The Simpsons - Thirty-Third Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:08,818 --> 00:00:10,454
Mmm. When I die,

2
00:00:10,522 --> 00:00:12,726
we should totally
get this sandwich place

3
00:00:12,792 --> 00:00:13,828
for my memorial.

4
00:00:13,895 --> 00:00:16,934
So good. Mmm. Can't wait.

5
00:00:17,001 --> 00:00:20,440
Oh, all these people
loved Mr. Chase.

6
00:00:20,508 --> 00:00:22,946
His students
are taking it so hard.

7
00:00:23,013 --> 00:00:25,585
Yeah, nobody grieves
like theater kids.

8
00:00:30,862 --> 00:00:32,298
This is my show!

9
00:00:32,364 --> 00:00:35,170
Why are they singing
about computers?

1
00:00:07,448 --> 00:00:10,053
We sure lucked out
with this new gig.

2
00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:12,358
Half day on Christmas,
unpaid polio leave,

3
00:00:12,424 --> 00:00:14,596
and all the bread crumbs
you can sweep.

4
00:00:17,969 --> 00:00:20,107
Mac, we just
got our first paychecks.

5
00:00:20,173 --> 00:00:22,679
Take this money
and turn it into giggle water.

6
00:00:23,681 --> 00:00:25,685
FICA?!

7
00:00:25,752 --> 00:00:26,654
What the hell is that?

8
00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:28,858
Eh, that's your
Social Security tax.

9
00:00:28,925 --> 00:00:30,662

1
00:00:38,176 --> 00:00:40,447
Barti, wait for me.

2
00:00:41,115 --> 00:00:42,786
Stop all that noise.

3
00:00:42,852 --> 00:00:44,790
A hunter has entered the forest.

4
00:00:44,856 --> 00:00:47,061
Cool.
What's a hunter?

5
00:00:52,171 --> 00:00:55,444
- Run, Barti, run!
- Not without you, Mama.

6
00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,285
Owl season starts next week.
Next week!

7
00:00:59,352 --> 00:01:01,189
Death.

8
00:01:01,255 --> 00:01:04,328
Barti,
if you love me, run!

9
00:01:08,571 --> 00:01:10,340
I made it, Mama.

1
00:00:08,350 --> 00:00:11,089
Don't rot your brain
on Satan's calculator.

2
00:00:11,155 --> 00:00:13,794
Babies need real toys
like these.

3
00:00:22,512 --> 00:00:23,881
It's Princess Maggie.

4
00:00:23,948 --> 00:00:25,985
Princess Maggie's here.

5
00:00:26,052 --> 00:00:27,856
Princess Maggie, what's wrong?

6
00:00:27,923 --> 00:00:29,392
The girl is bored.

7
00:00:29,458 --> 00:00:32,231
Royal court,
entertain my daughter at once.

8
00:00:32,298 --> 00:00:35,572
No princess can frown
when her eardrums are pulsing

9
00:00:35,638 --> 00:00:38,511
with the beat
of iambic pentameter.

1
00:00:16,834 --> 00:00:17,903
Riot Rivers!

2
00:00:21,744 --> 00:00:24,048
Riot Rivers!

3
00:00:24,115 --> 00:00:25,785
Honey, are you in there?

4
00:00:25,852 --> 00:00:26,987
Yes.

5
00:00:27,054 --> 00:00:29,158
Riot Rivers!

6
00:00:29,225 --> 00:00:32,164
Ri-ot Riv-ers! Ri-ot Riv-ers!

7
00:00:32,231 --> 00:00:33,901
There it is! Turn!

8
00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:35,470
Calm down!

9
00:00:35,538 --> 00:00:37,117
I'm not gonna miss
your stupid water park.

10
00:00:37,141 --> 00:00:38,678
It's not stupid.

1
00:00:18,838 --> 00:00:22,111
A greedy man
once yearned for more,

2
00:00:22,177 --> 00:00:24,783
so the fool began to borrow.

3
00:00:24,883 --> 00:00:27,354
He ate and drank
and told the bank,

4
00:00:27,421 --> 00:00:29,860
"I'll pay the debt tomorrow."

5
00:00:29,927 --> 00:00:33,033
But as both dolt
and purse grew fat,

6
00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:35,337
the calendar grew thinner.

7
00:00:36,740 --> 00:00:38,945
The debt collector had enough

8
00:00:39,011 --> 00:00:41,884
and hungered for his dinner.

9
00:00:48,330 --> 00:00:50,969
The coward ran,
with coin in hand,

1
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:19,052
This just in...

2
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:22,756
Chief, I think
that madman who shot up

3
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:25,092
the Lard Lad
knows where Homer is.

4
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:28,562
Look, he dropped this
on his way out.

5
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:29,930
Have you been crying?

6
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:32,099
It's just so horrible.

7
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:34,801
Mr. Burns? The Disco Guy?

8
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,203
Fat Tony?

9
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:39,907
Look what they did
to my beautiful goombah.

1
00:00:43,654 --> 00:00:46,392
Congratulations, sir...
It's eight puppies.

2
00:00:46,459 --> 00:00:48,463
Four boys, three girls, and, uh,

3
00:00:48,531 --> 00:00:51,002
one who would prefer
not to be labeled yet.

4
00:00:51,102 --> 00:00:53,139
Excellent,
eight purebred puppies

5
00:00:53,206 --> 00:00:54,509
descended from the
first litter

6
00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:57,348
of Karl Friedrich Dobermann
himself.

7
00:00:57,448 --> 00:00:59,352
Smithers, you're in charge
of their training.

8
00:00:59,452 --> 00:01:01,657
Teach them all
the classic commands.

9

1
00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:11,945
Boring.
Boring.

2
00:00:12,045 --> 00:00:13,747
Boring. Boring. Boring.

3
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:14,948
Seen it.

4
00:00:15,048 --> 00:00:16,517
Lived it.

5
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:20,320
Looks like you've
discovered Muttflix, Bart.

6
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:22,923
The premium cable channel
made for dogs.

7
00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:31,632
They show short scenes from
a canine point of view.

8
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,467
It's to a dog's eyes

9
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:37,371
what opening a can of
dog food is to their ears.

1
00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:22,089
Good sir, perchance you would
like to try on

2
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:24,525
the "categorize cap"
to see which school

3
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,159
of magic most suits thee?

4
00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:28,061
Not today, weirdo.

5
00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:32,799
Congratulations,
you're a Grizzledum!

6
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:36,036
Yes! Finally!
A hat that respects me!

7
00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:37,638
Don't be too cocky.

8
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:40,774
That means you're a sworn
enemy of Pufflesnuff.

9
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,876
I hate those guys.

1
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:22,389
Shut up!
It's starting!

2
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:23,957
The Springfield Atoms
have earned

3
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,101
the number-one pick
in this year's draft,

4
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:29,229
after intentionally losing
every game last season.

5
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:32,099
Nobody tanks like Springfield...

6
00:00:32,165 --> 00:00:34,268
City of Intentional Losers.

7
00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:36,203
Tank! Tank! Tank!

8
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:37,938
And with the first pick

9
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:41,041
of the draft,
the Springfield Atoms select...

1
00:00:06,446 --> 00:00:07,248
What should we do now?
We've captured the cad.

2
00:00:07,448 --> 00:00:08,694
What should we do now?
We've captured the cad

3
00:00:08,718 --> 00:00:12,300
who poisoned all those copper
barons, and it's barely 8:00.

4
00:00:12,324 --> 00:00:16,299
Lucky thing I made
an 8:15 reservation right here.

5
00:00:16,332 --> 00:00:19,272
Why, this is the restaurant
where you proposed.

6
00:00:19,338 --> 00:00:22,177
Oh, you did remember
our anniversary.

7
00:00:22,211 --> 00:00:24,448
Well, look who else remembered.

8
00:00:24,516 --> 00:00:25,417
Aster.

9
00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:27,989

1
00:00:18,871 --> 00:00:20,608
Listen up, ya pukes.

2
00:00:20,708 --> 00:00:23,446
You're only calling us that
'cause we puked in the van.

3
00:00:23,581 --> 00:00:25,284
You've been sentenced
to complete.

4
00:00:25,350 --> 00:00:27,622
"The Highland Trek
for Troubled Truants"

5
00:00:27,722 --> 00:00:29,526
by the juvenile court.

6
00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:31,195
So why are you in charge?

7
00:00:31,296 --> 00:00:34,402
Because this is my sentence
from the adult court!

8
00:00:34,536 --> 00:00:36,339
Now watch the video.

9
00:00:36,439 --> 00:00:39,245
Welcome, wayward teens
and aspiring criminals.

1
00:00:10,487 --> 00:00:13,360
Come on, come on, come on.
Pick up the pace.

2
00:00:13,426 --> 00:00:14,596
Here you go.

3
00:00:21,644 --> 00:00:24,282
Hurry up! It's almost here.

4
00:00:27,789 --> 00:00:28,891
Yippee!

5
00:00:28,958 --> 00:00:31,664
My industrial-grade
steam vacuum.

6
00:00:31,764 --> 00:00:33,266
The same model
they use to clean

7
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:36,740
grisly crime scenes
and sticky champagne rooms.

8
00:00:36,807 --> 00:00:39,880
Okay, ma'am, I have you down
for a three-hour rental

9
00:00:39,980 --> 00:00:42,953
starting... now.

1
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:11,824
So dope.

2
00:00:11,891 --> 00:00:13,661
Slammin' kicks.

3
00:00:13,761 --> 00:00:15,632
Is that kid wearing Slipremes?

4
00:00:15,732 --> 00:00:18,136
He totally is.

5
00:00:19,205 --> 00:00:22,111
These are my first tie-shoes.

6
00:00:22,177 --> 00:00:24,248
You're wearing
the new Slipreme Caliphates?

7
00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:27,321
How did a chum-wad like you
get a pair?

8
00:00:27,388 --> 00:00:29,258
My daddy took my cat
to the cat doctor,

9
00:00:29,325 --> 00:00:30,962
and when Daddy came home,

10

1
00:00:19,205 --> 00:00:22,444
Tonight on Million
Dollar Listing: Springfield.

2
00:00:32,264 --> 00:00:34,235
We once again have only

3
00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:36,139
one house in this whole town

4
00:00:36,239 --> 00:00:37,542
worth a million dollars.

5
00:00:37,609 --> 00:00:39,445
I keep telling you,
I don't want to sell.

6
00:00:39,546 --> 00:00:41,550
This area has
a great school system

7
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:44,488
and I'm thinking
of starting a family.

8
00:00:44,523 --> 00:00:47,729
My children, fight each other
to the death for my love.

9
00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:51,770
I'm here in

1
00:00:16,901 --> 00:00:19,405
You know, you play pretty well

2
00:00:19,472 --> 00:00:21,442
for someone
with no real problems.

3
00:00:21,544 --> 00:00:24,917
That's 'cause I had
the best teacher.

4
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:27,756
If you love sports

5
00:00:27,856 --> 00:00:29,993
and house flipping shows,
telenovelas mexicanas

6
00:00:30,027 --> 00:00:32,031
and Holocaust documentaries,

7
00:00:32,097 --> 00:00:33,133
get Everything+.

8
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:34,903
We'll stream anything,

9
00:00:34,970 --> 00:00:36,574
even shows
that Peacock rejected.

1
00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:13,126
Second grade
is a turbulent time.

2
00:00:13,226 --> 00:00:15,532
In gym, I was given a "C"

3
00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:19,205
when I refused to play
with the non-vegan football.

4
00:00:19,272 --> 00:00:22,011
And so, I was searching
for meaning.

5
00:00:22,111 --> 00:00:23,748
And extra credit.

6
00:00:23,814 --> 00:00:28,591
I found it in the Future Nature
Documentarian Day Camp.

7
00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:30,494
I knew two things going in.

8
00:00:30,562 --> 00:00:33,968
I would produce
a three-minute documentary

9
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:37,208
and lunch would not be provided.

1
00:00:19,205 --> 00:00:21,209
I come bearing
an important communiqué.

2
00:00:21,309 --> 00:00:23,814
It's from the marching band
director at Springfield High.

3
00:00:23,881 --> 00:00:26,987
Oh, did he get his swollen head
stuck in a French horn?

4
00:00:27,054 --> 00:00:29,058
Uh, there's no mention of that.

5
00:00:29,158 --> 00:00:31,630
But it seems one of the band's
most important musicians

6
00:00:31,730 --> 00:00:34,970
injured his middle toe doing
a high step in double-time.

7
00:00:35,037 --> 00:00:38,109
That's footwork suicide!

8
00:00:38,176 --> 00:00:39,780
They need
a replacement sax player,

9
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,117

1
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,712
- Don't pick it.
- D'oh!

2
00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:26,727
498...

3
00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:28,295
499...

4
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,397
It's time.

5
00:00:34,801 --> 00:00:37,004
It's time.

6
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:44,211
I'm sorry. We're going to have
to pull the plug.

7
00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:46,013
It's time.

8
00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:48,815
See ya later, vegitaters. Ha-ha!

9
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:55,722
All ears on me!

10
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,092

1
00:00:07,407 --> 00:00:08,775
Dick Gregory, everyone.

2
00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:09,810
What a lineup,

3
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:11,812
but before we see George Carlin,

4
00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:13,580
Albert Brooks,
and Richard Pryor,

5
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,283
give it up for a new comic,
who I'm sure is just as edgy

6
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,051
and scathingly intelligent,

7
00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:20,387
Krusty the Clown.

8
00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:22,422
Hey, hey.

9
00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:23,357
So, uh,

10
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:25,425

1
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,299
Mmm, cookies.

2
00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:34,301
They're not cookies,
they're biscuits.

3
00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:35,769
That's British for cookies.

4
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:38,539
And they're not for you
or you or you.

5
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,407
Or you or you. Not you.

6
00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:41,575
Not for you.

7
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:46,046
These treats are for my lady friends.

8
00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:48,415
They're coming over to watch
a very classy

9
00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,584
historical British
streaming show,