Modern Family - Tenth Season English Subtitles

1
00:00:02,902 --> 00:00:03,891
(DOG PANTING)

2
00:00:05,238 --> 00:00:08,696
Oh, no. Has it been a year already?

3
00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:11,676
(SINGING) You're a grand old flag
You're a high flying-flag

4
00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:14,779
And forever in peace, may you wave!

5
00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:18,684
- We love the Fourth of July!
- It's the perfect holiday.

6
00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:22,279
You get to cook outside,
blow stuff up, wear shorts.

7
00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:24,016
Easter should be taking notes.

8
00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:27,287
(BOTH SINGING)
Keep your eyes on the ground, old flag!

9
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,957
That was longer than I remember.

1
00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:02,090
- One, two, three.
- (SCREAMS EX CITEDLY)

2
00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:05,898
Hey, guys, we're here.

3
00:00:06,106 --> 00:00:07,539
Welcome!

4
00:00:07,774 --> 00:00:10,242
Pool's cool, snacks in the kitchen,
I've had some rosé,

5
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:12,334
so Fun Mitchell is in the house.

6
00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:15,074
Showing quite a bit of leg.
This is very...

7
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:16,876
- World Cup-y.
- Ah!

8
00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:18,414
JAY: There they are,

9
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:21,078
my adult children still sponging off me

1
00:00:01,201 --> 00:00:03,260
Every afternoon,
I've been going to Luke's campus

2
00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:05,201
to help him train for rugby try-outs.

3
00:00:05,438 --> 00:00:07,838
What do you say we practice
that lineout lift one last time?

4
00:00:07,907 --> 00:00:09,340
- And...
- I gotta go.

5
00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:10,933
I don't want to be late
for Women's Studies.

6
00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:12,341
That's what I call my lunch break.

7
00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:14,846
All right. Good luck at try-outs!

8
00:00:15,448 --> 00:00:16,676
The other day,

9
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:20,117
something pretty interesting
caught my eye.

1
00:00:05,038 --> 00:00:07,563
- Dylan?
- Oh, Mr. D? You jog here, too?

2
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,437
I'm a half a block from my house.

3
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:11,677
- Are you wearing boots?
- Okay.

4
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:14,043
This is less of a coincidence
than it seems.

5
00:00:14,114 --> 00:00:17,709
I've been following you around
for a few days. It's about Haley.

6
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:21,545
I know she's in a relationship,
but I love her and I think she loves me.

7
00:00:21,621 --> 00:00:24,715
Dylan, I heard about what happened.
I wouldn't read too much into it.

8
00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:26,053
It was only one kiss.

9
00:00:26,459 --> 00:00:30,190

1
00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:03,861
PHILIP: Okay, honey.
Doorbell's installed. How does it sound?

2
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:06,770
SCARY MALE VOICE: (OVER DOORBELL)
Welcome to hell. (LAUGHS EERILY)

3
00:00:06,906 --> 00:00:08,601
That is so cute!

4
00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:10,767
Could you come in here
and help me with this web?

5
00:00:10,877 --> 00:00:12,606
Sorry. Gotta fly.

6
00:00:12,712 --> 00:00:14,703
I'm gonna do that one again
when there's more people around.

7
00:00:14,781 --> 00:00:16,840
Okay. So, you gotta put that
up on the hook

8
00:00:16,916 --> 00:00:19,350
because the trick-or-treaters
are gonna be here any minute.

9
00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:20,443

1
00:00:05,038 --> 00:00:07,939
I don't remember
buying these fresh peaches.

2
00:00:08,108 --> 00:00:09,405
- (GASPS)
- Ahh!

3
00:00:09,542 --> 00:00:11,066
Apologies, Serge.

4
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:13,737
My wife Claire seems to have forgotten
I'm holding office hours

5
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,281
for my Intro to Real Estate class
here at home.

6
00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:19,442
So, when I walked to the laundry room
10 minutes ago in my bra...

7
00:00:19,552 --> 00:00:20,849
That was kind of perfect, actually.

8
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:22,410
I had just made a point
about how buildings

9
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,888

1
00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:03,057
(CAM SCREAMS)

2
00:00:03,870 --> 00:00:05,565
Oh, Mitchell! Are you awake?

3
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:08,505
Yeah. I think the lady upstairs
just screamed. Should we check on her?

4
00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:12,011
No, that was me. Something terrible
just happened in the shower.

5
00:00:12,078 --> 00:00:13,909
Oh, God. What did you try to shave?

6
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:17,074
No, I forgot the words
to Thank God I'm a Country Boy.

7
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:20,118
Okay. Two minutes ago I was on the back
of a snowmobile with Daniel Craig.

8
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:22,552
Mitchell, I sang that song
my entire childhood.

9
00:00:22,622 --> 00:00:24,249
If I can't remember the lyrics,

1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,225
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

2
00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:05,663
Why aren't you talking?
Are you mad at me?

3
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:08,066
No. I'm freaked because
I just found out that I'm pregnant.

4
00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:09,766
And yes, I am a little mad at you.

5
00:00:09,876 --> 00:00:11,002
Because this is serious

6
00:00:11,077 --> 00:00:12,510
and the only thing
that you can think about

7
00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:14,604
is combining our names
into the perfect baby name.

8
00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:16,875
Well, now we know
it's either Hayden or Dyley.

9
00:00:17,917 --> 00:00:20,078
Look, this is a beautiful thing.

1
00:00:01,368 --> 00:00:02,733
- What the hell?
- (VEHICLE APPROACHING)

2
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:05,327
Oh, my God, he brought Mom's old car?

3
00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:06,895
JAY: You know,
that thing was perfect for DeDe.

4
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:10,704
Loud, pulled way to the left,
and constantly broke down in public.

5
00:00:11,378 --> 00:00:14,006
My ex-wife DeDe died two months ago

6
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:17,914
and her husband Jerry drove down with
a bunch of junk she wanted us to have.

7
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,246
I always liked Jerry.

8
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,684
Then why did you always
look at him funny?

9
00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:23,552
'Cause I knew what he was in for.

1
00:00:03,436 --> 00:00:05,028
Merry Christmas Eve, Alex.

2
00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:06,595
So, he's still alive,

3
00:00:06,706 --> 00:00:09,368
must mean you haven't told Mom
you're pregnant yet.

4
00:00:09,442 --> 00:00:12,036
We want to be careful to do it right.

5
00:00:12,112 --> 00:00:15,275
Now? You're being careful?
I can't keep this secret anymore.

6
00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:16,508
- Look at me.
- (HALEY GASPS)

7
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,217
Ugh. She's going gray.

8
00:00:18,284 --> 00:00:21,253
Oh, my God, she is.
I was just gasping at the haircut.

9
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:24,790
Apparently, this is what happens
when I feel stress now.

1
00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:06,161
Hey, you guys. I packed up
some dishes for the new house.

2
00:00:06,239 --> 00:00:09,265
I even found your old sippy cup
for when the little one comes along.

3
00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:11,435
- Thanks, Mr. D.
- Aw, thanks, Dad.

4
00:00:11,544 --> 00:00:13,944
Is Mom still in there
making that judge-y face?

5
00:00:14,047 --> 00:00:17,210
Haley, you've known her for 25 years.
Just call it her face.

6
00:00:17,450 --> 00:00:19,680
Haley's pregnancy's
off to a rough start.

7
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:22,449
Nausea, moodiness, trouble sleeping...

8
00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:23,954
Claire's got it all.

9
00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:27,925

1
00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:07,404
(PHILIP SPEAKING ITALIAN)

2
00:00:07,707 --> 00:00:10,437
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

3
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:23,684
We're taking a four-week bicycle trip
through the vineyards of Italy.

4
00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,019
We figure that this summer,

5
00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:27,355
our whole lives
are going to be turned upside down

6
00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:30,692
when Haley, Dylan,
and their twins move in with us,

7
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:34,029
so why not splurge on a grand babymoon?

8
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:35,624
So we've been hitting
the language tapes,

9
00:00:35,735 --> 00:00:37,760
the, uh, stationary bikes,

1
00:00:02,235 --> 00:00:05,727
Welcome. Most of you know me
as Acting Vice Principal Tucker,

2
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:10,936
but today,
I am your guide to the future.

3
00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:12,602
(AS IF ECHOING)
The future, the future...

4
00:00:12,712 --> 00:00:14,737
Okay, so you didn't take
my note on the echo.

5
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,112
Mitchell, I can't take
another negative voice in my head.

6
00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:19,412
I'm already freaking out
about Principal Brown.

7
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,179
I kind of have a bully at school.

8
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:24,720
You gonna eat all that?

9
00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:26,952

1
00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:03,562
The vet called.

2
00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:07,401
Stella's test results came back.
He wants me to bring her in.

3
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:11,541
- Today.
- Oh, no. Come here, you.

4
00:00:11,611 --> 00:00:13,374
Aw, Jay, I'm so sorry.

5
00:00:13,446 --> 00:00:17,007
That is the bad thing
about loving animals, right?

6
00:00:17,450 --> 00:00:21,113
But think about all
the wonderful things you gave her.

7
00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:26,352
Like a beautiful home,
delicious food, our marital bed.

8
00:00:26,459 --> 00:00:28,120
I'm sorry, Jay.

9
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:30,890
Stella will not be forgotten.

1
00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:04,366
(SINGING) Oh, Super Bowl

2
00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:08,100
The plays, the plays, they're calling

3
00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:12,368
From end to end and...

4
00:00:12,445 --> 00:00:13,434
Oh!

5
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:14,669
GLORIA: What happened?

6
00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:17,512
Do I call the nine
and the one and the other one?

7
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:20,519
Why is my fridge filled
with non-football related foods

8
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:21,781
on Super Bowl Sunday?

9
00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:23,719
There's no room
for my Jerry Rice pudding.

10

1
00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:03,226
(CELL PHONE CHIMING)

2
00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:05,562
(PHILIP SHUSHES)

3
00:00:06,539 --> 00:00:08,439
Do you hear that? I can't find my phone.

4
00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:10,402
I think it's coming from the fruit bowl.

5
00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:12,102
(CELL PHONE CONTINUES CHIMING)

6
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:15,773
Oh, no.

7
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,715
I've been doing sleep magic again.

8
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:24,880
You look like you haven't slept at all.

9
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:28,086
Maybe an hour or two a night.
I've tried everything.

10
00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:30,623
Warm shower before bed, meditation,

1
00:00:02,602 --> 00:00:05,332
Okay, folks, you might want
to put on some sunscreen.

2
00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:07,498
Up this high,
the trees start to thin out.

3
00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:09,405
Oh, this might be
a good place for a picture.

4
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,167
Oh, let me go behind that rock.
I'll change into my next look.

5
00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:13,906
- Another one?
- He has to.

6
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,414
- His Instagram follower demands it.
- Eagle!

7
00:00:16,783 --> 00:00:19,377
Oh, wait, false alarm.
It's just a plastic bag in a tree.

8
00:00:19,452 --> 00:00:21,283
Eagle! No, sorry.

9

1
00:00:04,070 --> 00:00:05,731
(SIGHS) I'm beat.
Can you turn off the light?

2
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,864
Yeah. Just give me a second.

3
00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:13,277
- Five, four, three, two, one.
- (MITCHELL SWITCHES LIGHT OFF)

4
00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:15,405
You missed our anniversary.

5
00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:18,574
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

6
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,467
That's pretty good.

7
00:00:38,738 --> 00:00:40,433
(COUGHS) Uh-oh.

8
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:42,397
Oh, no.

9
00:00:43,309 --> 00:00:45,470
(GROANING AND COUGHING)

10
00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:51,379

1
00:00:04,871 --> 00:00:05,997
- (OBJECTS CLATTERING)
- Shh!

2
00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:07,061
You'll wake Lily.

3
00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:08,162
(WHISPERING) How drunk are you?

4
00:00:08,241 --> 00:00:10,232
I told you three times,
she's on that school trip.

5
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:12,072
I'd feel more confident
if you weren't also whispering.

6
00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:14,408
- Fair point.
- Are you wearing lipstick?

7
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:16,004
Am I wearing nail polish?

8
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,178
So, we kind of had a crazy night out.

9
00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:23,052
It started off at this little
under-the-radar speakeasy I heard about.

1
00:00:01,034 --> 00:00:03,025
(EXHALES DEEPLY AND GROANS)

2
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:07,864
How can my babies be early?
I've never been early to anything.

3
00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:09,408
Maybe they're not mine.

4
00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:11,271
I've always been faithful to you.

5
00:00:11,378 --> 00:00:12,709
(CONTINUES GROANING)

6
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,040
Push, damn it.

7
00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:17,345
- I'm not losing another baby today!
- (HALEY CONTINUES GROANING)

8
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:19,180
- Cardiac arrest. Crash cart!
- NURSE: BP's dropping.

9
00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:20,913
The shock could kill the baby!

10

1
00:00:02,569 --> 00:00:04,560
(INDISTINCT COMMENTARY ON VIDEO)

2
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:10,505
Oh, boy. Is it already the first day
of livestock auction season again?

3
00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:12,169
It's the same day every year, Mitchell.

4
00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:14,008
A fortnight
after the first ripe tomato comes in.

5
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,947
And seriously, this is what passes
for auction-calling these days?

6
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:19,245
Is it possible you're being a tad harsh?

7
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,183
You know, when you've been
at the top of your field,

8
00:00:21,254 --> 00:00:24,087
Greater Bud County Auction-Calling
Champion three years running,

9
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,124
it's hard to see anything

1
00:00:01,067 --> 00:00:03,900
- (INDISTINCT TALKING, GLASS CLINKING)
- CLAIRE: Speech! Speech.

2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,336
Okay, okay, okay. Settle down. Um...

3
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:11,034
It's hard to believe I'm 50.
Uh, as of today, I'm middle-aged.

4
00:00:11,111 --> 00:00:12,510
What's he been the last ten years?

5
00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:14,843
Delusional.
He thinks he's a millennial like us.

6
00:00:14,914 --> 00:00:16,939
I've thought a lot about what's next.

7
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:18,745
- Fifty-one.
- Thank you, buddy.

8
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,446
And it's important
that I continue to grow,

9
00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:24,523
and that I stay mentally challenged.