1 00:00:38,420 --> 00:00:41,824 I'll put it down. Okay. 2 00:00:41,891 --> 00:00:43,759 Okay. Thank you very much. 3 00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:47,262 Okay. Bye, bye. 4 00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:58,273 Ahh! 5 00:01:03,378 --> 00:01:05,881 Oh, awesome. 6 00:01:05,948 --> 00:01:08,483 It's Sarah Getz, Reunion Co-Chair. 7 00:01:08,550 --> 00:01:11,020 I just checked, and there's no Sid Straw 8 00:01:11,087 --> 00:01:12,988 on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. 9 00:01:13,055 --> 00:01:16,058 You're not even on Linkedln. Are you a real person? 10 00:01:16,125 --> 00:01:19,461 Assuming you are, you need to get on social media pronto. 11 00:01:19,527 --> 00:01:22,898 All of our coordinating will be done on Facebook. 12 00:01:22,965 --> 00:01:24,867 It is going to be epic. 13 00:01:55,263 --> 00:01:57,700 Duncan Lambert. 14 00:01:57,767 --> 00:02:00,703 You have not aged a day since college. 15 00:02:00,770 --> 00:02:02,604 - You haven't. - I know. 16 00:02:02,671 --> 00:02:04,439 Then I saw your name on Facebook, 17 00:02:04,506 --> 00:02:05,808 and I was like, come on. 18 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:07,810 What a perfect time to get back in touch. 19 00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:10,746 I'm so surprised that you are the co-chair. 20 00:02:10,813 --> 00:02:13,515 Yeah. Of the Penn Reunion. Isn't that cool? 21 00:02:13,581 --> 00:02:15,217 - The West Coast Reunion. - The West Coast Reunion, yeah. 22 00:02:15,283 --> 00:02:16,618 Wow. 23 00:02:16,685 --> 00:02:18,821 You know, when I saw you on Facebook... 24 00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:20,222 Yeah. 25 00:02:20,288 --> 00:02:23,726 I just assumed that you had, you know, be married by now. 26 00:02:23,793 --> 00:02:25,094 No, I've had... 27 00:02:25,161 --> 00:02:27,129 I've had a bit of a dry spell with the ladies. 28 00:02:27,196 --> 00:02:29,430 - You know what, get the apps. - I can't do the apps. 29 00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:30,733 Swipe the swipes. 30 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,367 That stresses me out big time. 31 00:02:32,433 --> 00:02:34,804 Do you know, I was thinking today, 32 00:02:34,870 --> 00:02:36,939 what was the name of the character 33 00:02:37,006 --> 00:02:38,774 that you always called me during our college improvs? 34 00:02:38,841 --> 00:02:41,977 - Christopher P. Bacon. - That's it! That's it! 35 00:02:42,044 --> 00:02:44,880 I was trying to think of it, and I couldn't remember it. 36 00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:48,250 That was so fun, man. That was so fun. 37 00:02:48,316 --> 00:02:51,053 Those days are over. 38 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,855 No, we should do that again. 39 00:02:52,922 --> 00:02:54,522 - We should, that was fun. - We should do that again. 40 00:02:54,589 --> 00:02:55,891 - That was fun. - That was fun. 41 00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:57,960 - I want more fun. - Do you have my number? 42 00:02:58,027 --> 00:02:59,795 - Facebook, buddy. - Facebook. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 43 00:02:59,862 --> 00:03:01,730 Facebook. You can expense this, right? 44 00:03:01,797 --> 00:03:02,998 Yes. Of course I can expense this. 45 00:03:03,065 --> 00:03:04,133 - Great. - Yes, yes, yes. 46 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,035 I'll send you... I guess you can send a message 47 00:03:06,101 --> 00:03:07,069 on there or something, 48 00:03:07,136 --> 00:03:08,671 and we can-we can figure something out. 49 00:03:08,737 --> 00:03:10,306 - Yes. - Yeah. That's... 50 00:03:10,371 --> 00:03:12,675 - Yes! - This is fun. 51 00:03:18,113 --> 00:03:19,447 This is fun. 52 00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:49,078 Ladies and gentlemen, Sam Holla. 53 00:03:49,144 --> 00:03:50,813 Hi, Sid. 54 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:54,415 I suppose you like your coffee strong and black. 55 00:03:54,482 --> 00:03:56,584 I was in this comedy improv group in college, 56 00:03:56,652 --> 00:03:58,120 and we used to do this bit 57 00:03:58,187 --> 00:04:00,555 where I would say a word that clearly wasn't racist, 58 00:04:00,622 --> 00:04:01,657 but then it was kind of close enough. 59 00:04:01,724 --> 00:04:03,458 I get the gist. You almost done? 60 00:04:03,524 --> 00:04:04,960 Yeah, the key is to catch what comes out 61 00:04:05,027 --> 00:04:06,862 in the first three and a half seconds. 62 00:04:06,929 --> 00:04:10,065 And then the rest of just brown water. 63 00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:13,568 You mind? I have a conference call in five. 64 00:04:13,635 --> 00:04:16,372 No, no, no, no. Good, good, good. 65 00:04:16,437 --> 00:04:20,009 I'm just gonna. There we go. 66 00:04:20,075 --> 00:04:22,978 Hey, I saw you were on Facebook, actually. 67 00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:26,181 I just signed up. 68 00:04:26,248 --> 00:04:27,883 Should I friend you? 69 00:04:27,950 --> 00:04:30,019 I have this new policy where I keep 70 00:04:30,085 --> 00:04:32,821 my Facebook separate from coworkers. 71 00:04:32,888 --> 00:04:35,456 Oh. I saw Bruce on there, though. 72 00:04:35,523 --> 00:04:37,092 - Bruce is not a coworker. - Mm-hmm. 73 00:04:37,159 --> 00:04:39,695 - He's-he's the boss, so... - Uh-huh. 74 00:04:39,762 --> 00:04:41,462 I saw Burke and Jeanne, though, too. 75 00:04:41,529 --> 00:04:45,701 Yeah, they were already friends of mine 76 00:04:45,768 --> 00:04:47,870 before I implemented the policy. 77 00:04:47,937 --> 00:04:49,204 Uh-huh. Well, that's probably good. 78 00:04:49,271 --> 00:04:50,706 It's good to keep the focus on what we have here. 79 00:04:50,773 --> 00:04:52,041 - Right. - Yeah. Yeah. 80 00:04:52,107 --> 00:04:53,541 - And I'm just gonna go... - Yeah. Yeah. 81 00:04:53,608 --> 00:04:55,311 - There. - Yeah. Yeah. 82 00:04:55,377 --> 00:04:58,479 Hey, I'm right behind you. I'll just grab my pods. 83 00:05:26,541 --> 00:05:28,277 Wow. 84 00:05:28,344 --> 00:05:31,246 Look at you. Look at you. 85 00:05:34,515 --> 00:05:36,919 Oh, that's so cool. 86 00:05:39,355 --> 00:05:42,291 No way. 87 00:05:42,358 --> 00:05:44,259 That's me. 88 00:05:51,767 --> 00:05:53,568 Hey, Jeanne. 89 00:05:53,634 --> 00:05:55,804 Did I ever tell you that I was friends 90 00:05:55,871 --> 00:05:57,940 with someone famous in college? 91 00:05:58,007 --> 00:06:00,042 - Really? - Yeah, I want you to guess. 92 00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:03,245 Okay? She's my age. Obviously. 93 00:06:03,312 --> 00:06:07,016 And she's a classic beauty. And I do know her. 94 00:06:07,082 --> 00:06:09,617 - Heather Locklear. - No. 95 00:06:09,685 --> 00:06:10,819 How old do you think I am? 96 00:06:10,886 --> 00:06:12,121 However old Heather Locklear is. 97 00:06:12,187 --> 00:06:15,691 Okay, no, I'm gonna give another hint. 98 00:06:15,758 --> 00:06:18,293 She's a pitch perfect actress. 99 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,396 Ew, Anna Kendrick could be your daughter. 100 00:06:20,462 --> 00:06:23,298 No, not Anna. Do you think I look like Anna? 101 00:06:23,365 --> 00:06:25,367 No. 102 00:06:25,434 --> 00:06:27,535 All right. One more hint. 103 00:06:27,602 --> 00:06:31,206 She has a Wyldstyle, with a Y. 104 00:06:33,342 --> 00:06:35,543 You were friends with Elizabeth Banks? 105 00:06:35,610 --> 00:06:37,012 Yes! We went to Penn together. 106 00:06:37,079 --> 00:06:39,048 - And she knows who you are. - Yeah. 107 00:06:39,114 --> 00:06:41,216 I mean, I think she does. Look, look at this. 108 00:06:41,283 --> 00:06:43,085 Look. Look. Look. Look. 109 00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:45,487 Did you take a picture of your computer screen? 110 00:06:45,553 --> 00:06:48,057 Yeah. 111 00:06:48,123 --> 00:06:49,892 That doesn't even look like you. 112 00:06:49,958 --> 00:06:51,827 No, that's me. Look, look, look, look, that's me. 113 00:06:51,894 --> 00:06:53,729 Can I go back to work now, please? 114 00:06:53,796 --> 00:06:55,931 Yeah. Hey, did I get any mail? 115 00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:57,166 No. 116 00:06:57,232 --> 00:06:58,734 Are you sure it didn't go to Sam Holler again? 117 00:06:58,801 --> 00:07:01,602 - I don't know. - Okay. 118 00:07:08,444 --> 00:07:09,878 Dear Elizabeth. 119 00:07:09,945 --> 00:07:11,612 You may or may not remember me, 120 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:13,916 but we were classmates at Penn before you went off 121 00:07:13,982 --> 00:07:15,616 to Hollywood to become an actress. 122 00:07:15,684 --> 00:07:17,386 See if this rings a bell. 123 00:07:17,453 --> 00:07:20,923 I dated your sorority sister Tracey Swid sophomore year. 124 00:07:20,989 --> 00:07:22,791 Do you remember her? Brown hair, brown eyes. 125 00:07:22,858 --> 00:07:24,426 She used to bleach the hair over her lip? 126 00:07:24,493 --> 00:07:26,562 And then she did that Wonder Wax infomercial 127 00:07:26,627 --> 00:07:28,030 and broke up with me. 128 00:07:28,097 --> 00:07:30,966 That's so weird. She was on TV before you. 129 00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:33,268 But, I mean, you surpassed her, of course. 130 00:07:33,335 --> 00:07:35,471 Hey, I got some exciting news, though. 131 00:07:35,537 --> 00:07:37,638 I am officially the co-chair 132 00:07:37,706 --> 00:07:39,308 of the West Coast Penn Reunion, 133 00:07:39,374 --> 00:07:41,642 and I want to cordially invite you 134 00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:43,512 to the big event in the fall. 135 00:07:43,579 --> 00:07:45,581 Go Quakers! 136 00:07:45,646 --> 00:07:48,550 Sincerely, Sid Straw. 137 00:07:48,616 --> 00:07:51,186 Oh, P.S. I got a date tonight. 138 00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:54,456 I'm hoping to maybe bring her to the reunion. 139 00:07:54,523 --> 00:07:56,658 Fingers crossed. 140 00:08:00,729 --> 00:08:02,131 I'm a regular here. 141 00:08:02,197 --> 00:08:04,632 - I kind of thought so. - Yeah. 142 00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:07,035 I feel bad 'cause I brought you to a place 143 00:08:07,102 --> 00:08:09,071 that I feel comfortable with on our first date. 144 00:08:09,138 --> 00:08:11,306 No, first dates are always weird. 145 00:08:11,373 --> 00:08:12,708 No matter what. 146 00:08:12,774 --> 00:08:15,711 My pits just sweat when I'm nervous. 147 00:08:15,777 --> 00:08:16,912 Feel my hands. 148 00:08:16,979 --> 00:08:19,047 Oh! Your hands are sweaty. 149 00:08:19,114 --> 00:08:22,151 I'm pretty wet, aren't I? 150 00:08:22,217 --> 00:08:24,887 Oh, sorry. 151 00:08:24,953 --> 00:08:26,355 I have this trick at work. 152 00:08:26,421 --> 00:08:28,090 Whenever I have to shake someone's hand, 153 00:08:28,157 --> 00:08:30,325 I just make sure to have a cold drink in my hand. 154 00:08:30,392 --> 00:08:32,661 Oh, cools it... it's like, that cools it... 155 00:08:32,728 --> 00:08:33,862 - yeah, I get it. - No one notices. 156 00:08:33,929 --> 00:08:35,097 That's really smart. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 157 00:08:35,164 --> 00:08:36,999 Let me tell you something about Sid. 158 00:08:37,065 --> 00:08:40,068 If he's as generous in bed as he's at tipping, 159 00:08:40,135 --> 00:08:42,804 then we're both in for a disappointing night. 160 00:08:44,806 --> 00:08:46,742 Just kidding. 161 00:08:46,808 --> 00:08:48,777 - Wendy. - Yeah? 162 00:08:48,844 --> 00:08:51,680 Do you guys really tow all the cars 163 00:08:51,747 --> 00:08:53,882 - that are left behind? - No. 164 00:08:53,949 --> 00:08:56,518 And Sid lives within walking distance. 165 00:08:56,585 --> 00:09:00,355 Y'all good? 166 00:09:00,422 --> 00:09:06,161 Wendy, could you deflower that virgin Margarita for me? 167 00:09:06,228 --> 00:09:08,830 Yes, I will Davy Crockett this bitch. 168 00:09:08,897 --> 00:09:12,100 - Thank you. - No problem. 169 00:09:12,167 --> 00:09:14,136 What does "Davy Crockett this bitch" mean? 170 00:09:14,203 --> 00:09:16,905 I was worried that you would know. 171 00:09:16,972 --> 00:09:18,440 Was he an alcoholic or was he...? 172 00:09:18,507 --> 00:09:20,142 Well, it sounds like he was a predator. 173 00:09:22,277 --> 00:09:26,114 Thank you. 174 00:09:26,181 --> 00:09:28,150 Okay. 175 00:09:39,194 --> 00:09:42,998 Sorry. 176 00:09:43,065 --> 00:09:45,000 Oh, sorry. No, it's this... 177 00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:47,469 - it's this nap pillow. - Oh. 178 00:09:47,536 --> 00:09:52,074 I wear it... I wear it to help me sleep sometimes. 179 00:09:52,140 --> 00:09:53,308 See? 180 00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:55,010 I have a spare if you want to try it. 181 00:09:55,077 --> 00:09:58,480 - Oh, no thanks. I'm good. - Okay. 182 00:09:58,547 --> 00:09:59,881 [grunts[ 183 00:09:59,948 --> 00:10:03,785 It's actually pretty comfortable. 184 00:10:03,852 --> 00:10:06,788 Mm. 185 00:10:06,855 --> 00:10:08,490 Do you want to stay over or... 186 00:10:08,557 --> 00:10:10,592 I mean, no pressure. I've got a... but I've got a... 187 00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:13,061 I have a spare toothbrush. 188 00:10:13,128 --> 00:10:15,897 Thank you. I would. 189 00:10:15,964 --> 00:10:19,601 But I-I have to let my dogs out. 190 00:10:19,669 --> 00:10:23,939 Who let your dogs out? 191 00:10:24,006 --> 00:10:25,274 Do you want me to bark? 192 00:10:25,340 --> 00:10:27,009 No. No. You don't have to. No. 193 00:10:27,075 --> 00:10:28,143 - I will. - Okay. 194 00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:29,645 - Do it again. - Okay. 195 00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:31,446 Who will let your dogs out? 196 00:10:31,513 --> 00:10:34,850 Arf. Arf. Arf. Arf. Arf. 197 00:10:34,916 --> 00:10:36,184 They're Shih Tzus. 198 00:10:38,887 --> 00:10:40,757 That's good. 199 00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:52,334 I'll call you tomorrow. Mm-hmm. 200 00:11:14,890 --> 00:11:17,559 Dear Elizabeth. More good news! 201 00:11:17,626 --> 00:11:21,096 I changed my status to "in a relationship." 202 00:11:21,163 --> 00:11:22,732 Her name is Kate, 203 00:11:22,799 --> 00:11:25,267 and I really hope you can meet her at the reunion. 204 00:11:25,334 --> 00:11:26,703 Oh, I just remembered something 205 00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:29,237 you used to do in college that made me smile. 206 00:11:29,304 --> 00:11:32,841 Whenever somebody used to say "goodbye," you would wave, 207 00:11:32,908 --> 00:11:35,444 and you would say, "Eat Wheaties!" 208 00:11:35,510 --> 00:11:37,879 Do you remember that? Do you still do that? 209 00:11:39,381 --> 00:11:41,350 I'm imagining you telling .K. Simmons 210 00:11:41,416 --> 00:11:43,452 to "Eat Wheaties!" on the set of "Spiderman 2" 211 00:11:43,518 --> 00:11:45,187 and then him getting really mad 212 00:11:45,253 --> 00:11:46,888 like he did with that kid who played the drums. 213 00:11:46,955 --> 00:11:49,792 Only of course he's pretending, 'cause he's a great actor. 214 00:11:49,858 --> 00:11:51,493 You know what I'm saying? 215 00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:54,529 Anyways, I know you're busy, so eat Wheaties! 216 00:11:54,596 --> 00:11:57,299 Sid. 217 00:12:10,780 --> 00:12:12,381 Hey! Tommy Tom. 218 00:12:12,447 --> 00:12:13,882 Hey, guess who's gonna be at the... 219 00:12:13,949 --> 00:12:15,283 No, Tom's busy. 220 00:12:15,350 --> 00:12:17,185 - What do you want, Sid? - Oh, hey, Janet. 221 00:12:17,252 --> 00:12:18,788 Gosh, if you're asking, I'd love to be the godfather 222 00:12:18,855 --> 00:12:20,255 of your child, who I imagine is gonna be... 223 00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:21,623 Please don't tell another bad joke, okay? 224 00:12:21,691 --> 00:12:22,991 I'm already nauseous. 225 00:12:23,058 --> 00:12:24,059 No, no, no, no. Don't go. Don't go. 226 00:12:24,126 --> 00:12:26,161 Hey, I want to get Tom something nice 227 00:12:26,228 --> 00:12:27,462 for his birthday. Do you have any ideas? 228 00:12:27,529 --> 00:12:29,164 Here's a great idea. Stop calling. 229 00:12:29,231 --> 00:12:31,199 Okay, I can't... 230 00:12:31,266 --> 00:12:32,802 I can't just stop calling, Janet. 231 00:12:32,869 --> 00:12:35,470 I'm hanging up. 232 00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:37,639 You're allowed to make bad jokes, but he can't? 233 00:12:37,707 --> 00:12:39,007 It wasn't a joke. 234 00:12:39,074 --> 00:12:40,909 One day, you're gonna laugh 235 00:12:40,976 --> 00:12:42,978 about what happened at the wedding. 236 00:12:43,044 --> 00:12:45,414 You just focus on the bassinet, okay? 237 00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:57,092 Dear Elizabeth. 238 00:12:57,159 --> 00:12:59,127 It's my brother's birthday coming up, 239 00:12:59,194 --> 00:13:01,229 and I thought of the perfect gift: 240 00:13:01,296 --> 00:13:03,733 an autographed photo from you. 241 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,066 Huh? 242 00:13:05,133 --> 00:13:06,601 It's weird, but for some reason, 243 00:13:06,669 --> 00:13:08,771 no one ever believes that we were friends in college. 244 00:13:08,838 --> 00:13:11,373 Oh, random, but do you remember I was in that comedy 245 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,075 improv troop Bootie and the Hoefish? 246 00:13:14,142 --> 00:13:16,311 Eat Wheaties! Sid. 247 00:13:28,791 --> 00:13:30,693 Call Kate, my girlfriend. 248 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:32,961 Calling Katelyn Just A Friend. 249 00:13:33,028 --> 00:13:34,730 Okay. Uh, hmm. 250 00:13:37,132 --> 00:13:39,434 Hi. This is Katelyn. Leave a message. 251 00:13:39,501 --> 00:13:42,404 Hi Katelyn. Sid Straw. Funny story. 252 00:13:42,471 --> 00:13:44,473 I meant to call Kate, my girlfriend, 253 00:13:44,539 --> 00:13:46,408 which is how her name is saved in my phone, 254 00:13:46,475 --> 00:13:48,076 but the voice command thought I said, 255 00:13:48,143 --> 00:13:49,879 "Katelyn, just a friend," 256 00:13:49,946 --> 00:13:52,614 which is what you put in my phone after our date. 257 00:13:52,682 --> 00:13:55,517 So actually, come to think of it, 258 00:13:55,584 --> 00:13:58,119 you were pretty insistent on us just being friends, 259 00:13:58,186 --> 00:14:00,188 so maybe we should grab lunch sometime. 260 00:14:00,255 --> 00:14:02,457 Okay, give me a call and we can schedule something. 261 00:14:02,524 --> 00:14:03,793 Okay, bye. 262 00:14:05,828 --> 00:14:08,129 Call Kate, my girlfriend. 263 00:14:08,196 --> 00:14:10,065 Calling Katelyn Just A Friend. 264 00:14:10,131 --> 00:14:11,533 Uh, hmm. 265 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,837 Hi. This is Katelyn. Leave a message. 266 00:14:14,904 --> 00:14:18,440 Hi, Katelyn. Sid Straw again. 267 00:14:18,507 --> 00:14:24,546 I'm all for hands-free devices, but WTF, right? 268 00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:27,616 I'm free for lunch tomorrow, if you want to give me a call. 269 00:14:27,683 --> 00:14:29,384 Okay, bye. 270 00:14:30,987 --> 00:14:33,421 Call Kate, my girlfriend. 271 00:14:33,488 --> 00:14:35,658 Calling Ray's Skate Land. 272 00:14:35,725 --> 00:14:37,693 Okay. 273 00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:42,397 Dear Elizabeth. 274 00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:44,967 The reason I'm sending this letter to your agent... 275 00:14:45,033 --> 00:14:47,302 hi, Frankie... is because I heard it's the best way 276 00:14:47,369 --> 00:14:49,471 to reach a huge star like you. 277 00:14:49,538 --> 00:14:52,240 Do you remember when we took Intro to Sociology together 278 00:14:52,307 --> 00:14:54,376 with Professor Katz? 279 00:14:54,442 --> 00:14:56,679 Those were great times. 280 00:14:56,746 --> 00:14:59,214 I hate to be a nuisance, but would it be possible 281 00:14:59,281 --> 00:15:01,784 for you or Frankie or Frankie's assistant 282 00:15:01,851 --> 00:15:05,788 to stick a signed photo of you in the mail? 283 00:15:05,855 --> 00:15:08,323 I would owe you or Frankie or Frankie's assistant, 284 00:15:08,390 --> 00:15:10,625 if she has one, a massive favor. 285 00:15:10,693 --> 00:15:12,561 I'm hoping to still see you at the reunion. 286 00:15:12,627 --> 00:15:16,032 You might not recognize me, 'cause I've been working out. 287 00:15:16,097 --> 00:15:18,133 Sincerely, Sid Straw. 288 00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:37,218 Dear Elizabeth, Frankie, and Frankie's assistant. 289 00:15:37,285 --> 00:15:38,854 I know you're all very busy, 290 00:15:38,921 --> 00:15:41,189 but I haven't received the photo yet. 291 00:15:41,256 --> 00:15:43,358 If you could please send one ASAP, 292 00:15:43,425 --> 00:15:45,795 I would really appreciate it. 293 00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:47,029 Sincerely, Sid Straw. 294 00:15:50,066 --> 00:15:53,168 Hey, Sam, I don't mean to bother you, 295 00:15:53,234 --> 00:15:55,738 but did you get any of my mail today by chance? 296 00:15:57,572 --> 00:16:00,642 No way. 297 00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:04,112 Oh, my gosh. 298 00:16:04,179 --> 00:16:06,916 I think this is it. I think this is it. 299 00:16:06,983 --> 00:16:09,018 Ohh. 300 00:16:09,085 --> 00:16:12,454 Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. 301 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:15,290 I know her. We went to college together. 302 00:16:15,357 --> 00:16:17,192 - Oh. - Yeah. 303 00:16:17,258 --> 00:16:20,663 Is that a smudge? 304 00:16:22,798 --> 00:16:24,366 Oh, no. 305 00:16:38,313 --> 00:16:41,149 WAA, Frankie Riceborough's office. 306 00:16:42,785 --> 00:16:46,989 Is this about a movie or a TV show? 307 00:16:47,056 --> 00:16:49,157 Script pitch? 308 00:16:49,224 --> 00:16:51,493 Did the new Fallon tweet go viral? 309 00:16:51,559 --> 00:16:53,663 Well, he has 50 million followers. 310 00:16:53,729 --> 00:16:55,563 I'm sure some of them watched it. 311 00:16:55,630 --> 00:16:57,933 What is the definition of viral anyway? 312 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,102 Does it have to hit, like, a certain number, or...? 313 00:17:00,168 --> 00:17:01,837 I don't know. 314 00:17:01,904 --> 00:17:04,073 Do you remember the guy Sid Straw? 315 00:17:04,140 --> 00:17:06,274 The guy that keeps asking for autographed photographs 316 00:17:06,341 --> 00:17:08,144 of Elizabeth Banks? 317 00:17:08,209 --> 00:17:09,779 Only because you keep telling me. 318 00:17:09,845 --> 00:17:12,982 Right, the photo that we sent him was smudged. 319 00:17:13,049 --> 00:17:14,884 Oh, it was smudged. 320 00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:17,753 Okay, well, I talked to marketing, and he was right. 321 00:17:17,820 --> 00:17:19,789 Somebody spilled water over the whole stack. 322 00:17:19,855 --> 00:17:22,323 How many letters did this guy send? 323 00:17:22,390 --> 00:17:24,192 - A few. - And now he's calling? 324 00:17:24,259 --> 00:17:25,661 Okay, we have a new policy. 325 00:17:25,728 --> 00:17:27,830 Zero tolerance for client harassment. 326 00:17:27,897 --> 00:17:30,099 Okay, well, technically, he's calling us, not her. 327 00:17:30,166 --> 00:17:34,502 Okay, after this, if there's one more peep from this wacko, 328 00:17:34,569 --> 00:17:36,772 I want our lawyers to get a restraining order. 329 00:17:36,839 --> 00:17:38,741 Okay, well, I don't think it's harassment. 330 00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:40,341 I mean, he says he's a close acquaintance 331 00:17:40,408 --> 00:17:41,443 of Elizabeth Banks. 332 00:17:41,509 --> 00:17:43,045 There is no such thing. 333 00:17:43,112 --> 00:17:44,345 Well, they went to Penn together. 334 00:17:44,412 --> 00:17:45,447 He dated her sister. 335 00:17:45,513 --> 00:17:46,849 Sarah dated him? 336 00:17:46,916 --> 00:17:49,852 Oh no, her... her sorority sister. 337 00:17:49,919 --> 00:17:52,722 Tracey Swid. 338 00:17:52,788 --> 00:17:55,825 Okay. One more peep, and I'll... I'll call legal. 339 00:18:02,597 --> 00:18:05,067 - Hey, Sid. - Hey. Sam-I-am. 340 00:18:05,134 --> 00:18:07,502 "Green Eggs and Ham." That's a good one, yeah. 341 00:18:07,569 --> 00:18:10,673 No, the Sammy Hagar song. 342 00:18:10,740 --> 00:18:13,308 Okay. Cool. 343 00:18:13,374 --> 00:18:16,277 Oh, gosh, why does it keep coming to you? 344 00:18:16,344 --> 00:18:17,947 That's silly. 345 00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:21,150 Yes! Yes! No smudges! 346 00:18:21,217 --> 00:18:22,550 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 347 00:18:22,617 --> 00:18:24,186 Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. 348 00:18:24,252 --> 00:18:25,286 - Wow. - Ah! 349 00:18:32,293 --> 00:18:36,564 Hey, Jeanne, I need a favor. 350 00:18:36,631 --> 00:18:38,701 Do you think you could write this 351 00:18:38,768 --> 00:18:41,904 to make it look like her handwriting, with this? 352 00:18:41,971 --> 00:18:44,206 I thought you said you knew her. 353 00:18:44,272 --> 00:18:46,407 I do. 354 00:18:46,474 --> 00:18:48,576 Fine. 355 00:18:58,988 --> 00:19:00,956 Thank you. 356 00:19:01,023 --> 00:19:02,892 Can I have my... thanks. 357 00:19:15,137 --> 00:19:17,206 Did you like my playlist? 358 00:19:17,273 --> 00:19:19,909 Actually, I haven't gotten a chance to listen to it yet. 359 00:19:19,975 --> 00:19:21,777 Oh, you're listening to it now. 360 00:19:21,844 --> 00:19:24,046 Oh. 361 00:19:24,113 --> 00:19:25,815 Um, cool. 362 00:19:25,881 --> 00:19:27,315 Hey, should we stop and maybe 363 00:19:27,382 --> 00:19:29,118 get something to bring to the party? 364 00:19:29,185 --> 00:19:31,787 The e-vite said they were gonna have beer and mixers. 365 00:19:31,854 --> 00:19:33,756 I'm kind of more of a bubbly person, 366 00:19:33,823 --> 00:19:36,125 so maybe we could get some prosecco? 367 00:19:36,192 --> 00:19:39,394 Ooh, prosecco. Wow. 368 00:19:39,460 --> 00:19:41,997 Oh, there's actually a neat little liquor store a block up. 369 00:19:42,064 --> 00:19:43,565 We could just go there. 370 00:19:43,631 --> 00:19:46,568 - Did you want to stop? - Yeah. 371 00:19:46,634 --> 00:19:49,171 Yeah, let's... let's stop and go get some prosecco. 372 00:19:49,238 --> 00:19:50,505 Just right up there. 373 00:19:50,572 --> 00:19:51,740 I think you can actually see the parking lot. 374 00:19:51,807 --> 00:19:53,641 I only like making right turns, 375 00:19:53,709 --> 00:19:55,845 so is it okay if I kind of do a round 376 00:19:55,911 --> 00:19:58,613 - and then come around that way? - Oh, it's... okay, yes. 377 00:19:58,681 --> 00:20:00,448 If you want, you can do a U-turn right here. 378 00:20:00,515 --> 00:20:01,616 - Ooh. That's... - Right... 379 00:20:01,684 --> 00:20:03,152 I'm not great at those. 380 00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:09,024 I am really nervous about Tom's gift. 381 00:20:09,091 --> 00:20:10,659 You know what I do when I'm nervous? 382 00:20:10,726 --> 00:20:13,095 I take a deep breath, and I hold it in. 383 00:20:13,162 --> 00:20:15,030 I just gotta... I gotta fix things with Janet, 384 00:20:15,097 --> 00:20:17,066 or she's never gonna let me see the baby. 385 00:20:17,132 --> 00:20:19,034 And my instinct is to kind of lighten the mood, 386 00:20:19,101 --> 00:20:21,103 but she makes it really, really, really hard. 387 00:20:21,170 --> 00:20:23,138 Hey, did you want me to sign your name on this? 388 00:20:23,205 --> 00:20:26,208 I put some space after Sid, if you want to add "and Kate." 389 00:20:26,275 --> 00:20:29,178 - No. I'm okay. - Okay. Thanks. 390 00:20:29,245 --> 00:20:31,881 - Hey, Mom and Dad. - Sid. 391 00:20:31,947 --> 00:20:34,549 - Hey. - You must be Kate. 392 00:20:34,616 --> 00:20:36,517 Yes. Hi. Thank you for having me. 393 00:20:36,584 --> 00:20:38,020 - Your yard is beautiful. - Oh, thanks. 394 00:20:38,087 --> 00:20:40,289 Is that Kate like Middleton, with a K, 395 00:20:40,356 --> 00:20:42,523 or Cate like Blanchett, with a C? 396 00:20:42,590 --> 00:20:44,793 Okay, nobody spells Cate with a C. 397 00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:46,729 Well, Caitlyn Jenner. That's a C. 398 00:20:46,795 --> 00:20:48,964 - Is she a Cate? No. - What about Cate Blanchett? 399 00:20:49,031 --> 00:20:50,598 You already said Cate Blanchett. 400 00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,101 Yeah, but you said nobody spells Cate with a C. 401 00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,502 - Nobody except Cate Blanchett. - Well I spell mine with a K. 402 00:20:54,569 --> 00:20:55,704 - Oh. - Oh. 403 00:20:55,771 --> 00:20:56,972 - Oh, well. - Here. I can take those. 404 00:20:57,039 --> 00:20:58,340 - Oh, that's fine. I can... - No. No. No. 405 00:20:58,406 --> 00:20:59,540 - No. No. - Okay. 406 00:20:59,607 --> 00:21:02,878 - Hey, Tom and Janet. - Hey! 407 00:21:02,945 --> 00:21:05,381 I want you to meet my girlfriend Kate. 408 00:21:05,446 --> 00:21:07,850 Girlfriend. Strong word. 409 00:21:07,917 --> 00:21:10,986 Well, I'm a girl and I'm a friend. 410 00:21:11,053 --> 00:21:12,688 Well, it's nice to meet you, Kate. 411 00:21:12,755 --> 00:21:14,857 This is my roommate, Janet. 412 00:21:14,924 --> 00:21:17,159 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 413 00:21:17,226 --> 00:21:20,062 Janet. It's so... to see you. 414 00:21:20,129 --> 00:21:21,697 Right. 415 00:21:21,764 --> 00:21:23,332 I got... look at this. I got some words. 416 00:21:23,399 --> 00:21:24,833 Oh boy. 417 00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:25,834 No. Nope. 418 00:21:25,901 --> 00:21:27,836 Sid, no speeches tonight. I'm sorry. 419 00:21:27,903 --> 00:21:29,805 Aww, but it's something to celebrate. 420 00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:31,606 - It's Tom's birthday. - Yeah, it's not happening. 421 00:21:31,674 --> 00:21:33,876 - How about a simple toast? - I brought some bubbly. 422 00:21:33,943 --> 00:21:35,844 - No toasts. No booze. - Out of... 423 00:21:35,911 --> 00:21:37,379 - Right? - Yeah, out of solidarity. 424 00:21:37,445 --> 00:21:38,646 Yeah. 425 00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:39,782 I thought you said there was gonna be 426 00:21:39,848 --> 00:21:41,449 - beer and mixers tonight. - Oh, no, no, no. 427 00:21:41,516 --> 00:21:43,052 I said ginger beer and root beer, 428 00:21:43,118 --> 00:21:44,653 and a lot of... lot of mixers over there. 429 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,255 But, yeah, no alcohol. 430 00:21:46,322 --> 00:21:49,291 But hey, let him give a speech. You'll make it short, right? 431 00:21:49,358 --> 00:21:52,127 Yes, of course, yes. 432 00:21:52,194 --> 00:21:54,063 Okay, yeah, a toast. But no speech. 433 00:21:54,129 --> 00:21:55,698 And can you do it before our friends show up? 434 00:21:55,764 --> 00:21:56,899 - Yes, of course. Of course. - Great. 435 00:21:56,966 --> 00:21:58,867 - We got a deal. - We got a deal. 436 00:21:58,934 --> 00:22:00,468 We made a deal. We made a deal. 437 00:22:00,535 --> 00:22:02,771 We made a deal! We made a deal! 438 00:22:04,106 --> 00:22:06,574 - All right, here we go. - Short and sweet. 439 00:22:09,144 --> 00:22:10,545 So for those of you who don't know me, 440 00:22:10,611 --> 00:22:13,816 I'm Sid, Tom's brother. 441 00:22:13,882 --> 00:22:16,285 As a child, Tom had one annoying habit: 442 00:22:16,352 --> 00:22:19,054 he never lost his temper. 443 00:22:19,121 --> 00:22:21,757 You could yell at him all you want, 444 00:22:21,824 --> 00:22:23,359 much like his wife Janet does... 445 00:22:25,361 --> 00:22:27,363 but he won't argue back. 446 00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:30,232 His best friend Brandon and I tried everything. 447 00:22:30,299 --> 00:22:32,668 We would step on his fingers with cleats. 448 00:22:32,735 --> 00:22:35,804 We would pull out hair from all parts of his body. 449 00:22:35,871 --> 00:22:37,973 You have a sick mind, Brandon. 450 00:22:42,177 --> 00:22:44,413 Brandon was supposed to be here for that one. 451 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,515 So even though Tom may not get mad, 452 00:22:47,582 --> 00:22:49,251 he knows how to get even. 453 00:22:49,318 --> 00:22:52,154 He eats your possessions. 454 00:22:52,221 --> 00:22:54,289 - That's correct. - I mean, it's a perfect crime. 455 00:22:54,356 --> 00:22:55,590 There's no evidence. 456 00:22:55,657 --> 00:22:59,128 Unless it's Mom's breakfast lasagne. 457 00:22:59,194 --> 00:23:01,196 Agh! 458 00:23:07,836 --> 00:23:10,839 It's just a joke, Mom. 459 00:23:10,906 --> 00:23:13,742 Things my brother has eaten. 460 00:23:13,809 --> 00:23:15,210 Numero uno, 461 00:23:15,277 --> 00:23:17,780 a 1983 Dan Quisenberry Strat-O-Matic card. 462 00:23:17,846 --> 00:23:18,881 Do you remember that? 463 00:23:18,947 --> 00:23:21,250 Quiz was unhittable. 464 00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:23,085 But he was not uneatable. 465 00:23:23,152 --> 00:23:25,054 Okay, Sid, let's wrap it up. 466 00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:28,556 Okay. I'll get to the finale. 467 00:23:28,623 --> 00:23:31,193 List of celebrities who died at 34. 468 00:23:32,895 --> 00:23:35,531 Dana Plato from "Diff'rent Strokes." 469 00:23:35,596 --> 00:23:37,800 She was taken from us too soon. 470 00:23:37,866 --> 00:23:39,768 Serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer, 471 00:23:39,835 --> 00:23:41,870 who was probably taken from us a little too late. 472 00:23:41,937 --> 00:23:45,040 And outlaw Jesse James, the one who robbed banks, 473 00:23:45,107 --> 00:23:46,574 not the one who robbed Sandra Bullock 474 00:23:46,641 --> 00:23:47,910 of five years of her life. 475 00:23:47,976 --> 00:23:53,082 So congratulations to Tom for surviving 34 years. 476 00:23:53,148 --> 00:23:56,251 If you die this year, at 35 years old, 477 00:23:56,318 --> 00:23:58,554 you will be in much better company, 478 00:23:58,619 --> 00:24:02,391 with Mozart, Andy Kaufman, 479 00:24:02,458 --> 00:24:05,593 and Ol' Dirty Bastard. 480 00:24:05,661 --> 00:24:07,996 - Hear, hear. - Hear. 481 00:24:08,063 --> 00:24:09,597 - Hear, hear. - Hear, hear. 482 00:24:09,665 --> 00:24:11,166 - Love you. - Love you. 483 00:24:14,770 --> 00:24:16,672 - Well, this is from me. - Oh, yeah? 484 00:24:16,738 --> 00:24:17,773 - Us. - Oh. 485 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:18,907 I bought it. 486 00:24:18,974 --> 00:24:20,375 Well, you used my credit card. 487 00:24:20,442 --> 00:24:21,577 Doesn't matter who bought it. 488 00:24:21,642 --> 00:24:23,178 It's a good one. 18 years old. 489 00:24:23,245 --> 00:24:25,414 Oh, you got a sick mind, Brandon. 490 00:24:29,751 --> 00:24:31,920 It's a call back from his speech earlier. 491 00:24:31,987 --> 00:24:33,722 Thank you, Brandon. Thank you, Allie. 492 00:24:33,789 --> 00:24:35,891 - Here. This is from me. - Ooh. 493 00:24:42,998 --> 00:24:45,567 "Dear Tom, I hope you are as cute as your brother. 494 00:24:45,633 --> 00:24:47,803 Elizabeth Banks." 495 00:24:47,870 --> 00:24:50,005 What? What? 496 00:24:50,072 --> 00:24:53,041 Sid, that's incredible. 497 00:24:53,108 --> 00:24:55,444 My God. 498 00:24:55,511 --> 00:24:57,880 I love it, Sid. Holy cow. 499 00:24:57,946 --> 00:24:59,647 So is that, like, a gag gift? 500 00:24:59,715 --> 00:25:01,416 No, no, she signed it. Look. 501 00:25:01,483 --> 00:25:02,718 Right here. She signed it. 502 00:25:02,784 --> 00:25:05,587 Sid claims that he dated her in college. 503 00:25:05,654 --> 00:25:07,289 I dated her sorority sister. 504 00:25:07,356 --> 00:25:10,259 But do you not have two copies of "Seabiscuit"? 505 00:25:10,325 --> 00:25:12,094 I purchased a DVD of "Seabiscuit" 506 00:25:12,161 --> 00:25:15,330 at the used section of a Blockbuster. 507 00:25:15,397 --> 00:25:18,500 And then I received a complimentary copy 508 00:25:18,567 --> 00:25:20,102 with a new Blu-ray player. 509 00:25:20,169 --> 00:25:22,104 - Ooh. Score. - That's two copies. 510 00:25:22,171 --> 00:25:25,207 - So I'm a casual fan. - And I'm a casual friend. 511 00:25:25,274 --> 00:25:27,409 - That's not a thing. - No, that's a thing. 512 00:25:27,476 --> 00:25:29,811 - I'm pretty sure it's not. - No, it is. 513 00:25:29,878 --> 00:25:31,680 - Nope. - Yeah. 514 00:25:31,747 --> 00:25:33,882 - You sure? - Mm-hmm. 515 00:25:37,953 --> 00:25:39,688 Do you see what I see? 516 00:25:39,755 --> 00:25:40,889 - I think I do. - Yes, you do. 517 00:25:40,956 --> 00:25:42,624 What is it? 518 00:25:42,691 --> 00:25:45,093 I see my girlfriend Kate... 519 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,196 Standing next to your wife Allie. 520 00:25:47,262 --> 00:25:48,530 Yep. 521 00:25:48,597 --> 00:25:51,967 - I don't get it. - I doubt you're missing much. 522 00:25:52,034 --> 00:25:55,137 ♪ Sometimes tears of sorrows ♪ 523 00:25:55,204 --> 00:25:56,772 ♪ Are all the things I've got ♪ 524 00:25:56,838 --> 00:25:58,507 Yes. 525 00:25:58,574 --> 00:25:59,908 ♪ Just when you think ♪ 526 00:25:59,975 --> 00:26:02,679 ♪ You're all by yourself, you're not ♪ 527 00:26:02,744 --> 00:26:05,814 - ♪ Ba-da-da-da ♪ - Up top. 528 00:26:05,881 --> 00:26:07,316 Is that the "Family Ties" theme? 529 00:26:07,382 --> 00:26:08,550 No, not "Family Ties." 530 00:26:08,617 --> 00:26:10,653 It's "Kate & Allie." 531 00:26:10,719 --> 00:26:11,820 - Kate and Allie. - Oh. 532 00:26:11,887 --> 00:26:13,422 - Great show. - Great show. 533 00:26:13,488 --> 00:26:14,890 Underrated show, actually. 534 00:26:14,957 --> 00:26:16,391 Yeah. It was ahead of its time. 535 00:26:16,458 --> 00:26:17,392 It was ahead of its time. 536 00:26:17,459 --> 00:26:20,329 Sid, how'd you get that picture? 537 00:26:22,097 --> 00:26:23,799 I told you. We went to Penn together. 538 00:26:23,865 --> 00:26:25,334 I'm co-chairing the reunion. 539 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,705 My friend Zoey from Harvard works at her talent agency. 540 00:26:28,804 --> 00:26:32,140 I had forgotten you went to Harvard. 541 00:26:32,207 --> 00:26:33,809 You didn't mention it today. 542 00:26:33,875 --> 00:26:35,344 I bet Zoey knows her agent. 543 00:26:35,410 --> 00:26:37,546 Yeah, her name is Frankie Riceborough. 544 00:26:37,613 --> 00:26:40,983 Zoey can ask Frankie to ask Liz is she knows Sid. 545 00:26:41,049 --> 00:26:42,951 - Ooh. - All right. 546 00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:46,488 We'll play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. 547 00:26:46,555 --> 00:26:48,857 Two degrees. Would only be two degrees. 548 00:26:48,924 --> 00:26:50,792 If you actually know her. 549 00:26:50,859 --> 00:26:52,394 Come on, we don't have to do this right now. 550 00:26:52,461 --> 00:26:53,762 That's silly. 551 00:26:53,829 --> 00:26:56,431 Just... I mean, just let us know when she gets back to you. 552 00:26:56,498 --> 00:26:57,833 Just tell her I said hi. 553 00:26:57,899 --> 00:26:59,635 Actually, tell her I said "Eat Wheaties!" 554 00:26:59,702 --> 00:27:01,036 She'll remember that. 555 00:27:01,103 --> 00:27:03,972 Oh, I already sent it. So don't worry about it. 556 00:27:04,039 --> 00:27:06,709 - She's writing back. - Uh-oh. 557 00:27:06,775 --> 00:27:10,012 I gotta prop myself up for this one. 558 00:27:10,078 --> 00:27:12,247 Oh. Her agent left. 559 00:27:12,314 --> 00:27:13,649 Oh. 560 00:27:13,716 --> 00:27:15,851 - Oh, bummer. - Damn it. 561 00:27:15,917 --> 00:27:17,754 ♪ Just when you think ♪ 562 00:27:17,819 --> 00:27:21,790 - ♪ You're all by yourself ♪ - ♪ You're not ♪ 563 00:27:21,857 --> 00:27:23,660 - Went for it there, huh? - Not. 564 00:27:23,726 --> 00:27:24,926 I went for it. 565 00:27:30,599 --> 00:27:32,367 Mmm. Hey. 566 00:27:32,434 --> 00:27:34,903 I got time to come up for a drink. 567 00:27:34,970 --> 00:27:37,005 You know, I'm actually pretty tired. 568 00:27:37,072 --> 00:27:38,640 Oh, okay. All right. 569 00:27:38,708 --> 00:27:40,942 I think... 570 00:27:41,009 --> 00:27:42,779 I think we need to slow things down. 571 00:27:42,844 --> 00:27:44,379 Like, musically? 572 00:27:44,446 --> 00:27:47,282 Romantically. 573 00:27:47,349 --> 00:27:48,417 Oh. 574 00:27:48,483 --> 00:27:50,118 I'm sorry. 575 00:27:50,185 --> 00:27:52,254 An ex just kind of came back into town, 576 00:27:52,321 --> 00:27:54,956 and I want to see where that goes. 577 00:27:55,023 --> 00:27:57,526 - Yeah. - No hard feelings? 578 00:27:57,592 --> 00:27:58,860 No. No. No. No. 579 00:27:58,927 --> 00:28:00,295 Ooh, your hands are wetter than mine. 580 00:28:00,362 --> 00:28:02,397 Sid, I was so nervous about this conversation. 581 00:28:02,464 --> 00:28:03,733 Oh, that's okay. 582 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,467 Tried to get drunk at your parents' house, I'm sorry. 583 00:28:05,534 --> 00:28:08,503 That's all right. I appreciate your clamminess. 584 00:28:10,205 --> 00:28:12,040 - Take care, Sid. - I will. 585 00:28:12,107 --> 00:28:14,543 Yeah, yeah. Thanks. 586 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:26,188 - Good night, Sid. Bye. - Bye, bye. 587 00:28:26,254 --> 00:28:28,857 Good night. Thought we had something. 588 00:28:31,226 --> 00:28:33,328 But I guess we didn't. 589 00:28:38,100 --> 00:28:41,503 Guess we did not. 590 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:54,817 Is it wrong that I made your birthday party a sober one? 591 00:28:54,883 --> 00:28:57,119 Wrong? No. 592 00:28:57,185 --> 00:29:00,021 Little bit selfish. 593 00:29:00,088 --> 00:29:01,289 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 594 00:29:01,356 --> 00:29:03,158 You were extra hard on him tonight. 595 00:29:03,225 --> 00:29:05,026 What? Extra...? That's our thing. 596 00:29:05,093 --> 00:29:08,263 That's what we do. He pushes my buttons. 597 00:29:08,330 --> 00:29:11,266 You know that speech he said about me never getting angry? 598 00:29:11,333 --> 00:29:13,770 It's because I idolized him. 599 00:29:13,836 --> 00:29:15,504 He would hang out with my friends. 600 00:29:15,570 --> 00:29:17,005 I'd tag along with his. 601 00:29:17,072 --> 00:29:19,776 - Sid had friends? - Oh yeah. 602 00:29:19,842 --> 00:29:22,712 And then I went away, and he was all alone, like, a lot. 603 00:29:22,779 --> 00:29:25,647 When you say it like that, it makes me feel bad for him. 604 00:29:25,715 --> 00:29:27,649 And then we came back. We have our thing. 605 00:29:27,717 --> 00:29:28,851 Yeah. 606 00:29:28,917 --> 00:29:30,318 And you're seen how my parents are. 607 00:29:30,385 --> 00:29:33,321 Yeah, 'cause they never close any doors. 608 00:29:33,388 --> 00:29:35,123 But that's the kind of intense, like, 609 00:29:35,190 --> 00:29:37,492 all-in relationship that Sid's always wanted. 610 00:29:37,559 --> 00:29:39,762 And that's when he started trying too hard 611 00:29:39,829 --> 00:29:44,466 and saying too much and became the Sid that you know. 612 00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:47,068 Yep, the Sid that ruined our wedding. 613 00:29:47,135 --> 00:29:49,070 He didn't ruin our wedding. 614 00:29:49,137 --> 00:29:51,406 Sid stepped on my wedding dress and tore it. 615 00:29:51,473 --> 00:29:54,309 My wedding dress. On my wedding day. 616 00:29:54,376 --> 00:29:58,046 And then he invited that baseball guy as his plus one. 617 00:29:58,113 --> 00:30:00,081 Who does that? 618 00:30:00,148 --> 00:30:02,050 - It's not funny. - No. 619 00:30:02,117 --> 00:30:03,552 It was not a funny situation at all. 620 00:30:03,618 --> 00:30:04,953 No, it's not funny. 621 00:30:05,020 --> 00:30:06,288 But he tried to make up for it. 622 00:30:06,354 --> 00:30:08,490 Yeah, well, he tries too hard. 623 00:30:08,557 --> 00:30:11,626 Think about the time and effort it must have taken 624 00:30:11,694 --> 00:30:13,595 to get me that signed photo. 625 00:30:16,866 --> 00:30:18,701 Did I sabotage things with Kate? 626 00:30:18,768 --> 00:30:20,903 Oh, no, he probably did that on his own. 627 00:30:20,969 --> 00:30:23,638 - Yeah. - Yeah. 628 00:30:23,706 --> 00:30:25,173 You know what? 629 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:27,777 I am going to send Sid a friend request. 630 00:30:27,844 --> 00:30:29,812 Aww. 631 00:30:29,879 --> 00:30:30,979 - Look at you. - Yep. 632 00:30:31,046 --> 00:30:33,716 - So sweet. - Mm-hmm. 633 00:30:33,783 --> 00:30:35,617 Dear Elizabeth. 634 00:30:35,685 --> 00:30:39,287 Kate broke up with me tonight. It came out of nowhere. 635 00:30:39,354 --> 00:30:40,989 It was just like in "Definitely Maybe," 636 00:30:41,056 --> 00:30:43,325 when you told Ryan Reynolds that you cheated on him 637 00:30:43,391 --> 00:30:44,727 with his roommate after he proposed, 638 00:30:44,794 --> 00:30:46,194 to get him to break up with you, 639 00:30:46,261 --> 00:30:48,029 even though you didn't. 640 00:30:48,096 --> 00:30:49,732 Although I didn't propose to Kate, 641 00:30:49,799 --> 00:30:52,167 and she didn't say she cheated on me. 642 00:30:52,234 --> 00:30:54,904 Do you think that means she did cheat on me? 643 00:30:54,971 --> 00:30:57,205 Oh, and if somebody named Zoey asks your agent Frankie 644 00:30:57,272 --> 00:30:58,607 if you know me, 645 00:30:58,674 --> 00:31:00,275 could you please just have her say yes? 646 00:31:00,342 --> 00:31:02,110 I'd really appreciate it. 647 00:31:02,177 --> 00:31:04,012 Eat Wheaties! Sid. 648 00:31:09,017 --> 00:31:10,418 Anyone call? 649 00:31:10,485 --> 00:31:12,955 Jasper Aronavich called, and Sid Straw. 650 00:31:13,021 --> 00:31:15,624 - Who is Sid Straw? - The Banks guy. 651 00:31:15,691 --> 00:31:18,360 - He peeped? - He said that Zoey Dobbs 652 00:31:18,426 --> 00:31:20,195 might ask you whether or not you know him, 653 00:31:20,262 --> 00:31:22,665 and if she does, if you would please say yes. 654 00:31:22,732 --> 00:31:25,868 - Peep, peep, peep. - What do you want me to do? 655 00:31:25,935 --> 00:31:27,402 Get the restraining order. 656 00:31:27,469 --> 00:31:28,871 - And... - This is cold. 657 00:31:28,938 --> 00:31:30,773 And if Zoey asks if you know him? 658 00:31:36,311 --> 00:31:39,180 Sorry to hear about your girlfriend. 659 00:31:39,247 --> 00:31:40,883 Oh, it's okay. 660 00:31:40,950 --> 00:31:45,788 Gosh, I got tell you, man, your house, your family. 661 00:31:45,855 --> 00:31:47,690 Like a magazine. 662 00:31:47,757 --> 00:31:50,927 Yep. things are pretty good at the homestead. 663 00:31:50,993 --> 00:31:52,862 - Yeah. - Fred. 664 00:31:52,929 --> 00:31:56,799 Come on. It's time to eat. 665 00:31:56,866 --> 00:31:58,133 Hey, I didn't tell you, 666 00:31:58,199 --> 00:32:00,670 I sent a friend request to Elizabeth Banks. 667 00:32:00,736 --> 00:32:02,404 I mean, she hasn't accepted yet, but... 668 00:32:02,470 --> 00:32:05,473 She, um, probably won't. 669 00:32:05,540 --> 00:32:06,676 But her agent was really nice. 670 00:32:06,742 --> 00:32:08,476 He sent me an autographed picture. 671 00:32:08,543 --> 00:32:10,412 - Her agent. - Yeah. 672 00:32:10,478 --> 00:32:14,984 Have I ever told you the story of the atomic wedgie? 673 00:32:15,051 --> 00:32:16,551 No. 674 00:32:16,618 --> 00:32:18,754 I was six or seven years old. 675 00:32:18,821 --> 00:32:23,224 I had a crush on a senior named Sherri back in Saegertown. 676 00:32:23,291 --> 00:32:24,626 Now, she was older than me, 677 00:32:24,694 --> 00:32:26,194 but you know all the pretty girls. 678 00:32:26,261 --> 00:32:28,430 - Yeah. - So anyway, 679 00:32:28,496 --> 00:32:31,000 she babysits a friend of mine, Josh, right? 680 00:32:31,067 --> 00:32:34,569 One day Josh invites me over while she's watching him. 681 00:32:34,636 --> 00:32:37,505 He and I like WWF. We're horsing around. 682 00:32:37,572 --> 00:32:39,541 - Yeah. - Sherri's watching. 683 00:32:39,608 --> 00:32:43,679 She says, "I want a turn." Yes! Okay. Fine. 684 00:32:43,746 --> 00:32:45,748 So she takes it easy, right in the beginning. 685 00:32:45,815 --> 00:32:47,649 And then she gets Josh in this serious headlock, right? 686 00:32:47,717 --> 00:32:48,784 Yeah. 687 00:32:48,851 --> 00:32:51,087 - I'm freaking out, I tag in. - Yeah. 688 00:32:51,152 --> 00:32:54,023 And I give her an atomic wedgie. 689 00:32:54,090 --> 00:32:55,256 What? 690 00:32:55,323 --> 00:32:57,927 She let go of Josh pretty fast. 691 00:32:57,994 --> 00:33:00,495 Cut to ten years later. 692 00:33:00,562 --> 00:33:02,364 I sneak in to see "Basic Instinct," 693 00:33:02,430 --> 00:33:05,400 and show do I see up on the big screen but Sherri, 694 00:33:05,467 --> 00:33:08,169 and she's not wearing any... 695 00:33:08,236 --> 00:33:10,238 - Panties. - That's right, buddy. 696 00:33:10,305 --> 00:33:12,440 You know the story better than most. 697 00:33:12,507 --> 00:33:14,076 Wait, you were talking about Sharon Stone? 698 00:33:14,142 --> 00:33:16,144 Well, she's Sherri to me. 699 00:33:16,211 --> 00:33:18,014 You gave a wedgie to Sharon Stone? 700 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:19,982 It's my claim to fame. 701 00:33:20,049 --> 00:33:22,484 Do you, like, keep in touch with her and stuff? 702 00:33:22,550 --> 00:33:25,821 Sharon Stone? No. She's Sharon Stone. 703 00:33:25,888 --> 00:33:28,724 - That's crazy, man. - Yeah, it's nuts. 704 00:33:28,791 --> 00:33:31,259 I smell gas. 705 00:33:31,326 --> 00:33:32,795 No. 706 00:33:32,862 --> 00:33:34,096 I don't smell anything. 707 00:33:34,162 --> 00:33:37,033 You smell that? Oh yeah. 708 00:33:37,099 --> 00:33:39,167 Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. 709 00:33:39,234 --> 00:33:41,971 - Wow, you got a good nose. - Okay. 710 00:33:42,038 --> 00:33:43,238 I smell it now, yeah. 711 00:33:43,304 --> 00:33:46,374 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. 712 00:33:46,441 --> 00:33:47,910 No one take a nap. 713 00:33:47,977 --> 00:33:49,177 Dear Elizabeth, 714 00:33:49,244 --> 00:33:51,279 I got a lot of free time now, 715 00:33:51,346 --> 00:33:52,815 since the breakup, 716 00:33:52,882 --> 00:33:54,717 and I started writing a children's story. 717 00:33:54,784 --> 00:33:57,485 It's called "Fred Smells." Here's an excerpt. 718 00:33:57,552 --> 00:34:02,390 "This is a story I have to tell. 719 00:34:02,457 --> 00:34:07,562 It's all about Fred and how Fred smells." 720 00:34:09,297 --> 00:34:11,801 By the way, Professor Katz RSVP'd 721 00:34:11,867 --> 00:34:13,736 and he's coming to the reunion. 722 00:34:13,803 --> 00:34:16,672 Do you remember when he fell asleep and someone wrote 723 00:34:16,739 --> 00:34:18,908 "Just a little Katz nap" on the chalkboard? 724 00:34:18,974 --> 00:34:20,442 That's was me! 725 00:34:20,508 --> 00:34:22,477 You and Tracey Swid sat in the front row. 726 00:34:22,544 --> 00:34:24,345 I was in the fourth row. 727 00:34:24,412 --> 00:34:26,882 Of course, maybe you didn't notice me, but I was there. 728 00:34:26,949 --> 00:34:30,753 Hey, is there any way you have Tracey Swid's contact info? 729 00:34:30,820 --> 00:34:33,756 I mean, I'm single, clearly, and ready to mingle. 730 00:34:33,823 --> 00:34:36,357 Eat Wheaties! Sid. 731 00:34:49,604 --> 00:34:52,108 They made me sign for this at reception. 732 00:34:52,174 --> 00:34:54,744 Apparently, you've been served. 733 00:34:56,444 --> 00:34:58,881 I need to see you touch it. 734 00:35:01,183 --> 00:35:03,919 Okay. 735 00:35:14,362 --> 00:35:17,298 What? 736 00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:19,467 Restraining order? 737 00:35:24,940 --> 00:35:26,976 - Yeah, this is legit. - I don't understand. 738 00:35:27,042 --> 00:35:29,444 She lives in Los Angeles. In live in Arizona. 739 00:35:29,511 --> 00:35:31,046 You know how easy it is to get a restraining order? 740 00:35:31,113 --> 00:35:32,748 How easy is it? 741 00:35:32,815 --> 00:35:35,517 A phone call, and one notarized document. 742 00:35:35,583 --> 00:35:36,886 Maybe two phone calls. 743 00:35:36,952 --> 00:35:38,620 But I don't know what that means exactly. 744 00:35:38,687 --> 00:35:40,555 It means the court declared you a threat 745 00:35:40,622 --> 00:35:42,290 - to their personal safety. - In layman's terms, 746 00:35:42,357 --> 00:35:43,591 it means you have to stay away from them. 747 00:35:43,659 --> 00:35:44,860 I was speaking in layman's terms. 748 00:35:44,927 --> 00:35:46,461 If layman is a lawyer, then I agree. 749 00:35:46,528 --> 00:35:48,063 I'm co-chairing our college reunion. 750 00:35:48,130 --> 00:35:50,298 Elizabeth Banks is invited. What if she shows up? 751 00:35:50,365 --> 00:35:51,734 You won't be able to go. 752 00:35:51,801 --> 00:35:53,102 Unless you contest the restraining order. 753 00:35:53,169 --> 00:35:54,335 And win. 754 00:35:54,402 --> 00:35:55,436 I think even the layman got what I meant. 755 00:35:55,503 --> 00:35:56,705 If you don't stop, 756 00:35:56,772 --> 00:35:58,606 you may not be a layman for a long time. 757 00:35:58,674 --> 00:36:00,608 So how much would it be to fight it? 758 00:36:00,676 --> 00:36:03,212 - I bill at 750 an hour. - I'm 800. 759 00:36:03,279 --> 00:36:06,148 Wow, that's a lot. 760 00:36:06,215 --> 00:36:09,051 You couldn't resolve it in half an hour, could you? 761 00:36:09,118 --> 00:36:10,186 No. 762 00:36:10,252 --> 00:36:13,555 Sorry. 763 00:36:13,621 --> 00:36:15,658 How much do you charge by the hour? 764 00:36:15,724 --> 00:36:16,892 $450. 765 00:36:16,959 --> 00:36:19,261 Hmm, you can't do it in 45 minutes? 766 00:36:19,327 --> 00:36:21,462 No. No, I can't. 767 00:36:21,529 --> 00:36:22,798 It was nice meeting you. 768 00:36:22,865 --> 00:36:24,733 Welcome to Fisk and Sons. 769 00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,303 Are you the Fisk or are you a son? 770 00:36:27,368 --> 00:36:28,704 I am Fisk. 771 00:36:28,771 --> 00:36:31,207 - Oh. - And these are my two sons. 772 00:36:31,273 --> 00:36:32,741 - Oh. - And my wife. 773 00:36:32,808 --> 00:36:34,509 - Hi. - Hi. Nice to meet you. 774 00:36:34,576 --> 00:36:36,779 We're not lawyers. 775 00:36:36,846 --> 00:36:39,347 She is the best thing that ever happened to me. 776 00:36:39,414 --> 00:36:41,317 Aww. How did you two meet? 777 00:36:41,382 --> 00:36:43,819 Online. 778 00:36:43,886 --> 00:36:46,188 Gosh. The whole world is online. 779 00:36:46,255 --> 00:36:47,488 Oh, tell me about it. 780 00:36:47,555 --> 00:36:50,025 I even got my law degree online. 781 00:36:50,092 --> 00:36:51,794 I don't want to waste your time. 782 00:36:51,861 --> 00:36:54,330 How much do you charge by the hour? 783 00:36:54,395 --> 00:37:00,002 My rate is 85... 784 00:37:00,069 --> 00:37:01,971 dollars an hour. 785 00:37:02,037 --> 00:37:03,305 Perfect. 786 00:37:03,404 --> 00:37:06,075 Yeah? 787 00:37:06,141 --> 00:37:08,143 Put her there. 788 00:37:10,511 --> 00:37:13,082 Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy, what's going on? 789 00:37:17,452 --> 00:37:19,587 - State Bar of Arizona. - Hi. 790 00:37:19,655 --> 00:37:21,589 Are you able to confirm if my lawyer 791 00:37:21,657 --> 00:37:23,692 is in good standing with this state bar? 792 00:37:23,759 --> 00:37:26,662 - What's his name? - James Fisk. 793 00:37:26,729 --> 00:37:30,666 He went to John Morris Law School, dot com. 794 00:37:30,733 --> 00:37:33,135 Come in. 795 00:37:33,202 --> 00:37:35,871 Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt. 796 00:37:35,938 --> 00:37:38,841 I'm gonna have to represent myself in this matter. 797 00:37:38,908 --> 00:37:42,577 Yeah, no, Sid, whatever you think is best. 798 00:37:42,644 --> 00:37:43,946 I hate to say this. 799 00:37:44,013 --> 00:37:45,413 - Okay, I need some wipes. - Hey. 800 00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:46,849 Thank you. 801 00:37:46,916 --> 00:37:48,650 Yeah, also, the bar said that since your degree 802 00:37:48,717 --> 00:37:49,985 is from a non-accredited law school, 803 00:37:50,052 --> 00:37:51,687 you're technically practicing law illegally. 804 00:37:51,754 --> 00:37:53,022 I didn't want to say that to you. 805 00:37:53,088 --> 00:37:54,589 You're such a nice man. 806 00:37:54,657 --> 00:37:58,559 - No, that makes sense. - Yeah. 807 00:37:58,626 --> 00:38:00,796 - I just... if I can chime in. - Yeah. 808 00:38:00,863 --> 00:38:03,966 He really is so much smarter than he looks. 809 00:38:04,033 --> 00:38:05,868 Oh, yeah. 810 00:38:05,935 --> 00:38:07,435 Baby, that's... that's a compliment. 811 00:38:07,502 --> 00:38:10,706 - Oh, I know. - Yeah. 812 00:38:10,773 --> 00:38:12,708 You know, hey, if you ever get in good standing, 813 00:38:12,775 --> 00:38:14,276 I'd love to work together. 814 00:38:14,343 --> 00:38:18,948 Absolutely, Sid. And it was nice to meet you. 815 00:38:19,014 --> 00:38:22,650 Yeah, so nice meeting you. And nice meeting you. 816 00:38:22,718 --> 00:38:25,154 Nice meeting you, Sid. 817 00:38:34,396 --> 00:38:36,231 Sid. 818 00:38:36,298 --> 00:38:38,167 You've been here a long time. 819 00:38:38,233 --> 00:38:39,768 - Mm-hmm. - Longer than me. 820 00:38:39,835 --> 00:38:42,537 - Yeah. - You never take vacation. 821 00:38:42,603 --> 00:38:45,708 You use Skype for long-distance calls. 822 00:38:45,774 --> 00:38:49,912 And you are diligent with your courtesy flush. 823 00:38:49,979 --> 00:38:54,515 But your recent browser history is problematic. 824 00:38:54,582 --> 00:38:55,818 Hmm? 825 00:38:55,884 --> 00:38:58,120 You spend too much time on social media. 826 00:38:58,187 --> 00:38:59,520 Let me explain. 827 00:38:59,587 --> 00:39:02,057 It was for a college reunion, and I know Elizabeth Banks. 828 00:39:02,124 --> 00:39:05,361 Look, I know it can get lonely when you're single. 829 00:39:05,427 --> 00:39:10,666 After my divorce, I made some questionable decisions. 830 00:39:10,733 --> 00:39:13,035 And then I met Ruth. 831 00:39:16,905 --> 00:39:18,674 Ah. 832 00:39:18,741 --> 00:39:22,344 There's zero tolerance for office tomfoolery. 833 00:39:22,411 --> 00:39:25,314 Consider yourself on notice. 834 00:39:25,381 --> 00:39:27,149 Yes, Bruce. 835 00:39:27,216 --> 00:39:28,583 Dear Elizabeth. 836 00:39:28,649 --> 00:39:29,852 Have you ever felt like your life 837 00:39:29,918 --> 00:39:31,820 was spiraling out of control, 838 00:39:31,887 --> 00:39:34,656 like your movie "Walk of Shame," 839 00:39:34,723 --> 00:39:36,692 you know minus the crack dealers? 840 00:39:36,759 --> 00:39:38,526 First, there's the restraining order, 841 00:39:38,593 --> 00:39:40,029 which I'm sure is a misunderstanding 842 00:39:40,095 --> 00:39:41,196 with your agent. 843 00:39:41,263 --> 00:39:43,332 Then I got put on notice at work. 844 00:39:43,399 --> 00:39:44,500 Don't even ask. 845 00:39:44,565 --> 00:39:45,968 And it turns out the caterer 846 00:39:46,035 --> 00:39:48,904 I wanted for the reunion is double-booked. 847 00:39:48,971 --> 00:39:50,773 I mean, by the looks of your Facebook page, 848 00:39:50,839 --> 00:39:54,877 things are great for you, so keep it up. 849 00:39:54,943 --> 00:39:57,578 And if I figure out the legal stuff, 850 00:39:57,645 --> 00:39:59,048 I'll just look for you at the reunion. 851 00:39:59,114 --> 00:40:02,084 Eat Wheaties! Sid. 852 00:40:08,556 --> 00:40:11,093 What? 853 00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:15,197 Oh. No. 854 00:40:15,264 --> 00:40:17,032 - No. - What? 855 00:40:17,099 --> 00:40:19,802 Well, have you seen your brother's Facebook? 856 00:40:19,868 --> 00:40:21,904 Oh my God, it's blowing up. 857 00:40:21,970 --> 00:40:24,306 - What? Why? - Wait. Stop, I'm reading. 858 00:40:24,373 --> 00:40:27,943 Let me see it. 859 00:40:28,010 --> 00:40:31,080 - What is that? - Oh, my God. 860 00:40:31,146 --> 00:40:35,284 He's writing crazy posts on Elizabeth Banks' fan page. 861 00:40:35,350 --> 00:40:37,453 Look, and now people are starting to take notice. 862 00:40:37,519 --> 00:40:40,089 - Oh, no. - No. 863 00:40:40,155 --> 00:40:42,724 He doesn't know that he's posting them publicly. 864 00:40:42,791 --> 00:40:44,793 Look at all the comments. 865 00:40:44,860 --> 00:40:46,495 Wow, it's actually kind of impressive. 866 00:40:46,562 --> 00:40:48,931 I got to call him, tell him to take them down. 867 00:40:48,997 --> 00:40:50,631 Yeah, well, it's too late for that. 868 00:40:50,699 --> 00:40:51,900 What do you mean it's too late? 869 00:40:51,967 --> 00:40:53,335 You can't take stuff off the Facebook. 870 00:40:53,402 --> 00:40:55,037 What are you talking about? Of course you can. 871 00:40:55,104 --> 00:40:56,505 Once it's on... 872 00:40:59,374 --> 00:41:00,843 Hey, Tom. 873 00:41:00,909 --> 00:41:02,177 Sid! Sid! The Facebook. 874 00:41:02,244 --> 00:41:03,644 You've got to take the stuff... 875 00:41:03,712 --> 00:41:06,482 Ooh, I need to call you back. Hi. 876 00:41:06,548 --> 00:41:09,718 Didn't you get my letter? 877 00:41:09,785 --> 00:41:11,753 No, I didn't get anything. 878 00:41:11,820 --> 00:41:15,824 - You need to read my letter. - Oh. All right. 879 00:41:15,891 --> 00:41:20,195 Well, maybe Jeanne has it. Sorry. Jeanne? 880 00:41:20,262 --> 00:41:23,398 Hey Jeanne, do you have a letter for me from... 881 00:41:23,465 --> 00:41:25,033 Oh. 882 00:41:25,100 --> 00:41:27,035 I don't know why you didn't give this to me. 883 00:41:34,343 --> 00:41:35,511 What? 884 00:41:35,577 --> 00:41:37,746 Sorry. 885 00:41:39,948 --> 00:41:41,783 You said I was just on notice. 886 00:41:41,850 --> 00:41:43,651 That's before I saw your posts 887 00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:46,155 on Elizabeth Banks' Facebook page. 888 00:41:47,856 --> 00:41:49,858 How do you know about those? 889 00:41:49,925 --> 00:41:52,494 - They went viral. - What does that mean? 890 00:41:52,561 --> 00:41:55,430 It means a lot of people saw it. 891 00:41:57,566 --> 00:41:58,934 How many people saw it? 892 00:41:59,001 --> 00:42:01,403 Who knows? Like a thousand. 893 00:42:01,470 --> 00:42:03,005 More like a million. 894 00:42:03,071 --> 00:42:05,274 - What? - All of our customers. 895 00:42:05,340 --> 00:42:06,975 If you're gonna obsess over a celebrity, 896 00:42:07,042 --> 00:42:08,710 I suggest you do it in private. 897 00:42:08,777 --> 00:42:12,281 I'm not obsessed with Elizabeth Banks. 898 00:42:12,347 --> 00:42:15,684 I'm not obsessed with Elizabeth Banks. 899 00:42:15,751 --> 00:42:17,719 The restraining order says otherwise. 900 00:42:17,786 --> 00:42:19,388 That is a temporary restraining order. 901 00:42:19,454 --> 00:42:21,156 And do you know how easy those are to get? 902 00:42:21,223 --> 00:42:23,692 It is one phone call and one notarized document. 903 00:42:23,759 --> 00:42:26,328 Sid, my hands are tied. 904 00:42:30,332 --> 00:42:32,267 It's not good. 905 00:42:38,807 --> 00:42:40,943 Oh my God. 906 00:43:04,066 --> 00:43:06,902 - Congratulations, Sam. - Thanks, Sid. 907 00:43:08,503 --> 00:43:10,939 Sid, wait. 908 00:43:12,709 --> 00:43:14,810 You forgot these. 909 00:43:17,045 --> 00:43:18,747 - Thank you. - Yep. 910 00:43:18,814 --> 00:43:20,816 Welcome to your new office, Sam. 911 00:43:20,882 --> 00:43:23,318 - Holla! - Holla! 912 00:43:23,385 --> 00:43:26,221 - Who started that? - I think you did. 913 00:43:26,288 --> 00:43:28,423 - Yeah, maybe I did. - Yeah, you did. 914 00:43:29,524 --> 00:43:31,661 - Come on in. - You're a genius, man. 915 00:43:31,728 --> 00:43:33,663 Whoo! 916 00:44:55,010 --> 00:44:56,411 Dear Elizabeth. 917 00:44:56,478 --> 00:44:59,181 I'm really sorry if my posts embarrassed you. 918 00:44:59,247 --> 00:45:02,584 Going forward, I promise to send them all privately. 919 00:45:02,651 --> 00:45:06,088 I don't... I don't know how I missed that. 920 00:45:08,623 --> 00:45:13,028 I got fired today, after 14 years. 921 00:45:13,095 --> 00:45:15,197 But don't worry, the job market is strong, 922 00:45:15,263 --> 00:45:16,699 and I'm sure my old boss 923 00:45:16,766 --> 00:45:19,267 will write a great letter of recommendation. 924 00:45:19,334 --> 00:45:21,704 Plus, now I'll have... you know, I'll have time to focus 925 00:45:21,771 --> 00:45:23,905 on the venue for the reunion. 926 00:45:23,972 --> 00:45:26,041 Eat Wheaties! Sid. 927 00:45:39,221 --> 00:45:42,591 You have one new message. 928 00:45:44,226 --> 00:45:46,061 Sid, this is Sarah, 929 00:45:46,128 --> 00:45:48,798 co-chair of the Penn Reunion Committee. 930 00:45:48,865 --> 00:45:51,066 The dean called me personally to request 931 00:45:51,133 --> 00:45:52,634 that you be removed from your position 932 00:45:52,702 --> 00:45:55,637 as co-chair effective immediately. 933 00:45:55,705 --> 00:45:59,541 Please don't call me back. Or text. Or email. 934 00:46:19,394 --> 00:46:21,263 - Hey, Sid. - Hey. 935 00:46:21,329 --> 00:46:23,198 You flying solo tonight? 936 00:46:23,265 --> 00:46:26,535 Oh, just me, myself and pie. 937 00:46:26,601 --> 00:46:29,337 Aww, we took apple pie off the menu a while ago. 938 00:46:29,404 --> 00:46:30,773 Oh. Do you have any other pie? 939 00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:33,308 Hmm, key lime. 940 00:46:33,375 --> 00:46:36,211 Hmm, but that's not until the summer. 941 00:46:36,278 --> 00:46:38,346 It's just me and myself then. 942 00:46:38,413 --> 00:46:41,450 Hmm. What happened to Kate? 943 00:46:41,516 --> 00:46:42,984 Kate. 944 00:46:43,051 --> 00:46:44,986 Kate went back to her ex-boyfriend. 945 00:46:45,053 --> 00:46:46,254 Dang. That's sucks. 946 00:46:46,321 --> 00:46:47,790 - Yeah. - She seemed nice. 947 00:46:47,857 --> 00:46:49,558 Oh yeah, she was very nice. 948 00:46:49,624 --> 00:46:53,495 Well, the good news is she's open to revisiting her exes. 949 00:46:53,562 --> 00:46:56,498 And she's not gonna take out a restraining order on me. 950 00:46:56,565 --> 00:46:58,166 So that's a plus. 951 00:46:58,233 --> 00:47:01,536 I like your optimism, Sid. 952 00:47:01,603 --> 00:47:04,439 - I'll be right back. - Okay. All right. 953 00:47:19,621 --> 00:47:23,458 These, my friend, are on me. 954 00:47:23,525 --> 00:47:25,227 Oh, wow. 955 00:47:25,293 --> 00:47:26,963 Are they virgins? That's nice? 956 00:47:27,028 --> 00:47:30,131 - Filthy whores. - Oh. 957 00:47:30,198 --> 00:47:32,033 If you need anything, let me know. 958 00:47:32,100 --> 00:47:33,669 Ohh. 959 00:47:33,736 --> 00:47:37,005 They are filthy. 960 00:47:37,072 --> 00:47:39,241 Ooh, momma. 961 00:47:43,111 --> 00:47:45,915 Your resume is excellent, Mr. Straw. 962 00:47:45,982 --> 00:47:49,551 And you seem like a really nice guy. 963 00:47:49,618 --> 00:47:51,988 I don't know what Bruce Rapp was thinking letting you go. 964 00:47:52,053 --> 00:47:55,290 But we'd be lucky to have you. 965 00:47:55,357 --> 00:47:57,158 - Thank you, Ms. Portino. - Yeah. 966 00:47:57,225 --> 00:47:59,160 Expect to hear from me soon. So... 967 00:47:59,227 --> 00:48:01,998 - Wonderful. Thank you. - Thank you. 968 00:48:04,499 --> 00:48:06,601 Hey, Ms. Portino. How are you? 969 00:48:06,669 --> 00:48:08,336 This is Sid Straw. 970 00:48:08,403 --> 00:48:12,274 Yes, I just wanted to thank you for the generous offer 971 00:48:12,340 --> 00:48:15,477 for the VP position of sales and marketing. 972 00:48:15,544 --> 00:48:20,081 I humbly accept, and I will see you on Monday. 973 00:48:20,148 --> 00:48:21,784 Okay. 974 00:48:21,851 --> 00:48:24,219 Okay. Thank you so much. 975 00:48:24,286 --> 00:48:26,221 Uh-huh. Bye-bye. 976 00:48:26,288 --> 00:48:28,858 Ha! 977 00:48:32,294 --> 00:48:34,262 Hi, Ms. Portino. This is Sid Straw. 978 00:48:34,329 --> 00:48:36,298 I'm sorry I missed you. 979 00:48:36,364 --> 00:48:38,567 I don't know what the background check showed, 980 00:48:38,633 --> 00:48:40,703 but I was curious if there was anything I could do 981 00:48:40,770 --> 00:48:44,105 to change your mind about withdrawing the offer. 982 00:48:44,172 --> 00:48:47,509 Thank you so much for meeting with me about the VP position. 983 00:48:47,576 --> 00:48:49,311 Thank you so much for meeting me 984 00:48:49,377 --> 00:48:52,113 about the director of marketing. 985 00:48:56,786 --> 00:48:58,587 Whoo! Oh yeah. 986 00:48:58,654 --> 00:49:00,322 I can totally move. Yeah. 987 00:49:00,388 --> 00:49:04,060 I've been dying to go to Ohio. What's after manager? 988 00:49:04,125 --> 00:49:05,962 Do you have an assistant manager? 989 00:49:06,028 --> 00:49:07,863 No? 990 00:49:11,834 --> 00:49:13,501 Dear Elizabeth. 991 00:49:13,568 --> 00:49:18,741 I moved back home with my parents. 992 00:49:18,808 --> 00:49:21,576 It's temporary, like the restraining order, 993 00:49:21,643 --> 00:49:24,981 which I'm hoping will be resolved before the reunion. 994 00:49:25,047 --> 00:49:28,084 Eat Wheaties! Sid. 995 00:49:34,957 --> 00:49:38,060 Here you go. 996 00:49:38,126 --> 00:49:39,494 Turkey bacon okay? 997 00:49:39,561 --> 00:49:41,831 Massive mug. Yeah, it's fine. 998 00:49:50,873 --> 00:49:52,173 Dear Elizabeth. 999 00:49:52,240 --> 00:49:56,112 Money is tight, and it's Janet's birthday coming up. 1000 00:49:56,177 --> 00:49:58,848 I might have to borrow money to buy her a gift. 1001 00:49:58,914 --> 00:50:01,784 And my mom tried to tuck me in light. 1002 00:50:01,851 --> 00:50:03,184 Egad. 1003 00:50:03,251 --> 00:50:05,520 Eat Wheaties! Sid. 1004 00:50:09,025 --> 00:50:10,358 Dear Elizabeth. 1005 00:50:10,425 --> 00:50:11,761 I hope you didn't take that last post 1006 00:50:11,827 --> 00:50:14,997 to mean I was asking you to borrow money. 1007 00:50:15,064 --> 00:50:17,867 Eat Wheaties! Sid. 1008 00:50:19,135 --> 00:50:20,435 - Hi. How can I help you? - Hello. 1009 00:50:20,502 --> 00:50:23,204 I'd like to cash this check, please. 1010 00:50:25,507 --> 00:50:28,077 The ID and the check don't match. 1011 00:50:28,144 --> 00:50:30,046 Yeah, I know. 1012 00:50:30,112 --> 00:50:31,513 They must have made a clerical error 1013 00:50:31,579 --> 00:50:33,214 at the unemployment office. 1014 00:50:33,281 --> 00:50:34,449 Uh-huh. 1015 00:50:34,516 --> 00:50:37,485 This check is made out to Sad Striw. 1016 00:50:37,552 --> 00:50:39,922 - You're Sid Straw. - Straw. Yeah, I know, I know. 1017 00:50:39,989 --> 00:50:42,457 I guess they just switched the A and I. 1018 00:50:42,524 --> 00:50:45,728 And they just made Sid Sad. 1019 00:50:48,329 --> 00:50:50,398 I'm gonna have to talk to my supervisor. 1020 00:50:50,465 --> 00:50:51,566 - Of course. - Okay. 1021 00:50:51,633 --> 00:50:53,836 Of course. 1022 00:50:57,873 --> 00:51:03,244 There's some weird guy named Sad or Sid or... 1023 00:51:03,311 --> 00:51:06,448 Who would name their kid Sad? 1024 00:51:10,886 --> 00:51:14,589 Hello. 1025 00:51:14,657 --> 00:51:16,357 Thank you. 1026 00:51:16,424 --> 00:51:18,293 Defrauding the state's unemployment regulations 1027 00:51:18,359 --> 00:51:20,395 is a crime, sir. 1028 00:51:20,462 --> 00:51:22,263 I-I-I didn't defraud anyone. 1029 00:51:22,330 --> 00:51:25,366 I-I-I'm unemployed. 1030 00:51:25,433 --> 00:51:27,302 I've been coming to this bank for years. 1031 00:51:27,368 --> 00:51:29,604 I mean, if you look, there's... 1032 00:51:29,672 --> 00:51:32,307 I was just gonna show you where the addresses are the same. 1033 00:51:32,373 --> 00:51:34,309 I'm going to have to ask you to leave. 1034 00:51:39,647 --> 00:51:41,951 No. 1035 00:51:42,017 --> 00:51:44,987 - I just... please. - Don't. 1036 00:51:45,054 --> 00:51:46,922 - I can't... - Stop. 1037 00:51:51,593 --> 00:51:54,163 - I was only gonna... - Stop. 1038 00:52:02,437 --> 00:52:05,207 - Thank you, Mom. - Yeah. 1039 00:52:05,306 --> 00:52:07,977 - Order up. - Ooh, Mom. 1040 00:52:08,043 --> 00:52:10,713 All right. So this is shepherd's pie. 1041 00:52:10,780 --> 00:52:13,149 - Mmm. - But instead of lamb, 1042 00:52:13,215 --> 00:52:15,483 I used ground buffalo meat. 1043 00:52:15,550 --> 00:52:18,586 It's leaner, and it's high in omega-3s. 1044 00:52:18,654 --> 00:52:22,124 And instead of mashed potatoes, that's cauliflower. 1045 00:52:22,191 --> 00:52:25,426 - Oh, wow. - Looks delicious. 1046 00:52:25,493 --> 00:52:27,997 - Oh. - Mmm. 1047 00:52:28,063 --> 00:52:30,099 - Mmm. - Oh. 1048 00:52:30,166 --> 00:52:33,803 Oh. 1049 00:52:37,072 --> 00:52:39,474 You know what, as much as I would love to eat it, 1050 00:52:39,541 --> 00:52:42,077 I'm actually staying away from wild game. 1051 00:52:42,144 --> 00:52:43,712 - Yeah. - So. 1052 00:52:43,779 --> 00:52:46,015 - Dr. Solinski's orders. - Well. 1053 00:52:46,081 --> 00:52:48,751 More leftovers for you, Sid. 1054 00:52:48,818 --> 00:52:52,655 One of the perks of living at home. 1055 00:52:52,721 --> 00:52:55,891 Hey, Janet, I have a surprise for you. 1056 00:52:55,958 --> 00:52:58,260 - Happy birthday. - Oh my goodness. 1057 00:52:58,326 --> 00:53:00,963 - Happy birthday. - Sid. 1058 00:53:01,030 --> 00:53:03,299 Wow. Sid. 1059 00:53:03,364 --> 00:53:06,601 Let's see. Oh. 1060 00:53:06,669 --> 00:53:09,537 I bedazzled it myself. 1061 00:53:09,604 --> 00:53:12,007 Yes, you did. 1062 00:53:12,074 --> 00:53:15,277 That is... that is something. 1063 00:53:15,343 --> 00:53:18,646 Took me a long time. 1064 00:53:18,714 --> 00:53:20,149 I found it on Pinterest. 1065 00:53:20,216 --> 00:53:23,651 A lot of people are doing it, and it's kind of a trend. 1066 00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:26,621 People do sweatshirts and, you know, hats, 1067 00:53:26,689 --> 00:53:29,725 and belts seemed to be, you know, 1068 00:53:29,792 --> 00:53:31,126 the one that was the most popular. 1069 00:53:31,193 --> 00:53:33,963 - It's very thoughtful, Sid. - That's really kind. 1070 00:53:34,029 --> 00:53:36,165 - It's... - Thank you. 1071 00:53:37,666 --> 00:53:39,467 So I heard you swung by 1072 00:53:39,534 --> 00:53:41,003 Brandon's office the other day? 1073 00:53:41,070 --> 00:53:42,771 Yeah, I did. 1074 00:53:42,838 --> 00:53:46,441 He has a really nice office. 1075 00:53:46,507 --> 00:53:48,143 Oh, I know, Janet, I wanted to ask you, 1076 00:53:48,210 --> 00:53:50,212 have you heard back from your friend Zoey, 1077 00:53:50,279 --> 00:53:52,413 about Elizabeth Banks' agent? 1078 00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:55,251 Yeah. 1079 00:53:55,317 --> 00:53:58,287 She heard that they took out 1080 00:53:58,354 --> 00:53:59,889 a restraining order against you. 1081 00:53:59,955 --> 00:54:02,291 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 1082 00:54:02,358 --> 00:54:05,160 Yeah. 1083 00:54:05,227 --> 00:54:08,396 But did she find out if Elizabeth remembered me? 1084 00:54:20,876 --> 00:54:22,610 You okay? 1085 00:54:22,678 --> 00:54:24,747 Yeah. Thank you. 1086 00:54:34,023 --> 00:54:38,360 Look, Sid, I know these last few months, 1087 00:54:38,426 --> 00:54:41,330 things haven't been going your way. 1088 00:54:41,397 --> 00:54:42,630 Hm. 1089 00:54:42,698 --> 00:54:45,500 It's all right. 1090 00:54:45,566 --> 00:54:48,804 But I really think 1091 00:54:48,871 --> 00:54:52,107 you gotta... you gotta stop. 1092 00:54:54,977 --> 00:54:57,279 Stop what? 1093 00:54:57,346 --> 00:55:01,116 Stop trying so hard. 1094 00:55:01,183 --> 00:55:03,518 Like, with everything. 1095 00:55:03,584 --> 00:55:06,554 Look, it's like Mom, right, and her cooking. 1096 00:55:06,621 --> 00:55:08,623 Sometimes, it's just better to be simple. 1097 00:55:08,691 --> 00:55:10,960 Like, normal. Like, "Hey, Mom, 1098 00:55:11,026 --> 00:55:15,331 Can I just have a regular shepherd's pie?" 1099 00:55:15,397 --> 00:55:18,100 I just think you try too hard, 1100 00:55:18,167 --> 00:55:22,037 and it's like the Darryl thing at the wedding. 1101 00:55:22,104 --> 00:55:24,306 Oh, come on. 1102 00:55:24,373 --> 00:55:26,541 - That was so funny. - Yeah. 1103 00:55:26,607 --> 00:55:29,211 But you get what I'm saying, right? 1104 00:55:31,479 --> 00:55:34,416 All right. I'll try to stop trying. 1105 00:55:34,482 --> 00:55:36,785 This isn't an inside joke, Sid. 1106 00:55:36,852 --> 00:55:39,554 You are unemployed. 1107 00:55:39,620 --> 00:55:42,191 You are living at home with your parents. 1108 00:55:42,257 --> 00:55:44,126 And instead of picking yourself up, 1109 00:55:44,193 --> 00:55:47,562 getting back on your feet, you're making belts. 1110 00:55:47,628 --> 00:55:53,102 And you're wondering whether Elizabeth Banks remembers you? 1111 00:55:53,168 --> 00:55:55,270 I didn't make the belt. I bedazzled it. 1112 00:55:55,337 --> 00:55:57,840 Oh my God. Sid, look at me. 1113 00:55:59,742 --> 00:56:02,277 Elizabeth Banks doesn't remember you. 1114 00:56:09,318 --> 00:56:12,788 Tom, want to get going? 1115 00:56:12,855 --> 00:56:15,224 - See you, Sid. - Yeah, see you. 1116 00:56:22,597 --> 00:56:25,801 Keep your eye on the ball. 1117 00:56:25,868 --> 00:56:27,469 You were are doing a lot of chopping, 1118 00:56:27,535 --> 00:56:29,604 but no chips are flying. 1119 00:56:31,106 --> 00:56:33,842 Hey, I really appreciate you inviting me out. 1120 00:56:33,909 --> 00:56:35,744 I had to get out of that house. 1121 00:56:35,811 --> 00:56:38,080 Yeah, it's gotta be so depressing. 1122 00:56:38,147 --> 00:56:39,314 Oh. 1123 00:56:39,381 --> 00:56:42,617 Living under the roof with your parents again. 1124 00:56:42,684 --> 00:56:45,620 Oh, that's okay, Fred. That's okay. 1125 00:56:45,687 --> 00:56:48,690 What's this? What's this? Elbows down. 1126 00:56:48,757 --> 00:56:50,893 You're like a chicken. All right? 1127 00:56:50,959 --> 00:56:52,227 Go! 1128 00:56:52,294 --> 00:56:55,431 Bah-gawk. 1129 00:56:55,497 --> 00:56:56,732 Here we go. 1130 00:56:56,799 --> 00:56:58,300 This is how fast it's gonna come on the day. 1131 00:56:58,367 --> 00:57:02,704 Come on! 1132 00:57:02,771 --> 00:57:04,239 Don't look... just pick them up. 1133 00:57:04,306 --> 00:57:05,707 Pick them up. You're done, you're done. 1134 00:57:05,774 --> 00:57:08,043 Put down the bat. You're done. 1135 00:57:08,110 --> 00:57:09,978 I wasn't even gonna go to the reunion, 1136 00:57:10,045 --> 00:57:11,246 but now that you're banned, 1137 00:57:11,313 --> 00:57:12,915 I feel like somebody should go there 1138 00:57:12,981 --> 00:57:15,117 just to tell your side of the story. 1139 00:57:15,184 --> 00:57:17,820 I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that for you. 1140 00:57:17,886 --> 00:57:19,955 Oh, that's nice. 1141 00:57:20,022 --> 00:57:22,391 Oh my God, we should reunite the Hoefish. 1142 00:57:22,458 --> 00:57:25,127 - Oh. - Oh, my God. 1143 00:57:25,194 --> 00:57:27,930 - That would be so great. - We'll do it in honor of you. 1144 00:57:27,996 --> 00:57:29,498 - Aww. - And people will be like, 1145 00:57:29,565 --> 00:57:31,133 "Oh, I wish he was here." 1146 00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:32,901 I can't believe I'm missing it. 1147 00:57:32,968 --> 00:57:34,837 - Yeah. - I can't believe it. 1148 00:57:34,903 --> 00:57:36,905 You'll be there in spirit. 1149 00:57:36,972 --> 00:57:39,675 - Can I hit again? - No, it's... it's my turn. 1150 00:57:39,741 --> 00:57:41,677 It's my turn. 1151 00:57:41,743 --> 00:57:43,312 Oh my God, there's no tears in baseball. 1152 00:57:43,378 --> 00:57:45,314 Watch this. 1153 00:57:54,089 --> 00:57:55,657 Okay, hold on. I just... I wasn't ready. 1154 00:57:55,724 --> 00:57:58,527 Now I'm ready. 1155 00:57:58,594 --> 00:58:01,296 Almost, man. 1156 00:58:01,363 --> 00:58:03,565 Ah! 1157 00:58:03,631 --> 00:58:05,734 It's, uh... 1158 00:58:05,801 --> 00:58:08,570 it's my carpal tunnel. 1159 00:58:08,636 --> 00:58:10,506 I have an old judo injury. 1160 00:58:10,572 --> 00:58:12,708 Do you think I could try? 1161 00:58:12,774 --> 00:58:15,344 Yeah, sure, go ahead. Give it a shot. 1162 00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:39,935 Dear Elizabeth. 1163 00:58:40,002 --> 00:58:43,405 I think this will be my last message for a while. 1164 00:58:43,472 --> 00:58:45,541 I finished writing "Fred Smells," 1165 00:58:45,607 --> 00:58:49,745 but after rereading it, I realize it stinks. 1166 00:58:49,811 --> 00:58:52,514 Dreams can't come true for everyone. 1167 00:58:52,581 --> 00:58:54,983 Otherwise, everyone would be an actor 1168 00:58:55,050 --> 00:58:57,419 or an astronaut or Dr. Seuss. 1169 00:58:59,054 --> 00:59:01,423 I want to thank you for being there for me 1170 00:59:01,490 --> 00:59:03,525 the last few months, even if you weren't. 1171 00:59:05,260 --> 00:59:08,063 Writing to you has made me feel better about myself. 1172 00:59:08,130 --> 00:59:12,067 Thinking that there's a world where you remember me 1173 00:59:12,134 --> 00:59:14,903 and cared about what was happening in my life. 1174 00:59:14,970 --> 00:59:16,638 But now I realize 1175 00:59:16,705 --> 00:59:19,875 I need to try harder to put my life back together. 1176 00:59:22,578 --> 00:59:24,479 Or less hard. 1177 00:59:24,546 --> 00:59:27,115 Or both, I guess. 1178 00:59:27,182 --> 00:59:29,184 I'm gonna fight the restraining order 1179 00:59:29,251 --> 00:59:31,253 and make it to the reunion. 1180 00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:33,021 I really hope you can make it, 1181 00:59:33,088 --> 00:59:35,490 and please don't miss it on my behalf. 1182 00:59:35,557 --> 00:59:37,526 Eat Wheaties! 1183 00:59:37,593 --> 00:59:39,728 Sid. 1184 00:59:46,134 --> 00:59:47,704 I'm telling you, I'm 100% sure 1185 00:59:47,769 --> 00:59:49,137 that in the state of California... 1186 00:59:49,204 --> 00:59:50,839 You're saying that it doesn't matter 1187 00:59:50,906 --> 00:59:52,274 that I went to a non-accredited law school. 1188 00:59:52,341 --> 00:59:53,875 No, I spent hours researching it, 1189 00:59:53,942 --> 00:59:55,244 and I called three times to confirm. 1190 00:59:55,310 --> 00:59:58,080 Okay, so if I did pass the bar exam, 1191 00:59:58,146 --> 01:00:00,582 then would you hire me for the restraining order? 1192 01:00:00,649 --> 01:00:02,751 Yeah. Definitely. 1193 01:00:02,818 --> 01:00:04,319 Wait, and does this mean 1194 01:00:04,386 --> 01:00:06,555 that we would all get to go to California? 1195 01:00:06,622 --> 01:00:08,156 - Sure. - Okay. 1196 01:00:08,223 --> 01:00:09,858 Let's not get ahead of ourselves. 1197 01:00:09,925 --> 01:00:11,860 I do know that the bar exam in California 1198 01:00:11,927 --> 01:00:13,629 is known to be pretty difficult. 1199 01:00:13,696 --> 01:00:16,064 Okay, but sweetheart, I mean, we'll help you. 1200 01:00:16,131 --> 01:00:18,166 I will take the kids full-time. 1201 01:00:18,233 --> 01:00:20,168 - I can help. - With the kids? 1202 01:00:20,235 --> 01:00:23,005 - Yeah. - Wow. Okay. 1203 01:00:23,071 --> 01:00:25,807 Do you have any babysitting experience or anything? 1204 01:00:25,874 --> 01:00:27,943 No, but I can try. 1205 01:00:28,010 --> 01:00:29,978 You can start with the older one. 1206 01:00:30,045 --> 01:00:33,048 He's so much easier. He's very calm and... 1207 01:00:33,115 --> 01:00:35,685 Gary is the easier one. 1208 01:00:35,752 --> 01:00:37,986 Dale is the older one. 1209 01:00:38,053 --> 01:00:39,354 Oh, Dale... no. 1210 01:00:39,421 --> 01:00:41,823 Yeah, Dale was born 12 seconds earlier. 1211 01:00:41,890 --> 01:00:42,958 12 minutes. 1212 01:00:43,025 --> 01:00:45,093 12 minutes earlier. 1213 01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:47,129 He's a lot smarter than he looks, really. 1214 01:00:47,195 --> 01:00:48,397 Okay. 1215 01:00:48,463 --> 01:00:52,067 At some point that stops being a compliment. 1216 01:00:52,134 --> 01:00:55,370 - Okay. - So are we a go with this? 1217 01:00:58,040 --> 01:01:00,609 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yes! 1218 01:01:00,677 --> 01:01:02,377 Honey. 1219 01:01:02,444 --> 01:01:04,513 - Okay, we're doing it. - We're doing it. 1220 01:01:04,579 --> 01:01:05,647 - Love you. - Yes. 1221 01:01:11,754 --> 01:01:12,921 Hello. 1222 01:01:12,988 --> 01:01:15,457 You know me? 1223 01:01:15,524 --> 01:01:17,760 - This is... this is fantastic. - All right. 1224 01:01:17,826 --> 01:01:20,228 And I think you'd be a great addition to the Spartina team. 1225 01:01:20,295 --> 01:01:21,731 - Oh, fantastic. - I do. 1226 01:01:21,798 --> 01:01:24,299 Yeah. Thank you so much. 1227 01:01:30,639 --> 01:01:35,344 All right, let's do this. 1228 01:01:38,947 --> 01:01:40,482 So I love an acronym, 1229 01:01:40,549 --> 01:01:43,652 and I always... and this one always. 1230 01:01:45,655 --> 01:01:48,457 - Five. - Oh! 1231 01:01:48,523 --> 01:01:49,925 - Good job. - Okay. 1232 01:01:52,994 --> 01:01:56,365 Oh. 1233 01:01:56,431 --> 01:01:57,933 Yeah! 1234 01:01:57,999 --> 01:02:01,503 Yeah! 1235 01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:05,974 Here we go. 1236 01:02:14,182 --> 01:02:16,819 - Oh, thank God. - Yeah! 1237 01:02:16,885 --> 01:02:18,688 - You did it! - Whoo! 1238 01:02:18,755 --> 01:02:20,455 You said I could do it. 1239 01:02:20,522 --> 01:02:22,391 - You said I could do it. - Ah! 1240 01:02:34,837 --> 01:02:40,275 Okay, the next case on the docket is number 954532, 1241 01:02:40,342 --> 01:02:44,579 a restraining order issued by Frankie Riceborough 1242 01:02:44,646 --> 01:02:46,615 and Elizabeth Banks. 1243 01:02:46,682 --> 01:02:47,949 Is she here? 1244 01:02:48,016 --> 01:02:49,451 No, your honor. 1245 01:02:49,518 --> 01:02:51,153 Oh. 1246 01:02:51,219 --> 01:02:54,891 The defendant Sid Straw. 1247 01:02:54,956 --> 01:02:58,360 Oh. Yes. There he is, your honor. 1248 01:02:58,427 --> 01:03:01,963 - And who are you? - My name is James Fisk. 1249 01:03:02,030 --> 01:03:06,601 I'm a lawyer, and this is my first case. 1250 01:03:06,669 --> 01:03:08,437 Hmm. 1251 01:03:08,503 --> 01:03:09,971 Whoo! 1252 01:03:10,038 --> 01:03:12,107 That's my wife. 1253 01:03:12,174 --> 01:03:14,209 And what are we doing here? 1254 01:03:14,276 --> 01:03:16,111 My client, Ms. Riceborough, 1255 01:03:16,178 --> 01:03:18,113 and her client, Ms. Banks, 1256 01:03:18,180 --> 01:03:21,183 have been repeatedly harassed by the defendant, 1257 01:03:21,249 --> 01:03:23,051 and we'd like the temporary restraining order 1258 01:03:23,118 --> 01:03:24,586 made permanent. 1259 01:03:24,653 --> 01:03:29,624 It says here that the defendant lives in Scottsdale. 1260 01:03:29,692 --> 01:03:31,694 Mr. Straw, why on earth 1261 01:03:31,761 --> 01:03:34,463 are you harassing Ms. Riceborough and Ms. Banks? 1262 01:03:34,529 --> 01:03:36,364 And how exactly do you know her? 1263 01:03:36,431 --> 01:03:40,268 We went to college together. 1264 01:03:40,335 --> 01:03:42,738 And I dated her sorority sister, Tracey Swid. 1265 01:03:42,805 --> 01:03:43,906 So you don't really know her. 1266 01:03:43,972 --> 01:03:46,475 No, I do. 1267 01:03:46,541 --> 01:03:47,743 I did. 1268 01:03:47,810 --> 01:03:51,179 Ms. Riceborough, how exactly has Mr. Straw 1269 01:03:51,246 --> 01:03:55,517 been harassing you and Ms. Banks from Scottsdale? 1270 01:03:55,584 --> 01:03:58,053 Well, thank you for asking, Your Honor. 1271 01:03:58,119 --> 01:04:00,522 Mr. Straw has been incessantly harassing 1272 01:04:00,589 --> 01:04:02,390 both me and my client with letters, 1273 01:04:02,457 --> 01:04:04,292 phone calls, and social media posts, 1274 01:04:04,359 --> 01:04:06,361 with the sole intention of intimidating us 1275 01:04:06,428 --> 01:04:09,231 into a relationship in order to prove how important he is 1276 01:04:09,297 --> 01:04:10,999 that he knows a celebrity. 1277 01:04:11,066 --> 01:04:13,401 Now, I know we live in a world 1278 01:04:13,468 --> 01:04:16,204 where everyone has this illusion of access, 1279 01:04:16,271 --> 01:04:18,540 that anyone can just tweet out or friend 1280 01:04:18,607 --> 01:04:21,811 their favorite celebrity, but my job... 1281 01:04:21,878 --> 01:04:23,645 excuse me, my duty 1282 01:04:23,713 --> 01:04:27,082 is to protect my client from whack jobs like him. 1283 01:04:27,148 --> 01:04:28,951 People who feel like they're owed the right 1284 01:04:29,017 --> 01:04:32,287 to just call us up and interrupt our busy assistants 1285 01:04:32,354 --> 01:04:34,456 to demand an autographed picture, 1286 01:04:34,523 --> 01:04:37,292 and then complain when they are smudged. 1287 01:04:37,359 --> 01:04:39,427 Can-can I say something now? 1288 01:04:39,494 --> 01:04:40,930 Can I speak sometime soon? 1289 01:04:40,997 --> 01:04:45,033 Mr. Straw, is Ms. Riceborough telling the truth? 1290 01:04:45,100 --> 01:04:47,335 Yes. 1291 01:04:47,402 --> 01:04:50,372 I mean, she could have said it in a nicer way, but yes. 1292 01:04:50,438 --> 01:04:53,009 I did ask for an autographed picture 1293 01:04:53,074 --> 01:04:54,609 for my brother's birthday, 1294 01:04:54,677 --> 01:04:57,646 and I did contact her assistant, Keaton, 1295 01:04:57,713 --> 01:05:02,551 when I saw that the picture I was sent had a smudge. 1296 01:05:02,617 --> 01:05:04,119 And... 1297 01:05:04,185 --> 01:05:05,688 Why are you standing? 1298 01:05:05,755 --> 01:05:07,355 I'm-I'm Keaton. 1299 01:05:07,422 --> 01:05:10,826 And yeah, he's right. The photo was smudged. 1300 01:05:12,227 --> 01:05:14,262 Continue, Mr. Straw. 1301 01:05:14,329 --> 01:05:18,533 And I did post on her Facebook page some things... 1302 01:05:18,600 --> 01:05:20,602 a lot of things. 1303 01:05:20,670 --> 01:05:24,239 But I did not mean to harass her, Your Honor. 1304 01:05:24,306 --> 01:05:27,009 Mr. Straw, you may live far away, 1305 01:05:27,108 --> 01:05:28,443 but in this day and age, 1306 01:05:28,510 --> 01:05:31,513 we treat cyberbullying as a serious crime. 1307 01:05:31,580 --> 01:05:34,416 And with your college reunion coming up, 1308 01:05:34,482 --> 01:05:36,318 there is a possibility you will be 1309 01:05:36,384 --> 01:05:39,421 in physical proximity to her. 1310 01:05:39,487 --> 01:05:42,390 You have been fired from your job, 1311 01:05:42,457 --> 01:05:45,327 removed from a volunteer position, 1312 01:05:45,393 --> 01:05:48,864 and publicly mocked for your celebrity obsession. 1313 01:05:48,931 --> 01:05:53,501 And he also just moved in with his parents. 1314 01:05:56,304 --> 01:05:57,940 I don't know if that was necessary. 1315 01:05:58,007 --> 01:06:00,141 No, I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. 1316 01:06:00,208 --> 01:06:03,211 Isn't it time to go back home, 1317 01:06:03,278 --> 01:06:04,880 get your life back together, 1318 01:06:04,947 --> 01:06:08,550 and just forget all this Elizabeth Banks nonsense? 1319 01:06:08,617 --> 01:06:12,253 This is not about Elizabeth Banks, Your Honor. 1320 01:06:12,320 --> 01:06:15,557 This is about me, Sid Straw, 1321 01:06:15,624 --> 01:06:18,661 being able to go back to my reunion confident 1322 01:06:18,728 --> 01:06:21,630 about who I am and what I've become. 1323 01:06:21,697 --> 01:06:25,768 I understand that I'm not the most exciting person out there, 1324 01:06:25,835 --> 01:06:29,304 and I've had some rough patches, yes. 1325 01:06:29,371 --> 01:06:31,339 But I got new friends. 1326 01:06:31,406 --> 01:06:34,944 I got a new job. I'm playing softball again. 1327 01:06:35,011 --> 01:06:38,848 And I want to go to my reunion. 1328 01:06:38,914 --> 01:06:40,116 And I can't do that 1329 01:06:40,181 --> 01:06:42,217 with a restraining order hanging over me. 1330 01:06:42,283 --> 01:06:46,187 Can you tell me one thing about you and Elizabeth Banks 1331 01:06:46,254 --> 01:06:48,758 from college that would help me believe 1332 01:06:48,824 --> 01:06:50,860 that this supposed friendship of yours 1333 01:06:50,926 --> 01:06:53,696 doesn't just exist in your imagination? 1334 01:06:53,763 --> 01:06:57,265 One story that can be corroborated here today, 1335 01:06:57,332 --> 01:06:59,135 in this courtroom? 1336 01:07:06,709 --> 01:07:08,543 I have no choice 1337 01:07:08,610 --> 01:07:10,980 but to extend the restraining order by five years. 1338 01:07:11,047 --> 01:07:12,982 Wait. 1339 01:07:13,049 --> 01:07:17,086 I have a story. 1340 01:07:17,153 --> 01:07:19,855 It was my freshman year, and, uh... 1341 01:07:19,922 --> 01:07:24,192 I was having a hard time making friends. 1342 01:07:24,259 --> 01:07:25,895 I think it had something to do with the fact 1343 01:07:25,961 --> 01:07:30,032 that I had a role in banning hot plates from the dorms. 1344 01:07:30,099 --> 01:07:32,467 In my defense, I had just seen the movie "Backdraft," 1345 01:07:32,534 --> 01:07:35,805 and I had a lot of sensitivity to fire hazards. 1346 01:07:35,871 --> 01:07:38,908 So to meet people, I joined this coed volleyball team, 1347 01:07:38,974 --> 01:07:41,443 and that's where I met Ms. Banks and Ms. Swid, 1348 01:07:41,509 --> 01:07:45,613 who later became my... girl that I briefly dated. 1349 01:07:47,482 --> 01:07:50,119 Our team was not very good. We weren't very good. 1350 01:07:50,186 --> 01:07:52,755 We lost the first two matches, and then our third match, 1351 01:07:52,822 --> 01:07:55,124 we were playing against all these jocks. 1352 01:07:55,191 --> 01:07:56,659 And it got ugly. 1353 01:07:56,726 --> 01:07:59,594 Not just the spiking, but they were mean. 1354 01:07:59,662 --> 01:08:01,529 And we were just begging... 1355 01:08:01,596 --> 01:08:03,065 begging for the game to end, 1356 01:08:03,132 --> 01:08:08,037 when Elizabeth Banks stepped up and called a time-out. 1357 01:08:08,104 --> 01:08:09,905 I don't even know if there's time-out in volleyball. 1358 01:08:09,972 --> 01:08:13,374 We huddled together and did it anyway. 1359 01:08:13,441 --> 01:08:16,578 And she looked at us, and she said, 1360 01:08:16,644 --> 01:08:19,481 "Did any of you eat your Wheaties this morning? 1361 01:08:19,547 --> 01:08:21,449 'Cause if you did, 1362 01:08:21,516 --> 01:08:23,986 now is the time they're gonna kick in." 1363 01:08:24,053 --> 01:08:26,588 And I'm telling you, in the next ten minutes, 1364 01:08:26,655 --> 01:08:30,659 it was nothing short of a miracle. 1365 01:08:30,726 --> 01:08:34,096 It was... it was like we were pros. 1366 01:08:34,163 --> 01:08:36,297 We were spiking, we series setting, 1367 01:08:36,364 --> 01:08:39,135 we were diving for balls, and saving points. 1368 01:08:39,201 --> 01:08:42,037 We were seconds away, many times, of losing the game, 1369 01:08:42,104 --> 01:08:45,507 and we'd get the game back, and then in the end, 1370 01:08:45,573 --> 01:08:49,111 our team was one point away from winning the game. 1371 01:08:49,178 --> 01:08:51,479 And it was my serve. My serve. 1372 01:08:51,546 --> 01:08:54,049 This was my moment to shine. 1373 01:08:54,116 --> 01:08:56,484 And I tossed the ball up, I threw my hand back, 1374 01:08:56,551 --> 01:08:59,088 and I just launched it. 1375 01:08:59,155 --> 01:09:00,923 Was it an ace? 1376 01:09:00,990 --> 01:09:02,658 No, I choked. 1377 01:09:02,725 --> 01:09:04,626 And it went out of bounds. 1378 01:09:04,693 --> 01:09:07,495 And they won the game. 1379 01:09:07,562 --> 01:09:09,297 But here's the deal. 1380 01:09:09,364 --> 01:09:11,667 My team was not angry about it. 1381 01:09:11,734 --> 01:09:13,936 We had shown them what we're made of. 1382 01:09:14,003 --> 01:09:16,504 We had shown ourselves that we can accomplish something 1383 01:09:16,571 --> 01:09:18,439 much bigger than winning. 1384 01:09:18,506 --> 01:09:20,676 And every single time after that, 1385 01:09:20,743 --> 01:09:22,945 every time we saw Elizabeth Banks, 1386 01:09:23,012 --> 01:09:25,480 she would look at us, and instead of saying goodbye, 1387 01:09:25,547 --> 01:09:28,784 she would say, "Eat Wheaties!" 1388 01:09:28,851 --> 01:09:32,888 And it was like we were just transported back 1389 01:09:32,955 --> 01:09:36,324 to that very specific moment in time. 1390 01:09:39,460 --> 01:09:42,330 Counselor, can you corroborate 1391 01:09:42,397 --> 01:09:45,000 any part of Mr. Straw's story? 1392 01:09:45,067 --> 01:09:47,837 Yes, actually I can, Your Honor. 1393 01:09:47,903 --> 01:09:51,273 I would like to present to you and the court 1394 01:09:51,339 --> 01:09:54,043 defense Exhibit A. 1395 01:09:57,345 --> 01:09:59,248 Do I just bring it up to you or... 1396 01:09:59,315 --> 01:10:00,950 Okay. 1397 01:10:01,016 --> 01:10:04,920 Here is Exhibit A, in which you will find a photograph 1398 01:10:04,987 --> 01:10:08,991 clearly depicting my client, Mr. Straw, 1399 01:10:09,058 --> 01:10:13,195 and two people over, you will also see a familiar face. 1400 01:10:13,262 --> 01:10:14,495 That is Ms. Banks. 1401 01:10:14,562 --> 01:10:17,032 Clearly, they're in the same photograph. 1402 01:10:17,099 --> 01:10:20,936 You're gonna have to do better than that. 1403 01:10:21,003 --> 01:10:22,304 Did you see the photo? 1404 01:10:22,370 --> 01:10:24,039 Yes. 1405 01:10:24,106 --> 01:10:28,244 Your Honor, may I make a closing statement? 1406 01:10:28,310 --> 01:10:30,445 Make it quick. 1407 01:10:35,583 --> 01:10:39,989 My client, Sid Straw, is many things. 1408 01:10:41,422 --> 01:10:44,626 Unusual? Maybe. 1409 01:10:44,693 --> 01:10:48,163 Compulsive? Yeah, you could say that. 1410 01:10:48,230 --> 01:10:49,665 Society awkward? Definitely. 1411 01:10:49,732 --> 01:10:53,468 But the one thing my client is not 1412 01:10:53,534 --> 01:10:57,273 is a danger to himself or any other human being. 1413 01:10:57,339 --> 01:11:01,043 I mean, Sid is a good guy. 1414 01:11:01,110 --> 01:11:02,912 And I ask you this much. 1415 01:11:02,978 --> 01:11:06,815 When you are deciding my client's fate here today, 1416 01:11:06,882 --> 01:11:08,884 please take this into account. 1417 01:11:08,951 --> 01:11:14,455 If he did make up and fabricate 1418 01:11:14,522 --> 01:11:16,491 the story about the Wheaties, 1419 01:11:16,557 --> 01:11:20,729 well, why would he cast himself as a loser? 1420 01:11:20,796 --> 01:11:22,463 Right? Who would do that? 1421 01:11:22,530 --> 01:11:24,133 He did it because it's the truth. 1422 01:11:24,199 --> 01:11:26,501 Sid is a loser... 1423 01:11:26,567 --> 01:11:29,204 or was a loser. 1424 01:11:31,407 --> 01:11:33,441 Make him a winner. 1425 01:11:37,780 --> 01:11:39,348 I don't think you're a loser. 1426 01:11:39,415 --> 01:11:40,950 - Oh, no. - Personally. I love you. 1427 01:11:41,016 --> 01:11:43,484 Thanks. I love you too. That was really good. 1428 01:11:43,551 --> 01:11:45,553 I should have wrote some of that out. 1429 01:11:45,620 --> 01:11:46,755 - No. - It was a little... 1430 01:11:46,822 --> 01:11:48,489 No, it was really... it was perfect. 1431 01:11:48,556 --> 01:11:49,959 - It was perfect. - Thanks. 1432 01:11:50,025 --> 01:11:53,796 Ms. Riceborough, do you have any evidence of Mr. Straw 1433 01:11:53,862 --> 01:11:56,432 saying anything intimidating or derogatory 1434 01:11:56,497 --> 01:11:58,834 towards you or Ms. Banks? 1435 01:11:58,901 --> 01:12:00,836 Um... 1436 01:12:05,606 --> 01:12:08,410 No, Your Honor. 1437 01:12:08,476 --> 01:12:10,079 Can you give me one reason 1438 01:12:10,145 --> 01:12:14,249 why he might be a danger to you or Ms. Banks? 1439 01:12:14,316 --> 01:12:18,220 Well, he's very persistent. 1440 01:12:18,287 --> 01:12:21,223 But he's not a danger. 1441 01:12:21,290 --> 01:12:23,491 Well, come to think of it, 1442 01:12:23,558 --> 01:12:26,527 we would not be here wasting the court's time 1443 01:12:26,594 --> 01:12:28,897 were it not for your restraining order, 1444 01:12:28,964 --> 01:12:31,867 which you based on a few phone calls 1445 01:12:31,934 --> 01:12:36,038 asking for one autographed photo, which was smudged, 1446 01:12:36,105 --> 01:12:39,174 and some weird Facebook posts on her page, 1447 01:12:39,241 --> 01:12:42,945 of which I'm sure there are thousands. 1448 01:12:43,012 --> 01:12:45,613 I hereby remove the restraining order, 1449 01:12:45,681 --> 01:12:48,250 under the one condition that you never make 1450 01:12:48,317 --> 01:12:51,519 any unsolicited contact to Ms. Banks again, 1451 01:12:51,586 --> 01:12:53,588 either in person or on social media. 1452 01:12:53,655 --> 01:12:55,457 Is that understood? 1453 01:12:55,523 --> 01:12:58,060 Yes, Your Honor. That's understood. 1454 01:12:58,127 --> 01:12:59,428 Case dismissed. 1455 01:12:59,495 --> 01:13:01,330 Wait. Your Honor... 1456 01:13:01,397 --> 01:13:03,564 Did we just win? 1457 01:13:03,631 --> 01:13:04,900 Sort of. 1458 01:13:14,143 --> 01:13:16,145 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 1459 01:13:16,211 --> 01:13:18,180 Can I get some? Can you get some more? 1460 01:13:18,247 --> 01:13:20,648 Can I also have some? Can we both have some? 1461 01:13:20,716 --> 01:13:22,451 Oh, I feel good. 1462 01:13:22,518 --> 01:13:24,720 Yes. 1463 01:13:24,787 --> 01:13:26,755 Oh, that felt good. 1464 01:13:26,822 --> 01:13:28,490 Yeah, it still feels good. 1465 01:13:28,556 --> 01:13:29,858 I know. 1466 01:13:29,925 --> 01:13:32,061 Hey, let's go sue some other people. 1467 01:13:32,127 --> 01:13:33,095 Yes! 1468 01:13:38,500 --> 01:13:41,036 You have defamed my client. 1469 01:13:41,103 --> 01:13:43,505 That's preposterous. I can't defame him. 1470 01:13:43,571 --> 01:13:45,507 He's not famous. 1471 01:13:45,573 --> 01:13:49,111 Defamation is the action 1472 01:13:49,178 --> 01:13:52,681 of damaging someone's good reputation. 1473 01:13:52,748 --> 01:13:54,016 I didn't do that. 1474 01:13:54,083 --> 01:13:56,752 By providing false information 1475 01:13:56,819 --> 01:13:59,721 to a number of Mr. Straw's prospective employers... 1476 01:13:59,788 --> 01:14:01,924 - Mm-hmm. - You did indeed cause 1477 01:14:01,990 --> 01:14:06,161 "ear-rep-pair-a-buhl" harm to my client. 1478 01:14:12,267 --> 01:14:14,970 We withdrew our offer to Mr. Straw in a timely manner. 1479 01:14:15,037 --> 01:14:18,674 By conducting a background check on Mr. Straw 1480 01:14:18,740 --> 01:14:21,543 without his express written permission, 1481 01:14:21,642 --> 01:14:23,278 you have violated federal law 1482 01:14:23,345 --> 01:14:24,780 under the Fair Credit Reporting Act. 1483 01:14:24,847 --> 01:14:26,315 Did you see his posts? 1484 01:14:26,381 --> 01:14:29,251 Did you hear what I said about violating federal law? 1485 01:14:32,221 --> 01:14:35,958 I would put a staple through my hand 1486 01:14:36,024 --> 01:14:37,559 before I let you do it again. 1487 01:14:37,625 --> 01:14:39,862 - Is that what you want? - That's not... 1488 01:14:39,928 --> 01:14:41,330 Do you want me to put a staple through my hand? 1489 01:14:41,396 --> 01:14:42,664 No, I don't think we want to do that. 1490 01:14:42,731 --> 01:14:44,933 I'll do it. 1491 01:14:45,000 --> 01:14:46,969 - Okay, guys. - You see that? 1492 01:14:47,035 --> 01:14:48,137 That's... 1493 01:14:48,203 --> 01:14:51,707 That's a staple in a man's hand for a friend. 1494 01:14:55,577 --> 01:14:58,380 Consider this, uh... 1495 01:14:58,447 --> 01:15:01,183 repaired. 1496 01:15:03,952 --> 01:15:06,088 - Ah-ah. - Ooh. 1497 01:15:08,023 --> 01:15:10,058 - Thank you. - Okay, wow, grabby. 1498 01:15:10,125 --> 01:15:12,628 Your book is the first I've ever published 1499 01:15:12,694 --> 01:15:14,463 from a cold submission. 1500 01:15:14,530 --> 01:15:16,198 You know what tells me? 1501 01:15:16,265 --> 01:15:17,866 - You know what I smell? - Hmm? 1502 01:15:17,933 --> 01:15:20,002 - Success. - Ah. 1503 01:15:20,068 --> 01:15:22,437 I think Sid also smells sequels. 1504 01:15:22,504 --> 01:15:23,839 Sequels? 1505 01:15:23,906 --> 01:15:25,207 Do I sign right... do I sign right here? 1506 01:15:25,274 --> 01:15:28,877 Ah, yes. Sign right there. 1507 01:15:28,944 --> 01:15:31,180 - Hello. - Excuse me, sir, you... 1508 01:15:36,985 --> 01:15:40,155 Um, just one second. 1509 01:15:40,222 --> 01:15:42,157 Sure. 1510 01:15:44,159 --> 01:15:47,262 - Welcome back, Mr. Straw. - Oh, thank you. 1511 01:15:47,329 --> 01:15:49,364 Would you like us to deposit these for you? 1512 01:15:49,431 --> 01:15:50,866 Oh no, thank you. 1513 01:15:50,933 --> 01:15:54,770 I'm taking my money to a bank where people are kinder. 1514 01:16:24,399 --> 01:16:26,101 Oh, wow. 1515 01:16:26,168 --> 01:16:29,571 I didn't think I'd be this nervous. 1516 01:16:29,638 --> 01:16:33,041 Yeah. Me too. 1517 01:16:33,108 --> 01:16:37,680 Are you sure this is the place? 1518 01:16:37,746 --> 01:16:40,616 Yeah, this is the address. 1519 01:16:40,683 --> 01:16:43,452 This looks a little underdressed, you know? 1520 01:16:44,987 --> 01:16:46,723 Thought there'd balloons or... 1521 01:16:46,788 --> 01:16:48,390 - I know, me too. - Something. 1522 01:16:48,457 --> 01:16:50,792 Well hey, good luck. 1523 01:16:50,859 --> 01:16:53,595 Thanks. 1524 01:16:53,663 --> 01:16:58,100 I really couldn't have gotten here without you, James. 1525 01:16:58,166 --> 01:17:03,872 You know, I am real, real proud to call you my client. 1526 01:17:03,939 --> 01:17:06,743 I'm proud to call you my lawyer. 1527 01:17:06,808 --> 01:17:08,277 I'm proud to call you my... 1528 01:17:08,343 --> 01:17:10,045 I'm not on the committee. I should probably get inside. 1529 01:17:10,112 --> 01:17:14,082 Oh, no. Yeah, no, do your thing. 1530 01:17:14,149 --> 01:17:17,886 Show these Ivy Leaguers how to party. 1531 01:17:17,953 --> 01:17:20,555 To be continued. 1532 01:17:39,808 --> 01:17:42,878 Hello. 1533 01:17:42,944 --> 01:17:45,113 Sarah. 1534 01:17:52,689 --> 01:17:54,389 Oh. 1535 01:17:54,456 --> 01:17:56,525 Namey-taggey. 1536 01:17:56,591 --> 01:17:59,194 Just let's see. 1537 01:18:01,296 --> 01:18:03,398 Okay. Okay. 1538 01:18:04,767 --> 01:18:06,902 Ah. 1539 01:18:09,971 --> 01:18:12,641 All right. 1540 01:18:12,709 --> 01:18:14,609 Can't believe he's here. 1541 01:18:49,779 --> 01:18:52,749 Hey. Duncan. 1542 01:18:52,815 --> 01:18:53,949 - Oh, my God. - Ah, hey, Sid. 1543 01:18:55,217 --> 01:18:57,586 Hey. I'm so happy to see you. 1544 01:18:57,652 --> 01:18:59,588 - Where the hell is everybody? - I don't know. 1545 01:18:59,654 --> 01:19:00,989 We're the only Hoefish here. 1546 01:19:01,056 --> 01:19:02,290 God dang it. 1547 01:19:02,357 --> 01:19:04,393 The Facebook page made it look so good. 1548 01:19:04,459 --> 01:19:06,061 I know. They got a lot of likes. 1549 01:19:06,128 --> 01:19:08,230 Hey, did you get my book? Did you get it? 1550 01:19:08,296 --> 01:19:09,431 I sent it like two days ago. 1551 01:19:09,498 --> 01:19:12,100 - Yeah. - Did you read it to Fred? 1552 01:19:12,167 --> 01:19:14,136 No, no, I did not. 1553 01:19:14,202 --> 01:19:16,338 - Why? - I'm not gonna read a book 1554 01:19:16,405 --> 01:19:19,207 called "Fred Smells" to my son Fred. 1555 01:19:20,509 --> 01:19:22,344 Why? It's... that's a play on words. 1556 01:19:22,411 --> 01:19:26,481 How about I read you a book called "Sid Stinks Like Ass"? 1557 01:19:26,548 --> 01:19:29,651 No, no, no, you... you don't understand. 1558 01:19:29,719 --> 01:19:32,087 "Fred smells" is a verb. 1559 01:19:32,154 --> 01:19:33,890 "Fred smells" is not an adjective. 1560 01:19:33,955 --> 01:19:35,056 It's a cash bar. 1561 01:19:35,123 --> 01:19:36,591 No, listen, listen. Okay? 1562 01:19:36,659 --> 01:19:40,529 Sometimes Fred smells and says, "That's delightful." 1563 01:19:40,595 --> 01:19:44,032 Sometimes he smells and says, "That's frightful." 1564 01:19:44,099 --> 01:19:47,102 It doesn't matter where Fred goes. 1565 01:19:47,169 --> 01:19:50,505 Nothing gets past his sensitive nose. 1566 01:19:51,707 --> 01:19:54,409 It sounds like he stinks. I don't know. 1567 01:19:54,476 --> 01:19:57,179 Congratulations on your book deal. 1568 01:19:57,245 --> 01:19:58,447 Is that what you're looking for? 1569 01:19:58,513 --> 01:20:00,081 Congratulations on your new job, 1570 01:20:00,148 --> 01:20:02,551 on your landmark win of the trial. 1571 01:20:04,119 --> 01:20:05,987 I want to mingle with other people. 1572 01:20:28,443 --> 01:20:30,178 Is Elizabeth Banks coming? 1573 01:20:30,245 --> 01:20:32,180 Do you really think she would come, 1574 01:20:32,247 --> 01:20:34,349 knowing he would be here? 1575 01:21:02,477 --> 01:21:04,680 - Hey, Sid. - Hey. 1576 01:21:04,747 --> 01:21:06,749 I just got off work and I thought 1577 01:21:06,816 --> 01:21:08,149 maybe I could sit with you? 1578 01:21:08,216 --> 01:21:09,651 Oh, please, you kidding? I'd love it. 1579 01:21:09,719 --> 01:21:13,088 - Awesome. - I would love it. Ooh. 1580 01:21:13,154 --> 01:21:15,323 But I do not need another filthy whore, 1581 01:21:15,390 --> 01:21:16,959 I'll tell you that much. 1582 01:21:17,025 --> 01:21:18,728 I need a friend right now. 1583 01:21:18,794 --> 01:21:20,362 Aww. What's going on? 1584 01:21:20,428 --> 01:21:23,699 It's been an exhausting day. 1585 01:21:23,766 --> 01:21:24,767 Oh, I'm sorry. 1586 01:21:24,834 --> 01:21:26,836 I'm sorry. When is Kenny picking you up? 1587 01:21:26,903 --> 01:21:28,169 Yeah. 1588 01:21:28,236 --> 01:21:30,372 - I dumped him a while ago. - Really? 1589 01:21:30,438 --> 01:21:32,775 - Mm-hmm. - You did? 1590 01:21:32,842 --> 01:21:35,076 Yeah. 1591 01:21:37,445 --> 01:21:40,148 Do you ever date customers? 1592 01:21:40,215 --> 01:21:41,817 - No. - No. 1593 01:21:41,884 --> 01:21:44,787 - Nah. - Yeah. 1594 01:21:44,854 --> 01:21:46,454 Would you ever date me? 1595 01:21:51,526 --> 01:21:53,061 Oh, sorry. 1596 01:21:53,128 --> 01:21:55,297 Let me... oh, this is my brother. 1597 01:21:55,363 --> 01:21:57,265 Sorry, I gotta get this. 1598 01:21:57,332 --> 01:22:01,136 Hey, Tom, what's up? 1599 01:22:01,202 --> 01:22:03,773 What? 1600 01:22:12,682 --> 01:22:14,649 Hi. 1601 01:22:17,920 --> 01:22:21,256 Hi. Hi. 1602 01:22:21,323 --> 01:22:23,659 - Dude, congratulations. - Thank you. 1603 01:22:23,726 --> 01:22:25,695 There's a person I've never met in our hospital room. 1604 01:22:25,761 --> 01:22:27,362 Oh, yes, sorry, sorry. This is Wendy. 1605 01:22:27,429 --> 01:22:30,066 How you doing, Wendy? I'm Tom Straw, Sid's brother. 1606 01:22:30,131 --> 01:22:32,100 Hi. I'm Janet Berry-Straw. 1607 01:22:32,167 --> 01:22:34,737 No relation do Darryl Strawberry? 1608 01:22:39,909 --> 01:22:41,176 - Okay. - Sid. 1609 01:22:41,242 --> 01:22:42,544 No, I did... I've never said anything to you 1610 01:22:42,611 --> 01:22:44,379 about Darryl Strawberry, have I? 1611 01:22:44,446 --> 01:22:46,682 Uh-uh. 1612 01:22:48,684 --> 01:22:49,785 Sid. 1613 01:22:49,852 --> 01:22:52,722 That's freaking weird. 1614 01:22:52,788 --> 01:22:55,658 Somebody want to tell me what we're laughing at? 1615 01:22:57,359 --> 01:22:58,995 Just show her. 1616 01:22:59,061 --> 01:23:00,562 This was at their wedding. 1617 01:23:00,629 --> 01:23:02,999 This is... this is Darryl Strawberry and Sid, 1618 01:23:03,065 --> 01:23:04,332 dancing the Macarena. 1619 01:23:04,399 --> 01:23:05,533 Yeah, at their wedding. 1620 01:23:05,600 --> 01:23:06,836 Wait, you invited Darryl Strawberry 1621 01:23:06,902 --> 01:23:08,136 to your brother's wedding. 1622 01:23:08,203 --> 01:23:09,437 - Yes. He was my plus one. - And he came. 1623 01:23:09,504 --> 01:23:12,140 And he came. And he was a really nice guy. 1624 01:23:12,207 --> 01:23:13,909 What drugs did they give you? 1625 01:23:13,976 --> 01:23:16,478 Good ones, I think. 1626 01:23:16,544 --> 01:23:18,413 - He's good. - He's good, yeah. 1627 01:23:18,480 --> 01:23:21,316 - Wait for it. - Yeah, wait for it. 1628 01:23:21,383 --> 01:23:23,518 - No, no, not the dress. - Yeah. 1629 01:23:23,585 --> 01:23:25,253 - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. - Oh! 1630 01:23:25,320 --> 01:23:27,222 Oh, the dress. The dress. 1631 01:23:27,288 --> 01:23:30,026 - Both girls. - Oh. 1632 01:23:30,092 --> 01:23:31,359 Yeah. 1633 01:23:31,426 --> 01:23:34,664 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was bad. 1634 01:23:34,730 --> 01:23:38,199 It was bad. 1635 01:23:38,266 --> 01:23:39,702 I would never do that. I would just... 1636 01:23:39,769 --> 01:23:40,736 Oh my... 1637 01:23:40,803 --> 01:23:42,404 All right, we'll let you guys go. 1638 01:23:42,470 --> 01:23:44,439 We just wanted to say... come in and say hi. 1639 01:23:44,506 --> 01:23:47,143 Actually, we want to ask you something. 1640 01:23:47,208 --> 01:23:48,811 Oh, yeah. 1641 01:23:48,878 --> 01:23:50,146 What, me? 1642 01:23:50,211 --> 01:23:52,347 Oh, right. 1643 01:23:54,449 --> 01:23:57,185 We want you to be the godfather. 1644 01:23:57,252 --> 01:23:58,821 Don't cry. 1645 01:23:58,888 --> 01:24:01,757 Don't cry. You're gonna make me cry. 1646 01:24:03,125 --> 01:24:05,627 Sid. 1647 01:24:05,695 --> 01:24:08,596 - So amaze... - Don't. Don't make me cry. 1648 01:24:08,664 --> 01:24:11,199 - So amazing. - Aww. 1649 01:24:13,069 --> 01:24:16,772 But listen, no speeches at the christening, okay? 1650 01:24:16,839 --> 01:24:18,440 - Okay. - I give a good speech. 1651 01:24:18,506 --> 01:24:20,308 - They're literally the worst. - I give a good speech. 1652 01:24:20,375 --> 01:24:22,577 Awful. Do you want to hold her? 1653 01:24:22,644 --> 01:24:24,579 - Yes, I want to hold her. - Okay, come here. 1654 01:24:24,646 --> 01:24:26,148 I want to hold her. I want to hold her. 1655 01:24:26,214 --> 01:24:27,183 Just watch her head. It's so fragile. 1656 01:24:27,248 --> 01:24:28,818 - Hi, baby. - Watch her head. 1657 01:24:28,884 --> 01:24:31,386 - There we go. - Hi, baby. Hi, baby. 1658 01:24:34,924 --> 01:24:37,026 Hey. 1659 01:24:37,093 --> 01:24:39,394 I'm Uncle Sid. 1660 01:24:42,732 --> 01:24:44,767 Someone is calling you right now. 1661 01:24:44,834 --> 01:24:46,468 No, no, it's okay. 1662 01:24:46,534 --> 01:24:48,671 The only people I want to talk to are in this room. 1663 01:24:48,738 --> 01:24:51,907 Yes. I want to talk to you. 1664 01:25:20,435 --> 01:25:24,272 Hi. Sid, it's Liz. Elizabeth. Banks. 1665 01:25:24,339 --> 01:25:25,941 It's Elizabeth Banks from Penn. 1666 01:25:26,008 --> 01:25:27,743 And "Spiderman." 1667 01:25:27,810 --> 01:25:29,577 Anyway, I just read your posts. 1668 01:25:29,644 --> 01:25:31,247 Of course I remember you. 1669 01:25:31,312 --> 01:25:34,216 I know this sounds crazy, but ask anyone who knows me. 1670 01:25:34,282 --> 01:25:36,886 Whenever I meet someone who is especially nice, I always say, 1671 01:25:36,952 --> 01:25:38,754 "You remind me of this awesome guy 1672 01:25:38,821 --> 01:25:40,823 I went to college with, Sid Straw." 1673 01:25:40,890 --> 01:25:43,192 Oh gosh, I just realized what time it is in Arizona. 1674 01:25:43,259 --> 01:25:45,027 I'm sorry, I really hope I didn't wake anybody. 1675 01:25:45,094 --> 01:25:47,930 I just got back from filming overseas, 1676 01:25:47,997 --> 01:25:51,233 and the jetlag has me, like... waah... all over the place. 1677 01:25:51,299 --> 01:25:54,569 Okay, so you should call me so we can catch up. 1678 01:25:54,636 --> 01:25:57,006 Eat Wheaties! 1679 01:25:57,072 --> 01:25:58,941 Hey, I forgot to leave my phone number. 1680 01:25:59,008 --> 01:26:01,243 It's Liz, again, from "Spiderman 2" and "3". 1681 01:26:01,309 --> 01:26:02,510 The first "Spidermans." 1682 01:26:02,577 --> 01:26:04,180 You know, they made other ones. 1683 01:26:04,246 --> 01:26:06,749 Anyway, I hope you don't mind. I got your number from Keaton. 1684 01:26:06,816 --> 01:26:10,618 Which reminds me, my kids love "Fred Smells." 1685 01:26:10,686 --> 01:26:12,620 Maybe we can make that into a movie? 1686 01:26:12,688 --> 01:26:14,422 Anyway, all right. You should call me back. 1687 01:26:14,489 --> 01:26:16,391 Eat Wheaties!