1 00:00:29,119 --> 00:00:31,640 Good evening. 2 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,545 You should have seen the one that got away. 3 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:38,738 The only one I致e ever seen with gold lamy scales. 4 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:44,322 I知 sure all of you are interested in the details of this catch. 5 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,950 It's really a matter of finding the proper bait. 6 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:51,480 I soon learned that these little creatures can tell, 7 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:56,093 cheap costume jewelry on site and won't come near it. 8 00:00:56,293 --> 00:00:59,480 You must bait your hook with the real article. 9 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:03,580 And sometimes they make off with the bait before you can reel them in. 10 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:09,580 However, that's a situation with which most of you men are already familiar. 11 00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:13,741 Tonight's fable is entitled The Last Escape. 12 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,524 But first something from which there is no escape. 13 00:01:19,826 --> 00:01:22,176 THE LAST ESCPAE 14 00:02:01,675 --> 00:02:04,392 -Ok, are you ready mr Ferlini? -Ready. 15 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:47,382 Here, let me help you. 16 00:02:49,104 --> 00:02:50,617 No Tommy, that's him. 17 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,121 They liked your husband tonight. 18 00:02:55,495 --> 00:02:57,219 That kind of crowd. 19 00:02:57,419 --> 00:02:59,601 -They like you too. -Thanks. 20 00:03:00,857 --> 00:03:04,039 Tommy, I didn't mean that you know what I feel about you. 21 00:03:04,239 --> 00:03:07,806 -I mean about your singing. -is that all you mean? Just my singing. 22 00:03:08,006 --> 00:03:11,658 -Tommy me please. -It's all right he's in his dressing room. 23 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,476 It's not all right. I致e told you that it's never all right when he's around. 24 00:03:14,676 --> 00:03:16,338 Look, when am I gonna see you alone? 25 00:03:16,438 --> 00:03:19,816 -Please. -Got to give me an answer. -I got to go. 26 00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:29,174 Hi honey. I was great tonight just great. What do you say? 27 00:03:29,674 --> 00:03:30,774 The gratest. 28 00:03:30,848 --> 00:03:35,160 I could have gotten out the steel boxes tonight that's how good I felt. 29 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,395 Hey, did you get a load of that little guy who put me in a straight jacket? 30 00:03:38,595 --> 00:03:40,815 He thought he was gonna make it real tough on me . 31 00:03:41,015 --> 00:03:43,480 Heu said I was hauling on those straps. 32 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:46,774 Those little guys they're the worst. 33 00:03:47,299 --> 00:03:48,874 It' s a pleasure to fool them. 34 00:03:49,310 --> 00:03:51,316 Look at that, look. at that, honey. 35 00:03:52,351 --> 00:03:54,415 Would anybody take me for 46 years of age? 36 00:03:54,815 --> 00:03:57,247 -What do you say? -You're a greek god. 37 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:05,180 -Speaking of greeks. I致e been invited out to dinner tonight, Harry. -Ah Harry. 38 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:11,929 He spoils my appetite. I hear him talk and think the escape business was dead. 39 00:04:12,129 --> 00:04:15,121 Well he should have been out there tonight, he's no different. 40 00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:18,559 Well he booked into this joint, he ought to know whether it's dead or not. 41 00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:22,339 And uh listen Joe tonight when with Harry, 42 00:04:22,539 --> 00:04:24,775 I don't want to hear any more of that water business, 43 00:04:24,875 --> 00:04:27,065 you understand? I知 sick of hearing about it. 44 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,880 Uh you're getting old vanda that's your trouble. 45 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:34,083 That water trick's the best idea ever had it's going to make me a headliner. 46 00:04:34,283 --> 00:04:37,751 yeah don't you talk to me about age, you know kid yourself Joe. 47 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,808 Trick like that water trick might prove too much for you. 48 00:04:42,852 --> 00:04:44,185 No kid huh? 49 00:04:44,901 --> 00:04:48,763 I see 10 new wrinkles on your face in the last week, sugar. 50 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:53,486 You look at yourself lately? Go on take a look. 51 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,110 Here use a mirror. 52 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:57,825 Well go look at yourself. 53 00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:05,986 -Go on take a look. -Stop it Joe. -Who you calling an old man, huh? 54 00:05:06,186 --> 00:05:09,288 I知 younger new. I understand cause I keep in shape. 55 00:05:09,488 --> 00:05:13,619 -Don't you go calling me an old man, you hear me? -All right, all right. 56 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:22,228 Not everybody thinks I知 so old Joe. 57 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:26,688 -Not everybody. -Ah shut up, and get dressed. 58 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,982 So we're supposed to go out to dinner let's go out to dinner. 59 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:39,085 Besides I gotta talk to Harry about something. 60 00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:46,152 About the water trick. 61 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:55,495 But even he is dead, don't forget that. 62 00:05:55,962 --> 00:05:57,715 I know Houdini痴 dead. 63 00:05:58,063 --> 00:06:01,552 Only I知 alive me Joe Fellini. 64 00:06:02,168 --> 00:06:06,882 Yeah that's one thing about you Joe you never had any trouble with any false modesty. 65 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,379 What could Houdini do that I can't I? 66 00:06:11,948 --> 00:06:16,200 Work with ropes chains irons I can get out anything. 67 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:21,529 Sacks, bags, hampers, trunks, I could do all handcuff routines. 68 00:06:21,935 --> 00:06:26,634 And I still do the fastest straightjacket escape in the business. Besides, 69 00:06:26,834 --> 00:06:29,563 you know Houdini used to use a lot of trick stuff. 70 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:32,679 -And you don't? -Sure sometimes. 71 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:37,719 I got my skeleton keys phony bolts all that junk. 72 00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:41,283 But you know Harry I do most of my tricks with muscles, right? 73 00:06:41,383 --> 00:06:42,807 Sure, sure. Joe you're the greatest. 74 00:06:42,907 --> 00:06:44,447 All right keep in shape. 75 00:06:44,647 --> 00:06:47,544 Ask wanda here I work out an hour a day with the barbells. 76 00:06:47,644 --> 00:06:52,226 I still got great chest expansion I can do that water trick it'll be the greatest. 77 00:06:52,426 --> 00:06:55,405 But it's been done Joe that's what I致e been trying to tell you. 78 00:06:55,505 --> 00:06:57,905 People don't get excited about that kind of stuff anymore. 79 00:06:58,105 --> 00:07:01,139 You drink too much Harry your brain's soft. 80 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:04,411 Sure that trick's been done but that was years ago. 81 00:07:04,611 --> 00:07:06,388 There's a whole new generation today. 82 00:07:06,588 --> 00:07:10,438 All you got to do is handle that publicity right now, will be a sensation. 83 00:07:10,538 --> 00:07:11,583 Harry what do you say? 84 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,472 Okay how do you want to work the act? 85 00:07:23,845 --> 00:07:27,533 I expand they timing I relax the rope falls off. 86 00:07:27,733 --> 00:07:30,212 I got a skeleton key in a seam of the pants. 87 00:07:30,312 --> 00:07:33,220 As soon as I get the handcuffs off I reach into the pants, 88 00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:36,659 get out a razor blade cut myself out of the sack, 89 00:07:37,097 --> 00:07:39,020 get out of the false bottom of the trunk, 90 00:07:39,220 --> 00:07:41,240 and go to the surface of the lake like a cork. 91 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:44,439 -It's a cinch. -Yeah how good a swimmer are you? 92 00:07:44,639 --> 00:07:46,567 The greatest you don't have to worry about that. 93 00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:49,622 When I was a kid I was gonna swim the English channel. 94 00:07:49,822 --> 00:07:51,567 That's how good I was. 95 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,115 Well I could put you over in a motorboat, 96 00:07:55,315 --> 00:07:58,023 pick you up the same way, that'd lessen the risk. 97 00:07:58,123 --> 00:07:59,334 That'd be easy. I know you'd see it. 98 00:07:59,434 --> 00:08:00,950 Well I don't see it. 99 00:08:01,619 --> 00:08:03,886 Sounds to me like a ticket to the graveyard. 100 00:08:04,086 --> 00:08:09,172 Why? You're wrong, honey. This is a ticket to the big time, right Harry? 101 00:08:10,292 --> 00:08:12,001 Maybe, we'll have to see. 102 00:08:16,852 --> 00:08:19,872 -Tell me what are you doing here? -Well I had to see you. -I thought I don't... 103 00:08:19,972 --> 00:08:23,218 I know Joe isn't here. I saw him swimming in the lake. 104 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:33,819 What's all this swimming about anyway he's taking it awfully seriously. 105 00:08:34,719 --> 00:08:36,612 He's getting in shape. 106 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:40,032 -He's going for a long swim. -What? 107 00:08:40,948 --> 00:08:42,199 Tommy you shouldn't be here. 108 00:08:42,399 --> 00:08:46,695 -You don't want any trouble neither do I. -I didn't come here for trouble. 109 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,047 What did you come here for? 110 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,157 I didn't think I had to tell you. 111 00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:10,927 Wonder you've got to leave him. 112 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,081 It's getting worse all the time. 113 00:09:25,483 --> 00:09:26,983 You don't know what it's like. 114 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:34,215 Every year, every day. 115 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:39,319 All he thinks about night and day is the act. 116 00:09:39,519 --> 00:09:45,019 Escape, escape, escape, sometimes I think I知 going crazy Tommy I mean it. 117 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,953 When we were in Louisville last year I went to, 118 00:09:50,153 --> 00:09:52,902 a headshrinker for a while. Do you know that? 119 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:58,128 Three months it was. And he got that job in Vegas. 120 00:09:58,470 --> 00:10:00,029 that was the end of that. 121 00:10:01,279 --> 00:10:04,772 Ask me, he's the one that's crazy treating you the way he does. 122 00:10:05,694 --> 00:10:08,144 No he thinks about escaping in his sleep sometimes. 123 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,119 No kidding. 124 00:10:11,437 --> 00:10:14,687 Sometimes in the middle of the night he throws off the covers and takes a bath. 125 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,039 -Tommy? -Yeah? 126 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,981 -Would you do me a favor? -Certainly. 127 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,325 Would you put these on? 128 00:10:53,974 --> 00:10:55,482 Please. 129 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,652 Try it to get loose. 130 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,930 -I can't. -Of course you can't. 131 00:11:15,483 --> 00:11:16,583 Neither could Joe. 132 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:25,343 If he didn't have this hidden on him someplace. 133 00:11:28,301 --> 00:11:29,401 Now try it. 134 00:11:34,079 --> 00:11:37,625 -The key, it won't turn. -No of course it won't. 135 00:11:40,079 --> 00:11:41,592 It's the wrong key. 136 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:46,127 This is the right one. 137 00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:02,339 You know that water trick he does where? 138 00:12:03,357 --> 00:12:06,243 -He gets thrown into the lake. -Yes. 139 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,274 Well he's gonna do it in a couple of weeks. 140 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,357 That's what he's practicing for now. 141 00:12:20,959 --> 00:12:26,145 And you know what I致e been hoping and praying for ever since he decided to do it. 142 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,931 You better go now. 143 00:12:36,582 --> 00:12:38,396 In casey he comes back. 144 00:13:04,959 --> 00:13:08,138 Sure everything's all set I don't want anything to go wrong. 145 00:13:08,238 --> 00:13:09,580 I知 always all set. 146 00:13:10,262 --> 00:13:13,370 -You sure you feel okay, huh? -Never better. 147 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:22,161 Have a little kiss, honey, for good lu.ck 148 00:13:22,921 --> 00:13:24,969 Yeah sure, joe. 149 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:42,199 Chief Wallace, I壇 like you to meet the great Ferlini. 150 00:13:42,399 --> 00:13:47,609 -Fellini. -This is mr Ralph Kremens president of the local chamber of commerce. 151 00:13:48,416 --> 00:13:49,991 Frank Petty of the Tribune. 152 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:53,580 And you've already met our motorboat pilot mr Dave Brooks. 153 00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:57,230 Well let's get started it's a bit warm and I知 ready for a dip. 154 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,920 -Chief Wallace do you have the handcuffs? -Yes I have them right here. 155 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:07,597 Now chief Wallace you've examined these handcuffs are you sure they're genuine. 156 00:14:07,797 --> 00:14:11,427 -Oh they're genuine all right. -And will you place them on please. 157 00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:20,223 -Yeah. -May we have the rope please? 158 00:14:21,620 --> 00:14:24,374 Now will you gentlemen tie this rope around the body, 159 00:14:24,574 --> 00:14:27,716 of the great Ferlini and make as many knots as you wish. 160 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:32,830 I warn you mr Ferlini, I used to be a boy scout. 161 00:14:56,240 --> 00:15:00,529 There. Now mrs Ferlini may I have the sack please. 162 00:15:11,154 --> 00:15:15,582 Our gentleman lift the great Ferlini onto the sack please. 163 00:15:17,971 --> 00:15:20,746 Now pull the sack up over his head. 164 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,771 And fasten the top securely. 165 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:38,644 And now... 166 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:42,797 we have the trunk. 167 00:15:44,008 --> 00:15:48,706 Now you gentlemen have examined this trunk and tested its locks, is that correct? 168 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:52,129 The lock is okay but why do you have all these holes in the trunk? 169 00:15:52,329 --> 00:15:56,669 A good question. The holes are there to make the trunk sink faster. 170 00:15:58,070 --> 00:16:01,462 -Satisfied? -Okay. -All right. 171 00:16:01,818 --> 00:16:05,518 Will you gentlemen lift the great Ferlini into the trunk please? 172 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:19,260 Chief Wallace. 173 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:28,323 Chief Wallace will you secure the lock, please? 174 00:16:33,978 --> 00:16:36,076 Well now are you gentlemen satisfied that the, 175 00:16:36,276 --> 00:16:38,520 great Ferlini is securely locked in this trunk? 176 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:43,588 -We are. -Sure. -And we are ready to put him aboard the motorboat. 177 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,461 I sure hope they know what they're doing. 178 00:17:34,780 --> 00:17:38,150 -Is this all right mr Miller? -Yes this'll do fine. 179 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:45,259 All right Dave let's get this trunk overboard. 180 00:17:45,459 --> 00:17:46,559 Yes sir. 181 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,438 There he goes. 182 00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:16,935 He's not coming up mr Miller. 183 00:18:19,186 --> 00:18:20,470 He's got to come up. 184 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:23,691 He's got to. 185 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,630 He's not coming up. 186 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:17,281 Dear friends we are gathered here today, 187 00:19:17,881 --> 00:19:21,253 to consign the mortal remains of Joseph, 188 00:19:21,453 --> 00:19:25,077 Martin Ferlini to the earth which bore him. 189 00:19:26,241 --> 00:19:29,114 Who can say that Joseph Ferlini, 190 00:19:29,214 --> 00:19:32,359 in his last moment of earthly glory was not happy? 191 00:19:32,559 --> 00:19:35,207 In this choice which was made for him, 192 00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:39,421 by the almighty arbiter of life and death. 193 00:19:40,699 --> 00:19:42,320 Is this a Ferlini funeral? 194 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,444 Why yes. -But I知 sorry to break this up reverend but, 195 00:19:45,644 --> 00:19:47,962 I知 from the uh county coroner's office. 196 00:19:48,162 --> 00:19:50,923 I知 afraid the funeral services can't continue. 197 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:54,120 We have orders to attach the body of joseph Ferlini. 198 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:57,307 -But surely... -What's the matter? Something wrong? 199 00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:00,773 -I知 sorry ma'am, you mrs Ferlini? -Yes. 200 00:20:00,973 --> 00:20:03,466 But we have a court order to attach your husband's body, 201 00:20:03,666 --> 00:20:06,068 the coroner wanted me to make a further examination. 202 00:20:06,268 --> 00:20:09,184 I知 afraid I値l have to open the coffin. 203 00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:13,219 -Open the coffin? -Yes, at the caretakers cottage. 204 00:20:13,419 --> 00:20:15,108 We'll make the examination there. 205 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:18,935 Would you gentlemen please pick up the coffin and uh follow me? 206 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:25,303 Thank you gentlemen I値l call you when I need you. 207 00:20:25,503 --> 00:20:27,107 I知 sorry uh you must go. 208 00:20:39,679 --> 00:20:41,132 Don't look on there. 209 00:21:09,028 --> 00:21:11,992 Well you got to understand how it is in my business. 210 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,688 Everything is showmanship, everything. 211 00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:18,492 And that's why Ferlini made this deal with me. 212 00:21:18,692 --> 00:21:20,123 And just what was this deal? 213 00:21:20,799 --> 00:21:25,200 Well nobody knew about it but him and me. It was crazy, I told him that. 214 00:21:25,679 --> 00:21:29,253 But he made me promise him that if anything ever happened to him, 215 00:21:29,453 --> 00:21:33,216 if he should die that I would arrange a last escape. 216 00:21:33,679 --> 00:21:37,735 Something that would make him be remembered longer even than Houdini. 217 00:21:38,015 --> 00:21:40,356 -And that's all it was a trick. -A trick? 218 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:45,672 Look, I slipped the undertaker 50 bucks and he, 219 00:21:45,872 --> 00:21:48,839 arranged to have him buried someplace secretly. 220 00:21:49,039 --> 00:21:52,116 Then he put an empty coffin under the hearse and that guy from, 221 00:21:52,316 --> 00:21:56,298 the coroner's office he was a phony too just an actor I hired. 222 00:21:56,498 --> 00:21:59,586 So, you see what I mean? Showmanship. 223 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:04,355 I see, but I知 afraid that your showmanship, 224 00:22:04,555 --> 00:22:06,940 has had quite an effect on mrs Ferlini. 225 00:22:08,102 --> 00:22:10,756 -That's the unfortunate part. -Yeah. 226 00:22:12,060 --> 00:22:14,905 Well I feel pretty rotten about that, doctor. 227 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:20,988 -Could I see her? -I知 sorry mr Miller but that's impossible right now. 228 00:22:21,780 --> 00:22:23,631 Yeah well I understand. 229 00:22:24,799 --> 00:22:28,189 Well remember doctor if there's anything I can do... 230 00:22:28,407 --> 00:22:30,416 Thank you mr Miller, thank you. 231 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:04,933 Mrs Ferlini I really would try and rest if I were you. 232 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:31,478 You must remember that things are always much better than they seem. 233 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:35,141 That this is the best of all possible worlds. 234 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,681 That every cloud has a silver lining. 235 00:23:39,499 --> 00:23:42,517 And that it is darkest just before the dawn. 236 00:23:42,799 --> 00:23:47,009 I tell you this not because of what you have just experienced. 237 00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:49,787 But for what you are about to see. 238 00:23:51,679 --> 00:23:55,309 I suppose you're wondering what became of my catch. 239 00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:59,495 The game warden insisted I throw her back in. 240 00:23:59,695 --> 00:24:03,079 Because her measurements didn't meet specifications. 241 00:24:03,279 --> 00:24:08,779 In order to keep them they must be larger than 36 22 15. 242 00:24:09,672 --> 00:24:11,759 And of course it's quite difficult knowing, 243 00:24:11,959 --> 00:24:14,680 precisely where to take that last measurements. 244 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:19,240 Next week I should be back so let us hope I have some more luck in the meantime. 245 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,046 Until then, good night.