Schitt's Creek English Subtitles

1
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:05,170
Ah!
David: Oh my God!

2
00:00:05,205 --> 00:00:07,005
Alexis: Ugh!

3
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:08,306
Jeez, I'm not out
the door yet!

4
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:10,509
Hey, hey, David,
isn't that your friend?

5
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:12,911
Moira: Oh, I didn't
recognize him clothed.

6
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,181
Yeah, I don't know
what he's doing here.

7
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:19,317
You sure, David, 'cause
I've got a pretty good idea.

8
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,720
- Alexis, don't be crass.

9
00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:23,522

1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,538
- What are these sad print-outs?

2
00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:10,275
They're for a proposal I plan
on making to the family.

3
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:12,511
And what kind of proposal
is this, Mr. Rose?

4
00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:15,213
Are the police auctioning off
crime scene vehicles?

5
00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:16,848
- No, these are only examples,

6
00:00:16,883 --> 00:00:18,250
uh, for the proposal.

7
00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:20,786
I think it's time
we invest in a car.

8
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:23,021
I really don't see myself
driving any of these.

9
00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:24,423
- Now, these are just examples.

1
00:00:03,103 --> 00:00:04,970
Johnny: Well, what do you think
of the new wheels?

2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,872
Do you want my honest
opinion?

3
00:00:06,907 --> 00:00:08,840
Or...

4
00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:10,208
- You got your wallet?

5
00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:11,743
- Um, I have my debit card.

6
00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:13,945
- And what about your license?

7
00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:15,313
- What about it?

8
00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:17,082
- Do you have it?

9
00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:18,517
- It's fine.

10
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:20,619

1
00:00:07,474 --> 00:00:10,409
- Hi.

2
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:13,312
Um, your agent called.
Do you have any safety pins?

3
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,047
- My agent?

4
00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:17,349
Which one?

5
00:00:17,384 --> 00:00:18,984
Uh, I think the assistant
said her name was Jennifer?

6
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,220
Ginnifer? Or Jennifer
with a "G?"

7
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:22,888
There's more than one!

8
00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:25,057
- They sent you an email.

9
00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:26,292
- Is it a job?

10

1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:03,335
Jocelyn: Okay, Jazzigals,

2
00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:05,537
let's gather in for a warm-up!

3
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:08,273
Okay!

4
00:00:08,308 --> 00:00:10,108
- Oh, before we start,

5
00:00:10,143 --> 00:00:12,044
I just wanted warn everybody,

6
00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:15,113
there is a murderer
on the loose.

7
00:00:15,148 --> 00:00:16,615
In this town.

8
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,950
- Uh-oh.

9
00:00:18,985 --> 00:00:21,453
So heads up,
eyes peeled, guys.

10
00:00:21,488 --> 00:00:23,688

1
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,610
Okay well, you could've
dropped me off back there!

2
00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:13,011
- Oh, don't be silly honey,

3
00:00:13,046 --> 00:00:15,080
we're happy to drive you
right to the door.

4
00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:17,582
Yeah, this is an iconic
moment in all of our lives,

5
00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:19,451
and I think we should
experience it to the fullest.

6
00:00:19,486 --> 00:00:21,620
Moira: We're very proud of you,
Alexis.

7
00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:22,621
- Thank you.

8
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:25,657
Is that appropriate attire
for high school,

9
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,025

1
00:00:02,736 --> 00:00:04,670
Johnny: Listen, I've gotta step
out for a bit,

2
00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:06,939
I told Stevie
if she needed any help...

3
00:00:06,974 --> 00:00:08,874
- Well, where are you off to?

4
00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:10,876
- To pick up the motel coasters.

5
00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:12,945
- Oh, you were serious.

6
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:14,713
- Yeah, custom coasters

7
00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,215
are a very effective
marketing tool.

8
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:17,716
- Says who?!

9
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,685
The guy who invented custom
beer cozies?

1
00:00:01,134 --> 00:00:03,168
John, do you have
the car keys?

2
00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:05,437
Do I have the car keys?
No. No.

3
00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:08,540
But according
to the sign-out sheet,

4
00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:11,076
I was the last person
to use the car.

5
00:00:11,111 --> 00:00:12,444
Well, that's not very
helpful, John.

6
00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:14,579
You're the only one using
the sign-out sheet.

7
00:00:14,614 --> 00:00:15,981
- Well, that's not true.

8
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,416
Stevie's got her name
on the sheet.

9

1
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:04,936
Family!
I have exciting news!

2
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:09,041
Oh Good. David,
I'd hoped you were home.

3
00:00:09,076 --> 00:00:10,475
- Thanks.

4
00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:12,210
You're aware of
the extraordinary work

5
00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:14,746
of New York-Based photographer
Sebastien Raine?

6
00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:18,350
- You mean my Ex?

7
00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:21,086
When did you date
Sebastien Raine?

8
00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:22,354
They dated for like
a month and a half

9
00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:24,423

1
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:08,040
Alexis, I just got an email
from your school.

2
00:00:08,075 --> 00:00:09,641
- Okay, in my defense,

3
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,276
I did not know he was
a substitute teacher,

4
00:00:11,311 --> 00:00:13,045
and basically,
nothing happened.

5
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,379
- Okay, well, that's not it,

6
00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:16,682
and please don't go down
that path again.

7
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:19,918
Apparently there's a lice
outbreak in your class.

8
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,954
- Oh my God!
- Ewww!

9
00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:24,189

1
00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:05,570
Johnny: Oh, Moira, kids...
this is so unnecessary.

2
00:00:05,605 --> 00:00:07,205
- What is it?

3
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:09,841
It's a gift from us
to your father.

4
00:00:09,876 --> 00:00:11,943
Okay. Yeah, I rather not
attach my name to a gift

5
00:00:11,978 --> 00:00:13,812
that I had no hand in selecting.

6
00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:16,648
Oh, God.

7
00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:20,285
- Oh my God.

8
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,087
Where'd you find this, honey?

9
00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:24,256
Well, Moira told me it was
down at the post office...

1
00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:05,904
- Alexis, I have a favour...
- Oh, great. Um...

2
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,506
I would love a ride to work.

3
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:09,441
I meant, I have a favour
to ask.

4
00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:11,143
You just said that
you have a favour.

5
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:12,611
As in, for me.

6
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:15,047
Well, who says that,
'I have a favour for you?'

7
00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:16,982
Okay. Are you saying that
you can't drive me to work?

8
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,051
- No, I can't.

9
00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:20,952
I need you to work