1 00:02:36,004 --> 00:02:37,254 Enough of that for now. 2 00:02:44,610 --> 00:02:46,260 What do you want me to do then? 3 00:02:51,150 --> 00:02:54,350 I just want you to hold me for a few minutes 4 00:02:56,130 --> 00:02:57,130 like this 5 00:02:59,170 --> 00:03:00,513 just until I fall asleep. 6 00:03:03,764 --> 00:03:04,764 Is that okay? 7 00:03:05,450 --> 00:03:06,653 Whatever you want. 8 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:10,743 Once I'm asleep, you can leave. 9 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,460 I'll leave when your time is up. 10 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:19,303 Thank you, Aaron. 11 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,829 What's the matter? 12 00:05:37,830 --> 00:05:38,909 Nothing. 13 00:05:38,910 --> 00:05:39,910 I've missed you. 14 00:05:40,603 --> 00:05:42,030 Okay. 15 00:05:42,031 --> 00:05:43,526 What? 16 00:05:43,527 --> 00:05:45,269 You're just acting really strange. 17 00:05:45,270 --> 00:05:47,799 I just thought I'd put a bit of effort in. 18 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,371 Just wanted to greet you. 19 00:05:49,372 --> 00:05:50,320 Okay. 20 00:05:50,321 --> 00:05:51,569 Welcome home. 21 00:05:51,570 --> 00:05:52,570 Thanks. 22 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:56,759 Sometimes I think I'm waking up from a dream. 23 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:57,939 I lay still in think, 24 00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:00,323 was that what I just experienced not real? 25 00:06:01,580 --> 00:06:02,413 And then sit up, 26 00:06:02,414 --> 00:06:05,229 look around and realize that I'm still in the dream. 27 00:06:05,230 --> 00:06:06,823 And my life is one long sleep. 28 00:06:09,890 --> 00:06:12,089 Shame you can't stay a little longer. 29 00:06:12,090 --> 00:06:13,529 I can. 30 00:06:13,530 --> 00:06:14,663 I meant for free. 31 00:06:16,164 --> 00:06:18,683 I wouldn't be running a business if I stayed for free. 32 00:06:19,570 --> 00:06:20,570 I guess. 33 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:22,760 I'll be back soon. 34 00:06:24,790 --> 00:06:26,470 Have you ever thought about giving it up? 35 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:29,880 I can't. 36 00:06:31,093 --> 00:06:33,119 Well. You could. 37 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:35,470 You could get a normal job like everybody else. 38 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,069 What about you? 39 00:06:39,070 --> 00:06:41,649 You could go on a date, like normal people. 40 00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:43,550 You don't have to pay someone like me. 41 00:06:44,557 --> 00:06:46,528 There's no fun in that though, is there? 42 00:06:46,529 --> 00:06:47,529 In what way? 43 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:49,593 Have you heard the saying 44 00:06:49,594 --> 00:06:51,270 don't bite the hand that feeds you? 45 00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:53,750 You'd be surprised. 46 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:55,777 You have then. 47 00:06:59,362 --> 00:07:02,469 Look, I'm not paying mind games. 48 00:07:02,470 --> 00:07:03,470 Just ignore me. 49 00:07:04,562 --> 00:07:08,863 No. I guess I'm just introverted or something. 50 00:07:08,864 --> 00:07:11,989 You just lack a bit of confidence. 51 00:07:11,990 --> 00:07:14,200 That's what you're here for now, isn't it? 52 00:07:15,470 --> 00:07:18,213 I guess so. 53 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,009 Thanks. 54 00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:26,117 Spend it all at once. 55 00:07:26,118 --> 00:07:27,118 What? 56 00:07:28,108 --> 00:07:29,108 Why'd you say that? 57 00:07:29,860 --> 00:07:31,510 So you need more and come back. 58 00:07:32,390 --> 00:07:34,049 I'll be back. 59 00:07:34,050 --> 00:07:35,679 Good. 60 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:36,909 Text me. 61 00:07:36,910 --> 00:07:37,910 Yeah I will. 62 00:07:38,871 --> 00:07:40,021 Well I better go now. 63 00:07:41,232 --> 00:07:42,492 Bye. 64 00:07:42,493 --> 00:07:43,493 Bye. 65 00:07:51,940 --> 00:07:54,519 Oh, listen kiddo. 66 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,089 I know I haven't done much about you 67 00:07:57,090 --> 00:07:59,259 in terms of helping out 68 00:07:59,260 --> 00:08:01,057 or anything like that. 69 00:08:02,176 --> 00:08:03,962 I'm hardly a good godmother, am I? 70 00:08:03,963 --> 00:08:05,259 Don't say that, Aunt Meg. 71 00:08:05,260 --> 00:08:06,410 I'll say what I like. 72 00:08:07,380 --> 00:08:10,249 Your mom loved my unfiltered tongue. 73 00:08:10,250 --> 00:08:12,157 - We all do. - Yeah, good. 74 00:08:13,483 --> 00:08:14,483 Good. 75 00:08:17,186 --> 00:08:18,269 That's good. 76 00:08:19,312 --> 00:08:22,272 There was something I was trying to say. 77 00:08:22,273 --> 00:08:24,773 And it is something that would 78 00:08:26,967 --> 00:08:29,773 serve you currently in this life. 79 00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:33,309 It's the one thing I think I'd like you 80 00:08:33,310 --> 00:08:34,783 to take away from me. 81 00:08:36,704 --> 00:08:38,037 So, here you go. 82 00:08:41,670 --> 00:08:43,349 In this life, 83 00:08:43,350 --> 00:08:44,350 it's recommended to, 84 00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:50,133 yeah, recommended, 85 00:08:51,272 --> 00:08:53,173 to have a short-term memory. 86 00:08:54,370 --> 00:08:56,679 Don't cling to the past 87 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,693 or the past you for that long. 88 00:08:58,694 --> 00:09:02,079 And let life weather you and change you 89 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,263 as you grow old and wise. 90 00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:09,030 If you do cling to it and all of that, 91 00:09:11,005 --> 00:09:12,105 it won't go that well. 92 00:09:13,230 --> 00:09:14,606 Okay. 93 00:09:14,607 --> 00:09:16,550 Okay, I'll bear that in mind. 94 00:09:17,601 --> 00:09:18,684 Good, good. 95 00:09:19,857 --> 00:09:22,363 You should listen to me. I've got a lot. 96 00:09:23,245 --> 00:09:25,980 I've got a lot going on up here, 97 00:09:25,981 --> 00:09:29,283 and it would be a shame to let it go to waste. 98 00:09:39,310 --> 00:09:41,419 I know this is not my usual meeting, 99 00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:44,040 but I just really needed to come in and 100 00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:47,003 just be around people. 101 00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:52,703 Last week was my son's birthday. 102 00:09:54,530 --> 00:09:55,530 And, 103 00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:01,049 because I had managed to hit the bottle 104 00:10:01,050 --> 00:10:02,813 one more fucking time, 105 00:10:04,850 --> 00:10:06,603 I was asleep in some gutter. 106 00:10:09,780 --> 00:10:11,999 And I woke up to the next morning and I realized that 107 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,683 I missed his birthday, 108 00:10:15,530 --> 00:10:17,173 and it really got me thinking, 109 00:10:20,150 --> 00:10:21,633 am I a bad mother? 110 00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:26,252 And I know hand on heart 111 00:10:26,253 --> 00:10:28,083 that I haven't been that great, 112 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:35,630 but I just hope that somehow he, he never felt that. 113 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:44,659 I went home and got dressed and cleaned myself up 114 00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:48,013 and picked up the gift I had for him. 115 00:10:50,860 --> 00:10:54,580 I, I didn't really know what it get him. 116 00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,123 You know, it was just a toy car. 117 00:11:00,820 --> 00:11:02,813 I wasn't sure what he was into, 118 00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:08,319 but I thought, you know, 119 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:11,103 every five-year-old likes to play with a toy car. 120 00:11:14,850 --> 00:11:19,850 So I went to their house and I was ready to ring the bell. 121 00:11:21,590 --> 00:11:23,110 When my stomach just went. 122 00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:31,450 All I could picture was my ex-husband looking down at me 123 00:11:32,580 --> 00:11:35,159 and telling his new girlfriend 124 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:37,619 what a miserable human being I am, 125 00:11:37,620 --> 00:11:42,620 and how I managed to screw up everything once again. 126 00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:50,059 And I didn't really know what to do. 127 00:11:50,060 --> 00:11:52,710 So I sat down on the steps 128 00:11:55,630 --> 00:11:59,113 and then I heard the door open behind me. 129 00:12:02,740 --> 00:12:05,203 And I looked up and my son was there. 130 00:12:08,370 --> 00:12:09,553 He was in his pajamas. 131 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:12,729 I was in such a hurry, 132 00:12:12,730 --> 00:12:15,630 I didn't even realize that it was so early in the morning. 133 00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:24,313 And he came out of the house and sat down next to me. 134 00:12:27,608 --> 00:12:31,793 He just reached over and hugged me. 135 00:12:33,630 --> 00:12:35,913 He didn't even notice the gift. 136 00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:44,383 All he wanted for me to stop crying. 137 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,383 He said, stop crying. And he shook his finger at me. 138 00:12:54,370 --> 00:12:59,370 And then he took my hand and we walked into the house. 139 00:13:05,070 --> 00:13:09,860 I guess the whole point why I'm telling you this 140 00:13:12,210 --> 00:13:14,219 is that this is the reason 141 00:13:14,220 --> 00:13:16,643 I want to keep working this program. 142 00:13:19,430 --> 00:13:23,303 I really want to get this habit under control. 143 00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:29,770 'Cause I can't keep relapsing every few months. 144 00:13:34,370 --> 00:13:38,077 And I also just wanted you to know that sometimes, 145 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:45,240 someone will just take your hand and tell you that, 146 00:13:45,730 --> 00:13:48,003 stop beating yourself up. 147 00:13:49,460 --> 00:13:54,460 And that sometimes that person might be the reason 148 00:13:58,643 --> 00:14:01,143 you're going to be able to get back on track. 149 00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:08,843 And in my case, that somebody is my son. 150 00:14:12,290 --> 00:14:14,213 My Knight in shining armor. 151 00:14:19,216 --> 00:14:20,466 And I love him. 152 00:14:22,380 --> 00:14:23,380 And he loves me. 153 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:29,323 So that's why I'm here again, 154 00:14:31,340 --> 00:14:32,603 back to square one. 155 00:14:35,340 --> 00:14:36,393 One week sober. 156 00:14:44,781 --> 00:14:46,180 There's nothing wrong with me. 157 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,019 Seriously, there's nothing wrong with me. 158 00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:54,123 Nada. Nothing, zilch. 159 00:14:56,251 --> 00:14:58,530 So I said to him, come here, you twat. 160 00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,753 What does he expect from a girl like me? 161 00:15:02,150 --> 00:15:04,265 He wants to take me in an alley. 162 00:15:05,191 --> 00:15:06,793 So I just take some of the wounds. 163 00:15:08,277 --> 00:15:11,113 Seriously Alice, you're just drunk. 164 00:15:11,114 --> 00:15:13,531 No I'm not. Don't say that. 165 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,040 I've missed you. 166 00:18:54,510 --> 00:18:55,510 Good to hear. 167 00:18:57,420 --> 00:19:00,039 I wish we'd see each other more often. 168 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:01,560 Well, all you have to do is call me. 169 00:19:04,190 --> 00:19:07,339 I know, but you know what it's like. 170 00:19:07,340 --> 00:19:08,947 Don't get much time off. 171 00:19:10,020 --> 00:19:12,279 Well, and you're not always in the country. 172 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:13,280 Yeah, true. 173 00:19:17,770 --> 00:19:19,829 Well, trust me, 174 00:19:19,830 --> 00:19:22,182 you shouldn't fuss. 175 00:19:22,183 --> 00:19:24,678 I'm here whenever you want me, 176 00:19:24,679 --> 00:19:27,179 and well, something like that. 177 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:31,643 Tell me something. 178 00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:34,360 Like what? 179 00:19:36,203 --> 00:19:39,909 Like the kind of stuff we should be doing 180 00:19:39,910 --> 00:19:42,363 rather than just hanging out, getting drunk together. 181 00:19:46,987 --> 00:19:49,636 Well we can do whatever you want. 182 00:19:49,637 --> 00:19:52,449 Aren't we supposed to do something? 183 00:19:52,450 --> 00:19:53,450 Like what? 184 00:19:55,090 --> 00:19:56,283 I'll repeat myself. 185 00:19:57,236 --> 00:20:00,253 Aren't we supposed to do something? 186 00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:08,377 Well, if you have something in mind, just ask. 187 00:20:10,490 --> 00:20:12,990 I feel like I'm paying you just to be my friend. 188 00:20:15,010 --> 00:20:16,560 To a certain degree, you are. 189 00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,918 Do people usually do that? 190 00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:24,559 I thought that's what you wanted. 191 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:25,560 I do. 192 00:20:26,503 --> 00:20:28,594 So what's the problem? 193 00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:30,279 I don't know. 194 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:33,073 I guess I just feel jealous of your other clients. 195 00:20:34,590 --> 00:20:35,683 Are they nice people? 196 00:20:39,610 --> 00:20:40,660 I'm here right now. 197 00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:43,789 And what have you got to be jealous about? 198 00:20:43,790 --> 00:20:46,353 Trust me. You have no reason to be jealous. 199 00:20:47,740 --> 00:20:49,303 Well, I've decided I am. 200 00:20:52,380 --> 00:20:55,023 So what can I do to remedy that? 201 00:20:56,271 --> 00:20:58,113 I feel like we're going in circles here. 202 00:20:59,379 --> 00:21:00,852 Well, that's life. 203 00:21:00,853 --> 00:21:03,519 It's a strange loop. 204 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:05,919 Things get lost- Nope, that's too brainy 205 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,391 for me to process at the moment. 206 00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:09,225 By the sound of it, 207 00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:10,426 too much thinking for you too. 208 00:21:13,109 --> 00:21:15,942 Look. I don't want to do anything. 209 00:21:18,067 --> 00:21:19,067 But... 210 00:21:22,635 --> 00:21:23,635 But? 211 00:21:25,270 --> 00:21:27,020 I want to see what you look like. 212 00:21:28,224 --> 00:21:29,224 That's all. 213 00:21:30,425 --> 00:21:31,675 If that's okay. 214 00:21:33,015 --> 00:21:34,015 Okay. 215 00:22:02,634 --> 00:22:06,069 Put your shirt back on and come and sit next to me. 216 00:22:06,070 --> 00:22:07,620 I don't know what came over me. 217 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:11,680 Don't worry. 218 00:22:12,437 --> 00:22:13,937 You're too kind. 219 00:22:16,301 --> 00:22:18,339 Well, I'm on the clock. 220 00:22:18,340 --> 00:22:20,619 Does that mean you'll do anything I ask? 221 00:22:20,620 --> 00:22:21,870 Anything within reason. 222 00:22:23,490 --> 00:22:24,593 You're patient. 223 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,203 Not many people are nowadays. 224 00:22:28,330 --> 00:22:29,330 I wish they were. 225 00:22:38,810 --> 00:22:40,603 Something's the matter with us. 226 00:22:42,501 --> 00:22:45,751 We just can't seem to get things right. 227 00:22:46,589 --> 00:22:47,869 Everything's gonna be alright. 228 00:22:50,510 --> 00:22:51,510 Tell me something. 229 00:22:52,500 --> 00:22:55,050 When was the last time things were good between us? 230 00:22:55,968 --> 00:22:57,689 Don't know. 231 00:22:57,690 --> 00:23:00,473 Do you reckon we'll ever get back to where we were before? 232 00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:02,296 Don't know. 233 00:23:02,297 --> 00:23:03,663 What do you know? 234 00:23:05,090 --> 00:23:06,490 We're younger. Maybe we... 235 00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:10,059 I hate it when you just trail off like that. 236 00:23:10,060 --> 00:23:11,060 But we're young. 237 00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:13,799 Maybe we moved in together too quickly 238 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:14,950 or something like that. 239 00:23:16,590 --> 00:23:17,603 So what now? 240 00:23:19,980 --> 00:23:22,229 Feels like you've got something to say. 241 00:23:22,230 --> 00:23:24,263 Yeah, I guess so. 242 00:23:27,014 --> 00:23:27,847 At least I know you well enough to know 243 00:23:27,848 --> 00:23:29,299 when you're trying to say something. 244 00:23:29,300 --> 00:23:32,129 I think maybe just for now, 245 00:23:32,130 --> 00:23:33,680 we should take some time apart. 246 00:23:34,700 --> 00:23:36,950 I mean, I don't even know why we're together. 247 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,049 If we don't? 248 00:23:40,050 --> 00:23:41,750 I think it might be good for us. 249 00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:45,090 Okay. 250 00:25:04,617 --> 00:25:06,367 Goodnight, Heather. 251 00:25:14,587 --> 00:25:16,333 - Aaron. - Yeah. 252 00:25:18,641 --> 00:25:20,641 I worry about you sometimes, you know. 253 00:25:22,030 --> 00:25:23,379 You should probably cut back on your drinking. 254 00:25:23,380 --> 00:25:24,630 It can't be good for you. 255 00:25:29,928 --> 00:25:32,189 What do you suggest? 256 00:25:32,190 --> 00:25:33,633 Oh, get some help. 257 00:25:35,950 --> 00:25:36,950 What kind of help? 258 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:40,390 Have you tried a support meeting? 259 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:43,720 Harris Road. 260 00:25:48,660 --> 00:25:50,646 Used to be a row of houses there. 261 00:25:50,647 --> 00:25:52,183 And one of them was, 262 00:25:53,930 --> 00:25:54,930 was run down, 263 00:25:56,823 --> 00:25:59,930 un-occupied or the owner had gone away. 264 00:26:02,010 --> 00:26:03,513 Anyway, it was empty. 265 00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:11,680 Kind of three room build with an old kitchen out the back, 266 00:26:12,550 --> 00:26:14,337 very little worked out there and, 267 00:26:16,435 --> 00:26:21,099 and a staircase that was in bad need of repair, 268 00:26:21,100 --> 00:26:23,823 a front room with a fire that certainly didn't work. 269 00:26:25,590 --> 00:26:29,019 But that used to be our kind of little hideaway. 270 00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:33,219 We would, we'd gather up there and you know, 271 00:26:33,220 --> 00:26:37,440 we'd take bags of drink and food and music 272 00:26:40,539 --> 00:26:45,539 and just hang out, you know, have fun, 273 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:47,940 enjoy ourselves like you do when you're young. 274 00:26:49,850 --> 00:26:53,149 And sometimes we'd stay there all night. 275 00:26:53,150 --> 00:26:56,979 You know, the dawn would come breaking through. 276 00:26:56,980 --> 00:27:01,980 We'd clear up, be on our way, leave, 277 00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:04,473 get on with what we're supposed to be doing. 278 00:27:05,980 --> 00:27:08,864 I remember that for years until 279 00:27:08,865 --> 00:27:13,143 it was time to go off to university. 280 00:27:14,709 --> 00:27:18,721 And that just like so many other things in your life, 281 00:27:18,722 --> 00:27:21,889 it just faded away. 282 00:27:21,890 --> 00:27:26,139 It just disappeared back into some other place in, 283 00:27:26,140 --> 00:27:27,603 in your memories. 284 00:27:30,848 --> 00:27:32,080 Then... 285 00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,849 Well, you know, three years, university. 286 00:27:37,850 --> 00:27:42,649 Come back, I needed to stay with my folks. 287 00:27:42,650 --> 00:27:46,049 And like you do, 288 00:27:46,050 --> 00:27:50,339 you find yourself looking back at things in the past. 289 00:27:50,340 --> 00:27:54,629 So of course I find myself going back down that road 290 00:27:54,630 --> 00:27:58,737 and looking at that old house, but wow. 291 00:28:03,570 --> 00:28:04,719 It looked different. 292 00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:05,820 There was a different, 293 00:28:07,590 --> 00:28:10,139 I wouldn't say ethos, but there was a different energy now. 294 00:28:10,140 --> 00:28:11,349 There was a, 295 00:28:11,350 --> 00:28:14,129 it was more like the kind of place that gangs would hang out 296 00:28:14,130 --> 00:28:19,130 and by gangs, I mean not good people, you know. 297 00:28:20,410 --> 00:28:23,379 The place was just broken. 298 00:28:23,380 --> 00:28:25,813 It was smashed, you know, it was wrecked. 299 00:28:29,156 --> 00:28:30,606 There was blood on the walls. 300 00:28:34,110 --> 00:28:37,043 Saw someone's tooth on the floor. 301 00:28:38,050 --> 00:28:40,472 It was that kind of place. 302 00:28:40,473 --> 00:28:44,650 A place where these gangs obviously had their meetings 303 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:47,433 and their beatings, I would think. 304 00:28:48,620 --> 00:28:52,429 Anyway, times change, don't they? 305 00:28:52,430 --> 00:28:53,680 You know, things move on. 306 00:28:56,120 --> 00:29:01,120 But then one evening I was walking by and there was 307 00:29:02,943 --> 00:29:07,819 a light on in the building and some music coming out. 308 00:29:07,820 --> 00:29:12,399 But the thing was that, the music was from my time, 309 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,099 from the time I used to be there, 310 00:29:14,100 --> 00:29:16,723 when I was there with my mates, a different time. 311 00:29:18,290 --> 00:29:21,569 So I had to go and have a look. 312 00:29:21,570 --> 00:29:24,035 I went up the garden, pass the door, 313 00:29:24,036 --> 00:29:25,049 to see if it was open. 314 00:29:25,050 --> 00:29:26,373 I went in and, 315 00:29:32,460 --> 00:29:34,067 that's when I first saw her. 316 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:37,680 Mindy. 317 00:29:39,580 --> 00:29:40,580 She was, 318 00:29:45,030 --> 00:29:46,780 she was stretched out on the floor. 319 00:29:48,736 --> 00:29:50,807 It could have been comatose for all I know, 320 00:29:50,808 --> 00:29:54,083 but there she was, completely out. 321 00:29:56,630 --> 00:30:01,630 So, I try to revive her and call an ambulance, 322 00:30:06,310 --> 00:30:08,953 got her off to the hospital. 323 00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:17,123 See I'm, you must excuse me, 324 00:30:19,923 --> 00:30:21,353 I'm not in recovery. 325 00:30:22,456 --> 00:30:25,567 I've never been in the place that I expect 326 00:30:25,568 --> 00:30:28,621 some of you people have been. 327 00:30:28,622 --> 00:30:33,622 I'm just here to tell Mindy's story. 328 00:30:34,410 --> 00:30:37,513 Mindy, my wife. 329 00:30:40,130 --> 00:30:45,130 We got to the hospital and they pumped her stomach out. 330 00:30:47,955 --> 00:30:51,263 Got her sorted, got her back on her feet. 331 00:30:53,150 --> 00:30:56,020 And in the way things do, 332 00:30:56,021 --> 00:30:58,413 we started to see each other. 333 00:30:59,386 --> 00:31:00,789 And I know it's a cliche, 334 00:31:00,790 --> 00:31:03,129 but one thing leads to another and then we start dating 335 00:31:03,130 --> 00:31:05,433 and then we go out together and, 336 00:31:09,523 --> 00:31:11,020 then we got married, 337 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:15,809 and everything was fine. 338 00:31:15,810 --> 00:31:17,859 Everything was going the way you'd want it to go. 339 00:31:17,860 --> 00:31:20,143 And then better still, 340 00:31:21,660 --> 00:31:24,733 she's pregnant with our first child. 341 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:32,283 We weren't to know that, 342 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:37,150 that triggered something, that, 343 00:31:39,650 --> 00:31:43,579 if she got stressed, then she needed a drink. 344 00:31:43,580 --> 00:31:45,167 That's it. 345 00:31:45,168 --> 00:31:48,913 And I'm sure you know that she needed a drink, 346 00:31:50,030 --> 00:31:51,030 but we managed. 347 00:31:52,534 --> 00:31:55,593 It didn't get out of hand. It stayed okay. 348 00:31:56,430 --> 00:32:01,430 I'd found ways in which I could support her. 349 00:32:02,780 --> 00:32:05,883 And we went on, happy families, 350 00:32:09,250 --> 00:32:11,773 and then we had another baby. 351 00:32:12,830 --> 00:32:15,593 So there we were, the four of us. 352 00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:25,233 But if things got really stressed, she'd go out. 353 00:32:26,539 --> 00:32:28,013 End up in a pub. 354 00:32:28,910 --> 00:32:31,279 Bar, or wherever, it doesn't matter, does it really, 355 00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:33,130 where you get the drink, 356 00:32:33,131 --> 00:32:34,143 but you get the drink. 357 00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:40,973 And I don't need to tell you, do I? 358 00:32:42,730 --> 00:32:43,980 That she'd have too many, 359 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:50,000 but, and what a but, what a but, 360 00:32:53,070 --> 00:32:56,027 she'd get in the car, you see, and, I don't know. 361 00:32:57,760 --> 00:32:58,593 'Cause I've never been like that. 362 00:32:58,593 --> 00:32:59,530 But I suppose you get so drunk 363 00:32:59,531 --> 00:33:01,549 you think there's nothing can touch you, 364 00:33:01,550 --> 00:33:02,619 nothing you can't do. 365 00:33:02,620 --> 00:33:07,434 So I always thought I did everything I could to 366 00:33:07,435 --> 00:33:09,943 not let that happen. 367 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:15,169 But I didn't. 368 00:33:15,170 --> 00:33:20,170 She, this one night, 369 00:33:23,180 --> 00:33:25,639 she had got in the car, she drove the car. 370 00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:28,253 She crashed the car. She killed herself. 371 00:33:30,980 --> 00:33:32,580 And she killed two other people. 372 00:33:42,381 --> 00:33:44,381 And that's why I'm here. 373 00:33:45,860 --> 00:33:47,857 Every year on this day, 374 00:33:50,925 --> 00:33:51,925 the day that Mindy died, 375 00:33:54,477 --> 00:33:57,473 I come to a meeting and I tell this story. 376 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:03,239 And the reason I tell you is 377 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:04,779 not because I'm recovering, 378 00:34:04,780 --> 00:34:09,780 but because you all have loved ones, 379 00:34:13,010 --> 00:34:18,010 you all have people who care for you, and need you. 380 00:34:22,580 --> 00:34:27,233 So if you do fall off, and you know it can happen, 381 00:34:28,620 --> 00:34:30,263 and you will have that drink, 382 00:34:33,100 --> 00:34:37,193 don't, please, don't get in a car. 383 00:34:40,467 --> 00:34:42,223 'Cause that's what can happen. 384 00:34:44,650 --> 00:34:49,650 Bad, dangerous things can happen. 385 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:57,598 I still think over and over and over and over and over 386 00:34:57,599 --> 00:34:59,599 and over and over again. 387 00:35:00,570 --> 00:35:03,199 What could I have done differently? 388 00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:06,309 What could I have done that she wouldn't have got behind 389 00:35:06,310 --> 00:35:08,859 the wheel of that car? 390 00:35:08,860 --> 00:35:12,807 I can't imagine the families of those two other people, 391 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:17,510 losing their loved ones 392 00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:20,887 in a way that didn't have to happen. 393 00:35:22,202 --> 00:35:24,285 It didn't have to happen. 394 00:35:26,187 --> 00:35:27,743 And our two kids, 395 00:35:29,158 --> 00:35:32,581 they live with that. 396 00:35:32,582 --> 00:35:33,890 They live without their mother, 397 00:35:33,891 --> 00:35:36,637 with their dead mother in their mind, in their heart. 398 00:35:39,094 --> 00:35:40,244 And those other people. 399 00:35:46,190 --> 00:35:47,190 So please. 400 00:35:49,729 --> 00:35:50,729 Please. 401 00:35:53,395 --> 00:35:55,228 Don't do this, anyone. 402 00:38:35,727 --> 00:38:37,683 I know my work keeps me busy. 403 00:38:38,970 --> 00:38:41,923 Flying around, going to boring business meetings. 404 00:38:42,860 --> 00:38:43,790 But at the end of the day, 405 00:38:43,791 --> 00:38:45,523 I really need to start dating. 406 00:38:46,420 --> 00:38:47,843 To meet a nice guy. 407 00:38:49,350 --> 00:38:50,433 And then there's you. 408 00:38:52,096 --> 00:38:54,033 You're the one thing that holds me back. 409 00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:56,463 My anchor I can't keep. 410 00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:59,319 You're always there at the end of the phone, 411 00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:01,883 waiting like some sort of puppy or something. 412 00:39:03,418 --> 00:39:05,169 Well, if you don't want me to be here, 413 00:39:05,170 --> 00:39:06,573 I don't have to be. 414 00:39:07,420 --> 00:39:09,179 That's just it. 415 00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:13,056 I do want you here. 416 00:39:13,057 --> 00:39:14,243 You'll meet someone. 417 00:39:15,589 --> 00:39:17,523 And then I'll be kicked to the curb. 418 00:39:18,530 --> 00:39:20,403 I don't want to kick you to the curb. 419 00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:24,260 That's what everyone says. 420 00:39:26,870 --> 00:39:29,309 I guess if I do meet someone, 421 00:39:29,310 --> 00:39:31,513 then you'll no longer be needed. 422 00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:34,033 And kicked to the curb. 423 00:39:35,630 --> 00:39:38,646 Well I don't know about kicked as much, 424 00:39:38,647 --> 00:39:41,269 but you'd be my indiscretion. 425 00:39:41,270 --> 00:39:42,653 Well, my past one at least. 426 00:39:43,590 --> 00:39:45,529 So, yeah. 427 00:39:45,530 --> 00:39:48,003 I guess you'd have to disappear. 428 00:39:49,210 --> 00:39:50,310 That's my specialty. 429 00:39:51,810 --> 00:39:52,810 What is? 430 00:39:53,750 --> 00:39:54,750 Disappearing. 431 00:39:55,963 --> 00:39:57,913 Well, don't disappear too soon. 432 00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:03,043 I need you, just for a few more days. 433 00:40:03,911 --> 00:40:05,578 Whatever you want. 434 00:40:10,710 --> 00:40:11,710 Wanna get drunk? 435 00:40:12,750 --> 00:40:13,750 Sure. 436 00:40:25,371 --> 00:40:26,371 Sorry. 437 00:40:28,310 --> 00:40:30,099 I must have fallen asleep. 438 00:40:30,100 --> 00:40:31,659 I thought as much. 439 00:40:31,660 --> 00:40:34,060 - Sorry about that. - You can stop apologizing. 440 00:40:34,940 --> 00:40:35,800 I didn't mean to keep you waiting. 441 00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:36,800 No no. 442 00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:40,733 Don't be angry. 443 00:40:42,260 --> 00:40:45,283 Just bored, then I just start thinking. 444 00:40:48,010 --> 00:40:52,799 Listen, over the past few days, rather weeks, 445 00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:54,909 we've started to notice what I can best describe 446 00:40:54,910 --> 00:40:56,943 as a drop in attention on your part. 447 00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:01,479 This may be an office job, and not what you're used to, 448 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:02,480 or interested in, 449 00:41:03,472 --> 00:41:06,149 and that's started to become very clear to us. 450 00:41:06,150 --> 00:41:08,089 The fact that you've had several written warnings- 451 00:41:08,090 --> 00:41:09,140 - Can I just say that 452 00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:12,879 I'm really sorry for how I've been recently. 453 00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:14,909 You know that I'm really really trying 454 00:41:14,910 --> 00:41:16,310 to get my act back together. 455 00:41:19,066 --> 00:41:21,729 Look, Vicky, I know I'm not the best employee, 456 00:41:21,730 --> 00:41:25,309 but I am trying really hard, 457 00:41:25,310 --> 00:41:26,469 'cause you've not seen the best of me yet, 458 00:41:26,470 --> 00:41:27,889 and I know that I can do work 459 00:41:27,890 --> 00:41:29,659 that's better than what I've been doing. 460 00:41:29,660 --> 00:41:33,939 Just gotta get my head clear and all that, 461 00:41:33,940 --> 00:41:37,483 and get back on track, and on time, and awake. 462 00:41:38,500 --> 00:41:42,313 Everything that's needed to produce better work. 463 00:41:45,340 --> 00:41:47,009 As I'm sure you'd appreciate, Alice, 464 00:41:47,010 --> 00:41:49,769 there are other people who would be happy to work here. 465 00:41:49,770 --> 00:41:53,209 People who would turn up on time, work harder, 466 00:41:53,210 --> 00:41:55,073 pay attention, remain awake. 467 00:41:56,110 --> 00:41:59,389 I don't need to tell you the ramifications of your actions. 468 00:41:59,390 --> 00:42:01,633 You're an adult, so start acting like one. 469 00:42:04,300 --> 00:42:05,350 I'm a bit confused. 470 00:42:06,620 --> 00:42:08,729 Before you interrupted me, the tracker was on. 471 00:42:08,730 --> 00:42:10,399 The conversation I was having 472 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,039 wasn't of the type where you leave here 473 00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:14,749 with a warning and have another chance. 474 00:42:14,750 --> 00:42:17,709 We're here today to discuss your dismissal. 475 00:42:17,710 --> 00:42:18,859 Please, Vicky. 476 00:42:18,860 --> 00:42:21,929 I'm afraid, Alice, my hands are tied. 477 00:42:21,930 --> 00:42:22,763 And even if they weren't, 478 00:42:22,764 --> 00:42:24,520 I'm not sure I'd be up for keeping you. 479 00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:28,297 We may be friendly with each other, 480 00:42:28,298 --> 00:42:30,569 but at the end of the day, you're a bit of a risk. 481 00:42:30,570 --> 00:42:32,165 You're the party girl 482 00:42:32,166 --> 00:42:33,846 that doesn't take the job seriously enough. 483 00:42:35,010 --> 00:42:36,499 I'm sorry. 484 00:42:36,500 --> 00:42:38,729 It's time you packed up your belongings and headed home. 485 00:42:38,730 --> 00:42:40,739 What am I supposed to do? 486 00:42:40,740 --> 00:42:42,369 Grow up. 487 00:42:42,370 --> 00:42:43,749 You've only been here two months. 488 00:42:43,750 --> 00:42:45,089 It's not working out, you need to leave. 489 00:42:45,090 --> 00:42:46,990 I don't know how I can be any clearer. 490 00:42:52,060 --> 00:42:53,060 Okay. 491 00:42:53,740 --> 00:42:54,740 We good? 492 00:42:56,099 --> 00:42:57,820 Fuck off. 493 00:42:57,821 --> 00:43:00,220 You don't want to talk to me like that. 494 00:43:26,607 --> 00:43:28,419 There, got my shit packed. 495 00:43:28,420 --> 00:43:30,170 I'm sorry it has to end this way. 496 00:44:49,188 --> 00:44:50,938 See you after work. 497 00:44:52,276 --> 00:44:53,776 I'll see you soon. 498 00:44:56,013 --> 00:44:59,409 I miss my husband. 499 00:44:59,410 --> 00:45:00,410 He'd have liked you. 500 00:45:02,584 --> 00:45:03,834 I doubt that. 501 00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:06,560 He would've. 502 00:45:08,150 --> 00:45:09,150 Trust me. 503 00:45:11,645 --> 00:45:14,317 I'm sorry, but what happened? 504 00:45:15,791 --> 00:45:16,791 Don't be. 505 00:45:19,362 --> 00:45:22,695 I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say. 506 00:45:24,300 --> 00:45:26,509 You don't really need to say anything. 507 00:45:26,510 --> 00:45:30,753 Just lie there and let me watch you. 508 00:45:32,690 --> 00:45:34,123 I'll do whatever you want. 509 00:45:40,526 --> 00:45:44,058 What do you dream about, Aaron? 510 00:45:44,059 --> 00:45:46,413 I don't tend to dream a lot. 511 00:45:48,780 --> 00:45:50,299 Everyone dreams. 512 00:45:50,300 --> 00:45:53,309 They just don't always remember them when they wake up. 513 00:45:53,310 --> 00:45:54,310 Right. 514 00:45:55,270 --> 00:45:57,603 I guess I just don't remember my dreams. 515 00:45:59,500 --> 00:46:03,343 Okay, so, forget about night dreams. 516 00:46:05,350 --> 00:46:07,393 What do you dream about when you're awake? 517 00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:11,939 You mean my daydreams? 518 00:46:11,940 --> 00:46:12,940 Yeah. 519 00:46:14,586 --> 00:46:16,419 What do you aspire to? 520 00:46:17,967 --> 00:46:19,300 A simple life. 521 00:46:27,386 --> 00:46:28,386 What? 522 00:46:30,420 --> 00:46:33,629 I would've thought your life would be pretty simple. 523 00:46:33,630 --> 00:46:34,680 You'd be surprised. 524 00:46:35,990 --> 00:46:36,990 Really? 525 00:46:38,876 --> 00:46:40,819 Don't you just go around to lonely people's homes, 526 00:46:40,820 --> 00:46:44,029 drop your kit, and have a bit of intimate fun? 527 00:46:44,030 --> 00:46:45,680 That's not the only thing I do. 528 00:46:50,067 --> 00:46:52,693 I suppose everyone's life's complicated. 529 00:46:54,340 --> 00:46:56,043 It's all about the perspective. 530 00:46:57,930 --> 00:47:00,743 The angle from which we observe them from. 531 00:47:01,850 --> 00:47:05,413 And life, and all that nonsensical nonsense. 532 00:47:07,866 --> 00:47:10,843 From where I'm lying, for the most part, 533 00:47:14,062 --> 00:47:17,470 I think the world is a very complicated machine. 534 00:47:19,350 --> 00:47:21,959 So you want everything to be simpler? 535 00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:25,203 No, I just wish my life was simple. 536 00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:31,039 Let's stop talking about this, it's making me sad. 537 00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:34,433 And I'm not sure I want to get into those details. 538 00:47:35,850 --> 00:47:36,850 Whatever you want. 539 00:47:41,850 --> 00:47:45,093 Tell me, how did you end up here? 540 00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:47,840 You invited me. 541 00:47:48,870 --> 00:47:53,233 I meant more in the context of vocation. 542 00:47:55,170 --> 00:47:59,283 Well, I started as a joke, I suppose. 543 00:48:02,848 --> 00:48:03,848 Are you happy? 544 00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:09,639 - Aaron. - Yeah? 545 00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:12,587 Well, I'm... I asked you something. 546 00:48:14,803 --> 00:48:16,003 Are you happy? 547 00:48:17,298 --> 00:48:18,893 I'm not sure what to say. 548 00:48:20,350 --> 00:48:21,700 I'm happy when I'm working. 549 00:48:23,869 --> 00:48:26,093 But I've got my sobriety to work on. 550 00:48:29,079 --> 00:48:29,912 I don't suppose this job 551 00:48:29,913 --> 00:48:31,753 is particularly good for keeping sober. 552 00:48:33,262 --> 00:48:34,312 It has its moments. 553 00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:41,323 How can I help? 554 00:48:43,900 --> 00:48:44,903 How can I help? 555 00:48:45,970 --> 00:48:47,959 He kept saying that to me. 556 00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:52,909 And all I could think about was telling him, 557 00:48:52,910 --> 00:48:55,643 how about letting me and my family stay in our home? 558 00:49:00,859 --> 00:49:02,233 But I couldn't. 559 00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:05,599 Not after all our missed payments and all that shit 560 00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:08,293 that makes my life what it is. 561 00:49:14,210 --> 00:49:17,243 I had spent my last piece of luck. 562 00:49:20,670 --> 00:49:22,123 I had no longer a home. 563 00:49:26,690 --> 00:49:31,179 But, how simple it is we're supposed 564 00:49:31,180 --> 00:49:33,583 to take the hand that we've been dealt in life. 565 00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:36,909 Is there anything that we can do 566 00:49:36,910 --> 00:49:38,282 to change the course of who we are 567 00:49:38,283 --> 00:49:39,833 or what we will become? 568 00:49:44,660 --> 00:49:48,943 I suppose, as I've gotten grown up, 569 00:49:51,490 --> 00:49:55,333 I've come to realize that I'm someone who can't change. 570 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:01,003 I keep trying. 571 00:50:02,700 --> 00:50:04,863 I keep trying to get better. 572 00:50:06,976 --> 00:50:10,910 And I keep telling myself that I'm someone else, 573 00:50:11,830 --> 00:50:16,689 and that I can be the ideal type of human being 574 00:50:16,690 --> 00:50:18,713 that everyone wants to be. 575 00:50:19,743 --> 00:50:22,043 The perfect idea of, 576 00:50:24,330 --> 00:50:29,159 the perfect idea of someone who can't have 577 00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:32,389 anything wrong happen to them, you know? 578 00:50:32,390 --> 00:50:35,099 The type of person who doesn't even know 579 00:50:35,100 --> 00:50:36,913 the meaning of something bad. 580 00:50:40,340 --> 00:50:42,513 That's all that keeps me going, really. 581 00:50:44,190 --> 00:50:46,539 The knowledge that I can push on, 582 00:50:46,540 --> 00:50:48,573 and I try to get better. 583 00:50:52,350 --> 00:50:54,779 Not the idea of perfection, 584 00:50:54,780 --> 00:50:59,773 but as close to it as I can be. 585 00:51:04,390 --> 00:51:05,833 Still homeless. 586 00:51:08,700 --> 00:51:09,813 That's a new low. 587 00:51:14,988 --> 00:51:18,653 Then, things get better. 588 00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:23,093 And that's what I really want to talk about. 589 00:51:25,270 --> 00:51:28,459 I'd like to look at the good stuff, 590 00:51:28,460 --> 00:51:29,960 and that's what I want to say. 591 00:51:39,710 --> 00:51:44,303 I found love that I didn't know I had. 592 00:51:52,110 --> 00:51:53,423 My three children. 593 00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:56,993 When they come home, 594 00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:04,383 and they see their mother trying to act, 595 00:52:09,210 --> 00:52:10,559 when they come home, 596 00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:14,659 and when they see their mother 597 00:52:14,660 --> 00:52:17,129 trying to get her act together, 598 00:52:17,130 --> 00:52:18,180 they don't judge her. 599 00:52:21,258 --> 00:52:24,019 They see someone who is trying 600 00:52:24,020 --> 00:52:25,773 to become a good person. 601 00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:33,639 And say, and doesn't say anything about 602 00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:35,983 the fact that I'm actually failing. 603 00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:42,837 There's something really special, you know? 604 00:52:44,470 --> 00:52:46,130 They just look at me, and, 605 00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:52,839 they try to do their best to help me. 606 00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:55,419 They try their best to ignore the fact 607 00:52:55,420 --> 00:53:00,420 that I'm actually very close to drinking again, 608 00:53:00,742 --> 00:53:01,943 and all that bad stuff. 609 00:53:07,166 --> 00:53:10,419 You can't buy that sort of love. 610 00:53:10,420 --> 00:53:11,733 The endless type. 611 00:53:13,090 --> 00:53:15,563 The type of love that keeps lingering on. 612 00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:30,159 I hope they never grow up 613 00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:31,679 because the minute they do, 614 00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:33,693 I know they're gonna resent me. 615 00:53:38,670 --> 00:53:40,503 They're gonna look back and think, 616 00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:44,940 why did I have to be born under this roof? 617 00:53:51,432 --> 00:53:52,769 And that's the latest thing. 618 00:53:52,770 --> 00:53:55,953 We aren't in a new home together. 619 00:54:02,502 --> 00:54:07,502 This is not the first time, and I know, like last time, 620 00:54:07,510 --> 00:54:09,899 all I need to do is get a few paychecks in, 621 00:54:09,900 --> 00:54:14,900 and get a new place to live in together. 622 00:54:16,540 --> 00:54:20,359 And it all will come back together. 623 00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:23,260 Everything will work out and I'll end up on my feet again. 624 00:54:35,240 --> 00:54:40,240 But, but I miss my husband, Joel. 625 00:54:45,650 --> 00:54:48,513 He would've never let this happen. 626 00:54:50,270 --> 00:54:54,659 And, when I think about him, 627 00:54:54,660 --> 00:54:58,633 I can't help but want to start drinking again. 628 00:55:00,900 --> 00:55:03,243 But I can't. 629 00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:09,473 For the sake of our children, I can't. 630 00:55:14,410 --> 00:55:16,163 I just need to get back on my feet. 631 00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:21,080 And everything will be fine. 632 00:57:35,503 --> 00:57:36,913 I miss him so much. 633 00:57:45,740 --> 00:57:47,173 I don't know where he is. 634 00:57:48,330 --> 00:57:50,733 Can you just meet with him and have a few words? 635 00:57:51,670 --> 00:57:53,033 He's ignoring me. 636 00:57:54,190 --> 00:57:58,869 I just, I don't know, I worry. 637 00:57:58,870 --> 00:58:00,180 Or something like that. 638 01:02:13,414 --> 01:02:14,814 So what do you think of my offer? 639 01:02:15,634 --> 01:02:17,353 I'm not taking you seriously. 640 01:02:18,250 --> 01:02:19,250 Why not? 641 01:02:20,237 --> 01:02:21,959 'Cause you're not my type. 642 01:02:21,960 --> 01:02:23,679 We get along, don't we? 643 01:02:23,680 --> 01:02:25,699 You pay me to be here. 644 01:02:25,700 --> 01:02:29,253 If I stop paying you, you wouldn't even- 645 01:02:31,370 --> 01:02:32,520 - What were you saying? 646 01:02:33,930 --> 01:02:34,930 I was saying, 647 01:02:36,910 --> 01:02:38,979 if I wasn't to pay you anymore, 648 01:02:38,980 --> 01:02:40,109 and from here on in I said, 649 01:02:40,110 --> 01:02:41,293 all this was for free, 650 01:02:42,350 --> 01:02:43,350 you'd leave. 651 01:02:44,260 --> 01:02:46,150 You wouldn't even consider my offer 652 01:02:47,139 --> 01:02:48,339 of living here for free. 653 01:02:49,917 --> 01:02:50,967 We could be together. 654 01:02:52,410 --> 01:02:54,860 What are you trying to prove by asking me that? 655 01:02:57,036 --> 01:02:58,869 I don't know. 656 01:03:01,030 --> 01:03:03,193 So you know what I tell you? 657 01:03:04,288 --> 01:03:06,917 Say it, what do you tell me? 658 01:03:06,918 --> 01:03:07,918 Okay. 659 01:03:09,910 --> 01:03:11,843 Well this is an arrangement, Andy. 660 01:03:13,370 --> 01:03:15,449 You pay me for my time. 661 01:03:15,450 --> 01:03:17,800 I'm not in love with you or anything like that. 662 01:03:24,790 --> 01:03:26,563 I'm not gonna pay you anymore. 663 01:03:29,820 --> 01:03:30,820 I'm sorry. 664 01:03:36,610 --> 01:03:39,463 My brother asked me to come here today. 665 01:03:41,410 --> 01:03:43,228 And for the first half an hour, 666 01:03:43,229 --> 01:03:48,229 I sat here listening and thinking that I don't belong. 667 01:03:50,610 --> 01:03:52,569 While I know the meeting, it ought to have finished by now, 668 01:03:52,570 --> 01:03:54,719 I just want to take a minute 669 01:03:54,720 --> 01:03:59,720 to say I know what it is we are doing here, 670 01:03:59,810 --> 01:04:02,153 and I know why I'm here. 671 01:04:05,210 --> 01:04:07,483 I don't think of myself as an alcoholic. 672 01:04:08,820 --> 01:04:09,983 Or anything like that, 673 01:04:10,873 --> 01:04:12,919 but for whatever reason, I seem to have the shakes. 674 01:04:12,920 --> 01:04:14,283 I don't really know why. 675 01:04:18,180 --> 01:04:19,330 I don't drink too much. 676 01:04:20,830 --> 01:04:21,830 I swear. 677 01:04:23,040 --> 01:04:25,687 But I guess, I guess the habit 678 01:04:25,688 --> 01:04:28,718 has gotten out of hand for some time now, 679 01:04:28,719 --> 01:04:30,683 and I just can't seem to keep my cool. 680 01:04:34,770 --> 01:04:37,359 I guess I need to find some faith in my life, 681 01:04:37,360 --> 01:04:39,113 and who it is that I am. 682 01:04:42,780 --> 01:04:43,939 As much as I'd like to pretend 683 01:04:43,940 --> 01:04:46,093 that this isn't the place I ought to be, 684 01:04:46,094 --> 01:04:48,273 I know that I belong here. 685 01:04:52,130 --> 01:04:56,913 I'm not asking for redemption, or anything like that. 686 01:04:59,530 --> 01:05:01,998 And I don't think I've hit rock bottom, 687 01:05:01,999 --> 01:05:03,099 like some of you have. 688 01:05:07,200 --> 01:05:10,973 I just know that I don't want any more trouble in my life. 689 01:05:14,580 --> 01:05:17,230 I don't want to end up doing something really stupid. 690 01:05:18,810 --> 01:05:19,810 No offense. 691 01:05:26,010 --> 01:05:30,409 I don't want to keep blacking out and missing days, 692 01:05:30,410 --> 01:05:34,547 and disappearing off the face of the earth. 693 01:05:37,560 --> 01:05:40,933 I guess I'd like to say thanks to you guys, 694 01:05:42,100 --> 01:05:45,113 for making me realize that this is the right thing for me. 695 01:05:46,610 --> 01:05:47,659 Because in the long run, 696 01:05:47,660 --> 01:05:50,759 there isn't really any shortcut to happiness. 697 01:05:50,760 --> 01:05:52,979 Yeah, I can drink a little, I can take a few pills, 698 01:05:52,980 --> 01:05:54,353 but it's all forgettable. 699 01:05:57,510 --> 01:05:59,869 I guess I'd like to be like this. 700 01:05:59,870 --> 01:06:01,853 Like all of us, sober for a while. 701 01:06:03,230 --> 01:06:05,680 So yeah, I guess I've said my story as much as... 702 01:06:08,170 --> 01:06:11,343 It's just me realizing, or having some kind of epiphany but, 703 01:06:15,950 --> 01:06:17,909 I guess I've only realized all of this 704 01:06:17,910 --> 01:06:19,560 while sitting here with you guys. 705 01:06:20,895 --> 01:06:21,953 So thanks for that. 706 01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:27,540 Because without all of your stories and all of your shares, 707 01:06:27,541 --> 01:06:29,436 I wouldn't have thought all of this. 708 01:06:29,437 --> 01:06:31,837 And I wouldn't have the bravery to self reflect. 709 01:06:36,110 --> 01:06:37,213 I can do better. 710 01:06:40,398 --> 01:06:45,389 So, here goes. 711 01:06:45,390 --> 01:06:48,480 In this life, it's advisable to... 712 01:06:49,780 --> 01:06:52,723 No, it's recommended, yeah. 713 01:06:53,870 --> 01:06:54,870 Yeah, recommended. 714 01:06:56,105 --> 01:06:59,513 It's recommended to have a short term memory. 715 01:07:00,750 --> 01:07:04,049 Don't cling to the past. 716 01:07:04,050 --> 01:07:05,650 Or the past year, for that long. 717 01:07:07,130 --> 01:07:10,336 So let live weather you and change you 718 01:07:10,337 --> 01:07:13,603 as you grow old and wise. 719 01:07:16,900 --> 01:07:20,339 If you do cling to it and all of that, 720 01:07:20,340 --> 01:07:21,563 it won't go that well. 721 01:07:23,730 --> 01:07:25,639 - Okay. - Mm-hmm. 722 01:07:25,640 --> 01:07:27,140 Okay I'll bear that in mind. 723 01:07:28,300 --> 01:07:29,300 Good. 724 01:07:30,180 --> 01:07:31,383 Good. 725 01:07:31,384 --> 01:07:33,533 You know what, I've got a lot, 726 01:07:35,010 --> 01:07:37,359 I've got a lot going on up here. 727 01:07:37,360 --> 01:07:39,010 Be a shame to let it go to waste. 728 01:07:44,660 --> 01:07:48,570 But, there is something else I should tell you. 729 01:07:48,571 --> 01:07:49,629 What is it? 730 01:07:49,630 --> 01:07:51,220 Don't end up like me. 731 01:07:53,120 --> 01:07:55,409 There's nothing quite worse than the life I lead. 732 01:07:55,410 --> 01:07:59,059 Well, there are worse lives that one could lead. 733 01:07:59,060 --> 01:08:00,110 I can think of a few. 734 01:08:03,270 --> 01:08:05,879 Mine doesn't come bearing any consequences, 735 01:08:05,880 --> 01:08:10,880 other than self pity, and self loathing. 736 01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:14,410 Self, self... 737 01:08:19,040 --> 01:08:21,429 Listen to me spewing out my memoirs. 738 01:08:21,430 --> 01:08:22,463 What an old drunk. 739 01:08:26,642 --> 01:08:29,920 Well, I wish you luck making sense out of that ramble. 740 01:08:33,167 --> 01:08:34,517 Can I ask you a question? 741 01:08:36,726 --> 01:08:38,329 Anything. 742 01:08:38,330 --> 01:08:39,330 Anything, kiddo. 743 01:08:40,650 --> 01:08:42,483 Do you know how to stop? 744 01:08:45,130 --> 01:08:46,830 How to just turn your life around? 745 01:08:51,060 --> 01:08:52,806 I wouldn't know how to. 746 01:08:52,807 --> 01:08:56,573 Besides, I don't have any real reason to change. 747 01:08:57,539 --> 01:08:59,003 I like my life the way it is. 748 01:09:00,200 --> 01:09:02,373 Yes, I really do. 749 01:09:17,440 --> 01:09:19,529 Lauren sends her regards. 750 01:09:19,530 --> 01:09:20,563 Yeah, sure. 751 01:09:21,870 --> 01:09:23,604 How are you doing? 752 01:09:23,605 --> 01:09:25,062 Could be better. 753 01:09:25,063 --> 01:09:26,729 Have you thought about trying to 754 01:09:26,730 --> 01:09:27,980 patch things up with her? 755 01:09:29,150 --> 01:09:30,779 Still playing messenger, then? 756 01:09:30,780 --> 01:09:32,813 Messenger or not, you should. 757 01:09:35,620 --> 01:09:38,039 It's just like what happened the last time. 758 01:09:38,040 --> 01:09:39,040 That's the problem. 759 01:09:39,970 --> 01:09:40,803 Every other month or so, 760 01:09:40,804 --> 01:09:42,453 we have one of these episodes. 761 01:09:43,918 --> 01:09:46,008 And I don't think I can be bothered anymore. 762 01:09:46,009 --> 01:09:47,259 Are you sure? 763 01:09:47,260 --> 01:09:48,943 - Yeah. - So what's next? 764 01:09:50,080 --> 01:09:51,080 Life. 765 01:09:51,840 --> 01:09:53,109 We're both young. 766 01:09:53,110 --> 01:09:55,033 Like kids playing a game. 767 01:09:56,970 --> 01:09:58,330 Let's just move out of that 768 01:09:58,331 --> 01:10:00,142 and forget about each other. 769 01:10:00,143 --> 01:10:01,579 At some point or another, 770 01:10:01,580 --> 01:10:04,659 you will have to grow up and face life head on, though. 771 01:10:04,660 --> 01:10:06,659 Listen to you lecturing about life. 772 01:10:06,660 --> 01:10:07,657 Rather funny, isn't it? 773 01:10:07,658 --> 01:10:09,649 I know what your problem is. 774 01:10:09,650 --> 01:10:11,652 - You do. - Okay. 775 01:10:11,653 --> 01:10:13,819 Okay enough. 776 01:10:13,820 --> 01:10:14,909 I thought we'd just have a chat now, 777 01:10:14,910 --> 01:10:17,559 but if you're gonna jab insults my way 778 01:10:17,560 --> 01:10:19,160 and poke fun of me all the time, 779 01:10:20,010 --> 01:10:21,460 I think I should say goodbye. 780 01:10:22,420 --> 01:10:23,589 That didn't take long, did it? 781 01:10:23,590 --> 01:10:24,809 Look, Parker. 782 01:10:24,810 --> 01:10:27,179 As your friend, I want to help you. 783 01:10:27,180 --> 01:10:29,789 But at the end of the day, you chose this life yourself. 784 01:10:29,790 --> 01:10:31,099 And it's always your turn to pass. 785 01:10:31,100 --> 01:10:34,241 So maybe you should consider brushing your life up 786 01:10:34,242 --> 01:10:36,289 and getting back into the things that matter. 787 01:10:36,290 --> 01:10:38,054 At the end of the day, 788 01:10:38,055 --> 01:10:40,219 I'm not here to anything more than have a chat. 789 01:10:40,220 --> 01:10:41,999 It's all Lauren asked me to do. 790 01:10:42,000 --> 01:10:43,749 Stop talking about me, then. 791 01:10:43,750 --> 01:10:45,009 Okay. 792 01:10:45,010 --> 01:10:47,123 Just thought I'd try to help. 793 01:10:48,156 --> 01:10:49,654 I just don't understand why 794 01:10:49,655 --> 01:10:51,389 she always have to send someone to patch things up. 795 01:10:51,390 --> 01:10:52,540 I don't know, either. 796 01:10:54,620 --> 01:10:55,959 How is she? 797 01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:57,559 I don't know. 798 01:10:57,560 --> 01:10:58,793 Any other news? 799 01:11:00,120 --> 01:11:01,770 Parents are thinking of moving. 800 01:11:02,679 --> 01:11:03,622 Where to? 801 01:11:03,623 --> 01:11:04,689 Somewhere in Europe. 802 01:11:04,690 --> 01:11:06,143 Maybe Spain or France. 803 01:11:07,960 --> 01:11:09,499 Might do 'em some good. 804 01:11:09,500 --> 01:11:10,839 Yeah. 805 01:11:10,840 --> 01:11:12,240 A fresh start's always nice. 806 01:11:13,420 --> 01:11:15,069 You should go with them. 807 01:11:15,070 --> 01:11:16,549 Really? 808 01:11:16,550 --> 01:11:17,383 Yeah. 809 01:11:17,383 --> 01:11:18,383 Why? 810 01:11:19,160 --> 01:11:21,119 She'll be after you somewhere else. 811 01:11:21,120 --> 01:11:22,419 I know I would. 812 01:11:22,420 --> 01:11:25,099 Look, I better go. 813 01:11:25,100 --> 01:11:26,100 Do me a favor. 814 01:11:27,010 --> 01:11:28,599 Go home and see her. 815 01:11:28,600 --> 01:11:29,997 She's worried about you. 816 01:11:36,810 --> 01:11:38,199 If you could just fill this out 817 01:11:38,200 --> 01:11:39,299 and hand it back into us, 818 01:11:39,300 --> 01:11:40,823 someone will be in touch. 819 01:11:42,944 --> 01:11:44,893 Can't I just give you my CV? 820 01:11:46,104 --> 01:11:48,243 No, we really need that filled out. 821 01:11:52,710 --> 01:11:54,863 - Okay? - Yeah, sure. 822 01:11:59,250 --> 01:12:00,673 Can I borrow a pen, please? 823 01:12:03,110 --> 01:12:05,160 You really should have one of your own. 824 01:12:06,289 --> 01:12:07,872 Sorry, thank you. 825 01:12:12,790 --> 01:12:13,683 Don't take this as anything 826 01:12:13,684 --> 01:12:15,183 more than it's mean to be. 827 01:12:16,080 --> 01:12:18,923 I know we're not seeing each other like we used to. 828 01:12:19,850 --> 01:12:21,499 Not anymore. 829 01:12:21,500 --> 01:12:25,469 But, well I just wanted to check in on you. 830 01:12:25,470 --> 01:12:26,520 See how you're doing. 831 01:12:28,240 --> 01:12:29,170 Don't get me wrong, 832 01:12:29,171 --> 01:12:31,759 I don't want to start up anything again. 833 01:12:31,760 --> 01:12:35,239 I just, well, for what it's worth, 834 01:12:35,240 --> 01:12:37,289 I really liked you. 835 01:12:37,290 --> 01:12:38,603 I think you're a nice guy. 836 01:12:40,520 --> 01:12:42,119 Thanks. 837 01:12:42,120 --> 01:12:44,313 So, what's been keeping you away? 838 01:12:48,110 --> 01:12:50,573 I'm just trying to start things over. 839 01:12:52,187 --> 01:12:53,337 Have you met someone? 840 01:12:54,650 --> 01:12:56,219 Not exactly. 841 01:12:56,220 --> 01:12:57,220 Then what? 842 01:12:58,720 --> 01:13:00,320 I can be a destructive person. 843 01:13:01,290 --> 01:13:03,390 You've never been destructive around me. 844 01:13:05,640 --> 01:13:08,093 I just, I have a few things to work on. 845 01:13:09,888 --> 01:13:11,769 And I needed to take a break. 846 01:13:11,770 --> 01:13:12,770 Seems to be working. 847 01:13:15,210 --> 01:13:16,210 Do you miss me? 848 01:13:18,330 --> 01:13:20,149 Don't think I should answer that. 849 01:13:20,150 --> 01:13:21,150 Please do. 850 01:13:23,470 --> 01:13:24,470 I miss the money. 851 01:13:26,260 --> 01:13:27,433 But not so much me. 852 01:13:29,442 --> 01:13:31,192 - No. - I thought so. 853 01:13:33,070 --> 01:13:34,456 I'm sorry. 854 01:13:34,457 --> 01:13:36,713 Don't be. At least you're being honest. 855 01:13:38,480 --> 01:13:40,919 Well that's what I'm trying to work on. 856 01:13:40,920 --> 01:13:41,920 Being honest. 857 01:13:42,810 --> 01:13:44,510 I want to be a more honest person. 858 01:13:46,050 --> 01:13:48,769 Anyway, I didn't want to meet you 859 01:13:48,770 --> 01:13:50,723 just to give you my life story. 860 01:13:53,160 --> 01:13:54,160 I understand. 861 01:13:55,790 --> 01:13:57,849 Look, why don't we say our goodbyes 862 01:13:57,850 --> 01:13:59,193 and go our separate ways? 863 01:14:01,340 --> 01:14:03,237 Yeah. I think we should. 864 01:14:34,100 --> 01:14:35,716 - Good morning, Alice. - Hi. 865 01:14:35,717 --> 01:14:37,979 I'm so sorry about the wait. 866 01:14:37,980 --> 01:14:41,096 I was just, well, I was in the restroom. 867 01:14:41,097 --> 01:14:42,349 Did you find this easy enough? 868 01:14:42,350 --> 01:14:44,424 Yeah, I've been here before. 869 01:14:44,425 --> 01:14:45,599 But you haven't worked with us before. 870 01:14:45,600 --> 01:14:47,169 No I haven't. 871 01:14:47,170 --> 01:14:48,170 But you want to. 872 01:14:49,360 --> 01:14:50,709 Work for Vassiman? 873 01:14:50,710 --> 01:14:52,003 Yes, I do, yeah. 874 01:14:52,990 --> 01:14:55,799 Alice, tell me in a sentence or more, 875 01:14:55,800 --> 01:14:57,639 what is it that you feel you can offer us? 876 01:14:57,640 --> 01:14:59,409 I mean, why should we hire you, 877 01:14:59,410 --> 01:15:00,909 say, instead of someone who's got 878 01:15:00,910 --> 01:15:03,693 a better degree grade, or more experience? 879 01:15:04,720 --> 01:15:05,720 Gosh... 880 01:15:06,700 --> 01:15:07,989 Is that question a problem? 881 01:15:07,990 --> 01:15:09,509 No. 882 01:15:09,510 --> 01:15:13,729 No, I guess... 883 01:15:13,730 --> 01:15:17,519 No, I guess I'm just not very good at explaining myself, 884 01:15:17,520 --> 01:15:19,779 or describing what I have to offer. 885 01:15:19,780 --> 01:15:22,209 Well, consider that good practice. 886 01:15:22,210 --> 01:15:23,969 Or something along those lines. 887 01:15:23,970 --> 01:15:25,269 Yeah. 888 01:15:25,270 --> 01:15:27,019 Well I guess I'm hard working, 889 01:15:27,020 --> 01:15:32,003 and I have a tendency to try and improve myself. 890 01:15:33,210 --> 01:15:34,930 Which is what I've been doing at the moment. 891 01:15:36,187 --> 01:15:37,370 I've reevaluated my life, 892 01:15:37,371 --> 01:15:38,849 and decided to go on a new path. 893 01:15:38,850 --> 01:15:40,499 What happened to you 894 01:15:40,500 --> 01:15:42,873 that made you want to reevaluate yourself? 895 01:15:44,850 --> 01:15:47,039 I had a dark patch. 896 01:15:47,040 --> 01:15:49,069 Do you want to expand on that? 897 01:15:49,070 --> 01:15:50,070 Can I be candid? 898 01:15:51,333 --> 01:15:54,759 I got fired, and because I moved out of house quite young, 899 01:15:54,760 --> 01:15:56,460 my mom and dad won't have me back. 900 01:15:57,710 --> 01:15:59,119 And I couldn't keep up my rent payments, 901 01:15:59,120 --> 01:16:01,520 so before you know it, I'm living out of my car. 902 01:16:03,783 --> 01:16:05,033 I'm sorry to hear that. 903 01:16:06,570 --> 01:16:07,769 Just, here I am, 904 01:16:07,770 --> 01:16:09,763 trying to get my life back in order. 905 01:16:12,040 --> 01:16:13,313 That's good, Alice. 906 01:16:14,890 --> 01:16:17,699 Look, I'm not going to waste your time, 907 01:16:17,700 --> 01:16:18,799 or anything like that. 908 01:16:18,800 --> 01:16:20,509 But the position you did apply for 909 01:16:20,510 --> 01:16:22,349 is no longer available. 910 01:16:22,350 --> 01:16:23,462 However, moving forward, 911 01:16:23,463 --> 01:16:25,839 what I can do is to pass your CV 912 01:16:25,840 --> 01:16:27,459 onto our sister company, 913 01:16:27,460 --> 01:16:29,433 and I'm sure you'll fit in there. 914 01:16:30,500 --> 01:16:31,400 Thanks. 915 01:16:31,401 --> 01:16:33,259 So expect to hear from us, 916 01:16:33,260 --> 01:16:36,229 and I'm sure you'll, everything will be okay. 917 01:16:36,230 --> 01:16:37,629 Thank you. 918 01:16:37,630 --> 01:16:40,160 Thank you for seeing me. It was my pleasure. 919 01:16:44,370 --> 01:16:46,320 Are you looking forward to the opera? 920 01:16:47,560 --> 01:16:48,560 Sure. 921 01:16:51,199 --> 01:16:53,843 What are you expecting from the experience? 922 01:16:56,285 --> 01:16:57,513 I don't know, actually. 923 01:16:58,670 --> 01:17:00,742 Did you read the libretto, as I asked you? 924 01:17:00,743 --> 01:17:01,743 I did. 925 01:17:03,910 --> 01:17:04,960 What did you think? 926 01:17:06,590 --> 01:17:07,590 It was sad. 927 01:17:08,810 --> 01:17:09,830 Did you like it? 928 01:17:12,067 --> 01:17:13,067 Yes. 929 01:17:13,980 --> 01:17:14,980 Good. 930 01:17:15,870 --> 01:17:17,983 I was worried it might not be your thing. 931 01:17:21,150 --> 01:17:24,319 It's been so long since I've been to the opera. 932 01:17:24,320 --> 01:17:25,320 So it's a treat. 933 01:17:28,049 --> 01:17:29,049 It is. 934 01:17:32,940 --> 01:17:33,940 You're my treat. 935 01:17:36,359 --> 01:17:38,359 But, as with all treats, 936 01:17:41,530 --> 01:17:42,803 they must come to an end. 937 01:17:44,297 --> 01:17:45,297 What do you mean? 938 01:17:47,681 --> 01:17:49,763 I probably should have said something before, but, 939 01:17:51,435 --> 01:17:52,835 I've started seeing someone. 940 01:17:54,800 --> 01:17:58,819 So, I'm sorry to say this 941 01:17:58,820 --> 01:18:01,950 will be the last time we'll be together. 942 01:18:05,198 --> 01:18:06,582 I'm sorry. 943 01:18:06,583 --> 01:18:08,489 Don't worry. 944 01:18:08,490 --> 01:18:11,353 It's just a business arrangement. 945 01:18:13,220 --> 01:18:14,420 But you still like me? 946 01:18:16,501 --> 01:18:19,199 I like you as much as the first day I met you. 947 01:18:19,200 --> 01:18:21,222 You're a charmer, Marina. 948 01:18:21,223 --> 01:18:22,223 Oh, am I? 949 01:18:28,529 --> 01:18:29,529 Can I get a kiss? 950 01:18:30,620 --> 01:18:31,620 If you tip me. 951 01:18:33,320 --> 01:18:34,429 Seriously? 952 01:18:34,430 --> 01:18:35,440 I'm teasing. 953 01:20:33,250 --> 01:20:34,619 I think it takes time to realize 954 01:20:34,620 --> 01:20:36,809 that we are in control of our lives, 955 01:20:36,810 --> 01:20:38,043 in one way or another. 956 01:20:39,230 --> 01:20:41,351 I mean, I'm not saying that 957 01:20:41,352 --> 01:20:43,889 I believe in fate or anything like that necessarily, 958 01:20:43,890 --> 01:20:46,649 but I know what I can do, 959 01:20:46,650 --> 01:20:48,239 I know what I need to do, 960 01:20:48,240 --> 01:20:51,943 and I can make a decision to make my life better. 961 01:20:53,454 --> 01:20:55,943 And I think in the end, it's all about choice. 962 01:20:57,210 --> 01:21:00,739 You know, I can make the decision not to drink 963 01:21:00,740 --> 01:21:03,719 just as much as I can make the decision to drink. 964 01:21:03,720 --> 01:21:07,103 Or do coke, or other drugs. 965 01:21:09,458 --> 01:21:14,403 Or end up lying in a squat, out of my head. 966 01:21:20,790 --> 01:21:25,283 Daydreaming about make it to mom's hospital bed, 967 01:21:26,650 --> 01:21:27,800 before she passed away. 968 01:21:33,843 --> 01:21:35,593 There's more to life. 969 01:21:40,290 --> 01:21:42,269 Anyway, I started the job at the youth charity 970 01:21:42,270 --> 01:21:45,332 that I was telling you about a few weeks ago. 971 01:21:45,333 --> 01:21:46,979 And I was so excited about it, 972 01:21:46,980 --> 01:21:49,584 thinking about everything I could do with the role, 973 01:21:49,585 --> 01:21:51,439 and all the help that I could offer, 974 01:21:51,440 --> 01:21:53,999 and all the experience that I could pass on. 975 01:21:54,000 --> 01:21:55,968 I'm so much more positive these days. 976 01:21:55,969 --> 01:21:58,437 I thought about how I could share that, you know. 977 01:22:00,170 --> 01:22:01,043 And then something dawned on me 978 01:22:01,044 --> 01:22:02,973 that hadn't occurred to me before. 979 01:22:05,300 --> 01:22:09,529 What if all the advice that I give is ignored, 980 01:22:09,530 --> 01:22:12,819 and then one of these people 981 01:22:12,820 --> 01:22:15,843 ended up having the same experiences as me as a result? 982 01:22:17,290 --> 01:22:22,290 What if someone I thought I was helping 983 01:22:22,410 --> 01:22:24,593 just hadn't listened to a word I said. 984 01:22:25,810 --> 01:22:28,360 And ended up doing something they deeply regretted. 985 01:22:29,480 --> 01:22:30,963 And how would I feel about that? 986 01:22:32,710 --> 01:22:36,349 Will I feel like I was part of that somehow, 987 01:22:36,350 --> 01:22:38,603 or would I feel guilty about it? 988 01:22:40,870 --> 01:22:41,870 And... 989 01:22:44,730 --> 01:22:45,923 I don't know, I guess, 990 01:22:47,596 --> 01:22:49,296 I guess this is what it all means. 991 01:22:51,230 --> 01:22:52,919 It's about treating it like 992 01:22:52,920 --> 01:22:55,170 there's always a tomorrow to look forward to. 993 01:22:57,100 --> 01:22:58,550 Another chance to start over. 994 01:23:04,420 --> 01:23:05,420 Hello? 995 01:23:32,560 --> 01:23:33,560 Wake up. 996 01:23:34,438 --> 01:23:35,660 What? 997 01:23:35,661 --> 01:23:37,565 Where did you go? 998 01:23:37,566 --> 01:23:38,649 Don't know. 999 01:23:40,503 --> 01:23:41,836 I was worried. 1000 01:23:43,443 --> 01:23:44,629 Sorry. 1001 01:23:44,630 --> 01:23:46,333 Don't do that again, okay? 1002 01:23:47,350 --> 01:23:48,350 Okay. 1003 01:23:49,290 --> 01:23:51,190 I don't want us to separate anymore. 1004 01:23:53,384 --> 01:23:54,360 Don't know if it's right or wrong, 1005 01:23:54,361 --> 01:23:57,693 but I think the idea of taking a break was a good one. 1006 01:23:59,330 --> 01:24:01,329 What do you mean? 1007 01:24:01,330 --> 01:24:02,809 Go our separate ways and then 1008 01:24:02,810 --> 01:24:04,610 see if we still want to be together. 1009 01:24:06,052 --> 01:24:08,223 And if so, we can pick up where we left off. 1010 01:24:09,456 --> 01:24:12,213 If not, maybe we weren't mean to be together, anyway. 1011 01:24:13,418 --> 01:24:14,418 Maybe it was a bad idea. 1012 01:24:16,802 --> 01:24:19,397 You know, moving in together, being together. 1013 01:24:20,870 --> 01:24:22,775 Have you met someone else? 1014 01:24:22,776 --> 01:24:23,609 No. 1015 01:24:23,609 --> 01:24:24,609 Then what is it? 1016 01:24:26,294 --> 01:24:28,903 I don't know. 1017 01:24:28,904 --> 01:24:29,987 I don't know. 1018 01:24:30,990 --> 01:24:32,813 I just don't really care about us anymore. 1019 01:24:34,488 --> 01:24:36,488 I think, I don't know. 1020 01:24:38,080 --> 01:24:41,767 I mean, I've loved living here with you. 1021 01:24:43,738 --> 01:24:46,699 But it hasn't been working out, right? 1022 01:24:46,700 --> 01:24:47,850 I guess you're right. 1023 01:24:48,810 --> 01:24:50,860 A break might do us some good in the end. 1024 01:24:54,172 --> 01:24:55,172 It isn't goodbye. 1025 01:24:56,710 --> 01:24:57,710 If you say so. 1026 01:25:01,880 --> 01:25:03,989 - Hey. - Hey. 1027 01:25:03,990 --> 01:25:05,839 I just came by to say thanks. 1028 01:25:05,840 --> 01:25:07,449 Thanks? 1029 01:25:07,450 --> 01:25:09,361 I haven't seen you in ages. How are you? 1030 01:25:09,362 --> 01:25:10,195 Are you okay? 1031 01:25:10,196 --> 01:25:12,283 Yeah, I did what you suggested. 1032 01:25:14,300 --> 01:25:15,379 And? 1033 01:25:15,380 --> 01:25:17,749 Well, I've been doing the whole recovery thing, 1034 01:25:17,750 --> 01:25:19,673 and making amends and all that. 1035 01:25:21,010 --> 01:25:22,010 Good. 1036 01:25:22,750 --> 01:25:24,500 I'm really sorry about last time. 1037 01:25:26,590 --> 01:25:27,590 It's okay. 1038 01:25:28,990 --> 01:25:29,990 I miss you. 1039 01:25:32,329 --> 01:25:33,829 I wish I could say the same. 1040 01:25:35,125 --> 01:25:36,859 Come on, Andy, don't be like that. 1041 01:25:36,860 --> 01:25:38,803 Look, I meant what I said. 1042 01:25:41,460 --> 01:25:43,260 It's great to see you doing so well. 1043 01:25:46,590 --> 01:25:47,690 I think you should go. 1044 01:25:49,880 --> 01:25:52,233 Aaron, good luck. 1045 01:26:06,290 --> 01:26:09,830 So you want me just to stand here? 1046 01:26:09,831 --> 01:26:11,813 I want you to close your eyes. 1047 01:26:29,437 --> 01:26:32,449 Would you like a drink of something? 1048 01:26:32,450 --> 01:26:33,893 The water's fine, thanks. 1049 01:26:35,080 --> 01:26:37,519 Water's so boring. 1050 01:26:37,520 --> 01:26:40,668 Yeah, yeah I'm fine. 1051 01:26:40,669 --> 01:26:42,119 Are you sure? 1052 01:26:42,120 --> 01:26:44,113 Yeah, I'm good, thanks. 1053 01:26:45,780 --> 01:26:46,930 Can I open my eyes now? 1054 01:26:48,150 --> 01:26:49,150 I suppose. 1055 01:26:51,380 --> 01:26:53,269 I'm sorry, I'm not used to this kind of thing. 1056 01:26:53,270 --> 01:26:55,189 I've never done it before. 1057 01:26:55,190 --> 01:26:57,949 Just paying someone feels so odd. 1058 01:26:57,950 --> 01:27:01,039 I feel like I'm in control of everything. 1059 01:27:01,040 --> 01:27:03,440 - If you've changed your mind- - No, I haven't. 1060 01:27:05,320 --> 01:27:07,923 So, what now? 1061 01:27:09,471 --> 01:27:10,471 I want to, 1062 01:27:12,064 --> 01:27:13,879 I want to know about you. 1063 01:27:13,880 --> 01:27:15,633 Tell me something about yourself. 1064 01:27:18,499 --> 01:27:20,518 I'm not sure what to tell you. 1065 01:27:20,519 --> 01:27:21,519 Really? 1066 01:27:23,331 --> 01:27:24,883 I don't know. 1067 01:27:24,884 --> 01:27:25,884 I'm... 1068 01:27:26,997 --> 01:27:28,247 You're, what? 1069 01:27:31,663 --> 01:27:33,753 I don't know, enough of this. 1070 01:27:34,870 --> 01:27:35,870 Where's the bedroom? 1071 01:27:36,909 --> 01:27:38,742 Come, I'll show you. 1072 01:27:56,463 --> 01:27:58,039 Hello everyone. 1073 01:27:58,040 --> 01:27:59,073 My name is Aaron. 1074 01:28:00,573 --> 01:28:01,990 I'm an alcoholic. 1075 01:32:12,929 --> 01:32:17,812 ♪ Come and hold me ♪ 1076 01:32:17,813 --> 01:32:22,813 ♪ I have no eyes ♪ 1077 01:32:23,309 --> 01:32:28,309 ♪ Like a strange fruit ♪ 1078 01:32:29,727 --> 01:32:34,727 ♪ Locked in the skies ♪ 1079 01:32:35,457 --> 01:32:40,457 ♪ Take me on ♪ 1080 01:32:40,788 --> 01:32:45,788 ♪ Like you're rolling ♪ 1081 01:32:47,281 --> 01:32:52,281 ♪ Make me feel like ♪ 1082 01:32:53,458 --> 01:32:58,458 ♪ Nothing is wrong ♪ 1083 01:32:59,062 --> 01:33:01,304 ♪ Nothing is wrong ♪ 1084 01:33:01,305 --> 01:33:06,305 ♪ Nothing like flawless ♪ 1085 01:33:07,730 --> 01:33:11,979 ♪ Feel like going, feel like going home ♪ 1086 01:33:11,980 --> 01:33:16,980 ♪ I'm nothing like flawless ♪ 1087 01:33:18,908 --> 01:33:22,464 ♪ Feel like going, feel like ♪ 1088 01:33:22,465 --> 01:33:27,465 ♪ My hands tied ♪ 1089 01:33:27,547 --> 01:33:32,547 ♪ And my hands are ♪ 1090 01:33:33,012 --> 01:33:38,012 ♪ I can still feel ♪ 1091 01:33:39,505 --> 01:33:44,505 ♪ Dead at the door ♪ 1092 01:33:45,000 --> 01:33:50,000 ♪ I can't talk ♪ 1093 01:33:50,731 --> 01:33:55,731 ♪ 'Cause I want to last ♪ 1094 01:33:56,283 --> 01:34:01,283 ♪ So I head ♪ 1095 01:34:02,994 --> 01:34:07,994 ♪ To my way back ♪ 1096 01:34:08,695 --> 01:34:13,695 ♪ To know I'm nothing like flawless ♪ 1097 01:34:17,225 --> 01:34:21,092 ♪ Feel like going, feel like going ♪ 1098 01:34:21,093 --> 01:34:25,828 ♪ I'm nothing like flawless ♪ 1099 01:34:25,829 --> 01:34:27,268 ♪ Sun is coming ♪ 1100 01:34:27,269 --> 01:34:28,788 ♪ It's pouring rain ♪ 1101 01:34:28,789 --> 01:34:31,989 ♪ Feel like going, feel like going ♪ 1102 01:34:31,990 --> 01:34:36,990 ♪ I'm nothing like flawless ♪ 1103 01:34:37,426 --> 01:34:38,738 ♪ Sun is coming ♪ 1104 01:34:38,739 --> 01:34:40,312 ♪ It's pouring rain ♪ 1105 01:34:40,313 --> 01:34:44,791 ♪ Feel like going, feel like going ♪ 1106 01:34:44,792 --> 01:34:49,231 ♪ I'm nothing like flawless ♪ 1107 01:34:49,232 --> 01:34:50,521 ♪ Sun is coming ♪ 1108 01:34:50,522 --> 01:34:52,024 ♪ It's pouring rain ♪ 1109 01:34:52,025 --> 01:34:56,296 ♪ Feel like going, feel like going ♪ 1110 01:34:56,297 --> 01:35:00,403 ♪ I'm nothing like flawless ♪ 1111 01:35:00,404 --> 01:35:02,235 ♪ Sun is coming ♪ 1112 01:35:02,236 --> 01:35:03,494 ♪ It's pouring rain ♪ 1113 01:35:03,495 --> 01:35:07,820 ♪ Feel like going, feel like going ♪ 1114 01:35:07,821 --> 01:35:12,078 ♪ I'm nothing like flawless ♪ 1115 01:35:12,079 --> 01:35:13,484 ♪ Sun is coming ♪ 1116 01:35:13,485 --> 01:35:14,944 ♪ It's pouring rain ♪ 1117 01:35:14,945 --> 01:35:19,195 ♪ Feel like going, feel like going ♪