The Big Bang Theory - Fourth Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:06,168 --> 00:00:08,269
And now the
kung pao chicken.

2
00:00:08,270 --> 00:00:09,653
Ah, yeah.
Wow.

3
00:00:09,654 --> 00:00:11,072
Smooth.

4
00:00:11,073 --> 00:00:12,957
And finally,

5
00:00:12,958 --> 00:00:14,792
my moo shu pork.

6
00:00:16,595 --> 00:00:17,879
Whoo-hoo!

7
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:19,630
Oh, there you have
it, gentlemen.

8
00:00:19,631 --> 00:00:23,801
Our entire dinner
unpacked by robot.

9
00:00:23,802 --> 00:00:26,187
And it only took 28 minutes.

1
00:00:03,575 --> 00:00:04,842
Whatcha doin' there?

2
00:00:04,848 --> 00:00:06,783
Working on a new plan
to catch the roadrunner?

3
00:00:06,784 --> 00:00:12,221
The humorous implication being
that I am Wile E. Coyote?

4
00:00:12,222 --> 00:00:14,874
Yes.

5
00:00:14,875 --> 00:00:17,460
And this is a schematic
for a bird-trapping device

6
00:00:17,461 --> 00:00:21,414
that will ultimately backfire
and cause me physical injury?

7
00:00:21,415 --> 00:00:23,699
Yes.

8
00:00:28,555 --> 00:00:29,839
What I'm doing here

9
00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:32,725
is trying to determine
when I'm going to die.

1
00:00:02,650 --> 00:00:05,490
All right, I'm ready
for my next question.

2
00:00:05,490 --> 00:00:09,240
In a world where rhinoceroses
are domesticated pets,

3
00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:11,240
who wins the Second World War?

4
00:00:13,550 --> 00:00:15,450
Uganda.

5
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:16,450
Defend.

6
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:18,300
Kenya rises to power

7
00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:19,920
on the export of rhinoceroses.

8
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,120
A Central African
power block is formed,

9
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:24,220
colonizing North Africa and Europe.

10

1
00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:05,407
I'm telling you, if xenon emits
ultraviolet light,

2
00:00:05,407 --> 00:00:07,809
then those dark matter
discoveries must be wrong.

3
00:00:07,809 --> 00:00:09,810
Yes, well, if we lived
in a world

4
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,846
where slow-moving xenon
produced light,

5
00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:13,079
then you'd be correct.

6
00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:14,614
Also, pigs would fly,

7
00:00:14,614 --> 00:00:16,448
my derriere would produce
cotton candy,

8
00:00:16,448 --> 00:00:20,051
and The Phantom Menace
would be a timeless classic.

9
00:00:20,051 --> 00:00:21,252

1
00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:07,690
All I'm saying is, if they
took all the money they spent

2
00:00:07,690 --> 00:00:09,255
trying to make
a decent Hulk movie,

3
00:00:09,255 --> 00:00:12,720
they could probably
just make an actual Hulk.

4
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,670
That is apt and amusing.

5
00:00:15,287 --> 00:00:16,836
I think I shall share that

6
00:00:16,836 --> 00:00:18,534
with Amy Farrah Fowler.

7
00:00:18,534 --> 00:00:20,950
She'll appreciate
the witticism.

8
00:00:20,950 --> 00:00:22,333
Thank you.

9
00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:25,731
It'll also help improve her
initial impression of you.

1
00:00:06,706 --> 00:00:07,839
Problem?

2
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:10,241
This is the worst cobbler
I've ever eaten.

3
00:00:10,242 --> 00:00:14,412
It tastes like it's made of
actual ground-up shoemaker.

4
00:00:14,413 --> 00:00:17,983
Amusing. A play on the
two meanings of "cobbler. "

5
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:23,221
Hey, guys. Guess who
I found at LAX?

6
00:00:23,222 --> 00:00:24,556
My baby sister Priya.

7
00:00:24,557 --> 00:00:26,725
Excuse me, I object.

8
00:00:26,726 --> 00:00:28,927
You propose a guessing game,

9
00:00:28,928 --> 00:00:30,895
yet you don't give me
enough time to guess.

1
00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:03,530
No, seriously,
I think

2
00:00:03,630 --> 00:00:05,630
I've finally figured out
my problem with women.

3
00:00:05,730 --> 00:00:09,340
The capybara is the largest
member of the rodent family.

4
00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:11,770
What does that have to do
with me and women?

5
00:00:11,870 --> 00:00:13,270
Nothing.
It was a desperate attempt

6
00:00:13,370 --> 00:00:16,180
to introduce an alternate topic
of conversation.

7
00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:19,080
My problem is,
I don't project confidence.

8
00:00:19,450 --> 00:00:22,250
So I decided that
the next time I meet a woman

1
00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:18,005
Okay, help me out here.

2
00:00:18,006 --> 00:00:21,642
How does an archeology professor
get that good with a whip?

3
00:00:21,643 --> 00:00:24,211
Maybe he took a class
at the adult bookstore.

4
00:00:24,212 --> 00:00:25,846
That's how I learned.

5
00:00:25,847 --> 00:00:28,649
I can't believe you've never
seen Raiders of the Lost Ark.

6
00:00:28,650 --> 00:00:32,453
And I can't believe you've
never read Eat, Pray, Love.

7
00:00:32,454 --> 00:00:33,921
When she comes out with

8
00:00:33,922 --> 00:00:36,657
Eat, Pray, Run Away From A
Giant Boulder, I'll read it.

9
00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:41,662
I don't care if Eat, Pray, Love

1
00:00:03,050 --> 00:00:04,790
You know who's got to be the bravest person

2
00:00:04,910 --> 00:00:05,880
in the Marvel Universe?

3
00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:08,690
Whoever has to give She-Hulk a bikini wax.

4
00:00:09,950 --> 00:00:11,170
You want to talk brave,

5
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:14,490
how about Captain America's undocumented Mexican gardener?

6
00:00:16,060 --> 00:00:16,840
He's not braver than

7
00:00:16,970 --> 00:00:18,970
whoever uses the bathroom after the thing?

8
00:00:20,650 --> 00:00:22,610
As usual, you're all wrong.

9
00:00:22,740 --> 00:00:24,490
The bravest person in the Marvel Universe

10
00:00:24,610 --> 00:00:27,930
is the doctor who gives wolverine his prostate exam.

1
00:00:11,660 --> 00:00:13,670
Clarify something for me.

2
00:00:13,670 --> 00:00:14,700
Isn't the point

3
00:00:14,700 --> 00:00:16,770
of a communal meal

4
00:00:16,770 --> 00:00:19,400
the exchange of ideas
and opinions?

5
00:00:19,410 --> 00:00:22,140
An opportunity to consider
important issues of the day?

6
00:00:22,140 --> 00:00:23,480
It is.

7
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,340
You just kind of put
a damper on things

8
00:00:25,340 --> 00:00:26,980
when you said,
"The next person I see talking

9
00:00:26,980 --> 00:00:29,550
with food in their mouth
will be put to death."

1
00:00:08,270 --> 00:00:09,590
Water Demon.

2
00:00:11,410 --> 00:00:12,900
Ice Dragon.

3
00:00:13,770 --> 00:00:17,070
Lesser Warlord
of Ka'a.

4
00:00:17,070 --> 00:00:20,100
Not so fast.

5
00:00:20,110 --> 00:00:21,870
Infinite Sheldon.

6
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,010
Infinite Sheldon?

7
00:00:25,010 --> 00:00:27,710
Yes, Infinite Sheldon
defeats all other cards

8
00:00:27,710 --> 00:00:30,300
and does not violate the
rule against homemade cards

9
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:32,220
because I made
it at work.

1
00:00:03,340 --> 00:00:04,820
Ma, Ma, calm down.

2
00:00:05,010 --> 00:00:05,780
Listen to me.

3
00:00:05,850 --> 00:00:07,610
I know it says click
with the mouse,

4
00:00:07,620 --> 00:00:10,280
but on a laptop,
the trackpad is the mouse.

5
00:00:10,290 --> 00:00:12,820
Now, put your finger on it.

6
00:00:12,820 --> 00:00:15,460
Doesn't matter which finger.

7
00:00:15,460 --> 00:00:17,490
Good choice.

8
00:00:17,490 --> 00:00:21,400
Now move it down
to your e-mail icon.

9
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,260
Yeah, the little envelope.

10

1
00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:04,540
Hey. So you guys ready
to order?

2
00:00:04,540 --> 00:00:07,940
Since we come in
every Tuesday night at 6:00

3
00:00:07,940 --> 00:00:11,710
and order the same exact thing,
and it's now 6:08,

4
00:00:11,710 --> 00:00:14,110
I believe your question
not only answers itself

5
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,220
but also stands alongside
such other nonsensical queries

6
00:00:17,220 --> 00:00:22,260
as "Who let the dogs out?"
and, uh, "How are they hanging""

7
00:00:22,260 --> 00:00:24,560
Okay.

8
00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:27,260
So, the usual, with extra spit
on Sheldon's hamburger.

9

1
00:00:02,586 --> 00:00:03,555
Good evening.

2
00:00:03,584 --> 00:00:06,590
I'm your guest lecturer,
Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

3
00:00:11,919 --> 00:00:15,535
I was expecting applause,

4
00:00:15,559 --> 00:00:19,348
but I suppose stunned silence
is equally appropriate.

5
00:00:19,481 --> 00:00:21,995
I agreed to speak
to you this evening,

6
00:00:22,019 --> 00:00:25,168
because I was told that you're
the best and the brightest

7
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,408
of this university's
doctoral candidates.

8
00:00:27,432 --> 00:00:29,394
Hmm. Of course,
that's like saying

9
00:00:29,418 --> 00:00:32,724

1
00:00:02,933 --> 00:00:04,599
Here's what I wonder
about zombies.

2
00:00:06,592 --> 00:00:09,495
What happens if they can't get
any human flesh to eat?

3
00:00:09,495 --> 00:00:12,698
They can't starve to death--
they're already dead.

4
00:00:12,698 --> 00:00:15,601
You take this one.
I spent an hour last night on

5
00:00:15,601 --> 00:00:17,102
"How do vampires shave

6
00:00:17,102 --> 00:00:19,204
when they can't see
themselves in the mirror"?

7
00:00:20,373 --> 00:00:22,007
Well-groomed vampires
meet in pairs

8
00:00:22,007 --> 00:00:24,142
and shave each other--
case closed.

9

1
00:00:01,210 --> 00:00:02,890
Previously on
The Big Bang Theory:

2
00:00:03,300 --> 00:00:05,750
Guess who I found at LAX.
My baby sister Priya.

3
00:00:05,750 --> 00:00:07,900
It's really nice
to see you again, Leonard.

4
00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:09,770
Yeah, it's good
to see you, too.

5
00:00:09,770 --> 00:00:10,840
Here you go.

6
00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:12,000
Thanks.

7
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,050
You slept with
my sister?!

8
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,310
Yeah.

9
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:20,440
This is a terrible

1
00:00:02,330 --> 00:00:04,600
Buona sera, Luigi's Pizza.

2
00:00:05,700 --> 00:00:06,970
Buona sera.

3
00:00:06,970 --> 00:00:09,340
It means good evening in Italian.

4
00:00:10,060 --> 00:00:12,610
May I say, having to explain that to you calls into question

5
00:00:12,610 --> 00:00:14,960
the authenticity of your ristorante?

6
00:00:16,590 --> 00:00:17,920
Okay, I'm out of here.

7
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,350
Un momento.

8
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:20,970
Oh, for heaven's sake.

9
00:00:20,970 --> 00:00:22,770
Now you're being deliberately stupid.

10
00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:25,070
Where are you going?

1
00:00:04,093 --> 00:00:05,085
Morning.

2
00:00:05,663 --> 00:00:06,863
Morning.

3
00:00:07,823 --> 00:00:09,858
- Sleep okay?
- Um uh.  Great!

4
00:00:12,283 --> 00:00:13,856
Hey, can I ask you something?

5
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,081
Sure.

6
00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:18,041
Last night, me wanting to try
that stuff out of the Kama Sutra.

7
00:00:18,432 --> 00:00:21,011
Was that fun for you
or kinda racially insensitive?

8
00:00:22,179 --> 00:00:24,803
Yes. Just because you're in bed
with an India woman

9
00:00:24,828 --> 00:00:26,276
you think that gives you permission

1
00:00:03,192 --> 00:00:07,512
SHELDON: Why hast thou forsaken me,
O deity whose existence I doubt?

2
00:00:08,847 --> 00:00:11,849
Here. Breathe
into this bag.

3
00:00:13,135 --> 00:00:14,335
What's going on?

4
00:00:14,336 --> 00:00:17,005
They stole everything, Leonard!

5
00:00:17,006 --> 00:00:18,439
Everything.

6
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:20,191
Are you the roommate?

7
00:00:20,192 --> 00:00:22,276
Yeah, Leonard Hofstadter.
What happened?

8
00:00:22,277 --> 00:00:24,512
Your friend here called 911
to report a robbery.

9
00:00:24,513 --> 00:00:26,447
Oh, my God, what did they get?

1
00:00:02,719 --> 00:00:06,989
My new book The Hidden Reality
takes on a grand question:

2
00:00:06,991 --> 00:00:09,959
Is our universe
the only universe?

3
00:00:09,961 --> 00:00:13,195
You see, there's a growing
belief among scientists like me

4
00:00:13,197 --> 00:00:16,766
that ours may only be one
among many universes

5
00:00:16,768 --> 00:00:18,834
populating a gigantic cosmos.

6
00:00:18,836 --> 00:00:21,771
In The Hidden Reality,
I explore this possibility

7
00:00:21,773 --> 00:00:24,707
without presuming any knowledge
of mathematics or physics

8
00:00:24,709 --> 00:00:25,908
on the part of the reader.

9
00:00:25,910 --> 00:00:29,211

1
00:00:03,984 --> 00:00:05,885
Leonard, are you in the shower?

2
00:00:05,886 --> 00:00:09,022
I can't hear you!
I'm in the shower!

3
00:00:09,023 --> 00:00:11,157
I asked if you
were in the shower,

4
00:00:11,158 --> 00:00:13,126
but that's moot now!

5
00:00:13,127 --> 00:00:14,294
What?

6
00:00:14,295 --> 00:00:19,132
Moot! Rendered unimportant
by recent events!

7
00:00:19,133 --> 00:00:21,684
I can't hear you!
I'm in the shower!

8
00:00:21,685 --> 00:00:23,503
I have to skip
the chitchat.

9
00:00:23,504 --> 00:00:24,771
Emergency.

1
00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:08,399
I must say, Penny,
this is great fun.

2
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:09,934
Glad you're
enjoying yourself.

3
00:00:09,935 --> 00:00:12,603
Until I met you and Bernadette,
my trips to the bathroom

4
00:00:12,604 --> 00:00:15,406
had been entirely focused
on elimination.

5
00:00:15,407 --> 00:00:18,843
Now they have a delightful
social aspect.

6
00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:20,578
Amy, you must've been
in the bathroom

7
00:00:20,579 --> 00:00:21,946
with other women before.

8
00:00:21,947 --> 00:00:25,449
Of course I have.

9
00:00:25,450 --> 00:00:27,635

1
00:00:03,283 --> 00:00:06,226
Hey, do me a favor
and take table seven.

2
00:00:06,244 --> 00:00:08,519
You mean the one
with my 118-pound

3
00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:10,123
rock-hard stud of a fiancé

4
00:00:10,124 --> 00:00:13,436
who's prone to canker
sores and pinkeye?

5
00:00:13,719 --> 00:00:16,625
Nah, I prefer to look at it as
the one with my ex-boyfriend

6
00:00:16,626 --> 00:00:19,301
and his gorgeous, successful
and sophisticated girlfriend,

7
00:00:19,302 --> 00:00:21,274
who makes me feel like
a toothless Okie.

8
00:00:23,581 --> 00:00:25,922
Do you want me to spill
hot soup on her?

9

1
00:00:02,833 --> 00:00:04,100
Hey, you guys ready to order?

2
00:00:04,136 --> 00:00:05,904
Uh, sure.
Okay, Priya?

3
00:00:06,002 --> 00:00:07,002
Uh, I'll have
the shepherd's pie.

4
00:00:07,003 --> 00:00:08,237
You want to split
that with me?

5
00:00:08,238 --> 00:00:10,038
Oh, no, no, no,
he doesn't.

6
00:00:10,039 --> 00:00:11,073
Why not?

7
00:00:11,074 --> 00:00:13,242
Well, you have milk in
the taters,

8
00:00:13,243 --> 00:00:15,077
milk in the gravy,
parmesan crust.

9
00:00:15,078 --> 00:00:16,812