1 00:00:01,140 --> 00:00:03,557 (film rolls) 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from hqcinemas.com 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official HQCINEMAS movies site: hqcinemas.com 4 00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:11,717 (upbeat music) 5 00:00:15,746 --> 00:00:17,452 - [Steve] It's not healthy is all I'm saying, man. 6 00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:18,389 You get backed up like that, 7 00:00:18,389 --> 00:00:19,347 you're bound to explode. 8 00:00:19,347 --> 00:00:20,891 - [John] It's really not a problem. 9 00:00:20,891 --> 00:00:22,271 - [Steve] Not a problem? 10 00:00:22,271 --> 00:00:24,331 John, how many years ago did Nichole leave you, 11 00:00:24,331 --> 00:00:26,628 and you hadn't been with anyone else since? 12 00:00:26,628 --> 00:00:28,445 People are starting to talk, man, 13 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:31,123 and the Pope called last week to see if you were okay. 14 00:00:31,123 --> 00:00:31,997 - [John] What did you tell him? 15 00:00:31,997 --> 00:00:32,830 - I told me better change 16 00:00:32,830 --> 00:00:34,542 the church's position on masturbation, 17 00:00:34,542 --> 00:00:37,014 otherwise you're liable to lose your immortal soul. 18 00:00:37,014 --> 00:00:39,597 (upbeat music) 19 00:00:48,810 --> 00:00:49,851 ♪ I set out on a journey ♪ 20 00:00:49,851 --> 00:00:51,182 ♪ Without even knowing that ♪ 21 00:00:51,182 --> 00:00:52,836 ♪ Directions to my castle ♪ 22 00:00:52,836 --> 00:00:54,380 ♪ I don't know where I should be going ♪ 23 00:00:54,380 --> 00:00:55,213 ♪ I gotta a feeling ♪ 24 00:00:55,213 --> 00:00:56,607 ♪ So I head out on my way ♪ 25 00:00:56,607 --> 00:00:57,857 ♪ 'cause There's a princess in distress ♪ 26 00:00:57,857 --> 00:00:59,993 ♪ You know I gotta save the day ♪ 27 00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:02,827 ♪ I grab my shield and I grab my sword ♪ 28 00:01:02,827 --> 00:01:05,409 ♪ A couple scrolls in case I might get bored ♪ 29 00:01:05,409 --> 00:01:06,498 ♪ It's gonna be a journey ♪ 30 00:01:06,498 --> 00:01:07,893 ♪ Gonna have a lot of battles ♪ 31 00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:09,369 ♪ But you know I won't show no mercy ♪ 32 00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:12,266 ♪ When I show up to that castle ♪ 33 00:01:12,266 --> 00:01:14,436 (upbeat music) 34 00:01:14,436 --> 00:01:16,998 ♪ Heads up, I don't know what is brewing ♪ 35 00:01:16,998 --> 00:01:19,870 ♪ Look out, you gonna have to get out my way ♪ 36 00:01:19,870 --> 00:01:22,425 ♪ I won't stop doing what I'm doing ♪ 37 00:01:22,425 --> 00:01:23,504 ♪ Time is running out ♪ 38 00:01:23,504 --> 00:01:25,555 ♪ And you know I gotta go save the day♪ 39 00:01:25,555 --> 00:01:28,350 ♪ Heads up, I don't know what is brewing ♪ 40 00:01:28,350 --> 00:01:31,187 ♪ Look out, you gonna have to get out my way ♪ 41 00:01:31,187 --> 00:01:33,605 ♪ I won't stop doing what I'm doing ♪ 42 00:01:33,605 --> 00:01:34,704 ♪ I'm trying to be a hero ♪ 43 00:01:34,704 --> 00:01:36,857 ♪ And time for me to go save the day ♪ 44 00:01:36,857 --> 00:01:39,440 (upbeat music) 45 00:01:43,195 --> 00:01:46,701 - What exactly is the church's stance on masturbation? 46 00:01:46,701 --> 00:01:48,573 - Sitting I think. 47 00:01:48,573 --> 00:01:50,072 (John laughs) 48 00:01:50,072 --> 00:01:53,535 I mean, seriously, man, what's the problem? 49 00:01:53,535 --> 00:01:54,491 - I don't know, man. 50 00:01:54,491 --> 00:01:56,538 It's hard meeting people. 51 00:01:56,538 --> 00:01:58,706 I'm out of practice. 52 00:01:58,706 --> 00:01:59,962 - What practice? 53 00:01:59,962 --> 00:02:02,563 All you gonna do is meet 'em, smile, 54 00:02:02,563 --> 00:02:04,436 get in there and jam. 55 00:02:04,436 --> 00:02:06,421 - All right, you're right, 56 00:02:06,421 --> 00:02:07,840 but I don't know, man, fuck, 57 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:10,727 I just wish I hadn't fallen in love with her, you know. 58 00:02:10,727 --> 00:02:12,601 - No, that word. 59 00:02:12,601 --> 00:02:14,110 - What word? 60 00:02:14,110 --> 00:02:16,837 - That is the word the Knights of Ni cannot hear, John. 61 00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,087 - Oh, fuck off. 62 00:02:19,396 --> 00:02:22,242 (phone rings) 63 00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:24,340 - Oh, I think my ride's here. 64 00:02:24,340 --> 00:02:26,525 - (laughs) What did she finally get her learners permit? 65 00:02:26,525 --> 00:02:27,892 - No, (blows raspberries). 66 00:02:27,892 --> 00:02:28,725 - Okay, okay. 67 00:02:28,725 --> 00:02:29,558 (rock music) 68 00:02:29,558 --> 00:02:31,391 Whatever, more for me. 69 00:02:32,523 --> 00:02:34,687 Oh Steve, look what you're missing out on. 70 00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:37,687 (upbeat rock music) 71 00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:46,303 ♪ We aint got much but ♪ 72 00:02:46,303 --> 00:02:48,291 ♪ It's seems quite enough ♪ 73 00:02:48,291 --> 00:02:52,321 ♪ When I'm with you doing na, na, na, na, nothing ♪ 74 00:02:52,321 --> 00:02:54,279 ♪ This is my season ♪ 75 00:02:54,279 --> 00:02:56,267 ♪ Making rhyme reason ♪ 76 00:02:56,267 --> 00:02:58,553 ♪ Nothing but singing la, la, la, la ♪ 77 00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:01,470 (video game music) 78 00:03:03,162 --> 00:03:04,220 - Morning boys. 79 00:03:04,220 --> 00:03:05,088 What's the score? 80 00:03:05,088 --> 00:03:05,921 - Oh, hey man. 81 00:03:05,921 --> 00:03:06,754 - What's up, chief? 82 00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:07,587 I'm winning. 83 00:03:07,587 --> 00:03:08,420 - Ah, bullshit! 84 00:03:08,420 --> 00:03:09,308 And easy with that chief crap, 85 00:03:09,308 --> 00:03:10,830 I'm one-16th Native American. 86 00:03:10,830 --> 00:03:12,382 - Fucker! - Oh hey! 87 00:03:12,382 --> 00:03:13,858 - Lighten up, Francis. 88 00:03:13,858 --> 00:03:14,995 - Ah, it's Frank, asshole. 89 00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:15,828 - Psycho! 90 00:03:16,820 --> 00:03:19,208 - Fucking white people. - I know, right? 91 00:03:19,208 --> 00:03:20,041 (Steve knocks) 92 00:03:20,041 --> 00:03:21,291 - John, get up. 93 00:03:26,335 --> 00:03:28,009 Am I interrupting something? 94 00:03:28,009 --> 00:03:29,384 - Possibly a world record. 95 00:03:29,384 --> 00:03:30,629 - I'll call Guinness. 96 00:03:30,629 --> 00:03:32,256 - Mm, what are we late again or something? 97 00:03:32,256 --> 00:03:35,529 - All considering classes started last week. 98 00:03:35,529 --> 00:03:37,229 No, no, I'd say we're right on time. 99 00:03:37,229 --> 00:03:38,727 - Mm, all right, give me a second, I'll be ready. 100 00:03:38,727 --> 00:03:39,730 - Atta boy. 101 00:03:39,730 --> 00:03:41,059 (upbeat music) 102 00:03:41,059 --> 00:03:44,142 (car engine revving) 103 00:03:55,854 --> 00:03:57,896 ♪ We aint got much but ♪ 104 00:03:57,896 --> 00:04:00,215 ♪ It seems quite enough ♪ 105 00:04:00,215 --> 00:04:01,689 (both chucking) 106 00:04:01,689 --> 00:04:04,049 - Let's go learn, man. 107 00:04:04,049 --> 00:04:05,921 ♪ This is my season ♪ 108 00:04:05,921 --> 00:04:06,754 ♪ Making rhyme reason ♪ 109 00:04:06,754 --> 00:04:08,420 - This kind of looks the staff parking lot... 110 00:04:08,420 --> 00:04:11,264 - I'm surprised they still let us come back here. 111 00:04:11,264 --> 00:04:13,604 Especially with the last year, man. 112 00:04:13,604 --> 00:04:15,485 - Oh yeah, when we shit in that trash can, 113 00:04:15,485 --> 00:04:16,318 oh my God. 114 00:04:16,318 --> 00:04:17,151 - It was in the girls' bathroom, 115 00:04:17,151 --> 00:04:18,606 that was the problem. 116 00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:19,881 - You're gonna be on TV? 117 00:04:19,881 --> 00:04:21,841 - Well, the math doesn't even add up. 118 00:04:21,841 --> 00:04:24,332 Ooh, hey, I don't think we should be here today, man. 119 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,471 - What are you talking about? 120 00:04:26,471 --> 00:04:28,090 Dude, is that- - No, no. 121 00:04:28,090 --> 00:04:30,163 - Is that- - No, it definitely isn't. 122 00:04:30,163 --> 00:04:31,790 - Dude, that's Nichole. - No, it isn't, 123 00:04:31,790 --> 00:04:32,624 it's somebody else. 124 00:04:32,624 --> 00:04:34,473 Hey, you know, I hear your mom calling you. 125 00:04:34,473 --> 00:04:35,470 What's that, Mrs. Barden? 126 00:04:35,470 --> 00:04:39,029 John stole your socks again? - Hey, hey, how do I look? 127 00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,167 - You look like a lesbian, 128 00:04:40,167 --> 00:04:41,000 so we should go home and change. 129 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,155 - What does that even mean, man? 130 00:04:42,155 --> 00:04:44,738 (bouncy music) 131 00:04:48,439 --> 00:04:50,859 Having some trouble there? 132 00:04:50,859 --> 00:04:52,424 - John? 133 00:04:52,424 --> 00:04:53,816 - Hey, hey! - Oh my God! 134 00:04:53,816 --> 00:04:55,286 - How are you doing? - How are you, 135 00:04:55,286 --> 00:04:56,812 are you still in school? 136 00:04:56,812 --> 00:05:00,215 - Yeah, I took a year off or three, 137 00:05:00,215 --> 00:05:01,332 three years off. 138 00:05:01,332 --> 00:05:02,802 - So you still living with your parents? 139 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,029 - No, no, no, actually they're away for the summer, 140 00:05:05,029 --> 00:05:07,278 so place to myself, you know. 141 00:05:07,278 --> 00:05:08,735 - What class do you have? 142 00:05:08,735 --> 00:05:10,119 - Sociology. 143 00:05:10,119 --> 00:05:12,371 Actually in a couple of minutes with, 144 00:05:12,371 --> 00:05:13,825 you remember Steve? 145 00:05:13,825 --> 00:05:15,658 - Hey! - Oh, come on, dude. 146 00:05:15,658 --> 00:05:17,113 Well, what about you? 147 00:05:17,113 --> 00:05:17,946 What are you doing here? 148 00:05:17,946 --> 00:05:19,691 - Oh, it's a long story. 149 00:05:19,691 --> 00:05:21,330 At the last minute the university decided 150 00:05:21,330 --> 00:05:23,172 to void my AP Chem class, 151 00:05:23,172 --> 00:05:24,886 so I needed to get the credit, 152 00:05:24,886 --> 00:05:26,378 get my masters and. 153 00:05:26,378 --> 00:05:27,633 - That sucks, I'm sorry to hear that. 154 00:05:27,633 --> 00:05:28,466 - Yeah, tell me about it, 155 00:05:28,466 --> 00:05:31,045 but they're letting me audit it here instead of New York, 156 00:05:31,045 --> 00:05:32,169 saves me like 2,000 bucks. 157 00:05:32,169 --> 00:05:34,764 - Oh, yeah, who's teaching that class? 158 00:05:34,764 --> 00:05:35,889 - Williams. 159 00:05:35,889 --> 00:05:38,009 - Oh my God, dude, 160 00:05:38,009 --> 00:05:40,019 we're in that class too. 161 00:05:40,019 --> 00:05:40,891 - Yeah. - Yeah. 162 00:05:40,891 --> 00:05:43,237 - Sure, that's why you missed the first day. 163 00:05:43,237 --> 00:05:46,266 - Well, yeah, I mean we had some scheduling problems, 164 00:05:46,266 --> 00:05:48,409 so you know, we are actually on the way to talk 165 00:05:48,409 --> 00:05:50,311 to professor- - Williams. 166 00:05:50,311 --> 00:05:52,284 - Williams, right now actually. 167 00:05:52,284 --> 00:05:53,209 - Okay. - Yeah. 168 00:05:53,209 --> 00:05:55,885 - Well, I guess I'll see you in class then. 169 00:05:55,885 --> 00:05:58,623 - Yes, you will, study buddies? 170 00:05:58,623 --> 00:06:00,508 - Sure. - All right. 171 00:06:00,508 --> 00:06:01,914 - You look good, John. 172 00:06:01,914 --> 00:06:02,821 - You too. 173 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,871 - Call me? - Yes, absolutely. 174 00:06:04,871 --> 00:06:05,704 - Okay. 175 00:06:07,135 --> 00:06:09,065 - Six years of rehabilitation down the drain. 176 00:06:09,065 --> 00:06:10,821 - We have to get into Chem, man. 177 00:06:10,821 --> 00:06:12,652 - John, I'm your friend, 178 00:06:12,652 --> 00:06:13,539 let's keep it that way. 179 00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,859 - Let's go to Chem, let's go to Chem. 180 00:06:15,859 --> 00:06:17,319 - You're doing that stupid dance 181 00:06:17,319 --> 00:06:18,152 isn't gonna makes me wanna go any faster. 182 00:06:18,152 --> 00:06:19,182 - Let's go to Chem. - I have it, 183 00:06:19,182 --> 00:06:21,432 it's not gonna help anyone. 184 00:06:24,808 --> 00:06:27,031 - Excuse me, Professor Williams. 185 00:06:27,031 --> 00:06:27,864 - Yeah. 186 00:06:28,725 --> 00:06:30,532 - I'm trying to get into your advanced chemistry class, 187 00:06:30,532 --> 00:06:33,281 but they won't let me register without your signature. 188 00:06:33,281 --> 00:06:34,700 - Well, you're a week late. 189 00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:36,853 I'm sorry, I can't catch up now. 190 00:06:36,853 --> 00:06:38,667 You have to wait till next semester to sign up. 191 00:06:38,667 --> 00:06:40,775 - Right, sorry, we wasted your time, come on, man. 192 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:41,885 - No, no, no, no, no. 193 00:06:41,885 --> 00:06:44,008 Sir, my entire future depends on me getting 194 00:06:44,008 --> 00:06:46,508 into this class this semester. 195 00:06:47,989 --> 00:06:49,245 - You know, this class is no joke. 196 00:06:49,245 --> 00:06:51,162 - And I'm not laughing. 197 00:06:52,089 --> 00:06:54,955 - Okay, what's the atomic weight of Xenon. 198 00:06:54,955 --> 00:06:55,788 - 131.29. 199 00:06:58,224 --> 00:07:00,557 - Wow, welcome to the class. 200 00:07:01,585 --> 00:07:02,457 Catch up on your own, 201 00:07:02,457 --> 00:07:04,970 and we're starting chapter four, Mr? 202 00:07:04,970 --> 00:07:06,636 - Barden, John Barden, 203 00:07:06,636 --> 00:07:08,565 and thank you, you're not gonna regret this really. 204 00:07:08,565 --> 00:07:09,398 Come on. 205 00:07:10,249 --> 00:07:12,951 - Dude, dude, how the hell did you know that? 206 00:07:12,951 --> 00:07:16,013 - Oh dude, you said I was an idiot for buying this shirt. 207 00:07:16,013 --> 00:07:17,914 - I said you were an idiot for buying 20 of those. 208 00:07:17,914 --> 00:07:19,353 - Well, I don't like to do laundry. 209 00:07:19,353 --> 00:07:22,501 (Steve chuckles) 210 00:07:22,501 --> 00:07:24,766 - So anyways, I woke up and I was like, wait, 211 00:07:24,766 --> 00:07:26,126 that was your dog licking me? 212 00:07:26,126 --> 00:07:27,896 'Cause I definitely thought it was you. 213 00:07:27,896 --> 00:07:29,229 It was so weird. 214 00:07:32,611 --> 00:07:33,892 - Well, all the hallways look the same. 215 00:07:33,892 --> 00:07:35,645 - Hey, are we in the sociology wing? 216 00:07:35,645 --> 00:07:37,179 Cause I don't understand. 217 00:07:37,179 --> 00:07:39,063 - Wait, hold on, let me ask. 218 00:07:39,063 --> 00:07:41,353 Excuse me, oh, ah, sorry. 219 00:07:41,353 --> 00:07:42,540 - Are they meditating in there? 220 00:07:42,540 --> 00:07:44,139 - Yeah, how do we get into that class? 221 00:07:44,139 --> 00:07:46,100 - Right, couldn't you just sleep the entire time, 222 00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:47,239 and pass that class? 223 00:07:47,239 --> 00:07:49,752 - I'd get an A plus plus for sure. 224 00:07:49,752 --> 00:07:51,143 (upbeat music) 225 00:07:51,143 --> 00:07:55,918 - Now as you know Sociology is a science, 226 00:07:56,781 --> 00:08:01,154 and there're many times when the rules of sociology 227 00:08:01,154 --> 00:08:03,063 combine with science, 228 00:08:03,063 --> 00:08:06,480 and one of those would be the incarnation 229 00:08:07,847 --> 00:08:09,930 of the modern "toofbrush." 230 00:08:14,746 --> 00:08:16,246 Boys, you is late. 231 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,236 - We is? 232 00:08:19,236 --> 00:08:20,601 We sorry. 233 00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,279 - Yeah, we got stuck in our other class, 234 00:08:22,279 --> 00:08:23,963 the professor held us late. 235 00:08:23,963 --> 00:08:25,963 - And who might that be? 236 00:08:27,444 --> 00:08:32,419 - Professor Defringsdingbergnessner. 237 00:08:33,918 --> 00:08:35,029 - Who? 238 00:08:35,029 --> 00:08:38,112 - Professor Defringsdingbergnessner. 239 00:08:39,024 --> 00:08:41,142 - Defringsdingbergnessner. 240 00:08:41,142 --> 00:08:42,475 Oh, I knows him. 241 00:08:44,419 --> 00:08:45,252 You know what? 242 00:08:45,252 --> 00:08:46,915 I'll have a chat on him later on. 243 00:08:46,915 --> 00:08:48,710 Make sure he don't keep my boys after anymore. 244 00:08:48,710 --> 00:08:49,543 - Oh, thank you very much. 245 00:08:49,543 --> 00:08:51,120 We'd really appreciate that. 246 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:51,953 - You bet. 247 00:08:52,957 --> 00:08:53,910 - What are your names, boys? 248 00:08:53,910 --> 00:08:57,404 I gotta write in roll book over yonder. 249 00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:58,492 - John Barden. 250 00:08:58,492 --> 00:08:59,325 - Steve. 251 00:09:01,210 --> 00:09:03,094 This guy's a complete freaking idiot. 252 00:09:03,094 --> 00:09:05,261 - He's gotta be faking it. 253 00:09:07,850 --> 00:09:08,683 - Okay. 254 00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:13,334 Where was I? 255 00:09:14,309 --> 00:09:15,670 - "Toofbrush?" 256 00:09:15,670 --> 00:09:18,785 - "Toofbrush," yes, thank you very much. 257 00:09:18,785 --> 00:09:21,399 We need to talk about the "toofbrush," 258 00:09:21,399 --> 00:09:25,658 and its effects on society as we know it today. 259 00:09:26,978 --> 00:09:28,296 Before we start, 260 00:09:28,296 --> 00:09:32,638 does anybody have any questions or comments? 261 00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:35,071 Yes, Willie. 262 00:09:36,174 --> 00:09:41,104 - Sure, I think that the "toofbrush" is a necessary evil. 263 00:09:41,104 --> 00:09:42,922 - Yes, it is. 264 00:09:42,922 --> 00:09:44,614 I believe that too. 265 00:09:44,614 --> 00:09:47,858 The "toofbrush" or mouth stick 266 00:09:47,858 --> 00:09:50,671 as it was called frequently back in the day 267 00:09:50,671 --> 00:09:55,663 was invented in 1654 by Sir Walter Toof. 268 00:09:59,113 --> 00:09:59,946 - Hey? 269 00:10:00,969 --> 00:10:02,362 What are you doing? 270 00:10:02,362 --> 00:10:03,965 - Taking notes. 271 00:10:03,965 --> 00:10:06,125 Seriously, leave me alone. 272 00:10:06,125 --> 00:10:08,250 I'm trying to get something from this class. 273 00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:09,083 - From this guy, 274 00:10:09,083 --> 00:10:10,066 are you kidding me? 275 00:10:10,066 --> 00:10:12,125 The only thing you're gonna get is lost. 276 00:10:12,125 --> 00:10:14,168 All right, tell you what? 277 00:10:14,168 --> 00:10:16,606 You're better off coming back to my place, 278 00:10:16,606 --> 00:10:18,971 and trying on my mouth stick. 279 00:10:18,971 --> 00:10:20,715 - You are so sick. 280 00:10:20,715 --> 00:10:23,621 - Oh my God, could you keep it down, please? 281 00:10:23,621 --> 00:10:25,851 Some of us are actually trying to do well in this class. 282 00:10:25,851 --> 00:10:27,590 - Unbelievable some people, 283 00:10:27,590 --> 00:10:30,331 the lack of respect for a tenured professor. 284 00:10:30,331 --> 00:10:31,164 - Thank you. 285 00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:32,571 Yes, young lady, 286 00:10:32,571 --> 00:10:34,821 please try to keep it down. 287 00:10:36,717 --> 00:10:39,562 Let's get back to the lesson. 288 00:10:39,562 --> 00:10:42,179 Similar to the caste system in India, 289 00:10:42,179 --> 00:10:43,926 the toothbrush made way 290 00:10:43,926 --> 00:10:48,070 for a bunch of advantaged people here in the new world, 291 00:10:48,070 --> 00:10:49,268 and we could even- 292 00:10:49,268 --> 00:10:52,367 (phone rings) 293 00:10:52,367 --> 00:10:55,700 - Now class, must I repeat myself again? 294 00:10:58,651 --> 00:11:02,883 There is no room for that gadgetry junk here 295 00:11:02,883 --> 00:11:04,379 here while I am teaching, 296 00:11:04,379 --> 00:11:05,651 not in my classroom. 297 00:11:05,651 --> 00:11:07,885 Sir, come here, give that to me. 298 00:11:07,885 --> 00:11:08,718 Bring that up here, 299 00:11:08,718 --> 00:11:11,058 I will hold your junk till the end of class. 300 00:11:11,058 --> 00:11:12,464 (John laughs) 301 00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:13,297 - Shut up. 302 00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:14,130 - Come on. 303 00:11:15,705 --> 00:11:17,372 Do not believe this. 304 00:11:18,379 --> 00:11:19,357 Just give me that. 305 00:11:19,357 --> 00:11:20,190 Thank you. 306 00:11:21,629 --> 00:11:24,177 Hmm, she's gotta be cold. 307 00:11:24,177 --> 00:11:25,427 - Was he gentle with your junk? 308 00:11:25,427 --> 00:11:26,971 - Shut the fuck up, John. 309 00:11:26,971 --> 00:11:27,971 - All right. 310 00:11:29,501 --> 00:11:32,264 So they were using towels for the longest time 311 00:11:32,264 --> 00:11:33,657 before the toothbrush... 312 00:11:33,657 --> 00:11:37,683 (music drowns out professor) 313 00:11:37,683 --> 00:11:40,550 (upbeat music) 314 00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:42,316 ♪ I can't explain what it is ♪ 315 00:11:42,316 --> 00:11:47,254 ♪ That you do to me ♪ 316 00:11:47,254 --> 00:11:48,087 ♪ Yeah, I can't eat ♪ 317 00:11:48,087 --> 00:11:48,920 ♪ I can't sleep ♪ 318 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:52,504 ♪ I can barely breathe ♪ 319 00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:55,042 - 101.2, it's John the bartender here 320 00:11:55,042 --> 00:11:58,689 with the finger deep into your local talents. 321 00:11:58,689 --> 00:12:01,385 That was Phonetic Plumbing with Llarry. 322 00:12:01,385 --> 00:12:03,846 Up next, we got Wood with their hit song, 323 00:12:03,846 --> 00:12:05,948 and then a little Champagne Cupcake Trio 324 00:12:05,948 --> 00:12:06,907 to finish the night off, 325 00:12:06,907 --> 00:12:11,071 so stay with us as long as you can keep your eyes open. 326 00:12:11,071 --> 00:12:12,237 101.2. 327 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:19,311 Just when I thought I was out, 328 00:12:19,311 --> 00:12:21,478 she pulls me back in boys. 329 00:12:22,339 --> 00:12:24,885 - Oh, did you just quote "The Godfather" three? 330 00:12:24,885 --> 00:12:28,968 - I think I just died a little bit on the inside. 331 00:12:29,864 --> 00:12:33,882 - We should get chicken on the way home. 332 00:12:33,882 --> 00:12:35,280 - You guys suck. 333 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:36,197 - You suck. 334 00:12:37,084 --> 00:12:40,278 (phone rings) 335 00:12:40,278 --> 00:12:41,278 - Hey Roger, 336 00:12:43,228 --> 00:12:45,437 No, no, no, man, Saturdays, I don't work ever, 337 00:12:45,437 --> 00:12:47,770 so you're gonna have to reschedule that or something. 338 00:12:47,770 --> 00:12:48,603 Stop! 339 00:12:49,744 --> 00:12:52,333 No, no man, Saturdays, I really can't help you. 340 00:12:52,333 --> 00:12:53,681 Okay, I'm sorry, 341 00:12:53,681 --> 00:12:56,301 and I'm sorry for your loss too. 342 00:12:56,301 --> 00:12:57,849 Can you stop? 343 00:12:57,849 --> 00:13:00,432 (upbeat music) 344 00:13:02,486 --> 00:13:05,319 ♪ It's gotta be against the law to look this damn good ♪ 345 00:13:05,319 --> 00:13:07,054 ♪ Watch out now ♪ 346 00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:09,637 ♪ 'Cause baby I feel real and I wish I would ♪ 347 00:13:09,637 --> 00:13:11,635 ♪ Watch out now ♪ 348 00:13:11,635 --> 00:13:14,257 ♪ It's gotta be against the law to look this damn good ♪ 349 00:13:14,257 --> 00:13:16,083 ♪ Watch out now ♪ 350 00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:18,897 ♪ Everybody watch out ♪ 351 00:13:18,897 --> 00:13:19,964 ♪ Watch out now ♪ 352 00:13:19,964 --> 00:13:20,797 Hello! 353 00:13:21,737 --> 00:13:23,675 - Hi, do you have an application? 354 00:13:23,675 --> 00:13:24,629 - Yes, I do. 355 00:13:24,629 --> 00:13:26,149 - I'm Steve, Steve Dillard, 356 00:13:26,149 --> 00:13:26,982 and you are? 357 00:13:26,982 --> 00:13:28,728 - Cindy Pressman. 358 00:13:28,728 --> 00:13:31,015 - And you must be Cindy's sister 359 00:13:31,015 --> 00:13:33,228 - (chuckles) Cindy, I like this one. 360 00:13:33,228 --> 00:13:35,981 Hello, you're a sweet talker, aren't you? 361 00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:36,978 My name is aunt Shelly, 362 00:13:36,978 --> 00:13:38,134 I'm Cindy's aunt Shelly, 363 00:13:38,134 --> 00:13:40,801 but you can call me aunt Shelly. 364 00:13:41,783 --> 00:13:43,422 - Aunt Shelly. - Mm-hmm. 365 00:13:43,422 --> 00:13:44,905 - I love it. 366 00:13:44,905 --> 00:13:46,707 - Do you wanna go get that application? 367 00:13:46,707 --> 00:13:48,238 Follow me. 368 00:13:48,238 --> 00:13:49,071 Excuse me. 369 00:13:55,972 --> 00:14:00,821 - Right, everything here looks... 370 00:14:00,821 --> 00:14:04,970 sexy- um... satisfactory. 371 00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:07,062 Unfortunately, they're gonna make me ask you 372 00:14:07,062 --> 00:14:08,161 a couple of questions, 373 00:14:08,161 --> 00:14:12,643 so I see you are a senior at Olympia. 374 00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:13,660 - Yes. 375 00:14:13,660 --> 00:14:17,217 - Right, so what made you want to apply here? 376 00:14:17,217 --> 00:14:18,050 - I don't know, 377 00:14:18,050 --> 00:14:19,079 I like movies. 378 00:14:19,079 --> 00:14:20,202 - No way, I do too, 379 00:14:20,202 --> 00:14:21,535 that's so crazy. 380 00:14:22,410 --> 00:14:25,496 I see you have a birthday coming up. 381 00:14:25,496 --> 00:14:28,563 - In two months? - Yeah, Yeah. 382 00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:32,730 So how do you feel about fondling, handling money, 383 00:14:34,138 --> 00:14:36,418 like out of the cash registers? 384 00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:37,289 - Okay, I guess. 385 00:14:37,289 --> 00:14:38,223 - Yeah. 386 00:14:38,223 --> 00:14:41,839 You held a lot of other positions? 387 00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:43,379 - Positions? 388 00:14:43,379 --> 00:14:44,937 - Oh jobs, sorry. 389 00:14:44,937 --> 00:14:47,324 - Oh, jobs, I babysat. 390 00:14:47,324 --> 00:14:50,048 - Great, how about weekends? 391 00:14:50,048 --> 00:14:52,468 - Yeah, I used to babysit on the weekends. 392 00:14:52,468 --> 00:14:55,585 - No, like are you free on the weekends? 393 00:14:55,585 --> 00:14:57,770 - Well, not if I'm working. 394 00:14:57,770 --> 00:14:59,603 - Right, you're smart. 395 00:15:00,918 --> 00:15:03,189 Okay, if the phone were to ring right now, 396 00:15:03,189 --> 00:15:05,965 how would you answer it? 397 00:15:05,965 --> 00:15:07,757 - How complicated are your phones? 398 00:15:07,757 --> 00:15:10,174 I've only used normal phones. 399 00:15:11,751 --> 00:15:13,016 - That's an unfair question, 400 00:15:13,016 --> 00:15:14,483 and I'm not gonna ask it again. 401 00:15:14,483 --> 00:15:17,316 - Okay, what about transportation? 402 00:15:18,202 --> 00:15:19,035 - I don't have a car, 403 00:15:19,035 --> 00:15:20,859 but my uncle Zeke could probably give me a ride. 404 00:15:20,859 --> 00:15:22,442 - Yeah, uncle Zeke. 405 00:15:26,276 --> 00:15:29,454 (blows raspberries) You are so hired. (laughs) 406 00:15:29,454 --> 00:15:32,559 So when can you start? - Next weekend? 407 00:15:32,559 --> 00:15:37,559 - Great, how is Saturday at one? 408 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,032 - Great, I'll be here. 409 00:15:39,032 --> 00:15:41,985 - And so will I. 410 00:15:41,985 --> 00:15:44,029 (upbeat music) 411 00:15:44,029 --> 00:15:45,276 I can't wait, it's gonna be so fun. 412 00:15:45,276 --> 00:15:46,348 (Cindy chuckles) 413 00:15:46,348 --> 00:15:47,495 Throwing pop corn at each other, 414 00:15:47,495 --> 00:15:49,210 no, I can't 'cause then I'll have to clean it up 415 00:15:49,210 --> 00:15:50,991 and I'm not gonna do that. 416 00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:53,574 (upbeat music) 417 00:16:00,164 --> 00:16:01,808 - Hey. 418 00:16:01,808 --> 00:16:03,558 - Wow, you actually made it. 419 00:16:03,558 --> 00:16:04,707 I'm impressed. 420 00:16:04,707 --> 00:16:05,974 How'd you get into this class? 421 00:16:05,974 --> 00:16:09,154 - I've got some dirt on the professor. 422 00:16:09,154 --> 00:16:11,709 - Notebook, textbook, pen? 423 00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:14,209 - You've got all those, right? 424 00:16:17,656 --> 00:16:20,144 - Thank you. - Some things never change. 425 00:16:20,144 --> 00:16:23,518 - Okay, we'll be starting with chapter four today; 426 00:16:23,518 --> 00:16:26,495 Self-organization principles of molecules 427 00:16:26,495 --> 00:16:28,218 under extreme pressure. 428 00:16:28,218 --> 00:16:29,575 - I'm glad you're here, John. 429 00:16:29,575 --> 00:16:31,064 It feels so familiar. 430 00:16:31,064 --> 00:16:33,069 - Well, happy to be entertaining you. 431 00:16:33,069 --> 00:16:35,012 We should get together though after this, you know, 432 00:16:35,012 --> 00:16:37,157 and just catch up and talk. 433 00:16:37,157 --> 00:16:38,030 - Yeah. - Yeah. 434 00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:38,863 - I'd like that. 435 00:16:38,863 --> 00:16:40,994 - When placed under intense pressure. 436 00:16:40,994 --> 00:16:43,668 These noble gases tend to act like 437 00:16:43,668 --> 00:16:46,251 what other elements Mr. Barden? 438 00:16:48,879 --> 00:16:49,731 - I'm sorry, sir, 439 00:16:49,731 --> 00:16:53,689 I'm actually still getting acclimated with the material. 440 00:16:53,689 --> 00:16:56,689 - Okay, but no excuses next class. 441 00:16:58,072 --> 00:17:00,655 (upbeat music) 442 00:17:06,873 --> 00:17:10,102 - Okay class, now everyone's needing to be getting settled. 443 00:17:10,102 --> 00:17:14,163 Now don't forget your papers is due next class, 444 00:17:14,163 --> 00:17:15,535 so don't forget 'em. 445 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:19,427 I aims to get 'em graded by the weekend. 446 00:17:19,427 --> 00:17:20,597 Oh good, you're here. 447 00:17:20,597 --> 00:17:22,608 See, I told you guys he'd show up. 448 00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:24,579 They were gonna leave. 449 00:17:24,579 --> 00:17:26,098 - Were some of y'all gonna leave? 450 00:17:26,098 --> 00:17:27,116 - Yeah, well some of them were, 451 00:17:27,116 --> 00:17:28,466 but I stopped them, so. 452 00:17:28,466 --> 00:17:29,883 - Thank you, son. 453 00:17:33,848 --> 00:17:34,816 - Smooth. 454 00:17:34,816 --> 00:17:35,904 - You're such a fucking prick, 455 00:17:35,904 --> 00:17:37,022 you know that? 456 00:17:37,022 --> 00:17:40,309 - Honey, I am the macaroni and the cheese. 457 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:43,288 (John laughs) 458 00:17:43,288 --> 00:17:46,455 (ambient piano music) 459 00:18:03,414 --> 00:18:05,057 - Hey, you made it. 460 00:18:05,057 --> 00:18:06,798 Let me get you one of these. 461 00:18:06,798 --> 00:18:08,533 - Wow! - Don't spill. 462 00:18:08,533 --> 00:18:10,499 - This place hasn't changed a bit. 463 00:18:10,499 --> 00:18:11,892 - Are you kidding me? 464 00:18:11,892 --> 00:18:14,058 This place used to be nasty. 465 00:18:14,058 --> 00:18:15,837 There used to be used condoms, 466 00:18:15,837 --> 00:18:18,703 and syringes, and hobos fucking over there and stuff. 467 00:18:18,703 --> 00:18:20,703 This place looks great now. 468 00:18:20,703 --> 00:18:22,867 - No, I don't remember all of that. 469 00:18:22,867 --> 00:18:25,982 I guess we didn't really make it out of the backseat. 470 00:18:25,982 --> 00:18:27,615 - This was kind of our spot, huh? 471 00:18:27,615 --> 00:18:29,548 - It's kinda everyone's spot. 472 00:18:29,548 --> 00:18:32,660 Half the girls I know were here at one point or another. 473 00:18:32,660 --> 00:18:34,085 - This place is kind of crazy like that. 474 00:18:34,085 --> 00:18:38,048 It's got some sorta wild sexual vibe about it, you know? 475 00:18:38,048 --> 00:18:39,251 You know the guys around town actually call it 476 00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:40,386 the pussy vortex. 477 00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:42,287 - That's disgusting. 478 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:43,970 - Okay, well, by other guys around town, 479 00:18:43,970 --> 00:18:46,303 I actually just mean, Steve. 480 00:18:47,788 --> 00:18:50,837 - Why do you still hang out with him? 481 00:18:50,837 --> 00:18:52,559 - I don't know, 482 00:18:52,559 --> 00:18:54,264 he's a good friend. 483 00:18:54,264 --> 00:18:57,014 He's there, he's there, you know. 484 00:18:57,894 --> 00:19:00,567 - That's something, I guess. 485 00:19:00,567 --> 00:19:04,759 I just thought you'd be doing something by now. 486 00:19:04,759 --> 00:19:06,794 You had a lot of plans, John. 487 00:19:06,794 --> 00:19:08,044 - Yeah, I know. 488 00:19:09,113 --> 00:19:09,946 I know. 489 00:19:10,824 --> 00:19:12,341 I'm on the radio now. 490 00:19:12,341 --> 00:19:14,999 It's the night shifts for 101.2. 491 00:19:14,999 --> 00:19:16,773 You remember? 492 00:19:16,773 --> 00:19:19,822 I get to play all the local band's new music 493 00:19:19,822 --> 00:19:21,334 that can't get on during the day, 494 00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:23,841 so I mean, that's cool. 495 00:19:23,841 --> 00:19:24,674 My boss hates me now, 496 00:19:24,674 --> 00:19:26,885 he's a fucking dick. 497 00:19:26,885 --> 00:19:29,136 He just thinks I'm some sort of a fuck up, you know? 498 00:19:29,136 --> 00:19:33,486 I may be a weirdo, yes, but I'm not a fuck up. 499 00:19:35,459 --> 00:19:37,692 I'm not where I want to be at all in my life, 500 00:19:37,692 --> 00:19:40,192 I still got ideas, just... 501 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:44,517 Forget it. 502 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,350 What about you, 503 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,019 what's new with you. 504 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:47,892 - I'm engaged. 505 00:19:47,892 --> 00:19:50,093 (record scratches) 506 00:19:50,093 --> 00:19:51,260 - Um, engaged? 507 00:19:52,744 --> 00:19:56,634 - Yep, he's a professor in New York city. 508 00:19:56,634 --> 00:19:58,441 We're not engaged, engaged. 509 00:19:58,441 --> 00:20:02,330 He still has to finalize his divorce first, but- 510 00:20:02,330 --> 00:20:04,853 - I'm sorry? - I know how it sounds. 511 00:20:04,853 --> 00:20:06,020 - Okay? - Okay. 512 00:20:06,886 --> 00:20:08,719 But this is different. 513 00:20:09,853 --> 00:20:11,270 He listens to me. 514 00:20:12,955 --> 00:20:14,835 - Look, all right. 515 00:20:14,835 --> 00:20:16,234 I'm happy you found someone. 516 00:20:16,234 --> 00:20:17,737 Okay, really, I am. 517 00:20:17,737 --> 00:20:18,570 - Thanks. 518 00:20:19,711 --> 00:20:22,005 Most of my friends aren't very understanding. 519 00:20:22,005 --> 00:20:24,252 - Ah, well, they're probably just thinking 520 00:20:24,252 --> 00:20:27,248 about what they want instead of what you want, you know. 521 00:20:27,248 --> 00:20:28,560 People can be like that sometimes. 522 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:29,393 - I know. 523 00:20:31,467 --> 00:20:33,728 Thanks for being supportive. 524 00:20:33,728 --> 00:20:35,395 - Of course, I'm happy for you, 525 00:20:35,395 --> 00:20:36,478 really, I am. 526 00:20:38,944 --> 00:20:40,740 - Oh, well I guess that's it. 527 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,236 You're just gonna have to move on, that sucks. 528 00:20:43,236 --> 00:20:45,049 There are other fish in the sea though. 529 00:20:45,049 --> 00:20:46,368 - So, shit, man. 530 00:20:46,368 --> 00:20:47,886 I'm still in the game. 531 00:20:47,886 --> 00:20:48,983 It's just the first quarter, 532 00:20:48,983 --> 00:20:51,247 and contrary to popular belief, 533 00:20:51,247 --> 00:20:52,944 I have endurance. 534 00:20:52,944 --> 00:20:54,456 - John, you need to forget 535 00:20:54,456 --> 00:20:56,619 about Nichole completely, all right? 536 00:20:56,619 --> 00:20:58,499 Get yourself a safe girl. 537 00:20:58,499 --> 00:20:59,647 - What like a high school girl? 538 00:20:59,647 --> 00:21:00,544 - Hey, you know what? 539 00:21:00,544 --> 00:21:02,892 Much like this mix of hops and heaven. 540 00:21:02,892 --> 00:21:05,077 It is an acquired taste. 541 00:21:05,077 --> 00:21:05,910 - I don't know, man, 542 00:21:05,910 --> 00:21:09,381 high school girls seem a little immature for my taste. 543 00:21:09,381 --> 00:21:10,853 - Oh no, oh no, Steve. 544 00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:11,686 Oh no, he's back. 545 00:21:11,686 --> 00:21:14,415 Oh, oh, oh, no, he's attacking me Steve. 546 00:21:14,415 --> 00:21:16,336 Steve, Steve, help me, Steve. 547 00:21:16,336 --> 00:21:18,057 Oh, oh, no! 548 00:21:18,057 --> 00:21:20,640 (upbeat music) 549 00:21:36,096 --> 00:21:36,929 Fuck! 550 00:21:36,929 --> 00:21:37,874 - Jenga, Bitch! 551 00:21:37,874 --> 00:21:40,156 - Oh, don't pretend you didn't like that. 552 00:21:40,156 --> 00:21:42,424 - Asshole. - Exactly. 553 00:21:42,424 --> 00:21:45,529 Ready to get to your sociology on? 554 00:21:45,529 --> 00:21:46,943 You wrote your paper? 555 00:21:46,943 --> 00:21:48,214 - Not even a little bit. 556 00:21:48,214 --> 00:21:49,279 - You? 557 00:21:49,279 --> 00:21:51,362 - Who are you talking to? 558 00:21:57,181 --> 00:21:58,983 Hi, yes, Professor Robertson. 559 00:21:58,983 --> 00:22:02,479 This is Steve Dillard from class. 560 00:22:02,479 --> 00:22:04,437 No, sir, you don't teach trigonometry. 561 00:22:04,437 --> 00:22:06,864 Your sociology 101 class. 562 00:22:06,864 --> 00:22:09,458 Yeah, yeah, the one that starts in 20 minutes. 563 00:22:09,458 --> 00:22:10,891 Yeah, I was just calling to let you know 564 00:22:10,891 --> 00:22:14,041 that John Barden and I are not gonna be, 565 00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:15,262 John Barden. 566 00:22:15,262 --> 00:22:16,872 Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's in the class too, 567 00:22:16,872 --> 00:22:18,958 we're both in the class. 568 00:22:18,958 --> 00:22:19,820 I was just calling to let you know 569 00:22:19,820 --> 00:22:21,653 that our grandma died. 570 00:22:22,958 --> 00:22:26,112 So we aren't gonna be able to make it. 571 00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:27,638 Yes, yes, absolutely, sir, 572 00:22:27,638 --> 00:22:29,027 we will get those papers e-mailed 573 00:22:29,027 --> 00:22:31,415 to you the second, the funeral ends. 574 00:22:31,415 --> 00:22:34,457 Thank you so much, Professor Robertson. 575 00:22:34,457 --> 00:22:37,115 - (claps) Well done, Ferris. 576 00:22:37,115 --> 00:22:38,446 Really, good job. 577 00:22:38,446 --> 00:22:40,167 What about my chemistry class? 578 00:22:40,167 --> 00:22:42,161 - I think I have a blank death certificate 579 00:22:42,161 --> 00:22:43,546 you can borrow if you want. 580 00:22:43,546 --> 00:22:45,372 What are you just printing $50 bills 581 00:22:45,372 --> 00:22:48,022 in the basement or something? 582 00:22:48,022 --> 00:22:51,105 - Oh John, you have so much to learn. 583 00:22:54,554 --> 00:22:55,908 - Okay, that was cool. 584 00:22:55,908 --> 00:22:56,966 - Yeah, right. - That was cool. 585 00:22:56,966 --> 00:22:59,319 - I didn't even think it was gonna happen like that. 586 00:22:59,319 --> 00:23:00,419 It just kind of did. 587 00:23:00,419 --> 00:23:03,002 (upbeat music) 588 00:23:22,671 --> 00:23:27,671 - And so it was the peer pressure from the deviant apes 589 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:32,032 that made the good apes start smoking the leaves. 590 00:23:32,032 --> 00:23:35,832 And I don't have to tell you who that precipitated 591 00:23:35,832 --> 00:23:37,499 the human evolution. 592 00:23:38,449 --> 00:23:42,958 (sighs) Guys, you is late again. 593 00:23:42,958 --> 00:23:45,746 What am I gonna do with you? 594 00:23:45,746 --> 00:23:46,579 - Yeah, sorry. 595 00:23:46,579 --> 00:23:49,079 Hey, did you grade our papers? 596 00:23:52,519 --> 00:23:55,491 - Well, apparently you boys never turned them in. 597 00:23:55,491 --> 00:23:57,783 - Whoa, hey, whoa, well, we called you remember? 598 00:23:57,783 --> 00:24:00,107 Dead grandma? Grandma's dead. 599 00:24:00,107 --> 00:24:02,687 - Well, wait, wait, wait, wait, you know, 600 00:24:02,687 --> 00:24:04,972 I think I do remember something about that. 601 00:24:04,972 --> 00:24:07,378 Yeah, it's coming back to me. 602 00:24:07,378 --> 00:24:08,727 - Yeah, yeah, we e-mailed them. 603 00:24:08,727 --> 00:24:10,887 It says right here you got 'em. 604 00:24:10,887 --> 00:24:12,924 - I'm sure they're down in my office. 605 00:24:12,924 --> 00:24:14,684 After class, meet down in my office, 606 00:24:14,684 --> 00:24:16,013 and we'll go over all of this, 607 00:24:16,013 --> 00:24:17,976 we'll get it squared away. - Yeah. 608 00:24:17,976 --> 00:24:18,969 - Thank you, boys. 609 00:24:18,969 --> 00:24:19,958 (both chuckling) 610 00:24:19,958 --> 00:24:20,791 - Wow! 611 00:24:20,791 --> 00:24:24,146 - So let's get back now to our lesson. 612 00:24:24,146 --> 00:24:25,696 You say it's evolution. 613 00:24:25,696 --> 00:24:27,478 Some say it's evolution. 614 00:24:27,478 --> 00:24:29,735 I just say it's lution. 615 00:24:29,735 --> 00:24:31,019 Doesn't matter. 616 00:24:31,019 --> 00:24:32,506 Lution is lution. 617 00:24:32,506 --> 00:24:34,117 - Sort of one of going that night, 618 00:24:34,117 --> 00:24:36,327 but then I found out that they brought in like a midget, 619 00:24:36,327 --> 00:24:39,322 and a flame thrower and it was so hot. 620 00:24:39,322 --> 00:24:40,239 - Oh! - Wow! 621 00:24:41,743 --> 00:24:43,772 - What the fuck? - Oh! 622 00:24:43,772 --> 00:24:44,605 - Oh hey. - Oh, wait, wait, 623 00:24:44,605 --> 00:24:45,686 what the hell are you guys doing here? 624 00:24:45,686 --> 00:24:47,640 Shouldn't you be playing like Frogger or something? 625 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:51,872 - Oh, we're looking for the psychology department. 626 00:24:51,872 --> 00:24:53,275 - Yeah, yeah, they're paying five bucks 627 00:24:53,275 --> 00:24:54,957 for some negative reinforcement testing, 628 00:24:54,957 --> 00:24:56,343 and oh, we're hungry. 629 00:24:56,343 --> 00:24:57,529 - $5 foot long day. 630 00:24:57,529 --> 00:24:59,718 - Mm, $5 foot long. 631 00:24:59,718 --> 00:25:01,541 - You know, all right, whatever, guys. 632 00:25:01,541 --> 00:25:03,181 I'll see you back at my house 633 00:25:03,181 --> 00:25:04,223 - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. 634 00:25:04,223 --> 00:25:05,056 - Yeah, awesome. 635 00:25:05,056 --> 00:25:06,200 All right, so shoo! 636 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:07,200 - Thank you. 637 00:25:09,041 --> 00:25:10,930 - You know I didn't know their asses weren't cemented 638 00:25:10,930 --> 00:25:11,946 to your couch cushion, 639 00:25:11,946 --> 00:25:14,320 so that's pretty weird. 640 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:15,618 (John knocks) 641 00:25:15,618 --> 00:25:17,419 - Who's there? 642 00:25:17,419 --> 00:25:18,675 - John. - Come in. 643 00:25:18,675 --> 00:25:20,171 - Steve. - Well, come in. 644 00:25:20,171 --> 00:25:21,842 Yeah, it's like the joke, knock, knock, 645 00:25:21,842 --> 00:25:23,402 and then I said who's there. 646 00:25:23,402 --> 00:25:24,235 - Oh! - Oh. 647 00:25:26,347 --> 00:25:28,734 - Hi, what can I do you for? 648 00:25:28,734 --> 00:25:31,155 - Did you find our papers yet? 649 00:25:31,155 --> 00:25:32,413 - No. 650 00:25:32,413 --> 00:25:36,156 Good, I know it is here somewhere. 651 00:25:36,156 --> 00:25:36,989 I had it. 652 00:25:36,989 --> 00:25:38,705 It's messy here. 653 00:25:40,321 --> 00:25:43,746 - Do you need us to resend them? 654 00:25:43,746 --> 00:25:45,989 - No, no, no, no, this is my fault. 655 00:25:45,989 --> 00:25:47,189 This is all my fault. 656 00:25:47,189 --> 00:25:50,058 It is, I've been busy and you know, 657 00:25:50,058 --> 00:25:51,320 and you, I remember yours, 658 00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:52,193 it was a good paper, 659 00:25:52,193 --> 00:25:53,981 you did a good job, 660 00:25:53,981 --> 00:25:55,676 a very good job. 661 00:25:55,676 --> 00:25:56,625 You know what? 662 00:25:56,625 --> 00:25:58,856 Let's just cut to the otters head, 663 00:25:58,856 --> 00:26:00,523 and what do you say? 664 00:26:03,564 --> 00:26:05,870 We'll give you a 98. 665 00:26:05,870 --> 00:26:06,787 98 for you, 666 00:26:07,723 --> 00:26:10,229 and for you a 98, right? 667 00:26:10,229 --> 00:26:12,280 - Oh no, no, no, mine wasn't as good as his. 668 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,150 - You're right, 81, 81. 669 00:26:14,150 --> 00:26:14,985 We'll just do that, 670 00:26:14,985 --> 00:26:15,818 that's a B, 671 00:26:15,818 --> 00:26:16,651 and B is good. 672 00:26:16,651 --> 00:26:17,484 I like B. 673 00:26:18,822 --> 00:26:20,541 Well, you know, I do appreciate your waiting, 674 00:26:20,541 --> 00:26:22,547 and again, I do apologize for this. 675 00:26:22,547 --> 00:26:24,336 Sometimes, you know, this comes up, 676 00:26:24,336 --> 00:26:26,617 and it's piling up higher and higher, 677 00:26:26,617 --> 00:26:29,542 and I know that somewhere inside here I have, 678 00:26:29,542 --> 00:26:31,146 I know it's here, but. 679 00:26:31,146 --> 00:26:31,979 - No, no, no, no. 680 00:26:31,979 --> 00:26:33,573 Hey, hey, our grandma's shouldn't have died. 681 00:26:33,573 --> 00:26:35,582 - No, she shouldn't have. - What an idiot, right? 682 00:26:35,582 --> 00:26:37,382 - You know, I just, you know, you can't, 683 00:26:37,382 --> 00:26:38,419 it's not her fault, 684 00:26:38,419 --> 00:26:40,387 but it kinda is. - A little, a little. 685 00:26:40,387 --> 00:26:41,600 - They can plan a little better. 686 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:42,633 Why don't you get out of here now? 687 00:26:42,633 --> 00:26:44,685 Because I got some lots of stuff to do, 688 00:26:44,685 --> 00:26:46,521 and I gotta find another paper. 689 00:26:46,521 --> 00:26:47,377 - Absolutely. - Yeah. 690 00:26:47,377 --> 00:26:48,372 - All right, and you take care now. 691 00:26:48,372 --> 00:26:51,076 Whoa, one of you guys dropped a deuce or something? 692 00:26:51,076 --> 00:26:55,752 - (laughs) and ah, I win. - What? 693 00:26:55,752 --> 00:26:57,225 - I am the best. - Fucking cheater, 694 00:26:57,225 --> 00:26:58,094 that's what you are. 695 00:26:58,094 --> 00:27:00,106 - I get the mozzarella stick here. 696 00:27:00,106 --> 00:27:01,618 - Oh, bullshit. 697 00:27:01,618 --> 00:27:02,955 Pick up a joy and let's go again. 698 00:27:02,955 --> 00:27:04,556 - Smells like victory. - Again. 699 00:27:04,556 --> 00:27:05,595 - Run it back! 700 00:27:05,595 --> 00:27:08,178 (upbeat music) 701 00:27:09,449 --> 00:27:11,620 - Okay, so when a new movie comes in, 702 00:27:11,620 --> 00:27:13,630 it comes in on one of these hard drives. 703 00:27:13,630 --> 00:27:14,639 You know, it's not like the old days 704 00:27:14,639 --> 00:27:16,708 where it came in on multiple reels, 705 00:27:16,708 --> 00:27:19,266 you had to splice the film together. 706 00:27:19,266 --> 00:27:20,410 Okay, whatever. 707 00:27:20,410 --> 00:27:22,635 So anyways, when a new movie comes in, 708 00:27:22,635 --> 00:27:23,736 you come over here, 709 00:27:23,736 --> 00:27:26,014 take out the old hard drive, 710 00:27:26,014 --> 00:27:28,261 put the new one in, 711 00:27:28,261 --> 00:27:29,594 and slide it in. 712 00:27:31,723 --> 00:27:32,893 - I can't see. 713 00:27:32,893 --> 00:27:35,950 Oh, all right, well, come over this way. 714 00:27:35,950 --> 00:27:38,950 (sensual music) 715 00:27:40,774 --> 00:27:44,379 - Yeah, so you, sorry, where was I? 716 00:27:44,379 --> 00:27:46,480 - Sliding it in. 717 00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:47,540 - What? 718 00:27:47,540 --> 00:27:49,485 - The hard drive. 719 00:27:49,485 --> 00:27:50,652 Oh, all right. 720 00:27:53,286 --> 00:27:54,772 I'm gonna go to the bathroom. 721 00:27:54,772 --> 00:27:57,355 (sensual music) 722 00:28:02,344 --> 00:28:03,407 - Frank, get off of him, dude. 723 00:28:03,407 --> 00:28:06,021 - Oh my God, I think my fucking spleen just ruptured. 724 00:28:06,021 --> 00:28:06,938 - Oh, baby. 725 00:28:08,058 --> 00:28:10,562 - Well, anyway I am getting the 'cuda back tomorrow. 726 00:28:10,562 --> 00:28:11,447 - No shit! 727 00:28:11,447 --> 00:28:12,280 - Yeah. - It's about time, man. 728 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:13,113 - I know you're telling me, 729 00:28:13,113 --> 00:28:15,880 I'm about to be cruising like all day on Monday. 730 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:16,991 - Wait, what's Monday? 731 00:28:16,991 --> 00:28:18,121 Is it Arbor day? 732 00:28:18,121 --> 00:28:19,986 - Monday, my friend is what in high school is referred 733 00:28:19,986 --> 00:28:21,796 to as a half day, 734 00:28:21,796 --> 00:28:23,019 so it'd be sacrilege not 735 00:28:23,019 --> 00:28:25,077 to take advantage of that, right? 736 00:28:25,077 --> 00:28:26,274 - What about the, 737 00:28:26,274 --> 00:28:27,671 what's her name, 738 00:28:27,671 --> 00:28:29,252 the new hottie at work? 739 00:28:29,252 --> 00:28:30,328 - Oh yeah, no, I don't know 740 00:28:30,328 --> 00:28:32,473 if that one's gonna work out this time. 741 00:28:32,473 --> 00:28:33,948 - It's never stopped you before. 742 00:28:33,948 --> 00:28:35,379 - Yeah, but I keep getting older, okay? 743 00:28:35,379 --> 00:28:37,483 I'm gonna get caught pretty soon. 744 00:28:37,483 --> 00:28:38,625 - So don't do it. 745 00:28:38,625 --> 00:28:40,647 - Yeah, okay, you've obviously never seen 746 00:28:40,647 --> 00:28:41,836 this chick before, all right? 747 00:28:41,836 --> 00:28:44,130 You don't say no to a girl like this. 748 00:28:44,130 --> 00:28:45,630 - Ah, you don't. 749 00:28:45,630 --> 00:28:46,463 (John laughs) 750 00:28:46,463 --> 00:28:48,552 - All right, yeah, whatever, I don't. 751 00:28:48,552 --> 00:28:51,754 She's not like your average high school girl, you know? 752 00:28:51,754 --> 00:28:54,726 - What is she advanced? - Homeschooled? 753 00:28:54,726 --> 00:28:56,010 - No, she's in high school. 754 00:28:56,010 --> 00:28:57,510 I just mean she's, 755 00:28:58,448 --> 00:29:00,612 fuck, I don't know, she's different, all right? 756 00:29:00,612 --> 00:29:02,868 - But isn't that what you said about Sarah? 757 00:29:02,868 --> 00:29:04,253 - Yeah, I did say that about Sarah, 758 00:29:04,253 --> 00:29:07,616 but what I met with Sarah's a fucking psychopath, okay? 759 00:29:07,616 --> 00:29:09,635 - Didn't you date her for like six months? 760 00:29:09,635 --> 00:29:10,569 - Yeah. - Yeah, I did, 761 00:29:10,569 --> 00:29:12,810 and it was the worst six months of my life actually. 762 00:29:12,810 --> 00:29:14,092 It was the best sex though, 763 00:29:14,092 --> 00:29:16,831 so I guess in retrospect, it's kinda. 764 00:29:16,831 --> 00:29:19,056 - Whatever happened with that? 765 00:29:19,056 --> 00:29:20,080 - She turned 18. 766 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:21,114 I had to cut her loose. 767 00:29:21,114 --> 00:29:23,303 - For Christ's sake, would you just snap the freaking ball? 768 00:29:23,303 --> 00:29:24,415 - All right. - Oh, somebody wants 769 00:29:24,415 --> 00:29:26,353 to get to get scored on. 770 00:29:26,353 --> 00:29:27,760 - Okay, okay, I'm coming for you. 771 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:29,315 - Yeah. 772 00:29:29,315 --> 00:29:30,148 - Hut! 773 00:29:31,324 --> 00:29:32,490 Oh, there he is. 774 00:29:32,490 --> 00:29:34,078 Oh drop. 775 00:29:34,078 --> 00:29:35,248 - Through the trees! - Yes! 776 00:29:35,248 --> 00:29:36,609 - In your face, Bob. 777 00:29:36,609 --> 00:29:37,442 Touch down. 778 00:29:37,442 --> 00:29:38,702 - Still got it. 779 00:29:38,702 --> 00:29:40,331 Yeah, you saw that. 780 00:29:40,331 --> 00:29:42,914 (upbeat music) 781 00:29:43,993 --> 00:29:46,410 (indistinct) 782 00:29:48,728 --> 00:29:50,089 - [Professor] There will be previously seen 783 00:29:50,089 --> 00:29:52,288 in their individual elements 784 00:29:52,288 --> 00:29:56,538 which reaction means (indistinct). 785 00:29:57,968 --> 00:29:58,801 - John? 786 00:30:00,662 --> 00:30:02,579 - An answer Mr. Barden. 787 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:04,513 - Seven. 788 00:30:05,439 --> 00:30:06,955 - Yeah, very good. 789 00:30:06,955 --> 00:30:10,525 In this way conversion of this group introduced is stable. 790 00:30:10,525 --> 00:30:14,275 (music drowns out professor) 791 00:30:23,862 --> 00:30:26,779 (triumphant music) 792 00:30:35,655 --> 00:30:38,655 (garage door opens) 793 00:30:46,417 --> 00:30:48,834 (door opens) 794 00:30:53,359 --> 00:30:54,192 - Is he here? 795 00:30:54,192 --> 00:30:55,196 - Yeah, yeah, he's upfront, 796 00:30:55,196 --> 00:30:56,728 and he didn't take his pills today. 797 00:30:56,728 --> 00:30:58,537 - Oh, this is gonna be so ripe. 798 00:30:58,537 --> 00:31:00,067 - Yeah, no shit, dude. 799 00:31:00,067 --> 00:31:01,567 Oh, here he comes. 800 00:31:04,868 --> 00:31:06,741 - Oh, good morning, class. 801 00:31:06,741 --> 00:31:10,629 - [All] Good morning Professor Robertson. 802 00:31:10,629 --> 00:31:11,462 - Yeah. 803 00:31:12,835 --> 00:31:17,295 Today, we needs to talk about the impact of marriage 804 00:31:17,295 --> 00:31:18,884 in our social system. 805 00:31:18,884 --> 00:31:20,938 Before we's get started, 806 00:31:20,938 --> 00:31:24,021 anyone have any questions or comments. 807 00:31:24,918 --> 00:31:26,085 - Yes, Daniel. 808 00:31:28,047 --> 00:31:31,097 - Sure, marriage is good. 809 00:31:32,962 --> 00:31:34,982 - Well, yes it is. 810 00:31:34,982 --> 00:31:37,784 Thank you for participating. 811 00:31:37,784 --> 00:31:41,523 Marriage is the coming of two people in a relationship 812 00:31:41,523 --> 00:31:42,685 in a social setting, 813 00:31:42,685 --> 00:31:45,563 or three or four people, depending on where you live, 814 00:31:45,563 --> 00:31:49,646 like if you live near Utah or something like that 815 00:31:50,833 --> 00:31:52,660 then it's a whole different story, 816 00:31:52,660 --> 00:31:55,403 but a whole lot more fun. 817 00:31:55,403 --> 00:31:56,653 Let me explain. 818 00:31:58,222 --> 00:32:01,889 Does anyone here know someone who's married? 819 00:32:03,556 --> 00:32:05,507 Good, good, good, good. 820 00:32:05,507 --> 00:32:06,685 See, in marriage though, 821 00:32:06,685 --> 00:32:08,426 you think you know what it's about, 822 00:32:08,426 --> 00:32:09,995 you do not. 823 00:32:09,995 --> 00:32:12,014 'Cause you see marriage, 824 00:32:12,014 --> 00:32:13,300 it's a scam. 825 00:32:13,300 --> 00:32:15,639 It's a scam from big business just to get people 826 00:32:15,639 --> 00:32:18,371 to start marriaging together. 827 00:32:18,371 --> 00:32:20,267 It's really to get people to spend money. 828 00:32:20,267 --> 00:32:21,294 It's a commercial thing. 829 00:32:21,294 --> 00:32:25,544 It really example, again, i.e. dot, dot, dot, colon. 830 00:32:26,755 --> 00:32:27,977 You would buy a towel, 831 00:32:27,977 --> 00:32:29,317 then you'd buy towels, 832 00:32:29,317 --> 00:32:31,673 and now you buy his and hers towels, 833 00:32:31,673 --> 00:32:33,109 so that you've got to spend more money, 834 00:32:33,109 --> 00:32:35,256 and then it just gets a little bit crazy, doesn't it? 835 00:32:35,256 --> 00:32:36,509 I think it does, 836 00:32:36,509 --> 00:32:37,759 It really does. 837 00:32:39,865 --> 00:32:44,282 - Another thing, who here has ever seen a phone book? 838 00:32:45,831 --> 00:32:46,969 Okay, all right. 839 00:32:46,969 --> 00:32:49,845 Now in the phone book, you'll notice 840 00:32:49,845 --> 00:32:51,064 that you've got like Smith, 841 00:32:51,064 --> 00:32:52,487 and the names in the phone book, 842 00:32:52,487 --> 00:32:53,434 all different kinds of names, 843 00:32:53,434 --> 00:32:54,267 and it's Smith, 844 00:32:54,267 --> 00:32:55,100 and then you'd get Jones, 845 00:32:55,100 --> 00:32:56,390 and of course not on the same page, 846 00:32:56,390 --> 00:32:58,993 'cause that would either be a very, very small town 847 00:32:58,993 --> 00:33:00,099 which isn't a bad thing, 848 00:33:00,099 --> 00:33:01,618 'cause I miss mine. 849 00:33:01,618 --> 00:33:04,077 But also you think about it, 850 00:33:04,077 --> 00:33:05,666 and it would be Smith Jones, 851 00:33:05,666 --> 00:33:09,535 and then they would have a hyphen Smith-Jones, 852 00:33:09,535 --> 00:33:11,380 'cause people get married and wanna keep their names, 853 00:33:11,380 --> 00:33:13,018 but then it's just one name, 854 00:33:13,018 --> 00:33:14,926 and then it just goes by Jones. 855 00:33:14,926 --> 00:33:15,759 You see what I'm, 856 00:33:15,759 --> 00:33:18,592 do you understand what I'm saying? 857 00:33:20,131 --> 00:33:22,714 Does anyone have any questions? 858 00:33:23,885 --> 00:33:25,857 - Gregory, yes. 859 00:33:25,857 --> 00:33:27,342 - I'm not in this class. 860 00:33:27,342 --> 00:33:28,425 - You is now. 861 00:33:29,828 --> 00:33:32,085 - I have an unrelated question. 862 00:33:32,085 --> 00:33:34,369 - There is no unrelated questions 863 00:33:34,369 --> 00:33:36,705 when it comes to sociology. 864 00:33:36,705 --> 00:33:39,383 - Fantastic, 'cause I was wondering 865 00:33:39,383 --> 00:33:41,852 what the fuck is wrong with you? 866 00:33:41,852 --> 00:33:45,438 Do you have any idea what you're talking about? 867 00:33:45,438 --> 00:33:48,650 - That would really be two questions. 868 00:33:48,650 --> 00:33:50,831 - Okay, hello people, 869 00:33:50,831 --> 00:33:52,944 are you buying this bullshit? 870 00:33:52,944 --> 00:33:56,424 Go home, watch cartoons or something, 871 00:33:56,424 --> 00:33:57,811 anything but this. 872 00:33:57,811 --> 00:33:58,644 Jesus! 873 00:34:00,758 --> 00:34:03,175 (door opens) 874 00:34:04,105 --> 00:34:08,480 - And that class is why some people will never get married, 875 00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,032 'cause it's an anger issue. 876 00:34:10,032 --> 00:34:11,804 It's an anger issue. 877 00:34:11,804 --> 00:34:13,127 It is a bad thing. 878 00:34:13,127 --> 00:34:15,212 Does anyone else have any other questions? 879 00:34:15,212 --> 00:34:17,281 (upbeat music) 880 00:34:17,281 --> 00:34:18,114 - I don't know, 881 00:34:18,114 --> 00:34:19,488 it was just kinda sad really. 882 00:34:19,488 --> 00:34:20,754 - Robertson just like brushed it off. 883 00:34:20,754 --> 00:34:22,150 He probably didn't even hear it. 884 00:34:22,150 --> 00:34:25,017 - Yeah, I guess it helps to be off planet anyways. 885 00:34:25,017 --> 00:34:26,872 - I wonder what it's like to be off planet. 886 00:34:26,872 --> 00:34:28,858 - I always thought it would be like "Star Wars?" 887 00:34:28,858 --> 00:34:30,210 But that takes place in the past, so- 888 00:34:30,210 --> 00:34:31,630 - As long as it's not like Aliens 889 00:34:31,630 --> 00:34:32,699 that's all I care about. 890 00:34:32,699 --> 00:34:34,104 (upbeat music) 891 00:34:34,104 --> 00:34:35,619 So you and new girl going out tonight? 892 00:34:35,619 --> 00:34:37,174 - Yeah, second date. 893 00:34:37,174 --> 00:34:38,537 I better get a piece of ass this time, man. 894 00:34:38,537 --> 00:34:41,114 She's such a goddamn cock tease. 895 00:34:41,114 --> 00:34:43,722 - Whoa, okay, maybe she's just a virgin though. 896 00:34:43,722 --> 00:34:44,585 - No, there's no way, 897 00:34:44,585 --> 00:34:46,628 she's way too hot for that. 898 00:34:46,628 --> 00:34:48,296 Besides I swore off virgins. 899 00:34:48,296 --> 00:34:50,188 - It seems awfully out of character for you. 900 00:34:50,188 --> 00:34:51,021 - No, no, no, no, no, 901 00:34:51,021 --> 00:34:53,311 look there's like an associated smell 902 00:34:53,311 --> 00:34:55,535 with the taking of a girl's virginity. 903 00:34:55,535 --> 00:34:57,891 Yeah, it's disgusting you can't get it out of the car. 904 00:34:57,891 --> 00:34:59,906 I'm not putting the 'cuda through that shit again. 905 00:34:59,906 --> 00:35:01,588 - That's messed up dude. 906 00:35:01,588 --> 00:35:02,770 - Anyways I have a new rule about that, 907 00:35:02,770 --> 00:35:04,586 I wait for somebody else to break them in first, 908 00:35:04,586 --> 00:35:08,002 you know, a boyfriend, uncle, whenever. 909 00:35:08,002 --> 00:35:09,324 - You got fucking problems, man. 910 00:35:09,324 --> 00:35:10,574 - Yes, I do. 911 00:35:10,574 --> 00:35:12,190 - So what are you coming over? 912 00:35:12,190 --> 00:35:13,260 - Yeah, where else would I go? 913 00:35:13,260 --> 00:35:15,990 - I don't know, home, library, playground. 914 00:35:15,990 --> 00:35:18,420 We all know how Steve likes the playgrounds. 915 00:35:18,420 --> 00:35:21,003 (upbeat music) 916 00:35:25,849 --> 00:35:28,682 (car engine revs) 917 00:35:45,313 --> 00:35:48,313 (sensual music) 918 00:36:04,838 --> 00:36:06,346 (van engine revs) 919 00:36:06,346 --> 00:36:08,929 (upbeat music) 920 00:37:12,304 --> 00:37:14,064 - And I totally didn't expect this to happen, 921 00:37:14,064 --> 00:37:17,314 I mean, he's still married to his wife. 922 00:37:18,536 --> 00:37:20,322 She just thinks that he's gonna like leave his family 923 00:37:20,322 --> 00:37:22,155 and run away with her. 924 00:37:23,378 --> 00:37:25,071 How do I even spin that? 925 00:37:25,071 --> 00:37:26,628 - It's gotta be tough. 926 00:37:26,628 --> 00:37:28,300 Girls who go for older guys, 927 00:37:28,300 --> 00:37:30,100 they don't like to come back. 928 00:37:30,100 --> 00:37:32,897 - What exactly do you wanna do here? 929 00:37:32,897 --> 00:37:34,974 - I just want them out of the way out of the way. 930 00:37:34,974 --> 00:37:38,226 - Out of the way or out of the way? 931 00:37:38,226 --> 00:37:41,314 - Come on, man, we don't have to kill him. 932 00:37:41,314 --> 00:37:42,598 Do we? 933 00:37:42,598 --> 00:37:43,431 - No. 934 00:37:44,637 --> 00:37:47,780 No, no, you bunch of idiots, no, okay, 935 00:37:47,780 --> 00:37:49,872 but he is pissing me off, all right? 936 00:37:49,872 --> 00:37:51,296 I mean, he's just using her, 937 00:37:51,296 --> 00:37:53,640 and she just has no idea. 938 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:54,473 - We could scare him off, 939 00:37:54,473 --> 00:37:56,316 rough him up a little bit. 940 00:37:56,316 --> 00:37:57,794 - Yeah, but then what if it doesn't hold, 941 00:37:57,794 --> 00:38:00,005 and he sticks around anyway. 942 00:38:00,005 --> 00:38:02,050 - Could rough her up a little bit. 943 00:38:02,050 --> 00:38:03,539 - No. 944 00:38:03,539 --> 00:38:05,208 - We can take pictures of him with a chick. 945 00:38:05,208 --> 00:38:06,041 - With Nichole. 946 00:38:06,041 --> 00:38:07,704 - Yeah, and then send to his wife, 947 00:38:07,704 --> 00:38:09,238 and then he has to choose upfront. 948 00:38:09,238 --> 00:38:10,634 - Yeah, but then when if he chooses Nichole, 949 00:38:10,634 --> 00:38:13,949 and I'm even more screwed than I was at first. 950 00:38:13,949 --> 00:38:17,789 - Okay, okay, so find some ho-bag, 951 00:38:17,789 --> 00:38:20,537 you know, some other chick to sleep with him. 952 00:38:20,537 --> 00:38:22,979 - You're telling me that you're planning to get me laid is 953 00:38:22,979 --> 00:38:26,932 to hire some whore to have sex with somebody else. 954 00:38:26,932 --> 00:38:27,988 - Yes. 955 00:38:27,988 --> 00:38:29,766 - Not your best plan. 956 00:38:29,766 --> 00:38:31,288 - Man, forget all that. 957 00:38:31,288 --> 00:38:34,170 This type of guy is probably a real scumbag already. 958 00:38:34,170 --> 00:38:35,021 Nichole is a bright girl, 959 00:38:35,021 --> 00:38:36,614 she'll come around eventually. 960 00:38:36,614 --> 00:38:38,229 - So what, like I just do nothing? 961 00:38:38,229 --> 00:38:40,787 - No, no, no, keep going after her, 962 00:38:40,787 --> 00:38:42,996 but there's no reason to cock block this guy, 963 00:38:42,996 --> 00:38:45,418 he'll end up fucking himself eventually. 964 00:38:45,418 --> 00:38:46,251 - I don't know, man, 965 00:38:46,251 --> 00:38:48,777 it just doesn't seem like enough, you know? 966 00:38:48,777 --> 00:38:51,418 - Okay, well, what other choice do you have? 967 00:38:51,418 --> 00:38:53,155 - None, okay, none, fine. 968 00:38:53,155 --> 00:38:54,460 Fuck you guys, okay. 969 00:38:54,460 --> 00:38:56,674 Are you guys coming over or what? 970 00:38:56,674 --> 00:38:57,811 - Is your mom gonna be there? 971 00:38:57,811 --> 00:38:59,309 - No, she's been gone all summer, man, 972 00:38:59,309 --> 00:39:01,368 but she made lasagna, 973 00:39:01,368 --> 00:39:02,421 four months ago, 974 00:39:02,421 --> 00:39:03,254 it's in the freezer, 975 00:39:03,254 --> 00:39:04,749 and I'ma heat that shit up. 976 00:39:04,749 --> 00:39:05,812 - [Frank] Still good. 977 00:39:05,812 --> 00:39:08,395 (upbeat music) 978 00:39:15,570 --> 00:39:16,737 - Hello? - Hey. 979 00:39:17,632 --> 00:39:20,162 - Who's this? - It's John. 980 00:39:20,162 --> 00:39:23,337 You told me to call. - Oh, hi. 981 00:39:25,790 --> 00:39:26,830 - Something wrong? 982 00:39:26,830 --> 00:39:29,495 You were supposed to go to New York this weekend, right? 983 00:39:29,495 --> 00:39:33,059 - [Nichole] Nigel says he's too busy to see me, prick. 984 00:39:33,059 --> 00:39:36,694 I think he's seeing his wife behind my back. 985 00:39:36,694 --> 00:39:38,111 - That's too bad. 986 00:39:40,179 --> 00:39:41,709 - [Nichole] We should get together. 987 00:39:41,709 --> 00:39:43,643 Dinner this weekend? 988 00:39:43,643 --> 00:39:46,562 - Yeah, sure. - Sounds great. 989 00:39:46,562 --> 00:39:47,909 Make some plans and call me. 990 00:39:47,909 --> 00:39:48,770 - Yeah, for sure. 991 00:39:48,770 --> 00:39:49,603 I will do. 992 00:39:50,803 --> 00:39:54,257 (John chuckles) 993 00:39:54,257 --> 00:39:55,507 Woo, all right! 994 00:40:00,180 --> 00:40:01,623 - [Steve] How was your call? 995 00:40:01,623 --> 00:40:03,884 - Going out with Nichole this weekend. 996 00:40:03,884 --> 00:40:06,945 Dinner. - Nice man, good luck. 997 00:40:06,945 --> 00:40:09,679 - You're pissing in your own face, man. 998 00:40:09,679 --> 00:40:11,766 - What about the fiancé? 999 00:40:11,766 --> 00:40:14,393 - Still with his wife. 1000 00:40:14,393 --> 00:40:15,982 - Good, very stable. 1001 00:40:15,982 --> 00:40:18,739 - Look who is talking, man. 1002 00:40:18,739 --> 00:40:21,542 - That actually reminds me, ah, (blows raspberries). 1003 00:40:21,542 --> 00:40:22,599 (Frank and Bob laugh) 1004 00:40:22,599 --> 00:40:23,921 - [John] Shut up. 1005 00:40:23,921 --> 00:40:26,338 (upbeat music) 1006 00:40:28,298 --> 00:40:29,765 - I gotta manscape. 1007 00:40:29,765 --> 00:40:31,071 Got a date later. 1008 00:40:31,071 --> 00:40:32,725 - Yeah, what's his name? 1009 00:40:32,725 --> 00:40:33,558 - Lucy. 1010 00:40:34,938 --> 00:40:36,844 - Isn't that your mom's name? 1011 00:40:36,844 --> 00:40:38,383 - It's okay, my mom's not in high school. 1012 00:40:38,383 --> 00:40:40,533 (John laughs) 1013 00:40:40,533 --> 00:40:41,584 - That's really fucking funny, dude. 1014 00:40:41,584 --> 00:40:44,001 (all laugh) 1015 00:40:46,902 --> 00:40:49,319 (beer pours) 1016 00:40:52,242 --> 00:40:55,097 - Wow, there's my little heartbreaker. 1017 00:40:55,097 --> 00:40:58,707 Hey, come on and give your uncle a little kiss now, come on. 1018 00:40:58,707 --> 00:40:59,715 (Zeke and Shelly laughing) 1019 00:40:59,715 --> 00:41:02,383 - Uncle Zeke, I just put my lips on. 1020 00:41:02,383 --> 00:41:03,518 - Cindy Starlight Pressman, 1021 00:41:03,518 --> 00:41:05,623 don't you dare sass your uncle. 1022 00:41:05,623 --> 00:41:06,934 - Sorry, aunt Shelly. 1023 00:41:06,934 --> 00:41:08,175 - Are you having some dinner, 1024 00:41:08,175 --> 00:41:09,856 or are you still watching your figure? 1025 00:41:09,856 --> 00:41:12,689 - I'll watch your figure for you. 1026 00:41:12,689 --> 00:41:14,211 - Nothing for me, thanks. 1027 00:41:14,211 --> 00:41:15,784 I'm going out with Steve tonight. 1028 00:41:15,784 --> 00:41:18,676 - Oh yeah, I don't know what I think 1029 00:41:18,676 --> 00:41:20,607 about this Steve character, huh? 1030 00:41:20,607 --> 00:41:23,153 What are you working in that flicker shack for, huh anyway? 1031 00:41:23,153 --> 00:41:24,391 You smell like popcorn, 1032 00:41:24,391 --> 00:41:26,189 and you're hardly making anything. 1033 00:41:26,189 --> 00:41:27,022 I told you, 1034 00:41:27,022 --> 00:41:28,396 you want to make some real money 1035 00:41:28,396 --> 00:41:30,660 you gotta go down there and audition for the Kat. 1036 00:41:30,660 --> 00:41:33,458 - Mm-mh, now Zeke, that place closed down last year. 1037 00:41:33,458 --> 00:41:34,291 - Oh what? 1038 00:41:34,291 --> 00:41:35,413 Oh shit! - Yeah, I know. 1039 00:41:35,413 --> 00:41:37,911 - That's where me and our aunt Shelly met. 1040 00:41:37,911 --> 00:41:39,744 She was B squad, 1041 00:41:39,744 --> 00:41:41,416 but I'll tell you she would have been center stage 1042 00:41:41,416 --> 00:41:44,671 Friday night had I not come along and snatched her up. 1043 00:41:44,671 --> 00:41:45,917 - That was by the good old days. 1044 00:41:45,917 --> 00:41:47,232 - Yes, one of the good old days. 1045 00:41:47,232 --> 00:41:49,510 - But that's not for Cindy, mm-mh, 1046 00:41:49,510 --> 00:41:52,672 Cindy is doing just fine, aren't you sweetie? 1047 00:41:52,672 --> 00:41:53,524 - Steve's here. 1048 00:41:53,524 --> 00:41:54,357 (car honking) 1049 00:41:54,357 --> 00:41:56,942 - All right, honey, have a good time. 1050 00:41:56,942 --> 00:41:57,775 - Steve's here. 1051 00:41:57,775 --> 00:42:01,257 - Oh no, no, don't worry about it. 1052 00:42:01,257 --> 00:42:02,482 Come on. - Steve. 1053 00:42:02,482 --> 00:42:05,835 I know I'll give you something to fill your hands with. 1054 00:42:05,835 --> 00:42:08,590 Come on, come on, let's go, naughty boy. 1055 00:42:08,590 --> 00:42:11,774 - Play hide the beer can. - Yeah. (laughs) 1056 00:42:23,658 --> 00:42:25,260 - Hey, cut it out. 1057 00:42:25,260 --> 00:42:26,093 - What? 1058 00:42:27,378 --> 00:42:29,802 - Come on, I'm just not ready yet. 1059 00:42:29,802 --> 00:42:31,349 - Have another beer then. 1060 00:42:31,349 --> 00:42:33,099 - I'm serious. 1061 00:42:33,099 --> 00:42:34,949 Besides I have to sober up by curfew. 1062 00:42:34,949 --> 00:42:39,251 Aunt Shelly will smell my breath and spank me again. 1063 00:42:39,251 --> 00:42:42,966 Have you thought anymore about home coming? 1064 00:42:42,966 --> 00:42:44,996 - Yeah, I thought about it. 1065 00:42:44,996 --> 00:42:45,829 - And? 1066 00:42:48,356 --> 00:42:49,189 - I don't know, 1067 00:42:49,189 --> 00:42:51,013 I need more time, all right? 1068 00:42:51,013 --> 00:42:52,691 - But there's this other guy who just asking me, 1069 00:42:52,691 --> 00:42:55,204 and I can't keep stalling. 1070 00:42:55,204 --> 00:42:57,695 - So go with him then. 1071 00:42:57,695 --> 00:42:58,955 - I don't want to go with him, 1072 00:42:58,955 --> 00:43:00,834 he's in my grade. 1073 00:43:00,834 --> 00:43:02,392 - Did you tell him that? 1074 00:43:02,392 --> 00:43:04,350 - No, I told him I wanna go with you, 1075 00:43:04,350 --> 00:43:05,854 but that you hadn't decided yet, 1076 00:43:05,854 --> 00:43:08,239 so he'll just have to wait. 1077 00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:09,964 - Okay, so let me get this straight. 1078 00:43:09,964 --> 00:43:13,380 You've just got this kid on hold. 1079 00:43:13,380 --> 00:43:14,213 - Kind of. 1080 00:43:16,362 --> 00:43:17,390 (Steve Chuckles) 1081 00:43:17,390 --> 00:43:18,223 - What? 1082 00:43:20,529 --> 00:43:24,094 - No, nothing, nothing come here. 1083 00:43:24,094 --> 00:43:26,677 (upbeat music) 1084 00:43:30,830 --> 00:43:32,703 - [Bob] What do you mean you haven't done her yet? 1085 00:43:32,703 --> 00:43:33,897 - She's in high school, man. 1086 00:43:33,897 --> 00:43:36,564 She's doesn't even have a car for Christ sake. 1087 00:43:36,564 --> 00:43:38,330 - So get behind her, grab her arms, 1088 00:43:38,330 --> 00:43:39,809 and ride her like a bicycle. 1089 00:43:39,809 --> 00:43:41,398 - Yeah, I don't think her mom would appreciate 1090 00:43:41,398 --> 00:43:42,346 that very much. 1091 00:43:42,346 --> 00:43:43,550 - Is her mom hot? 1092 00:43:43,550 --> 00:43:46,552 - Probably, but she's gotta be at least 30. 1093 00:43:46,552 --> 00:43:47,907 - You know what you should do? 1094 00:43:47,907 --> 00:43:49,764 Go to her house when her mom's there, 1095 00:43:49,764 --> 00:43:50,914 get behind her like- 1096 00:43:50,914 --> 00:43:52,398 - What's up, man? 1097 00:43:52,398 --> 00:43:54,926 - I'm just killing time before work. 1098 00:43:54,926 --> 00:43:55,998 - All right, well, I will be 1099 00:43:55,998 --> 00:43:57,878 in my room exercising my God given rights 1100 00:43:57,878 --> 00:44:00,689 to watch free porn and rub one out, so. 1101 00:44:00,689 --> 00:44:02,078 - So think of me. 1102 00:44:02,078 --> 00:44:04,470 - Always do. But you guys, okay? 1103 00:44:05,618 --> 00:44:07,561 I don't want you down here playing games all day 1104 00:44:07,561 --> 00:44:09,210 in my parents' basement, okay. 1105 00:44:09,210 --> 00:44:11,506 Robert, take out the trash, 1106 00:44:11,506 --> 00:44:13,605 and Franklin, so help me God, 1107 00:44:13,605 --> 00:44:16,492 if I have to ask you to mow the lawn one more time, 1108 00:44:16,492 --> 00:44:18,186 no more games, that's it. 1109 00:44:18,186 --> 00:44:20,240 - But I hate chores. 1110 00:44:20,240 --> 00:44:22,547 - That's enough out of both of you, okay? 1111 00:44:22,547 --> 00:44:24,630 - You know where I'll be. 1112 00:44:29,311 --> 00:44:30,162 - Have fun, boys. 1113 00:44:30,162 --> 00:44:30,995 (happy music) 1114 00:44:30,995 --> 00:44:31,828 - Yeah. 1115 00:44:35,533 --> 00:44:37,865 (sensual music) 1116 00:44:41,148 --> 00:44:42,316 - There you are. 1117 00:44:42,316 --> 00:44:44,158 I've been looking all over for you. 1118 00:44:44,158 --> 00:44:46,020 - I've been right here. 1119 00:44:46,020 --> 00:44:47,374 - So I see. 1120 00:44:47,374 --> 00:44:48,387 I got your message, 1121 00:44:48,387 --> 00:44:49,220 what's up? 1122 00:44:50,813 --> 00:44:54,021 - So I've decided I'm gonna go. 1123 00:44:54,021 --> 00:44:55,085 - Oh Steve. 1124 00:44:55,085 --> 00:44:56,764 - Yeah, okay, well I'm telling you right now. 1125 00:44:56,764 --> 00:44:58,275 I'm not going to like it, 1126 00:44:58,275 --> 00:44:59,884 but ii will do it for you. 1127 00:44:59,884 --> 00:45:01,114 - This is gonna be so great. 1128 00:45:01,114 --> 00:45:03,015 My friend, Sandy, she's going with her boyfriend, Richard, 1129 00:45:03,015 --> 00:45:04,081 if we can totally double. 1130 00:45:04,081 --> 00:45:05,705 - No, no, no, no, no, no doubles, 1131 00:45:05,705 --> 00:45:08,209 no dinners, just me and you, okay, 1132 00:45:08,209 --> 00:45:09,901 and we're not staying long. 1133 00:45:09,901 --> 00:45:12,668 - All right, but we are going? 1134 00:45:12,668 --> 00:45:15,305 - Yes Cindy, we are going to homecoming. 1135 00:45:15,305 --> 00:45:17,013 (sensual music) 1136 00:45:17,013 --> 00:45:18,179 - This is gonna be so great. 1137 00:45:18,179 --> 00:45:20,260 - Yeah. - I gotta get back downstairs. 1138 00:45:20,260 --> 00:45:21,093 - Okay. 1139 00:45:21,093 --> 00:45:23,676 (sensual music) 1140 00:45:24,713 --> 00:45:25,546 Fuck! 1141 00:45:28,835 --> 00:45:29,668 - It's tough. 1142 00:45:29,668 --> 00:45:32,610 I mean, I know there's a place for me at the university 1143 00:45:32,610 --> 00:45:33,443 when I graduate, 1144 00:45:33,443 --> 00:45:34,669 but the pay is not very good. 1145 00:45:34,669 --> 00:45:36,272 And then if I accept a position somewhere else, 1146 00:45:36,272 --> 00:45:38,194 that doesn't leave any room for Nigel. 1147 00:45:38,194 --> 00:45:39,877 He's tenure, so he can't just leave. 1148 00:45:39,877 --> 00:45:41,636 - I don't know about this Nigel guy, 1149 00:45:41,636 --> 00:45:43,638 he just seems like a real douche. 1150 00:45:43,638 --> 00:45:46,077 - (chuckles) Okay. 1151 00:45:46,077 --> 00:45:47,980 He's been a real asshole lately. 1152 00:45:47,980 --> 00:45:50,552 Some guys never grow up. - I grew up. 1153 00:45:50,552 --> 00:45:52,512 - Sure you did. - I did. 1154 00:45:52,512 --> 00:45:54,661 - Do you think Boba Fett could take on the Terminator? 1155 00:45:54,661 --> 00:45:55,729 - Oh my God, in a heartbeat. 1156 00:45:55,729 --> 00:45:57,521 I mean Boba Fett's a bounty hunter. 1157 00:45:57,521 --> 00:46:00,425 Terminator would have no idea what hit him. 1158 00:46:00,425 --> 00:46:02,060 - Real mature. - Oh, okay. 1159 00:46:02,060 --> 00:46:03,693 - We've been talking about me all night though, 1160 00:46:03,693 --> 00:46:04,873 what about you? 1161 00:46:04,873 --> 00:46:06,109 Are you seeing anyone? 1162 00:46:06,109 --> 00:46:07,857 - More like romantically? 1163 00:46:07,857 --> 00:46:09,947 - Yeah, anyone I'd know? 1164 00:46:09,947 --> 00:46:13,518 - Oh, no, I've been kind of more taking a break 1165 00:46:13,518 --> 00:46:15,089 from the whole dating game. 1166 00:46:15,089 --> 00:46:18,217 I'm trying to like figure some things out. 1167 00:46:18,217 --> 00:46:20,702 - That's good for you. 1168 00:46:20,702 --> 00:46:23,023 How much time have you taken? 1169 00:46:23,023 --> 00:46:25,266 - Well, like five or six- 1170 00:46:25,266 --> 00:46:26,888 - Weeks? 1171 00:46:26,888 --> 00:46:27,721 - Years. 1172 00:46:28,854 --> 00:46:30,905 - John, that's more than a little bit of time. 1173 00:46:30,905 --> 00:46:31,886 - I know. 1174 00:46:31,886 --> 00:46:34,298 - That's since we broke up. 1175 00:46:34,298 --> 00:46:37,673 Have you not dated anyone since we broke up? 1176 00:46:37,673 --> 00:46:39,124 - I dated a little bit, 1177 00:46:39,124 --> 00:46:42,041 like right after, but I don't know. 1178 00:46:42,916 --> 00:46:44,042 Okay, oh, okay, 1179 00:46:44,042 --> 00:46:46,206 so I like walnuts. 1180 00:46:46,206 --> 00:46:50,094 I'm not really a Chex Mix kinda guy. 1181 00:46:50,094 --> 00:46:50,956 - What? 1182 00:46:50,956 --> 00:46:53,434 - Okay, so Steve, he likes Chex Mix. 1183 00:46:53,434 --> 00:46:55,037 He likes the variety. 1184 00:46:55,037 --> 00:46:57,195 He likes to really dig in there, 1185 00:46:57,195 --> 00:47:00,534 and shove as much shit into his face as he possibly can 1186 00:47:00,534 --> 00:47:02,956 where I like walnuts. 1187 00:47:02,956 --> 00:47:07,257 I like to really take my time to crack into the- 1188 00:47:07,257 --> 00:47:09,135 - This is a terrible analogy. - It's not great. 1189 00:47:09,135 --> 00:47:10,302 It's not good. 1190 00:47:11,911 --> 00:47:14,638 I guess what I'm trying to say is you ruined me 1191 00:47:14,638 --> 00:47:15,634 for other women. 1192 00:47:15,634 --> 00:47:17,811 - Oh, because I'm a nut. 1193 00:47:17,811 --> 00:47:18,797 - Oh, that was bad, 1194 00:47:18,797 --> 00:47:19,887 that was not good. 1195 00:47:19,887 --> 00:47:21,045 - We should probably get going. 1196 00:47:21,045 --> 00:47:23,048 - Yeah, where's this waiter been? 1197 00:47:23,048 --> 00:47:24,631 I don't know where. 1198 00:47:25,812 --> 00:47:28,620 - So what time did you even get back last night? 1199 00:47:28,620 --> 00:47:32,703 - 9:30, and I got a good night kiss. 1200 00:47:35,187 --> 00:47:36,080 Okay, it was on the cheek, 1201 00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:37,894 but it was close to the lips, 1202 00:47:37,894 --> 00:47:38,727 and I paid for dinner, 1203 00:47:38,727 --> 00:47:41,157 so that's gotta mean something, right? 1204 00:47:41,157 --> 00:47:43,743 - It means you are out 50 bucks. 1205 00:47:43,743 --> 00:47:44,576 - Okay. 1206 00:47:44,576 --> 00:47:46,038 - Look, man, if you're not gonna be down 1207 00:47:46,038 --> 00:47:47,487 below fighting for scraps, 1208 00:47:47,487 --> 00:47:48,438 like the rest of us, 1209 00:47:48,438 --> 00:47:50,913 you need to swim your ass to the surface, 1210 00:47:50,913 --> 00:47:54,080 and tickle the little man in the boat. 1211 00:47:56,490 --> 00:47:58,184 Oh, I decided I'm going to homecoming. 1212 00:47:58,184 --> 00:47:59,017 - What? 1213 00:47:59,017 --> 00:47:59,850 No shit, dude. 1214 00:47:59,850 --> 00:48:01,382 You've gotta be fucking shitting me. 1215 00:48:01,382 --> 00:48:02,715 There is no way. 1216 00:48:03,569 --> 00:48:05,215 - I figured if she's gonna put out, you know, 1217 00:48:05,215 --> 00:48:06,822 this'll be the night 1218 00:48:06,822 --> 00:48:08,833 - God, you are gonna humiliate yourself in front 1219 00:48:08,833 --> 00:48:11,489 of an entire high school just to get this girl in bed, 1220 00:48:11,489 --> 00:48:12,601 are you kidding? 1221 00:48:12,601 --> 00:48:14,812 Why don't you graduate to real women, dude? 1222 00:48:14,812 --> 00:48:16,909 - 'Cause let me tell you something about real women. 1223 00:48:16,909 --> 00:48:17,742 - Please. 1224 00:48:17,742 --> 00:48:19,355 - They don't date guys like us, all right? 1225 00:48:19,355 --> 00:48:20,535 We're on the level. 1226 00:48:20,535 --> 00:48:22,242 Okay, we don't hide our demands, 1227 00:48:22,242 --> 00:48:25,525 and we don't try to put on a show, 1228 00:48:26,375 --> 00:48:28,511 or they don't want what we have to offer, okay. 1229 00:48:28,511 --> 00:48:29,915 They don't want love. 1230 00:48:29,915 --> 00:48:31,183 They're not looking for sex. 1231 00:48:31,183 --> 00:48:34,140 They're looking for a lifestyle, all right? 1232 00:48:34,140 --> 00:48:35,554 "What kind of car does he drive? 1233 00:48:35,554 --> 00:48:36,492 Is he rich?" 1234 00:48:36,492 --> 00:48:37,702 It's fucking vicious. 1235 00:48:37,702 --> 00:48:38,666 (John laughs) 1236 00:48:38,666 --> 00:48:40,455 Every hot girl that we knew in high school 1237 00:48:40,455 --> 00:48:42,432 was always dating a college guy, right? 1238 00:48:42,432 --> 00:48:43,895 - Yeah. - They shopped up, 1239 00:48:43,895 --> 00:48:46,472 that always left guys like me and you stuck somewhere 1240 00:48:46,472 --> 00:48:48,701 in between the fat chicks and the freaks. 1241 00:48:48,701 --> 00:48:50,143 - Fat chicks, oh... 1242 00:48:50,143 --> 00:48:52,291 - Dating isn't something that's meant to be enjoyed, man. 1243 00:48:52,291 --> 00:48:54,132 It's an emotional trash compactor 1244 00:48:54,132 --> 00:48:56,031 that's half filled with broken wills, 1245 00:48:56,031 --> 00:48:58,525 and it's topped off with rejection. 1246 00:48:58,525 --> 00:48:59,680 - Okay. 1247 00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:02,894 - But the game can be played both ways, right? 1248 00:49:02,894 --> 00:49:04,445 I can shop down, 1249 00:49:04,445 --> 00:49:06,544 because I am the college guy now. 1250 00:49:06,544 --> 00:49:07,811 This is my time. 1251 00:49:07,811 --> 00:49:10,411 I get to take my pick. 1252 00:49:10,411 --> 00:49:12,746 These high school girls who wouldn't piss on me, 1253 00:49:12,746 --> 00:49:14,834 if I was on fire? 1254 00:49:14,834 --> 00:49:17,629 Now I'm exactly what they're looking for, 1255 00:49:17,629 --> 00:49:19,969 and all of those guys who used to be us, 1256 00:49:19,969 --> 00:49:21,386 those loser guys, 1257 00:49:22,348 --> 00:49:23,181 they don't know it, 1258 00:49:23,181 --> 00:49:24,895 but I'm doing it for them, all right? 1259 00:49:24,895 --> 00:49:29,257 I fuck each and every one of those girls for those guys 1260 00:49:29,257 --> 00:49:31,100 who couldn't get a date on a Friday night. 1261 00:49:31,100 --> 00:49:32,684 - Wow! - And it feels good. 1262 00:49:32,684 --> 00:49:33,901 - Well, I'm sure. 1263 00:49:33,901 --> 00:49:35,793 And that's so very noble of you. 1264 00:49:35,793 --> 00:49:37,228 Oh, the King coming down from the castle 1265 00:49:37,228 --> 00:49:38,784 to feed the peasants. 1266 00:49:38,784 --> 00:49:39,861 You're basically a bottom feeder, 1267 00:49:39,861 --> 00:49:41,195 and you know it. 1268 00:49:41,195 --> 00:49:42,553 - I'm a what? - Bottom feeder, you know, 1269 00:49:42,553 --> 00:49:45,465 you're just strolling along the bottom of the ocean 1270 00:49:45,465 --> 00:49:47,683 just picking up whatever garbage you wanna put 1271 00:49:47,683 --> 00:49:48,516 in your mouth, 1272 00:49:48,516 --> 00:49:52,587 just way too lazy to even just go up and get real food. 1273 00:49:52,587 --> 00:49:54,945 - Okay, yeah, so I'm eating off the bottom, 1274 00:49:54,945 --> 00:49:57,172 I admit it. 1275 00:49:57,172 --> 00:49:59,445 This is a system that's been in place for generations. 1276 00:49:59,445 --> 00:50:00,666 The women invented it. 1277 00:50:00,666 --> 00:50:03,570 We just need to learn how to play along. 1278 00:50:03,570 --> 00:50:06,030 Nichole's professor, what's his fucking name? 1279 00:50:06,030 --> 00:50:06,863 - Nigel. 1280 00:50:06,863 --> 00:50:07,809 - Yeah, Nigel. - Yeah. 1281 00:50:07,809 --> 00:50:08,980 - Bottom feeder. 1282 00:50:08,980 --> 00:50:09,813 Extra slimy. 1283 00:50:09,813 --> 00:50:10,646 - Oh yeah. 1284 00:50:10,646 --> 00:50:12,780 And you need to be twice the fish that he is, 1285 00:50:12,780 --> 00:50:14,410 if you wanna win her back, 1286 00:50:14,410 --> 00:50:16,205 that's a lot of work, man. 1287 00:50:16,205 --> 00:50:17,788 And say you put in all that work, 1288 00:50:17,788 --> 00:50:19,775 and you don't get anything, 1289 00:50:19,775 --> 00:50:23,075 or you swim along the bottom. - Or? 1290 00:50:23,075 --> 00:50:25,866 - You get a girl is twice as hot, 1291 00:50:25,866 --> 00:50:27,625 and a little bit younger. 1292 00:50:27,625 --> 00:50:28,458 - You know what? 1293 00:50:28,458 --> 00:50:29,291 I'm willing to bet you 1294 00:50:29,291 --> 00:50:32,341 that I will be twice as satisfied winning back Nichole 1295 00:50:32,341 --> 00:50:34,955 than you ever would be fucking this random 1296 00:50:34,955 --> 00:50:37,176 high school sweetheart of yours. 1297 00:50:37,176 --> 00:50:38,658 - If you win her back. 1298 00:50:38,658 --> 00:50:40,825 - Oh, I'll win her back, all right? 1299 00:50:40,825 --> 00:50:42,580 I just got to get rid of this fiance of hers, 1300 00:50:42,580 --> 00:50:44,143 and I'm fucking golden. 1301 00:50:44,143 --> 00:50:46,643 - Yeah, well, okay, we'll see. 1302 00:50:48,163 --> 00:50:50,337 All right, you're ready? - Mm-hmm. 1303 00:50:50,337 --> 00:50:53,559 - Okay, time to beat is two minutes 47 seconds. 1304 00:50:53,559 --> 00:50:55,405 - Mm-hmm. - All right. 1305 00:50:55,405 --> 00:50:56,886 All right, on your mark. - Mm-hmm. 1306 00:50:56,886 --> 00:50:58,492 - Get set. - Mm-hmm. 1307 00:50:58,492 --> 00:50:59,862 - Go. 1308 00:50:59,862 --> 00:51:03,159 (water splashes) 1309 00:51:03,159 --> 00:51:05,742 (upbeat music) 1310 00:51:11,667 --> 00:51:15,304 - Please take a look at the outline for the midterm. 1311 00:51:15,304 --> 00:51:17,806 - Remember it represents 40% of your final grade, 1312 00:51:17,806 --> 00:51:19,825 so please, if you have any questions, 1313 00:51:19,825 --> 00:51:20,908 ask them now. 1314 00:51:27,850 --> 00:51:29,293 (John whistles) 1315 00:51:29,293 --> 00:51:30,126 - Goddamn! 1316 00:51:31,226 --> 00:51:33,136 - Come on, it won't be that bad 1317 00:51:33,136 --> 00:51:34,599 look at these questions. 1318 00:51:34,599 --> 00:51:35,966 - I don't know, Nichole. 1319 00:51:35,966 --> 00:51:39,100 I'm not good at taking tests. 1320 00:51:39,100 --> 00:51:42,071 - Maybe I can help you study. 1321 00:51:42,071 --> 00:51:43,654 - I like that idea. 1322 00:51:45,523 --> 00:51:48,523 (upbeat rock music) 1323 00:51:56,307 --> 00:51:57,882 - Hello, Nichole. 1324 00:51:57,882 --> 00:51:59,664 - Oh, you just missed John. 1325 00:51:59,664 --> 00:52:00,497 He went to class. 1326 00:52:00,497 --> 00:52:02,083 - Yeah, no, I know. 1327 00:52:02,083 --> 00:52:06,181 I was kinda hoping I could talk to you actually. 1328 00:52:06,181 --> 00:52:09,258 Look, John is, he's a good guy. 1329 00:52:09,258 --> 00:52:10,521 You know that, 1330 00:52:10,521 --> 00:52:15,520 but we both know that he's sensitive. 1331 00:52:16,738 --> 00:52:18,350 - Yeah, I know. 1332 00:52:18,350 --> 00:52:21,523 - So like the last time that you two were together, 1333 00:52:21,523 --> 00:52:23,690 and then you broke it off, 1334 00:52:25,495 --> 00:52:27,737 things got kinda bad, 1335 00:52:27,737 --> 00:52:29,696 like really bad. 1336 00:52:29,696 --> 00:52:30,529 - Oh, come on. 1337 00:52:30,529 --> 00:52:31,372 - No, I'm talking, 1338 00:52:31,372 --> 00:52:33,302 he was catatonic, okay. 1339 00:52:33,302 --> 00:52:36,197 It took a lot of serious vitamins to turn that boy around. 1340 00:52:36,197 --> 00:52:37,030 - What's your point? 1341 00:52:37,030 --> 00:52:41,735 - My point is I know you, you're evil, all right? 1342 00:52:41,735 --> 00:52:44,741 I know exactly what's gonna happen this time. 1343 00:52:44,741 --> 00:52:47,530 All I'm asking is that you give me some sort of heads up 1344 00:52:47,530 --> 00:52:49,137 before you fuck him over again, okay? 1345 00:52:49,137 --> 00:52:50,612 - Fuck you, Steve. 1346 00:52:50,612 --> 00:52:52,743 - If you wanna fuck me, that's fine. 1347 00:52:52,743 --> 00:52:55,888 Just like give me a heads up before you do it, okay? 1348 00:52:55,888 --> 00:52:57,404 Thank you. 1349 00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:04,989 - All right, for society to grow, 1350 00:53:05,885 --> 00:53:10,885 there have to be rules that everyone is in agreements with. 1351 00:53:11,071 --> 00:53:15,630 Now these are the laws that keep society going- 1352 00:53:15,630 --> 00:53:16,463 (door shuts) 1353 00:53:20,982 --> 00:53:24,899 but also there's the common sense things, like- 1354 00:53:27,518 --> 00:53:29,760 right now, it's also the common sense things 1355 00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:31,889 people forget, like they'll give someone a stick 1356 00:53:31,889 --> 00:53:33,255 to whoop you in the head with. 1357 00:53:33,255 --> 00:53:34,413 - Where the fuck were you? 1358 00:53:34,413 --> 00:53:37,511 - Dude them falling behind with all the homecoming crap. 1359 00:53:37,511 --> 00:53:41,374 I gotta get a suit, tickets, condoms, whatever. 1360 00:53:41,374 --> 00:53:43,313 I gotta get my paycheck after this class. 1361 00:53:43,313 --> 00:53:45,102 - At least, you know, you're actually gonna get laid. 1362 00:53:45,102 --> 00:53:47,396 Nichole's coming over later to study 1363 00:53:47,396 --> 00:53:48,782 whatever the fuck that means. 1364 00:53:48,782 --> 00:53:50,820 - It means you're gonna be a wreck for the rest of the day. 1365 00:53:50,820 --> 00:53:53,670 - Boys, y'all hear me? 1366 00:53:55,396 --> 00:53:56,729 - Seven. - Seven. 1367 00:53:57,689 --> 00:54:01,451 - Good, I thought you wasn't paying attention. 1368 00:54:01,451 --> 00:54:05,271 So that comes all the way down then to why people go there, 1369 00:54:05,271 --> 00:54:07,012 and why they end up having to wear them 1370 00:54:07,012 --> 00:54:08,845 before they go inside. 1371 00:54:11,287 --> 00:54:14,204 (video game music) 1372 00:54:16,121 --> 00:54:17,910 - No, no, no, boys come on, out. 1373 00:54:17,910 --> 00:54:20,377 So I got Nichole coming over at three to study. 1374 00:54:20,377 --> 00:54:21,729 - Hold on, we just need 15 minutes. 1375 00:54:21,729 --> 00:54:22,562 - Out! 1376 00:54:22,562 --> 00:54:24,147 - We're about to flip the score. 1377 00:54:24,147 --> 00:54:25,296 - Now! 1378 00:54:25,296 --> 00:54:28,128 - But John- - Look, do it tomorrow, Frank. 1379 00:54:28,128 --> 00:54:29,320 Come on, out boys. 1380 00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:30,347 Come on, let's move. 1381 00:54:30,347 --> 00:54:31,559 Let's move, quickly, let's go. 1382 00:54:31,559 --> 00:54:33,476 - We're going. - You guys move so slow. 1383 00:54:33,476 --> 00:54:34,897 Let's go, come on. 1384 00:54:34,897 --> 00:54:36,064 - All right, look at that, see here we go. 1385 00:54:36,064 --> 00:54:38,341 I'm moving along. - Move, let's hustle. 1386 00:54:38,341 --> 00:54:40,977 Let's get out of my house. 1387 00:54:40,977 --> 00:54:42,913 - It's our house too. - It's not. 1388 00:54:42,913 --> 00:54:44,504 No, it's not. 1389 00:54:44,504 --> 00:54:47,723 ♪ Together we could be forever ♪ 1390 00:54:47,723 --> 00:54:50,892 ♪ Forever we could be together ♪ 1391 00:54:50,892 --> 00:54:54,176 ♪ Together we could be forever ♪ 1392 00:54:54,176 --> 00:54:57,385 ♪ Forever we could be together ♪ 1393 00:54:57,385 --> 00:55:00,675 ♪ Together we could be forever ♪ 1394 00:55:00,675 --> 00:55:03,900 ♪ Forever we could be together ♪ 1395 00:55:03,900 --> 00:55:06,183 ♪ Together we could be forever ♪ 1396 00:55:06,183 --> 00:55:11,183 ♪ You know you've got to change your mind ♪ 1397 00:55:12,525 --> 00:55:17,525 ♪ Sometimes I don't think we have the time ♪ 1398 00:55:18,599 --> 00:55:23,420 ♪ Forever. Forever we could be together ♪ 1399 00:55:23,420 --> 00:55:26,582 ♪ Together we could be forever ♪ 1400 00:55:26,582 --> 00:55:29,832 ♪ Forever we could be together ♪ 1401 00:55:29,832 --> 00:55:31,924 ♪ Together we could be forever ♪ 1402 00:55:31,924 --> 00:55:36,924 ♪ Don't talk, don't move, we've got to rhyme ♪ 1403 00:55:38,485 --> 00:55:43,485 ♪ You say we haven't got the time ♪ 1404 00:55:44,512 --> 00:55:49,280 ♪ Together, forever we could be together ♪ 1405 00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:52,625 ♪ Together we could be forever ♪ 1406 00:55:52,625 --> 00:55:56,356 ♪ Forever we could be together ♪ 1407 00:55:56,356 --> 00:55:58,356 - Hey guys, John inside? 1408 00:55:59,735 --> 00:56:00,588 - Yeah. 1409 00:56:00,588 --> 00:56:03,171 (upbeat music) 1410 00:56:12,050 --> 00:56:12,883 - So... 1411 00:56:14,568 --> 00:56:16,215 how's Nigel? 1412 00:56:16,215 --> 00:56:17,772 - He's being a prick. 1413 00:56:17,772 --> 00:56:19,958 We got in this huge fight. 1414 00:56:19,958 --> 00:56:21,639 All he ever does this lie to me. 1415 00:56:21,639 --> 00:56:23,222 - That's not right. 1416 00:56:24,294 --> 00:56:26,240 - John, you know you don't have to get me drunk 1417 00:56:26,240 --> 00:56:27,657 to sleep with me. 1418 00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:31,710 - Ah, but I bought all this beer. 1419 00:56:36,494 --> 00:56:37,653 - How long do you give him? 1420 00:56:37,653 --> 00:56:39,322 - 10 minutes. 1421 00:56:39,322 --> 00:56:40,980 - Ouch, that's cold. 1422 00:56:40,980 --> 00:56:42,292 No faith in him? 1423 00:56:42,292 --> 00:56:44,281 He's a magnificent stallion. 1424 00:56:44,281 --> 00:56:46,047 - How long has it been? 1425 00:56:46,047 --> 00:56:46,880 Six years? 1426 00:56:47,717 --> 00:56:52,704 10 minutes at the top end unless they're actually studying. 1427 00:56:52,704 --> 00:56:55,454 (both chuckling) 1428 00:56:59,035 --> 00:57:02,028 - Wait Nichole, does this mean we're back together? 1429 00:57:02,028 --> 00:57:04,196 - Why does this have to mean anything? 1430 00:57:04,196 --> 00:57:07,118 Can't we just fuck for old time's sake. 1431 00:57:07,118 --> 00:57:11,519 - No, I don't want just some throwaway fuck. 1432 00:57:11,519 --> 00:57:12,691 I want you. 1433 00:57:12,691 --> 00:57:15,699 - Oh God, we can't just get back together, John. 1434 00:57:15,699 --> 00:57:17,631 It's been six years. 1435 00:57:17,631 --> 00:57:19,717 We're different people. 1436 00:57:19,717 --> 00:57:23,217 I'm just really pissed at Nigel right now. 1437 00:57:24,470 --> 00:57:26,590 It's revenge sex. 1438 00:57:26,590 --> 00:57:28,161 Can you handle that? 1439 00:57:28,161 --> 00:57:31,605 - No, I don't think I can. I have feelings here. 1440 00:57:31,605 --> 00:57:34,230 - Oh God, it's not about feelings, 1441 00:57:34,230 --> 00:57:36,978 and it's not about a relationship. 1442 00:57:36,978 --> 00:57:39,311 We had some good times sure, 1443 00:57:40,166 --> 00:57:42,217 but I've changed. 1444 00:57:42,217 --> 00:57:43,744 Maybe you haven't. 1445 00:57:43,744 --> 00:57:45,192 - I...I have. 1446 00:57:45,192 --> 00:57:47,297 - That's it, isn't it? 1447 00:57:47,297 --> 00:57:49,854 God, six years later and still the same old John. 1448 00:57:49,854 --> 00:57:50,961 - No. 1449 00:57:50,961 --> 00:57:52,473 - You know, I bet you're still duct taping yourself 1450 00:57:52,473 --> 00:57:54,400 to lawn chairs and jumping in the lake. 1451 00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:56,896 - Okay, my best time's almost a world record. 1452 00:57:56,896 --> 00:57:59,370 - You know, I almost love you, John, 1453 00:57:59,370 --> 00:58:01,396 but if you could just act like more of a man. 1454 00:58:01,396 --> 00:58:02,229 - I am. 1455 00:58:02,229 --> 00:58:03,158 - Hell, you hang out with your friends, 1456 00:58:03,158 --> 00:58:04,709 and live in your parents' basement. 1457 00:58:04,709 --> 00:58:08,361 Hell, you're still going to a two year community college. 1458 00:58:08,361 --> 00:58:09,865 You don't take your life seriously, 1459 00:58:09,865 --> 00:58:10,698 but you expect me 1460 00:58:10,698 --> 00:58:13,558 to think you can take a relationship seriously? 1461 00:58:13,558 --> 00:58:14,839 - Look, I've changed, okay? 1462 00:58:14,839 --> 00:58:16,060 You may not be able to see it - Bullshit! 1463 00:58:16,060 --> 00:58:18,146 - but I have. - Okay, take the chem class. 1464 00:58:18,146 --> 00:58:21,302 It is so obvious that you're just there to be around me. 1465 00:58:21,302 --> 00:58:22,724 That is a real class, 1466 00:58:22,724 --> 00:58:25,252 and you haven't listened to a word the professor said. 1467 00:58:25,252 --> 00:58:26,476 You don't care what you get on the exam. 1468 00:58:26,476 --> 00:58:29,691 You just invited me here to sleep with me, 1469 00:58:29,691 --> 00:58:33,215 and I came here because I wanted to too, 1470 00:58:33,215 --> 00:58:35,964 but now you're talking about a relationship. 1471 00:58:35,964 --> 00:58:38,454 You don't know the responsibility it takes 1472 00:58:38,454 --> 00:58:40,835 to make a relationship work. 1473 00:58:40,835 --> 00:58:43,709 - Oh I...I...I...I might- 1474 00:58:43,709 --> 00:58:45,118 - You know what? 1475 00:58:45,118 --> 00:58:47,085 I'll tell you what, 1476 00:58:47,085 --> 00:58:49,462 you wanna prove to me that you know what it takes 1477 00:58:49,462 --> 00:58:53,629 to build a real relationship, you ace that midterm. 1478 00:58:54,668 --> 00:58:55,501 - What? 1479 00:58:55,501 --> 00:58:57,180 - You get an A on that test, 1480 00:58:57,180 --> 00:59:00,313 and it'll show me that you know what it takes. 1481 00:59:00,313 --> 00:59:01,655 You don't get an A, 1482 00:59:01,655 --> 00:59:02,488 it's all over. 1483 00:59:02,488 --> 00:59:04,388 - Look, Nichole, that's fucking ridiculous. 1484 00:59:04,388 --> 00:59:05,465 - No buts. 1485 00:59:05,465 --> 00:59:06,757 I know it's crazy, 1486 00:59:06,757 --> 00:59:10,272 but I'm gonna give you your shot. 1487 00:59:10,272 --> 00:59:11,522 I owe you that. 1488 00:59:13,424 --> 00:59:15,354 You've got a week and a half 1489 00:59:15,354 --> 00:59:18,820 better take the plastic off those text books. 1490 00:59:18,820 --> 00:59:23,550 - But they're (stammers). 1491 00:59:23,550 --> 00:59:25,010 - Oh, my God. 1492 00:59:25,010 --> 00:59:27,427 (door opens) 1493 00:59:29,165 --> 00:59:30,332 - Bye, Nichole. 1494 00:59:30,332 --> 00:59:31,460 - Bye Nichole. 1495 00:59:31,460 --> 00:59:34,043 (upbeat music) 1496 00:59:37,719 --> 00:59:39,049 - Dibs on controller one. 1497 00:59:39,049 --> 00:59:41,632 (upbeat music) 1498 01:00:12,088 --> 01:00:13,338 Oh yeah, shit! 1499 01:00:34,816 --> 01:00:36,514 - (laughs) Cool Ranch! 1500 01:00:36,514 --> 01:00:38,769 - Right, I figured you do deserve to see me in something 1501 01:00:38,769 --> 01:00:40,393 that isn't a t-shirt. 1502 01:00:40,393 --> 01:00:41,672 - Hell, I've seen you naked. 1503 01:00:41,672 --> 01:00:45,616 - Hey, I thought we agreed to never talk about that. 1504 01:00:45,616 --> 01:00:47,202 - What's going on with the tie. 1505 01:00:47,202 --> 01:00:48,384 - Might wanna work on as a clip on, 1506 01:00:48,384 --> 01:00:50,215 so I don't know how to do it. 1507 01:00:50,215 --> 01:00:52,632 - Oh my God, come here, dude. 1508 01:00:57,673 --> 01:00:58,953 - What's this? 1509 01:00:58,953 --> 01:01:01,660 - If I don't pass my chemistry midterm, 1510 01:01:01,660 --> 01:01:03,663 I lose Nichole forever. 1511 01:01:03,663 --> 01:01:04,818 - So? 1512 01:01:04,818 --> 01:01:06,318 - So I'm studying. 1513 01:01:07,375 --> 01:01:09,083 - Aren't you on the air in an hour. 1514 01:01:09,083 --> 01:01:10,866 - Yeah, but I'm just gonna look at my notes 1515 01:01:10,866 --> 01:01:11,848 in between the songs 1516 01:01:11,848 --> 01:01:14,718 and then it's back to the wall, 1517 01:01:14,718 --> 01:01:16,718 no sleep for me tonight. 1518 01:01:18,142 --> 01:01:18,975 By the looks of it, 1519 01:01:18,975 --> 01:01:20,511 and you won't be getting very much either. 1520 01:01:20,511 --> 01:01:21,611 - Shit, I better not. 1521 01:01:21,611 --> 01:01:24,002 This stuff was expensive. 1522 01:01:24,002 --> 01:01:25,270 - All right, well, I thought I had. 1523 01:01:25,270 --> 01:01:26,804 - I'll Google it. 1524 01:01:26,804 --> 01:01:28,650 - You got condoms though, right? 1525 01:01:28,650 --> 01:01:31,040 - Buddy, I am a Trojan shareholder. 1526 01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:32,014 - Atta boy! 1527 01:01:32,014 --> 01:01:34,651 Well, remember if you get caught behind enemy lines 1528 01:01:34,651 --> 01:01:37,581 we will disavow any knowledge of your existence. 1529 01:01:37,581 --> 01:01:40,031 - For queen and country, sir. 1530 01:01:40,031 --> 01:01:41,063 - Godspeed. 1531 01:01:41,063 --> 01:01:43,980 (orchestral music) 1532 01:01:47,428 --> 01:01:49,033 - Oh and John? 1533 01:01:49,033 --> 01:01:54,033 You do realize those pages are double-sided, correct? 1534 01:01:54,100 --> 01:01:55,043 Good luck. 1535 01:01:55,043 --> 01:01:55,876 - Fuck! 1536 01:02:00,846 --> 01:02:02,796 ♪ They call me the Juggler ♪ 1537 01:02:02,796 --> 01:02:04,811 ♪ 'cause I always have three lovers ♪ 1538 01:02:04,811 --> 01:02:08,544 ♪ And I burn through Trojan rubbers like the road ♪ 1539 01:02:08,544 --> 01:02:10,510 ♪ And when I'm not between the sheets ♪ 1540 01:02:10,510 --> 01:02:12,819 ♪ I'm busy just staying undercover ♪ 1541 01:02:12,819 --> 01:02:17,448 ♪ And it is sweet being the Juggler ♪ 1542 01:02:17,448 --> 01:02:19,178 ♪ Hey. ♪ 1543 01:02:19,178 --> 01:02:21,345 - So you're Cindy's uncle? 1544 01:02:24,464 --> 01:02:25,297 - Uh-huh. 1545 01:02:31,153 --> 01:02:34,236 - What do you do you do for a living? 1546 01:02:36,712 --> 01:02:38,129 - I make bullets. 1547 01:02:39,634 --> 01:02:40,659 - Cool. 1548 01:02:40,659 --> 01:02:42,989 You like sell them to Mega Mart or? 1549 01:02:42,989 --> 01:02:45,351 (Shelly laughs) 1550 01:02:45,351 --> 01:02:47,143 - Zeke, Zeke, don't scare the boy, 1551 01:02:47,143 --> 01:02:48,857 don't scare the boy. 1552 01:02:48,857 --> 01:02:51,491 Honey, Zeke here is a big Teddy bear, 1553 01:02:51,491 --> 01:02:52,590 and you don't have to be scared, 1554 01:02:52,590 --> 01:02:53,714 aint that right, Zeke? 1555 01:02:53,714 --> 01:02:56,214 (Zeke growls) 1556 01:02:57,569 --> 01:02:59,692 - Well, that must be Cindy now coming down the stairs? 1557 01:02:59,692 --> 01:03:00,859 - Please God. 1558 01:03:03,550 --> 01:03:05,468 - Oh my God, look at my baby. 1559 01:03:05,468 --> 01:03:06,301 - [Zeke] Whoo! 1560 01:03:06,301 --> 01:03:07,661 - My beautiful girl. 1561 01:03:07,661 --> 01:03:08,805 Looks good enough to eat. 1562 01:03:08,805 --> 01:03:10,721 She gets that from her Aunt. 1563 01:03:10,721 --> 01:03:13,572 - Come here, girl, let me look at you. 1564 01:03:13,572 --> 01:03:15,250 Come on, spin around. 1565 01:03:15,250 --> 01:03:16,802 Goddamn! 1566 01:03:16,802 --> 01:03:17,635 Woo! 1567 01:03:17,635 --> 01:03:19,816 Now you got my card in case you need 1568 01:03:19,816 --> 01:03:20,835 to get in touch with me. 1569 01:03:20,835 --> 01:03:23,252 - Yeah, yes, sir, right here. 1570 01:03:25,772 --> 01:03:27,748 (foot stomps) 1571 01:03:27,748 --> 01:03:28,831 - Uncle Zeke. 1572 01:03:31,802 --> 01:03:32,635 - Come on. 1573 01:03:34,311 --> 01:03:36,025 - All right, be good have fun. 1574 01:03:36,025 --> 01:03:36,858 - Okay. 1575 01:03:40,017 --> 01:03:41,829 - You take care of our Cindy here, you hear? 1576 01:03:41,829 --> 01:03:43,101 - Oh yes, yes, sir. 1577 01:03:43,101 --> 01:03:44,455 - Not too good. 1578 01:03:44,455 --> 01:03:46,350 You gotta leave me some. 1579 01:03:46,350 --> 01:03:47,933 - Okay. - All right. 1580 01:03:48,781 --> 01:03:49,614 - All right. 1581 01:03:49,614 --> 01:03:51,281 - I'll walk you out. 1582 01:03:54,112 --> 01:03:55,385 - All this butt grabbing got me feeling kind 1583 01:03:55,385 --> 01:03:56,802 of a certain way. 1584 01:03:57,870 --> 01:04:01,120 Damn, them girls look like their grandma. 1585 01:04:03,929 --> 01:04:05,080 - Bye, bye, love birds. 1586 01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:07,671 Don't do anything I wouldn't do. 1587 01:04:07,671 --> 01:04:10,553 - Jesus, I thought we'd never get out of there. 1588 01:04:10,553 --> 01:04:12,775 - Yeah, sorry about that. 1589 01:04:12,775 --> 01:04:16,024 He wasn't supposed to be here today. 1590 01:04:16,024 --> 01:04:18,157 - You really think they believed that I'm in high school? 1591 01:04:18,157 --> 01:04:19,303 I mean. 1592 01:04:19,303 --> 01:04:21,490 - I told them you were a junior. 1593 01:04:21,490 --> 01:04:23,506 - Really? - Yeah. 1594 01:04:23,506 --> 01:04:25,007 Besides I told him you have a curfew, 1595 01:04:25,007 --> 01:04:27,943 and I'll be staying with some friends after homecoming. 1596 01:04:27,943 --> 01:04:29,193 - What friends? 1597 01:04:32,595 --> 01:04:34,595 - The ones at the hotel. 1598 01:04:54,591 --> 01:04:57,486 - You do look really great by the way. 1599 01:04:57,486 --> 01:04:58,319 - I know. 1600 01:04:59,259 --> 01:05:02,092 (car engine revs) 1601 01:05:07,866 --> 01:05:10,449 (upbeat music) 1602 01:05:12,147 --> 01:05:14,152 - Hey man, I really think we should upgrade 1603 01:05:14,152 --> 01:05:17,150 our video game system to something that's not 50 years old. 1604 01:05:17,150 --> 01:05:18,935 - I mean, we'll upgrade our video game system 1605 01:05:18,935 --> 01:05:21,789 when John upgrades his video game system. 1606 01:05:21,789 --> 01:05:22,655 - That's fair. 1607 01:05:22,655 --> 01:05:23,572 Yeah, yeah. 1608 01:05:24,507 --> 01:05:26,268 - I'm just gonna rack up these Ws, 1609 01:05:26,268 --> 01:05:27,728 'cause you haven't won in like ages, 1610 01:05:27,728 --> 01:05:28,881 like I'm really, 1611 01:05:28,881 --> 01:05:30,741 I'd rather play the computer at this point. 1612 01:05:30,741 --> 01:05:31,860 - This is why I hate playing 1613 01:05:31,860 --> 01:05:33,294 when you're wearing the victory shawl. 1614 01:05:33,294 --> 01:05:35,511 Let me just, I mean, you only Victors get 1615 01:05:35,511 --> 01:05:38,261 to wear the victory shawl loser. 1616 01:05:39,324 --> 01:05:40,318 - You're a loser. 1617 01:05:40,318 --> 01:05:41,641 - Your mom's a loser. 1618 01:05:41,641 --> 01:05:43,241 (upbeat music) 1619 01:05:43,241 --> 01:05:44,491 - Okay, thanks. 1620 01:05:46,807 --> 01:05:51,807 - Señor Dillard? Esteban? Estás tú? 1621 01:05:54,044 --> 01:05:56,629 Don't you think you're a little old 1622 01:05:56,629 --> 01:05:59,495 to be attending homecoming, 1623 01:05:59,495 --> 01:06:02,016 like maybe it's kinda inappropriate for you 1624 01:06:02,016 --> 01:06:03,349 to even be here. 1625 01:06:05,452 --> 01:06:08,669 - Well, it's no more inappropriate than the flask you keep 1626 01:06:08,669 --> 01:06:09,752 in your desk. 1627 01:06:10,688 --> 01:06:12,860 - Go have a good time, okay? 1628 01:06:12,860 --> 01:06:14,054 Yeah. (laughs) 1629 01:06:14,054 --> 01:06:14,887 Gracias. 1630 01:06:16,504 --> 01:06:18,333 - Yep, this is homecoming. 1631 01:06:18,333 --> 01:06:20,083 - I'll be right back. 1632 01:06:21,335 --> 01:06:23,918 (upbeat music) 1633 01:06:26,885 --> 01:06:27,789 - You know her? 1634 01:06:27,789 --> 01:06:29,066 - Yeah Cindy Pressman. 1635 01:06:29,066 --> 01:06:30,126 She's in my class. 1636 01:06:30,126 --> 01:06:31,075 - Yeah. 1637 01:06:31,075 --> 01:06:32,576 You want her don't you? 1638 01:06:32,576 --> 01:06:34,119 - Oh yeah, she's all right. 1639 01:06:34,119 --> 01:06:36,192 Yeah, well, it is never gonna happen, 1640 01:06:36,192 --> 01:06:39,848 so come on, don't worry, man. 1641 01:06:39,848 --> 01:06:40,874 You know what? 1642 01:06:40,874 --> 01:06:43,483 You keep your eye on those junior high girls, alright? 1643 01:06:43,483 --> 01:06:46,066 (upbeat music) 1644 01:06:47,009 --> 01:06:49,754 ♪ Heads up I don't know what is brewing ♪ 1645 01:06:49,754 --> 01:06:52,432 ♪ Look out, you're gonna have to get out my way ♪ 1646 01:06:52,432 --> 01:06:53,517 ♪ I won't stop ♪ 1647 01:06:53,517 --> 01:06:54,993 ♪ I'm doing what I'm doing ♪ 1648 01:06:54,993 --> 01:06:56,193 ♪ I'm trying to be a hero ♪ 1649 01:06:56,193 --> 01:06:59,332 ♪ And it's time for me to go save the day ♪ 1650 01:06:59,332 --> 01:07:02,249 - Shit, I gotta start taking notes. 1651 01:07:05,611 --> 01:07:08,111 Oh shit, 101.2, the bartender. 1652 01:07:09,317 --> 01:07:12,900 That was Adam Infantino with "Finding His Way." 1653 01:07:12,900 --> 01:07:17,900 Sorry about all that dead air I was well, whatever. 1654 01:07:17,932 --> 01:07:20,765 Up next to we got some Pus Buckets, some Shelly Wilkes, 1655 01:07:20,765 --> 01:07:22,906 and then Scrod for you, 1656 01:07:22,906 --> 01:07:25,075 so make sure to stick around, 1657 01:07:25,075 --> 01:07:26,826 but first caller to call in, 1658 01:07:26,826 --> 01:07:28,585 and tell me how to separate heavy molecules 1659 01:07:28,585 --> 01:07:31,215 from a phosphorus compound at room temperature 1660 01:07:31,215 --> 01:07:34,373 gets two tickets to Patrick Jaouen on the 17th, 1661 01:07:34,373 --> 01:07:36,948 so 101.2. 1662 01:07:38,514 --> 01:07:43,514 - [Man] 101.2, Rochester's, original (beep) station. 1663 01:07:43,724 --> 01:07:44,557 - God! 1664 01:07:46,096 --> 01:07:48,679 (mellow music) 1665 01:07:53,026 --> 01:07:54,976 - Well, I'm gonna go freshen up. 1666 01:07:54,976 --> 01:07:58,143 (mellow upbeat music) 1667 01:08:01,380 --> 01:08:04,130 - Well bed, it's just me and you. 1668 01:08:05,983 --> 01:08:07,971 You don't let me down, 1669 01:08:07,971 --> 01:08:11,155 maybe I'll wipe you off after. 1670 01:08:11,155 --> 01:08:12,383 Deal? 1671 01:08:12,383 --> 01:08:14,966 (mellow music) 1672 01:08:32,623 --> 01:08:35,285 - So what do you think? 1673 01:08:35,285 --> 01:08:37,302 - Lamb of God. 1674 01:08:45,108 --> 01:08:46,012 - Be gentle. 1675 01:08:46,012 --> 01:08:49,429 (mellow music continues) 1676 01:09:00,326 --> 01:09:02,909 (upbeat music) 1677 01:10:05,072 --> 01:10:07,074 - How was your test asshole? 1678 01:10:07,074 --> 01:10:08,506 - Don't ask. 1679 01:10:08,506 --> 01:10:10,006 How was the dance? 1680 01:10:12,186 --> 01:10:13,709 - Not so great. 1681 01:10:13,709 --> 01:10:14,690 - Don't tell me it didn't happen. 1682 01:10:14,690 --> 01:10:16,265 - No, it happened. 1683 01:10:16,265 --> 01:10:17,515 It's just that... 1684 01:10:20,139 --> 01:10:21,972 - It's just that what? 1685 01:10:23,216 --> 01:10:24,784 - All right, well, I didn't wanna fuck around 1686 01:10:24,784 --> 01:10:25,853 and cum too fast, 1687 01:10:25,853 --> 01:10:30,473 so I snuck off and jerked off in the bathroom three times 1688 01:10:30,473 --> 01:10:31,306 during the dance. 1689 01:10:31,306 --> 01:10:32,252 - (laughs) You did not. 1690 01:10:32,252 --> 01:10:33,839 - Yeah, yeah, I did. 1691 01:10:33,839 --> 01:10:36,698 - And then when it came time to assemble the troops, 1692 01:10:36,698 --> 01:10:38,487 we were out of ammo. 1693 01:10:38,487 --> 01:10:39,779 - So what did you do? 1694 01:10:39,779 --> 01:10:41,028 - I did what any good soldier would do, 1695 01:10:41,028 --> 01:10:42,578 I faked it. 1696 01:10:42,578 --> 01:10:43,738 - You faked it. 1697 01:10:43,738 --> 01:10:45,730 - Eight times. - Only eight? 1698 01:10:45,730 --> 01:10:47,410 - I ran out of condoms. 1699 01:10:47,410 --> 01:10:49,835 - So what, dude, you were faking it. 1700 01:10:49,835 --> 01:10:52,805 - Yeah, but I didn't wanna spoil the illusion. 1701 01:10:52,805 --> 01:10:55,882 - Well dude, Bravo, Mr. Copperfield. 1702 01:10:55,882 --> 01:10:56,754 - It's inhuman, man, 1703 01:10:56,754 --> 01:10:59,638 I can't live up to this chick's standards. 1704 01:10:59,638 --> 01:11:01,629 I mean, if I have to repeat a performance like that, 1705 01:11:01,629 --> 01:11:05,629 I'm gonna blow my colon out or worse. 1706 01:11:07,048 --> 01:11:08,610 - So you're coming to class today or what? 1707 01:11:08,610 --> 01:11:12,158 - Hell no, those chairs would kill me. 1708 01:11:12,158 --> 01:11:12,991 No. 1709 01:11:15,900 --> 01:11:18,999 When do you figure out about your test? 1710 01:11:18,999 --> 01:11:20,816 - Next week. 1711 01:11:20,816 --> 01:11:22,335 - I don't know if I made it though, man. 1712 01:11:22,335 --> 01:11:24,606 - No, I'm sure you did. 1713 01:11:24,606 --> 01:11:27,383 You and that science shit are like this, you know? 1714 01:11:27,383 --> 01:11:29,414 - I guess, yeah. 1715 01:11:29,414 --> 01:11:31,612 - Oh, oh, are you okay? 1716 01:11:31,612 --> 01:11:33,279 Come on. - Oh my God. 1717 01:11:35,044 --> 01:11:36,687 - [Steve Is it possible for your own sperm 1718 01:11:36,687 --> 01:11:38,200 to kick you in the nuts? 1719 01:11:38,200 --> 01:11:41,160 I didn't think that was. 1720 01:11:41,160 --> 01:11:43,013 - Dude, no friendly fire. 1721 01:11:43,013 --> 01:11:44,232 - Well, maybe don't get in my way. 1722 01:11:44,232 --> 01:11:45,065 - You shot me. 1723 01:11:45,065 --> 01:11:46,234 You fucking shot me. 1724 01:11:46,234 --> 01:11:47,327 - Yeah, I'm about to do it again. 1725 01:11:47,327 --> 01:11:49,324 - You miss more shots than a fucking Stormtrooper, 1726 01:11:49,324 --> 01:11:50,776 and you fucking shot me? 1727 01:11:50,776 --> 01:11:53,559 - Yeah, yeah, I did. - Bullshit! 1728 01:11:53,559 --> 01:11:54,418 - You're bullshit. 1729 01:11:54,418 --> 01:11:55,809 - Get wrecked. 1730 01:11:55,809 --> 01:11:56,642 - Fine. 1731 01:11:56,642 --> 01:11:57,697 (Bob laughs) 1732 01:11:57,697 --> 01:11:59,457 - I love you, man. - I love you too. 1733 01:11:59,457 --> 01:12:02,124 (both laughing) 1734 01:12:04,438 --> 01:12:05,848 - Hold on, hold on. 1735 01:12:05,848 --> 01:12:07,214 What if somebody comes? 1736 01:12:07,214 --> 01:12:08,547 - Somebody will. 1737 01:12:17,388 --> 01:12:19,055 - It's for the best. 1738 01:12:23,595 --> 01:12:25,371 - What do you want? 1739 01:12:25,371 --> 01:12:26,954 - I'm just leaving. 1740 01:12:30,774 --> 01:12:33,268 - I can't accept your exam sheet. 1741 01:12:33,268 --> 01:12:34,101 - But why? 1742 01:12:35,488 --> 01:12:37,016 - Because you were still filling in the bubbles 1743 01:12:37,016 --> 01:12:39,137 after I told everybody to put their pencils down, 1744 01:12:39,137 --> 01:12:40,648 I can't accept it. 1745 01:12:40,648 --> 01:12:42,189 - I busted my ass to finish. 1746 01:12:42,189 --> 01:12:43,622 All I was doing was filling out my name 1747 01:12:43,622 --> 01:12:44,601 on the other side of the sheet. 1748 01:12:44,601 --> 01:12:46,039 - Yeah, well, there are rules. 1749 01:12:46,039 --> 01:12:46,872 I'm sorry. 1750 01:12:49,200 --> 01:12:50,668 - Do you know who I am? 1751 01:12:50,668 --> 01:12:52,137 - No. 1752 01:12:52,137 --> 01:12:52,970 - Good. 1753 01:12:55,788 --> 01:12:58,448 - (laughs) Brilliant. 1754 01:12:58,448 --> 01:13:01,959 - Mr. Barden, I finished correcting your exam. 1755 01:13:01,959 --> 01:13:02,821 - You have? 1756 01:13:02,821 --> 01:13:04,702 - Yes, and I have to be honest, 1757 01:13:04,702 --> 01:13:06,673 I find it pretty surprising. 1758 01:13:06,673 --> 01:13:10,128 Well, I do you know some things about the periodic table. 1759 01:13:10,128 --> 01:13:12,784 - Apparently not, I mean, statistically speaking 1760 01:13:12,784 --> 01:13:15,011 you should have had at least one of those answers correct. 1761 01:13:15,011 --> 01:13:19,761 I mean, you really dinged the hell out of the bell curve. 1762 01:13:24,119 --> 01:13:25,689 You know Mr. Barden. 1763 01:13:25,689 --> 01:13:27,574 I noticed recently you've been kind of distracted. 1764 01:13:27,574 --> 01:13:31,666 I mean, are you going through something personal? 1765 01:13:31,666 --> 01:13:33,573 - Yeah, kind of. 1766 01:13:33,573 --> 01:13:36,450 I mean, I can make arrangements for you 1767 01:13:36,450 --> 01:13:37,802 to take the exam again. 1768 01:13:37,802 --> 01:13:40,430 - If I'm being honest I really don't think 1769 01:13:40,430 --> 01:13:42,416 it's gonna make too big of a difference, 1770 01:13:42,416 --> 01:13:44,293 but thank you. 1771 01:13:44,293 --> 01:13:45,609 - Look here, I'm gonna be honest with you. 1772 01:13:45,609 --> 01:13:46,526 I like you, 1773 01:13:47,582 --> 01:13:49,177 and frankly a lot. 1774 01:13:49,177 --> 01:13:53,260 I mean, would you like to get an A in this class? 1775 01:13:54,404 --> 01:13:55,571 - An A? - Yeah. 1776 01:13:58,003 --> 01:14:00,586 - What do I have to do for a C? 1777 01:14:02,865 --> 01:14:07,690 - Society will not allow a "Sissy" to- 1778 01:14:10,101 --> 01:14:12,197 You're late again, son. 1779 01:14:12,197 --> 01:14:14,179 Is that Professor Ding-a-ling-a-fing-a-dinger 1780 01:14:14,179 --> 01:14:15,679 keeping you after? 1781 01:14:17,089 --> 01:14:18,936 - Something like that. 1782 01:14:18,936 --> 01:14:20,033 - Where were you? 1783 01:14:20,033 --> 01:14:21,227 - I got my test back. 1784 01:14:21,227 --> 01:14:22,904 - Oh, nice, how'd you do? 1785 01:14:22,904 --> 01:14:24,295 - I got an A. 1786 01:14:24,295 --> 01:14:26,390 - Cool, man, I told you you got that chemistry down 1787 01:14:26,390 --> 01:14:27,593 to a science. 1788 01:14:27,593 --> 01:14:29,960 - Yeah, do you have any gum? 1789 01:14:29,960 --> 01:14:32,116 - Over the years it became- you have to make a sissy 1790 01:14:32,116 --> 01:14:33,713 which was a number- 1791 01:14:33,713 --> 01:14:35,796 - We have an ugly school. 1792 01:14:37,511 --> 01:14:39,281 (Cindy sniffles) 1793 01:14:39,281 --> 01:14:40,989 - Shit, Shit, shit! - What, what? 1794 01:14:40,989 --> 01:14:42,406 - Come on. - What? 1795 01:14:43,248 --> 01:14:44,699 Oh my God. 1796 01:14:44,699 --> 01:14:46,606 - Dude? - What? 1797 01:14:46,606 --> 01:14:47,439 - That's Cindy. 1798 01:14:47,439 --> 01:14:49,360 - Oh! - She's waiting for me. 1799 01:14:49,360 --> 01:14:51,229 - Are we gonna launch another offensive admiral. 1800 01:14:51,229 --> 01:14:53,323 - Dude, she can't get enough. 1801 01:14:53,323 --> 01:14:54,315 - Poor baby. 1802 01:14:54,315 --> 01:14:55,657 - No, I'm serious, man. 1803 01:14:55,657 --> 01:14:57,051 - All right, my pubes are going gray, 1804 01:14:57,051 --> 01:14:57,912 my back hurts, 1805 01:14:57,912 --> 01:15:00,603 I'm thirsty like all the time. 1806 01:15:00,603 --> 01:15:02,659 She's sucking the life out of me. 1807 01:15:02,659 --> 01:15:03,627 - Literally? - Yeah. 1808 01:15:03,627 --> 01:15:04,460 (John laughs) 1809 01:15:04,460 --> 01:15:06,701 - Look, if I'm not at your house in like two hours 1810 01:15:06,701 --> 01:15:08,626 you gotta text me, okay? 1811 01:15:08,626 --> 01:15:10,579 - Sure. - No, I'm serious, man. 1812 01:15:10,579 --> 01:15:11,412 All right? 1813 01:15:11,412 --> 01:15:12,245 You don't text me, 1814 01:15:12,245 --> 01:15:13,078 I might not make it. 1815 01:15:13,078 --> 01:15:14,130 I'm gonna need an excuse. 1816 01:15:14,130 --> 01:15:15,854 - Well, I mean, if you're gonna go out, 1817 01:15:15,854 --> 01:15:18,390 it's really not that bad of a way to do it. 1818 01:15:18,390 --> 01:15:19,223 - I don't know, 1819 01:15:19,223 --> 01:15:20,199 I feel like an old fashioned heart attack 1820 01:15:20,199 --> 01:15:22,368 might be a little bit easier. 1821 01:15:22,368 --> 01:15:23,545 - Maybe you'll get lucky. 1822 01:15:23,545 --> 01:15:25,099 - Maybe. - Ready? 1823 01:15:25,099 --> 01:15:28,266 - Yeah, let's go. - All right, come on. 1824 01:15:29,492 --> 01:15:31,462 (John laughs) 1825 01:15:31,462 --> 01:15:33,595 - John, this is Cindy. 1826 01:15:33,595 --> 01:15:35,345 Cindy, this is, John. 1827 01:15:37,444 --> 01:15:40,184 - Hi, I've heard so much about you. 1828 01:15:40,184 --> 01:15:41,135 - Really? 1829 01:15:41,135 --> 01:15:42,917 - No, I haven't actually, 1830 01:15:42,917 --> 01:15:43,750 but I'm gonna go, okay? 1831 01:15:43,750 --> 01:15:46,000 So you kids have fun, yeah. 1832 01:15:47,153 --> 01:15:48,320 - Hi, hi. - Hi. 1833 01:15:49,399 --> 01:15:52,649 (ambient guitar music) 1834 01:16:04,800 --> 01:16:09,800 ♪ And I see your shadow ♪ 1835 01:16:10,662 --> 01:16:15,662 ♪ In the ways in which you tear me down ♪ 1836 01:16:17,243 --> 01:16:20,725 ♪ In the distant hours of the night ♪ 1837 01:16:20,725 --> 01:16:22,725 - Let's go. - Yeah, yeah. 1838 01:16:23,690 --> 01:16:28,690 ♪ And it breathes the life back into me ♪ 1839 01:16:30,753 --> 01:16:35,753 ♪ And I sit on the outskirts of this town ♪ 1840 01:16:36,598 --> 01:16:39,720 ♪ Just a wandering minstel ♪ 1841 01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:43,908 ♪ In a room full of clowns ♪ 1842 01:16:43,908 --> 01:16:48,908 ♪ I sat there waiting for you ♪ 1843 01:16:49,649 --> 01:16:53,784 ♪ But you bring me up just to bring me down ♪ 1844 01:16:53,784 --> 01:16:55,534 ♪ No ♪ 1845 01:17:08,358 --> 01:17:10,608 - Water, God, I need water. 1846 01:17:18,584 --> 01:17:21,167 (upbeat music) 1847 01:17:22,935 --> 01:17:25,458 ♪ The rain outside is so strong ♪ 1848 01:17:25,458 --> 01:17:27,125 - We have to switch. 1849 01:17:29,481 --> 01:17:33,648 ♪ The water washes the filth away ♪ 1850 01:17:35,595 --> 01:17:37,595 That's not what I meant. 1851 01:17:38,585 --> 01:17:41,502 (video game music) 1852 01:17:42,403 --> 01:17:45,486 - Behold, I have emerged victorious. 1853 01:17:47,042 --> 01:17:49,204 Cindy, peed on me. 1854 01:17:49,204 --> 01:17:50,630 - Wait, what? 1855 01:17:50,630 --> 01:17:52,930 - She peed, I win. 1856 01:17:54,416 --> 01:17:55,697 - Who's Cindy? 1857 01:17:55,697 --> 01:17:56,643 - Steve's new girlfriend. 1858 01:17:56,643 --> 01:17:58,202 - How is that a good thing? 1859 01:17:58,202 --> 01:18:00,984 - (laughs) You see, she peed, 1860 01:18:00,984 --> 01:18:03,029 and then she stopped. 1861 01:18:03,029 --> 01:18:04,105 - Stopped peeing? 1862 01:18:04,105 --> 01:18:06,262 - Stopped having sex, 1863 01:18:06,262 --> 01:18:09,429 three weeks, two days, 16 hours later. 1864 01:18:10,423 --> 01:18:13,663 She's finally done. - Like for life? 1865 01:18:13,663 --> 01:18:15,299 - God, I hope so. 1866 01:18:15,299 --> 01:18:16,880 - You got fucking problems, man. 1867 01:18:16,880 --> 01:18:17,713 - I don't know, 1868 01:18:17,713 --> 01:18:19,944 it would take a lot for me to pee on a guy. 1869 01:18:19,944 --> 01:18:20,938 - Really, you should try it. 1870 01:18:20,938 --> 01:18:22,257 You might like it. 1871 01:18:22,257 --> 01:18:23,968 - This boy's a freak. 1872 01:18:23,968 --> 01:18:26,070 - It's no weirder than John's panty harvest. 1873 01:18:26,070 --> 01:18:27,249 - Panty what? 1874 01:18:27,249 --> 01:18:28,082 - Harvest. 1875 01:18:29,222 --> 01:18:31,550 You guys don't know about this? 1876 01:18:31,550 --> 01:18:33,589 John collects panties. 1877 01:18:33,589 --> 01:18:36,571 He used to take a pair from me every time we had sex. 1878 01:18:36,571 --> 01:18:40,019 He'd label it with the place, the time, and the date. 1879 01:18:40,019 --> 01:18:40,852 It was terrible. 1880 01:18:40,852 --> 01:18:42,643 I was spending a fortune on underwear. 1881 01:18:42,643 --> 01:18:44,344 - Sounds like a trophy collection. 1882 01:18:44,344 --> 01:18:46,641 - And that's exactly what it was. 1883 01:18:46,641 --> 01:18:48,138 - You know I still have it, right? 1884 01:18:48,138 --> 01:18:49,727 - Get out, you do not. 1885 01:18:49,727 --> 01:18:50,560 - Sure he does. 1886 01:18:50,560 --> 01:18:53,134 I just looked through it like two weeks ago. 1887 01:18:53,134 --> 01:18:53,967 - Where is it? 1888 01:18:53,967 --> 01:18:55,634 - It's in my closet. 1889 01:18:58,193 --> 01:19:00,041 - How many did you get? 1890 01:19:00,041 --> 01:19:01,571 - I don't even know, dude. 1891 01:19:01,571 --> 01:19:03,705 - 154. - No, shit. 1892 01:19:04,665 --> 01:19:05,498 - Yeah, man. 1893 01:19:05,498 --> 01:19:08,916 - Bro, you took 154 panties from that girl. 1894 01:19:08,916 --> 01:19:10,482 - Oh yeah, well, I mean she was buying in bulk 1895 01:19:10,482 --> 01:19:11,782 at the time, so. 1896 01:19:11,782 --> 01:19:12,782 - Oh my God. 1897 01:19:14,879 --> 01:19:16,933 I forgot how many of these there were. 1898 01:19:16,933 --> 01:19:19,100 - 154. - Man, I was a slut. 1899 01:19:23,519 --> 01:19:26,275 Nichole Richards, David Coffer's bedroom, 1900 01:19:26,275 --> 01:19:27,858 October 31st, 11:15pm. 1901 01:19:29,563 --> 01:19:31,286 I remember these. 1902 01:19:31,286 --> 01:19:32,119 - So do I. 1903 01:19:34,874 --> 01:19:38,902 - You know, I think we did it in your car more times 1904 01:19:38,902 --> 01:19:40,564 than we did it in an actual bed. 1905 01:19:40,564 --> 01:19:42,251 - I miss that car. 1906 01:19:42,251 --> 01:19:44,668 - Oh, I don't remember spots. 1907 01:19:49,943 --> 01:19:51,526 You son of a bitch. 1908 01:19:52,472 --> 01:19:53,305 - Look Nichole. 1909 01:19:53,305 --> 01:19:55,555 - Sarah Brand, Sarah Brand? 1910 01:19:57,012 --> 01:19:58,839 And right in the middle of our relationship, 1911 01:19:58,839 --> 01:20:01,250 you've fucked that fat bitch. 1912 01:20:01,250 --> 01:20:02,146 No, no, no, no I didn't. 1913 01:20:02,146 --> 01:20:03,982 Well, okay, yes, I did sleep with her, 1914 01:20:03,982 --> 01:20:06,026 but no, we weren't dating at the time. 1915 01:20:06,026 --> 01:20:07,845 It was one of those weekends that we'd broken up. 1916 01:20:07,845 --> 01:20:09,973 - And she did kinda look like you to be fair, 1917 01:20:09,973 --> 01:20:11,957 besides the whole fat thing, 1918 01:20:11,957 --> 01:20:13,384 but that's an honest mistake. 1919 01:20:13,384 --> 01:20:15,797 - Shut up! - Shut up! 1920 01:20:15,797 --> 01:20:18,214 - Brooke Peters, Anna Luther, 1921 01:20:19,424 --> 01:20:23,372 Tatiana Cruchev, the exchange student. 1922 01:20:23,372 --> 01:20:25,650 Jesus Christ, you are such an asshole! 1923 01:20:25,650 --> 01:20:26,687 - No, wait, no, no, no, no, no. 1924 01:20:26,687 --> 01:20:28,727 Okay, so you remember when you wanted to go look at schools, 1925 01:20:28,727 --> 01:20:31,616 so you dumped me so you could go check out campus, 1926 01:20:31,616 --> 01:20:34,424 and feel what it's like to be a single woman. 1927 01:20:34,424 --> 01:20:36,793 Oh, what was I supposed to do to just sit around, 1928 01:20:36,793 --> 01:20:38,104 and wait for you to come back, 1929 01:20:38,104 --> 01:20:40,476 get it out of your system. - Yes. 1930 01:20:40,476 --> 01:20:44,222 Why didn't you tell me when we got back together? 1931 01:20:44,222 --> 01:20:46,438 - Well, I knew it would piss you off. 1932 01:20:46,438 --> 01:20:48,634 - Well, congratulations. 1933 01:20:48,634 --> 01:20:50,717 - Nichole, Nichole, wait. 1934 01:20:52,405 --> 01:20:54,655 - You're not wearing pants. 1935 01:20:55,572 --> 01:20:57,962 - Oh, that kinda sucks. 1936 01:20:57,962 --> 01:20:59,451 You just got her back. 1937 01:20:59,451 --> 01:21:02,784 - Thank you Captain Bobvious, thank you. 1938 01:21:05,211 --> 01:21:06,044 Nichole? 1939 01:21:07,137 --> 01:21:07,970 Fuck! 1940 01:21:12,303 --> 01:21:15,317 - All right, I dare one of you to smell this. 1941 01:21:15,317 --> 01:21:16,234 - How much? 1942 01:21:21,952 --> 01:21:23,084 - Jesus, man! 1943 01:21:23,084 --> 01:21:24,911 Been out there knocking for half an hour, 1944 01:21:24,911 --> 01:21:26,661 why didn't you let me in? 1945 01:21:30,853 --> 01:21:32,120 - Oh shit! 1946 01:21:32,120 --> 01:21:34,218 - Oh, she is not gonna call you. 1947 01:21:34,218 --> 01:21:36,335 - Yes she is, she's just, she's just. 1948 01:21:36,335 --> 01:21:38,191 (phone rings) 1949 01:21:38,191 --> 01:21:39,024 Hello! 1950 01:21:40,402 --> 01:21:42,819 No, no, he doesn't live here. 1951 01:21:44,944 --> 01:21:46,911 - Wrong number? 1952 01:21:46,911 --> 01:21:47,744 - No. 1953 01:21:48,733 --> 01:21:51,804 Yeah, anyways, I gotta crash here for a few days. 1954 01:21:51,804 --> 01:21:53,626 I need sanctuary. 1955 01:21:53,626 --> 01:21:55,262 - From what? 1956 01:21:55,262 --> 01:21:56,940 - Little miss nympho. 1957 01:21:56,940 --> 01:21:59,023 She's a seminal vampire. 1958 01:22:01,006 --> 01:22:04,276 So is there any way you're gonna call miss underpants? 1959 01:22:04,276 --> 01:22:06,919 - No, I mean, what do I even say? 1960 01:22:06,919 --> 01:22:07,752 (Steve blows raspberries) 1961 01:22:07,752 --> 01:22:09,429 - You're asking me for advice on women? 1962 01:22:09,429 --> 01:22:11,262 You must be desperate. 1963 01:22:13,617 --> 01:22:16,784 - I'm not getting her back, am I, man? 1964 01:22:18,558 --> 01:22:19,558 - No 1965 01:22:19,558 --> 01:22:22,214 No, not by traditional means you're not. 1966 01:22:22,214 --> 01:22:23,047 You need to talk to somebody 1967 01:22:23,047 --> 01:22:27,205 who actually knows something about women, 1968 01:22:27,205 --> 01:22:30,564 and you need to get me a cheeseburger. 1969 01:22:30,564 --> 01:22:32,064 - Get it yourself. 1970 01:22:32,951 --> 01:22:34,450 - I can't, John, 1971 01:22:34,450 --> 01:22:35,867 I'm in sanctuary. 1972 01:22:41,985 --> 01:22:43,629 - My friends are assholes. 1973 01:22:43,629 --> 01:22:46,212 (bouncy music) 1974 01:22:55,883 --> 01:22:59,412 Well, we're coming up to the midnight hour, 1975 01:22:59,412 --> 01:23:01,123 the darkest hour. 1976 01:23:01,123 --> 01:23:03,037 The point in the night where you start to wonder, 1977 01:23:03,037 --> 01:23:05,729 if dawn will even come... Will it? 1978 01:23:05,729 --> 01:23:06,812 Probably not. 1979 01:23:07,676 --> 01:23:10,377 That was "Why Won't I Stop Crying" by Tweed Jacket, 1980 01:23:10,377 --> 01:23:11,373 and you know what? 1981 01:23:11,373 --> 01:23:13,039 I'm gonna play it again. 1982 01:23:13,039 --> 01:23:14,977 Anybody got any problem with that? 1983 01:23:14,977 --> 01:23:16,508 Didn't think so. 1984 01:23:16,508 --> 01:23:18,925 (Sam knocks) 1985 01:23:20,322 --> 01:23:21,699 Sam, my man. 1986 01:23:21,699 --> 01:23:22,936 You know anything about women? 1987 01:23:22,936 --> 01:23:23,769 - No. 1988 01:23:26,011 --> 01:23:27,178 - Good talk. 1989 01:23:33,417 --> 01:23:36,334 (video game music) 1990 01:23:40,656 --> 01:23:42,867 John, sorry the front door was wide open. 1991 01:23:42,867 --> 01:23:45,285 - Fucking Frank. - Where's Steve? 1992 01:23:45,285 --> 01:23:46,535 - I don't know. 1993 01:23:47,693 --> 01:23:48,979 - His fucking car is here. 1994 01:23:48,979 --> 01:23:52,229 - Oh, yeah, but I was gonna, oh, okay. 1995 01:23:53,775 --> 01:23:54,608 - Oh shit! 1996 01:23:56,315 --> 01:23:57,148 - Oops. 1997 01:23:58,131 --> 01:24:01,293 - Cindy, what the fuck are you doing here? 1998 01:24:01,293 --> 01:24:03,020 Have you met Betty? 1999 01:24:03,020 --> 01:24:05,965 - Can we go someplace private? 2000 01:24:05,965 --> 01:24:08,033 - I kind of had plans. 2001 01:24:08,033 --> 01:24:11,200 - I'm pregnant. - I get paid on Friday. 2002 01:24:12,746 --> 01:24:17,005 Look, I've actually given this quite a bit of thought. 2003 01:24:17,005 --> 01:24:18,505 - I just told you. 2004 01:24:19,729 --> 01:24:22,314 - It doesn't mean I haven't thought about it. 2005 01:24:22,314 --> 01:24:24,362 Contingencies, okay? 2006 01:24:24,362 --> 01:24:25,560 And I think it's best- 2007 01:24:25,560 --> 01:24:26,795 - I'm not keeping it. 2008 01:24:26,795 --> 01:24:27,867 - No, no, no, listen to me. 2009 01:24:27,867 --> 01:24:30,740 I think that we, what? 2010 01:24:30,740 --> 01:24:32,537 - What do I look like, an idiot? 2011 01:24:32,537 --> 01:24:33,592 I'm not having a kid, 2012 01:24:33,592 --> 01:24:35,852 let alone your kid at 18. 2013 01:24:35,852 --> 01:24:37,377 - What, why not? 2014 01:24:38,826 --> 01:24:41,016 - Steve, you're a loser. 2015 01:24:41,016 --> 01:24:42,664 I mean, look at you. 2016 01:24:42,664 --> 01:24:43,838 You're 25. 2017 01:24:43,838 --> 01:24:45,183 You work at a movie theater. 2018 01:24:45,183 --> 01:24:46,463 You spend all of your time bullshitting 2019 01:24:46,463 --> 01:24:47,465 with your stupid friends, 2020 01:24:47,465 --> 01:24:49,873 and knocking up underage employees. 2021 01:24:49,873 --> 01:24:51,182 You wouldn't make a good husband, 2022 01:24:51,182 --> 01:24:53,019 and you'd be a terrible father, 2023 01:24:53,019 --> 01:24:54,667 and I'm not gonna ruin my whole life 2024 01:24:54,667 --> 01:24:57,383 just to bring your child into the world. 2025 01:24:57,383 --> 01:24:58,806 - But okay, that's not a- 2026 01:24:58,806 --> 01:25:01,212 - No buts, I'm dumping you. 2027 01:25:01,212 --> 01:25:02,842 And I want your word, 2028 01:25:02,842 --> 01:25:05,787 your most serious pledge that you won't ever tell anyone 2029 01:25:05,787 --> 01:25:07,454 that I was pregnant. 2030 01:25:08,673 --> 01:25:11,579 - Hold on, hold on, that's not how this is supposed, 2031 01:25:11,579 --> 01:25:13,256 because I thought we- 2032 01:25:13,256 --> 01:25:16,191 - Look, Steve, you have a hot car. 2033 01:25:16,191 --> 01:25:17,613 You bought me beer. 2034 01:25:17,613 --> 01:25:20,042 Dating you made all my friends jealous, 2035 01:25:20,042 --> 01:25:21,802 but I'm getting out of high school soon, 2036 01:25:21,802 --> 01:25:23,771 and there are a lot of guys who have way more 2037 01:25:23,771 --> 01:25:25,960 to offer than you. 2038 01:25:25,960 --> 01:25:28,795 I want a man who can handle me as a woman, 2039 01:25:28,795 --> 01:25:29,962 not as a girl. 2040 01:25:30,917 --> 01:25:33,222 I'll see you around. 2041 01:25:33,222 --> 01:25:34,055 - But. 2042 01:25:36,064 --> 01:25:40,147 Okay, well you know what you're fired anyway, so. 2043 01:25:41,174 --> 01:25:43,898 I mean, do you believe that shit? 2044 01:25:43,898 --> 01:25:46,229 Anyway, where were we? 2045 01:25:46,229 --> 01:25:47,396 - Oh, fuck no. 2046 01:25:49,390 --> 01:25:50,307 - What're y--? 2047 01:25:54,212 --> 01:25:56,688 (suspenseful music) 2048 01:25:56,688 --> 01:25:58,438 - What are you doing? 2049 01:25:59,445 --> 01:26:01,464 - Son, is you peeping? 2050 01:26:01,464 --> 01:26:02,297 - What? 2051 01:26:02,297 --> 01:26:04,074 No, it's not like that at all. 2052 01:26:04,074 --> 01:26:05,929 - Look, Willie? 2053 01:26:05,929 --> 01:26:07,125 - No, it's John. 2054 01:26:07,125 --> 01:26:08,407 Dude, I'm in your class 2055 01:26:08,407 --> 01:26:12,793 - Right, John, you can't be peeping on folks 2056 01:26:12,793 --> 01:26:14,017 when they don't know about it. 2057 01:26:14,017 --> 01:26:15,577 It just ain't right. 2058 01:26:15,577 --> 01:26:16,726 - I know, okay, I'm sorry. 2059 01:26:16,726 --> 01:26:20,173 - Although if you're paid 'em for it, 2060 01:26:20,173 --> 01:26:22,330 that'd be all right. (chuckles) 2061 01:26:22,330 --> 01:26:24,877 Who are you peeping on anyway? 2062 01:26:24,877 --> 01:26:29,061 - Well it, my girlfriend and I got into a fight, so. 2063 01:26:29,061 --> 01:26:31,703 - Oh, yeah, girlfriends, that's tough you know, 2064 01:26:31,703 --> 01:26:33,347 I hear that it's a lot of trouble, 2065 01:26:33,347 --> 01:26:35,896 but you know that doesn't allow you to be peeping on folks 2066 01:26:35,896 --> 01:26:37,154 without them knowing about it, 2067 01:26:37,154 --> 01:26:39,982 especially here on the campus, okay? 2068 01:26:39,982 --> 01:26:42,363 - No, look, I know, okay, I'm sorry. 2069 01:26:42,363 --> 01:26:43,937 - Okay, good. - It won't happen again. 2070 01:26:43,937 --> 01:26:45,880 - I'll sees you back in class then. 2071 01:26:45,880 --> 01:26:50,130 - Yeah, so Mr. Robertson, can I ask you a question? 2072 01:26:51,251 --> 01:26:52,501 - You just did. 2073 01:26:53,460 --> 01:26:55,614 (chuckles) I was always here for my students. 2074 01:26:55,614 --> 01:26:57,005 What can I do you for? 2075 01:26:57,005 --> 01:27:00,613 - So I broke up with my girlfriend the other day. 2076 01:27:00,613 --> 01:27:01,962 Okay, look, I'm gonna be honest with you, 2077 01:27:01,962 --> 01:27:03,712 she broke up with me. 2078 01:27:05,606 --> 01:27:08,617 It's cause every time when we used to break up, 2079 01:27:08,617 --> 01:27:11,433 I would just go and sleep with like half of the high school, 2080 01:27:11,433 --> 01:27:12,963 that was like seven years ago though, 2081 01:27:12,963 --> 01:27:15,542 so I guess what I'm asking is 2082 01:27:15,542 --> 01:27:17,661 how do I get her back? 2083 01:27:17,661 --> 01:27:21,603 - She broke half a school up seven years ago. 2084 01:27:21,603 --> 01:27:22,662 - Dude. - That's incredible. 2085 01:27:22,662 --> 01:27:24,245 - No man, we broke, 2086 01:27:25,166 --> 01:27:26,600 dude, nevermind, man. 2087 01:27:26,600 --> 01:27:28,342 I'm just, I'll get outta here. 2088 01:27:28,342 --> 01:27:30,937 - All right, John, John, wait, hold up, hold up. 2089 01:27:30,937 --> 01:27:33,687 Listen, I know, forget the teeth. 2090 01:27:35,507 --> 01:27:37,554 I can't tell you how to get your girl back, 2091 01:27:37,554 --> 01:27:39,938 but I can tell you this, 2092 01:27:39,938 --> 01:27:42,174 life is full of crossroads, 2093 01:27:42,174 --> 01:27:45,938 you know, points that make you a sit up and take notice. 2094 01:27:45,938 --> 01:27:47,518 You got a lot of choices to make, 2095 01:27:47,518 --> 01:27:50,272 and sometimes you make the wrong ones, 2096 01:27:50,272 --> 01:27:54,356 and when that happens you gotta wake up, you know. 2097 01:27:54,356 --> 01:27:55,757 Re-evaluate what's going on. 2098 01:27:55,757 --> 01:27:56,911 Figure out what you're doing wrong, 2099 01:27:56,911 --> 01:27:59,216 and then get back on track. 2100 01:27:59,216 --> 01:28:00,365 You run yourself into the ground 2101 01:28:00,365 --> 01:28:03,627 you're gonna end up crazy and alone. 2102 01:28:03,627 --> 01:28:04,627 You hear me? 2103 01:28:06,483 --> 01:28:09,340 Good, all right, let me ask you this, 2104 01:28:09,340 --> 01:28:10,840 does she hate you? 2105 01:28:12,096 --> 01:28:13,612 Good. 2106 01:28:13,612 --> 01:28:15,695 Hate and love are the same. 2107 01:28:15,695 --> 01:28:18,225 It's apathy that you can't repair. 2108 01:28:18,225 --> 01:28:21,554 I mean, once that hits, it's like a brick wall, you know? 2109 01:28:21,554 --> 01:28:23,072 And then you're just left to face the rest 2110 01:28:23,072 --> 01:28:27,823 of your life with all the hope and glory behind you. 2111 01:28:27,823 --> 01:28:30,080 It'll make you bitter. 2112 01:28:30,080 --> 01:28:31,663 You still got time. 2113 01:28:33,306 --> 01:28:34,473 Use it wisely. 2114 01:28:37,215 --> 01:28:38,298 - Okay, okay. 2115 01:28:39,752 --> 01:28:41,672 - I got my own sociology project. 2116 01:28:41,672 --> 01:28:43,025 I'm working on. 2117 01:28:43,025 --> 01:28:47,275 I'll see you later, Gary. (laughs) 2118 01:28:48,121 --> 01:28:49,622 - What the fuck was that? 2119 01:28:49,622 --> 01:28:51,509 Oh my God (laughs) 2120 01:28:51,509 --> 01:28:52,956 Where is Steve? 2121 01:28:52,956 --> 01:28:57,889 (depressing Rock guitar) 2122 01:28:59,077 --> 01:29:02,160 - Jesus, what the hell happened here? 2123 01:29:03,171 --> 01:29:05,004 - Man, you guys stink. 2124 01:29:06,035 --> 01:29:08,868 When's the last time you showered? 2125 01:29:09,710 --> 01:29:11,268 - We're out of beer. 2126 01:29:11,268 --> 01:29:13,952 - Yeah, so it's the rest of Rochester from the look of it. 2127 01:29:13,952 --> 01:29:17,203 - I can see sober at the end of the horizon, 2128 01:29:17,203 --> 01:29:18,908 and I don't like it. 2129 01:29:18,908 --> 01:29:22,878 - Damn, these bitches fucked you boys all the way up. 2130 01:29:22,878 --> 01:29:24,950 - How much longer you guys think you're gonna be at this? 2131 01:29:24,950 --> 01:29:27,158 - I think we got enough sips and drops 2132 01:29:27,158 --> 01:29:29,864 for like two more hours. 2133 01:29:29,864 --> 01:29:33,341 - Well shit, we're not gonna be here that long. 2134 01:29:33,341 --> 01:29:34,446 - Where are you going? 2135 01:29:34,446 --> 01:29:35,318 (upbeat music) 2136 01:29:35,318 --> 01:29:37,413 - We have a book tour. 2137 01:29:37,413 --> 01:29:38,921 - A what? 2138 01:29:38,921 --> 01:29:39,754 - Yeah, we've been working 2139 01:29:39,754 --> 01:29:41,518 with professor Robertson all semester. 2140 01:29:41,518 --> 01:29:43,202 - Sorry, we couldn't tell ya. 2141 01:29:43,202 --> 01:29:45,048 - What you wrote a book? 2142 01:29:45,048 --> 01:29:45,949 - Yeah. 2143 01:29:45,949 --> 01:29:48,737 What you think we just spend all our time here? (laughs) 2144 01:29:48,737 --> 01:29:50,413 - Yeah. - Yeah. 2145 01:29:50,413 --> 01:29:51,895 - Well, we have this idea 2146 01:29:51,895 --> 01:29:54,652 that most people were basically sheep. 2147 01:29:54,652 --> 01:29:56,448 You put them in the room with an authority figure, 2148 01:29:56,448 --> 01:29:58,437 and they'll follow along no matter how outrageous, 2149 01:29:58,437 --> 01:30:00,828 or ridiculous that person is. 2150 01:30:00,828 --> 01:30:02,728 - So we took that idea to professor Robertson, 2151 01:30:02,728 --> 01:30:04,837 and he suggested a grand social experiment 2152 01:30:04,837 --> 01:30:08,254 with his sociology 101 class, your class, 2153 01:30:09,471 --> 01:30:13,138 and thus crazy professor Robertson was born. 2154 01:30:15,826 --> 01:30:17,459 - Hey, we brought you guys a gift. 2155 01:30:17,459 --> 01:30:19,780 - Yeah, and why do you think we're here? 2156 01:30:19,780 --> 01:30:21,780 Ta-dah, and it's signed. 2157 01:30:23,872 --> 01:30:26,236 Come on guys, don't be too hard on yourselves. 2158 01:30:26,236 --> 01:30:28,530 You're the only ones who saw through the experiment. 2159 01:30:28,530 --> 01:30:30,548 Turns out being huge assholes 2160 01:30:30,548 --> 01:30:33,131 helps you see through bullshit. 2161 01:30:34,352 --> 01:30:35,632 - Well, we gotta jet. 2162 01:30:35,632 --> 01:30:38,773 We'll see in like four months. 2163 01:30:38,773 --> 01:30:39,880 You guys still be right here yeah? 2164 01:30:39,880 --> 01:30:40,869 - Yeah. - Yeah. 2165 01:30:40,869 --> 01:30:42,827 - Yeah. - Yeah. (laughs) 2166 01:30:42,827 --> 01:30:43,660 - Later. 2167 01:30:45,708 --> 01:30:49,525 - Guys do us a favor get off your asses 2168 01:30:49,525 --> 01:30:52,626 and get something done, all right? 2169 01:30:52,626 --> 01:30:54,525 (Frank and Bob laughing) 2170 01:30:54,525 --> 01:30:57,108 (upbeat music) 2171 01:30:59,467 --> 01:31:01,967 (John knocks) 2172 01:31:06,071 --> 01:31:06,904 - Hi. 2173 01:31:06,904 --> 01:31:07,964 - Go away, I'm not coming out. 2174 01:31:07,964 --> 01:31:08,797 - Why? 2175 01:31:09,924 --> 01:31:12,238 - Okay, I'm not leaving though. 2176 01:31:12,238 --> 01:31:13,092 I have another plan, 2177 01:31:13,092 --> 01:31:15,668 and I don't think you're gonna like it. 2178 01:31:15,668 --> 01:31:16,985 - [Nichole] Go away! 2179 01:31:16,985 --> 01:31:18,568 - Okay, I warned you. 2180 01:31:21,605 --> 01:31:23,857 ♪ We wishes precious moments ♪ 2181 01:31:23,857 --> 01:31:28,773 ♪ away ♪ 2182 01:31:28,773 --> 01:31:30,242 ♪ Believer ♪ 2183 01:31:30,242 --> 01:31:31,075 Yeah. 2184 01:31:33,040 --> 01:31:33,873 Yeah! 2185 01:31:34,918 --> 01:31:36,357 (car honks) 2186 01:31:36,357 --> 01:31:40,751 ♪ I couldn't give you the ocean ♪ 2187 01:31:40,751 --> 01:31:42,721 ♪ And I couldn't take it away ♪ 2188 01:31:42,721 --> 01:31:44,985 - All right, say your peace then go. 2189 01:31:44,985 --> 01:31:49,985 - Okay, look, Nichole I'm sorry, okay. 2190 01:31:50,481 --> 01:31:51,560 I can't change the past, 2191 01:31:51,560 --> 01:31:54,908 but I can change this path that I'm on now. 2192 01:31:54,908 --> 01:31:56,834 I mean, I need you. 2193 01:31:56,834 --> 01:31:57,731 I don't wanna lose you again. 2194 01:31:57,731 --> 01:32:00,064 I mean, especially not like this. 2195 01:32:01,068 --> 01:32:02,369 I mean, this is ridiculous, 2196 01:32:02,369 --> 01:32:03,755 I mean, how many guys did you sleep with, 2197 01:32:03,755 --> 01:32:06,101 that I never give you shit about any of them? 2198 01:32:06,101 --> 01:32:08,017 - Those weren't guys you knew. 2199 01:32:08,017 --> 01:32:09,979 - What difference does it make if I know them or not? 2200 01:32:09,979 --> 01:32:11,731 - John, those girls 2201 01:32:11,731 --> 01:32:14,977 when we got back together they knew that I didn't know. 2202 01:32:14,977 --> 01:32:16,747 I must've been a laughing stock. 2203 01:32:16,747 --> 01:32:18,110 - Oh my God, nobody cared. 2204 01:32:18,110 --> 01:32:19,609 Nichole, nobody gave a shit!. 2205 01:32:19,609 --> 01:32:22,852 - Hey, put your fucking boyfriend, 2206 01:32:22,852 --> 01:32:25,599 and his little fucking sausage away. 2207 01:32:25,599 --> 01:32:27,240 - He's not my boyfriend. - What? 2208 01:32:27,240 --> 01:32:29,715 - Oh, okay, great, I don't fucking care, 2209 01:32:29,715 --> 01:32:32,267 and nobody wants to see his 'lil yogurt slinger out here. 2210 01:32:32,267 --> 01:32:34,285 Put it the fuck away! 2211 01:32:34,285 --> 01:32:35,357 - This is dumb, all right? 2212 01:32:35,357 --> 01:32:36,592 You have to take me back. 2213 01:32:36,592 --> 01:32:37,448 - Take you back? 2214 01:32:37,448 --> 01:32:38,281 - Yeah. 2215 01:32:38,281 --> 01:32:39,360 - I'm not even talking to you. 2216 01:32:39,360 --> 01:32:41,944 - We're talking right now. - No, we're not. 2217 01:32:41,944 --> 01:32:45,736 John, relationships are about sacrifice not apology. 2218 01:32:45,736 --> 01:32:46,933 Don't you understand that? 2219 01:32:46,933 --> 01:32:48,305 - You don't think I know about sacrifice. 2220 01:32:48,305 --> 01:32:49,736 Are you fucking kidding me? 2221 01:32:49,736 --> 01:32:51,407 - I sucked a fucking dick for you. 2222 01:32:51,407 --> 01:32:52,240 - What? 2223 01:32:52,240 --> 01:32:53,674 - Bitching to me about a fucking sacrifices, 2224 01:32:53,674 --> 01:32:54,544 are you kidding? 2225 01:32:54,544 --> 01:32:56,983 Complaining about getting laughed at in high school. 2226 01:32:56,983 --> 01:32:58,607 What about Nigel's wife? 2227 01:32:58,607 --> 01:32:59,461 Do you even think about that, 2228 01:32:59,461 --> 01:33:01,628 how's that any different? 2229 01:33:02,940 --> 01:33:07,731 I mean, do you even believe half the shit you even say? 2230 01:33:07,731 --> 01:33:08,844 What am I doing here? 2231 01:33:08,844 --> 01:33:10,517 - Great fucking question, I got an idea, 2232 01:33:10,517 --> 01:33:12,142 wrap your fucking cheese log up 2233 01:33:12,142 --> 01:33:14,775 before you squeeze it onto a cracker, 2234 01:33:14,775 --> 01:33:16,334 Get outta here. 2235 01:33:16,334 --> 01:33:18,264 - Okay, you know what? 2236 01:33:18,264 --> 01:33:19,181 This is it. 2237 01:33:20,104 --> 01:33:22,437 I really don't care anymore. 2238 01:33:23,873 --> 01:33:25,192 Live your life. 2239 01:33:25,192 --> 01:33:26,692 Have your affairs. 2240 01:33:27,578 --> 01:33:29,548 I can't keep up with this anymore, okay. 2241 01:33:29,548 --> 01:33:34,548 You've been fucking me up for eight years, eight years. 2242 01:33:34,944 --> 01:33:37,126 I just gotta get myself back on track. 2243 01:33:37,126 --> 01:33:39,043 - No, wait, John, wait. 2244 01:33:42,390 --> 01:33:45,099 ♪ Who are you now? ♪ 2245 01:33:45,099 --> 01:33:47,682 (upbeat music) 2246 01:33:49,422 --> 01:33:50,939 - You're sure about this? 2247 01:33:50,939 --> 01:33:52,106 - Yeah. - Good. 2248 01:33:53,352 --> 01:33:55,062 Welcome back to the land of the living. 2249 01:33:55,062 --> 01:33:57,670 - (laughs) No kidding. 2250 01:33:57,670 --> 01:34:00,087 - So how do you think we did? 2251 01:34:01,040 --> 01:34:01,904 - What in class? 2252 01:34:01,904 --> 01:34:02,855 - Yeah. 2253 01:34:02,855 --> 01:34:04,711 - Yeah, I think we got to a B in Robertson's, 2254 01:34:04,711 --> 01:34:06,602 'cause of the extra credit, 2255 01:34:06,602 --> 01:34:09,852 and then I got my A in chem, so that's... 2256 01:34:11,542 --> 01:34:13,231 - Shit! - What? 2257 01:34:13,231 --> 01:34:15,893 - That puts you pretty close to graduating, doesn't it? 2258 01:34:15,893 --> 01:34:19,903 - (chuckles) That kinda does. 2259 01:34:19,903 --> 01:34:22,031 You think we should? 2260 01:34:22,031 --> 01:34:23,948 - What graduate? - Yeah. 2261 01:34:26,971 --> 01:34:29,471 - All right, fuck it, why not? 2262 01:34:30,474 --> 01:34:32,169 And then what? 2263 01:34:32,169 --> 01:34:33,684 - I dunno, man. 2264 01:34:33,684 --> 01:34:36,403 Something, we gotta do something, right? 2265 01:34:36,403 --> 01:34:38,058 - Yeah. 2266 01:34:38,058 --> 01:34:39,156 How are you doing? 2267 01:34:39,156 --> 01:34:41,971 - Just give me a sec one more sec and I got it. 2268 01:34:41,971 --> 01:34:45,310 Oh, oh, dude. (laughs) 2269 01:34:45,310 --> 01:34:46,493 - Two minutes and three seconds, 2270 01:34:46,493 --> 01:34:47,720 what's the record for the hot tub. 2271 01:34:47,720 --> 01:34:50,859 - Steve my man, we just set it. 2272 01:34:50,859 --> 01:34:52,750 - Holy shit. - That's right. 2273 01:34:52,750 --> 01:34:53,750 - Oh my God. 2274 01:34:55,294 --> 01:34:58,574 - How do we not have girlfriends yet? 2275 01:34:58,574 --> 01:35:02,241 Years and years of trying this out. 2276 01:35:08,392 --> 01:35:11,412 ♪ There you go again ♪ 2277 01:35:11,412 --> 01:35:15,252 ♪ Doing the bare minimum ♪ 2278 01:35:15,252 --> 01:35:18,779 ♪ On a scale of one to 10 ♪ 2279 01:35:18,779 --> 01:35:22,712 ♪ You don't even make it to one ♪ 2280 01:35:22,712 --> 01:35:26,512 ♪ You're complacent with taking anything that you can get ♪ 2281 01:35:26,512 --> 01:35:28,395 ♪ You're so lazy on the daily ♪ 2282 01:35:28,395 --> 01:35:30,259 ♪ Never put the effort in ♪ 2283 01:35:30,259 --> 01:35:35,259 ♪ And it's pretty clear that you ain't looking to change ♪ 2284 01:35:37,762 --> 01:35:41,746 ♪ Like a catfish swimming way below the surface ♪ 2285 01:35:41,746 --> 01:35:45,310 ♪ Livin' off of what falls in too deep ♪ 2286 01:35:45,310 --> 01:35:47,137 ♪ Never try to rise up ♪ 2287 01:35:47,137 --> 01:35:48,907 ♪ 'Cause it'll be a burden ♪ 2288 01:35:48,907 --> 01:35:51,618 ♪ You know what you are ♪ 2289 01:35:51,618 --> 01:35:55,332 ♪ You're just a bottom feeder ♪ 2290 01:35:55,332 --> 01:36:00,332 ♪ You're just a bottom feeder ♪ 2291 01:36:00,850 --> 01:36:03,947 ♪ You've always gotten by ♪ 2292 01:36:03,947 --> 01:36:07,447 (ambient orchestra music) 2293 01:37:03,371 --> 01:37:05,954 (upbeat music) 2294 01:37:33,661 --> 01:37:36,828 (ambient piano music) 2295 01:38:11,487 --> 01:38:14,070 (upbeat music) 2296 01:38:26,916 --> 01:38:29,344 (people laughing) 2297 01:38:29,344 --> 01:38:32,177 (people shushing) 2298 01:38:35,851 --> 01:38:38,434 (upbeat music)