Taxi - Complete Series English Subtitles
Series Info:
Overview:
The staff of a New York City taxicab company go about their job while they dream of greater things.
Release Name:
Taxi.1978.Complete.S01-S05.DVDrip
Release Info:
Machine cleaned, no HI. Fixed s3-5 caps of Latka November 08, 2022
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1 00:01:04,334 --> 00:01:08,634 Hey, belson, you got cab 2452! 2 00:01:08,667 --> 00:01:11,234 Tony, get out of cab 2452. 3 00:01:11,267 --> 00:01:12,534 We need it. 4 00:01:12,567 --> 00:01:15,467 Harry! 8622... wash it! 5 00:01:15,501 --> 00:01:17,200 It's filthy! 6 00:01:17,234 --> 00:01:19,767 Hey, Tony, you get creamed 7 00:01:19,801 --> 00:01:21,567 in your fight last night? 8 00:01:21,601 --> 00:01:22,601 What's it like 9 00:01:22,634 --> 00:01:25,634 having a cauliflower back? 10 00:01:25,667 --> 00:01:27,434 I didn't get creamed.
1 00:00:54,434 --> 00:00:57,601 Okay, luche, you got 212. 2 00:00:57,634 --> 00:01:01,100 Perleman, you got cab 814. 3 00:01:01,133 --> 00:01:02,367 Susman, you got 4 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,234 nine fifty-one. 5 00:01:04,267 --> 00:01:09,267 And zelinko, you got cab 636, and wash it! 6 00:01:09,300 --> 00:01:10,701 Come on. Come on. 7 00:01:10,734 --> 00:01:12,968 Let's get this garage moving here. 8 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,267 Latka. 9 00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:19,734 It hurts me to see you not working. 10
1 00:01:13,033 --> 00:01:14,501 Everybody sing. 2 00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:17,767 Hey, Bobby... 3 00:01:17,801 --> 00:01:20,000 Hey. How come you look so happy? 4 00:01:20,033 --> 00:01:22,310 You know, this really strange thing happened to me last night. 5 00:01:22,334 --> 00:01:24,200 I called you up to see if you wanted 6 00:01:24,234 --> 00:01:25,934 to go out for a beer or something 7 00:01:25,968 --> 00:01:27,267 and you weren't home. Right. 8 00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:30,267 I talked to this girl on your answering service... 9 00:01:30,300 --> 00:01:31,567 Named Angela.
1 00:00:59,701 --> 00:01:01,767 Yo! Cab! 2 00:01:06,701 --> 00:01:09,601 Taxi! 3 00:01:32,901 --> 00:01:35,834 Where to? 4 00:01:37,334 --> 00:01:39,267 51st street, please. 5 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,033 Oh, right. 6 00:01:45,567 --> 00:01:48,167 Do you mind the dog being in the cab, do you? 7 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,133 No. He doesn't mind me being in it, does he? 8 00:01:51,167 --> 00:01:52,667 Don't worry about him. 9 00:01:52,701 --> 00:01:54,267 He's very well trained. 10 00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:55,577
1 00:01:13,267 --> 00:01:16,267 It's okay, I guess. 2 00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:17,934 Why am I being modest? 3 00:01:17,968 --> 00:01:19,267 I'm alone. 4 00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:21,200 It's perfect. 5 00:01:24,234 --> 00:01:25,767 Metropolitan museum. 6 00:01:25,801 --> 00:01:27,267 I bet you're wondering 7 00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:29,901 how you got a cab so fast in this rain. 8 00:01:29,934 --> 00:01:32,000 Well, it's because I've been sitting here admiring 9 00:01:32,033 --> 00:01:33,367 this window display. 10 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,100
1 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,968 So you think you can chug-a-lug, huh? 2 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,367 Uh-huh. 3 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,334 Okay, come on. 4 00:01:11,634 --> 00:01:13,577 And he says, "if I could do it in my living room", 5 00:01:13,601 --> 00:01:15,634 I wouldn't have to do it in the back of your cab." 6 00:01:18,467 --> 00:01:22,000 Hey, Tony, this guy wants to chug-a-lug against you. 7 00:01:22,033 --> 00:01:24,033 Oh, yeah? What's the bet? 8 00:01:24,067 --> 00:01:25,133 Fifty. 9 00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:26,200 Fifty dollars?!
1 00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:56,934 Like I do in my living room. 2 00:00:56,968 --> 00:00:58,267 Oh. 3 00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:04,534 Hey, Louie. 4 00:01:04,567 --> 00:01:06,868 What table you sitting at? 5 00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:08,033 This one. 6 00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:09,567 Thanks for the tip. 7 00:01:11,734 --> 00:01:14,067 John, you got change for a dollar? 8 00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:15,801 Sure. 9 00:01:21,901 --> 00:01:23,634 You gave me a dollar ten. 10 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:26,234 Oh, I'm sorry. Too late.
1 00:00:58,667 --> 00:00:59,801 Excuse me. 2 00:00:59,834 --> 00:01:02,567 We're looking for Louie de palma. 3 00:01:02,601 --> 00:01:05,033 Well, we got one, but ours is in the men's room. 4 00:01:05,067 --> 00:01:06,434 Can I help you? 5 00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:08,934 Yeah. We're with the immigration department. 6 00:01:08,968 --> 00:01:10,200 Oh? 7 00:01:10,234 --> 00:01:11,767 We're trying to find a Latka gravas. 8 00:01:11,801 --> 00:01:13,501 A Latka gravas? 9 00:01:13,534 --> 00:01:17,200 Do you mind if I see your identification?
1 00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:54,868 Let's go, rieger. 2 00:00:54,934 --> 00:00:57,100 Heave the old tush this way. 3 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,701 Where's your friend burns? 4 00:01:04,767 --> 00:01:06,910 John? Out somewhere. I don't know. Why? Is it important? 5 00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:09,100 I want to give him a kiss. 6 00:01:09,167 --> 00:01:10,267 Oh. 7 00:01:10,334 --> 00:01:12,601 I got a driver waiting for his cab 8 00:01:12,667 --> 00:01:14,200 who makes us a profit. 9 00:01:14,267 --> 00:01:15,587 Would you give him a break, Louie? 10
1 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,367 Hi, Tony. 2 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:09,534 Hi, Latka. 3 00:01:09,567 --> 00:01:11,534 How you doing? 4 00:01:11,567 --> 00:01:13,801 Oh... 5 00:01:13,834 --> 00:01:16,200 Well, I got a little problem. 6 00:01:16,234 --> 00:01:18,200 Oh... 7 00:01:21,601 --> 00:01:23,868 Well, there's this girl... 8 00:01:27,234 --> 00:01:29,934 Well, I met her a couple of weeks ago. 9 00:01:29,968 --> 00:01:31,701 She's a cab driver, too. 10 00:01:31,734 --> 00:01:33,434 Works out of the Bronx.
1 00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:10,936 Hey, you know, if we don't get out of here soon, 2 00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,503 we're gonna miss the first race. 3 00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:13,605 Don't worry about it. 4 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,741 Hey, you hear anything from John yet? 5 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:17,843 What am I, an information booth? 6 00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:19,077 I was just asking. 7 00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,012 I mean, he should have been in by now. 8 00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:22,598 He should have been in? 9 00:01:22,633 --> 00:01:24,166 I should have been rich. 10
1 00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:01,143 A much too fast recap of last week's taxi. 2 00:01:01,211 --> 00:01:02,894 Louie got this phone call. 3 00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,663 John had wrecked cab 804. 4 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,097 804? 5 00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:08,450 I was in 804 the night I got held up. 6 00:01:08,518 --> 00:01:10,018 Remember when I started carrying 7 00:01:10,087 --> 00:01:11,786 that big gun around for protection? 8 00:01:11,855 --> 00:01:14,122 Just want the fare money, son. No games. 9 00:01:14,191 --> 00:01:15,824 Okay, drop it!
1 00:01:07,884 --> 00:01:10,385 So, what are you and Suzanne doing for Christmas, John? 2 00:01:10,421 --> 00:01:12,521 Oh, her parents are having a party. 3 00:01:12,556 --> 00:01:13,655 How about you? 4 00:01:13,690 --> 00:01:14,990 Oh, I don't know. 5 00:01:15,025 --> 00:01:16,825 Last year, I went to a sit-down dinner 6 00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:17,826 for 80 people. 7 00:01:17,861 --> 00:01:19,961 80 people. Wow! 8 00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:22,564 Yeah, they got this really long counter 9 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:23,632 at woolworth's.
1 00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:02,728 Louie, this is rieger in 264. 2 00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:06,515 Just dropped off a fare from the airport at 79th and park. 3 00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:07,815 Got it. 4 00:01:07,851 --> 00:01:11,386 By the way, rieger, better be on the lookout. 5 00:01:11,422 --> 00:01:12,771 It's a full moon. 6 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,806 You know what that means. 7 00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:18,410 Every creep in this city will be out tonight. 8 00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:22,965 Well, be sure to wear a jacket, Louie, it's getting chilly. 9 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:27,135 You think you're a real jan Murray, don't you, rieger?
1 00:01:04,214 --> 00:01:05,313 Louie. 2 00:01:05,348 --> 00:01:06,314 Huh? 3 00:01:06,349 --> 00:01:07,482 Louie. 4 00:01:07,517 --> 00:01:11,853 Listen, I have a bad cavity in my tooth. 5 00:01:11,889 --> 00:01:16,892 So is it okay if I leave early and go to the dentist? 6 00:01:19,396 --> 00:01:21,697 The dentist. Yeah. 7 00:01:21,732 --> 00:01:24,066 That reminds me of a story I heard yesterday. 8 00:01:24,101 --> 00:01:25,101 Yeah? 9 00:01:25,135 --> 00:01:27,552 This guy goes into the dentist's office
1 00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:01,226 What? 2 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:02,861 Mr. De palma, my name's goodwin. 3 00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:04,496 I'm starting today. 4 00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:05,513 Oh, yeah? 5 00:01:05,548 --> 00:01:07,081 Okay, Mr. Goodwin, 6 00:01:07,117 --> 00:01:09,851 let me give you a couple of tips here. 7 00:01:09,886 --> 00:01:13,021 You'll get cab 607 when it's ready. 8 00:01:13,056 --> 00:01:14,722 All right? Now, you listen to me. 9 00:01:14,758 --> 00:01:16,858 We can get along very nicely 10
1 00:00:52,634 --> 00:00:54,300 Taxi! 2 00:00:56,601 --> 00:00:58,634 Taxi! 3 00:01:09,067 --> 00:01:12,367 Take this cab to Cuba. 4 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,200 Did you hear that? 5 00:01:23,234 --> 00:01:26,801 I said Cuba, like... like a hijack. 6 00:01:28,701 --> 00:01:31,501 God, life. I love it! 7 00:01:32,934 --> 00:01:34,868 Don't you love it? 8 00:01:34,901 --> 00:01:37,067 Don't you love life, driver? 9 00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:39,267 No, we're just good friends. 10 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:40,534 Where to?
1 00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:54,185 All right now, we got some cabs to get out here. 2 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:57,322 Ryan... 1620. 3 00:00:57,357 --> 00:01:00,575 Arnie... 214. 4 00:01:00,610 --> 00:01:02,844 Hey, cha-cha, get out of that cab. 5 00:01:02,879 --> 00:01:04,396 Cavalucci... 916. 6 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:08,199 Wheeler... 1136. 7 00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:09,200 Uh, skip Bobby. 8 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,335 He isn't in yet. 9 00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:11,686 He isn't in yet? 10 00:01:11,721 --> 00:01:13,521
1 00:00:59,843 --> 00:01:02,510 Latka, nice threads. 2 00:01:02,545 --> 00:01:05,346 Oh? Thank you very much. 3 00:01:05,382 --> 00:01:06,815 You like? 4 00:01:06,850 --> 00:01:08,416 You can keep. 5 00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:12,904 Hey, Latka, how come you're so dressed up? 6 00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:16,108 Well, because my mother is visiting today 7 00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:17,559 from the old country. 8 00:01:17,594 --> 00:01:18,743 Oh! Hey! Oh! Hey! 9 00:01:18,778 --> 00:01:20,445 You must really be excited. 10 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,480
1 00:00:52,336 --> 00:00:56,221 Resnick, you got cab 529. 2 00:00:56,257 --> 00:01:00,258 Capasso... cab 111. 3 00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:01,338 Come on, let's get out of here 4 00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:02,639 and get some breakfast. I'm hungry. 5 00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:03,762 Good idea. Let's go. 6 00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:05,330 Hey, listen, Louie, when Alex comes in 7 00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,032 would you just tell him we're at Mario's? 8 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,184 He won't be in for a while. 9 00:01:09,219 --> 00:01:11,419 Hamill, 120. 10
1 00:00:59,876 --> 00:01:01,343 Hi, Louie. 2 00:01:01,378 --> 00:01:02,577 I'm back. 3 00:01:02,613 --> 00:01:03,561 Back from what? 4 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:06,164 I took a week off to study for my finals. 5 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,533 You didn't even notice I wasn't here? 6 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:09,917 I don't even notice you now. 7 00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:17,159 Thanks. It's nice to be back. 8 00:01:17,194 --> 00:01:18,359 Hi, everybody. 9 00:01:18,395 --> 00:01:19,928 I'm back from my finals. 10 00:01:19,963 --> 00:01:21,280
1 00:01:09,102 --> 00:01:11,903 Hey, Lou, you'll never believe what happened to me. 2 00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:12,904 What's that? 3 00:01:12,939 --> 00:01:14,639 I pick up this fare at the airport, right? 4 00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:16,742 Some foreign guy. So he tells me, 5 00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:19,143 "take me to the Plaza hotel," which I do. 6 00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,780 When I get there, there's $17 on the meter. 7 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:24,583 The guy takes out a hundred-dollar bill 8 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:27,252 and asks me, "is this enough?" 9 00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:29,755
1 00:01:21,834 --> 00:01:23,834 Zena's here to fill the candy machine. 2 00:01:23,868 --> 00:01:25,501 Hi, gang! 3 00:01:25,534 --> 00:01:27,000 I got it, man! I'm in! 4 00:01:28,167 --> 00:01:29,567 I got here for the first time. 5 00:01:29,601 --> 00:01:32,000 Can you believe this? 6 00:01:32,033 --> 00:01:34,801 A bunch of adults fighting over a candy bar. 7 00:01:34,834 --> 00:01:37,234 Hold that thought, Bobby, she's brought malted balls. 8 00:01:37,267 --> 00:01:38,400 Oh, yeah? 9 00:01:38,434 --> 00:01:39,801 Bobby, seniority, seniority... 10
1 00:01:17,534 --> 00:01:19,276 All right, all right, just stay where you are. 2 00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:21,934 I'll send somebody for you. 3 00:01:21,968 --> 00:01:24,400 Dummy! 4 00:01:24,434 --> 00:01:26,033 Jeff... Yeah. 5 00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:28,501 Go to 45th and Lexington and pick up giambalvo. 6 00:01:28,534 --> 00:01:29,534 Okay. 7 00:01:32,434 --> 00:01:33,434 Latka! 8 00:01:35,834 --> 00:01:37,567 What's the big idea sending giambalvo out 9 00:01:37,601 --> 00:01:39,300 with a broken gas Gauge? 10
1 00:01:20,334 --> 00:01:21,767 Hey... 2 00:01:22,801 --> 00:01:24,534 Drinks for everybody. 3 00:01:24,567 --> 00:01:26,033 Hey! Hey! Hey! 4 00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:27,534 In our little group. 5 00:01:27,567 --> 00:01:28,434 Tony won tonight? 6 00:01:28,467 --> 00:01:29,734 Does this look like 7 00:01:29,767 --> 00:01:31,334 the face of a loser? 8 00:01:31,367 --> 00:01:33,434 Well, in that case, the first pitcher's on me. 9 00:01:33,467 --> 00:01:36,400 Hey, thanks, Tom. Oh, that's great. 10 00:01:36,434 --> 00:01:38,934
1 00:01:33,734 --> 00:01:37,434 Louie, I finished, eh, cleaning up the cab. 2 00:01:37,467 --> 00:01:39,334 Good boy, Latka. 3 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,901 Time to split up the old Booty. 4 00:01:41,934 --> 00:01:42,934 Yeah. 5 00:01:42,968 --> 00:01:45,234 How much money did you get today? 6 00:01:45,267 --> 00:01:46,334 Eh, not too much. 7 00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:51,300 Two pennies, a dime and a Canadian quarter? 8 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,133 Yup, that's right. 9 00:01:54,167 --> 00:01:55,877 You mean to tell me that that's all the money
1 00:01:20,133 --> 00:01:21,300 Here you go, Louie. 2 00:01:21,334 --> 00:01:22,400 I got any messages? 3 00:01:22,434 --> 00:01:23,434 Yeah, right here. 4 00:01:23,467 --> 00:01:25,133 Oh, good. Here's your buck. 5 00:01:26,567 --> 00:01:27,901 Here you go. 6 00:01:29,968 --> 00:01:32,767 Oh, boy. Terrific. 7 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:33,968 Bad news? 8 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,467 I got a commercial. 9 00:01:35,501 --> 00:01:37,501 Uh, Bob, forgive my ignorance, 10 00:01:37,534 --> 00:01:39,167 but, uh, I mean, I realize
1 00:01:21,901 --> 00:01:24,234 Come on, Alex, it'll be fun. 2 00:01:24,267 --> 00:01:25,300 No, no, no, Tony, 3 00:01:25,334 --> 00:01:27,343 I don't want to play softball against the day shift. 4 00:01:27,367 --> 00:01:28,976 They got a lot of great guys on that team. 5 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,267 They're gonna kill us. 6 00:01:30,300 --> 00:01:33,834 Alex, they put on their pants one leg at a time just like us. 7 00:01:33,868 --> 00:01:36,934 Well, if they want to have pants-putting-on contest, I'm in. 8 00:01:36,968 --> 00:01:39,200 Come on, Alex, it'll be fun. 9 00:01:39,234 --> 00:01:40,577 Please? Please, please, please. No.
1 00:01:20,601 --> 00:01:22,300 Oh... 2 00:01:22,334 --> 00:01:23,734 What's wrong? 3 00:01:23,767 --> 00:01:25,267 Ah, beer's too cold. 4 00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:27,267 It's no colder than usual. 5 00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:29,100 I don't know, maybe I got a bad tooth. 6 00:01:29,133 --> 00:01:31,801 Alex, uh, a bad tooth isn't a maybe thing. 7 00:01:31,834 --> 00:01:32,801 I got a bad tooth. 8 00:01:32,834 --> 00:01:33,801 Yeah. 9 00:01:33,834 --> 00:01:34,968 It's all right, though. 10 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,701
1 00:01:21,234 --> 00:01:23,400 Okay, listen up here! 2 00:01:23,434 --> 00:01:24,901 Listen up, everybody. 3 00:01:24,934 --> 00:01:27,767 I'm upstairs getting chewed out by the boss 4 00:01:27,801 --> 00:01:29,901 because of your lousy bookings. 5 00:01:29,934 --> 00:01:32,400 Now, I don't want to embarrass anybody 6 00:01:32,434 --> 00:01:35,734 but nardo, $41. 7 00:01:35,767 --> 00:01:36,801 Hmm? 8 00:01:36,834 --> 00:01:39,400 Banta, $52. 9 00:01:39,434 --> 00:01:40,601 When I was a driver, 10 00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:43,167
1 00:01:20,334 --> 00:01:21,534 Hey, guys. 2 00:01:21,567 --> 00:01:23,868 You're never gonna believe who I just had as a fare. 3 00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:25,934 Who? Neil Armstrong. 4 00:01:25,968 --> 00:01:28,534 Oh, yeah? Neil Armstrong! 5 00:01:28,567 --> 00:01:30,734 Imagine, the first guy who ever walked on the moon 6 00:01:30,767 --> 00:01:31,901 sitting in my cab. 7 00:01:31,934 --> 00:01:32,901 Wow! I'm really impressed. 8 00:01:32,934 --> 00:01:33,944 Hey, that's a great fare, Tony. 9 00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,534 Where did you take him? 10 00:01:35,567 --> 00:01:37,367
1 00:01:20,501 --> 00:01:22,467 Bobby, I... Really appreciate 2 00:01:22,534 --> 00:01:24,934 you taking the time to console me. 3 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,000 Oh, that's okay, that's okay. 4 00:01:27,067 --> 00:01:30,300 Must be a real drag for you. 5 00:01:30,367 --> 00:01:31,901 Now, come on, you got to look 6 00:01:31,968 --> 00:01:33,834 on the bright side of things, huh? 7 00:01:33,901 --> 00:01:35,434 Now, look at me. 8 00:01:35,501 --> 00:01:38,300 I was dropped from the same stupid soap opera, right? 9 00:01:38,367 --> 00:01:40,100 You don't see me crying, do you? 10
1 00:01:27,634 --> 00:01:30,267 What's Latka listening to? 2 00:01:30,300 --> 00:01:31,734 There's a New York radio station 3 00:01:31,767 --> 00:01:33,367 that broadcasts in Latka's language 4 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:34,868 every day for a couple of hours. 5 00:01:34,901 --> 00:01:37,100 Oh, it must be nice to keep in touch with home. 6 00:01:37,133 --> 00:01:38,100 Bet he loves it. 7 00:01:38,133 --> 00:01:39,767 Hey, Latka? 8 00:01:39,801 --> 00:01:41,167 What? 9 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,167 What is that... the news? 10 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,834
1 00:01:26,901 --> 00:01:28,200 Who is it? 2 00:01:28,267 --> 00:01:29,868 Paint crew 3 00:01:29,934 --> 00:01:31,534 reporting for work, ma'am. 4 00:01:31,601 --> 00:01:33,234 Come on in. 5 00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:35,734 Hey! 6 00:01:35,801 --> 00:01:37,434 You look great. 7 00:01:37,501 --> 00:01:38,667 Hi, Elaine, how you doing? 8 00:01:38,734 --> 00:01:41,767 Oh, really, thanks, guys. 9 00:01:41,834 --> 00:01:43,901 Thanks for offering to help. 10 00:01:43,968 --> 00:01:45,910 Hey, Elaine, what do you want to paint the apartment for?
1 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:25,133 Well, looks like I'm going to fight rocky sinicori again. 2 00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:26,767 Oh, yeah, I remember him. 3 00:01:26,801 --> 00:01:28,334 Yeah, he gave me a good fight. 4 00:01:28,367 --> 00:01:30,000 I guess he deserves another shot. 5 00:01:30,033 --> 00:01:31,000 What, are you crazy? 6 00:01:31,033 --> 00:01:32,934 He knocked you out in the second round. 7 00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,467 Yeah, but now he's going around shooting off his mouth, 8 00:01:35,501 --> 00:01:36,767 saying he can do it in one. 9 00:01:36,801 --> 00:01:38,267 He says he had walking pneumonia
1 00:01:19,901 --> 00:01:22,934 Who did you bet on in the fourth race? 2 00:01:22,968 --> 00:01:23,934 That stiff... 3 00:01:23,968 --> 00:01:26,000 Hey, where have you guys been? 4 00:01:26,033 --> 00:01:27,701 Aw, you don't want to know, Elaine. 5 00:01:27,734 --> 00:01:29,534 This is kind of a sore point with you, 6 00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:31,200 and I think the less said about it 7 00:01:31,234 --> 00:01:32,534 in front of you, the better. 8 00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:34,801 Last time we went to the track, you went nuts. 9 00:01:34,834 --> 00:01:35,801 I told her.
1 00:01:33,667 --> 00:01:36,133 I'm looking for Tony banta... 2 00:01:36,167 --> 00:01:38,133 The boxer. 3 00:01:38,167 --> 00:01:40,400 Would you settle for Tony banta... 4 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,734 The bum? 5 00:01:41,767 --> 00:01:43,067 He's over there. 6 00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:44,234 Thanks. 7 00:01:44,267 --> 00:01:45,734 Hey, wait, wait, wait. 8 00:01:45,767 --> 00:01:47,267 You coming into my garage, 9 00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:49,300 you gonna leave me a dollar deposit. 10 00:01:51,267 --> 00:01:52,501
1 00:01:21,300 --> 00:01:24,234 Hey, guys, my play got reviewed last night. 2 00:01:24,267 --> 00:01:25,234 Yeah? 3 00:01:25,267 --> 00:01:27,167 Take a look at this. It's terrific. 4 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:28,834 All those weeks of hard work... 5 00:01:28,868 --> 00:01:30,367 They finally paid off. 6 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:31,767 Well, what's it say? 7 00:01:31,801 --> 00:01:34,167 "The 88th street actors' workshop revival 8 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:35,601 "of Arthur Miller's timeless classic 9 00:01:35,634 --> 00:01:38,567 death of a salesman is a dog."
1 00:01:27,968 --> 00:01:29,467 Excuse me. 2 00:01:29,501 --> 00:01:32,901 I'm here to see Mr. MacKenzie about the secretarial position. 3 00:01:32,934 --> 00:01:34,868 Yes, ma'am. 4 00:01:34,901 --> 00:01:37,634 If you'll just wait over here with the other contestants 5 00:01:37,667 --> 00:01:38,976 we'll get to you as soon as we can. 6 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,067 Thank you. 7 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:43,100 Oh, uh... by the way, I hope you get the job. 8 00:01:43,133 --> 00:01:44,801 You're my favorite. 9 00:01:44,834 --> 00:01:46,868 Oh...
1 00:01:33,767 --> 00:01:38,834 634 east 62nd street, please. 2 00:01:38,868 --> 00:01:41,000 I can't believe it. 3 00:01:41,033 --> 00:01:42,367 Excuse me? 4 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,300 You're Nora chandless. 5 00:01:44,334 --> 00:01:46,133 Do I know you? 6 00:01:46,167 --> 00:01:47,467 Bobby Wheeler. 7 00:01:47,501 --> 00:01:48,801 I'm an actor. 8 00:01:48,834 --> 00:01:50,510 Do you know where I can find a cab driver, Mr. Wheeler? 9 00:01:50,534 --> 00:01:51,968 I have an appointment to make. 10 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,434 Very good. I'm sorry.
1 00:01:22,634 --> 00:01:24,076 All right, where's the mechanic on duty? 2 00:01:24,100 --> 00:01:25,067 I'm going to kill him. 3 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:26,109 What are you talking about? 4 00:01:26,133 --> 00:01:27,410 I don't want to talk... I got to hit. 5 00:01:27,434 --> 00:01:28,577 Hey, hey, hey. Tony, Tony, Tony, 6 00:01:28,601 --> 00:01:29,734 take it easy, take it easy. 7 00:01:29,767 --> 00:01:30,944 Nobody's going to hit anybody. 8 00:01:30,968 --> 00:01:33,067 Now just sit down and tell us about it calmly. 9 00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:34,234 All right, Alex. Yeah. 10
1 00:01:11,133 --> 00:01:13,100 Last week on taxi: 2 00:01:13,133 --> 00:01:14,801 Yeah, you might say that, Louie. 3 00:01:14,834 --> 00:01:17,567 You know, the cabs, they been falling apart lately, 4 00:01:17,601 --> 00:01:20,067 and Tony's brakes... They just went out on him. 5 00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:22,410 I mean, every time we go out of here, our lives are in danger, 6 00:01:22,434 --> 00:01:24,510 and we think it's about time you do something about it. 7 00:01:24,534 --> 00:01:26,467 Go blow-dry your face. 8 00:01:26,501 --> 00:01:28,000 What are you...? 9 00:01:28,033 --> 00:01:29,033 Hey! Hey!
1 00:01:23,701 --> 00:01:25,067 Hey, uh, you guys mind 2 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:26,200 if I sit with you? 3 00:01:26,234 --> 00:01:27,801 You know the rules, Louie. 4 00:01:27,834 --> 00:01:28,868 You're not allowed 5 00:01:28,901 --> 00:01:30,167 to drink with us. Yeah. 6 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:32,100 I got a little problem I'd like to talk over, 7 00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:33,767 but if that's the way you feel. 8 00:01:33,801 --> 00:01:35,109 Hey, Louie, you got a problem, Lou? 9 00:01:35,133 --> 00:01:36,143 Come on. That's all right. 10 00:01:36,167 --> 00:01:37,133
1 00:01:23,234 --> 00:01:25,934 Hey, guys, get your money out, I'm going to make you rich. 2 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,133 What's up, Tony? 3 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,267 I got a tip on a fight on the island. 4 00:01:29,334 --> 00:01:30,643 We can't lose. You know how I know? 5 00:01:30,667 --> 00:01:32,267 He's fighting you? 6 00:01:32,334 --> 00:01:33,968 Better than that. 7 00:01:34,033 --> 00:01:35,334 Nothing's better than that. 8 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,167 Thank you. 9 00:01:37,234 --> 00:01:39,067 I heard these two guys talking in the gym
1 00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:26,400 Hey, guys. 2 00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:28,577 You're never gonna believe who I had in my cab last night. 3 00:01:28,601 --> 00:01:29,734 Who? 4 00:01:29,767 --> 00:01:31,133 Guess. 5 00:01:31,167 --> 00:01:33,234 We give up. Who? 6 00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:35,167 What's-his-name. 7 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,534 Hey, it is what's-his-name. 8 00:01:37,567 --> 00:01:39,300 That's herve villechaize. Yeah. 9 00:01:39,334 --> 00:01:41,243 Yeah, you know, the little guy from fantasy island. 10 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:42,910
1 00:01:11,167 --> 00:01:12,176 You're never gonna believe 2 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:13,376 who I had in my cab last night! 3 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:15,133 Hey, that's herve villechaize. 4 00:01:15,167 --> 00:01:16,510 Yeah, you know, the little guy from fantasy island. 5 00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:18,734 He left these pictures in my cab last night. 6 00:01:18,767 --> 00:01:21,801 What is this, eh... Fantasy island? 7 00:01:21,834 --> 00:01:23,300 Well, actually, Latka, 8 00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:25,501 there really isn't a fantasy island. 9 00:01:25,534 --> 00:01:27,801 Well, I wish there was a place like that.
1 00:01:20,567 --> 00:01:23,133 Saturday night is just fine. 2 00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:24,267 Okay. Thank you. 3 00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:25,534 Bye-bye. 4 00:01:25,567 --> 00:01:26,734 Guys! 5 00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:28,501 Doug Johnson from the art gallery 6 00:01:28,534 --> 00:01:31,167 just asked me out for this Saturday night! 7 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:32,667 Oh, that's very nice. 8 00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:34,009 That's wonderful. That's terrific. 9 00:01:34,033 --> 00:01:36,100 Yes, and I don't have a baby-sitter, so could...?
1 00:01:25,767 --> 00:01:26,767 Hey. 2 00:01:26,801 --> 00:01:28,267 Here, get the air moving 3 00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:30,200 around me in here a little bit. 4 00:01:30,234 --> 00:01:32,467 You want me to fan you? 5 00:01:32,501 --> 00:01:34,467 I don't think so, Louie. 6 00:01:34,501 --> 00:01:35,968 You see, I left my palm leaf 7 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,300 back at the hut this morning. 8 00:01:38,334 --> 00:01:40,968 Go ahead. Make it racial right away. 9 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,667 Oh, guys. 10 00:01:43,701 --> 00:01:44,868 Hi, Elaine.
1 00:01:23,801 --> 00:01:25,133 You know, Bobby, 2 00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:26,634 I been thinking about something. 3 00:01:26,667 --> 00:01:27,634 Yeah? 4 00:01:27,667 --> 00:01:29,667 Look at me... I get up every morning, 5 00:01:29,701 --> 00:01:30,367 I eat breakfast, 6 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,200 I get dressed, I go to the gym 7 00:01:32,234 --> 00:01:33,400 and I come to work. 8 00:01:33,434 --> 00:01:35,934 I go home, I watch TV, and I go to sleep. 9 00:01:35,968 --> 00:01:37,100 Next day, I wake up, 10 00:01:37,133 --> 00:01:39,434
1 00:01:25,467 --> 00:01:28,067 How's dinner, Elaine? Hmm? 2 00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:29,400 Good, huh? 3 00:01:29,467 --> 00:01:31,234 Yeah, it's great. 4 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,767 It's great. 5 00:01:32,834 --> 00:01:35,334 I really appreciate this, guys. 6 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:36,767 Don't thank us, Elaine. 7 00:01:36,834 --> 00:01:39,033 Seeing you cheer up is reward enough. 8 00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,234 Oh, I'm sorry. 9 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,834 I know I'm not responding much, 10 00:01:42,901 --> 00:01:46,767 but I just don't bounce
1 00:01:20,868 --> 00:01:23,267 My name is Spencer. I'm an investigator. 2 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,534 I'm looking for a Jim ignatowski. 3 00:01:25,567 --> 00:01:26,834 Ohh... 4 00:01:29,734 --> 00:01:32,000 I guess that's ignatowski. 5 00:01:32,033 --> 00:01:34,067 Yeah, well, uh, it could be. Uh... 6 00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:35,968 Do you have business with Mr. Ignatowski? 7 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,033 Well, like I said, I'm a private investigator. 8 00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:39,367 I was hired to find him. 9 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:40,367 Oh.
1 00:01:23,767 --> 00:01:24,868 Louie! 2 00:01:24,901 --> 00:01:26,100 Yeah. 3 00:01:26,133 --> 00:01:27,434 Cockroach at 10:00. 4 00:01:29,601 --> 00:01:30,968 Oh, my god! 5 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:34,400 That's the biggest cockroach I've ever seen! 6 00:01:34,434 --> 00:01:36,067 That's a man-eater. 7 00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:37,234 I'm going up after it. 8 00:01:37,267 --> 00:01:38,400 Careful, Louie. 9 00:01:38,434 --> 00:01:39,743 Give me something, give me something. 10 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,734
1 00:01:19,868 --> 00:01:21,868 Hey, hey! Here it is! Here it is, I'm on! I'm on! 2 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,067 You're 11,000 feet high in the mountains. 3 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:28,367 You've brought down your last tree 4 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,501 and then you sense it... That brickhauser feeling. 5 00:01:31,534 --> 00:01:35,267 You're ready for America's boldest beer. 6 00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:38,934 Brickhauser, the beer as cold and bold 7 00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:41,601 as the mountains themselves. 8 00:01:45,767 --> 00:01:47,300 You were great. 9 00:01:47,334 --> 00:01:49,501
1 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,267 Latka! 2 00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:43,133 Oh, Louie, hello. 3 00:01:44,434 --> 00:01:46,667 Just the man I'm looking for. 4 00:01:46,701 --> 00:01:48,634 Do you have the correct time? 5 00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:50,100 My watch stopped. 6 00:01:50,133 --> 00:01:52,434 The correct time is you're eight minutes late. 7 00:01:52,467 --> 00:01:53,501 Oh, thank you. 8 00:01:53,534 --> 00:01:54,834 Hold it, here, hold it. 9 00:01:54,868 --> 00:01:55,968 This is serious. 10 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,868 I hope you got a good
1 00:01:20,067 --> 00:01:21,868 Yes. Yes, Mr. McKenzie. 2 00:01:21,901 --> 00:01:23,868 Oh, yes. I understand, sir. 3 00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:25,234 Certainly. 4 00:01:25,267 --> 00:01:27,968 When your wife comes in, tell her you're not here. 5 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,367 Yeah. Very good, sir. 6 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:33,367 Oh, uh, by the way, uh, Mr. McKenzie, have I ever told you 7 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:38,334 that you have a magnificent telephone voice? 8 00:01:38,367 --> 00:01:42,901 Uh, well, have I told you today? 9 00:01:42,934 --> 00:01:44,701 Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, sir. 10
1 00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:41,434 May I have your attention, please? 2 00:01:41,467 --> 00:01:43,267 God knows, I hate to interrupt 3 00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:47,300 the important conversations I know you're all having, 4 00:01:47,334 --> 00:01:51,567 but someone special is retiring today 5 00:01:51,601 --> 00:01:55,467 after 41 years with sunshine cabs. 6 00:01:55,501 --> 00:01:58,734 These are the last receipts 7 00:01:58,767 --> 00:02:05,033 that will ever be turned in by our old friend maxie... 8 00:02:07,334 --> 00:02:09,334 What is that, "mulch"? 9 00:02:09,367 --> 00:02:11,334 Mulcher?
1 00:01:20,901 --> 00:01:25,334 Loneliness, loneliness, loneliness... hmm! 2 00:01:25,367 --> 00:01:26,701 Miss taxi cab driver, 3 00:01:26,734 --> 00:01:29,067 do you know where I spent my afternoon? 4 00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,400 In a bar? 5 00:01:30,434 --> 00:01:31,901 I was in a bar. 6 00:01:31,934 --> 00:01:35,033 And do you... do you know what I was doing? 7 00:01:35,067 --> 00:01:36,734 Drinking. 8 00:01:36,767 --> 00:01:38,734 I was drinking. 9 00:01:38,767 --> 00:01:41,367 You know... you know what I was thinking about?
1 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,367 Set him down here, guys. 2 00:01:24,467 --> 00:01:26,434 Alex, what happened? 3 00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:28,901 Well, he came out and hit you with a left and... 4 00:01:28,934 --> 00:01:29,901 Then what? 5 00:01:29,934 --> 00:01:31,109 Describe the whole fight to me. 6 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:33,200 I just did. 7 00:01:33,234 --> 00:01:35,200 Well, I guess my memory's okay then. 8 00:01:35,234 --> 00:01:36,467 Hey, hold up, guys. 9 00:01:36,501 --> 00:01:39,167 Hey, uh, Tony, am I supposed to tip them or something? 10
1 00:01:25,901 --> 00:01:26,868 Here's one. 2 00:01:26,901 --> 00:01:28,200 Driver... 3 00:01:31,367 --> 00:01:32,834 Where to? 4 00:01:32,868 --> 00:01:34,167 The Plaza hotel. 5 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,167 The Plaza hotel... 6 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,200 Hey, look, I know you may be skeptical... 7 00:01:38,234 --> 00:01:39,601 I know you may be skeptical, 8 00:01:39,634 --> 00:01:40,834 but by the end of the day, 9 00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:42,467 you're going to be thanking me. 10 00:01:44,033 --> 00:01:45,133 What's the matter?
1 00:01:22,534 --> 00:01:25,200 Hey, Elaine, it still raining out? 2 00:01:25,234 --> 00:01:29,934 No. They opened a fire hydrant, and I've been playing in it. 3 00:01:29,968 --> 00:01:31,367 Oh. 4 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,834 Avast, you lubbers! 5 00:01:38,334 --> 00:01:41,100 What a beautiful day it is. 6 00:01:41,133 --> 00:01:44,000 It's coming down buckets out there. 7 00:01:44,033 --> 00:01:45,634 The weatherman said 8 00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:48,234 it's going to last all day long, ha-ha! 9 00:01:48,267 --> 00:01:49,868 You like the rain, boss?
1 00:01:21,067 --> 00:01:24,734 Uh, what's the problem? 2 00:01:24,767 --> 00:01:26,634 I can't find an apartment. 3 00:01:26,667 --> 00:01:28,901 I thought you had an apartment. 4 00:01:28,934 --> 00:01:30,267 No, I lost it. 5 00:01:30,300 --> 00:01:33,934 That happens to me all the time. 6 00:01:34,934 --> 00:01:38,801 Sometimes, I can't find mine for days. 7 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:43,467 Jim, I told you all about this yesterday. 8 00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:47,100 Jim, remember? 9 00:01:47,133 --> 00:01:48,767 They're turning Elaine's apartment house 10
1 00:01:20,434 --> 00:01:22,367 Ignatowski. 2 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,467 Yo. 3 00:01:25,968 --> 00:01:27,434 Janine! 4 00:01:27,467 --> 00:01:28,901 I'm sorry, Mr. De palma. 5 00:01:28,934 --> 00:01:30,300 I didn't do very well. 6 00:01:30,334 --> 00:01:32,300 No, no. I just can't seem to get 7 00:01:32,334 --> 00:01:33,634 the hang of this. 8 00:01:33,667 --> 00:01:35,100 Well, don't worry. 9 00:01:35,133 --> 00:01:36,801 You're just learning. 10 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:43,267 What you need, Janine...
1 00:01:19,567 --> 00:01:20,868 Here it is. Here it is. 2 00:01:20,901 --> 00:01:22,367 What? What? 3 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:26,067 "Charles Darwin tonight, starring Bobby Wheeler." 4 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:27,834 We made enough money in the first two weeks 5 00:01:27,868 --> 00:01:29,434 of the show to run an ad in the paper. 6 00:01:29,467 --> 00:01:30,734 Ooh! Let me see! 7 00:01:30,767 --> 00:01:33,667 "A one-man show based on the life of Charles Darwin." 8 00:01:33,701 --> 00:01:36,901 When I first read the script, I said to myself, 9 00:01:36,934 --> 00:01:39,400 "there's something
1 00:01:22,067 --> 00:01:23,701 Hey, what's going on, huh? 2 00:01:23,734 --> 00:01:25,634 How come none of you guys are out driving? 3 00:01:25,667 --> 00:01:27,701 Louie's been upstairs in a meeting for an hour, 4 00:01:27,734 --> 00:01:30,200 you know, with the, uh, company executives and MacKenzie. 5 00:01:30,234 --> 00:01:31,501 Well, what's the meeting about? 6 00:01:31,534 --> 00:01:32,534 Got me. 7 00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:34,167 Hey, does anybody know 8 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,033 what's going on up there? 9 00:01:36,067 --> 00:01:38,100 Well, uh, don't hold me to this, 10
1 00:01:11,634 --> 00:01:13,067 You couldn't just drive 2 00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:14,701 and be happy you had jobs. 3 00:01:14,734 --> 00:01:17,534 The sunshine cab company is broke. 4 00:01:17,567 --> 00:01:19,567 We'll have to find ourselves other jobs. 5 00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:20,777 We'll meet in a month and we'll tell about 6 00:01:20,801 --> 00:01:21,810 the great jobs we all got. 7 00:01:21,834 --> 00:01:22,801 Yeah! 8 00:01:22,834 --> 00:01:23,868 Here. 9 00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:25,367 Congratulations. 10
1 00:01:17,067 --> 00:01:20,200 I waited till everybody was over at Mario's 2 00:01:20,234 --> 00:01:23,868 because I didn't want to take any more razzing over this. 3 00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:25,767 Now, you say this poison works 4 00:01:25,801 --> 00:01:27,467 on all kinds of cockroaches 5 00:01:27,501 --> 00:01:29,567 because I got a monster in there. 6 00:01:29,601 --> 00:01:30,734 A monster. 7 00:01:30,767 --> 00:01:33,267 No insect can survive this poison. 8 00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:35,934 Respect your foe. 9 00:01:35,968 --> 00:01:38,901 We're not talking about just any insect.
1 00:01:20,815 --> 00:01:22,114 Hey, Bob. Hey, ton. 2 00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:23,481 How you doing? 3 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,884 Hey, I saw the greatest hockey game of all time. 4 00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:27,052 Yeah? 5 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:29,388 Last night... thank you. 6 00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:31,290 It was between the islanders and the flyers. 7 00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:33,024 They scored 13 goals in the game, 8 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,193 and there must have been 200 minutes of penalties. 9 00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,662 Oh... fight. Man, was it rough.
1 00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:29,053 Guess what! 2 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,323 Elaine nardo is going to Europe! 3 00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:32,824 How can she do that? 4 00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:35,360 Because her ex-husband just showed up out of the blue 5 00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:37,095 and took her kids for four weeks, 6 00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:38,564 leaving her free as a bird! 7 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,365 All right! Let's give her a going-away party. 8 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:41,666 Yes! Elaine: Okay. 9 00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:43,201 No! 10
1 00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:25,851 I don't know, Alex. 2 00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:28,353 I think I should be doing something better with my life. 3 00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:30,400 You know, I've been thinking about going to college. 4 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,956 Really? 5 00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:34,304 Hey, that's great, Tony, I'm glad to hear you talk like that. 6 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,261 I only wish I knew how to go about it. 7 00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:38,297 Well, you find a college, you get an application, 8 00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:39,542 you make it out and send it in. 9 00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,366 Yeah, boy,
1 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,650 Who am I kidding? 2 00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:27,619 I just don't have it in me to be a good television executive. 3 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:30,389 I'm... I'm too concerned about people liking me. 4 00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:32,457 I-I'm too afraid to get tough. 5 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,025 Janine, when you're against the wall, 6 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,360 you always come through. 7 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,106 But I've got something really unpleasant to do, 8 00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:38,797 and I don't think I can do it. 9 00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:40,143 You'll do it, because your sense
1 00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:19,789 Hey, reiger, what are you gonna be doing 2 00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:21,480 on this miserable cold night 3 00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:24,182 while I'm cuddling with my girlfriend zena, 4 00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:27,152 sipping wine and watching the miss universe pageant? 5 00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:29,053 I'll be driving, Lou. 6 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,188 Close. 7 00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:31,523 You'll be driving an old woman 8 00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:32,957 and a sick husky to the vet. 9 00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:34,226 Hudson and Jane street. 10
1 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:26,285 Oh, no! No! 2 00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:27,619 Ah, why me? 3 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:28,787 What's wrong, Tony? 4 00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:30,622 I've been called for jury duty. 5 00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,457 Oh... ah, you're very lucky. 6 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:33,770 You're getting a chance to participate 7 00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:34,794 in the judicial system. 8 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:35,828 It's really a privilege. 9 00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:38,296 Have you ever been called? 10 00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:40,565 Not so far. Yeah.
1 00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,183 Come on, Tony. 2 00:01:25,218 --> 00:01:27,018 You just have to accept the fact 3 00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:28,921 that Latka has multiple personalities. 4 00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:30,489 Vic Ferrari is one of them. 5 00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:31,690 But it's not fair. 6 00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,459 I mean, Latka works here all year, 7 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:34,960 and then Vic takes his vacation. 8 00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:36,628 Well, look at it this way, Tony. 9 00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,997 If Latka takes a vacation, it's a dull vacation, 10
1 00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:26,885 Elaine, Elaine, I don't think we should be doing this. 2 00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:29,388 Oh, no. Come on, Alex. 3 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,857 This may be our only chance to meet Craig eagen. 4 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,324 You said you loved his paintings. 5 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,026 You said you wanted to meet him. 6 00:01:35,061 --> 00:01:36,027 I know. I said that before. 7 00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:37,173 You told me he was a total recluse. 8 00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:38,463 Oh, those are just stories. 9 00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:40,465 I'm sure they're exaggerated.
1 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,818 Hey, Alex, can I talk to ya for a second? 2 00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:27,887 I got a problem. 3 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,687 You got a problem? Sure, Tony, what is it? 4 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:32,069 Well, I'm at the crossroads of my life and I'm a little scared. 5 00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:34,025 Yeah? I mean, it's really eatin' at me, 6 00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:36,306 and you're standin' here with this goofy grin on your face. 7 00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:37,429 I'm grinning? 8 00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:39,297 Yeah, you have been ever since I came in here. 9 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,609
1 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:24,183 Phew! Hi, everybody! 2 00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:25,417 Hi. Hello, Elaine. 3 00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:27,085 I have no time to talk today. 4 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:28,787 Hey, hey, hey, what's the big rush? 5 00:01:28,823 --> 00:01:30,923 Oh, I've got an opening at the art gallery. 6 00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:33,292 And my last fare wouldn't get out of the cab. 7 00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:34,492 He kept flirting with me. 8 00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,628 You know, uh, telling me about his Porsche, 9 00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:39,531 his stock investments, his plans to scale mount Everest.
1 00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:23,916 Hey, hey, Jim? Yo. 2 00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:26,485 You didn't get coffee? Huh? No. 3 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,153 Machine must be jammed again. 4 00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:29,655 Let me give you a hand. 5 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:30,656 Excuse me. 6 00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,124 Hey. 7 00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:33,458 Tony, Tony, Tony! 8 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,427 Pounding on it is not gonna help. 9 00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:53,812 Oh, is the coffee that bad this morning? 10 00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,814
1 00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,816 Hey, hello, Latka. 2 00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,857 Good. He's not here yet. 3 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,191 Bobby's not here. 4 00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:34,626 I bought him a gift. 5 00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:36,395 Can you guess what it is? 6 00:01:38,064 --> 00:01:40,699 A beach ball. 7 00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:42,667 Oh... yeah. 8 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:46,271 Okay, but can you guess what color it is? 9 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:48,974 Red, green, yellow and blue. 10 00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:51,643 Yeah, that's right.
1 00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:25,650 Hey, Alex. 2 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:26,985 Hi, Tony. 3 00:01:27,053 --> 00:01:28,186 Guess what. 4 00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:29,855 I just joined this great protection group 5 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,255 in my neighborhood, see? 6 00:01:31,324 --> 00:01:33,592 We patrol the streets, catch muggers, that kind of thing. 7 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:34,771 No fooling? Congratulations. 8 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:36,138 Yeah, man. Only one problem, though. 9 00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:37,306 They say I got to have a partner.
1 00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:25,817 I just passed Latka on my way in. 2 00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:27,786 Guess who he is today? 3 00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,621 Poor Latka. 4 00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:30,689 I'll give you a hint. 5 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,658 He's wearing savage leather Cologne. 6 00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:33,792 Oh, no, not him. 7 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,670 Hey, beautiful co-workers. 8 00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:47,773 What a day it is to be young, gifted and Vic. 9 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,045 You know, I'm getting used to Latka
1 00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:26,417 So, what are you gonna do about your problem, reiger? 2 00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:27,753 What? 3 00:01:27,822 --> 00:01:29,299 What are you talking about, my problem? 4 00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:32,357 Latka's girlfriend is coming back. 5 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:33,992 Who else is gonna tell her 6 00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:37,296 that he's become the three faces of weird? 7 00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:39,832 You know, Louie, Louie, even for you, 8 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,100 there's gotta be a more sensitive and caring way 9 00:01:42,169 --> 00:01:43,602
1 00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:16,875 Hey, Louie? 2 00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:20,745 Go ahead, banta. What is it? 3 00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:23,915 Louie? Hey, Louie, I got a ten-year-old in my cab. 4 00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,884 And I just found out he's a runaway. 5 00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:27,152 He owes me 12 bucks, 6 00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:28,920 and turns out, he's only got two. 7 00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:31,323 He won't tell me where he lives. 8 00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:33,591 Bring that little crook in here. 9 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:35,727 We're gonna find out who his parents are
1 00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:20,345 Alex, take a look at this. 2 00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:23,748 I have a date with the girl in the suntan oil ad. 3 00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:24,949 Her name is randi. Oh... 4 00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:26,385 She's agreed to go out with me, 5 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,997 but she wants me to bring somebody else along 6 00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:29,299 to go out with her older sister. 7 00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:30,989 What do you say? Oh, I don't know, Tony. 8 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,423 Come on, do one for me, 9 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,092 please, please, please. No, I... 10
1 00:01:23,516 --> 00:01:27,086 Have I ever told you guys anything about Fred Collins? 2 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:32,991 He's got bedroom eyes, David niven mustache 3 00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:36,261 and eyes that show you that he's a little boy after all. 4 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:40,031 You just happened to mention him in passing? 5 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:42,167 Well, I'm seeing him tonight. No! 6 00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:44,236 Hey, you finally got a date with the guy, huh? 7 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,871 Uh, well, no, not exactly, 8 00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:47,505 but I did find out that he's going 9
1 00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,283 Hey. 2 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,019 How are you doing? 3 00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:28,320 Good. 4 00:01:28,355 --> 00:01:29,521 How about you? 5 00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:31,790 Oh, pretty good. 6 00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,528 Who are you? 7 00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:39,064 Jim ignatowski. 8 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,699 My name is Lucius Franklin. 9 00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:42,000 Nice to meet you. 10 00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:44,102 Hi. Uh, I'm Alex reiger.
1 00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:23,849 Next. 2 00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:29,621 Okay, to the n-e-g-a-t-e. 3 00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:32,057 "Negate" for, uh, nine points. 4 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,592 Uh, mind if I play? 5 00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:35,727 Huh? 6 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,295 No, be my guest. 7 00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:39,931 I can't make anything out of those letters anyway. 8 00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:04,623 Blorf. 9 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,861 How many points? 10 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:11,196 That isn't a word.
1 00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,583 Hello, Arlene. 2 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:27,986 Hello, Jose. 3 00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:30,121 Hello, Dwayne. 4 00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,991 Hello, Billy. 5 00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:35,860 Hello, Ruby. 6 00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,866 A man is nothing without friends. 7 00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:44,002 Boy, are you in a good mood 8 00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:45,904 today. Yes. 9 00:01:45,972 --> 00:01:47,338 You know that nagging 10 00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:49,941 multiple personalities
1 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,750 Mrs. Carson, I don't think we have a lot of time. 2 00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:29,120 No. No, val, no. Please. 3 00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:30,689 Please don't go, val. 4 00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,261 Jim! 5 00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:12,297 Hey, hey, Jim, what in the world happened? 6 00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:18,236 Well, did you ever have one of those mornings? 7 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:23,008 You know, the kind when a big steel ball 8 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:26,110 comes crashing through your apartment? 9 00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:27,412 You mean a wrecking ball?
1 00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:29,688 Shuffle. 2 00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:32,658 All right? Yeah. 3 00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:34,626 We'll shuffle it again, all right? 4 00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:37,295 Can I show you guys a card trick? 5 00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:39,298 Yeah, sure. 6 00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:40,299 Go ahead. 7 00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:43,234 Uh, could I have a little room here? 8 00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:44,936 Okay, it's all right. 9 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,540 Okay, now. 10
1 00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:28,554 So, whatever happened to Heather? 2 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:32,090 Interesting you should bring that up. 3 00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:35,026 I ran into her not long ago. 4 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:38,497 I almost walked right by her. 5 00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:41,900 I wouldn't have recognized her in a million years, 6 00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:46,505 except for one little thing that never changes. 7 00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:47,840 What's that? 8 00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:50,008 My name. 9 00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:52,711 She yelled, "hey, Jim!"
1 00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:24,249 Here is your lunch, my Latka. 2 00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:32,390 Now I will go to make our apartment a home 3 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,459 and watch Richard Simmons 4 00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:38,897 so my body will be lean and supple for your return. 5 00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:44,870 I shall fly through my day knowing what awaits me. 6 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,540 And I shall puke my guts out... 7 00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:52,611 If you don't knock it off. 8 00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:55,480 Louie is angry 9 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:59,651 because he does not have what we have.
1 00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:20,045 Oh... oh, no, no, no. 2 00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:22,181 No, I... no, I understand. 3 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,682 Yeah. All right, good-bye. 4 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:31,590 Banta, nardo? Reiger, reiger? 5 00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:32,591 What? Alex: Hmm? 6 00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:33,899 Come over here. Come over here. 7 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:34,927 What? 8 00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:39,498 I just talked to Jim's brother. 9 00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,733 It's terrible news. 10 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:42,935 What is it?
1 00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:21,713 Nardo, you're not going to get a cop for this. 2 00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:24,515 I mean, the police have their priorities. 3 00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:28,553 Finding a missing cabbie lies somewhere below 4 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:31,123 "there's a cat in heat disturbing the neighborhood." 5 00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,893 Yes, hello. Yes, my name is Elaine nardo 6 00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:37,062 and I'd like to report a missing cab driver. 7 00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:39,798 His name is Alex reiger and... 8 00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:41,132 Yes, I'll hold. 9 00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:46,905
1 00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:23,960 Louie, Louie, Louie, where are you, Louie? 2 00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,350 Why don't you help me, Louie? 3 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,785 Why don't you answer me, Louie? 4 00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:27,953 Where are you, Louie? 5 00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:29,787 Yeah, bates, this is Louie. 6 00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:31,223 How's it goin', kiddo? 7 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,725 I had an accident. I hit some ice 8 00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,027 and I spun off the road. 9 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,662 I can't get the cab started. 10 00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:39,031
1 00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:17,153 Louie, I hit some ice and I spun off the road. 2 00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:19,477 I can't get the cab started. 3 00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:21,413 The window's broken and I'm freezing. 4 00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:23,949 I'm on an unmarked country road. 5 00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:26,818 She's doomed. 6 00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:30,321 Louie, I know where this woman is. 7 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:32,023 It's right near the farm 8 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:35,394 where simka and I buy our goat knuckles. 9 00:01:35,462 --> 00:01:36,728 Oh, oh, oh...
1 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,447 Sunshine cab... 2 00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:24,516 Oh, hello. Hello, Mr. Ratledge. 3 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:27,252 Yeah. Oh. 4 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:28,654 Oh, yes. 5 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:29,921 Major problem. Yes, sir. 6 00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,550 I'll be right up. I'll be right up, sir. 7 00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:37,162 Hey, Louie, Louie, Louie! 8 00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:38,641 What? Aren't you forgetting something? 9 00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:41,667 I've never seen you go up and visit the boss 10
1 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,975 Look, you're wrong, ned. 2 00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:19,511 What we're selling is the Broadway experience. 3 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:21,913 We want the out-of-towners and the average man 4 00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:23,381 to buy those tickets, 5 00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:25,851 and those people want to see an orchestra in the pit. 6 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,020 Those people don't care where the orchestra is. 7 00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:30,189 They probably don't even know where it is. 8 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,690 Here, I'll show you. 9 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,225 Excuse me, cabbie? Hmm?
1 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:19,310 Oh, boy. 2 00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:23,582 Nothing like seeing e.T. For the 64th time 3 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:26,485 to pick up your day. 4 00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:29,655 Oh, Jim, aren't you sick of that movie yet? 5 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,824 Does this look like I'm sick of it? 6 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,004 I bet you've seen that movie more times 7 00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:36,228 than anybody else in the city. 8 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:37,329 No. 9 00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:40,665 Actually, there's this kid...
1 00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:22,914 Excuse me. 2 00:01:22,982 --> 00:01:24,082 What do you say, guys? 3 00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:25,183 Well. Oh, my gosh. 4 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,329 How come you're so happy? 5 00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:27,419 Well... 6 00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:28,798 I didn't tell you about this before 7 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,222 because if it didn't work out, 8 00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:31,935 it would have been real, real embarrassing, 9 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,192 but I've got a chance to make big money. 10
1 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,348 Zena! Hi! 2 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:24,683 Look who's here! Oh, my god! 3 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:25,784 Oh, my god! Hey! 4 00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:27,552 It seems like a million years! I know. 5 00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:29,199 Long time, long time. You look fantastic! 6 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,789 Oh, thanks. So do you. Oh, zena! 7 00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,835 - God, it's so great to see you both. - Look at that! 8 00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:34,593 Wow! 9 00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:35,794 God. 10
1 00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:22,113 Come on, get 'em... get 'em! 2 00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:24,583 Oh, damn, damn, damn! 3 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:25,583 Hey, hey, hey. 4 00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:27,019 What happened to "ho, ho, ho"? 5 00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:28,887 Christmas ain't what it used to be, Alex. 6 00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:30,889 It's the worst bowl game I've ever seen. 7 00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:32,357 Both teams stink. 8 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:35,093 This ain't a bowl game; It's a tapestry. 9 00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:37,228 Tapestry? 10
1 00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:19,577 I don't even know why I bother opening my mail. 2 00:01:19,612 --> 00:01:22,080 It's always the same thing. 3 00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:23,782 Yeah, I know. Bills, huh? 4 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,917 Checks. Yeah... 5 00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:29,688 Some days you just want to dump the whole thing... 6 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,056 Checks? 7 00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:35,794 Ever since my dad died 8 00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:40,932 and my brother took charge of my estate, 9 00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:44,235 I've been getting checks, lots of checks.
1 00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:27,485 Now I know what drove Scott Fitzgerald to drink. 2 00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:28,920 What's that? 3 00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:33,458 A little piece of paper that says 4 00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:38,129 "you drained your soul into the typewriter for naught." 5 00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:40,431 Let me see. Let me see. 6 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:42,834 It's from the kenderson literary agency. 7 00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:45,737 "Dear Mr. Ignatowski, although your submission 8 00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:47,639 "was one of the most interesting we've read, 9 00:01:47,707 --> 00:01:51,543
1 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:20,278 Hey, Louie. 2 00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:22,280 Hey, Jeff. 3 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:25,383 Hey, how come you hung this girlie calendar here? 4 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:30,688 Don't, don't say girlie calendar like those girls are bimbos. 5 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:34,793 Those girls are not bimbos, they're all career women. 6 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:39,798 That girl bending over to lace her boots is a brain surgeon. 7 00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:42,968 Well, I don't care about the calendar, Louie, 8 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:46,638 but why is it covering the picture of my mother? 9 00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:49,073
1 00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:04,469 Hi, I'm Danny de vito. 2 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:07,306 We've just completed filming five years of taxi 3 00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:09,975 and nbc thought it was time to celebrate. 4 00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:13,112 So, we put together scenes from our best shows. 5 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,981 Now, if you've been watching taxi for the past five years, 6 00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:18,783 you're in for some great memories. 7 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,018 And if you haven't, 8 00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:21,620 you dirty miserable... 9 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,288 Come on in here.
1 00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:19,878 Iggy. 2 00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:21,446 Iggy! Igg! 3 00:01:21,514 --> 00:01:22,948 What? 4 00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:25,216 Look, I've got to go to the storeroom 5 00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:27,419 to take inventory. Now... 6 00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:30,388 I want you to do something for me while I'm gone. 7 00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:34,793 You want me? 8 00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:36,694 Boss! Oh! 9 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,463 Igg! Igg, igg, igg, igg. Oh, boss. 10
1 00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:55,454 Uh, listen, the auction 2 00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:57,356 that I'm going to is an art auction. 3 00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:59,358 Would you, uh, like to join me? 4 00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:02,661 I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean that as a come-on. 5 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:05,030 No, that's not true. I did mean that as a come-on. 6 00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:07,165 Oh. Would you? 7 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:08,833 Oh, I don't know. 8 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:12,670 I... I couldn't date a guy that I didn't know. 9 00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,741 What's your name anyway? Mike beldon.
1 00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:18,843 Okay, count of three. 2 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,179 One, two, three! 3 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,447 Come on, Tony! 4 00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:30,956 Down! Down! 5 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,427 The new champ, that's right! 6 00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:37,095 Now, fork over that championship belt. 7 00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:38,296 Right now, hand it over. 8 00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:39,564 I lost it. 9 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:40,965 You lost it? 10 00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:42,134 Then give me your belt.
1 00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:22,381 Whoa, whoa, are you in good spirits. 2 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:23,481 Whoo. 3 00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,016 What'd you do today, Louie? 4 00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:27,719 You kick some squirrels into the lake? 5 00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,688 Better than that, reiger. 6 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:32,290 I just came from a class with Judy 7 00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:34,025 at the school for the blind. 8 00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:36,094 She's been trying to get me to go for months. 9 00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:38,363 If I knew it was gonna be so much fun,
1 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:19,010 Hello, everybody. 2 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,990 Where's Latka? Where's Latka? I got wonderful news. 3 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,580 What is it, what is it? What is it? 4 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,083 Here, you read this for yourself. 5 00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:25,984 I got to go find Latka. 6 00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:27,419 Latka? 7 00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:36,094 "Bleam Niki schlev rosko iska bedosko pavitz iba da." 8 00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:38,463 Is it, uh, from their country? 9 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:39,698 Yeah, I guess so.
1 00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:19,344 Whoo! Hi! 2 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,112 Hoo! That was some run, huh? 3 00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:24,015 I can't believe we did eight miles. 4 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,950 Wow! You ran eight miles? 5 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:27,719 No, no, no, no, I ran eight miles. 6 00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,654 He drove alongside in his cab. 7 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:32,057 Well, the heater was stuck. 8 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:35,160 It was like an oven in there. 9 00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:37,963 My body can't take that kind of strain. 10
1 00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:22,581 Hello, everybody. 2 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:23,682 Hi, sim. Ooh. 3 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,884 Hello. Simka! 4 00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:27,819 You changed your makeup, huh? 5 00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:30,688 Oh, thanks for noticing, Elaine. 6 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,891 I got a new career. 7 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:34,493 As a mime? 8 00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:38,864 No, Louie, I'm selling door-to-door cosmetics. 9 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:42,233 And your sample case blew up in your face? 10 00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:44,335
1 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:19,711 Anybody got any spare change? 2 00:01:19,779 --> 00:01:22,614 Anything left in your pockets you don't want? 3 00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:25,650 Old gum? Traveler's checks? 4 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,552 Somebody want to give me their clothing? 5 00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:29,788 Hey, hey! 6 00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:31,457 Hey, come on, no scuzzos allowed in here. 7 00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:32,524 Get out, out! 8 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,226 All right. 9 00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,227 Goodbye, everybody! 10
1 00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:17,609 Yeah. All right. 2 00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:19,378 Well, bye-bye, everybody. 3 00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:20,846 Huh? 4 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,315 I'm going to meet simka at the department of immigration 5 00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:26,318 so she can get her green card and stay in America forever. 6 00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:28,620 Oh... yeah! Alex: Hey, Latka, Latka, that's great. 7 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,288 That's great. Latka: We'll have a party, 8 00:01:30,357 --> 00:01:31,523 and you're all invited. 9 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,291 Oh. Jim: Uh, excuse me?
