The Big Bang Theory - Fourth Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:07,118 --> 00:00:09,567
And now the Kung Pao chicken.

2
00:00:09,569 --> 00:00:11,680
Yeah, smooth.

3
00:00:11,856 --> 00:00:15,417
And finally, my Moo Shu pork.

4
00:00:17,962 --> 00:00:19,862
Whoo-hoo!

5
00:00:20,031 --> 00:00:24,468
There you have it, gentlemen.
Our entire dinner unpacked by robot.

6
00:00:24,636 --> 00:00:26,627
And it only took 28 minutes.

7
00:00:27,972 --> 00:00:30,471
Impressive, but we
must be cautious.

8
00:00:30,473 --> 00:00:31,473
Why?

9
00:00:31,810 --> 00:00:34,540
Today, it's a
Chinese-food-retrieval robot.

10

1
00:00:12,434 --> 00:00:14,231
Clarify something for me.

2
00:00:14,402 --> 00:00:19,601
Isn't the point of a communal meal
the exchange of ideas and opinions,

3
00:00:19,774 --> 00:00:22,743
an opportunity to consider
important issues of the day?

4
00:00:22,911 --> 00:00:25,937
It is. You just kind of put a
damper on things when you said:

5
00:00:26,114 --> 00:00:30,141
"The next person I see talking with food
in their mouth will be put to death."

6
00:00:30,919 --> 00:00:33,149
We could argue about
who said what all night long,

7
00:00:33,321 --> 00:00:35,915
but, to set things back on course,

8
00:00:36,091 --> 00:00:38,616
I will propose a new
topic of conversation.

9
00:00:38,793 --> 00:00:39,851

1
00:00:09,129 --> 00:00:11,154
Water Demon.

2
00:00:12,299 --> 00:00:13,357
Ice Dragon.

3
00:00:14,902 --> 00:00:17,700
Lesser Warlord of Ka'a.

4
00:00:17,871 --> 00:00:20,305
Not so fast.

5
00:00:20,807 --> 00:00:22,331
Infinite Sheldon.

6
00:00:24,478 --> 00:00:25,706
Infinite Sheldon?

7
00:00:25,879 --> 00:00:28,712
Yes. Infinite Sheldon
defeats all other cards,

8
00:00:28,882 --> 00:00:30,685
and does not violate
the rule against

9
00:00:30,687 --> 00:00:32,841
homemade cards,
because I made it at work.

10

1
00:00:03,907 --> 00:00:07,673
Ma, Ma, calm down. Listen to me.
I know it says click with the mouse,

2
00:00:07,844 --> 00:00:11,143
but on a laptop, the
trackpad is the mouse.

3
00:00:11,314 --> 00:00:16,411
Now, put your finger on it.
No, doesn't matter which finger.

4
00:00:17,787 --> 00:00:19,220
Good choice.

5
00:00:19,389 --> 00:00:22,187
Yeah, now move it
down to your e-mail icon.

6
00:00:22,359 --> 00:00:24,884
Yeah, the little envelope.

7
00:00:25,061 --> 00:00:28,553
What do you mean what does it
look like? It looks like an envelope!

8
00:00:28,732 --> 00:00:31,701
Fine, you don't like the
computer, don't use it.

9
00:00:31,868 --> 00:00:35,531

1
00:00:03,357 --> 00:00:04,847
Hey, you guys ready to order?

2
00:00:05,359 --> 00:00:08,192
Since we come in every
Tuesday night at 6:00,

3
00:00:08,362 --> 00:00:11,798
and order the same exact
thing, and it's now 6:08,

4
00:00:11,965 --> 00:00:14,456
I believe your question
not only answers itself,

5
00:00:14,635 --> 00:00:18,036
but also stands alongside such
other nonsensical queries as:

6
00:00:18,238 --> 00:00:19,535
"Who let the dogs out?"

7
00:00:19,740 --> 00:00:22,538
And, uh, "How are they hanging?"

8
00:00:23,844 --> 00:00:27,507
Okay, so the usual with extra
spit on Sheldon's hamburger.

9
00:00:28,515 --> 00:00:31,780
Penny, a moment. Do you

1
00:00:03,481 --> 00:00:07,918
Good evening. I'm your guest
lecturer, Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

2
00:00:12,423 --> 00:00:15,915
I was expecting applause.

3
00:00:16,093 --> 00:00:20,052
But I suppose stunned
silence is equally appropriate.

4
00:00:20,231 --> 00:00:23,200
I agreed to speak
to you this evening,

5
00:00:23,367 --> 00:00:26,268
because I was told you're
the best and the brightest

6
00:00:26,437 --> 00:00:28,997
of this university's
doctoral candidates.

7
00:00:29,173 --> 00:00:32,438
Hmm. 'Course, that's like saying
you're the most important electron

8
00:00:32,610 --> 00:00:34,908
in a hydrogen atom.

9
00:00:38,249 --> 00:00:40,740

1
00:00:03,689 --> 00:00:05,350
Here's what I wonder
about zombies.

2
00:00:07,860 --> 00:00:10,522
What happens if they can't
get any human flesh to eat?

3
00:00:10,696 --> 00:00:13,824
They can't starve to
death, they're already dead.

4
00:00:13,999 --> 00:00:16,297
You take this one. I
spent an hour last night

5
00:00:16,469 --> 00:00:20,371
on, "how do vampires shave when they
can't see themselves in the mirror?"

6
00:00:21,707 --> 00:00:25,302
Well-groomed vampires meet in pairs
and shave each other. Case closed.

7
00:00:26,545 --> 00:00:28,036
Yeah, okay, so, zombies?

8
00:00:28,038 --> 00:00:30,709
I guess it depends
on the zombies, Raj.

9

1
00:00:02,220 --> 00:00:04,211
Previously on The
Big Bang Theory

2
00:00:04,389 --> 00:00:07,085
Guess who I found at
LAX? My baby sister, Priya.

3
00:00:07,258 --> 00:00:08,885
It's really nice to see
you again, Leonard.

4
00:00:09,060 --> 00:00:11,051
Yeah, it's good to see you too.

5
00:00:11,229 --> 00:00:13,060
- Here you go.
- Thanks.

6
00:00:16,367 --> 00:00:19,131
- You slept with my sister?
- Yeah.

7
00:00:19,304 --> 00:00:20,875
This is a terrible
betrayal of my trust.

8
00:00:20,877 --> 00:00:21,602
Would it help

9
00:00:21,773 --> 00:00:26,608

1
00:00:03,479 --> 00:00:06,778
Buonasera, Luigi's Pizza.

2
00:00:06,949 --> 00:00:11,249
Buonasera, it means
"good evening" in Italian.

3
00:00:11,421 --> 00:00:13,412
May I say having
to explain that to you

4
00:00:13,589 --> 00:00:17,252
calls into question the
authenticity of your ristorante?

5
00:00:17,927 --> 00:00:19,087
Okay, I'm out of here.

6
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:20,600
Un momento.

7
00:00:21,397 --> 00:00:24,298
Oh, for heaven's sake, now
you're being deliberately stupid.

8
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:26,404
Where are you going?

9
00:00:26,406 --> 00:00:28,092
I'm having dinner
with Priya at Raj's.

1
00:00:04,951 --> 00:00:07,476
- Morning.
- Morning.

2
00:00:08,855 --> 00:00:10,686
- Sleep okay?
- Mm-hm, great.

3
00:00:13,092 --> 00:00:15,925
- Hey, can I ask you something?
- Sure.

4
00:00:16,095 --> 00:00:19,223
Last night, me wanting to try
that stuff out of the Kama Sutra

5
00:00:19,399 --> 00:00:22,857
was that fun for you or
kind of racially insensitive?

6
00:00:23,036 --> 00:00:25,402
Yeah, just because you're
in bed with an Indian woman

7
00:00:25,572 --> 00:00:28,405
you think that gives you
permission to use crazy positions

8
00:00:28,575 --> 00:00:30,805
from an ancient
Indian love manual?

1
00:00:04,118 --> 00:00:09,146
Why hast thou forsaken me, oh,
deity, whose existence I doubt?

2
00:00:10,191 --> 00:00:12,819
Here, breathe into this bag.

3
00:00:14,195 --> 00:00:15,233
What's going on?

4
00:00:15,235 --> 00:00:17,961
They stole everything, Leonard.

5
00:00:18,132 --> 00:00:19,326
Everything!

6
00:00:20,201 --> 00:00:21,277
Are you the roommate?

7
00:00:21,279 --> 00:00:23,227
Yeah, Leonard Hofstadter.
What happened?

8
00:00:23,404 --> 00:00:25,497
Your friend called
911 to report a robbery.

9
00:00:25,673 --> 00:00:27,368
Oh, my god, what did they get?

10

1
00:00:04,911 --> 00:00:06,242
What you doing there?

2
00:00:06,446 --> 00:00:09,108
Working on a new plan
to catch the roadrunner?

3
00:00:09,749 --> 00:00:13,617
The humorous implication
being that I am Wile E. Coyote?

4
00:00:14,621 --> 00:00:16,282
Yes.

5
00:00:16,489 --> 00:00:18,957
And this is a schematic
for a bird-trapping device

6
00:00:19,125 --> 00:00:22,822
that will ultimately backfire
and cause me physical injury?

7
00:00:24,163 --> 00:00:25,892
Yes.

8
00:00:29,035 --> 00:00:34,234
Okay, what I'm doing here is trying
to determine when I'm going to die.

9
00:00:34,407 --> 00:00:37,638
Mm-hm. A lot of people

1
00:00:02,679 --> 00:00:06,775
My new book, The Hidden
Reality, takes on a grand question:

2
00:00:06,950 --> 00:00:09,942
Is our universe
the only universe?

3
00:00:10,286 --> 00:00:13,346
You see, there's a growing
belief among scientists like me,

4
00:00:13,523 --> 00:00:16,822
that ours may only be
one among many universes

5
00:00:16,993 --> 00:00:18,984
populating a gigantic cosmos.

6
00:00:19,529 --> 00:00:21,861
In The Hidden Reality,
I explore this possibility

7
00:00:22,031 --> 00:00:25,057
without presuming any knowledge
of mathematics or physics,

8
00:00:25,235 --> 00:00:26,725
on the part of the reader.

9
00:00:26,936 --> 00:00:29,131

1
00:00:04,846 --> 00:00:06,370
Leonard, are you in the shower?

2
00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:09,642
I can't hear you.
I'm in the shower.

3
00:00:09,817 --> 00:00:13,719
I asked if you were in the
shower, but that's moot now.

4
00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:15,014
What?

5
00:00:15,189 --> 00:00:19,683
Moot. Rendered
unimportant by recent events.

6
00:00:19,861 --> 00:00:22,261
I can't hear you.
I'm in the shower.

7
00:00:22,430 --> 00:00:24,227
I have to skip the chitchat.

8
00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:25,593
Emergency.

9
00:00:25,767 --> 00:00:27,602
What kind of emergency?

1
00:00:06,481 --> 00:00:08,972
I must say, Penny,
this is great fun.

2
00:00:09,150 --> 00:00:10,640
Glad you're enjoying yourself.

3
00:00:10,819 --> 00:00:13,086
Until I met you, and Bernadette,
my trips to the bathroom

4
00:00:13,088 --> 00:00:16,023
had been entirely
focused on elimination.

5
00:00:16,691 --> 00:00:19,489
Now they have a
delightful social aspect.

6
00:00:19,661 --> 00:00:23,290
Amy, you must've been in the
bathroom with other women before.

7
00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:26,090
Of course I have.

8
00:00:26,301 --> 00:00:28,235
But, they were strangers
and seemed off-put

9
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:31,497

1
00:00:03,981 --> 00:00:06,245
Hey, do me a favor
and take Table 7?

2
00:00:07,218 --> 00:00:10,676
You mean, the one with my
118-pound rock-hard stud of a fiancée,

3
00:00:10,855 --> 00:00:14,154
who's prone to canker
sores and pinkeye?

4
00:00:14,325 --> 00:00:17,089
Nah, I prefer to look at it as
the one with my ex-boyfriend,

5
00:00:17,261 --> 00:00:19,620
and his gorgeous, successful
and sophisticated girlfriend,

6
00:00:19,622 --> 00:00:22,289
who makes me feel
like a toothless okie.

7
00:00:24,135 --> 00:00:26,126
Do you want me to
spill hot soup on her?

8
00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:29,370
Oh please, you're
not that kind of person.

1
00:00:03,660 --> 00:00:05,628
- Hey, you guys ready to order?
- Sure.

2
00:00:05,795 --> 00:00:08,161
- Okay, Priya.
- I'll have the Shepherd's Pie.

3
00:00:08,331 --> 00:00:11,357
- You want to split that with me?
- Oh, no, no, no, he doesn't.

4
00:00:11,534 --> 00:00:12,899
Why not?

5
00:00:13,069 --> 00:00:15,594
Well, milk in the taters, milk
in the gravy, Parmesan crust.

6
00:00:15,772 --> 00:00:20,368
Your lactose-intolerant boyfriend will
turn into a gas-filled Macy's Day balloon.

7
00:00:22,712 --> 00:00:25,738
Not quite accurate. The Macy's
balloons are filled with helium,

8
00:00:25,915 --> 00:00:29,578
whereas Leonard produces
copious amounts of methane.

9

1
00:00:03,412 --> 00:00:06,040
All right. I'm ready
for my next question.

2
00:00:06,682 --> 00:00:09,549
In a world where rhinoceroses
are domesticated pets

3
00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:11,516
who wins the second World War?

4
00:00:15,091 --> 00:00:16,991
- Uganda.
- Defend.

5
00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:20,220
Kenya rises to power on
the export of rhinoceroses.

6
00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:24,423
A central African power block is formed
colonizing North Africa and Europe.

7
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,899
When war breaks out, no one
can afford the luxury of a rhino.

8
00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:30,334
Kenya withers, Uganda triumphs.

9
00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:34,804

1
00:00:03,613 --> 00:00:06,104
I'm telling you, if xenon
emits ultraviolet light,

2
00:00:06,282 --> 00:00:08,546
than those dark-matter
discoveries must be wrong.

3
00:00:08,718 --> 00:00:12,347
Yes, well, if we lived in a world where
slow-moving xenon produced light,

4
00:00:12,522 --> 00:00:14,888
then you'd be correct.
Also, pigs would fly,

5
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:17,117
my derriere would
produce cotton candy,

6
00:00:17,293 --> 00:00:20,626
and The Phantom Menace
would be a timeless classic.

7
00:00:20,797 --> 00:00:22,196
Oh, you're so arrogant.

8
00:00:22,365 --> 00:00:25,266
If you were a superhero, your
name would be Captain Arrogant.

9

1
00:00:05,416 --> 00:00:07,230
All I'm saying is, if
they took all the money

2
00:00:07,232 --> 00:00:09,045
they spent trying to
make a decent Hulk movie,

3
00:00:09,220 --> 00:00:11,984
they could probably
just make an actual Hulk.

4
00:00:12,756 --> 00:00:14,383
That is apt and amusing.

5
00:00:15,392 --> 00:00:18,452
I think I shall share that
with Amy Farrah Fowler.

6
00:00:19,563 --> 00:00:22,157
- She'll appreciate the witticism.
- Thank you.

7
00:00:22,366 --> 00:00:25,563
It will also help improve
her initial impression of you.

8
00:00:27,004 --> 00:00:29,119
So, what's going
on with you two?

9

1
00:00:07,881 --> 00:00:08,688
Problem?

2
00:00:08,690 --> 00:00:11,112
This is the worst
cobbler I've eaten.

3
00:00:11,284 --> 00:00:15,380
It tastes like it's made of
actual ground-up shoe maker.

4
00:00:15,555 --> 00:00:16,427
Amusing.

5
00:00:16,429 --> 00:00:19,047
A play on the two
meanings of cobbler.

6
00:00:21,828 --> 00:00:25,423
Hey, guys. Guess who I found
at LAX? My baby sister Priya.

7
00:00:25,598 --> 00:00:27,589
Excuse me, I object.

8
00:00:27,767 --> 00:00:31,794
You propose a guessing game, yet
you don't give me enough time to guess.

9
00:00:32,806 --> 00:00:35,639
For the record, I was going

1
00:00:03,706 --> 00:00:06,869
No, seriously, I think I've finally
figured out my problem with women.

2
00:00:07,110 --> 00:00:10,637
The capybara is the largest
member of the rodent family.

3
00:00:10,847 --> 00:00:13,008
What does that have to
do with me and women?

4
00:00:13,216 --> 00:00:15,047
Nothing, it was a
desperate attempt

5
00:00:15,218 --> 00:00:18,210
to introduce an alternate
topic of conversation.

6
00:00:18,388 --> 00:00:20,618
My problem is I don't
project confidence.

7
00:00:20,790 --> 00:00:24,282
So I decided, that the next time I
meet a woman I think is attractive

8
00:00:24,460 --> 00:00:26,792
rather than holding
back and being cautious

1
00:00:17,814 --> 00:00:18,974
Okay, help me out here.

2
00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:22,846
How does an archeology
professor get that good with a whip?

3
00:00:23,420 --> 00:00:27,015
Maybe he took a class at the adult
bookstore. That's how I learned.

4
00:00:27,591 --> 00:00:29,872
I can't believe you've never
seen Raiders of the Lost Ark.

5
00:00:30,093 --> 00:00:33,585
And I can't believe you've
never read Eat, Pray, Love.

6
00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:38,999
When she comes out with "Eat, Pray, Run
Away from a Giant Boulder", I'll read it.

7
00:00:40,236 --> 00:00:44,798
I don't care if Eat, Pray, Love,
changed your life, I'm not reading it.

8
00:00:45,976 --> 00:00:48,001
You know, I could
totally rock a hat like that.

9

1
00:00:04,184 --> 00:00:07,415
You know who's gotta be the
bravest person in the Marvel Universe?

2
00:00:07,588 --> 00:00:09,749
Whoever has to give
She-Hulk a bikini wax.

3
00:00:10,958 --> 00:00:12,220
You wanna talk brave?

4
00:00:12,392 --> 00:00:15,452
How about Captain America's
undocumented Mexican gardener?

5
00:00:16,897 --> 00:00:20,298
He's not braver than whoever
uses the bathroom after The Thing.

6
00:00:21,668 --> 00:00:23,795
As usual, you're all wrong.

7
00:00:24,037 --> 00:00:26,505
Bravest person in the
Marvel Universe is the doctor

8
00:00:26,673 --> 00:00:28,698
who gives Wolverine
his prostate exam.

9
00:00:30,244 --> 00:00:33,441