1 00:00:00,990 --> 00:00:04,460 -Howie, Howie, what do you think of this book? 2 00:00:04,460 --> 00:00:06,360 -I haven't read that book. 3 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:08,820 -Well, just judge by its cover. 4 00:00:08,820 --> 00:00:10,790 -You can't judge a book by its cover. 5 00:00:10,790 --> 00:00:11,690 -Oh. 6 00:00:11,690 --> 00:00:13,890 Well, how many chickens do you think 7 00:00:13,890 --> 00:00:16,550 are going to be hatched in Wyoming this year? 8 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:20,070 -You can't count the chickens before they're hatched. 9 00:00:20,070 --> 00:00:20,770 -Oh. 10 00:00:20,770 --> 00:00:23,860 Well, what do you think of today's show? 11 00:00:23,860 --> 00:00:25,940 -It's gonna be great. 12 00:00:25,940 --> 00:00:27,190 -Well, how can you tell? 13 00:00:27,190 --> 00:00:30,730 -Well, judging from the cover of today's script, 14 00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:32,030 I know there aren't any chickens in it. 15 00:00:32,030 --> 00:00:32,800 [RIMSHOT] 16 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,740 -But-- never mind. 17 00:00:39,590 --> 00:00:43,070 [THEME MUSIC] 18 00:01:39,220 --> 00:01:42,670 [MUSIC - "FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW"] 19 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,600 -When's it going to be time to eat, Mom? 20 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,720 -Well, my little mansy, if you help 21 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,800 me, it'll be sooner than you know it, don't you know? 22 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,090 -Sooner than I know? 23 00:02:10,090 --> 00:02:12,720 And they can kids say the darnedest things. 24 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:14,870 -You can be my little assistant chef. 25 00:02:14,870 --> 00:02:15,570 -Me? 26 00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:16,270 A chef? 27 00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:20,130 ANNOUNCER: (FRENCH ACCENT) The Food Channel 28 00:02:20,130 --> 00:02:22,290 is proud to present Cooking for Monsters 29 00:02:22,290 --> 00:02:25,330 with master chef Bobby de la "Generic." 30 00:02:25,330 --> 00:02:26,530 -That's "Gen-er-ic." 31 00:02:26,530 --> 00:02:28,330 ANNOUNCER: Oh, so sorry, monsieur. 32 00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:29,350 Generic. 33 00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:33,860 -(FRENCH ACCENT) Welcome, welcome, everyone to my show, 34 00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:37,500 how are we today, mon Captain Squash? 35 00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:39,350 -Mais oui, bon. 36 00:02:39,350 --> 00:02:41,730 What are we are making today? 37 00:02:41,730 --> 00:02:45,920 -Today, we are going to whip up a little sometime 38 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:49,840 to feed from one to 20 monsters. 39 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:53,250 Frankenstein French toast with Creature from the Black Lagoon 40 00:02:53,250 --> 00:02:58,270 legumes and mummy-marinated mussels. 41 00:02:58,270 --> 00:02:58,970 -Mm. 42 00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:01,390 What a description, Bobby. 43 00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:04,020 I can almost taste it. 44 00:03:04,020 --> 00:03:05,010 -Ooh, la la! 45 00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:07,490 First we must slice the carrots. 46 00:03:07,490 --> 00:03:08,970 Mwahahaha! 47 00:03:08,970 --> 00:03:10,950 It's a slice! 48 00:03:10,950 --> 00:03:12,440 It's a slice! 49 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,910 [LAUGHS IN TRIUMPH] 50 00:03:14,910 --> 00:03:17,950 MARTHA: Bobby, for the cry eye, quit playing with the food 51 00:03:17,950 --> 00:03:19,710 and come to the table. 52 00:03:19,710 --> 00:03:22,050 Kelly, Derek, Bobby! 53 00:03:22,050 --> 00:03:23,270 Oh, you're here. 54 00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:24,700 Howard! 55 00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:26,240 Dinner! 56 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,150 [CRICKETS CHIRPING] 57 00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:31,120 -Uh, I say six minutes after. 58 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,560 -Nah, I say about two minutes. 59 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,210 -Hun, how soon do you think it'll 60 00:03:34,210 --> 00:03:36,440 be before Uncle Ted shows up for dinner, huh? 61 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:37,470 -Hey, hey, hey. 62 00:03:37,470 --> 00:03:38,770 Now, ring it on. 63 00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:41,400 Don't be making fun of my big bro, Ted. 64 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:43,490 -I say in two seconds. 65 00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:44,870 -Hey, everyone! 66 00:03:44,870 --> 00:03:46,360 -I win! 67 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,090 -How'd you know? 68 00:03:47,090 --> 00:03:48,690 -We're having turkey cakes. 69 00:03:48,690 --> 00:03:51,050 It's Uncle Ted's second most favorite. 70 00:03:51,050 --> 00:03:52,740 -Pull up a chair, Ted. 71 00:03:52,740 --> 00:03:54,040 -Nope, not hungry. 72 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:55,020 -What? 73 00:03:55,020 --> 00:03:55,950 -No way! 74 00:03:55,950 --> 00:03:56,880 -Fatso first. 75 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,270 -You don't want to eat? 76 00:03:58,270 --> 00:04:00,210 -I'm too excited to eat. 77 00:04:00,210 --> 00:04:01,060 -Hmm. 78 00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:04,360 What could make Uncle Ted too excited to eat? 79 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,450 A sale on socks in a can? 80 00:04:07,450 --> 00:04:10,270 Or maybe a trout-on-a-stick cook-off. 81 00:04:10,270 --> 00:04:13,040 Or sliding a whoopee cushion under Aunt 82 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:14,930 Ruth at her bingo club. 83 00:04:14,930 --> 00:04:19,090 -I've won two nights and one day for four to Donner Pass Lodge. 84 00:04:19,090 --> 00:04:20,620 -Nice. 85 00:04:20,620 --> 00:04:22,840 -All I have to do is listen to a 90-minute sales pitch. 86 00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:23,630 That's a cinch. 87 00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:24,920 They're looking for people to buy 88 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,030 timeshare condominiums in their skiing complex. 89 00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:28,100 It's up in the mountains. 90 00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:28,860 -Mountains? 91 00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:29,830 -Skiing? 92 00:04:29,830 --> 00:04:32,740 -Lots of snow? 93 00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,680 -Who wants to go? 94 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,390 -I'd love to, Ted, but I just can't take the time off. 95 00:04:37,390 --> 00:04:39,440 -Well, I got the twins to take care of. 96 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,330 -Well, what about us kids? 97 00:04:42,330 --> 00:04:44,150 -[SCOFF] Like, get real. 98 00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:45,190 What about school? 99 00:04:45,190 --> 00:04:46,720 -You don't even know how to ski. 100 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:47,730 -I could learn. 101 00:04:47,730 --> 00:04:48,430 -Could not. 102 00:04:48,430 --> 00:04:49,390 -Could too. 103 00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:50,090 -Could not. 104 00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:51,250 -Could too. 105 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:55,170 -You know then there, that's not a bad idea. 106 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,180 You could take the kids on a Friday. 107 00:04:57,180 --> 00:04:58,590 It's just two nights and one day. 108 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,430 They wouldn't miss any school. 109 00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:01,930 -Do you know what you're saying, Martha? 110 00:05:01,930 --> 00:05:04,380 Kelly, Derek, Uncle Ted, and Bobby 111 00:05:04,380 --> 00:05:06,300 off together on their own? 112 00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:07,790 -Why not? 113 00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:10,570 Things would be quieter around here for the weekend. 114 00:05:10,570 --> 00:05:11,470 [CLICKS TONGUE] 115 00:05:11,470 --> 00:05:15,280 -Oh. (CHUCKLING) Oh, yes. 116 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:16,950 Then it's OK with me too. 117 00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,710 [MISCHIEVOUS CHUCKLE] 118 00:05:18,710 --> 00:05:20,850 [KIDS CHEER] 119 00:05:28,050 --> 00:05:30,650 -Well, let's just see what my little "goin' to the mountains" 120 00:05:30,650 --> 00:05:33,300 mansy is packing for the trip. 121 00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:34,520 -I'm ready to go. 122 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,630 -Well, hun, I don't think you should 123 00:05:36,630 --> 00:05:38,140 be takin' all this stuff. 124 00:05:38,140 --> 00:05:40,630 You'll need warm clothes to battle the elements, 125 00:05:40,630 --> 00:05:41,520 don't you know? 126 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:42,890 -Battling the elephants? 127 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:46,200 -Aah! 128 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,140 Help! 129 00:05:47,140 --> 00:05:48,560 Captain Squash! 130 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,700 -Hang on, Bobby, your hero is on the way. 131 00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:56,990 [GRUNT] Wow. 132 00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,640 We'll need a miracle, Bobby, if we 133 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,360 expect to battle these elephants. 134 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,100 MARTHA (VOICEOVER): Not elephants, Bobby. 135 00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:03,850 Elements. 136 00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:04,550 -Phew. 137 00:06:04,550 --> 00:06:06,970 Close call. 138 00:06:06,970 --> 00:06:09,970 -Now, look see, here's what you need to take. 139 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,920 Long underwear, a scarf, and gloves. 140 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:16,010 -You know, moms and kids sure have 141 00:06:16,010 --> 00:06:18,460 different ideas of what to pack for a trip. 142 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:23,170 [HORN HONKS] 143 00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:33,050 [ROGER BARKING] 144 00:06:40,490 --> 00:06:41,410 -Have fun! 145 00:06:41,410 --> 00:06:44,430 Hey, don't do anything I wouldn't do! 146 00:06:44,430 --> 00:06:45,580 -You all be careful. 147 00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:47,070 And mind your manners, Bobby. 148 00:06:47,070 --> 00:06:49,240 Kelly, Kelly, you watch out for Bobby. 149 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,690 And Derek, you call as soon as you get there, okay? 150 00:06:52,690 --> 00:06:54,400 [KIDS BIDDING FAREWELL] 151 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,210 HOWARD: And watch out! 152 00:06:55,210 --> 00:06:56,930 -I will! [CRASH] 153 00:06:56,930 --> 00:06:58,280 -For the garbage can. 154 00:06:58,280 --> 00:06:59,710 UNCLE TED: [CHUCKLE] That's a paint job. 155 00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:02,150 Okay, kids, fasten your seat belts. 156 00:07:02,150 --> 00:07:04,110 We're off to Donner Lodge! 157 00:07:04,110 --> 00:07:05,560 -This is gonna be great! 158 00:07:16,690 --> 00:07:19,530 -Okay, Bobbo, it's just two more hours now. 159 00:07:19,530 --> 00:07:24,490 --[SIGH] What can I do for two hours? 160 00:07:24,490 --> 00:07:25,390 I know. 161 00:07:25,390 --> 00:07:26,750 Car games! 162 00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,110 -Oh, count me out, Bobbo. 163 00:07:28,110 --> 00:07:29,660 Can't drive and think at the same time. 164 00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:31,140 You kids play. 165 00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:32,570 -Want to the alphabet game? 166 00:07:32,570 --> 00:07:36,130 I see something that starts with the letter A. 167 00:07:36,130 --> 00:07:37,430 -Forget it. 168 00:07:37,430 --> 00:07:39,350 -Can't hear. 169 00:07:39,350 --> 00:07:40,310 -I know! 170 00:07:40,310 --> 00:07:42,230 Want to play the license plate game? 171 00:07:42,230 --> 00:07:44,150 I see California! 172 00:07:44,150 --> 00:07:45,530 -That's a stupid game. 173 00:07:45,530 --> 00:07:48,750 If you like it so much, you play it. 174 00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:50,980 -Can't hear, sorry. 175 00:07:50,980 --> 00:07:54,110 -Car games aren't any fun if nobody plays. 176 00:07:54,110 --> 00:07:56,010 I know a fun game! 177 00:07:56,010 --> 00:07:58,380 Want to play What's That Smell? 178 00:07:58,380 --> 00:08:00,930 -Bobby, your car games are the worst. 179 00:08:00,930 --> 00:08:02,180 -Oh, yeah? 180 00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:03,920 -Yeah. 181 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:04,800 -I'll show him. 182 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:08,300 I'll make up The Ultimate Car Game! 183 00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:09,590 GARY OWENS: Hi, this is Gary Owens, 184 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:12,010 the host of The Ultimate Car Game! 185 00:08:12,010 --> 00:08:13,570 First you make the back seat bigger, 186 00:08:13,570 --> 00:08:16,060 then you stretch a rope ladder across the back. 187 00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:18,280 Then you add obstacle courses, contestants, 188 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:21,250 and a host, me, Gary Owens. 189 00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:22,280 Let's get down to fun. 190 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:23,610 Okay, Bobby. 191 00:08:23,610 --> 00:08:25,500 If you can get past your brother and sister 192 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,980 in the auto obstacle course, you win! 193 00:08:27,980 --> 00:08:28,720 -OK. 194 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:29,420 -Go! 195 00:08:35,670 --> 00:08:39,160 -We told ya, we don't want to play your stupid car games. 196 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,970 -This trip is going to be longer than I thought. 197 00:08:48,030 --> 00:08:48,940 -Here we are! 198 00:08:53,130 --> 00:08:53,830 -Wow! 199 00:08:59,690 --> 00:09:03,590 [TIRES SCREECH] 200 00:09:03,590 --> 00:09:04,360 -I get dibs! 201 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:05,060 -Uh-uh. 202 00:09:05,060 --> 00:09:06,630 You get what we don't want. 203 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:07,580 -That's right, Bobalina. 204 00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:09,650 You're low man on this totem pole. 205 00:09:14,530 --> 00:09:15,230 -Oh. 206 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,460 [BELL CLANGING] 207 00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,270 -May I help you? 208 00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:24,070 -Yes. 209 00:09:24,070 --> 00:09:26,100 I'm here with my three guests, who 210 00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:27,780 wish to partake of your hospitality 211 00:09:27,780 --> 00:09:29,660 while I consider investing in one 212 00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:31,550 of your guys's timeshare condos. 213 00:09:31,550 --> 00:09:34,410 The reservation is under Ted Nutzenberger Sven, 214 00:09:34,410 --> 00:09:37,600 but you can call me Uncle Ted. 215 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:40,930 -Certainly, Uncle Ted. 216 00:09:40,930 --> 00:09:43,090 This two-bedroom is representative 217 00:09:43,090 --> 00:09:45,150 of the timeshare condominiums. 218 00:09:45,150 --> 00:09:45,850 Enjoy. 219 00:09:49,170 --> 00:09:52,190 -This is it! 220 00:09:52,190 --> 00:09:54,330 -I'm first! 221 00:09:54,330 --> 00:09:55,030 -You mean last. 222 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:02,420 KELLY AND DEREK: Whoa. 223 00:10:02,420 --> 00:10:03,840 -Yippee! 224 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,620 -Now this is what you'd call sharp. 225 00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:07,970 Fit for a king. 226 00:10:07,970 --> 00:10:08,920 -Yeah. 227 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,300 This could fit a king. 228 00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:14,630 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 229 00:10:14,630 --> 00:10:16,860 -Hear ye, hear ye! 230 00:10:16,860 --> 00:10:19,450 All who are gathered in the court of King Bobby, 231 00:10:19,450 --> 00:10:22,260 now listen to his royal rules and obey 232 00:10:22,260 --> 00:10:25,480 them throughout the kingdom. 233 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:29,410 -I hereby rule that the kids can play-- a-hunka-hunka-- whatever 234 00:10:29,410 --> 00:10:30,980 games they want-- a-hunka-hunka-- 235 00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:32,650 whenever they want. 236 00:10:32,650 --> 00:10:37,510 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 237 00:10:37,510 --> 00:10:41,390 I-- hunka-hunka-- hereby proclaim no more bedtime. 238 00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:47,410 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 239 00:10:47,410 --> 00:10:49,030 -Me lord, me lord, a word? 240 00:10:49,030 --> 00:10:50,970 -A-hunka-hunka halt. 241 00:10:50,970 --> 00:10:53,540 Let the lowly peasant girl speak. 242 00:10:53,540 --> 00:10:54,960 -[SCOFF] No duh. 243 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:55,940 This isn't your room. 244 00:10:55,940 --> 00:10:57,400 [CONGREGATION GASPS] 245 00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,410 You're bunking with Uncle Ted. 246 00:10:59,410 --> 00:11:01,800 --[CHUCKLE] Get a move on, bird brain. 247 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,230 Kel and I are sharing this room. 248 00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:06,090 It's way too cool for you. 249 00:11:06,090 --> 00:11:06,980 UNCLE TED: OK, kids. 250 00:11:06,980 --> 00:11:08,820 I signed you up for a beginner ski lesson 251 00:11:08,820 --> 00:11:11,160 while I'm at the 90-minute sales presentation. 252 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,450 So, Kelly and Derek, I expect you 253 00:11:13,450 --> 00:11:15,960 to look after Bobby, all right? 254 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:16,760 -Whatever. 255 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:17,460 -Yeah. 256 00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,630 INSTRUCTOR: All right, listen, everybody. 257 00:11:21,630 --> 00:11:23,720 Here are a few important tips that you 258 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,430 can beginning skiers should remember. 259 00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:26,250 So pay attention. 260 00:11:29,510 --> 00:11:30,210 -Word. 261 00:11:30,210 --> 00:11:31,940 Those guys are so cute. 262 00:11:35,430 --> 00:11:37,620 -Wow, that's hot. 263 00:11:37,620 --> 00:11:41,670 -If we're supposed to be paying attention to our 'structor, how 264 00:11:41,670 --> 00:11:43,690 come I'm the only one doing it? 265 00:11:43,690 --> 00:11:46,480 INSTRUCTOR: And remember, if you get separated from your group 266 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,480 or anything goes wrong, there are 267 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,170 warming shacks on the mountain. 268 00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:51,660 And in those shacks, you're going 269 00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:55,320 to find phones and automatic heaters. 270 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:56,820 -Oh, who needs to listen to her? 271 00:11:56,820 --> 00:11:57,820 -[INAUDIBLE] 272 00:11:57,820 --> 00:11:58,520 -Totally. 273 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,440 How hard can it be to ski? 274 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:05,260 -Sometimes you just can't argue with your brother and sister. 275 00:12:05,260 --> 00:12:06,570 Are we supposed to go on this ride? 276 00:12:06,570 --> 00:12:07,430 -Oh, it's easy. 277 00:12:07,430 --> 00:12:08,470 Just watch me. 278 00:12:08,470 --> 00:12:10,070 -It's like being at the carnival, Bobby. 279 00:12:10,070 --> 00:12:10,770 -No! 280 00:12:16,940 --> 00:12:18,570 KELLY: You can open your eyes now, Bobby. 281 00:12:18,570 --> 00:12:19,270 See? 282 00:12:19,270 --> 00:12:19,970 This is fun. 283 00:12:19,970 --> 00:12:23,470 -How-how-how do you get off this ride? 284 00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:24,190 -It's easy. 285 00:12:24,190 --> 00:12:25,050 Just watch me. 286 00:12:25,050 --> 00:12:26,980 -OK. 287 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,420 [SKI LIFT CREAKS] 288 00:12:28,420 --> 00:12:31,800 [BOBBY SCREAMING] 289 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,360 [CRASH] 290 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:34,060 -See? 291 00:12:34,060 --> 00:12:36,340 It's easy. 292 00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:37,330 -Oh! 293 00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:38,310 Easy to fall. 294 00:12:38,310 --> 00:12:39,780 -You just need a little practice. 295 00:12:39,780 --> 00:12:40,760 Come on. 296 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:41,750 -Oof! 297 00:12:41,750 --> 00:12:43,220 DEREK: Yeah! 298 00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:44,200 Check this out, Bobby! 299 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,600 Aah! 300 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,070 Ugh! 301 00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:55,000 --[GIGGLE] Yeah, that was great, Derek. 302 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:58,760 -[SPITS] 303 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:00,530 -Now, this is the advanced run. 304 00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:02,260 Are you sure you can ski well enough to meet us 305 00:13:02,260 --> 00:13:03,200 at the bottom? 306 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:03,900 -(NERVOUSLY) Sure. 307 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:09,280 Whoa! 308 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:09,980 Whoa! 309 00:13:09,980 --> 00:13:11,190 Aah! 310 00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:12,660 [GRUNT] 311 00:13:12,660 --> 00:13:15,710 -Kelly, you okay? 312 00:13:15,710 --> 00:13:18,440 -[CRY] My ankle. 313 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:19,760 -I think it's sprained. 314 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,490 Bobby, ask someone for help! 315 00:13:21,490 --> 00:13:22,190 -OK. 316 00:13:27,420 --> 00:13:28,890 Everybody's gone! 317 00:13:28,890 --> 00:13:30,600 -(GRUNTING) OK, here you go. 318 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:31,290 -Ow! 319 00:13:31,290 --> 00:13:31,990 Ow! 320 00:13:31,990 --> 00:13:33,760 Oh, get off my foot! 321 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:35,410 -Now what do we do, Kelly? 322 00:13:35,410 --> 00:13:37,010 -Well, don't ask me. 323 00:13:37,010 --> 00:13:38,780 -Who else am I supposed to ask? 324 00:13:38,780 --> 00:13:40,260 There's no one else here! 325 00:13:40,260 --> 00:13:41,530 [ECHOING] 326 00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:43,720 -Sounds like there's only one person 327 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,290 who can get them through this. 328 00:13:45,290 --> 00:13:45,990 Me! 329 00:13:51,340 --> 00:13:52,720 DEREK: Come on, Kelly. 330 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,430 Think of something. 331 00:13:54,430 --> 00:13:55,140 -Me? 332 00:13:55,140 --> 00:13:55,840 Duh! 333 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,940 Can you not tell that I am trying not to freak out? 334 00:13:58,940 --> 00:14:01,180 -Yep, I know what to do. 335 00:14:01,180 --> 00:14:03,480 -[SCOFF] You? 336 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,850 -What are you babbling about, dweeb? 337 00:14:05,850 --> 00:14:09,260 -I'm talking about what our ski 'structor said. 338 00:14:09,260 --> 00:14:15,690 She said we're supposed to go there to the warming cabin. 339 00:14:15,690 --> 00:14:17,410 -I'm freezing. 340 00:14:17,410 --> 00:14:19,790 -My ankle is killing me. 341 00:14:19,790 --> 00:14:20,490 -Come on! 342 00:14:20,490 --> 00:14:21,470 It's not too far. 343 00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:29,280 -We made it. 344 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:33,320 --[SCOFF] Did you notice there's nobody here? 345 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:34,680 -What's the first thing to remember 346 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,690 in a tough situation, Bobby? 347 00:14:36,690 --> 00:14:37,960 -Don't panic. 348 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,680 -Right, Bobby. 349 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:40,380 -Don't worry. 350 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,740 We're OK here. 351 00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:43,310 Unless it gets colder. 352 00:14:43,310 --> 00:14:44,550 BOTH: Colder? 353 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:45,530 -Oops. 354 00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:46,470 Don't worry. 355 00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:50,560 I'll find a way to warm us up. 356 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:54,230 [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] 357 00:15:01,410 --> 00:15:02,890 If you're like me and can't read yet, 358 00:15:02,890 --> 00:15:06,630 I said, I will find fire and bring it back to the tribe. 359 00:15:09,330 --> 00:15:11,240 No fire here. 360 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,670 [EXOTIC CREATURE SOUNDS] 361 00:15:14,670 --> 00:15:16,160 No fire here. 362 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:21,120 [BUBBLING] 363 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,600 No fire here. 364 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:24,590 [SIZZLE] 365 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:29,080 -[GASPING] 366 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:32,170 [HOLLER] 367 00:15:32,170 --> 00:15:35,470 -Got it, Roger-tooth, you found fire. 368 00:15:44,730 --> 00:15:48,030 -I can't believe it. 369 00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:50,080 Like, how did you make this fire, Bobby? 370 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:51,010 -Easy. 371 00:15:51,010 --> 00:15:54,190 I just pushed the On button near the phone. 372 00:15:54,190 --> 00:15:55,710 -Phone? 373 00:15:55,710 --> 00:15:56,600 There's a phone! 374 00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,470 -Yeah, I used it to call the ski patrol. 375 00:15:58,470 --> 00:16:01,190 If you two had been listening to the ski 'structor, 376 00:16:01,190 --> 00:16:03,810 you would have known what to do in an emergency. 377 00:16:03,810 --> 00:16:04,510 -So? 378 00:16:04,510 --> 00:16:06,100 How long is it gonna take them to get here? 379 00:16:06,100 --> 00:16:08,430 My ankle is really starting to hurt. 380 00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:09,460 -Your ankle? 381 00:16:09,460 --> 00:16:10,920 My hands are still freezing. 382 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:12,410 I think I have frostbite. 383 00:16:12,410 --> 00:16:14,150 What do we do now, Bobby? 384 00:16:14,150 --> 00:16:15,080 -OK, OK. 385 00:16:17,990 --> 00:16:18,690 -You see, Bobby? 386 00:16:18,690 --> 00:16:21,680 Listening so you know what to do pays off. 387 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:24,160 You're no longer low man on the totem pole. 388 00:16:27,660 --> 00:16:29,100 -Yeah. 389 00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:30,030 Don't worry. 390 00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:31,420 I know what to do. 391 00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:33,500 Let me tell you a story. 392 00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:34,400 -Story? 393 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,400 My hands are freezing, Kelly's ankle hurts, 394 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,550 and you're gonna tell us a story? 395 00:16:39,550 --> 00:16:40,550 -Yep. 396 00:16:40,550 --> 00:16:45,130 Once upon a time, there was a little boy on another planet. 397 00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:48,150 To escape their dying planet, his parents 398 00:16:48,150 --> 00:16:49,610 sent him in a rocket ship to Earth. 399 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:03,840 The little boy discovered on this new planet 400 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,280 that he had superpowers. 401 00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:11,800 Luckily, he was found by Texas rangers 402 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,130 out looking for bad guys. 403 00:17:14,130 --> 00:17:16,260 When he grew up, they decided this visitor 404 00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:18,620 from another planet could use his superpowers 405 00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:20,450 to help them fight for justice. 406 00:17:20,450 --> 00:17:23,910 To hide his identity, they gave him a mask to wear. 407 00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:27,890 And when he wore the mask, he could transform into any shape. 408 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:40,630 -Somebody stop me! 409 00:17:40,630 --> 00:17:43,590 -Bobby, that story doesn't make any sense. 410 00:17:43,590 --> 00:17:44,290 -I know. 411 00:17:44,290 --> 00:17:47,190 But you forgot your owies while I fixed them. 412 00:17:47,190 --> 00:17:48,050 Look. 413 00:17:48,050 --> 00:17:50,180 -My ankle. 414 00:17:50,180 --> 00:17:50,880 -My hands. 415 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,210 It's a little trick I learned from Mom. 416 00:17:53,210 --> 00:17:55,460 It's easier to give medicine when you're thinking 417 00:17:55,460 --> 00:17:56,960 about something else, don't you know? 418 00:17:56,960 --> 00:18:00,860 [POUNDING ON DOOR] 419 00:18:00,860 --> 00:18:01,830 -It worked! 420 00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:02,820 We're saved! 421 00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:04,260 -At ease. 422 00:18:04,260 --> 00:18:06,160 The ski patrol is on the scene. 423 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:09,300 -[PANTING] And in record time. 424 00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:10,670 Under one half hour. 425 00:18:10,670 --> 00:18:12,010 -All praise to your leadership. 426 00:18:12,010 --> 00:18:13,770 You're simply the best. 427 00:18:13,770 --> 00:18:15,260 -We're the best, face it. 428 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:15,960 -We're the best. 429 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:16,740 -We're the team! 430 00:18:16,740 --> 00:18:18,250 [BOTH BARKING] 431 00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:18,950 -Really? 432 00:18:18,950 --> 00:18:20,550 You only took a half hour? 433 00:18:20,550 --> 00:18:21,660 It didn't seem like it. 434 00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:23,310 I guess I was caught up in Bobby's story. 435 00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:24,190 -Bobby? 436 00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:24,890 -My brother. 437 00:18:24,890 --> 00:18:27,620 He put my hands in room-temperature water. 438 00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:29,680 -Did you do this fine work, young man? 439 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:32,500 -Uh-huh, and I didn't panic either. 440 00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,470 -He didn't panic in a crisis. 441 00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:36,770 -That is the stuff that heroes are made of, young man. 442 00:18:36,770 --> 00:18:38,510 May I call you hero, young man? 443 00:18:38,510 --> 00:18:40,820 -Superhero is more like it. 444 00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:43,890 This young man single-handedly kept this group together 445 00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:46,540 for one half hour till help arrived. 446 00:18:46,540 --> 00:18:47,830 [CHOKES UP] Hold me. 447 00:18:47,830 --> 00:18:48,530 -Here. 448 00:18:48,530 --> 00:18:50,110 Here's your issue. 449 00:18:50,110 --> 00:18:51,090 -Wow. 450 00:18:51,090 --> 00:18:57,250 Now I know how Captain Squash feels after a job well done. 451 00:18:57,250 --> 00:18:58,590 [WIND WHISTLES] 452 00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:09,860 -Uh, Bobby? 453 00:19:09,860 --> 00:19:11,750 I'm kind of thirsty. 454 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:17,160 UNCLE TED: Oh, what a sales pitch. 455 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:18,060 This place is great. 456 00:19:18,060 --> 00:19:18,760 Heh. 457 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,090 I just wish I had the money to buy in. 458 00:19:21,090 --> 00:19:21,790 Oh, well. 459 00:19:21,790 --> 00:19:24,000 I've got souvenirs for everybody. 460 00:19:27,270 --> 00:19:28,920 Water wowzers! 461 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,370 Are you kids OK? 462 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,290 -Ski patrol said I'd be fine in about a day. 463 00:19:32,290 --> 00:19:34,840 -Yeah, you know, it looks worse than it is. 464 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,490 Bobby kind of, you know, helped us. 465 00:19:37,490 --> 00:19:39,750 -I was a superhero. 466 00:19:39,750 --> 00:19:42,430 -[CHUCKLE] I guess so. 467 00:19:42,430 --> 00:19:44,840 Well, I was gonna take everybody skiing, 468 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,980 but-- so what do you want to do now? 469 00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:50,260 -We can watch Captain Squash videotapes. 470 00:19:50,260 --> 00:19:52,530 Captain Squash on Treasure Island. 471 00:19:52,530 --> 00:19:53,740 It's a classic. 472 00:19:53,740 --> 00:19:55,500 -That's that last thing I wanted to do. 473 00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:56,200 Want me to barf? 474 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,050 -Get real. 475 00:19:57,050 --> 00:19:58,020 Let's hit a flick. 476 00:19:58,020 --> 00:20:00,240 --[CHUCKLE] Guess you're outvoted, Bobbo. 477 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:00,940 -Yeah. 478 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:09,180 If brothers and sisters were nice to you all the time, 479 00:20:09,180 --> 00:20:10,300 life would be pretty boring. 480 00:20:14,370 --> 00:20:16,760 -[STUTTERING] That's all, folks. 481 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:17,460 [GIGGLE] 482 00:20:20,750 --> 00:20:23,710 -So how do you feel being a hero, Bobby? 483 00:20:23,710 --> 00:20:25,590 -Well, touch my hand. 484 00:20:25,590 --> 00:20:29,570 I think I still feel the same, Howie. 485 00:20:29,570 --> 00:20:31,760 -Seriously, don't you feel just a little different 486 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,000 than you did before today's show? 487 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,120 -Yeah, I feel a little different. 488 00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:40,010 I feel looser in the front and tighter in the back. 489 00:20:40,010 --> 00:20:41,660 -From being a hero? 490 00:20:41,660 --> 00:20:42,360 -No. 491 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:43,990 From having my underpants on backwards. 492 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:51,160 [FLUTE PLAYING] 493 00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:04,040 [GIGGLING] 494 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:07,980 MARTHA: Bobby Generic, you've been up here all this in time 495 00:21:07,980 --> 00:21:11,340 and you're still bare?