The Life & Times of Tim - First Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:31,566 --> 00:00:34,535
What can brown do for me?
Move your fucking truck!

2
00:00:36,871 --> 00:00:38,862
Oh, what a weekend.

3
00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:40,703
I mean a three-day cruise

4
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:43,767
and now we get to see
your place in New York, honey.

5
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:46,609
I personally am excited
to meet Tim the boyfriend.

6
00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:49,309
Oh yes, the boyfriend.

7
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:51,147
- You guys.
- My little girl.

8
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:53,847
- I hope you like him.
- I'm sure we will, sweetie.

9
00:00:53,888 --> 00:00:56,482
He sounds positively delightful.

1
00:00:32,650 --> 00:00:35,517
Ah. Timothy, come on in.

2
00:00:35,553 --> 00:00:37,885
- Hey, boss.
- I have a small favor to ask of you.

3
00:00:37,922 --> 00:00:41,289
- Okay.
- If the firm ever gets audited,

4
00:00:41,325 --> 00:00:44,658
if you ever find yourself
under direct interrogation

5
00:00:44,695 --> 00:00:46,492
- by a government official...
- Yeah?

6
00:00:46,530 --> 00:00:48,657
-...I need you--
- I don't like where this is going.

7
00:00:48,699 --> 00:00:50,599
I need you to say your name is

8
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:52,101
- Tim Sanchez and that--
- What?

9
00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:55,936

1
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,030
Oh, Amy,
this is gonna be fun.

2
00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:36,969
- I think so.
- A nice quiet night together.

3
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:38,631
- Yeah, it's gonna be good.
- Movie night.

4
00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:40,367
- Uh, sir?
- Yeah?

5
00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:42,807
Um, you have some
late charges here

6
00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:44,811
on the movie
"Whores on the Loose."

7
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:47,313
- What?
- No no. No no no.

8
00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:48,679
- Stop right there.
- Tim!

1
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,432
-Hey, guys.
- Hi.

2
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:35,867
- Yo.
- You guys want any coffee?

3
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:37,200
I'm gonna run out real quick.

4
00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:39,138
Oh, Timothy,
you are just too sweet.

5
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,663
- A little bit.
- Well...

6
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,938
I would love a grande mochaccino.

7
00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:47,277
- Grande mochaccino.
- And I will take a large vanilla latte

8
00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:50,681
as well as a meatball sub
with extra meatballs, toasted...

9
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:53,050

1
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:33,867
Oh, Stu, don't feel bad.
Come on.

2
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,869
God, I just want to put
a bullet in my brain.

3
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:38,064
I can't believe my date
is a no-show.

4
00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:39,800
- It's not that big a deal.
- Come on, Stu.

5
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,808
This was supposed to be
a double date.

6
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:43,810
No, I mean,
I'm used to it being the three of us.

7
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:46,005
- Yeah.
- And sometimes it's fun.

8
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,105
You guys don't get it, okay?

9

1
00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:34,534
-Oh, hey, Bashko.
- Hello, my friend Tim.

2
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,195
I am here to fix toilet.

3
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:39,365
- That's good.
- And I brought someone with me today--

4
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:41,033
my daughter...

5
00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:42,201
Blobsnark.

6
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:44,404
- Hello, Tim.
- Wow.

7
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:45,878
Pleasure to meet you.

8
00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:48,279
Wow, you guys look
startlingly similar.

9
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:50,180
Yes.

1
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:36,430
There are my boys--
Timbo and Stualicious.

2
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:39,064
- Ugh.
- You know I don't like Timbo.

3
00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:42,269
- And I'm offended by Stualicious.
- Why?

4
00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:45,176
Because you're combining my
name with the word delicious.

5
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,305
Have you conjured
that visual?

6
00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:49,680
Uh, I didn't really,
like, conjure

7
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,480
- or give any thought to it.
- Shocking.

8
00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:53,817
Anyway, hey, I want to play a prank
on the new assistant.

1
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:34,458
Hey, everybody, everybody,
can I get your attention, please?

2
00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:37,437
I want to raise a toast
to our good friend Frank here.

3
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:41,202
As of tonight, he has gone
90 days without a drink.

4
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,437
- Thank you, thank you.
- Wow. Yay!

5
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:46,002
Frank, I gotta ask:
How'd you do it?

6
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:49,573
My life was completely
out of control,

7
00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:53,212
Iike one of those cars
in your various action movies.

8
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:58,021
I mean, I can't tell you how
out of control it was,

1
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:38,966
What?

2
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:41,099
I didn't understand
a word of that.

3
00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:43,007
I know you have
pantyhose on your head,

4
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,409
but that doesn't
even sound like English.

5
00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:47,471
Let me just do the halfway thing.
They're not pantyhose.

6
00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:49,540
- They're stockings.
- There's a difference?

7
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,346
Pantyhose are so gay.
Do I look gay?

8
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,080
- You don't look gay--
- Exactly.

9

1
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:36,668
Where do you want
to go for lunch?

2
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:39,172
My name is Stu.
Yours is Tim.

3
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:40,798
What do you want
for lunch?

4
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:43,002
Now don't bug me now.
My computer's going nuts.

5
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,034
Don't bug you now?
What could be more important

6
00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:46,979
than thinking about
what we're doing for lunch?

7
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:48,777
Come on!
Do it!

8
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:51,307
Come on! It's not working.
This H--