The Big Bang Theory - Third Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:04,069
Previously on The
Big Bang Theory...

2
00:00:04,238 --> 00:00:07,730
I'm going to the Arctic Circle with
Leonard, Wolowitz and Koothrappali.

3
00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:09,842
- For three months?
- Yes.

4
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:13,408
What did you mean when you
said you were going to miss me?

5
00:00:15,315 --> 00:00:17,977
It means I wish
you weren't going,

6
00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:33,524
Oh, thank god we're home.

7
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:37,693
I can't believe we spent
three months in that frozen hell.

8
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:41,363
It was like a snowy nightmare
from which there was no awakening.

9

1
00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,666
Hey, Leonard, check this out.

2
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,209
Leonard, she's doing it again.

3
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:15,839
I think it upsets Sheldon
when you play with the food.

4
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:20,009
No, it upsets Sheldon when she
willy-nilly takes it from the containers

5
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,985
without regard for its
equitable distribution.

6
00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:26,182
This is essentially why
you have famine in India.

7
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,922
You want me to put it back?

8
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,560
- Leonard?
- It upsets Sheldon

9
00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:36,032
when you play with the Sheldon.

1
00:00:07,074 --> 00:00:10,840
Aw, I always tear up when the
Grinch's heart grows three sizes.

2
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,342
Tears seem appropriate.

3
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:15,676
Enlargement of the heart muscle,
or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy

4
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:19,376
is a serious disease, which could
lead to congestive heart failure.

5
00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:22,683
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪

6
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,001
You really didn't
like it, Sheldon?

7
00:00:25,003 --> 00:00:26,188
No, on the contrary.

8
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:31,024
I found the Grinch to be a
relatable, engaging character.

9
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,004
And I was really with

1
00:00:04,471 --> 00:00:07,998
Look at us, getting ready for a
double date with actual women

2
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:11,508
who publicly acknowledge
they're our girlfriends.

3
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:15,170
Yes. I mean, actual
women are the best.

4
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:18,750
I don't understand. What
other kind of women are there?

5
00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:22,582
Howard, artificial women are your
department. You wanna take this?

6
00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:26,692
No, it would just freak him out.

7
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:30,529
Listen, before we
leave, I should warn you

8
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,187
I'm a passionate man,

9
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:35,733

1
00:00:04,371 --> 00:00:07,534
Boy, seems like forever since
the four of us have been out to eat.

2
00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:09,676
You know, just the guys.

3
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:13,836
Oh, god. Yes, we get it.
You have a girlfriend now.

4
00:00:14,047 --> 00:00:17,676
- A little jealous, are we?
- No, I'm not jealous.

5
00:00:20,153 --> 00:00:23,714
All right, I'd kill a hobo if it would
get me laid. Now, can we order?

6
00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:27,325
Oh, dear Lord,
they redid the menu.

7
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,223
So what? It's the same food.

8
00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:31,023
Oh, is it? Look at this.

9
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:34,190
General Tso's Chicken is no

1
00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:18,346
What'cha doing?

2
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,885
I'm attempting to view work
as a fleeting peripheral image,

3
00:00:21,054 --> 00:00:24,922
so as to engage the
superior colliculus of my brain.

4
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:31,263
Interesting. I usually
just have coffee.

5
00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:33,524
- You've been up all night?
- Is it morning?

6
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,931
- Yes.
- Then I've been up all night.

7
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,104
And you're stuck?

8
00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:44,005
Why else would a person try to
engage their superior colliculus?

9
00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:47,943

1
00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:06,003
Yeah, I miss you too, sweetie.

2
00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:08,835
Okay, listen, I gotta go,
but I'll see you tonight?

3
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,977
Bye-bye. Yeah, bye-bye.

4
00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:13,908
No, you hang up first.

5
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,171
Hello?

6
00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,979
Dude, I'm glad you
finally got a girlfriend,

7
00:00:20,153 --> 00:00:23,418
but do you have to do all that lovey-dovey
in front of those of us who don't?

8
00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:25,182
Actually, he might have to.

9
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:28,487
There's an economic concept
known as a "positional good"

1
00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:24,651
Will you please
turn your shirt off?

2
00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:27,356
What? I'm giving myself
dramatic entrance music.

3
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:31,089
People will know I'm
awesome and to be feared.

4
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:33,859
Right. There's nothing more
awesome and frightening

5
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:37,993
than a man who's got music
blasting from between his nipples.

6
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:42,274
- Hey, Stuart. What's going on?
- Well, you might wanna mark

7
00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:46,401
your Google calendars. Stan Lee is
coming to do a signing on Thursday.

8
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:49,105
Did he finally write a
sequel to his autobiography?

1
00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:06,003
Why do I always have
to carry the heavy stuff?

2
00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,333
Well, it's very simple.

3
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:10,500
In our ragtag band of
scientists with nothing to lose,

4
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:13,145
I'm the smart one.
Wolowitz is the funny one.

5
00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:15,247
And Koothrappali is
the lovable foreigner

6
00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:17,815
who struggles to
understand our ways and fails.

7
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,550
That leaves you, by
default, as the muscle.

8
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:27,819
One more floor and
I'd be the pulled muscle.

9

1
00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:05,837
Okay, in Avatar when
they have sex on Pandora

2
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,530
they hook up their ponytails.

3
00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:11,166
So we know their
ponytails, are like their junk.

4
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:12,835
Yeah. So?

5
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,981
So, when they ride
horses and fly on their birds

6
00:00:15,148 --> 00:00:17,639
- they also use their ponytails.
- What's your point?

7
00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:22,016
My point is if I were a horse or a bird I'd
be very nervous around James Cameron.

8
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:27,483
It amazes me how you constantly
obsess over fictional details

9
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:30,653

1
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:11,311
Having a little trouble
catching your breath, there?

2
00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:16,675
No, no, I'm good. If my P.E. teachers
had told me this is what I was training for

3
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,250
I would have tried a lot harder.

4
00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:24,317
Do or do not, there is no try.

5
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,358
Heh. Did you just
quote Star Wars?

6
00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:34,164
I believe I quoted
Empire Strikes Back.

7
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,429
Oh, my god.

8
00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:42,166
I am lying in bed with a beautiful
woman who can quote Yoda.

9
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:50,409
I love you, Penny.

1
00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:04,495
Sheldon, you're wrong.

2
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:06,798
Wolverine was not
born with bone claws.

3
00:00:06,974 --> 00:00:09,204
Howard, you know me
to be a very smart man.

4
00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:13,176
Don't you think if I
were wrong, I'd know it?

5
00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,046
- Okay, first of all...
- Give it up, dude.

6
00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:17,843
You're arguing
with a crazy person.

7
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,851
I'm not crazy. My
mother had me tested.

8
00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:24,323
- Hey, guys.
- What are you doing here?

9

1
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:07,329
Oh, damn. They canceled my Visa.

2
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:10,165
Oh, yay, a new MasterCard.

3
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:12,671
Uh-oh.

4
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,747
- What?
- I was going to get my mail.

5
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:17,349
Okay.

6
00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:22,679
Are you hoping to
get it telepathically?

7
00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:25,321
I think you mean
telekinetically.

8
00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:28,322
And no.

9
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,361
I just wasn't sure of
the protocol now that

1
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:07,204
- Hold.
- What?

2
00:00:07,407 --> 00:00:08,806
Explain your sneeze.

3
00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,810
- I'm sorry?
- Do you have allergies?

4
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:12,460
No.

5
00:00:12,462 --> 00:00:13,809
Is there too much
pepper on your salad?

6
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,485
I don't put pepper on salads.

7
00:00:15,487 --> 00:00:17,415
I've heard enough.
Sit over there.

8
00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:19,811
Come on, I don't
wanna sit by myself.

9
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,887
That's what Typhoid Mary said,

1
00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:04,893
Okay, Baby-Doll pink

2
00:00:05,072 --> 00:00:08,633
let's see if you can cover up
the fact that I got my dad's feet.

3
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,676
It's two degrees, Sheldon.

4
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,835
I just wanna turn up the
thermostat two degrees.

5
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,880
Let me point out that two
degrees can be the difference

6
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:17,129
between water and steam.

7
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:19,151
Yes, if we were
lived in a tea kettle.

8
00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:22,345
This is the temperature you agreed
to in the roommate agreement.

9
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,013
Screw the roommate agreement.

1
00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,836
Okay, we've got
power to the laser.

2
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:09,335
I should've brought an umbrella.

3
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,341
- What for? It's not gonna rain.
- I know that.

4
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:16,347
But with skin as fair as mine,
moon burn is a real possibility.

5
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,241
That's a buzzinga, right?

6
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,880
One of my best, don't you think?

7
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,515
Howard, do you wanna double-check
the equatorial mount on the laser.

8
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,873
We need it locked on
the Sea of Tranquility.

9
00:00:28,875 --> 00:00:29,875
You got it.

1
00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:04,962
♪ Goin' out tonight ♪

2
00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:07,038
♪ I'm feelin' all right ♪

3
00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:10,734
♪ Gonna let it all hang out ♪

4
00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:13,072
♪ Wanna make some noise ♪

5
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,714
♪ Really raise my voice ♪

6
00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:18,374
♪ Yeah, I wanna scream and shout ♪

7
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:23,385
♪ Unh! No... ♪

8
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:26,822
Morning, Sheldon.
Come dance with me.

9
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:28,718
No.

10
00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:31,896
Why not?

1
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,708
This movie baffles me
every time we watch it.

2
00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:10,173
What do you mean?

3
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:14,041
The instructions are very clear. Don't
feed the gremlins after midnight.

4
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:18,411
Don't get the gremlins wet.

5
00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:22,317
How hard is that?

6
00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:24,750
Hi, guys.

7
00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:26,017
- Hi, honey.
- Hey.

8
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:28,593
Oh, we're "honey" now, are we?

9
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:31,162
Yes. Since their
relationship became carnal

1
00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:07,830
All right, Raj has played
his Phantom Warlord card,

2
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:12,843
and I am going to back him
up with my Strangling Vines.

3
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,042
Choke on that, sucker.

4
00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:21,350
Okay. Well, then I'll just cut
your vines with my Ruby Sword.

5
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:25,219
That's right, I
did it. I cut 'em.

6
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,255
Um...

7
00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:30,089
I have a question.

8
00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:34,522
Warlord beats troll, troll
beats elf, elf beats water sprite,

9
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:38,660
and basically everything

1
00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:04,836
- Kites ho!
- Kites ho!

2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,233
Kites ho!

3
00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:08,499
- Kites ho! - Kites ho!
- Kites ho!

4
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,838
Excuse me. You're
misusing the word "ho."

5
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:16,543
It's an interjection used to call
attention to a destination, not an object.

6
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:20,346
As in, uh, "Land ho!"
or, uh, "Westward ho!"

7
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,915
- Kites ho! - Kites ho!
- Kites ho!

8
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,823
Hey, guys. What'cha doing?

9
00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:29,724

1
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,965
Wow, Sheldon, I cannot believe
you made up your own game.

2
00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:10,837
Oh. Research Lab
is more than a game.

3
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,239
It's like the slogan says:

4
00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:16,508
"The physics is theoretical,
but the fun is real."

5
00:00:17,384 --> 00:00:19,682
We must not be playing it right.

6
00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:24,683
All right. Five. One,
two, three, four, five.

7
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,086
Oh, wow, look at that.

8
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:29,093
My Department of Defense
research grant is renewed.

9
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:30,924
Oh. Great roll.

1
00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:05,231
How much time do we have?

2
00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:09,000
Uh, T-minus five hours, 37
minutes to onset of meteor shower.

3
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:13,579
Okay, our position is
34.48° north, 118.31 west.

4
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:17,581
That means the azimuth
should be 168.22°

5
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:21,653
relative to magnetic north
with an elevation of 49.93.

6
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,483
- Anything yet?
- Uh, we have a signal,

7
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:26,490
- but there's no frame lock.
- Hang on. How about now?

8
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:31,695
We did it. Ha, ha. We have
the West Coast feed of HBO.

9

1
00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:05,803
So two years later,
there's a knock on the door.

2
00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:07,838
Guy opens it, and there
on his porch is the snail

3
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,909
who says, "What the
heck was all that about?"

4
00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:15,211
I don't really get it.

5
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:20,017
Well, see, it took two
years for the snail to...

6
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,886
Not important.

7
00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:27,585
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.

8
00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:30,355
Where do you
think this is going?

9
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,693