 --> 01:29:40,869 artificial colors-- Red 40 Lake, 2029 01:29:40,870 --> 01:29:44,129 Yellow 6 Lake, Yellow 6, Yellow 5. 2030 01:29:44,130 --> 01:29:46,839 Because all of the yellows taste so different. 2031 01:29:46,840 --> 01:29:49,589 You know, I am disgusted at the poison 2032 01:29:49,590 --> 01:29:52,390 these corporations try to pass off as food. 2033 01:29:54,220 --> 01:29:56,099 - Who's watching the animals? 2034 01:29:56,100 --> 01:29:58,309 - My therapist is taking care of them, but we should have 2035 01:29:58,310 --> 01:30:01,270 a conversation about the fish at some point. 2036 01:30:02,560 --> 01:30:04,730 - What happened to the fish? 2037 01:30:06,860 --> 01:30:08,860 - Let's look at gum. 2038 01:30:12,950 --> 01:30:15,159 Okay, so I just want to preface this by saying that 2039 01:30:15,160 --> 01:30:17,079 nobody would disagree that fish belong in the ocean. 2040 01:30:17,080 --> 01:30:18,580 Correct? [HORN HONKING] 2041 01:30:21,210 --> 01:30:23,039 - Abby. 2042 01:30:23,040 --> 01:30:24,539 - H-How did you even-- 2043 01:30:24,540 --> 01:30:26,999 - I tracked you. John taught me. 2044 01:30:27,000 --> 01:30:28,459 - I just want to go home. 2045 01:30:28,460 --> 01:30:30,759 HARPER: I know. I just-- 2046 01:30:30,760 --> 01:30:33,140 Please, let me say this. 2047 01:30:34,180 --> 01:30:36,429 You are my family. 2048 01:30:36,430 --> 01:30:40,429 I mean, you are the love of my life. 2049 01:30:40,430 --> 01:30:41,979 I was terrible. 2050 01:30:41,980 --> 01:30:44,439 And-and I wish that I could undo everything, 2051 01:30:44,440 --> 01:30:46,819 but I promise you I will make it up to you. 2052 01:30:46,820 --> 01:30:50,189 I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. 2053 01:30:50,190 --> 01:30:52,860 And I won't hurt you like this again. 2054 01:30:54,990 --> 01:30:57,619 But please... 2055 01:30:57,620 --> 01:30:59,449 give me another chance. 2056 01:30:59,450 --> 01:31:01,910 I-I want to build a life with you. 2057 01:31:03,960 --> 01:31:05,790 Please. 2058 01:31:07,790 --> 01:31:09,379 - And what about your parents? I-- 2059 01:31:09,380 --> 01:31:11,419 - No, no, I... 2060 01:31:11,420 --> 01:31:14,129 I don't care what they think. 2061 01:31:14,130 --> 01:31:16,510 I only care about you. 2062 01:31:17,850 --> 01:31:20,470 If I have you, that's all I need. 2063 01:31:22,770 --> 01:31:24,480 Be with me. 2064 01:31:31,110 --> 01:31:33,610 ♪ uplifting music ♪ 2065 01:31:35,410 --> 01:31:37,120 - [CHUCKLES] 2066 01:31:52,550 --> 01:31:54,339 ♪ upbeat holiday music ♪ 2067 01:31:54,340 --> 01:31:55,759 JANE: So, the Shadow Dreamers 2068 01:31:55,760 --> 01:31:58,219 were compelled to rise up against Flanks. 2069 01:31:58,220 --> 01:32:00,389 JOHN: Because of the blatant Thorfian rights violations. 2070 01:32:00,390 --> 01:32:01,769 - Exactly. 2071 01:32:01,770 --> 01:32:02,849 - Good morning. 2072 01:32:02,850 --> 01:32:04,139 - Hey, morning. Merry Christmas. - Hi. 2073 01:32:04,140 --> 01:32:06,099 - Morning. HARPER: Hey, Mom. 2074 01:32:06,100 --> 01:32:07,979 - Hi. - Hi. 2075 01:32:07,980 --> 01:32:09,189 ABBY: How'd you sleep? 2076 01:32:09,190 --> 01:32:11,149 - Did he come down? 2077 01:32:11,150 --> 01:32:12,899 - No, not yet. 2078 01:32:12,900 --> 01:32:14,319 SLOANE: Everyone. 2079 01:32:14,320 --> 01:32:15,529 Go ahead, kids. 2080 01:32:15,530 --> 01:32:18,319 - We put the necklace in Abby's bag. 2081 01:32:18,320 --> 01:32:19,949 MAGNUS: We're sorry. 2082 01:32:19,950 --> 01:32:21,279 - Thank you. 2083 01:32:21,280 --> 01:32:23,369 - Can we open our stockings now? 2084 01:32:23,370 --> 01:32:25,209 - Yes. - Let's go. 2085 01:32:25,210 --> 01:32:27,290 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 2086 01:32:33,880 --> 01:32:38,219 - Uh, I have sunk almost all of our savings 2087 01:32:38,220 --> 01:32:40,219 into this campaign. 2088 01:32:40,220 --> 01:32:44,019 Because I thought, if I won, 2089 01:32:44,020 --> 01:32:46,019 you'd all be proud of me. 2090 01:32:46,020 --> 01:32:48,099 - We're already proud of you. 2091 01:32:48,100 --> 01:32:50,359 - We don't care if you win. 2092 01:32:50,360 --> 01:32:51,519 - Yeah. 2093 01:32:51,520 --> 01:32:53,439 And the money doesn't matter. 2094 01:32:53,440 --> 01:32:56,030 When I sell my book, I'll take care of all of us. 2095 01:32:59,410 --> 01:33:02,199 - I love you, girls. 2096 01:33:02,200 --> 01:33:04,999 And I'm sorry for making you think 2097 01:33:05,000 --> 01:33:08,080 that anything could ever get in the way of that. 2098 01:33:09,080 --> 01:33:10,749 I want to do better, 2099 01:33:10,750 --> 01:33:14,049 and it will take time, but all I want for you 2100 01:33:14,050 --> 01:33:16,169 is to find the same joy and happiness 2101 01:33:16,170 --> 01:33:20,799 that you have given me, no matter where it comes from. 2102 01:33:20,800 --> 01:33:22,800 - [TIPPER CHUCKLING] 2103 01:33:24,890 --> 01:33:26,679 JANE: Aw. 2104 01:33:26,680 --> 01:33:29,559 TED: Mm. - [WOMEN LAUGHING] 2105 01:33:29,560 --> 01:33:32,650 ["O HOLY NIGHT" INSTRUMENTAL PLAYING] 2106 01:33:41,410 --> 01:33:42,819 - Whoa! 2107 01:33:42,820 --> 01:33:44,119 - Smile. 2108 01:33:44,120 --> 01:33:45,489 Smile. 2109 01:33:45,490 --> 01:33:46,789 - Aw. [CAMERA CLICKS] 2110 01:33:46,790 --> 01:33:48,829 - You didn't think I knew how to do that, did you? 2111 01:33:48,830 --> 01:33:49,830 - I-- It's impressive. 2112 01:33:49,831 --> 01:33:51,750 [♪♪♪] 2113 01:34:07,350 --> 01:34:09,139 - Hello? HARRY: Merry Christmas, Ted. 2114 01:34:09,140 --> 01:34:10,729 - Merry-- HARRY: I'll get right to it. 2115 01:34:10,730 --> 01:34:13,269 I like you. I think you can win, too, 2116 01:34:13,270 --> 01:34:15,229 and not just this election. 2117 01:34:15,230 --> 01:34:17,609 - Thank you, Ms. Levin. HARRY: Hold on. There's an "if." 2118 01:34:17,610 --> 01:34:21,319 Now, I don't know if Sloane's revelation last night was true, 2119 01:34:21,320 --> 01:34:23,529 but if it is... [SIGHS] 2120 01:34:23,530 --> 01:34:27,199 and Harper can adopt a "don't ask, don't tell" policy 2121 01:34:27,200 --> 01:34:29,869 regarding her private life, 2122 01:34:29,870 --> 01:34:31,659 I think we could be in business. 2123 01:34:31,660 --> 01:34:33,670 What do you say? 2124 01:34:45,720 --> 01:34:47,309 - Well? 2125 01:34:47,310 --> 01:34:49,270 - It's not gonna work out. 2126 01:34:50,310 --> 01:34:51,559 - Oh. 2127 01:34:51,560 --> 01:34:53,230 - We'll figure something out. 2128 01:34:57,770 --> 01:34:59,569 TIPPER: Great, so-- Wait, come over here. 2129 01:34:59,570 --> 01:35:01,899 TED: Okay. Where am I? Here? TIPPER: You move there. 2130 01:35:01,900 --> 01:35:04,069 TED: Yeah, okay. Okay. TIPPER: Hi, honey. Right. 2131 01:35:04,070 --> 01:35:06,119 Um, Jane, you get in the middle. 2132 01:35:06,120 --> 01:35:07,120 - Yeah. 2133 01:35:08,160 --> 01:35:09,579 - [CHUCKLING] - Right there. 2134 01:35:09,580 --> 01:35:11,329 TIPPER: John, would you mind? 2135 01:35:11,330 --> 01:35:13,419 - Oh, I would be delighted. 2136 01:35:13,420 --> 01:35:15,539 Okay. 2137 01:35:15,540 --> 01:35:17,879 - Abby, what are you doing way over there? 2138 01:35:17,880 --> 01:35:19,499 Get in here. - Come on. 2139 01:35:19,500 --> 01:35:21,670 - [LAUGHTER] 2140 01:35:23,930 --> 01:35:26,299 - Okay. Everyone say, "Christmas." 2141 01:35:26,300 --> 01:35:28,179 - No, don't say that. - [ABBY LAUGHS] 2142 01:35:28,180 --> 01:35:30,769 ["MAKE YOU MINE THIS SEASON" BY TEGAN & SARA PLAYING] 2143 01:35:30,770 --> 01:35:31,849 [CAMERA CLICKS] 2144 01:35:31,850 --> 01:35:35,269 ♪ Somebody broke your heart ♪ 2145 01:35:35,270 --> 01:35:38,019 ♪ Under a Christmas tree... ♪ 2146 01:35:38,020 --> 01:35:40,069 JANE: "Once they cross Corvall Chasm, 2147 01:35:40,070 --> 01:35:42,239 "they will enter floam territory. 2148 01:35:42,240 --> 01:35:45,659 "The Shadow Dreamers know they might not all make it out 2149 01:35:45,660 --> 01:35:47,449 "with their Krindoll intact, 2150 01:35:47,450 --> 01:35:51,489 "but the entire Thorfian race rests on their shoulders. 2151 01:35:51,490 --> 01:35:55,999 "They look to each other and then into the darkness. 2152 01:35:56,000 --> 01:35:59,459 It is Glank who takes the first step." 2153 01:35:59,460 --> 01:36:01,840 - [CHEERING] 2154 01:36:07,550 --> 01:36:09,349 - Here you go. Thank you so much for coming. 2155 01:36:09,350 --> 01:36:10,389 MAN: Thank you. 2156 01:36:10,390 --> 01:36:11,969 JANE: Bye. - Hi. 2157 01:36:11,970 --> 01:36:13,139 JANE: Hi. - We'll meet you there? 2158 01:36:13,140 --> 01:36:14,140 - Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 2159 01:36:14,140 --> 01:36:15,140 - Okay. - Yeah, you bet. 2160 01:36:15,141 --> 01:36:16,349 - That was awesome. - Bye. 2161 01:36:16,350 --> 01:36:17,399 - Hi. - Hi. 2162 01:36:17,400 --> 01:36:18,559 - Oh. Two at a time. - Oh. 2163 01:36:18,560 --> 01:36:19,769 - Aah! - Oh, my word. - It's an onslaught. 2164 01:36:19,770 --> 01:36:21,069 [♪♪♪] 2165 01:36:21,070 --> 01:36:24,279 ♪ Make you mine, make you mine this season ♪ 2166 01:36:24,280 --> 01:36:27,779 ♪ Bells ring out on the street ♪ 2167 01:36:27,780 --> 01:36:29,909 ♪ Snow falling at our feet ♪ 2168 01:36:29,910 --> 01:36:31,779 - [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 2169 01:36:31,780 --> 01:36:34,250 ♪ Lights glowing in the trees ♪ 2170 01:36:35,540 --> 01:36:37,669 ♪ Will you dance with me? ♪ 2171 01:36:37,670 --> 01:36:41,669 ♪ Have I been good enough ♪ - [SLOANE LAUGHS] 2172 01:36:41,670 --> 01:36:45,760 ♪ To ask for your love? ♪ 2173 01:36:48,680 --> 01:36:52,309 ♪ You're the only girl I've got on my list ♪ 2174 01:36:52,310 --> 01:36:55,679 ♪ I write your name, I know it's foolish ♪ 2175 01:36:55,680 --> 01:36:59,899 ♪ But I chase the feeling 'cause you keep me dreaming ♪ 2176 01:36:59,900 --> 01:37:03,939 ♪ That I could make you mine, make you mine this season ♪ 2177 01:37:03,940 --> 01:37:06,819 ♪ I put a star on the top of my tree ♪ 2178 01:37:06,820 --> 01:37:10,659 ♪ I just want to make you mine ♪ 2179 01:37:10,660 --> 01:37:14,079 ♪ Its light is gonna lead you straight to me ♪ 2180 01:37:14,080 --> 01:37:17,710 ♪ I just want to make you mine. ♪ 2181 01:37:22,380 --> 01:37:24,379 [SONG FADES] ["THINK OF CHRISTMAS" BY ANNE-MARIE BEGINS] 2182 01:37:24,380 --> 01:37:28,549 ♪ When I think of Christmas ♪ 2183 01:37:28,550 --> 01:37:30,760 ♪ I think of you ♪ 2184 01:37:41,440 --> 01:37:44,189 ♪ Remember the snow angels ♪ 2185 01:37:44,190 --> 01:37:46,569 ♪ Unorthodox anecdotes ♪ 2186 01:37:46,570 --> 01:37:49,399 ♪ About how it's never home ♪ 2187 01:37:49,400 --> 01:37:52,119 ♪ Hmm, unless you're here ♪ 2188 01:37:52,120 --> 01:37:54,779 ♪ Don't matter how deep the snow ♪ 2189 01:37:54,780 --> 01:37:57,499 ♪ Don't matter how cold it goes ♪ 2190 01:37:57,500 --> 01:37:59,999 ♪ I've already made it home ♪ 2191 01:38:00,000 --> 01:38:02,329 ♪ Hmm, because you're here ♪ 2192 01:38:02,330 --> 01:38:05,129 ♪ Still at the kids' table even though we're grown ♪ 2193 01:38:05,130 --> 01:38:07,799 ♪ Hands on my kneecap underneath the table ♪ 2194 01:38:07,800 --> 01:38:10,629 ♪ We got a secret only you and me know ♪ 2195 01:38:10,630 --> 01:38:12,929 ♪ But they know 'cause ♪ 2196 01:38:12,930 --> 01:38:16,099 ♪ A love like ours comes with the brightest of halos ♪ 2197 01:38:16,100 --> 01:38:17,519 ♪ Yeah, they know ♪ 2198 01:38:17,520 --> 01:38:22,019 ♪ That when I think of Christmas ♪ 2199 01:38:22,020 --> 01:38:25,649 ♪ I think of you and me and a classic kiss ♪ 2200 01:38:25,650 --> 01:38:28,569 ♪ Modern love is what it is ♪ 2201 01:38:28,570 --> 01:38:32,569 ♪ When I think of Christmas ♪ 2202 01:38:32,570 --> 01:38:35,949 ♪ I think of nothing more, nothing to do ♪ 2203 01:38:35,950 --> 01:38:38,909 ♪ Unwrap myself in front of you ♪ 2204 01:38:38,910 --> 01:38:43,209 ♪ When I think of Christmas ♪ 2205 01:38:43,210 --> 01:38:45,500 ♪ I think of you ♪ 2206 01:38:48,590 --> 01:38:50,970 ♪ I think of you ♪ 2207 01:38:56,140 --> 01:38:58,809 ♪ Rewriting my memories ♪ 2208 01:38:58,810 --> 01:39:01,229 ♪ Creating new history ♪ 2209 01:39:01,230 --> 01:39:04,059 ♪ And the season feels new to me ♪ 2210 01:39:04,060 --> 01:39:06,359 ♪ Huh, because you're here ♪ 2211 01:39:06,360 --> 01:39:09,109 ♪ Still at the kids' table even though we're grown ♪ 2212 01:39:09,110 --> 01:39:11,819 ♪ Hands on my kneecap underneath the table ♪ 2213 01:39:11,820 --> 01:39:14,909 ♪ We got a secret only you and me know ♪ 2214 01:39:14,910 --> 01:39:16,949 ♪ But they know 'cause ♪ 2215 01:39:16,950 --> 01:39:20,119 ♪ A love like ours comes with the brightest of halos ♪ 2216 01:39:20,120 --> 01:39:21,449 ♪ Yeah, they know ♪ 2217 01:39:21,450 --> 01:39:25,999 ♪ That when I think of Christmas ♪ 2218 01:39:26,000 --> 01:39:29,669 ♪ I think of you and me and a classic kiss ♪ 2219 01:39:29,670 --> 01:39:32,549 ♪ Modern love is what it is ♪ 2220 01:39:32,550 --> 01:39:36,469 ♪ When I think of Christmas ♪ 2221 01:39:36,470 --> 01:39:40,099 ♪ I think of nothing more, nothing to do ♪ 2222 01:39:40,100 --> 01:39:42,979 ♪ Unwrap myself in front of you ♪ 2223 01:39:42,980 --> 01:39:47,309 ♪ When I think of Christmas ♪ 2224 01:39:47,310 --> 01:39:49,690 ♪ I think of you ♪ 2225 01:39:52,780 --> 01:39:55,240 ♪ I think of you ♪ 2226 01:39:58,200 --> 01:40:00,660 ♪ I think of you ♪ 2227 01:40:04,580 --> 01:40:08,789 ♪ When I think of Christmas ♪ 2228 01:40:08,790 --> 01:40:11,209 ♪ I think of you. ♪ [SONG ENDS] 2229 01:40:11,210 --> 01:40:13,210 ♪ joyous holiday music ♪ 2230 01:40:43,240 --> 01:40:45,250 [♪♪♪] 2231 01:41:04,220 --> 01:41:06,230 ["JINGLE BELLS" INSTRUMENTAL PLAYS] 2232 01:41:36,260 --> 01:41:38,260 [♪♪♪] 2233 01:41:41,090 --> 01:41:43,100 [MUSIC ENDS]