The Office (US Version) - Third Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:12,836 --> 00:00:16,618
Yeah, I'm not a temp anymore.
I got Jim's, uh, old job.

2
00:00:16,643 --> 00:00:18,567
Which means, at my ten-year
high school reunion,

3
00:00:18,599 --> 00:00:20,984
it will not say, "Ryan
Howard is a temp."

4
00:00:21,048 --> 00:00:25,443
"Ryan Howard is a junior sales associate
at a mid-range paper supply firm."

5
00:00:26,841 --> 00:00:28,419
That'll show'em.

6
00:00:45,907 --> 00:00:49,924
You have no idea how long
I've wanted to do that.

7
00:00:50,647 --> 00:00:52,573
Me too.

8
00:00:54,587 --> 00:00:56,448
I think we're just drunk.

9
00:00:56,929 --> 00:01:00,198
No, I'm not drunk.

1
00:00:02,424 --> 00:00:03,953
- Pam?
- Yeah?

2
00:00:04,335 --> 00:00:05,781
Did you see Oprah yesterday?

3
00:00:05,916 --> 00:00:08,904
- No, I didn't.
- I, uh...

4
00:00:09,652 --> 00:00:11,812
I am going to be a father.

5
00:00:13,604 --> 00:00:14,968
What was Oprah about?

6
00:00:15,150 --> 00:00:16,726
Angelina Jolie was on.

7
00:00:16,888 --> 00:00:20,702
And she adopted a baby from Asia, and
she said that it changed her life.

8
00:00:20,805 --> 00:00:23,085
And that really inspired me.

9
00:00:23,419 --> 00:00:29,679
So, I want you to look into seeing how
much a little Chinese baby would cost.

1
00:00:04,678 --> 00:00:06,478
I'm hungry.

2
00:00:07,993 --> 00:00:10,663
Mooovie Monday!

3
00:00:10,801 --> 00:00:15,808
The only cure I know for
the Monday blues is...

4
00:00:15,945 --> 00:00:17,621
Varsity Blues.

5
00:00:18,023 --> 00:00:19,991
Let's go! Let's go,
let's go, let's go!

6
00:00:20,082 --> 00:00:21,926
Take a seat down there.
Second from the end.

7
00:00:22,035 --> 00:00:23,430
All right, everybody here?

8
00:00:23,489 --> 00:00:24,496
Yes.

9
00:00:24,707 --> 00:00:26,055
Popcorn, anyone?

10

1
00:00:01,367 --> 00:00:02,967
Hey, Ryan.

2
00:00:03,034 --> 00:00:05,000
Can I get you a pencil
from the warehouse?

3
00:00:05,067 --> 00:00:06,703
Uh, no thanks. I'm good.

4
00:00:06,751 --> 00:00:08,718
Oh, it's okay. I'm going down.

5
00:00:08,895 --> 00:00:10,195
Um...

6
00:00:10,301 --> 00:00:11,467
Oh.

7
00:00:11,468 --> 00:00:12,531
Yeah.

8
00:00:12,552 --> 00:00:13,552
Absolutely.

9
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:15,101
All right, I'll be right back.

10
00:00:25,408 --> 00:00:26,460
Whoo! There you go.

1
00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:05,499
Brain teaser.

2
00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:07,599
I have two coins
totaling 15 cents.

3
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:09,634
One of them is not a nickel.
What are they?

4
00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:11,234
A dime and a nickel.

5
00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,734
No, I said one of
them is not a nickel--

6
00:00:13,735 --> 00:00:14,751
But the other one is.

7
00:00:14,752 --> 00:00:16,199
I've heard that before.

8
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:19,734
Okay, a man and his son
get into a car accident.

9
00:00:19,735 --> 00:00:21,334
They are rushed to the hospital.

1
00:00:01,717 --> 00:00:03,242
There you go.

2
00:00:08,932 --> 00:00:10,051
Nice dress, Ryan.

3
00:00:10,464 --> 00:00:12,546
It's not a dress. It's a kurta.

4
00:00:12,625 --> 00:00:13,561
Okay.

5
00:00:13,696 --> 00:00:17,496
Tonight,one of our most
ethnic coworkers, Kelly,

6
00:00:17,567 --> 00:00:20,544
has invited us all to
a Diwali celebration

7
00:00:20,612 --> 00:00:22,306
put on by her community.

8
00:00:22,545 --> 00:00:24,078
What is Diwali, you may ask?

9
00:00:24,374 --> 00:00:27,374
Well, to have Kelly explain it,

10
00:00:27,878 --> 00:00:29,442

1
00:00:03,220 --> 00:00:05,092
Hey. Hey.

2
00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:07,355
Who are you faxing so
early in the morning?

3
00:00:07,398 --> 00:00:08,791
Oh, um...

4
00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:11,794
Kinda hard to explain.

5
00:00:11,837 --> 00:00:13,665
I don't have a ton of contact

6
00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:15,624
with the Scranton branch,

7
00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:16,712
but before I left,

8
00:00:16,755 --> 00:00:19,106
I took a box of
Dwight's stationery.

9
00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:22,805
So from time to time,
I send Dwight faxes.

10

1
00:00:02,745 --> 00:00:04,726
The Stamford branch is closing,

2
00:00:04,773 --> 00:00:07,320
and everybody's just
packing up their stuff.

3
00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:10,709
Andy Bernard made
these tasteful hats.

4
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:15,547
That's the other thing you
have to watch out... Yo, Tuna.

5
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:18,015
I wanna talk to you about
this new boss, Michael Scott.

6
00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:20,730
Yeah? So what's he like?

7
00:00:20,955 --> 00:00:25,722
Likes, dislikes, favorite sports,
favorite movies, favorite men's magazines.

8
00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:28,318
You know what? I think
you just need to meet him.

9
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:31,126

1
00:00:01,023 --> 00:00:05,119
Oh, she's absolutely adorable.

2
00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:06,569
He.

3
00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:10,041
Oh, sorry. He's... He's
dressed all in pink.

4
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:11,320
That's his favorite color.

5
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:14,977
Oh, that's fun for him.
Fantastic.

6
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:19,093
Oh, wow, look at that. How cute.

7
00:00:19,164 --> 00:00:20,213
Thank you.

8
00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:22,482
Oh, may I? Oh, sure.

9
00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:28,724
Hey, look at me! I'm a baby.

10
00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:31,161

1
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,439
Merry Christmas!

2
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:07,974
Merry Christmas... No!

3
00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:09,599
Why did you bring that here?

4
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,791
Don't worry, she's dead.
Oh, wait.

5
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:13,838
He's dead.

6
00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:15,541
Dwight? What...

7
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:17,715
I accidentally ran over it.

8
00:00:17,766 --> 00:00:19,131
It's a Christmas miracle.

9
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:20,344
Well, get it out of here.

10
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:23,219
Relax, okay? And because

1
00:00:00,468 --> 00:00:02,515
All right, let's get started.

2
00:00:02,703 --> 00:00:05,570
Oh, first off, we're supposed to
be pushing card stock this week.

3
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:09,037
So, let's push card
stock this week.

4
00:00:09,836 --> 00:00:12,066
Also... What is this?

5
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:14,140
Tape recorder.

6
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:15,804
For what?

7
00:00:16,062 --> 00:00:17,256
For recording.

8
00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:20,380
Michael is on vacation and he has
asked me to record all meetings

9
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:21,921
and to type up the transcripts.

10

1
00:00:00,422 --> 00:00:02,234
Jim! Could you come
in here please?

2
00:00:09,539 --> 00:00:10,585
Hi, Jim.

3
00:00:11,039 --> 00:00:12,093
Hello!

4
00:00:12,625 --> 00:00:15,468
I am Harvey, a computer.
Jim sucks.

5
00:00:18,117 --> 00:00:19,132
I am sorry!

6
00:00:20,906 --> 00:00:23,867
That's so rude! I'm sorry,
I can't control him.

7
00:00:23,922 --> 00:00:25,010
Yeah, you can't.

8
00:00:25,039 --> 00:00:26,085
You know what? Get Pam.

9
00:00:26,148 --> 00:00:27,000
For this?

10

1
00:00:01,015 --> 00:00:05,240
I have left Dunder Mifflin after
many record-breaking years,

2
00:00:05,308 --> 00:00:08,835
and I'm officially on the job
market and it's very exciting.

3
00:00:08,912 --> 00:00:11,616
For your convenience, I've
broken it down into three parts.

4
00:00:11,882 --> 00:00:15,741
Professional resume, athletic
and special skills resume

5
00:00:15,819 --> 00:00:17,952
and Dwight Schrute trivia.

6
00:00:18,089 --> 00:00:21,889
I am ready to face any challenges that
might be foolish enough to face me.

7
00:00:22,025 --> 00:00:24,687
How would I describe myself?
Three words.

8
00:00:24,776 --> 00:00:28,761
Hardworking, alpha
male, jackhammer.

9

1
00:00:00,601 --> 00:00:01,671
Hello, Son.

2
00:00:02,203 --> 00:00:04,763
If you're watching this,
that means I'm already dead.

3
00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,062
Life is a... How do you
know it's gonna be a boy?

4
00:00:08,090 --> 00:00:10,867
How... Would you stop
interrupting, please?

5
00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:13,204
Yesterday, I was
scraping some gunk

6
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:15,373
off my wall sockets
with a metal fork

7
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:18,700
and I gave myself
the nastiest shock.

8
00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:22,550
And when I came to,
I had an epiphery.

9

1
00:00:02,742 --> 00:00:04,935
Oh, damn. I lost another file.

2
00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:07,331
Gonna have to reboot, again.

3
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:11,921
Hey, Dwight, do
you want an Altoid?

4
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:13,828
What do you think?

5
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,643
In school, we learned
about this scientist

6
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,699
who trained dogs to salivate
at the sound of a bell

7
00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:24,848
by feeding them
whenever a bell rang.

8
00:00:25,716 --> 00:00:27,027
So, for the past couple weeks,

9
00:00:27,057 --> 00:00:30,153
I've been conducting
a similar experiment.

1
00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:05,128
Hey, Kevin. Nice of you to join us.
Where were you?

2
00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:07,731
My tire blew out on
the way here, Michael.

3
00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:10,971
I almost died. I went into this skid...
Pop quiz.

4
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:13,273
What? Why is today
a special day?

5
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,828
I almost died. Today
is a special day

6
00:00:16,283 --> 00:00:18,751
because I am being honored

7
00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:23,680
as a visiting professor.

8
00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,486
Special lecturer?

9
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:27,742
Emeritus, how did you put it?

1
00:00:02,203 --> 00:00:04,523
Can you confirm that
the straps are tight?

2
00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:06,499
Yes.

3
00:00:07,842 --> 00:00:08,882
But this seems a little...

4
00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:10,308
And now the chains.

5
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:15,110
A lot of people think that
magic camp is just for kids.

6
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:18,171
And that's why so many other
people in my class were kids.

7
00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:20,613
Self-fulfilling prophecy.

8
00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:26,960
It's really for anybody with
a dream and a belief in magic,

9
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:29,922
and a little extra
time after school.

1
00:00:01,737 --> 00:00:04,577
Oh, my God. You're,
like, agoraphobic.

2
00:00:04,609 --> 00:00:05,379
Really? Yeah!

3
00:00:05,412 --> 00:00:08,117
You would rather
sit on your couch

4
00:00:08,150 --> 00:00:09,253
and watch a Phillies game

5
00:00:09,286 --> 00:00:11,391
then go out to a movie with
your awesome girlfriend.

6
00:00:11,424 --> 00:00:12,458
Absolutely correct.

7
00:00:12,493 --> 00:00:13,595
Later, Jim.

8
00:00:13,627 --> 00:00:15,765
Kev, have a good weekend. Bye.

9
00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:18,405
Okay, so this is
what's gonna happen.

1
00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:03,860
Good morning, Pam.

2
00:00:03,938 --> 00:00:05,686
Oh, welcome back, Andy.

3
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:07,873
Drew. I'm Drew now.

4
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:10,837
Oh, Drew. Sorry.

5
00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:13,337
Apology not accepted.

6
00:00:14,437 --> 00:00:17,895
Because it wasn't even
necessary in the first place.

7
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:22,266
Several weeks ago, Andy
Bernard had an incident.

8
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:27,853
But after five weeks
in anger management,

9
00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:32,056
I'm back, and I've got a
new attitude and a new name

1
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:15,163
It's kind of blurry.

2
00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:20,448
That's better.

3
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:29,265
Question: what kind
of bear is best?

4
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:33,366
That's a ridiculous question.
False. Black bear.

5
00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:34,901
Well, that's debatable.

6
00:00:34,969 --> 00:00:36,561
There are basically
two schools of thought.

7
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:39,333
Fact, bears eat beets. Oh...

8
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,602
Bears, beets,

9
00:00:41,676 --> 00:00:43,871
Battlestar Galactica.
Bears do not...

1
00:00:00,668 --> 00:00:01,930
Hey. Hey.

2
00:00:06,580 --> 00:00:07,979
Oh, what's this?

3
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,281
That is a demerit.

4
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:12,636
"Jim Halpert. Tardiness."

5
00:00:13,481 --> 00:00:15,101
Oh. I love it, already.

6
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:17,080
You've got to learn, Jim.
You are a second in command,

7
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,550
but that does not put
you above the law.

8
00:00:18,595 --> 00:00:19,789
Oh, I understand.

9
00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:21,616
And I also have
lots of questions.

10

1
00:00:02,436 --> 00:00:03,960
Okay, where does it hurt?

2
00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:06,097
Just... All over.

3
00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:09,609
I don't want to do anything.
I'm dying.

4
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:10,703
No, that's not how it works.

5
00:00:10,745 --> 00:00:12,940
You have to point to a
specific part of the body.

6
00:00:13,902 --> 00:00:15,199
Right there.

7
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:16,976
Abdomen.

8
00:00:17,482 --> 00:00:19,143
Menses. Maybe.

9
00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:21,387
"The uterus contracts after
your egg passes through it."

10

1
00:00:03,838 --> 00:00:06,568
David... Oh, Michael...

2
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,335
Are we all set?

3
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:12,504
Isn't our interview tomorrow?

4
00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:16,715
Yes. I just happened to
be in the neighborhood.

5
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:18,376
Thought I'd drop
in and say hello.

6
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:21,250
Just happened to be
in midtown Manhattan?

7
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:22,849
Thought I'd catch a show.

8
00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:25,850
In the middle of a workday? No.

9
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,492
You know what, since I'm here,

10