The Simpsons - Fifteenth Season English Subtitles
Series Info:
Overview:
The satiric adventures of a working-class family in the misfit city of Springfield.
Release Name:
the.simpsons.1501.pdtv-lol
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1 00:00:03,550 --> 00:00:06,215 Good grief, This candy's terrible. 2 00:00:06,254 --> 00:00:11,300 Circus peanuts, raisins, nicotine gum, a library card... 3 00:00:11,350 --> 00:00:15,430 - You got all the good stuff! - And yet and I'm still not satisfied. 4 00:00:17,347 --> 00:00:19,200 You thieving hussy! 5 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:27,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 6 00:00:28,940 --> 00:00:32,660 You kids have got to learn that actions have consequences. 7 00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:36,369 Eat fire! Punks! 8 00:00:36,853 --> 00:00:40,597 What the... I'm still cold. 9 00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:43,635 Everyone please stop fighting and burning? 10
1 00:00:25,356 --> 00:00:28,541 it's too nice a day to be outside doing chores. 2 00:00:28,872 --> 00:00:30,527 Come in and watch TV. 3 00:00:31,687 --> 00:00:33,258 Mom finally stopped caring! 4 00:00:33,341 --> 00:00:34,829 Don't go inside! It's a trap! 5 00:00:34,996 --> 00:00:37,850 Yes, she must have some kind of super-chore in there. 6 00:00:37,934 --> 00:00:39,794 Like getting the rat out of Maggie's room. 7 00:00:42,236 --> 00:00:44,263 I'm not fooling around, people. 8 00:00:44,346 --> 00:00:46,331 Park your keisters in front of that TV! 9 00:00:46,415 --> 00:00:47,448 Now!
1 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,295 Oh, boy! Casino night! 2 00:00:28,504 --> 00:00:32,577 Finally, they'll teach our kids the dangers of doubling down on a six. 3 00:00:32,704 --> 00:00:36,361 I really shouldn't be here. I have a problem with games of chance. 4 00:00:36,445 --> 00:00:40,435 I played Candy Land with Maggie and ended up throwing vodka in her face. 5 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:43,678 Aw, Marge. I bet you've gotten that out of your system. 6 00:00:43,845 --> 00:00:47,087 Bet? System? Betting system? 7 00:00:47,337 --> 00:00:49,539 God is telling me to gamble! 8 00:00:50,247 --> 00:00:52,117 Hey! Hey! Hey! 9 00:00:52,825 --> 00:00:56,399 Deal. Hit me, hit me, hit me. Busted.
1 00:00:23,194 --> 00:00:25,398 Look, Smithers. Crackle-berries! 2 00:00:25,482 --> 00:00:26,853 Spot me a federal, will you? 3 00:00:26,938 --> 00:00:30,098 Sir, I've spotted you over $100,000 this year. 4 00:00:30,182 --> 00:00:31,928 Perhaps you could carry your own money. 5 00:00:32,011 --> 00:00:34,132 (LAUGHING) Money is for the poor. 6 00:00:34,216 --> 00:00:35,796 Why don't you use your ATM card? 7 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:39,705 Ah! Yes. The automated teller machine-eola-trola-maton. 8 00:00:40,122 --> 00:00:41,743 (GRUNTING) 9 00:00:43,533 --> 00:00:45,653
1 00:00:45,940 --> 00:00:48,594 Okay. Mother's Day gift check. Let's see what you got. 2 00:00:48,967 --> 00:00:52,534 I picked Mom a bouquet of Erigeron elatiors. 3 00:00:53,697 --> 00:00:54,691 Daisies. 4 00:00:56,352 --> 00:00:57,595 Flowers! 5 00:00:59,007 --> 00:01:00,001 Hmm? 6 00:01:00,085 --> 00:01:01,992 Oh... Yeah. 7 00:01:02,076 --> 00:01:04,896 Lise, your stupid present will only last a week. 8 00:01:05,104 --> 00:01:07,385 Mine will sit in the closet for years. 9 00:01:07,469 --> 00:01:09,873 Bart, we made her the same thing.
1 00:01:03,483 --> 00:01:07,344 (SINGING) Time to wizz in a foaming bowl of china 2 00:01:07,553 --> 00:01:10,291 (EXCLAIMS) A line for the bathroom? What gives? 3 00:01:10,458 --> 00:01:12,035 I don't know. But whoever's in there 4 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:13,571 is taking their sweet ol' time. 5 00:01:13,656 --> 00:01:15,274 Son, can I have cuts? No! 6 00:01:15,358 --> 00:01:17,018 Back cuts? Okay. 7 00:01:17,102 --> 00:01:18,263 Sweet. Hey! 8 00:01:18,929 --> 00:01:22,333 Wait a minute. If we're all out here, who's in there? 9 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:23,412 (ALL GASP)
1 00:00:27,150 --> 00:00:30,089 Happy Thanksgiving from the entire Channel 6 family 2 00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:31,621 including Kent Brockman, 3 00:00:31,704 --> 00:00:33,608 who's contractually permitted to replace himself 4 00:00:33,691 --> 00:00:35,513 with a cardboard cutout. 5 00:00:35,596 --> 00:00:38,368 The real Kent is in a rehab clinic. 6 00:00:38,453 --> 00:00:40,811 We all wish him the best... 7 00:00:40,895 --> 00:00:42,053 Again. 8 00:00:42,137 --> 00:00:44,247 I love the holiday season. 9 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:47,849 See ya in spring, toes. 10
1 00:00:23,137 --> 00:00:27,209 That's a salt-water croc, the largest reptile in the world! 2 00:00:27,294 --> 00:00:28,498 Oh, crikey! 3 00:00:28,583 --> 00:00:30,702 She's got me by the dangle-down! 4 00:00:31,201 --> 00:00:34,859 This naughty little Sheila can snap a man's ribcage like... 5 00:00:34,942 --> 00:00:36,313 (CRACKING) Like that! 6 00:00:36,398 --> 00:00:37,435 (SCREAMS) 7 00:00:38,060 --> 00:00:39,348 Hey, I'm watching that! 8 00:00:39,431 --> 00:00:40,470 Not anymore. 9 00:00:40,555 --> 00:00:42,714 ANNOUNCER 1 ON TV: Malibu Stacey wants a craft room
1 00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:25,428 Bart, I got it! 2 00:00:31,249 --> 00:00:33,286 I ran here as fast as I... 3 00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:36,613 Bart, that creepy kid is here. 4 00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:43,930 (VULTURES CAWING) 5 00:00:45,095 --> 00:00:46,341 Hey, Milhouse! 6 00:00:46,426 --> 00:00:47,755 Oh, what's this? 7 00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,666 (READING) 8 00:00:50,749 --> 00:00:53,535 Oh, wow! This'll look great on my bike. 9 00:00:55,573 --> 00:00:57,318 Flame decal for the chain guard, 10 00:00:57,402 --> 00:01:00,769
1 00:00:23,726 --> 00:00:26,627 Let's see. I'll have 16 gravy scrape 'ems, 2 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,328 a bucket of twisty lard, 3 00:00:28,328 --> 00:00:31,129 and two super-choker breakfast burritos with macho sauce. 4 00:00:31,129 --> 00:00:32,629 And mega-size it, please. 5 00:00:32,629 --> 00:00:35,030 Squeaky-voiced teen: I could also deep-fry the bag. 6 00:00:35,030 --> 00:00:37,831 Great. And I'll have a diet coke-- deep-fried. 7 00:00:37,831 --> 00:00:39,832 Mmm... mmm! 8 00:00:39,832 --> 00:00:41,233 Mm-mm... mm-mm... 9 00:00:41,233 --> 00:00:42,433 mm-mm... hmm...
1 00:00:29,282 --> 00:00:32,067 I have to research a paper. Where did all the books go? 2 00:00:32,235 --> 00:00:34,563 Books? Books are for squares. 3 00:00:34,689 --> 00:00:36,809 We're now a multimedia learning center 4 00:00:36,894 --> 00:00:39,014 for children of all ages... 5 00:00:39,098 --> 00:00:40,719 But mostly bums. 6 00:00:41,634 --> 00:00:42,632 (SNORING) 7 00:00:44,255 --> 00:00:45,917 BART: Ay, caramba! 8 00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:47,623 Huh? What? 9 00:00:48,165 --> 00:00:49,494 (LISA READING) 10 00:00:53,156 --> 00:00:55,276
1 00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:09,800 d-ohh! 2 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:13,800 ( Screams ) 3 00:00:22,700 --> 00:00:25,400 Children, I'm sorry to say, one of your lunches exploded. 4 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,600 Who has the "little bunny foo foo" lunch box? 5 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:30,700 Um... that would be me. 6 00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:32,600 ( Kids laughing ) it's not my fault. 7 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,000 I can't afford a better lunch box 'cause I'm poor. 8 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,300 ( Louder laughter ) shut up! 9 00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:39,300 My mom got too fat
1 00:00:28,342 --> 00:00:32,244 Wait till he puts his unsuspecting butt on that toilet seat! 2 00:00:32,328 --> 00:00:33,323 (GIGGLING) 3 00:00:35,275 --> 00:00:36,312 (TOILET FLUSHING) 4 00:00:36,396 --> 00:00:39,550 Huh? Where's the Ee-yow? 5 00:00:40,050 --> 00:00:41,169 All yours, Homer. 6 00:00:41,337 --> 00:00:42,872 You didn't sit on the toilet. 7 00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:44,325 I didn't have to. I'm a dude. 8 00:00:44,408 --> 00:00:45,404 (GRUNTS) 9 00:00:45,488 --> 00:00:47,605 Butt on bowl, little man! 10 00:00:47,688 --> 00:00:49,307 (BOTH STRUGGLING)
1 00:01:17,563 --> 00:01:19,362 The wild dingleberries? 2 00:01:19,362 --> 00:01:21,760 It's a movie version of a cartoon family 3 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,459 you can see for free on tv. 4 00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:25,657 But they stretched out the plot and added a wildebeest 5 00:01:25,657 --> 00:01:28,056 from the hood. I am so there! 6 00:01:28,056 --> 00:01:31,053 Sorry, pally, the dingleberries are sold out... 7 00:01:31,053 --> 00:01:31,953 but, looking at yo 8 00:01:31,953 --> 00:01:34,351 I'm sure your kids are used to disappointment. 9 00:01:34,351 --> 00:01:36,450
1 00:00:25,921 --> 00:00:27,420 Oh god, I love to smoke. 2 00:00:27,420 --> 00:00:29,719 we're live at the opening of the latest chapter 3 00:00:29,719 --> 00:00:32,718 of the epic space saga, cosmic wars! 4 00:00:32,718 --> 00:00:35,716 And the nerds have emerged from their basements, 5 00:00:35,716 --> 00:00:39,014 wearing strange costumes to shield their pasty skin 6 00:00:39,014 --> 00:00:40,414 from the moonlight. 7 00:00:40,414 --> 00:00:42,713 Simpsons, your lack of costumes 8 00:00:42,713 --> 00:00:45,911 ill-befits line positions two, three and four. 9 00:00:45,911 --> 00:00:47,310
1 00:00:37,402 --> 00:00:38,402 where are your clothes 2 00:00:38,402 --> 00:00:40,202 for the gentleman who's big and fat? 3 00:00:40,202 --> 00:00:41,901 The basement, sir. ( Whoops ) 4 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:43,801 homer, before you 5 00:00:43,801 --> 00:00:45,501 get anywhere near the escalator, 6 00:00:45,501 --> 00:00:47,501 you've got to tie those shoes. Homer! 7 00:00:47,501 --> 00:00:49,400 ( Yells ) ( groans ) 8 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,100 so many shoppers. ( Grunts ) 9 00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:52,500
1 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:09,700 D-ohh! 2 00:00:09,700 --> 00:00:13,700 ( Screams ) 3 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:24,900 ( Groans ) 4 00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:27,100 I'm going to sleep on the couch. 5 00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:27,700 ( Door slams ) 6 00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:31,700 she sure loves that couch. 7 00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:36,400 It's the world series of kickball... 8 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:37,800 bart simpson on the mound. 9 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:39,600 The catcher gives him the signal... 10
1 00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:24,858 welcome to lecture number eight 2 00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:26,228 on the water balloon. 3 00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:28,914 Yesterday I asked everyone to think of other liquids... 4 00:00:28,914 --> 00:00:30,265 you could fill a balloon with. 5 00:00:30,265 --> 00:00:31,181 Water? 6 00:00:31,905 --> 00:00:32,664 thank you, Nelson. 7 00:00:32,665 --> 00:00:33,395 Anyone else? 8 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:34,411 Hot sauce? 9 00:00:34,412 --> 00:00:36,804 Kearney, that could blind someone. 10 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:37,941
1 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:25,250 Welcome back to promiscuous idiots island. 2 00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:28,053 On FOX, the home of promiscuous idiots. 3 00:00:28,303 --> 00:00:29,750 Last week, on P.I.I., 4 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,368 Our billionaire bachelor gave five lovely ladies a... 5 00:00:32,618 --> 00:00:35,203 rose of continuation; and he hurled a rock of... 6 00:00:35,453 --> 00:00:40,067 rejection at anyone displaying intelligence, character or ethnicity. 7 00:00:40,517 --> 00:00:43,206 Tonight, we reveal a shocking secret. 8 00:00:43,456 --> 00:00:45,250 Ladies, when you were selected, 9 00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:48,600 you were told that you'd be dating a billionaire on his private island. 10
1 00:00:23,716 --> 00:00:25,962 l don't understand this game, Bart. 2 00:00:26,046 --> 00:00:27,502 How come we have to rake your lawn 3 00:00:27,585 --> 00:00:29,041 while you just get to sit there? 4 00:00:29,208 --> 00:00:30,248 Because l'm "it." 5 00:00:30,374 --> 00:00:32,661 Now whoever finishes first gets lemonade. 6 00:00:32,745 --> 00:00:33,700 BOTH: Yay! 7 00:00:33,785 --> 00:00:34,783 For me. 8 00:00:36,988 --> 00:00:41,190 Later when we wash his bike, l'm not gonna do a good job. 9 00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:42,979 l'm telling Mr. Bart!
1 00:00:23,409 --> 00:00:26,613 How's the ice cream, kids? - Great! 2 00:00:26,696 --> 00:00:27,966 Who's ready for a kitten? 3 00:00:27,967 --> 00:00:29,918 - I am! - Make mine calico! 4 00:00:30,065 --> 00:00:32,106 Here you go. 5 00:00:32,964 --> 00:00:35,237 this whole morning has been wonderful. 6 00:00:36,902 --> 00:00:38,347 Too wonderful. 7 00:00:38,501 --> 00:00:40,051 You're right; this is it. 8 00:00:40,193 --> 00:00:41,777 They're selling us to be crash test dummies! 9 00:00:41,922 --> 00:00:43,365 Oh, please let it be volvo.
1 00:00:27,292 --> 00:00:28,830 This is Kent Brockman, 2 00:00:28,915 --> 00:00:32,076 live at Springfield's most beloved tourist attraction, 3 00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:35,737 the man-shaped mountain crag known as Geezer Rock. 4 00:00:35,821 --> 00:00:38,525 Carved by centuries of wind and rain, 5 00:00:38,609 --> 00:00:41,230 Geezer Rock will soon be more than just a place for teens 6 00:00:41,313 --> 00:00:43,185 to have sex and commit suicide. 7 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,347 Why did they cancel Futurama? 8 00:00:46,431 --> 00:00:47,720 (SCREAMS) 9 00:00:50,674 --> 00:00:54,460 You crushed my boyfriend! You better be good at making out!
