Rick and Morty - Fifth Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:09,591
Come on, Rick. We're almost there.

2
00:00:09,675 --> 00:00:11,802
Leave me, Morty.
It's the only way.

3
00:00:12,386 --> 00:00:14,430
Wha... Were... Wha... Were we...

4
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:16,557
Were we Blades in that one?
That's fucking tight.

5
00:00:16,641 --> 00:00:18,100
Just stay with me.

6
00:00:18,726 --> 00:00:20,876
I'm... I'm scared, Morty.
I can see the end.

7
00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:24,898
I'm a silly man. I'm a silly, small man.

8
00:00:24,982 --> 00:00:26,650
I'm... I'm sorry I got you into this.

9
00:00:26,734 --> 00:00:28,861
Then how about I get us out of this?

10

1
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:10,217
- You two are hungry.
- It's a big day.

2
00:00:10,301 --> 00:00:11,718
- We're gonna kill God.
- Come again?

3
00:00:11,802 --> 00:00:14,012
Christian God is real,
been asleep for thousands of years.

4
00:00:14,096 --> 00:00:15,889
- We're gonna sneak up and kill him.
- Mob style.

5
00:00:15,973 --> 00:00:17,349
- Whack his ass.
- Can I kill God?

6
00:00:17,433 --> 00:00:18,392
- Fuck off.
- As if.

7
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:19,393
Beth, do you hear this?

8
00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:22,146
Sweetie, don't get all worked up
before your job interview.

9

1
00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:09,716
Ah, I love that new T-shirt smell.

2
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:11,260
Chicks are gonna be all up in our biz

3
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:13,429
when they see us wearing these
Rick and Morty custom tees.

4
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:14,555
I bet we could sell these.

5
00:00:14,639 --> 00:00:16,765
Hells, yeah. I fucking love merch!

6
00:00:16,849 --> 00:00:18,308
- The rain! It... It burns!
- Oh, shit.

7
00:00:18,392 --> 00:00:19,768
Quick, Morty, protect the shirts!

8
00:00:19,852 --> 00:00:22,062
The door! Open the door! Rick!

9
00:00:22,146 --> 00:00:23,939
Is it... Morty, will you stop trying to...

10
00:00:24,023 --> 00:00:25,607

1
00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:09,967
Mom! We're gonna miss the movie!

2
00:00:10,051 --> 00:00:12,386
- No, we're not.
- Okay, but we've been here for hours.

3
00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:14,721
I don't want to hang out
at the stupid horse hospital.

4
00:00:14,805 --> 00:00:17,182
The stupid horse hospital
puts dinner on your table.

5
00:00:17,266 --> 00:00:19,393
It wouldn't kill you to take an interest.

6
00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:22,646
What's this thing?

7
00:00:22,730 --> 00:00:24,940
In the middle of the room
with the hole in the end?

8
00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:27,568
That's a breeding mount.
The nurses use it to collect.

9
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,529
Reproductive material.

1
00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:10,259
Jerry, can you watch the kids tonight?

2
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:12,428
Someone played Barry White
over the racetrack speakers,

3
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,638
- and now there's a seven-horse pregnancy.
- Oh, um...

4
00:00:14,722 --> 00:00:17,099
No, he can't watch the kids,
it's guys' night.

5
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:18,892
How did you two start having guys' nights?

6
00:00:18,976 --> 00:00:21,353
So now, you're complaining
that I like your stupid husband?

7
00:00:21,437 --> 00:00:23,522
No, I want you to like my stupid husband.

8
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,232
- Aw.
- Well, then accept that Friday nights

9
00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:26,650
are all about Rick and Jerry.

1
00:00:14,472 --> 00:00:16,432
Are we gonna put it back
when we're done with it?

2
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:18,892
Why? The only thing of value on it
is the secret treasure map.

3
00:00:18,976 --> 00:00:20,978
The rest is just instructions
for running a country.

4
00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:23,480
- I'm pretty sure they're online.
- It just feels a little wrong.

5
00:00:23,564 --> 00:00:25,399
Morty,
are you gonna be a fucking America nerd

6
00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:28,683
or are you gonna be cool
and steal the Constitution with Grandpa?

7
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:35,072
- Here, hold this while I crack the hermetic seal.
- Why not just use this again?

8
00:00:41,999 --> 00:00:43,667
Morty! You just destroyed the map

9

1
00:00:07,089 --> 00:00:10,008
♪ Boob World, Boob World ♪

2
00:00:10,092 --> 00:00:11,844
♪ It's a world for you ♪

3
00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:16,473
♪ But it's actually two
Boob World ♪

4
00:00:16,557 --> 00:00:18,767
I gotta say, Morty,
it's weird that you wanted me to come,

5
00:00:18,851 --> 00:00:21,937
but I'm actually exstyched about it.
That's excited, stoked, and psyched.

6
00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:24,356
- I didn't want you to come. Talk to Rick.
- Truth is, Summer,

7
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:27,943
Boob World's been at the center
of a few protests every day for 30 years,

8
00:00:28,027 --> 00:00:30,779
so they've recently rebranded
as a Boob Empowerment Experience,

9
00:00:30,863 --> 00:00:32,614

1
00:00:07,423 --> 00:00:08,507
No parties.

2
00:00:08,591 --> 00:00:11,135
There's cookies in the cupboard,
emergency numbers on the fridge.

3
00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:12,511
Yeah, yeah. Wait, what?

4
00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:15,055
Emergency numbers on the fridge?
What does that even mean?

5
00:00:15,139 --> 00:00:16,598
Honestly, I don't even know.

6
00:00:16,682 --> 00:00:19,017
I've seen so many movies
that start with the parents leaving,

7
00:00:19,101 --> 00:00:21,895
it popped out of my mouth. Are you
sure you don't want to come with us?

8
00:00:21,979 --> 00:00:25,190
- No. I've got a million things I've been putting off.
- Are you sure, Rick?

9
00:00:25,274 --> 00:00:27,526
I know a cruise doesn't sound like

1
00:00:08,716 --> 00:00:11,760
It came as a shock to many,
but with the power vacuum left

2
00:00:11,844 --> 00:00:13,637
by the heartless consumption
of our dictator,

3
00:00:13,721 --> 00:00:16,056
we shall impose even more
Draconian cookie law,

4
00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:17,642
one be-cookieing at a time!

5
00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:24,898
Oh, thank you! They took power immediately
after you and your grandpa left.

6
00:00:24,982 --> 00:00:26,567
Uh, sorry about that.

7
00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:29,027
Rick doesn't do transition plans.
I think he was just hungry.

8
00:00:29,111 --> 00:00:33,740
Well, now with you here, perhaps
a new system of government, King Morty?

9
00:00:33,824 --> 00:00:37,474

1
00:00:14,931 --> 00:00:16,516
It's the Crow Man!

2
00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:25,981
Give it a second.
Maybe he's taking it out to surrender.

3
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:36,535
He's anti-heroic! Run!

4
00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:38,537
I don't understand.

5
00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:39,955
He's only one man.

6
00:00:40,039 --> 00:00:41,874
With the power of a thousand crows.

7
00:00:46,879 --> 00:00:47,964
Good luck.

8
00:00:49,131 --> 00:00:51,550
Crows and owls have always been at war.

9
00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:52,759
But why do you care?

10
00:00:52,843 --> 00:00:54,971
- What's the point?