Santa Clarita Diet - Third Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:31,247 --> 00:00:33,583
Please. I'm just a farmer.

2
00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:34,909
I have done nothing.

3
00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:37,245
Is he well restrained?

4
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:38,621
Yes, Colonel.

5
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:40,248
Did you double check?

6
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:42,083
Yes, Colonel.

7
00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:49,174
I've been searching for you for so long.

8
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,886
You look so human.

9
00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:55,096
Please... I have a family.

10
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,265
Then we have something in common.

1
00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:41,142
Make sure the caterer brings
four kinds of sandwiches,

2
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:42,861
but they should only
charge us for three.

3
00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:44,646
I'm helping them with a rental property.

4
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:45,688
I have a question.

5
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:47,607
The chocolate fountain
will be here by nine.

6
00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:48,900
Did you...
Yes, five tiers.

7
00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,143
Did you...
Dark chocolate.

8
00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,612
Did you...
The gummy bear and pretzel package.

9
00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:54,155

1
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:18,600
Nice.

2
00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:21,229
Argh.

3
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:32,197
Nice.

4
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:33,824
Oh...

5
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,368
Somebody's ready for action.

6
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:38,997
It smells delicious in here.
Did you cut yourself?

7
00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:41,833
Just testing it. It works.

8
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,626
You brought Mr. Ball Legs home?

9
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:47,213
Yeah. I thought maybe a change
of scenery would cheer him up.

10
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,090

1
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,139
How's your tea?

2
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:16,390
Perfect.

3
00:00:17,222 --> 00:00:18,390
Do you like your gift?

4
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:25,191
It's beautiful.

5
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:27,444
Are you sure you want to give it away?

6
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:30,430
Of course. It's for you.
But I can't take credit.

7
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:33,283
It was like the Holy Spirit was just
flowing through me.

8
00:00:33,336 --> 00:00:36,119
About that... I was talking
to God yesterday.

9
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:37,216
Praise Him.

10

1
00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:15,640
Gary did a great job on this flyer.

2
00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:18,604
I love how the "M's" in Hammond
are like the roof of a house.

3
00:00:18,706 --> 00:00:20,478
Ah... So exciting.

4
00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:24,135
Our first open house as Hammond Realty.

5
00:00:24,175 --> 00:00:26,818
Oh! Maybe we should have a quickie
in the bonus room.

6
00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:28,361
No, there's not enough time.

7
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,697
Maybe after. But in the rain shower.

8
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:32,657
And at peace.
Hell, yeah.

9
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:36,103
Mmm... That looks so good.

10

1
00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:15,328
Come.

2
00:00:15,362 --> 00:00:17,767
Did I leave any
of my old People magazines in here?

3
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,491
Yeah, there should be
a couple over there.

4
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:22,280
If you're thinking of killing one
of the bachelors, I have some ideas.

5
00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:25,859
I've decided to volunteer
for Meals-on-Wheels.

6
00:00:26,134 --> 00:00:27,753
I'm looking for ways to do something

7
00:00:27,787 --> 00:00:29,819
positive, something
rewarding, something...

8
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,574
Hard pass.
I'm not asking you to do it with me.

9
00:00:32,657 --> 00:00:34,367

1
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,097
Any luck finding Ron?

2
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:17,809
Oh. You're eating cake right out
of the box. That's not a good sign.

3
00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:20,729
I could be celebrating a victory.
Are you?

4
00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,418
No. He's not at his apartment.

5
00:00:22,452 --> 00:00:24,682
He's not returning my calls.
He's very frustrating.

6
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:27,235
Although, this cake he left
us yesterday is exquisite.

7
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:29,446
There's a liqueur I can't figure out.

8
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,781
So what are you gonna do?
Amaretto.

9
00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:34,241
No.

1
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,515
Would you rather have
your nose be a foot long

2
00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:17,267
or your foot be a nose long?

3
00:00:17,521 --> 00:00:18,564
That is a good one.

4
00:00:18,650 --> 00:00:20,485
When are you going to
turn these into a book?

5
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,272
I told you, I will help
with the proposal.

6
00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:24,649
He's coming. Quick!

7
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,278
Oh! It arrived.

8
00:00:29,166 --> 00:00:30,167
Wonderful.

9
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,615
Is it assembled properly? Huh?

10

1
00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:12,898
You sure that's the right key?
I got it, I got it.

2
00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:21,604
I really hope this works
and I don't get arrested.

3
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:24,107
I have my interview with the MIT
admissions woman tomorrow,

4
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,359
and I really don't want her
to be my one phone call.

5
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,724
This will work. And you're gonna
crush that MIT interview.

6
00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:30,280
If you don't wear the bow tie.

7
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:32,824
I'm absolutely wearing the bow tie.
It's collegiate.

8
00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:34,284
Dress for the job you want.

9
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,536

1
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:15,265
Good morning, Ron.

2
00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:16,808
How was your breakfast?

3
00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:18,059
Delicious.

4
00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:22,647
Since I turned, I normally just eat
scrambled legs. Because, get it?

5
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:24,024
You gave him a knife?

6
00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:26,359
And a fork. It's how Ron prefers to eat.

7
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:29,988
Sheila is messy and sexy,
and I'm neat and petite.

8
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:32,323
We're all God's children, Joel.

9
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,034
Absolutely.

10
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:37,485