The Life and Times of Tim - Second Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:53,644
- Tim.
- Hey, Stu.

2
00:00:53,686 --> 00:00:56,917
"Making copies!"
Remember that?

3
00:00:56,956 --> 00:00:59,424
- That was funny.
- Rob Schneider is hilarious.

4
00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:01,222
- That was good.
- Speaking of copies,

5
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:03,593
- is the copy machine working?
- Yeah, it seems okay.

6
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:06,098
Oh, 'cause you know
what's not working?

7
00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:07,463
What's not working?

8
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,058
The beard
on your face.

9

1
00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:39,501
- Hello?
- Hey.

2
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:41,632
- Tim?
- It's me, your old boyfriend.

3
00:00:41,674 --> 00:00:43,164
- Hi.
- Little drop-by.

4
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,699
You don't
live here anymore.

5
00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:47,679
I know that.
I need to get some things.

6
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,579
Can you buzz me up?

7
00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:51,345
My stuff still there?

8
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:53,352
Yeah, it's all in
a plastic garbage bag.

9
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,445

1
00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:53,880
Welcome home, Tim.

2
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,478
Thank you.
It's nice to be back...

3
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:56,853
It's great
to have you here.

4
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,085
...even though I never
stopped paying the rent.

5
00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:00,717
Anyway, I got you a little gift.

6
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,854
Oh! It's a bag of fruit?

7
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,365
No, it's a fruit basket.
Except it's in a bag.

8
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:09,163
- So it's a fruit bag?
- No, it's not a fruit... you don't call it that.

9
00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:10,601
- It's fine.

1
00:00:54,587 --> 00:00:56,350
Why are you always
standing there?

2
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,755
- Will you scratch my back?
- Scratch your back?

3
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:00,419
No, I don't like
touching people.

4
00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:02,621
Come on, man.
That's how the business world works.

5
00:01:02,662 --> 00:01:04,391
You scratch my back,
I scratch yours.

6
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:05,796
It's not a literal phrase.

7
00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,891
You don't walk around
scratching people's backs.

8
00:01:07,934 --> 00:01:11,301
Oh, Tim, you have so much
to learn about the corporate world.

9

1
00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,850
Hey, can I get two
of your cheapest beers?

2
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,448
Yeah, you bet. $17.50.

3
00:00:58,491 --> 00:01:00,288
- $17.50?
- Mm-hmm.

4
00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:02,385
- Holy shit.
- Tim, don't embarrass me.

5
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:04,920
- Me? I don't ever embarrass anyone.
- Just give me your wallet.

6
00:01:04,964 --> 00:01:06,864
What are you doing? Hey hey!
There goes the money.

7
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,128
I'm going outside
to use the phone.

8
00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:10,966
I am paying in protest.
Keep that in mind.

9

1
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,950
Emergency.
I think I've got scurvy.

2
00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:59,720
Only cured
by a lime margarita.

3
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,221
Coming right up, boss.

4
00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:04,162
Get it on me.
Body shot time.

5
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:06,495
My boat, my rules.
Whoop whoop!

6
00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:07,898
He should not be
steering this boat.

7
00:01:07,934 --> 00:01:09,526
I will dance with you.

8
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:12,766
I'm king of the world.
I'm king of the shrimp world.

9
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,172

1
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:54,978
All right, whoo!

2
00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:57,114
Let's see what we got here.
Okay okay.

3
00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:58,920
You ready for this?
Boom boom boom boom!

4
00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:00,619
You can just take the shot.

5
00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:03,356
This one's called
the Don Quixote.

6
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:04,385
- Here we go.
- What?

7
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:05,921
- Whoo! Damn!
- Whoa, ow!

8
00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:07,296
- Damn it!
- What happened?

9
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:08,664

1
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:54,216
Oh, man, it's too hot.

2
00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:56,779
It's got to be almost 25°C.

3
00:00:56,823 --> 00:00:58,848
- Don't give me Celsius.
- Too hot to handle.

4
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,156
You gotta kill the rats, by the way.
They're fucking all over the place.

5
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:02,889
These rats keep the cats away.

6
00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:04,726
Oh, what a day.

7
00:01:04,764 --> 00:01:06,561
- Tim.
- Oh, Debbie.

8
00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:09,067
- Hey.
- How's it going? Where've you been?

9
00:01:09,102 --> 00:01:11,468
Oh, you know me.
I'm a working girl.

1
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:55,084
Can you at least try it on,
make sure it fits?

2
00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:56,520
I don't like
the joint costume.

3
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:58,046
Okay, this is
what friends do...

4
00:00:58,091 --> 00:00:59,718
they dress up like
a hot dog together.

5
00:00:59,759 --> 00:01:03,752
- They don't.
- Tim, I spent $900 on this costume.

6
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:05,389
You spent $900?

7
00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:06,990
- Yeah.
- That's too much.

8
00:01:07,033 --> 00:01:08,864
- Look. I am building a legacy...
- Oh, boy.

9

1
00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:54,419
All right, well this
is exciting...

2
00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:56,388
all the heads of the international
branches of OmniCorp

3
00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,152
gathered here together
in one place.

4
00:00:58,191 --> 00:01:00,159
You all seem super excited...

5
00:01:00,193 --> 00:01:01,888
a bunch of boners in slacks.

6
00:01:01,928 --> 00:01:03,691
Now if you'll bear with me,

7
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,721
I'm gonna launch
this meeting in style,

8
00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:07,665
like it's a boat, a new boat.

9
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,691
- Oh my God!
- Oh no.