1 00:00:05,555 --> 00:00:08,816 Mom, can you, please take me driving? Please, please, please 2 00:00:08,851 --> 00:00:10,285 No, honey; I'm making dinner 3 00:00:10,296 --> 00:00:11,613 But you promised! 4 00:00:11,624 --> 00:00:13,207 I lied; Welcome to life 5 00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:15,629 Look, Kerry, could you just let.. 6 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,316 ..your driving obsession go for two minutes? 7 00:00:17,327 --> 00:00:19,285 Your cousin C.J. will be here any minute 8 00:00:19,325 --> 00:00:21,012 Ew! [Rory] PBHT!! 9 00:00:22,497 --> 00:00:23,997 All right; Excuse me 10 00:00:24,527 --> 00:00:26,941 If there's anything we have learned this year.. 11 00:00:26,958 --> 00:00:29,583 ..it's the importance of 'Family' [mumbling] 12 00:00:30,075 --> 00:00:31,515 And C.J. is family 13 00:00:31,547 --> 00:00:32,547 Eww.. PBHT!! 14 00:00:33,507 --> 00:00:34,655 Stop it! 15 00:00:34,666 --> 00:00:36,601 Why should we care about seeing him? 16 00:00:36,612 --> 00:00:38,936 When we were kids, he was a big, huge bully 17 00:00:38,947 --> 00:00:40,272 He stole all my army men 18 00:00:40,296 --> 00:00:41,575 And he took my Debbie doll.. 19 00:00:41,585 --> 00:00:44,811 ..to 'entertain' Rory's army men while they were on leave 20 00:00:44,835 --> 00:00:47,264 Then he blew them all up with M-80s 21 00:00:47,585 --> 00:00:49,265 The boy's a bad egg, Cate 22 00:00:49,288 --> 00:00:51,663 Well, what's your problem with him? Dad 23 00:00:51,687 --> 00:00:54,374 I loaned him money for his college education 24 00:00:54,403 --> 00:00:55,903 Huh, I didn't know C.J. went to College 25 00:00:55,919 --> 00:00:56,919 He didn't 26 00:00:57,794 --> 00:00:58,839 [Horn honking] 27 00:00:58,849 --> 00:01:00,130 All right; That's him 28 00:01:00,146 --> 00:01:02,911 Now, attitude adjustment, everybody 29 00:01:03,458 --> 00:01:05,133 C.J. is my sister's son 30 00:01:05,143 --> 00:01:07,385 So that's why we have to like him 31 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:10,088 No; That's why we have to feel sorry for him 32 00:01:11,096 --> 00:01:13,742 I know he wasn't the best kid, but people change 33 00:01:13,752 --> 00:01:16,017 [Doorbell rings] And he's been in the Army 34 00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:18,119 I'm sure he's grown up a lot 35 00:01:18,729 --> 00:01:21,526 Ahh.. Aunt Cate! C.J.! 36 00:01:21,636 --> 00:01:22,636 Whoo! 37 00:01:23,479 --> 00:01:24,479 All right 38 00:01:27,425 --> 00:01:30,135 This is it? This is as big as we get? 39 00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:32,354 Hey, everybody. It's good to see ya! 40 00:01:32,391 --> 00:01:35,586 Yeah, it's great to see you, too. Can you take me driving? 41 00:01:35,602 --> 00:01:36,602 Kerry. 42 00:01:37,368 --> 00:01:38,793 Is that my 'gampa'? Uhh. Uh 43 00:01:40,162 --> 00:01:41,997 Is that 'pap-pap'? 44 00:01:42,466 --> 00:01:45,013 'Ga-Ga', It's me! 45 00:01:45,732 --> 00:01:48,066 Please, don't get up! 46 00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:50,754 How's that College degree coming? 47 00:01:51,059 --> 00:01:53,276 That's a funny story; I didn't go 48 00:01:53,816 --> 00:01:55,816 But I am paying you back, 49 00:01:55,847 --> 00:01:58,034 in fact, here's a little downpayment 50 00:01:58,462 --> 00:02:01,211 It's not dope money, Is it? I don't take dope money 51 00:02:01,306 --> 00:02:03,500 Dad. C.J. just make yourself at home 52 00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:05,419 I'm gonna go check on dinner 53 00:02:05,678 --> 00:02:07,076 Don't worry, grandpa 54 00:02:07,087 --> 00:02:09,205 I've done quite well since I left the service 55 00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:12,427 Joined the carnival; Ran the 'Tilt-A-Whirl' 56 00:02:12,763 --> 00:02:14,038 The "tilt a whirl"? 57 00:02:14,049 --> 00:02:15,584 It tilts, it whirls It does it all 58 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:19,501 Strap in!! Watch 'em heave!! Here we go, people! Let's party!! 59 00:02:22,395 --> 00:02:24,442 Why the stink eye? 60 00:02:24,551 --> 00:02:26,661 You blew up our toys 61 00:02:26,927 --> 00:02:29,327 War is hell, tiny butch up 62 00:02:32,140 --> 00:02:33,981 $1.000.. 63 00:02:34,031 --> 00:02:37,739 ..or a big screen Tv, or 'A Las Vegas' getaway.. 64 00:02:37,763 --> 00:02:41,153 ..if you attend one time-share seminar 65 00:02:41,164 --> 00:02:44,849 Yeah, I guess you got to check out that time-share 66 00:02:45,060 --> 00:02:47,200 and buy a condo 67 00:02:47,248 --> 00:02:49,372 by tomorrow 68 00:02:49,623 --> 00:02:52,498 All right, everybody; Let's sit down for dinner 69 00:02:52,509 --> 00:02:54,110 I think I'll pass 70 00:02:54,165 --> 00:02:56,600 Bridget, Wow! [chuckles] Eh..eh 71 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:58,458 You are really, really- 72 00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:00,469 -related to you! 73 00:03:00,966 --> 00:03:04,246 Right. Got any friends who aren't? 74 00:03:04,676 --> 00:03:06,064 Can you take me driving? 75 00:03:06,074 --> 00:03:08,777 Nice try, Raggedy Ann; No, thanks 76 00:03:11,916 --> 00:03:14,525 So, C.J. you're really here 'cause of our dad? 77 00:03:14,556 --> 00:03:16,666 Oh, yeah; I love uncle Paul 78 00:03:16,681 --> 00:03:18,868 He was the one who drove me to the 'Recruitment Center' 79 00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:22,240 He said: "Join the Army. It'll make a man out of you"; It worked for me 80 00:03:22,260 --> 00:03:24,416 -Um, dad was never in the 'Service' -Yeah 81 00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:26,206 Wait, what? 82 00:03:27,394 --> 00:03:28,394 Aunt Cate 83 00:03:28,933 --> 00:03:31,073 Do you mind if I say grace? 84 00:03:31,534 --> 00:03:34,034 Well... my kids don't usually do that, 85 00:03:34,050 --> 00:03:36,935 but, yeah, that'd be a nice change 86 00:03:37,709 --> 00:03:40,295 It's nice when people change, isn't it? 87 00:03:40,779 --> 00:03:42,779 Everyone? 88 00:03:43,795 --> 00:03:44,857 Dear Lord, 89 00:03:44,928 --> 00:03:48,131 Thank you for the food we are about to receive 90 00:03:48,154 --> 00:03:51,498 and thank you, for-[cellphone rings] I gotta take this 91 00:03:52,127 --> 00:03:54,674 What's up?! You did not!! 92 00:03:55,799 --> 00:03:57,603 Oh, my God! [Door closes] 93 00:03:57,666 --> 00:03:59,510 Amen. 94 00:04:03,667 --> 00:04:06,979 Well, it looks like C.J. left without kissing me goodbye 95 00:04:06,995 --> 00:04:09,471 Oh, come on, Cate, I'm crying on the inside 96 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:13,060 Well, in a second, you'll be crying on the outside 97 00:04:13,071 --> 00:04:14,251 He spent the night in his van 98 00:04:15,156 --> 00:04:16,702 Okay, everyone, I need your help 99 00:04:16,712 --> 00:04:18,573 It is candid picture week at school 100 00:04:18,584 --> 00:04:19,589 What's that? 101 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,223 It's when the yearbook staff take your picture 102 00:04:21,233 --> 00:04:22,433 when you least expect it. 103 00:04:22,444 --> 00:04:24,066 They give me advance notice every year 104 00:04:24,090 --> 00:04:25,877 Um, Kerry, you might want to run a brush through that 105 00:04:25,887 --> 00:04:28,231 So, I need help choosing my candid poses 106 00:04:28,262 --> 00:04:30,262 Maybe tomorrow, we can narrow down colleges 107 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:32,708 Mom, let's be serious for like, 2 seconds, okay? 108 00:04:32,763 --> 00:04:35,642 All right; So here is me chatting with friends 109 00:04:35,986 --> 00:04:38,939 Here is me studying for a test for finals 110 00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:42,884 And, her's me, just being me 111 00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:47,033 And now, do you looking mindless 112 00:04:47,043 --> 00:04:49,785 What? Oh, you nailed it! 113 00:04:50,829 --> 00:04:52,118 Oh, it's cold out there! 114 00:04:52,129 --> 00:04:54,292 You mind if I plug this in and borrow some electricity.. 115 00:04:54,316 --> 00:04:55,621 ..for a little space heater? 116 00:04:55,644 --> 00:04:57,011 No, help yourself 117 00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,864 Can I borrow a little space heater? 118 00:04:58,888 --> 00:05:01,200 Well, didn't you come in the house last night? 119 00:05:01,223 --> 00:05:02,559 Somebody locked the dead bolt 120 00:05:02,576 --> 00:05:04,226 Yeah, I know. [Laughs] 121 00:05:07,587 --> 00:05:11,187 You know, why don't you guys catch up while I make breakfast? 122 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,044 Well, C.J. 123 00:05:15,669 --> 00:05:17,387 When are you gonna be leaving? 124 00:05:17,398 --> 00:05:20,679 Dad, - No, no; What I meant was, ah.. 125 00:05:20,715 --> 00:05:24,539 How long is it gonna be, before you're not here anymore 126 00:05:24,772 --> 00:05:28,014 Well, you left in a hurry last night What was the big emergency? 127 00:05:28,063 --> 00:05:30,322 I happened to score the last two tickets 128 00:05:30,346 --> 00:05:32,494 for the Aerosmith Concert, this weekend 129 00:05:32,517 --> 00:05:34,088 You walked out on Cate's dinner 130 00:05:34,119 --> 00:05:37,159 to get a couple of tickets to a rock'n'roll show? 131 00:05:37,222 --> 00:05:40,885 I know you're excited, 'potsie', but I only got two tickets. 132 00:05:41,699 --> 00:05:44,597 Mom, I'm not feeling well I'm not gonna go to school 133 00:05:44,637 --> 00:05:46,964 Oh, honey. You all right? 134 00:05:46,988 --> 00:05:49,799 You know, there's a stomach thing going around 135 00:05:49,847 --> 00:05:51,799 Yeah. Oh! My stomach. 136 00:05:54,885 --> 00:05:57,350 I'll just have my eggs in my room 137 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:58,860 Where's the tabasco? 138 00:05:59,681 --> 00:06:04,415 All right; What's going on? - Nothing I can talk to you about 139 00:06:05,142 --> 00:06:06,451 Rory! 140 00:06:07,444 --> 00:06:08,444 Ah... 141 00:06:09,451 --> 00:06:11,236 He's got that look again 142 00:06:11,247 --> 00:06:12,966 He needs a guy to talk to 143 00:06:13,436 --> 00:06:15,287 Eh, I'll go 144 00:06:17,053 --> 00:06:19,637 He needs a guy to talk to today 145 00:06:20,269 --> 00:06:22,394 Did you see that? Did you see that?! 146 00:06:22,426 --> 00:06:23,858 I know, dad 147 00:06:26,334 --> 00:06:27,459 [Knock on door] 148 00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:29,841 Hi Hey 149 00:06:32,318 --> 00:06:34,828 I like what you've done with the place 150 00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:39,286 Let me guess. Girly mags behind the headboard? -No! 151 00:06:40,177 --> 00:06:41,177 Yes. 152 00:06:43,412 --> 00:06:45,270 Listen, I know it's been a while 153 00:06:45,294 --> 00:06:48,446 since the whole army men- [imitates explosion] 154 00:06:49,141 --> 00:06:50,646 But if you ever want to talk- 155 00:06:50,657 --> 00:06:52,032 Okay, see, there's this girl, Missy 156 00:06:52,043 --> 00:06:54,180 who's got these eyes that make me forget how to walk 157 00:06:54,191 --> 00:06:55,230 and, when I'm around- 158 00:06:55,243 --> 00:06:57,993 Easy, Mary; Let's skip the walks on the beach 159 00:06:58,362 --> 00:07:00,893 [sighs] Keep it surfacey Ok, she's hot. I get it. Continue 160 00:07:00,904 --> 00:07:03,806 Yeah, she's got the prettiest eyes-Eh!, steady 161 00:07:05,335 --> 00:07:07,389 [sighs] After we got done studying last night 162 00:07:07,406 --> 00:07:09,679 we were saying goodbye on her front porch 163 00:07:09,710 --> 00:07:12,405 and I think she might have wanted me to kiss her 164 00:07:12,421 --> 00:07:13,996 And I choked. I suck. 165 00:07:14,015 --> 00:07:16,783 You every try to kiss a girl and she whips her head back? 166 00:07:16,807 --> 00:07:19,747 That is the worst. It's happened to me 5.000 times 167 00:07:20,102 --> 00:07:22,698 They would rathercrack their head against he cement wall behind them 168 00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,552 than have your gross lips touch- Okay! 169 00:07:25,021 --> 00:07:26,146 Mary; My story? 170 00:07:29,017 --> 00:07:31,235 See, I've kissed girls before 171 00:07:31,275 --> 00:07:34,579 I've just... never kissed a girl that way 172 00:07:35,220 --> 00:07:38,493 You know; With the, uh.. - Dude! 173 00:07:41,089 --> 00:07:42,739 Don't... dont do that 174 00:07:43,438 --> 00:07:45,243 There's this dance coming up 175 00:07:45,254 --> 00:07:47,632 I figure at some point, I might have to, you know- 176 00:07:47,643 --> 00:07:50,039 Well, Dude, what did I just say?! 177 00:07:50,787 --> 00:07:53,362 Keep the tongue in or I walk; All right? 178 00:07:54,627 --> 00:07:57,377 It, it's just... I don't want to do it wrong 179 00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,090 It's a lot of pressure 180 00:07:59,459 --> 00:08:01,703 C.J., You've gone out with a lot of girls, right 181 00:08:01,734 --> 00:08:03,945 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah, lots 182 00:08:04,334 --> 00:08:06,834 Carny groupies... Carny groupies wanabies 183 00:08:07,889 --> 00:08:09,633 You know, kissing's like anything else 184 00:08:09,673 --> 00:08:11,386 If you wanto to get good you got to practice 185 00:08:11,397 --> 00:08:12,922 Lots and lots of practice 186 00:08:12,933 --> 00:08:14,449 You're pretty smart, C.J. 187 00:08:14,481 --> 00:08:17,418 Well, you know, they don't let just anyone in the Army 188 00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:20,657 Really? I heard they did 189 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,626 [Bridget gasps] Nooo..!! - What?! 190 00:08:23,892 --> 00:08:25,478 Jeez, Bridget, what is it? 191 00:08:25,502 --> 00:08:28,402 You finally realized it's all downhill from here? 192 00:08:28,413 --> 00:08:29,894 Oh, my God! I knew it! 193 00:08:29,905 --> 00:08:32,454 There's a huge volcanic growth brewing at the end for my nose.. 194 00:08:32,465 --> 00:08:34,933 ..just 7 hours before my candid picture day begins! 195 00:08:34,944 --> 00:08:36,611 Why don't you just cover it? 196 00:08:36,622 --> 00:08:38,878 With a ski mask 197 00:08:38,889 --> 00:08:40,081 Okay, you know -I need medicine 198 00:08:40,092 --> 00:08:41,289 We have to go to The Drug Store 199 00:08:41,300 --> 00:08:43,549 Sometimes you can outsmart them with a pre-emptive strike 200 00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:44,789 Well; What do you need me for? 201 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,002 'Cause it's dark, and I'm scared and I need you to buy it 202 00:08:47,020 --> 00:08:49,955 'cause I can't be seen getting zit medicine. So, let's go! C'nm!! 203 00:08:49,972 --> 00:08:52,416 No. -Please! - No! -Please 204 00:08:53,416 --> 00:08:55,454 Ok; I'll go with you on one condition.. 205 00:08:55,465 --> 00:08:56,649 I get to drive 206 00:08:56,689 --> 00:08:58,836 Um, no. No, no. You only have your learner's permit 207 00:08:58,861 --> 00:08:59,970 It's too risky; No. 208 00:08:59,981 --> 00:09:03,329 So is being photographed looking like a dalmatian. -Ohh!! 209 00:09:07,657 --> 00:09:11,068 I told you; You hit a pole. I looked! I swear I didn't see anything! 210 00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:14,318 'Cause it was dark! I can't believe I let you drive. Mom is gonna kill us! 211 00:09:14,350 --> 00:09:15,775 Ladies. 212 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,460 -Hey -Hello 213 00:09:17,898 --> 00:09:19,718 You know, your mom will never notice that dent.. 214 00:09:19,742 --> 00:09:21,844 ..if you stand that way forever 215 00:09:24,327 --> 00:09:27,239 Whoa! No you didn't 216 00:09:28,389 --> 00:09:29,389 Mmm... 217 00:09:29,541 --> 00:09:32,564 Paint scraped, different color, nervous teens 218 00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:35,291 Obviously, you did this sneaking out last night 219 00:09:35,323 --> 00:09:38,385 [gasps] Bridget, he doesn't know what he's talking about 220 00:09:38,401 --> 00:09:40,604 You drove! You let her! 221 00:09:40,909 --> 00:09:41,915 Prove it! 222 00:09:41,925 --> 00:09:44,018 Seat's way up, Mirror's way down been there 223 00:09:44,489 --> 00:09:46,543 Ohh, I'm so impressed, Mr Carny-man 224 00:09:46,562 --> 00:09:48,301 What are you gonna do next, guess my weight? 225 00:09:48,348 --> 00:09:49,629 101 [gasps] 226 00:09:50,161 --> 00:09:53,276 Motive, Why?, why?, why? 227 00:09:54,065 --> 00:09:56,362 What could it be? 228 00:09:57,276 --> 00:09:58,276 Ahh.. 229 00:09:58,841 --> 00:10:02,130 Hello, my little red friend 230 00:10:02,248 --> 00:10:03,248 Wow, 231 00:10:03,356 --> 00:10:07,131 Okay. It's night. Teenage girl finds a zit 232 00:10:07,358 --> 00:10:09,233 and a doozy, at that 233 00:10:09,538 --> 00:10:12,288 Mom won't let you out this late So it's midnight run time.. 234 00:10:12,304 --> 00:10:14,324 ..for a little Benzoyl peroxide 235 00:10:14,410 --> 00:10:16,488 Kerry, you get to drive but you have to buy the cream 236 00:10:16,499 --> 00:10:19,063 'cause Pamela here can't be seen buying that kind of goop 237 00:10:19,074 --> 00:10:21,375 Should I keep going, or have you heard enough? 238 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,060 Where' you learn to do that? 239 00:10:23,102 --> 00:10:25,664 In the army. Studying aerial photos 240 00:10:25,872 --> 00:10:29,291 In a split second, I had to decide: Weapon of mass destruction.. 241 00:10:29,370 --> 00:10:31,338 ..or just a dude 242 00:10:31,581 --> 00:10:33,424 [Cate sighs] Hi! 243 00:10:34,010 --> 00:10:36,221 What's everydody doing out here? 244 00:10:36,245 --> 00:10:38,010 [Gasps] Wha-? 245 00:10:38,564 --> 00:10:40,236 Oh, no! 246 00:10:40,563 --> 00:10:42,236 What happened? 247 00:10:42,312 --> 00:10:43,959 Ahh! I don't need this! 248 00:10:44,420 --> 00:10:45,420 Mom 249 00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:46,721 We, uh- 250 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:47,760 I dit it 251 00:10:48,479 --> 00:10:50,182 [Both] He did it! 252 00:10:50,377 --> 00:10:51,375 You? 253 00:10:51,385 --> 00:10:55,588 Yeah; Sorry, it was late last night. There was an emergency 254 00:10:55,674 --> 00:10:58,635 I didn't have time to umplug my wan, so I borrowed your car 255 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,969 I found it! That way in the parking lot 256 00:11:00,979 --> 00:11:04,671 And they call it a 'Gentleman's Club'. [disappointed] -C.J. 257 00:11:08,004 --> 00:11:11,625 Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Oh, why did you do that? 258 00:11:11,636 --> 00:11:13,683 Come on; You're family 259 00:11:13,738 --> 00:11:16,678 Blood is thicker than- Oh, my God! It's caring me! 260 00:11:20,543 --> 00:11:21,871 Mom? 261 00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:26,714 I need you to sign this; I'm kind of in trouble 262 00:11:27,066 --> 00:11:28,667 What is it? 263 00:11:32,345 --> 00:11:36,923 "Improper displays of affection in the halls, without a pass" 264 00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:40,767 What, did you kiss Missy in the hallway? 265 00:11:40,869 --> 00:11:43,702 It wasn't Missy. It was Robin Rendell 266 00:11:43,717 --> 00:11:47,272 She's always kind of had a crush on me plus I need the practice 267 00:11:47,905 --> 00:11:50,123 You needed practice kissing? 268 00:11:50,134 --> 00:11:53,314 You are a 14 y.o. boy. You're not supoosed to be good. 269 00:11:53,873 --> 00:11:56,600 C.J. told me I should practice kissing lots of other girls.. 270 00:11:56,611 --> 00:11:59,851 ..so I'd be good when I, finally, get my hands on Missy 271 00:11:59,866 --> 00:12:03,514 Get your hands on-on- C.J. told you this? 272 00:12:03,569 --> 00:12:04,569 Yeah 273 00:12:05,077 --> 00:12:07,387 Well; Did he also tell you that.. 274 00:12:07,398 --> 00:12:09,903 ..you'd be having a month of saturday detentions? 275 00:12:09,926 --> 00:12:11,727 What? Mmmm 276 00:12:11,738 --> 00:12:14,488 Rory, give me a minute [Jim] I love that C.J. 277 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:18,493 I'm gonna shout it from the rooftops 278 00:12:18,908 --> 00:12:22,923 Now, look, dad; We haven't heard C.J.'s side of the story 279 00:12:22,947 --> 00:12:26,608 And, when we do, then we can wring his scrawny little neck 280 00:12:26,619 --> 00:12:29,546 You know, it's one thing to give someone, the benefit of the doubt 281 00:12:29,556 --> 00:12:32,496 But, I cannot stand when a member of my own family.. 282 00:12:32,507 --> 00:12:35,966 ..is lying straight to my face -[Bridget wimpering] 283 00:12:37,107 --> 00:12:40,638 She was just practicing her scared pose. Good one, Brig'! 284 00:12:41,670 --> 00:12:44,337 [Bridget breathing heavily] [Kerry] What's wrong with you?! 285 00:12:44,348 --> 00:12:46,262 Kerry, she knows! She knows everything! 286 00:12:46,273 --> 00:12:49,795 I can't take this anymore! I've to confess right now!! 287 00:12:49,806 --> 00:12:52,264 Stop it! You're being histerical! I can't -ohh 288 00:12:52,275 --> 00:12:53,275 Uh! 289 00:12:54,056 --> 00:12:55,056 Ow! Quit it! 290 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,473 [arguing] Auhh! Okay, calm down, Bridget! 291 00:12:59,119 --> 00:13:00,260 Bridget!! 292 00:13:00,271 --> 00:13:01,307 You're being paranoid! 293 00:13:01,318 --> 00:13:03,182 No, I'm not; Didn't you hear her? She said: .. 294 00:13:03,193 --> 00:13:05,525 .."I can't stand a family member lying to my face"! 295 00:13:05,536 --> 00:13:07,432 Look; If mom knew we took out the car 296 00:13:07,448 --> 00:13:09,447 Why wouldn't she just come out and say something? 297 00:13:09,469 --> 00:13:11,723 Because she is toying with us 298 00:13:11,942 --> 00:13:13,938 She wants us to come clean 299 00:13:13,949 --> 00:13:15,823 but all we keep doing is lying 300 00:13:15,833 --> 00:13:17,614 and... Aow!! 301 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,926 [Music playing in the van] 302 00:13:24,396 --> 00:13:26,513 [C.J.] Hey, hey, come on in, man 303 00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:30,260 Grab a seat in the bed [water bed sound] 304 00:13:30,271 --> 00:13:31,862 Hey! Oh! - Woww.. 305 00:13:31,873 --> 00:13:34,060 I ought to mess you up, man 306 00:13:34,092 --> 00:13:36,568 It's really hard to be taken seriously on this stupid bed 307 00:13:36,592 --> 00:13:38,146 Yeah; Tell me about it 308 00:13:38,157 --> 00:13:39,357 This isn't funny 309 00:13:39,397 --> 00:13:42,337 I took your stupid advice and kissed Robin Rendell 310 00:13:42,358 --> 00:13:44,060 Oh, yeah? How'd it go? 311 00:13:44,272 --> 00:13:45,966 She said I opened my mouth too wide 312 00:13:45,983 --> 00:13:47,607 Uhh .. Ha .. Ha, rookie mistake 313 00:13:47,631 --> 00:13:49,998 She said it was like sticking her face in a bucket 314 00:13:50,014 --> 00:13:52,327 If I had a nickel- The point is..!! 315 00:13:52,338 --> 00:13:54,400 ..then, Missy found out I kissed someone else 316 00:13:54,411 --> 00:13:56,299 and told me I could forget about the dance 317 00:13:56,309 --> 00:13:59,317 she said she wouldn't kiss me if I were the last guy on Earth 318 00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:02,840 Rory, "I wouldn't kiss you if you were the last guy on Earth" 319 00:14:02,862 --> 00:14:05,635 is a rite of passage. Every guy hears that at some point 320 00:14:05,675 --> 00:14:08,471 It's like: "You are old and gross" 321 00:14:08,550 --> 00:14:11,307 "Ferrari doesn't make vans" 322 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:16,264 "So help me God, take one more step I'll bash your head in with this rock", C'n! 323 00:14:16,311 --> 00:14:18,321 You don't understand. Now, Missy will probably.. 324 00:14:18,332 --> 00:14:20,174 ..hook up with someone else at the dance.. 325 00:14:20,185 --> 00:14:22,348 ..and forget all about me 326 00:14:22,442 --> 00:14:25,744 Ahh, Come here, Look Rory 327 00:14:26,002 --> 00:14:28,783 I'm really, really sorry that happened to you, pal 328 00:14:29,291 --> 00:14:32,002 But I kinda got to get moving 329 00:14:32,013 --> 00:14:34,018 Well; What do I do about Missy? 330 00:14:34,049 --> 00:14:35,681 Can we talk about it after the concert? 331 00:14:35,691 --> 00:14:37,507 Or actually, maybe in a couple of days 332 00:14:37,517 --> 00:14:39,485 'cause tonight's gonna be really great 333 00:14:39,495 --> 00:14:42,695 and this conversations seems like it's got 'Buzz killer' written all over it, 334 00:14:42,706 --> 00:14:46,861 but I'm gonna snag you a light skick. How about that? -Right 335 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,361 Rory!! 336 00:14:56,283 --> 00:15:00,246 Come on, man. We'll talk on the way to the show 337 00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:10,020 Where's Rory? Hey Cate. 338 00:15:10,062 --> 00:15:12,302 Where's Rory? 339 00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:15,058 He's coming; He's in the van. 340 00:15:15,069 --> 00:15:17,488 You told Rory that he could get a girl to like him.. 341 00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:20,164 ..by practicing kissing on another girl? 342 00:15:20,501 --> 00:15:23,077 I told him to practice, but I meant like.. 343 00:15:23,101 --> 00:15:26,850 ..on his hand, or in the mirror... on plush toys 344 00:15:27,374 --> 00:15:28,870 You kiss plush toys? 345 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,231 No, you kiss plush toys 346 00:15:31,247 --> 00:15:32,988 You know, C.J., ehm.. 347 00:15:33,093 --> 00:15:34,587 I gave you a chance 348 00:15:34,597 --> 00:15:37,316 because I thought maybe you had matured 349 00:15:37,974 --> 00:15:39,576 but it's become pretty obvious 350 00:15:39,587 --> 00:15:41,490 that we were just another place to crash 351 00:15:41,501 --> 00:15:44,189 while you followed 'Aerosmith' on their tour -Buff 352 00:15:47,118 --> 00:15:49,868 I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave 353 00:15:51,212 --> 00:15:53,575 Wow, Ouch. 354 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,614 Some birthday 355 00:15:57,427 --> 00:15:59,959 Now ask him for my money 356 00:16:00,178 --> 00:16:01,521 Dad, please... 357 00:16:01,811 --> 00:16:03,491 Hi mom! Hi, Mrs. Hennessy! 358 00:16:03,678 --> 00:16:04,678 Hi Missy! 359 00:16:05,029 --> 00:16:07,474 Did I tell you, you could go to a concert? 360 00:16:07,506 --> 00:16:09,539 I didn't. I went to the school dance. - What?! 361 00:16:09,563 --> 00:16:11,781 Oh, rory was so cute; He came in, brought me a rose 362 00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:13,867 I felt just like the bachelorette 363 00:16:15,347 --> 00:16:18,479 C.J. drove me there. I was too scared to go in 364 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,269 Then he convinced me I should 365 00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:22,784 When I got there, she looked so pretty, I got butterflies- 366 00:16:22,801 --> 00:16:24,800 Eh - steady 367 00:16:25,973 --> 00:16:26,973 Right. 368 00:16:28,317 --> 00:16:30,184 Sorry you missed your 'Aerosmith Concert' 369 00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:32,223 It's cool. [Cate] -You didn't go? 370 00:16:32,234 --> 00:16:34,167 Anyway, I'm gonna walk Missy home 371 00:16:34,177 --> 00:16:37,575 Hey, don't you two take french class ..together?! -Shhh.. 372 00:16:39,763 --> 00:16:42,431 Wow, I cant't believe you gave up your concert 373 00:16:42,442 --> 00:16:43,864 It's no biggie 374 00:16:46,018 --> 00:16:49,568 Wow, these are really good seats -Yeah, yeah 375 00:16:49,896 --> 00:16:53,427 No, no, I mean, incredible seats -Yeah, Thank you. 376 00:16:54,349 --> 00:16:56,183 Yeah; Well, it has been fun. 377 00:16:56,233 --> 00:16:59,533 Why don't you drop by when you can stay a little longer? 378 00:17:02,530 --> 00:17:03,951 Look.. 379 00:17:04,569 --> 00:17:07,857 I may have worn out my welcome here a little bit.. 380 00:17:07,886 --> 00:17:09,811 ..and I'm sorry. 381 00:17:10,459 --> 00:17:12,771 And I don't want to sound cheesy but.. 382 00:17:12,787 --> 00:17:17,521 I just always wanted to be part of a family like yours. 383 00:17:18,021 --> 00:17:20,771 I just kind of like hanging out with you guys 384 00:17:20,795 --> 00:17:24,090 Oh, well; That was kind of sweet. - Yeah; 385 00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:27,093 Can you take me driving? 386 00:17:27,215 --> 00:17:30,668 I'm sorry. That just slipped out. That, that really was sweet. 387 00:17:30,708 --> 00:17:32,687 Now, wait one damn minute here.. 388 00:17:32,711 --> 00:17:35,499 ..before we all soften up like a bunch of pansies. 389 00:17:35,562 --> 00:17:38,462 You look me in the eye and you tell me the truth 390 00:17:38,488 --> 00:17:43,000 Why did it take so long to come pay your respects to your uncle Paul? 391 00:17:43,011 --> 00:17:45,898 C.J.; Be honest for once 392 00:17:49,719 --> 00:17:51,906 I was ashamed 393 00:17:53,331 --> 00:17:56,669 You know, he was the only guy who said I'd be somebody 394 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,351 I never was 395 00:17:58,937 --> 00:18:02,338 I almost calle him one time when I was running 'The Tilt-A-Wirl', but.. 396 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:04,572 ..all the parents freaked out 'cause I was dialing.. 397 00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:07,456 ..instead of 'paying attention' to their kids! 398 00:18:07,466 --> 00:18:09,896 I'll get out of your air 399 00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:13,989 - Where are you gonna go? - Thought I might see my parents 400 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,005 I thought they weren't talking to you 401 00:18:16,016 --> 00:18:18,250 I meant from a distance 402 00:18:19,969 --> 00:18:23,786 I could re-up in the Army Oh, Wait; There's a war 403 00:18:25,677 --> 00:18:28,470 Technically, I don't know where I'm going, so... 404 00:18:28,510 --> 00:18:30,173 I'll be fine 405 00:18:30,993 --> 00:18:32,728 All alone 406 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:35,611 Me and my little space heater 407 00:18:35,713 --> 00:18:38,384 That's my space heater 408 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,134 C.J. wait 409 00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:45,505 Look, the truth is this family doesn'n really know 410 00:18:45,516 --> 00:18:47,992 where it's going, either 411 00:18:48,352 --> 00:18:50,226 So.. [Sighs] 412 00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,735 Why don't you stay a little while? 413 00:18:55,028 --> 00:18:57,622 In the driveway 414 00:18:59,418 --> 00:19:02,559 All right. Until you can figure stuff out 415 00:19:03,411 --> 00:19:07,324 Can I have a key to the dead bolt? -No!! 416 00:19:07,902 --> 00:19:10,239 And, yet, you know, C.J. I have to say 417 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,906 it's so nice to see the real you 418 00:19:13,044 --> 00:19:15,944 If there's one thing we value in this household.. 419 00:19:15,956 --> 00:19:18,909 ..it's the truth; Honesty, honesty, honesty- 420 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:23,551 Okay, mother! Stop it! Just stop your mind games right now!! -What?!! 421 00:19:23,587 --> 00:19:24,821 Shut up, shut up, shut up! 422 00:19:24,832 --> 00:19:27,009 I did it! I put the dent in the car. It was my foult! 423 00:19:27,020 --> 00:19:28,243 - Nooo!! - Yes! 424 00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:29,270 Yes!! 425 00:19:29,281 --> 00:19:30,560 I had to get zit cream one night.. 426 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,613 ..and she wouldn't go with me unless she could drive.. 427 00:19:32,624 --> 00:19:35,103 ..so, she put the dent in the car, then C.J. took the blame for us 428 00:19:35,113 --> 00:19:39,021 - What? - Ohh! I feel so much better 429 00:19:39,032 --> 00:19:42,178 Thank you for telling me to be honest. Good night! 430 00:19:42,194 --> 00:19:43,748 What? Wait ..one minute! 431 00:19:43,772 --> 00:19:46,974 You snuck out at night and you drove?!! 432 00:19:46,991 --> 00:19:48,803 You don't even have a license..and.. 433 00:19:48,814 --> 00:19:50,794 And you covered for the whole thing?! 434 00:19:50,805 --> 00:19:54,011 All right, okay! Everybody mass groundings 435 00:19:54,287 --> 00:19:57,524 You are not the boss of me! 436 00:19:58,962 --> 00:20:01,149 Oh, you mean those two? That's cool. 437 00:20:04,342 --> 00:20:06,154 And you just asked him to stay. 438 00:20:12,615 --> 00:20:14,456 - Well, I, uh... - Oh... 439 00:20:24,507 --> 00:20:28,006 Wow, Rory, where'd you learn how to kiss like that? 440 00:20:28,522 --> 00:20:29,955 My cousin 441 00:20:29,966 --> 00:20:31,752 Your cousin? Ew!! 442 00:20:32,095 --> 00:20:34,566 - Ow! - Wait!! No, It's not like it seems!! 443 00:20:34,582 --> 00:20:36,825 My cousin's the guy!! 444 00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:42,167 ---oOo---