The Big Bang Theory - Second Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:01,368 -> 00:00:03,402
Okay, are you from
Star Wars universe?

2
00:00:03,470 -> 00:00:04,636
Yes

3
00:00:04,704 -> 00:00:06,005
You were in the original trilogy?

4
00:00:06,072 -> 00:00:07,105
Yes

5
00:00:07,173 -> 00:00:11,143
Is there a picture of you in my wallet
using a metal bikini?

6
00:00:12,312 -> 00:00:14,046
God, I hope not.

7
00:00:15,248 -> 00:00:17,016
And no, I'm Princess Leia.

8
00:00:17,046 -> 00:00:18,132
Okay, okay, my turn ...

9
00:00:18,635 -> 00:00:20,728
Are you in the six
Star Wars films?

10

1
00:00:00,030 --> 00:00:02,270
so you see what you are eating is not technically yogurt,

2
00:00:02,280 --> 00:00:04,910
because it doesn't have enough live acidophilus cultures.

3
00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:08,420
It's really just ice milk with carrageenan added for thickness.

4
00:00:08,430 --> 00:00:10,530
Oh,that's very interesting.

5
00:00:10,540 --> 00:00:13,530
It's also not pink and has no berries.

6
00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:17,010
Yeah,but it doesn't really answer my question.

7
00:00:17,020 --> 00:00:18,550
What was your question again?

8
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,730
Do you want some?

9
00:00:21,750 --> 00:00:22,700
Right. No.

10
00:00:22,710 --> 00:00:24,060
- I'm lactose intolerant. - Right.

1
00:00:01,882 --> 00:00:04,756
Worst. Renaissance. Fair. Ever.

2
00:00:06,817 --> 00:00:08,808
Please let it go, Sheldon.

3
00:00:08,928 --> 00:00:11,890
It was rife
with historical inaccuracies.

4
00:00:12,050 --> 00:00:14,667
For example, the tavern girl
serving flagons of mead.

5
00:00:14,787 --> 00:00:16,964
Her costume
was obviously Germanic.

6
00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:18,697
But in 1487,

7
00:00:18,817 --> 00:00:21,399
the Bavarian purity laws,
or Reinheitsgebot,

8
00:00:21,559 --> 00:00:24,023
severely limited
the availability of mead.

9
00:00:24,143 --> 00:00:26,433
At best, they would have had

1
00:00:01,022 --> 00:00:02,266
Fellow warriors,

2
00:00:02,499 --> 00:00:04,206
this is Sheldor the Conqueror.

3
00:00:04,326 --> 00:00:06,286
We are about to enter
Axidus' fortress.

4
00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:09,675
Now, this is a long run,
so let's do another bladder check.

5
00:00:12,210 --> 00:00:14,041
OK, Barry,
we'll wait for you again,

6
00:00:14,161 --> 00:00:16,220
but you really should see a doctor.

7
00:00:20,461 --> 00:00:22,043
Sheldor is AFK.

8
00:00:27,508 --> 00:00:29,971
Are you experiencing
some sort of difficulty?

9
00:00:30,091 --> 00:00:32,410
Yes. I can't get
my stupid door open.

1
00:00:00,377 --> 00:00:02,630
Let's see,
Raj was the kung pao–chicken.

2
00:00:02,905 --> 00:00:05,038
- I'm the dumplings.
- Yes, you are.

3
00:00:06,877 --> 00:00:08,077
Creepy, Howard.

4
00:00:08,863 --> 00:00:10,221
Creepy good or creepy bad?

5
00:00:11,911 --> 00:00:13,605
Who was the shrimp
with lobster sauce?

6
00:00:13,725 --> 00:00:17,125
That would be me.
Come to papa, you un-kosher delight.

7
00:00:19,081 --> 00:00:21,232
I'm not necessarily
talking to the food.

8
00:00:26,992 --> 00:00:28,171
Sit over there.

9
00:00:33,339 --> 00:00:34,546
Sit over there.

1
00:00:10,090 --> 00:00:11,222
Good morning.

2
00:00:13,718 --> 00:00:16,079
We're gonna have to stop
by Pottery Barn on the way to work.

3
00:00:16,199 --> 00:00:18,438
I bought these Star Wars sheets, but,

4
00:00:18,558 --> 00:00:20,526
they turned out to be
much too stimulating

5
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:23,151
to be compatible
with a good night's sleep.

6
00:00:25,194 --> 00:00:27,572
I don't like the way
Darth Vader stares at me.

7
00:00:29,025 --> 00:00:30,254
I'm not going to work.

8
00:00:30,529 --> 00:00:33,031
Just because your career's
been stagnant for a few years,

9
00:00:33,151 --> 00:00:34,916
that's no reason to give up.

1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,860
you are considering
going into experimental physics,

2
00:00:02,860 --> 00:00:04,460
my door is always open.

3
00:00:04,460 --> 00:00:05,800
Once again, I'm sorry

4
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:07,430
that the demonstration
didn't quite work out,

5
00:00:07,430 --> 00:00:10,030
but now we know what happens
when you accidentally spill

6
00:00:10,030 --> 00:00:13,600
Peach Snapple into
a helium neon laser.

7
00:00:14,660 --> 00:00:17,460
Short answer is... don't.

8
00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:24,560
And now to tell you about the
theoretical physics department

9
00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:26,230
is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

1
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:10,330
Time!

2
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:12,400
All right, Klingons, pencils down.

3
00:00:14,460 --> 00:00:16,460
Okay, I have "pokh."

4
00:00:16,530 --> 00:00:18,130
Have it. Got it.

5
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,130
"Potl."

6
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:20,400
Yup. Have it. Have it.

7
00:00:20,460 --> 00:00:21,400
"Pukhpa."

8
00:00:21,460 --> 00:00:22,730
Have it. Got it. Yup.

9
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:23,730
I have "chorrr."

10
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:24,630
Got it. Yup.

1
00:00:00,660 --> 00:00:02,380
Penny, hello.

2
00:00:03,190 --> 00:00:03,940
Hey, sheldon.

3
00:00:04,270 --> 00:00:05,700
What is shaking?

4
00:00:08,580 --> 00:00:10,040
I'm sorry?

5
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:13,610
It's colloquial, a conversation opener.

6
00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:16,090
So, do you find the weather satisfying?

7
00:00:16,710 --> 00:00:18,220
Are you currently sharing in the triumph

8
00:00:18,220 --> 00:00:19,730
of some local sports team?

9
00:00:21,410 --> 00:00:23,360
What's wrong with you? you're freaking me out.

10
00:00:24,370 --> 00:00:26,720
I'm striking up a casual conversation with you.

1
00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,690
I don't see anything at all,Sheldon.

2
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:11,420
Well,you're the doctor, but I am
constantly hearing this annoying sound.

3
00:00:11,870 --> 00:00:14,280
Me,too.

4
00:00:14,610 --> 00:00:16,120
Is it a high-frequency whistle?

5
00:00:16,130 --> 00:00:20,330
No,it's more of a relentless,
narcissistic drone.

6
00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:23,990
Yup,there's no
inflammation at all,Sheldon.

7
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,720
Then it must be a tumor.

8
00:00:27,550 --> 00:00:29,390
Seriously doubt it.

9
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:34,550
Maybe it's a lingering bacterial infection
from all those childhood toilet swirlies.

1
00:00:00,428 --> 00:00:03,298
Your argument is lacking
on all scientific merit.

2
00:00:03,423 --> 00:00:06,827
And it is well established,
Superman cleans his uniform

3
00:00:06,952 --> 00:00:10,703
by flying into Earth yellow Sun,
which incinerate any contaminate matter

4
00:00:10,828 --> 00:00:14,645
and leaves the unvulnerable Kryptonian
fabric unharmed and daisy fresh.

5
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,469
What if he gets something
Kryptonian on it?

6
00:00:18,594 --> 00:00:21,730
- Like what?
- I don't know. Kryptonian mustard.

7
00:00:22,485 --> 00:00:25,123
I think we can safely assume
that all Kryptonian condiments

8
00:00:25,248 --> 00:00:28,100
were destroyed
when the planet Krypton exploded.

1
00:00:00,870 --> 00:00:03,802
All right, that's the last servo.

2
00:00:04,302 --> 00:00:07,171
Behold the Mobile
Omnidirectional Neutralization

3
00:00:07,296 --> 00:00:09,146
and Termination Eradicator.

4
00:00:09,662 --> 00:00:10,545
Or...

5
00:00:10,670 --> 00:00:11,670
MONTE.

6
00:00:13,613 --> 00:00:16,056
Featuring one articulated
razor-sharp killing saw,

7
00:00:16,226 --> 00:00:18,315
one polycarbonate grinding
and flipping wheel,

8
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:20,439
steel-armor plate exoskeleton
top and bottom,

9
00:00:20,564 --> 00:00:23,479
and enough horsepower to drive
a 110 pounds of mechanized death

1
00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:03,157
Mmm...

2
00:00:05,767 --> 00:00:11,766
Gentlemen, I put it to you.
The worst tapioca pudding is better than
the best pudding of any other flavor.

3
00:00:13,670 --> 00:00:16,992
First off, that is axiomatically wrong,
because the best pudding is chocolate.

4
00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:23,045
Secondly, the organic structure of tapioca makes it
a jiggling bowl of potential death.

5
00:00:23,045 --> 00:00:24,332
It is extracted from the plant-

6
00:00:24,332 --> 00:00:26,400
Hey, I'm thinking of growing a mustache.

7
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,740
No kidding! Foo Man Choo! A handlebar pencil.

8
00:00:31,849 --> 00:00:35,605
Sheldon: It is extracted from the plant-
Howard: I'm not sure yet. You know, George Clooney has one now!

9
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:39,136
Really? I once saw him shopping at Ralph's.

1
00:00:04,397 --> 00:00:06,255
The problem appears
to be unsolvable.

2
00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:08,538
Maybe we could run
some computer simulations.

3
00:00:08,663 --> 00:00:10,926
There are too many variables.
It would take forever.

4
00:00:11,167 --> 00:00:13,417
We've got to be missing something.

5
00:00:13,687 --> 00:00:14,915
Let's start again.

6
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,990
The movie is playing here
at 7:20, here at 7:40,

7
00:00:18,723 --> 00:00:20,770
here at 8:10 and here at 8:45.

8
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,813
These theaters
have to be eliminated.

9
00:00:23,983 --> 00:00:27,442
Why? They're state-of-the-art digital

1
00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:08,730
I don't ever want to feel

2
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,830
Like I did that day

3
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:14,700
Take me to the place I love

4
00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,160
Take me all the way

5
00:00:17,230 --> 00:00:20,560
I don't ever want to feel

6
00:00:20,630 --> 00:00:22,100
Like I did that day

7
00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:24,100
Take me to the place I lo...

8
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,200
Fellas, please.

9
00:00:29,260 --> 00:00:30,460
Penny, come on.

10
00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:33,200
We were just finding our sound.

1
00:00:00,850 --> 00:00:03,080
Okay, Raj.

2
00:00:03,100 --> 00:00:06,110
Hand me the #6 Torx screwdriver.

3
00:00:07,370 --> 00:00:09,200
Stop.

4
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:11,040
We can't do this. It's not right.

5
00:00:11,050 --> 00:00:13,020
Sheldon, you have two choices.

6
00:00:13,060 --> 00:00:14,910
ther you let him put a
bigger hard drive in the TiVo,

7
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:16,980
or you delete stuff
before we go out of town.

8
00:00:17,010 --> 00:00:20,550
But once you open the box,
you've voided the warranty.

9
00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:24,540
The warranty is a sacred covenant we've
entered into with the manufacturer.

1
00:00:00,030 --> 00:00:01,300
Oh, look,  Saturn 3 is on.

2
00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:02,630
I don't want to watch  Saturn 3.

3
00:00:02,700 --> 00:00:04,030
Deep Space Nine is better.

4
00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:07,800
How is Deep Space Nine better than Saturn 3?

5
00:00:07,860 --> 00:00:11,560
Simple subtraction will tell you it's six better.

6
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:16,460
Compromise. Watch Babylon 5.

7
00:00:16,530 --> 00:00:19,530
In what sense is that a compromise?

8
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:24,230
Well, five is partway between three... Never mind.

9
00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:25,360
I'll tell you what.

10
00:00:25,430 --> 00:00:27,060
How about we go rock-paper-scissors?

1
00:00:01,151 --> 00:00:04,552
Knight to Queen's Bishop 5.

2
00:00:04,721 --> 00:00:07,019
Ah. Very nice. What's Leonard gonna do?

3
00:00:07,190 --> 00:00:09,454
Does he give up the pawn
or give up the position?

4
00:00:09,626 --> 00:00:12,857
Mm. Let's find out. Leonard, ready?

5
00:00:13,396 --> 00:00:14,920
Ready.

6
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,588
Go.

7
00:00:19,703 --> 00:00:21,694
[HUMMING IN UNISON
THE "MISSION IMPOSSIBLE" THEME]

8
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:38,478
[BUZZER SOUNDS]

9
00:00:40,390 --> 00:00:41,516
Damn it. I slipped.

10
00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:46,054

1
00:00:01,051 --> 00:00:02,541
Okay, it's done.

2
00:00:02,752 --> 00:00:05,949
Look, guys, for the future,
I don't mind killing the big spiders...

3
00:00:06,156 --> 00:00:09,455
...but you have to at least try
with the little ones.

4
00:00:09,659 --> 00:00:13,789
Penny, please. We're facing a far more
serious problem than stray arachnids.

5
00:00:13,997 --> 00:00:17,831
-Sheldon, it's not that bad.
-Not bad? It's horrible.

6
00:00:18,034 --> 00:00:21,765
You hear stories about this sort of thing.
You never think it will happen to you.

7
00:00:21,971 --> 00:00:25,702
So they steamed your dumplings.
Get over it.

8
00:00:26,843 --> 00:00:28,743
New topic, please.

9
00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:32,142

1
00:00:03,753 --> 00:00:05,744
[GROANS]

2
00:00:11,494 --> 00:00:13,519
[CONTINUES GROANING]

3
00:00:15,732 --> 00:00:17,427
Problem?

4
00:00:17,667 --> 00:00:19,635
-This is Thai food.
-Here we go.

5
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:24,172
We don't have Thai food on Thursday.
We have pizza on Thursday.

6
00:00:24,340 --> 00:00:27,036
Yes, but we all agreed
the third Thursday of every month...

7
00:00:27,210 --> 00:00:29,235
...would be
Anything Can Happen Thursday.

8
00:00:29,412 --> 00:00:32,540
The news didn't reach
my digestive system which, when startled...

9
00:00:32,716 --> 00:00:35,913
...has its own version

1
00:00:01,051 --> 00:00:03,884
Okay.
Are you from the Star Wars universe?

2
00:00:04,054 --> 00:00:05,078
Yes.

3
00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:07,348
-Were you in the original trilogy?
-Yes.

4
00:00:07,791 --> 00:00:11,591
Is there a picture of you in my wallet
wearing a metal bikini?

5
00:00:13,129 --> 00:00:14,494
God, I hope not.

6
00:00:15,398 --> 00:00:19,061
-No, I'm not Princess Leia.
-Okay, my turn.

7
00:00:19,235 --> 00:00:21,396
Are you in all six Star Wars movies?

8
00:00:21,571 --> 00:00:23,004
-Yes.
-Interesting.

9
00:00:23,173 --> 00:00:25,437
-Are you a droid?

1
00:00:06,289 --> 00:00:07,278
[SNIFFS]

2
00:00:07,457 --> 00:00:09,254
Smell that?

3
00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:12,520
That's the smell of new comic books.

4
00:00:13,897 --> 00:00:15,990
Oh, yes.

5
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:19,095
They're on me today, boys.

6
00:00:19,536 --> 00:00:23,267
You're paying?
Have you been selling your sperm again?

7
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:25,632
No, I'm celebrating.

8
00:00:25,809 --> 00:00:29,472
As we speak, the space shuttle is docking
at the International Space Station...

9
00:00:29,646 --> 00:00:34,174
...where it will deploy the Wolowitz
Zero-Gravity Waste Disposal System.

10

1
00:00:03,820 --> 00:00:05,981
Oh, boy.

2
00:00:07,190 --> 00:00:08,214
What?

3
00:00:08,391 --> 00:00:13,328
I can't comment without violating our
agreement that I not criticize your work.

4
00:00:13,496 --> 00:00:18,490
-Then what was "Oh, boy"?
-Great restraint on my part.

5
00:00:18,902 --> 00:00:21,097
There's nothing wrong
with the science here.

6
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:25,833
Perhaps you mean a different thing
than I do when you say "science."

7
00:00:32,716 --> 00:00:33,944
Okay, how's that?

8
00:00:34,350 --> 00:00:36,716
You actually had it right
in the first place.

9
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:42,182
Once again, you've fallen

1
00:00:02,310 --> 00:00:03,880
That was close.

2
00:00:05,730 --> 00:00:08,970
God, I love the smell of
paintballs in the morning.

3
00:00:09,750 --> 00:00:12,350
Yeah, still funny, Raj.

4
00:00:14,430 --> 00:00:15,750
There's no way we can get to the ridge.

5
00:00:15,790 --> 00:00:17,900
The Chemistry Department
has us completely cut off.

6
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:19,380
But what about the creek bed?

7
00:00:19,410 --> 00:00:24,590
The Pharmacology Department controls that, and
they're all hopped up on experimental steroids.

8
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:26,000
That's it then. We're doomed.

9
00:00:26,010 --> 00:00:29,350
I think the time has come to acknowledge
that we are paying the price for some of us