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Santa Clarita Diet - Second Season English Subtitles

 Santa Clarita Diet - Second Season

Series Info:

Released: 03 Feb 2017
Runtime: 30 min
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Director: N/A
Actors: Drew Barrymore, Timothy Olyphant, Liv Hewson, Skyler Gisondo
Country: USA
Rating: 7.8

Overview:

Sheila and Joel are married real estate agents in Santa Clarita, California. When Sheila dies, their lives take a dark turn.

Jun 24, 2020 12:35:01 Charvelx04 English 133

Release Name:

Santa Clarita Diet - Season 2 (NETFLIX)

Release Info:

Netflix version. Ripped directly from Netflix stream. Clean version. Fixed OCR issues, italics added for offscreen/TV/radio voices. 
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Jun 24, 2020 07:27:32 35.01KB Download Translate

1 00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:18,101 ♪ Imagine me and you, I do ♪ 2 00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:22,605 ♪ I think about you day and night It's only right ♪ 3 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:26,735 ♪ To think about the girl you love And hold her tight ♪ 4 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:30,030 ♪ So happy together ♪ 5 00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:34,409 ♪ If I should call you up, invest a dime ♪ 6 00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:38,538 ♪ And you say you belong to me And ease my mind ♪ 7 00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:42,709 ♪ Imagine how the world would be So very fine ♪ 8 00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:47,380 ♪ So happy together ♪ 9 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:52,218 ♪ I can't see me lovin' nobody but you ♪

Jun 24, 2020 07:27:32 47KB Download Translate

1 00:00:09,980 --> 00:00:13,150 That's it. If homicide detectives start looking into our missing people, 2 00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:14,410 we're done. 3 00:00:14,780 --> 00:00:18,030 Maybe we'll be okay. The storage units are under fake names 4 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:20,410 and we've started to kill outside of our friend circle. 5 00:00:20,490 --> 00:00:22,870 You're defrosting an elbow in our microwave. 6 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,420 We are terrible murderers! 7 00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:27,960 Well, maybe they'll be terrible detectives. 8 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:29,960 We wouldn't survive a terrible cleaning woman. 9 00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:32,340

Jun 24, 2020 07:27:32 39.04KB Download Translate

1 00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:17,976 Oh, good. You're awake. 2 00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:19,811 Honey, are you okay? 3 00:00:19,894 --> 00:00:21,938 You're breathing really fast, Mom. 4 00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:23,356 I know. 5 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:24,649 This is new. 6 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:27,652 Well, as you saw yesterday, I'm a little antsy. 7 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,256 Anyway, I didn't want you to wake up and find me gone and worry. 8 00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:33,283 I gotta go. 9 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:37,579 Go? Do you think that's a good idea? I don't. 10

Jun 24, 2020 07:27:32 38.17KB Download Translate

1 00:00:10,780 --> 00:00:12,570 Well, say something! What's happening? 2 00:00:12,650 --> 00:00:14,860 Oh, my God! 3 00:00:15,410 --> 00:00:16,740 He's still alive. 4 00:00:16,820 --> 00:00:20,290 Okay, confirm a theory I'm working on. 5 00:00:20,370 --> 00:00:22,830 Am I a severed head? 6 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,170 When you bit him, he must have turned. 7 00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:28,130 And we didn't kill his brain. We didn't know. 8 00:00:28,210 --> 00:00:29,550 Okay. So, that's a yes? 9 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:30,920 Fuck. 10 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:35,090 All this time, you've just been

Jun 24, 2020 07:27:32 35.41KB Download Translate

1 00:00:21,176 --> 00:00:22,176 Nice. 2 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,870 Oh, it is a good thing we moved Gary 3 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,500 because the geologist at the project site seems pretty sharp, 4 00:00:27,590 --> 00:00:29,470 and I think she would've noticed a talking head. 5 00:00:29,550 --> 00:00:33,670 I, too, have news. I've broken ground on our bookshelves. 6 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,050 Oh. 7 00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:45,480 Seems perfect. 8 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:47,860 And I got the last of the cherry wood at the lumber yard. 9 00:00:47,940 --> 00:00:50,620 Met a guy in the parking lot who offered to build them for 50 bucks,

Jun 24, 2020 07:27:32 40.95KB Download Translate

1 00:00:15,610 --> 00:00:18,240 Boone may be a Nazi, but he's very kind to birds. 2 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:21,040 Are you having second thoughts about killing him? 3 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,670 No, we're almost out of the Serb guy. And Boone idolizes Hitler. 4 00:00:24,750 --> 00:00:26,080 The Hitler. 5 00:00:26,670 --> 00:00:28,960 Gonna eat this bastard tits to teeth. 6 00:00:29,710 --> 00:00:31,630 "Tits to teeth?" It's an expression. 7 00:00:31,710 --> 00:00:34,510 It means to eat all of something. No, baby, not that I've heard. 8 00:00:34,590 --> 00:00:37,890 "Gums to thumbs"? Sure. 9 00:00:37,970 --> 00:00:40,060

Jun 24, 2020 07:27:32 37.57KB Download Translate

1 00:00:12,650 --> 00:00:15,990 Calzone, eggplant parm, mushroom pizza. No clams. 2 00:00:16,070 --> 00:00:18,330 Spaghetti, lasagne. No clams. 3 00:00:18,410 --> 00:00:21,120 Going through all these Japopo's receipts is making me hungry. 4 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:24,000 Can we go there tonight? They may have killed your mother, so no. 5 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:25,540 Also, the food's not great. 6 00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:30,090 Hey, if I ask you a boy question, will you promise not to be weird? 7 00:00:30,170 --> 00:00:32,550 I promise. There's this guy at school, Sven... 8 00:00:32,630 --> 00:00:33,630 You can do better. 9 00:00:35,260 --> 00:00:36,680 Okay, starting now.

Jun 24, 2020 07:27:32 40.64KB Download Translate

1 00:00:12,030 --> 00:00:15,070 You bit your finger off? What problem was that solving? 2 00:00:15,660 --> 00:00:17,030 Obviously, it was an accident. 3 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:19,330 How do you accidentally bite off an appendage? 4 00:00:19,410 --> 00:00:22,460 Because I was trying to keep my shit together around Carl, 5 00:00:22,540 --> 00:00:24,210 who I didn't kill, by the way. 6 00:00:26,380 --> 00:00:27,960 No credit there. Fine. 7 00:00:28,540 --> 00:00:31,170 I was biting my nails. Then all of a sudden, crunch. 8 00:00:31,260 --> 00:00:32,590 Jesus Christ. 9 00:00:32,670 --> 00:00:35,090 You're stress-eating yourself. Did anyone see you?

Jun 24, 2020 07:27:32 38.17KB Download Translate

1 00:00:12,150 --> 00:00:16,570 Oh, my God! Is that Carl's heart? Did you kill Carl? 2 00:00:17,030 --> 00:00:19,660 I don't know. Maybe? How could you not know? 3 00:00:20,290 --> 00:00:21,790 I saw him in the parking lot 4 00:00:21,870 --> 00:00:24,670 and he was yelling at me and then I woke up here. 5 00:00:24,750 --> 00:00:26,540 It must be some kind of a blackout. 6 00:00:26,630 --> 00:00:29,920 You have no memory of what happened? No. Nothing. 7 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,090 Okay. Maybe that's not a human heart. 8 00:00:32,170 --> 00:00:36,340 Maybe that's an animal heart. That would be so great and totally legal. 9 00:00:38,470 --> 00:00:41,390 Definitely human.

Jun 24, 2020 07:27:32 39.32KB Download Translate

1 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:36,720 Hmm. 2 00:00:38,350 --> 00:00:40,140 Hello. Hi there. 3 00:00:40,890 --> 00:00:44,520 Is this Ruby's Clams? Yeah, and I'm Ruby. 4 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:48,810 Oh, good morning, I'm Irving Zweeben. I got your address from Japopo's. 5 00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:51,980 Are you a clam distributor? Well, I'm trying to be. 6 00:00:52,070 --> 00:00:55,030 It's a mom-and-pop operation, minus the pop. 7 00:00:55,110 --> 00:00:57,620 Got a shit ton of snap and crackle, though. 8 00:00:59,530 --> 00:01:00,700 What's your story, Irv? 9 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:04,330