Rick and Morty - Second Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,335
[VACUUM RUNNING]

2
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:14,681
Hurry up, Morty.

3
00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:16,347
Grandpa's about
to un-freeze time.

4
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,595
You really should be cleaning
from top to bottom.

5
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,518
I know how to vacuum mom
and dad, Summer.

6
00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,186
I've been doing it
for six months.

7
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:24,684
Then you've been doing it
wrong for six months.

8
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,482
Oh, my god, is that mildew?

9
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,650
It's not my fault we froze

1
00:00:01,126 --> 00:00:03,037
RICK:
Learning to fly this thing, Morty,

2
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:04,147
is gonna be really liberating.

3
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:05,582
You know, you're gonna be free

4
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,067
to go on all kinds of errands for me.
-Cool.

5
00:00:07,091 --> 00:00:08,252
See that planet right there?

6
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,878
Don't fly too close
to that planet.

7
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:11,404
Someone will come out and
try to wash your windshield.

8
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,543
[RINGTONE PLAYS]

9
00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,424
Hold on.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS]

1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:03,038
ALL:
♪ Love ♪

2
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:04,744
♪ Connection ♪

3
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,829
♪ Experience ♪

4
00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:08,631
Yeah, Morty.

5
00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:10,958
♪ Come together ♪

6
00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:14,091
♪ With love, connection,
and experience ♪

7
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,343
-It's my favorite song.
-[LAUGHING] Oh, yeah.

8
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:19,642
-[ALARM BEEPS]
-Oh, yeah, distress beacon!

9
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:20,889
[BELCHES]
Yeah, baby!

1
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,246
Steve,
I just got a weird e-mail.

2
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:07,922
Did you buy us airline tickets?

3
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,874
Aw, shoot. It was supposed
to be a surprise.

4
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:11,345
I wanted to thank you

5
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,822
for letting me live here
all this time,

6
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,587
so I'm treating the family
to a vacation!

7
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:15,888
Steve, you're so sweet.

8
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,840
-Thanks, Uncle Steve!
-Best Uncle ever.

9
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,300
Look out, world.

1
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,347
[THUNDER CRASHES]

2
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:16,388
Hey, golf is easy now!

3
00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:19,217
Aah! Golf is hard again!
Golf is hard again!

4
00:00:19,311 --> 00:00:21,348
The view from here
is the same as yours, Jim.

5
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,520
A giant head
has entered Earth's gravity,

6
00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:25,644
triggering climate change
and natural disasters

7
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:28,647
we thought were impossible for
at least another eight years.

8
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,239
Let's not
make this political, Terry.

9
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,529

1
00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:04,230
Geez, I can't believe we found
a version of Earth

2
00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:06,507
with a "Ball Fondlers"
movie franchise.

3
00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:09,628
I can't believe the things
this reality considers PG-13.

4
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:12,380
-Yeah, I'm pretty jealous.
-Don't be, Morty.

5
00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:15,304
There's pros and cons
to every alternate timeline.

6
00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:16,552
Fun facts about this one...

7
00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:18,053
It's got giant,
telepathic spiders,

8
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,395
11 9/11s,

9
00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:21,469

1
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:03,747
What's new at school?

2
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:05,373
-Nothing.
-Nothing!

3
00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:07,375
Oh, uh, one
of the lunch ladies died.

4
00:00:07,466 --> 00:00:09,444
They found her in the gym with,
like, two holes in her neck

5
00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:11,129
and all the blood drained
out of her.

6
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,961
Good lord! Who does
something like that?

7
00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:15,422
Obviously a vampire.
W-W-Where's the pepper?

8
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,257
Wait, what?!
Vampires are real?!

9

1
00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:04,331
[DOOR BEEPS]

2
00:00:04,421 --> 00:00:06,332
Don't worry about Jerry.
He's gonna be fine.

3
00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:08,585
You hear me, Jerry?
You're gonna be fine.

4
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,258
-Whoa!
-Ooh, watch out for that stuff.

5
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:11,926
It'll stain
if it gets on your clothes,

6
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,594
and it'll send you
into a murderous rage

7
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,263
if it gets
in your eyes or mouth.

8
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,931
Why would you keep
mutant bacteria

9

1
00:00:01,293 --> 00:00:03,671
MORTY: I gotta tell you, Rick.
It's pretty great...

2
00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:05,857
to be in this spaceship,
just the two of us, you know?

3
00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,561
Just cruising around,
Rick and Morty style.

4
00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:09,002
I agree, Morty.
[BELCHES]

5
00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:10,504
It's nice to get
back to the basics

6
00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:12,335
after a pretty intense,
mixed-bag of a year.

7
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:13,464
-Ohh!
-Relax.

8
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,137
That's what windshields are for.

9

1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,372
JERRY: The trick to cereal is
keeping 70% above the milk.

2
00:00:04,463 --> 00:00:07,125
Jerry, get a job.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

3
00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,752
Uh, w-why
don't you get it, Jerry?

4
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,425
You're the man of the house,
and you don't have a job.

5
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,219
[SIGHS]

6
00:00:13,305 --> 00:00:14,682
Delivery for Rick.

7
00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:16,343
Morning, Summer, Beth,
and Jerry.

8
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:19,050
-Gross. What is that thing?
-It's a courier flap.

9
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,538