Momma Named Me Sheriff - First Season English Subtitles

1
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Take your show on the road,
as there's a new show in town,

2
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starring me, Sheriff.

3
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:14,000
Yo, Sheriff! We got an 8-21, robbery.

4
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Dispatch, stop that robbery.
I'm playing Sheriff.

5
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,520
How about stop playing
and be Sheriff?

6
00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:23,480
- I'm not your damn deputy.
- A deputy'd be nice.

7
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:25,920
But it's hard to find a good man.

8
00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:30,880
Goodman! Get back up there and
sell these baby bottle battle-axes!

9
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,680
No! I quit!

1
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La-la-la-la-la!
Hey, what's up, buddy?

2
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- Hey, Tommy.
- Hi, Sheriff.

3
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Morning, Miss Dorothy. La-la...

4
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- Hello, Sheriff.
- Mrs. Gathimplewattir.

5
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:18,400
Here to finally confess
to stealing my sandwich?

6
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,760
For the last time,
I didn't steal your sandwich.

7
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It's been so long since third grade.
Let it go.

8
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Well, if you're not here to admit
that, then why are you here?

9

1
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- So, what's up, Goodman?
- What do you mean, Sheriff?

2
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What's up?
What are we talking about?

3
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What's the word, what's happening,
my dude? What's up? Shup?

4
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I don't know.
Just sitting in this cruiser.

5
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Alright.
Just trying to make conversation.

6
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:27,200
Just trying to get to know you
a teeny bit better is all.

7
00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:40,120
- So, you do anything this weekend?
- Nope!

8
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Crimin' round town
Stealin' and killin's how I get down.

1
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Goodman!
Make some sales or you're fired!

2
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You know you're not my boss now,
Boss. What is your real name anyway?

3
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Boss! Now whaddaya want,
Deputy Lame-man?

4
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You're in violation of code 8357.
Trash bins too far from the curb.

5
00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:26,920
Deputy Goodman speaking.

6
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- Hi. Do you wanna buy a Saw Lamp?
- No thanks, Floyd.

7
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This Saw Lamp looks pretty dangerous,
I'm not sure you should be selling...

8
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:44,760
Crimin' round town
Stealin' and killin's how I get down.

9

1
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Welcome back to Ask an Astronaut
with Captain Stevens.

2
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Hi. Is Pluto not a planet
because it's just a small rock?

3
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No, it's a dwarf planet. Okay?

4
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- Okay.
- Right, last question.

5
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Hi. I'm Tommy. And my question is,
you missed a belt loop.

6
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That's not even a question.
These kids are stupid...

7
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Oh, well,
I guess I did miss a belt loop.

8
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No!

9
00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:35,560

1
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- Goodnight.
- Man, you lucky

2
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you ain't gotta work the night shift!

3
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Or watch the night shift.

4
00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:11,360
- Go back to sleep, Hank.
- Okay.

5
00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:14,480
Hey, Goodman, what TV show
you gonna watch at home?

6
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,560
- I don't watch TV.
- What?

7
00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,560
But there's so many shows!

8
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- Yeah, like Nannies with Fat Fannies.
- Deadbeat Shark Dads.

9
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- Buns 'n' Guns.

1
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Morning, Abigail. Wait a minute!
What day is it today?

2
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"It's Sunday, Sheriff!"

3
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Sunday? That's the day when I...

4
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Clean up my room
So I can get a treat.

5
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From Sunday Man
He comes once a week.

6
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If I put up my toys and not be a slob

7
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I'll get an ice cream sundae
With a cherry on top.

8
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SUNDAY MAN

9
00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,880
Yo, why we gotta work today?
It's Sunday, man.

1
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Previously on
Momma Named Me Sheriff...

2
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Hello?

3
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Stop calling here, wolf! I'm not
gonna have sex with you again!

4
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Abigail! I'm scared. Hold me.
Abigail?

5
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Listen up! Abigail's gone missing!

6
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Search every house, doll house,
and doll apartment in Old Town!

7
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Dribble, dribble, dribble.
By my calculations,

8
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:32,360
my best chance to beat your sorry ass
is a three-point sho...

9
00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:35,480

1
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Mr. President, King of England.

2
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- Hello!
- King! How the heck are you?

3
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It's been weeks, and you still
have not returned my pen!

4
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Right. I'll get it to you soon.

5
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- When is soon?
- Soon!

6
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- When will that be? Wait, my pen...
- I gotta go!

7
00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:20,680
Every day,
the same ol' "Give me, give me."

8
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The king wants his pen back. China's
president wants his socks back.

9
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