Rick and Morty - Second Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:14,681
Hurry up, Morty.

2
00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:16,349
Grandpa's about
to un-freeze time.

3
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,601
You really should be cleaning
from top to bottom.

4
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,520
I know how to vacuum mom
and dad, Summer.

5
00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,188
I've been doing it
for six months.

6
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:24,691
Then you've been doing it
wrong for six months.

7
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,484
Oh, my god, is that mildew?

8
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,653
It's not my fault we froze
time on a humid day.

9
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:31,823

1
00:00:01,126 --> 00:00:03,044
Learning to fly this thing, Morty,

2
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:04,087
is gonna be really liberating.

3
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:05,588
You know, you're gonna be free

4
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,006
to go on all kinds of errands for me.
Cool.

5
00:00:07,091 --> 00:00:08,257
See that planet right there?

6
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,884
Don't fly too close
to that planet.

7
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:11,344
Someone will come out and
try to wash your windshield.

8
00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,430
Hold on.

9
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,890
Yeah? Yeah, I have it.

10

1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:03,044
# Love #

2
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:04,754
# Connection #

3
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,839
# Experience #

4
00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:08,633
Yeah, Morty.

5
00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:10,968
# Come together #

6
00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:14,097
# With love, connection,
and experience #

7
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,349
- It's my favorite song.
- Oh, yeah.

8
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:19,644
Oh, yeah, distress beacon!

9
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:20,895
Yeah, baby!

10
00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,355

1
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,255
Steve,
I just got a weird e-mail.

2
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:07,924
Did you buy us airline tickets?

3
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,884
Aw, shoot. It was supposed
to be a surprise.

4
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:11,344
I wanted to thank you

5
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,762
for letting me live here
all this time,

6
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,597
so I'm treating the family
to a vacation!

7
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:15,890
Steve, you're so sweet.

8
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,850
- Thanks, Uncle Steve!
- Best Uncle ever.

9
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,310
Look out, world.

1
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:16,391
Hey, golf is easy now!

2
00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:19,227
Aah! Golf is hard again!
Golf is hard again!

3
00:00:19,311 --> 00:00:21,354
The view from here
is the same as yours, Jim.

4
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,523
A giant head
has entered Earth's gravity,

5
00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:25,650
triggering climate change
and natural disasters

6
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:28,653
we thought were impossible for
at least another eight years.

7
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,238
Let's not
make this political, Terry.

8
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,532
Do we know
what this giant head wants?

9

1
00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:04,170
Geez, I can't believe we found
a version of Earth

2
00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:06,506
with a "Ball Fondlers"
movie franchise.

3
00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:09,634
I can't believe the things
this reality considers PG-13.

4
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:12,387
- Yeah, I-I'm pretty jealous.
- Don't be, Morty.

5
00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:15,306
There's pros and cons
to every alternate timeline.

6
00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:16,557
Fun facts about this one...

7
00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:18,059
It's got giant,
telepathic spiders,

8
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,394
119/11s,

9
00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:21,479

1
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:03,753
What's new at school?

2
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:05,380
- Nothing.
- Nothing!

3
00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:07,382
Oh, uh, one
of the lunch ladies died.

4
00:00:07,466 --> 00:00:09,384
They found her in the gym with,
like, two holes in her neck

5
00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:11,135
and all the blood drained
out of her.

6
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,970
Good lord! Who does
something like that?

7
00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:15,431
Obviously a vampire.
W-W-Where's the pepper?

8
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,266
Wait, what?! Vampires are real?!

9
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:20,228

1
00:00:04,421 --> 00:00:06,339
Don't worry about Jerry.
He's gonna be fine.

2
00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:08,591
You hear me, Jerry?
You're gonna be fine.

3
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,259
- Whoa!
- Ooh, watch out for that stuff.

4
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:11,928
It'll stain
if it gets on your clothes,

5
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,596
and it'll send you
into a murderous rage

6
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,264
if it gets
in your eyes or mouth.

7
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,933
Why would you keep
mutant bacteria

8
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,601
in a pint of Cherry Garcia?

9

1
00:00:01,293 --> 00:00:03,670
I gotta tell you, Rick.
It's pretty great...

2
00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:05,797
to be in this spaceship,
just the two of us, you know?

3
00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,507
Just cruising around,
Rick and Morty style.

4
00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:09,008
I agree, Morty.

5
00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:10,510
It's nice to get
back to the basics

6
00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:12,345
after a pretty intense,
mixed-bag of a year.

7
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:13,471
- Ohh!
- Relax.

8
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,139
That's what windshields are for.

9
00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:17,100

1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,379
The trick to cereal is
keeping 70% above the milk.

2
00:00:04,463 --> 00:00:07,131
Jerry, get a job.

3
00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,758
Uh, w-why
don't you get it, Jerry?

4
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,427
You're the man of the house,
and you don't have a job.

5
00:00:13,305 --> 00:00:14,681
Delivery for Rick.

6
00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:16,349
Morning, Summer, Beth,
and Jerry.

7
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:19,060
- Gross. What is that thing?
- It's a courier flap.

8
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,478
It's like the intergalactic
version of UPS,

9
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,063